Suck your own dick.

rolled 7 = 7

I wonder why he didn't build it IN the loch ness.

rolled 11 = 11

>>5495193
Also, what does he specialize in?

Have your laser-loli upgrade your laser-monocle.

Add a chemical to the water to make it into beer; get the Scots to drink it for you.

Define "near Loch Ness".

>>5495186
Nice try Self-Fellatio man. I saw through your clever ruse.
>>5495193
It will forever be a mystery.
>>5495199
Bio-mechanic design.

He actually did a bit of work on Patrick.

Eh, I think I'll just sit and watch this quest as this is, naturally, just as planned.

>>5495227
Locate David Tennant.

Alright. First thing we'll need to do is flood the area with monster hunters. Go doctor up some photos and spread through our media connectiosn that new proof shows nessie may be real.

That'll put him off guard.

Get more detailed info from our scottsman friend. See if we can locate the base's primary entrance.

Mrrph Mmmh Mp mmhphhpp mhhrmph.

>>5495251
You get the normal die-hard Nessie Hunters swarming the Loch within a few days of the photo releases.

>>5495275
Are you the same Pyro I spoke to before?

`Shakes his head` Mph.

I want to let you know, The Scientist, that because of this thread I've been getting back into Evil Genius. If you haven't played it, you should. Also, it forced me to get out my guide on "How to be a Villain." I think I found it in a Japanese department store.

>>5495304
Heard about it. Never played it. Wish I did.

Now lets send some minions down there, disguised as nessie-hunters, to see if we can infiltrate the base.
Ask the scottsman about the base entrance, that'll be where we'll want to direct most of the hunters.

>>5495311

It's pretty awesome. It's about the campiest, tongue-in-cheekiest game I've ever played. You are an Evil Genius in the distant year 1960, and your goal is to build a Doomsday Device to Conquer the World. It's kinda like Dungeon Keeper, if you've ever played it.

Use the strike force we sent out with Highloli and drop them some an EMP field. Then use our death satellite to strike the fear of science into him and flush him out. When he comes to fight whatever he attached to himself will be useless.

>>5495347
This is too obvius. plus all of our current equipment is also disabled by EMPs.

Hmm...
Lets send Highloli-der to go hunt for Nessie. We'll have her dive right in and investigate the lake until she finds something.

>>5495361
Dude, we had a rock battle on the Eiffel Tower nothing is too obvious. Besides the only thing that would be disabled would be our lolis and we can send them back for this one.

>>5495377

Mphhph mhphphh?

>>5495325
You send a squad of your minions. You also make sure a certain minion is there to make sure things go smoothly.

>>5495377
Yeah, a "rock battle." Not a "Blow shit up battle." To the rest of the world we look like a good guy. We've been earning their trust... waiting... waiting for that day...

but until then we must remain "the good guy"

Use our orbital sciencings to scan for the base.

Consider designing dorfbots to do subterrainian searches.

What number are we up against again?

>>5495395

We have enough media resources to spin anything we do. Hell we built a satellite in the shape of a skull that's equipped with weaponry without permission, the plan wasn't bad.

>>5495427

A unauthorized weapons platform in orbit you say?

I just dont know how EMPs work against bio-mechanical nonsense. Whats Word of God on this, Sci? Does the plan seem like it'll work?

>>5495392

Determined minion, fuck yeah! Sounds like he found the base, now all we need to do is bust it open or find a way to make him come out.

>>5495408
Alrighty.

Well so far you've only been able to find a denser area than normal on the north western lake side of the Loch. it could be a base.

I'm trying to wrap my mind around this whole anal cancer and genital herpes picture dump going on. Some of the images are mind boggling ugly. The fact the person has a folder probably full of this stuff just amazes me further...

>>5495467
I just hope he enjoys his ban.

>>5495467

I must agree with you on that.

>>5495467
Tunnel from Loch Ness to his base in order to flood it. He'll have to come out sooner or later.

>>5495447
Have scuba-minions go in and investigate for secret openings. Keep an eye out for nessie. Have live feeds of their visual sightings going.

>>5495467
Wrap your mind around the fact that said person probably keeps these pictures for masturbatory purposes. Enjoy your brainfart burrito.

