Smoke pot and acquire wisdom.

>>5795973

This quest is off to an incredible start.

Pretend to meditate

Acquire wisdom and then smoke pot, losing the wisdom and going on a quest to regain it, and then smoking pot.

>>5795999
..by smoking pot.

vision quest of the cacti eater? anyone?

>>5796014

Acquire cacti. Acquire pot. Smoke wisdom.

Pick up a rock, a shotgun, a fifth of Jack Daniels, and a rooster. Secure said items in your hands/arms/about your person, then start walking towards the cave with a purposeful tread as if you know EXACTLY where you are going and what you're going to do when you get there.

Yea, let's get some of that peyote stuff and go on a 'vision' quest.

>>5796036

Brotip: try this on your family sometime (though you'll have to substitute something in place of the rooster, more likely.) Walk through the family room casually as if nothing is up.

Reap Wut.

The only herbs on the barren mountain are in your bag, and they are made to be eaten, not smoked.

You are perfectly happy in your cave, and after all the effort you've spent making it livable you have no desire to leave suddenly on a quest.

>>5796087
smoke the herbs

>>5796087

SMOKE HERB.

smoke bag

are any of the herbs nutmeg?

>>5796118
any herb in particular? oregano, cilentro, basil maybe?

>>5796149
no nutmeg is a spice...

>>5796153
>>5796155
lemme guess, you guys are from /ck/

As a grandmaster, what are my powers?

>>5796153

Word of advice. If Bijou, DO NOT BURN. Shit smells like undeath and sadness when burned.

rolled 98 = 98

>>5795957

Is this about platos cave analogy?

You toss the herbs onto the fire.

>>5796087
huff that shit. Awwww-yeah.

Go check the manure piles in the back of the cave, see if another crop of 'shrooms are ready yet.

What's it like outside our cave? Snowy, forest, rocky?

Wait for a young boy to come along and tell him that it is his destiny to free the empire from the evil Emperor.

Give him an old magic sword you have lying around, follow him, and pretend that you've been waiting for him and that the sword is his father's. Teach him some magic, and have him defeat the empire because you were bored.
Try not to die though.

>>5796249
Rocky.

>>5796278
That seems like a good plan. The last guy who came up asked you what was best in life, so you shoved him off the mountain.

The cave quickly fills up with smoke.

>>5796323

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

Inhale.

>>5796323
Probably time to take that shit off the fire.

>>5796323

Waste of herb. huff as much as you can.

>>5796351
You reach to grab the cooking meat, catching a lungful of the smoke on the way. You shrink back, retching and coughing. It is incredibly noxious.

>>5796444

Leav the cave, it's time for ADVENTURE!

>Grandmaster Chyo

>>5796444
Step outside of cave, hoping that mystic smoke adds to your image, greet adventures in grandiose voice.

>>5796475
You tie the stick to the back of your robes and walk outside. A man seems to be waiting there. Upon seeing you, he says, "Grandmaster Chyo! I have come to ask you a question."

BONUS: Find and name constellations in the stars.

How old are we, I mean do we actually have any small wisdom? or magics?

Were we exiled by some ancient order or power.

Or are we just ye olde 'under the freeway vagrant.'

>>5796596
Shove this asshole down the mountain.

>>5796596
"Ask so we both may learn."

Let him ask his question, no need to shove him off if its a good one...

>>5796596
Ask him why he needs to ask you the question.

>>5796612
Technically you have access to unlimited wisdom, but it is limited by your scope of thought.

>>5796614
"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck i-- AUGH!"

>>5796698
Now lets throw some rocks down on him.

-Rant-"Heh, stupid bastard, and I thought here was someone with an actualy good question... who climbs a damn mountain to ask the damn woodchuck riddle? Who? Is everyone down there a damn inbred retard these days?
... Whoops better go check that roast,, I hope those eleven sacred herbs and spices did the trick..."

>>5796743
While doing this, yell down at him: "The road to enlightenment is rocky!"

>>5796765
Fuck yes.

