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  • File : 1250657002.jpg-(56 KB, 435x644, twilight-movie-poster.jpg)
    56 KB Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:43 No.5510014  
    pity the lich.

    spends eternity alone in his crypt with nothing to keep him company, or to talk to, than his reagents and components. Forever, trying to walk in Vecna's path and forever falling short.

    Me? As a vampire, I enjoy the delights of all this world has to offer. Blood, riches, women. What I want, I will get. My coven are the truests brothers and sister I have ever had. I am beautiful and terrible, whereas the lich is simply a dessicated shell , forever doomed to hide behind illusions of what he once was.

    pic related, it's my and my mortal girlfriend. she loves me. love, something liches never understood in life and forsake so easily, only to suffer the itch they cannot scratch in their undeath.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:44 No.5510024
    inb4 shitstorm
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:44 No.5510031
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    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:44 No.5510032
    this is the weirdest mutation of the "my name is John and i hate all you fags" meme ever
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:45 No.5510042
    Maximized empowered meteor swarm.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:45 No.5510043
    Vecna = God
    Strahd = stuck in barovia forever killing women by accident.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:45 No.5510046
    >pic related, it's my and my mortal girlfriend.
    >> GURPSfag 08/19/09(Wed)00:46 No.5510047
    So how's that incinerating upon contact with sunlight working for you?

    Oh wait...
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:47 No.5510061
    I actually played a Lich whose best friend was a paladin. Hellbred too, so he had no soul to boot. Started taking levels in psion after learning it could help him feel again, and runs his own construction company that specializes in charity work through undead labor.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:47 No.5510063
    Liches are more powerful in the magics.

    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:48 No.5510072
    > I actually played a Lich whose best friend was a paladin.


    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:48 No.5510074
    Hey, whoa. I know we all hate twilight but step the fuck off Strahd. He is the baddest man in town.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:49 No.5510096
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    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:50 No.5510103
    Aaaaw it's a shame without blood pumping you can't fuck her.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:52 No.5510121

    No RIPTEAR? You must not be a real vampire.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:56 No.5510168
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    If DJ Phylactery is to be believed, Liches are mad ballin' yo.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:57 No.5510181

    too bad Strahd will never leave town, if you know what I mean...
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)00:59 No.5510210

    Fuck yeah, three threads of badass rap and not a single vampire was represented. What does that tell you about the filthy bloodsuckers?
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)01:00 No.5510213

    oh yes they did. you didn't read Twilight carefully enough. the only fluid in a vampire's body is their venom, amirite?

    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)01:00 No.5510218
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    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)01:01 No.5510230

    They listen to nu-metal and R&B, not this rap shit
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)01:03 No.5510253
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    >spends eternity alone in his crypt with nothing to keep him company, or to talk to, than his reagents and components. Forever, trying to walk in Vecna's path and forever falling short.

    I don't think so. Picture fucking related.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)01:03 No.5510258
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    That's because vampires can't rhyme
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)01:05 No.5510279
    Vampires make a deal with Orcus to become vampires, but obviously Edward is just a thrall.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)01:08 No.5510308
    You heard it hear first folks, VAMPIRES AIN'T GOT NO RHYTHM!! Bet they can't dance either.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)01:09 No.5510315

    You read Twilight? Dude the fuck get the fuck out
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)01:10 No.5510331
    Liches get ghost blowjobs and cum etheral taint on their souls.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)01:25 No.5510447
    Liches don''t have any blood. Vampires don't have shit on them.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)02:40 No.5510848
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    dude, hella chicks like twilight. i have learned to cope.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)02:49 No.5510892
    I tried reading the first ten pages. I fucking hate the protagonist, whinly little bitch. BAWWW I had to move to my dad's place! BAWWW the car he bought me as a present wasn't brand new! BAWWW we only have one bathroom! BAWWW I'll never fit in because I'm a super-special unique snowflake that no-one understands!

    ...and then she cries herself to sleep. Fucking cunt.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)02:55 No.5510935
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    Do you know what vampires are?

    They're filthy, disease laden creatures with no concept of what living forever really means.

    When I decide to move on - and I will decide to move on - I shall abandon my physical form and leave it to wait for my return. I will explore the universe - universes - dimensions....and should those who seek my knowledge or property arrive, I will send a mere fragment of my essence back, and strip them of their souls to fuel new powers in other realms. And I will still exist when the sun grows cold and dark, when the vampires have perished in their madness when no living thing bleeds upon the cold, scorched earth.