Quest threads suck

>>5495504

I remember way back when these things used to disgust and horrify me. My god 4chan has desensitized the hell out of me.

>>5495467

I knew a guy in elementary school whose mom was a doctor specialized in venereal diseases. She didn't want to be bothered learning how to make slideshows, so she just got him to do it instead. I was suddenly reminded of him because of this picture dump.

>>5495504
Yet it will live on regardless of your sage or herpes, what you're doing is incredibly pointless.

Build digger bots. send them into the lake to "Search for nessie" Try digging through that mysterious wall. Maybe we'll end up flooding him out.

>>5495526
I'm guessing he didn't turn out well.

the real life equivalents of guro posters are the hillbilly Republicans trying to shout down their local representatives at the US town hall meetings.

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

>>5495498
I've been waiting to rip off Johny Quest for a decade.

>>5495539

This seems as good a plan as any. Do this. Your minions are just independent treasure hunters trying to find Nessie, and how shocking it would be if they were to accidentally stumble across a den of evil.

>>5495539
Digger bots? Anyone else up for this idea?

Doesn't Ivan have subs?

Can't we borrow one for a little while, being the big hero & all?

A horde of clam diggers?

Can we recruit them from Barnegat bay?

>>5495566

Nah. Digger bots are would blow our alibi of Nessie seekers, because Nessie seekers don't have access to that kind of money.

>>5495554
Whoa, hey now.

I don't like /b/tarded sagers any more than you do, but "representatives" are supposed to "represent" their constituents.

Not that I care one way or the other about bickering over health care reform, but if the people that live in the district that elected you make it clear they're unhappy with your political decisions, that seems pretty straighforward to me.

We don't get that riled up where I live, though. We're pretty chill out here.

Mpmhph mhphh....Mhhhhhhph.

Make the digger bots, just disguise them as high tech underwater video cameras and our cover is safe.

>>5495566
>>5495561
Well that answers that question.

>>5495634
Follow the drills into the base, we can get a peak at what kind of tech he's got in there before he the place floods.

>>5495670
Follow them with cameras, not in person, of course.

>>5495634
Did that wall kill the drill's father or something?

Your minions have hidden cameras concealed about them. Sit back and watch what happens.

>>5495670
>>5495709
Time to see what's up for where you are digging.

>>5495758

That drill has a grudge. He is an avenging angel of all robot-dom, righting wrongs wherever he sees them. But this time, it's personal.

>>5495805
This summer one drill will take the law into his own hands ... err drill bit. It's Judge Drill.

>>5495835

And his sidekick, inquisitive minion.

Well what the flying fuck do we have here? Looks like a secret room that isn't on any registered lists you would know of. It also appears to be located scenic-secret fucking place. You found a hidden base.

>>5495888
Examine the room, if there's nothing of any interest hit that door switch.

Look around. Check inventory. Examine switch.

This going to be awesome minions time to shine. He's gonna take this dude down one-on-one.

>>5495951
Quick cursor glance around the room then ready our weapon and open the door. Also send our a signal to base and tell them what we've found.

>>5495918
>>5495951
>>5495993

>>5496068

Our Minions are fucking awesome.

>>5496201
As you admire the actual professional ability of your minions, the competition enters the room. You can't see any arms on the(what you assume might be) human. The jaw on the face of it though looks different.

>>5496238
TAKE POSITIONS! MINIONS WITH RIOT SHIELDS ENGAGE TARGET FROM THE FRONT! DETERMINED MINION GAIN A FLANKING POSITION!

>>5496238
Perform a scan on the target. Relay information to the minions let them know what their fighting against

>>5496238
order your minions to fire at its mouth, and to prepare for things to be shot out of its mouth.

>>5496267
>>5496295
>>5496327
You have no time to scan and barely enough time to deploy the shields. opening it's impressive maw, the abomination releases an unbelievably powerful blast of air.

The minions holding the shield is slowly forced back as another attempts to flank.

>>5496409
order the minions to use lazers if they have 'em, lazers wont be pushed back by the airblast

>>5496409
DETERMINED MINION USES FALCON PUNCH!

IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!

get 3 to spam GODAWFUL music in the base, while playing music that gets the minions to RIP N TEAR, and MAIMBURNKILL

>>5496426
Determined Minion only uses machine guns because I get to draw something like this.

