The evil fuck-misery forest, pt. 1
Right, so we're all ready to enter the Forest, and we're thinking about stealing some ponies so we can take more stuff with us, when the Halfling and DM-Mouthpiece PC voice in "Oh no, don't take this stuff, the Shifter will throw a shit fit."
So finally after arguing for 10 min we say fine, and we trek off into the woods. For the most part it's an uneventful misery of walking, skill checks to make sure we don't eat poisonous shit, or otherwise kill ourselves. All the while Chris keeps trying to pathetically role play his character. He's always complaining about bacon, or roast beef or some shit.
Anyway eventually we get to this giant magic river, and Chris just has to remind EVERYONE that the river is probably the one the DM, the Shifter, and the DMPC all warned us about 10 fucking times. YES. THANK YOU. SHUT UP.
So first the guys roll perception, and we see a boat on the far side of the river, and the guys with the highest DEX rolls throw some rope across to a knot sticking up and make a ferry. Then it's the usual puzzle of how to get across.
On the final part though, because my character is a fatass, I have to go all by myself. Then I "Failed my roll" to get across, and fall into the river. Bullshit. The DM tells me that I'm unconscious and can't be woken up.
"God damn it", I'm thinking. So of course fast foreward through the next parts about making the Halfling climb up to the top of the forest so we can get a fix on our location, since the DM is actually making us slowly starve to death. Eventually I wake up, and We see some Elves prancing about in the woods with food and shit.
I figure "Hey guys, they've got food, and they're fucking Elves. Let's go get that shit." BUT NO. The DM tells us how every time we get close the Elves fucking vanish, and we keep on starving.
BRACE FOR BULLSHIT.