    Vampires are fools.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:00 No.5510964

    Can I go with you? I almost close to becoming a Demilich...
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:01 No.5510971

    enjoy floating in space, alone, a tiny speck of insignificance in the great infinite. as madness slowly descends, I want you to know that we vampires enjoyed every second of our undeath, and we now rest.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:06 No.5511018

    True Undead are internally bond upon a single purpose. That is all we have, and all we think. We need nothing more...
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:07 No.5511028

    in other words : monomaniacs
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:07 No.5511029

    What space? I have all of many existences to explore and contemplate. You will be DEAD.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:08 No.5511040
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    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:08 No.5511042
    I dunno why people always insist that the inevitable result of eternal immortality is insanity. These are reality-warping entities we're talking about; what's stopping them from putting themselves into a permanent dreamlike state of perfect awesomeness?
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:09 No.5511047
    Guess what makes the litch way better than a vampire? Polymorph Self. BAM. Flesh and blood and organs and fluids. Go for a meat joy-ride, then back to the comprehending infinity.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:09 No.5511049
    Because that would be insanity?
    >> Richard Motion 08/19/09(Wed)03:11 No.5511065
    Except that Liches, as awesome spellcasters, can polymorph into a human or whatever and do whatever the fuck they want. Seriously. You can go to the abyss and bang smoking hot succubi, finish on their face, and then not have to worry about level drain because you're a lich.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:13 No.5511085

    We think on a different scale. What you --and living-- consider century's; is the same as I think of Billions, upon billions of years...
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:15 No.5511097
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    Yeah, but you sparkle, faggot.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:16 No.5511111
    Vampires are fucking weak shit. The fucking sun can take them out. A small stream can stop them in their tracks. The can be destroyed by an angry mob of peasants with a piece of wood in their sleep. Plus, Liches get bitches.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:17 No.5511127
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    >>5511111 The fucking sun can take them out.

    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:18 No.5511133

    Why else do you think Undeath is called a curse? Insanity by--mortal terms-- is part of the package. Vampires and undead that retain sufficient remnants of life are the worst case; as they are trapped between both sides...
    >> Richard Motion 08/19/09(Wed)03:21 No.5511160

    Except that when you're a lich, your wisdom (and mental well-being) goes up.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:22 No.5511179

    oh, your phylactery? gone with the planet. try not to piss off people in sigil when you inevitably get there.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:23 No.5511184
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    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:23 No.5511186


    Though, I would advices staying away from the far realm. I have never felt the same after studying it...
    >> Richard Motion 08/19/09(Wed)03:24 No.5511202

    Except as a lich, you're immune to mind-affecting effects, so the things out there can fuck off, they can't drive you nuts.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:25 No.5511212
    What makes you think I will need to be regenerated after I'm a spirit cruising the multidimensional existences?
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:25 No.5511216

    How is the more life like one shitty? That may be true on one of the Hentai boards, but were not one of theme...
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:27 No.5511235

    left : vampire
    right: lich
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:28 No.5511243

    Oh, I see. Thinks Anon for clarifying that for me...
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:30 No.5511264

    crap! I messed up the ritual I used to become a lich!
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:32 No.5511277

    >crap! I messed up the ritual I used to become a lich!

    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:32 No.5511285
    The left one is straight up lame. At least the one on the right is arousing.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:37 No.5511327
    To each his own. I prefer regular, albeit red, eyes to ones that are bigger than her mouth and nose put together.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:37 No.5511328
    Worm that Walks here
    vampires are pussies
    liches are psycho
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)03:43 No.5511369
    Vampires in DnD are nothing but feral creatures, hellbent on feeding. Their facial features harden, and are more akin to a beast than a beauty.

    A lich could probably control a vampire through its superior command of magic.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)04:53 No.5511922
    I will use my powers as a Demilich to send each of your worms and other vermin to its own demiplane (one per worm)! All devoid of life, and with no way of escape... [psychotic laugh of a billion year old entity...
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:02 No.5511969
    Hilarious until the REAL Worm that Walks comes out to say hi.