>>5496526
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJgB8b-0aLg&fmt=18 this is playing in my mind while i watch this

>>5496526
Shoot faster! Shoot harder! Yours is the gun that will pierce the armor!

I wonder if we gave him dual-weildin' rights
Cause man... the only thing better than one gun is two guns.

>>5496562
when he gets back we need to give him more dakka.

Get 3 to hack into the bases security systems. If she can't shut the abomination down herself she can at least see whats going on through security camera's and advise the minions in the base. Make sure she makes a direct line of communication to determined minion. He'll need continuous situation updates from 3 to make informed command desicions and vise versa. The more we know the less risk involved with our actions.

>>5496572
While we do this we should see about making direct contact with our current enemy. That'll keep him distracted while we assault his base.

I propose we open communications immediatly - using our nameless loli mouthpiece, of course.

We're still planning to turn this guy into loli-walter, right?

>>5496681
Loli in a snappy suit. So yes.

Also polite sage.

So... what's the overall plan here? We're just going to assault him with minions, in his own base?

I dont know how determined our minion may be... but we might need a better plan than that.

Can we have our minions escort the digbots as they work their way poking holes into the major thuroughfare of the base? That'll allow us to flood the dude out and capture him as he tries to escape.

>>5496712
Exactly why 3 should be in contact with determined minion. We don't want to risk drowning our only capable minion.

I wish to begin a slightly long term plan. We're a master of atomics, right? We also have most of the world's nuclear capable superpowers feeling high regards toward us.

I propose sending at least 200 (the more the merrier) nuclear missiles into space, without 3's knowledge. Set to detonate in a precise pattern upon distance best suited to our goal. Then, at the appropriate time (precalculated to ensure good weather, unless we want to make the weather obey us), we ask 3 if she'd stargaze with us for the night.

Cue the nukes going off thousands of miles away in a pattern spelling out "3, will you marry me?"

>>5496762
second

Let's not get distracted, here.

>>5496762
Third.

Focus on the mission at hand here people. Start making plans when we get home.

>>5496712
I think this is probably the best bet. Headshoots has recently taught me that no matter how powerful a dorf, unless he has ranks in swim, he's more than capable of drowning. We'll flood his throne room and catch him in his escape pod.

>>5496762

n-th. And here I remember how The Scientist was saying we were being a real douchebag, just casually manipulating her feelings to beat her and enlist her in an earlier thread.

How you misjudge us, sir.

OH FFFFFFFFF-

Who would have thought that number 4 would have more than one abomination?

>>5496762
>>5496818
Well shit, I honestly thought you guys were.

>>5496829
FUCK NO DETERMINED MINION!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

THATS IT! FULL COMBAT MODE! CRASH OUR FORTRESS INTO THAT FUCKING LAKE SHORE AND DRILL DIRECTLY INTO THAT FUCKER'S BASE! ALL MINIONS GO! WE WILL HAVE VENGENCE!

FUCK THIS SHIT!! ODST's ARE FUCKING GO!!!

>>5496829
Hey guys! Guess who's getting a shiny new body!?

>>5496896

FUCK I NEED TO PREORDER THAT STILL

>>5496868
Wait, are you propsing crashing our giant fortress into Loch Ness using our giant oil/magma drill to pierce his defences and then unleashing swarm after swarm of minion from every available opening in a despirate hope that if we send enough men at the problem we will eventually be victorius?

I'm in full support of this plan.

>>5496954

FANTASTIC.

Nothing could possibly go wrong.

We really should have gotten stormtrooper minions. Don't we have really good relations with powerful countries? Surely we could have leased some of their soldiers for this.

But yeah, enemy needs to be taught a HARSH LESSON.

If we're doing this, we should ready all of our defences and prepare for a direct counter-assualt.

FALL BACK INTO DEFENSIVE POSITIONS! TELL US WHAT WE'RE FIGHTING HERE 3!

>>5496903
LEAVE NO MAN OF ANY IMPORTANCE BEHIND PULL HIM BACK AND CAL FOR MEDI-VAC!

>>5496954
This. And make clones of the dead determined minion. Our minions need to be determined and awesome. And give them TWO guns instead of one.

