this is gonna be a great thread
i can feel it

Of all pics, why this one?

This sounds like a fun story with a message!

haha oh wow

>radiation therapy that she required
>radiation
>required

>>5820756

Did you make her pleasure you in exchange for radiation treatments?

You did, didn't you?!?

You sick fuck.

Obama is a socialist, he wants to brainwash kids into wanting more free shit then they already get.

>>5820788
UNCLE WW
IMPROVE THIS THREAD WITH A STORY!

>>5820840

I don't think I can top holding back on medicine so you can pork a cancerous chick.

Besides, I had story time yesterday. If I tell a story every time I'm on I'll run out of shit.

>>5820849
You mean I missed a storytime?
Shit.
It wasn't in the archives....
Oh well, have some lesbians Uncle WW.

From the OP's opening I'm sure this is some kind of thread that will no doubt be attempting to troll about the proposed health care reform in the US.

Certainly it was in need of reform - the government was actually spending more money than socialised countries and getting less. But will it succeed? Is it right for America? Who knows, maybe some enlightened economists can tell us.... in a relevant board.

Get off of /tg/

lol the sage, it does nothing

Wasteland Warrior, if you're going to make a decent thread, requesting you make one and not bump this one. No doubt people will just fall for the inevitable trolls that will come and bore all of us non-Americans with topics we neither know nor care about.

>>5820877
>>5820866

Samefag

>>5820859

Well, I can retell it then. I was up to about 4 am looking for players for a dh game.

A buddy of mine was running a space opera campaign, and the 2 lead players were a mary sue space vampire princess and the prince of a rival kingdom. The Dm didn't have an evil bone in his body, so he asked me to be the BBEG of his campaign. I used my starting wealth to buy small arms, nuclear weapons and a modest trade fleet.

It was Operation Financial Unicron

>>5820896
>FINANCIAL
>UNICRON

PROCEED

no u

>>5820896

Oh my god, I was gonna post a horrible reaction image to the op's picture, but I could give two shits about that right now. You have my full undivided attention.

>>5820892

That's how I roll, I find a shitty thread and latch on, hell in my first big thread near the end people came in to decry rape, which the OP was interested in.

This thread fills me with angst.

>>5820896
>It was Operation Financial Unicron

>>5820896
YUS

>>5820896

Anywho, the sparkly vampire princess was giving a speech about tolerance and understanding. While she was trying to unite the two empires I was busy stirring shit up. I snuck up on the prince, who was wearing his dress whites and none of his combat shit and shanked him with a syringe full of anesthesia. As soon as he was out I punched two holes in his neck and hooked them up to a wet vac. I made a stealthy escape and as soon as the authorities found the prince sans blood they jumped to the obvious conclusion, and war were declared.

>>5820866

Is it right? Yes, it's much better economics. For all that americans bitch about OMG SOCALISUM, they actually spend more per year on healthcare than most other western nations for a standard of care that is very nearly the worst amongst them.

Will it succeed? Probably not. The republicans have gone foaming at the mouth over this, to the point that they're coming up with hilarious idiocy about old people death camps, and the democrats will eventually slightly cater to them. The worst fuckup in the former system was that the US spent an insane amount of money supporting the pharmaceutical industry as opposed to vastly cheaper better basic care, and not only has that not been addresses, it cannot possibly be addressed. The U.S. model dug itself so deep a hole that the best anyone can do under that political system is make it slightly less deep.

No, I am not a socialist.

A hint: When you are the only country in the world that equates governmentally-funded basic health care with socialism, it's usually not the entire world that's wrong.

>>5820893
As unbelievable as it seems, not actually a samefag. I posted the sage, but not the reply.

Anyways not saging because I also missed WW's last story telling thread.

>>5820985
Goddamnit BvES, you haven't said anything I didn't already know and you ignored the "post in relevant board" message. I can't believe it but I appear to have accidentally trolled you. Or something.

Goddamnit.

>>5820980

Both empires worked on a fuedal system, so the minor nobility in charge of systems far from the capitols did the brunt of the fighting with their private armies. Soon they ran out of materials and needed resupply. I supplied small arms to both sides, preventing sudden decisive victories, and instead reducing mighty armies to trench warfare. Once both sides couldn't pay me I would nuke the warzone and strip mine it. When the collective empires would send forces after hearing about a victory or defeat they would find a barren world, hence the Operation Financial Unicron. The players were doing their best to stop the war, and had heard rumors of an arms dealer supplying both sides, so they started looking for me. THey finally had caught me red handed, but I had already designed a diversion to make them powerless to stop me. MY timing was excellent, and the events transpired just as they were trying to capture me and take me in.