I love you so fucking much /tg/

go put out the fire before it ruins your cave

>>5796927
Do we actually have anything in our cave to get ruined? I mean, we have the spit, and there's that flat black thing that we don't know what it is, but otherwise isn't it a vacant cave?

none the less the fires stench will make the cave difficult to live 8n so put it out

>>5796948
That is a mat you found and laid down to sleep on.

>>5796990
with what?

>>5797013
OH FUCK GET THE MAT.

>>5796823

AWESOME

>>5797020
Piss on it

>>5796794
oh, this a million times this

>>5797021
FUCK FUCK FUCK, GET THAT FUCKING MAT.

I'm opposed to putting out the fire on the reason that it reduces the items owned by 1. A fire, burning logs, sleeping mat, spit roast, robes. -> charred logs, sleeping mat, spit roast, robes.

You see? Few items. So sad.

YOU HEARD THEM GET THE MAT

>>5797044
It's going to smell like burnt hair and noxious fumes; do we really still want it?

[ANSWER: Fuck yeah; DC 15 craft check to make it into a +0 Cloak of Mephitic Cloud!]

>>5797052
No, fire -> ashes.

And if DF has taught me anything, it's that ashes are a perfectly suitable building material.

>>5797088
HOLY SHIT ARE YOU SOME KIND OF GENIUS? THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN.

>>5797052
Fire won't keep burning forever (unless it's magic, and then the argument is moot).

You'd think the pile of bodies at the foot of the mountain would discourage them, but noo, they keep coming up to ask shitty questions.

You crouch and make your way around the fire, coughing and waving away smoke. You fold up the mat and put it in your belt.

God damn, that thing is still smoking horribly. What kind of herbs were those, anyway?

>>5797134
Herbs with the unknown quality of inducing mind bending hallucinations when burned and inhaled.

go see what the assholes outside want

>>5797156
Especially when done so in the small confines of a cave and directly before or after committing murder.

Where did we even get those herbs, was it in the checkout rack of those suspicious, traveling antique stores?... You know, the kind where you pick up ancient scrolls, ancestrial swords, and the forgotton artifacts of a lost age those adventures so love to ask for...

I suppose the job's really like being a grownup on Halloween, hold open the door and pretend to be impressed by the costumes they're wearing this year, then give them the goodies so they go bother someone else.

>>5797134
Question the smoke's place in this world until it blinks out of existence.

>>5797196
Maybe we can will it into become more solid.

And then push it down the mountain?

>>5797253
No, fuck that shit. Question the smoke right out of existence.

Gather up anything else useful and leave before you suffocate to death already.

>>5797134
now, toboggan down mountain on the mat.

So, exactly what are you a grandmaster of?

>>5797345
Pushing people down mountains. Obviously.

>>5797345
grandmaster of assisted mountain dismount.

You make your way out of the cave and look down the (now mildly bloodied) side of the mountain. You COULD toboggan down it on the mat, or you could just use the chute you made.

>>5797436
Is it a poop chute?

>>5797463
No, it is a person chute.

>>5797436
TOBOGGAN

>>5797436
Throw fire down side of mountain. Solves two problems at once.

>>5797475
So where do we poop?

>>5797436

Have a homoerotic day dream.

>>5797483
FIRE DOWN THE MOUNTAIN
RUN BOY, RUN!

TOBAGGAN MOTHERFUCKER

YOU ARE THE GRAND FUCKING MASTER YOU CAN DO THIS

BELIEVE IT!

Welp, away we go.

"Grandmaster Chyo! Why did the chicken cross the ro--"

>>5797656
My sides, oh god.

>>5797656
Let's see if we can ride our toboggan down on top of that guy. You know to protect it.

You begin the long ride down the mountain.

> ChyoQuest Ch.1 End

(this may seem like a short place to cut it off, but it is late, further chapters will be longer

this quest sponsored by Who What Why Where How
http://wwwwh.thecomicseries.com/

thanks for making me laugh

This better have been archived or something.

>>5797830
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5795957/

imagine my surprise