>>5496572
>>5496613
"It looks like it's one for you and one for me eh?" The pompous smirk of your enemy's only helps to raise your utter rage.

It was easy for three to send a communication once you knew where he was. Even as he speaks to you confidently, 3 starts virus bombing his tech back to the stone ages.

Don't do that. We need a plan to fight 4's minions.

Use 6's genetic engineering knowledge to create a virus that will attack the connection between their organic and mechanical parts.

>>5496999
BUST IN USING HIGHLOLIDER AND PATRICK MCGRUFFIN! FUCK YEAR SCOTTISH RAGE!!!!

>>5496954
Tell him he will pay for what he's done!

Then get ready for >>5496954 unless he surrenders immediatly.

Alternate plan: have 3 open every door in his base and flood the place as soon as we have determined minion rescued.

>>5497010
Second. Also prepare a lab to keep Determined minion as alive as we can keep him until this bastard gets lolified. Then use his knowledge to rebuild Determined minion's body and give him some upgrades.

>>5496999

Remember to congratulate 3 on a job well done.

>>5497040
Do both. Crash the fortress into his, send our guys out to recover DM, then flood that fucker.

If we move our fortress we might loss our hold on the oil market. Hold position and move in a heavy minion transport. Lets get some reinforcements in there.

No! Going in angry will only waste more resources.

>>5497010
"This virus, is the best virus. Ever."
Proving that even furries can be useful, 6 whips up a virus that starts, enhances, and speeds up the rejection rate for skin to any form of unnatural enhancements.

>>5496928
GET THE SPECIAL EDITION FAGGOT!

DO EEEEEEEEEEEEET!

>>5497103
"Good job, my pet. I shall un-"leash"' this upon our enemies at once"

Then start fucking unleashing it.

>>5497090
exactly right, thats why we are going in FURIOUS.

>>5497103
Load up another squad of minions armed with shields and our new experimental virus preferably in a way that can be fired from a gun. Get them in position fast and fight of the abominations. MAKE SURE TO RECOVER DM FROM THE FIRE ZONE. We must rebuild him.

Good, now send in Starshine and Moonbeam with the virus. They should be able to do something.

Crash our fortress into his, use that to hook our systems into his. Use that to spread the virus through his base. That'll soften up his minions enough for ours to overpower his as they flood out of the base like a swarm of angry hornets.

How ironic that the one he faught against so determinedly shall be the manufacturer of his rescue.

Launch minions from a Higgins landing craft style "crash pod" named so since it slams into the enemy fortress before unleashing a wave of pissed of motherfuckers who rip shit apart with their CROTCH STOMPING RAGE!

use EPIC SLOW MOTION CHARGE to deploy the minions with operatic music in the background. Like those scenes out of WW2 movies.

>>5497025
This will be a short fight.

>>5497309
Excellent. Remember, their first priority is Determined Minion.

>>5497309
Twenty kegs of the finest ale to however rescues DM first!

>>5497343
>>5497309
Just make sure they don't rip him in half during their competition to get the alcohol.

>>5497328
>>5497343
>>5497348
Jesus. He's Just a minion.

>>5497407
no he isnt, hes a DETERMINED MINION and thats better than the regular kind

>>5497407
Well yeah but he's like the only good one we have.

Besides despite essentially being some nameless and until recently faceless guy everyone likes him.

Oh by the way, the virus works.

Ok now that we have the one useful guy out let's SEND IN THE MOTHERFUCKING HOARD! Let's rack up a body count this mission eh?

>>5497452
It works really good.

>>5497407
You know how the Monarch always uses 21 & 24, and they're like his best minions. That's this guy for us.

Right! Send in everything we got. Lets capture this fucker and show him why you do not piss of a hornets nest.

Time for Highlolider, Patrick and their minion back-up to rape some face.

Send in the giant hornets. With lazers.

That enemy minion that took out Determined minion? Is it still alive? Maybe we should turn it into some sort of assistant-minion for DM. You know, as a get well soon gift.

Actually I have an idea I'd like to propose. Instead of a loli-butler we should make him into a little loli-docter like in >>5497407 we need an active infirmary in our base. Not too big since the list of people of importance that aren't bots is pretty short.

We definately need to upgrade our minions. Especially DM. And he should be promoted to Captain or general or something.