    Kyuss is a real bastard.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:05 No.5511978
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    Dorsain here, just reminding you that YOU ARE ALL FOOD.
    >> SirBriggz 08/19/09(Wed)05:18 No.5512039
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    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:19 No.5512047
    Kyuss is a cool guy, has his own band and doesn't afraid of anything.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:20 No.5512050
    >> Rektum 08/19/09(Wed)05:21 No.5512054
    I lol'd.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:24 No.5512067

    >and doesn't afraid of anything

    "and doesn't fear anything"

    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:24 No.5512071
    rolled 424 = 424


    I hope I give you a heart attack.
    >> Richard Motion 08/19/09(Wed)05:25 No.5512076

    Thats fucking nothing. Kyuss goes down like a bitch.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:27 No.5512085
    OP, you should have used the "sup faggots" copypasta.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:28 No.5512088
    You're new here. Don't question that, it's true.
    >> SirBriggz 08/19/09(Wed)05:33 No.5512124
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    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:35 No.5512133

    I was not questioning it. The word order just really, really, really hurt my eyes. XD

    Besides: Both mean the same fucking thing. Lulz
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:37 No.5512150
    You corrected an ages old meme, that's why. No one corrects memes - or says "lulz" outside of /b/.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:37 No.5512152
    >Guess what makes the litch way better than a vampire? Polymorph Self. BAM. Flesh and blood and organs and fluids. Go for a meat joy-ride, then back to the comprehending infinity.

    My gods, if I become a lich, I can finally be the little girl!
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:38 No.5512155

    No. No, they do not mean the same thing. From a semantic context they have the same meaning, but the former carries an extra meaning to those who have been here.

    You are a failu-

    No, wait, I get it.
    You're a grammar nazi troll.

    Never mind!
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:38 No.5512161
    Oh, liches.
    >> SirBriggz 08/19/09(Wed)05:45 No.5512185
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    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:45 No.5512189
    Enjoying your nWoD, OP?
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:46 No.5512193

    I love you. SO MUCH
    >> SirBriggz 08/19/09(Wed)05:52 No.5512223
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    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)05:54 No.5512230

    Oh god.
    >> SirBriggz 08/19/09(Wed)06:06 No.5512274
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    >> SirBriggz 08/19/09(Wed)06:07 No.5512281
    I didn't finish the vamp's head
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)06:08 No.5512284
    Moar lichy goodiness!
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)06:14 No.5512316
    Bitches don't have shit on my ascension to demilichdom.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)06:15 No.5512322
    what the fuck guys

    this thread was here when i went to bed

    and it's still here

    /tg/ takes things too anally
    this is why you'll never have girlfriends, and when you die, you turn into liches and worms.
    >> SirBriggz 08/19/09(Wed)06:18 No.5512353
    good then i can rape ya mom from the dead
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)06:20 No.5512368
    I think somebody's forgotten about a little thing called the dhampir? All the benefits of being a vampire, none of the drawbacks. Eat that, motherfuckers.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)06:25 No.5512399
    I *have* a girlfriend. This is just what I do when she's out of town and I'm bored out of my skull.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)06:31 No.5512434
    Your hand is out of town... WTF?
    >> SirBriggz 08/19/09(Wed)06:34 No.5512455
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    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)07:19 No.5512682
    dhampir? Isn't that a half vampire? Lives for like 20 years or somesuch?
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)07:23 No.5512699
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    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)07:39 No.5512770
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    I think I'll just leave this picture of a wraeththu here.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)07:42 No.5512781
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    >Blood, riches, women love

    Pathetic fleshling, there is only one thing worthy of our attentions, power, absolute, infinite, and unrelenting, it is the only thing that matters and we, shall, have, it. You who are mired in the needs and desires of the flesh will never understand or surpass us, we are as far beyond you as you are beyond the mortals you feed on.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)07:49 No.5512823

    why is the vampire guy fat? :(
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)07:51 No.5512841
    Because it's funnier.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)08:02 No.5512905

    What series is this character from?
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)08:04 No.5512911
    None, from the Pearl Jam music video for Evolution.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)08:05 No.5512919

    music video. do the evolution , pearl jam.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)08:08 No.5512926
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    Liche here. Vampires wish they were as badass.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)08:11 No.5512934
    Actually, vampires aren't all that far past the mortals they feed on. I mean, they're a little faster, a little stronger, and they don't age, but really they're still in the same general realm. It'd be more accurate to say that a litch is as far beyond a vampire as a vampire is beyond a gelatinous cube.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)08:17 No.5512949
    Iron Lich. The best kind of lich.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)08:19 No.5512952
    Type immortality into google images
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)08:21 No.5512953
    In Dnd terms yes but most other games with vampires in them the vamps can effortlessly crush a human. The rest of my post is still valid though.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)08:22 No.5512956
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)13:34 No.5513125

    oh lordy, is that a loli lich? DO WANT
    >> DJ Phylactery 08/19/09(Wed)13:51 No.5513201
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    DJ Phylactery doin a drive by on this glitterati fang fag. Word up:

    DJ P is sick to death of these buck tooth newbies lookin for respect. I reject your project to become undead elect, and I suspect you'd best reflect on how best to genuflect before my fireballs start to connect. You think you're all hot, paradin' around, sleeping in coffins deep in the ground; your minds unsound, your priorities skewed, but you've messed with the best, friend, and now you bitches be screwed. Nibblin' on necks, seducin' fat chicks, you're real hot to the goths but liches get the REAL fine bitches. Because we got knowledge, books tomes and power, and we don't got no curfew, we're workin' all hours. Don't be lookin so sour, your power's a joke. Mist form, dominate, super strength, and speed, I got those spells and more but I don't even need, them to drop your pasty ass down to powder. I just mess with your alarm clock, and you're up at the wrong hour. So you cower before the light of the sun, burned to dust in the wind while I'm havin my fun. Or maybe you don't burn, maybe you glitter? If that's so then you know I'll be crafting you into a diamond shitter. Cos I'm ballin', while you're just appallin'. Face it home slice, there's no way you can win, DJ Phylactery is gonna make bling out of your sparkly skin.

    DJ Phylactery out.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:03 No.5514242
    any takers against this most foul utterance, or are we still waiting for the sun to go down?
    >> Bleaker-tan's Player 08/19/09(Wed)17:11 No.5514328

    I don't think it's POSSIBLE to deliver a rebuttal to this hardcore smackdown, man.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:14 No.5514355
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    Fuck you, man, just... just... Fuck you.

    I'm out of here. Like, forever, man.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:15 No.5514359
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    I believe, sir, that you have just been FUCKING OWNED.

    Thank you, and good night.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:15 No.5514362
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    Mother of God...
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:16 No.5514372
    >enjoy the delights the world has to offer
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:17 No.5514380

    God, I love DJ P.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:17 No.5514384
    God damn. Saving screen capping like the motherfucking fist of a shocked god. That was fucking hard core.

    Another victory for DJ Phylactery.
    >> Cr9 !PLAN9M8Wsc 08/19/09(Wed)17:19 No.5514398
    And so it came to pass that the purpose of all of human civilization was reached, and it was good.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:28 No.5514487
    Oh wut
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:29 No.5514494
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    Oh god, if I still had bodily fluids, I'd be so wet right now.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:33 No.5514531
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    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:45 No.5514627
    Y'know, I can't remember the last time a skeleton that wasn't white or yellow.

    Fuckin racist liches, where are the black magicians?
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:52 No.5514703
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    Black mages don't need skeletons.
    >> I apologized on 4chan 08/19/09(Wed)17:54 No.5514720
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    But if that's true, how could they do this?
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:54 No.5514722
    +333 iternetssieit ou yuu uu ser
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:55 No.5514732
    [Not a bone]
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:56 No.5514739
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    >Implying there is a bone in a boner.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:57 No.5514759
    Shadow liches, Tome of Magic, Shadowcaster section. Black liches, done and done.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)17:59 No.5514776
    it is te awesome!
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)18:02 No.5514800
    Vampire? yer not a vampire. yer an elf. a pedophile elf
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)18:02 No.5514804
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    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)20:06 No.5515556
    this thread is being bumped in a way most righteous.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)20:10 No.5515593
    A vampire can be struck in it's weak point for MASSIVE DAMAGE.

    A lich can seal it's weak point away in a private demi-plane.
    >> Anonymous 08/19/09(Wed)20:43 No.5515924
    Well, you've got a point. You guys sure do have an advantage over liches in every potential way. I wish you and your girlfriend the best of luck. Hey, why don't you two go out to the beach this weeken- OH WAIT! YOU CAN'T!
    >> Anonymous 08/20/09(Thu)00:16 No.5517802
    Vamps seduce, but liches bone the bitches.
    >> Anonymous 08/20/09(Thu)00:17 No.5517813
    Fuck it all, troll thread is a DAY OLD!
    >> Anonymous 08/20/09(Thu)00:19 No.5517827
    I have a lot of experience in that, OP, but I've never seen anything like this before.
    www.Yähøø.com - Do you Yahoo?
    www.eBäy.com - Buy and sell online!
    www.AnønTälk.com - Discuss anything anonymously!
    www.Wikipediä.org - The free encyclopedia!
    >> Anonymous 08/20/09(Thu)00:59 No.5518379

    the OP must be proud.

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