>>5497553
wait wait, if their minion beat our minion, then forget our lousy minion, let's take that one.

>>5497582
We're evil, not heartless. Besides, we gave them health benefits when we hired them, didn't we?

Hmm... maybe. I kinda had my heart set on butler though...
Still, this is a pretty good idea... I just dont know how humiliating it is. I mean, its a subservient position, but it's still a trusted position. This man is our enemy. We want to put him in his place.

How about we turn the minion who took out DM into the nurse loli?

>>5497590
Make him a Loli-Nurse and build a Doctorbot?

>>5497590
than make him a nurse never a full fledged docter. he worked all his life to reach being a genius scientist now he will be stuck as our nurse.

>>5497590
Then we can design her like a nurse instead.

Make sure to keep the scar on 4's right eye, though.

>>5497613
>>5497609
>>5497608
>>5497603
Nursemind

>>5497553
It's melting and in horrible spirit breaking agony.

Actually, their seems to be a large amount of howls of pain. Obviously they're accompanied by sporadic gunfire and what sounds like metal groaning and breaking. You get the distinct impression number 4 is pretty much running out of his expendable minions.

Hey Sci, quick request. When we're all done here at loch ness, how about we project a holographic image of Ness doing a huge flip over us in a boat, or us helping her fly off to her home world or us hugging her or something like that. It would make some great publicity, and we have all those nessie spotters nearby.

>>5497623
get the namelessloli to laugh UNGODLY and then end transmission.

>>5497623
"See how weak your constructs are? Join me, and I can make you something far superior."

>>5497623
"Surrender to me and tell me the location of any other members of the nine and I'll let you live."

He doesnt know we plan on letting him live anyway.

>>5497623
Break into his inner sanctum and capture him. Keep his attention anyway you can. Perhaps a ruse to draw his attention back to you. Make it appear as something has gone horribly wrong in your fortress. Make him overconfident that you won't succeed. That will lead to his fall.

Also FLASH AND CLEAR!

Tell him he has something on his forehead and he should really probably have that looked at.

Say it in as obnoxius a little girl voice as nameless can manage.

Then tell him he looks like a dumb-head. Just to confuse him.

>>5497693
Also look what my Google image search turned up. Tactical minions fuck yeah.

Is it just me, or does anyone else imagine HighLolider and the Scotsman discovering 4's stash of booze and getting drunk and just basically chillin out while the rest of the Minions assault the base?

>>5497644

>>5497725
Give nameless loli some candy after this, cause that shit was gold.

Now end communication and have 3 seal all the doors away from his private sanctum so he cant escape until our forces decide its time to nab him.

>>5497720
Well there goes any sense of me thinking my minions were unique.

>>5497725
god i love psycological warfare.

>>5497745
In fairness, your minions are probably more efficient.

Patrick and Highlolider fucking kick in the door and kick his ass. That is all.

>>5497788
Exactly. They don't need 3 layers of tac-vests full of flashbangs and extra mags to go storm the enemy base.

Our minions build a ramp with their fallen comrades and close to melee!

>>5497791
It looks like you captured Number 4.

>>5497822
Our guys make due with a gas mask a parka and a rifle that they probably carry the extra ammo to in their coat pockets. Oh and an extra large can of FUCKING RAGE!

>>5497853
Lets Nursify him!

Thats nurse. Not doctor. Can not stress this enough.

after changing 4 and giving him the new name "nurse" we need to invest in lasers that turn people into lolis. we must do this for PROGRESS!

>>5497870
Loli Nurse. Sorry. Loli Nurse.

>>5497876
We can easilly whip up a virus that does this no problem.

>>5497876
>>5497887

Cleary this virus simply needs a laser-based delivery system.

>>5497853
This image is awesome. Just thought you should know that. Also lolify his ass into our loli-nurse fix up DM and leave some minions around to clean up any stragglers in his base. After which it becomes Highlolider and Patricks TOTALLY AWESOME PUB. They manage it with a crew of minions since their both too busy getting hammered. This makes the people of Scotland love us and keeps us another form of cash flow.

>>5497887
that would be bad, if the virus mutates and spreads to everyone, then the human population would die out.

>>5497887
Give him twin hair buns! On either side of her head!

No mass lolification. Each one of our lolibots is special in her own way.

>>5497912
FUCK YEAH MINION PUB! We need an awesome name for it. Also make sure the nurse still has a scar on her face.

>>5497926
Mass shotafication?

The pub on the Loch?
The 8 Days at Sea?
The One?
Loli & McGruffin's Pub and Inn?
The Determined Nessie?

>>5497870
>>5497876
Number 4 is now your Loli Nurse.

>>5497975
Outstanding. Now lets let out an evil laugh, have her work up some plans for upgrading DM, and make her do some menial task that nurses do, like changing urine bags and things.

>>5497912
>>5497933
Sounds like the perfect plan. Whoops, forgot to draw the scar.

>>5497992
Treat him first. After that make him stronger, faster and more DETERMINED. He looks so manly already we just can't change that. Instead upgrade the inside of his body. Cybernetic eyes and the like.

More names.

-The One and Eight.
-The Four's Rest.
-The Highland.

I got to be honest here. I almost don't want to archive this just because of some of the more unsavory pictures. Anyone got a way to request some of the pictures being removed?

>>5498029
Not that I know of, and giving in like that will just embolden them.

To whoever archives this, include a note about the nsfw spam.

>>5498029
photoshoop?... archive it anyway.

We need more pub names:
The Loli's Claymore
The FUCK YEAH pub
The Beautiful 3

>>5498029
Not that I'm aware of, short of contacting the guy who does the archives directly. I'm sure if we just ask nicely it shouldnt be too much trouble.

Any chance on this, Sci? >>5497631

Looks like its allready in the archives.

>>5498029
All of your work is glorious and deserves to be archived for those who missed out the first time.

Why would you deny them that pleasure?

Anyone good with Photoshoop?

>>5498055
Archiving doesn't work that way

This quest is CLASSY. It must remain so.

He was willing to put up the quest that got purged while the archives were down. I'm sure he'll be willing to remove the less savory posts from this one.

So thats...
3, 4, 6 and 8, we've captured so far?
Almost over halfway complete. Things are going rather smoothly for us.
Lets hope we can nab a butler next time. We could use some good tea up in here.

Post more pub names people!

-The Manky Bastard
-The Redheaded Loli
-TOTALLY NOT AN EVIL SECRET BASE
-The Pub.
-The Scientist's Victory
-Patrick's McDrinking
-The Kaber That Pierces The Heavens Pub.

>>5498043
The Beautiful 3 sounds just fine.
>>5497631
Well I guess we could whip up some Holo-... OH SHIT!

>>5498171
The Kaber Toss Pub sounds like a good one to me.

>>5498174
Can Patrick use falcon punch?

>>5498174
Pfahaha

>>5498055
Ironically, that's what I'm using now instead of MS paint. Mind you it's shitty-shop, but it still counts.

I'm not even certain how to label it. Shit's extremely limited in every function ever. I just like it because it let's me save clean. Ms paint fucking blurs everything.

>>5498174
OH SHIT! WE'D BEST GET THIS ALL ON TAPE!
ALL OF IT.
SEND FOR MORE TAPE!

>>5498193
We need eight days worth of tape.

>>5498201
At least.

>>5498193
I couldn't resist having Nessie show up for a rematch. Didn't plan to draw it considering though. It's pretty late for me. Tell you guys what, if you still want me to draw Patrick McGruffin Wrestling the Loch Ness Monster, I'll start Bad Guy Quest 13 off with it.

>>5498201
Unless Highlolider gets in on it. In that case we can call it a day by sundown.

>>5498215
Sounds like a plan, Sci. It would make a good splash image if nothing else. Good one tonight dude. Looking forward to next time. Any idea when that's gonna be?

>>5498215
I'd be happy with a shot of him and Highlolider standing over a comatose Nessie High-fiving each other.

I have to admit I rush home from work sometimes to see if this quest has started yet. Yeah I'm a loser.

>>5498230
Depending on how shit goes, probably within either tomorrow or the next day. So Tuesday or Wednesday night.

>>5498261
Awesome Dude. See you then. Looking forward with Baited Breath.

Somebody replaced the herpes with an enjoyable french man. We're classy again.

>>5498171
Ale and Wenches

>>5498174
>>5498334
Damn we're smooth.