>>5820985
>for a standard of care that is very nearly the worst amongst them.
Hey, that's not true.
Rich people, or people with really good insurance, have awesome care. And America has always been about "fuck everyone else, WOO RICH PEOPLE".

>>5820985
The republicans are frothing so hard because no matter WHAT gets passed, if ANY bill passes, they lose. There hasn't been a single country in the world who got "nationalized health care", even though that's not what this is yet, and then gave it up.

>>5820756
I guess you thought my copypasta had trollan potential, OP?

For reference, it's from a NYT article explaining how health reform happened in various other countries, such as France and Britain. It's written by a well-known surgeon.

>>5820985
>No, I am not a socialist.
Anyone who disagrees with me is a socialist.

>>5820784
This is the subtlest troll in the thread.

>>5821059
>>5820985

Quit yer bitching, there are non Americans here who don't give two shits about health care reform. Take that shit to /fit/

>>5821096
I'm not sure if /fit/ would be the proper board, but hey who gives a shit, story time!

>>5821096
Indeed, I for one do not give a shit, and would rather here more about your BBEG.

Where on earth do you play all of these great sounding games?

WW this is why you shouldn't tell stories in trollbait threads

>>5821055

The armor I wore when I murdered the prince was made in my homeworld, a fairly powerful neutral empire, and had an integral recording unit. I sent the video to the king of the vampires to prove his empire's innocence. He showed it to the other empire and they both agreed to send a punitive fleet to my homeland to demand an explanation. I had sold them the flagship of their fleet, and had total control over it. As soon as my home world sent a diplomat, I had the flagship open fire and annihilate it. Then when my homeworld's fleet returned fire I made the flagship suffer a catastrophic mishap that resulted in it blowing up before it could send out a warning.

ALso, the guy who was playing the prince rolled up a new players who was the cousin of the prince. ANd while travelling to avenge his brother's death fell in love with the vampire chick. Cliche, I know. but plot relevant.

When the PCs had me in custody, they were immediately ordered to release me, and head to the capitol, as my homeworld's fleet attacked. THey let me go because no one knew my true nationality. I became the sole arms dealer for the two empires, special economic and social privledges, control over several noble houses, and was given control over the party. THey were used to heroics and adventure, so I had them rough up nobles and shake them down when they owed me money. I wasn't having them rob the rich, I was having them brutalize people reduced to scavenging to survive. I assumed they were doing their job, but in reality they were just stealing from my treasury and claiming it was the money owed. They did a good job of hiding their tracks so I assumed the money lost was just graft or thieves, so I didn't pay any attention to it. I was still making a fortune.

>>5821242
This is absolutely glorious.

But I hope you sent them into a sun when you found out they were doublecrossing you.

>>5820980
>war were declared

Also, FUCK YEAH STORY TIME!

>>5821242

Sooner or later I realized that the party wasn't dying like they were supposed to, so I managed to convince the nobility that they should go to the front line, where they could lend their talents to those in greatest need. After assuring them that they would be safe and their location would be kept secret from the enemy they relented, as desperate times call for desperate measures. I sold off the remainder of my arsenal (minus the nukes), switched to a new identity by faking my death and went back to my homeland and gave them the location of the heroes. I even volunteered to lead the strike force to capture them. I killed the healer and pinned the rest of party down with my sniper rifle, a la Full Metal Jacket, by shooting the legs out of the prince's cousin. The party surrendered when it was made apparent that they were surrounded and the cousin would die without medical attention. The rest of the party were taken capture, and I took the wounded man to be healed.

My government used the princess and her entourage as a bargaining chip to end the war. They received massive reparations and a lot of territory. I was lauded as a hero. I was going to keep the cousin to control the princess, but the smug bastard spit in my face and told me that he was responsible for all the thefts. I drugged him up and made him confess to murdering his own cousin to start a war so he could take the vampire princess as a war trophy. Then, with the magic of special effects, I made it appear like he blew his brains out. Everyone was outraged at him, including the vampire. I made sure that when he was healthy he was able to watch some recorded news programs so he could see how much he was healthy.


Then I peeled all the skin of his face with nothing more then the gauntlets of my power armor, recording the whole thing.

>>5821307

see

>>5821396

>>5821396
Evilliciouse! How'd you get him to confess? Special effects?

>Then I peeled all the skin of his face with nothing more then the gauntlets of my power armor, recording the whole thing.

>>5821396

Now I had more money then God, I was a beloved hero and the noble was a disfigured shell of his former self. When the party found him he was a desperate addict. They took him in, but he hid his identity, as the vampire was royally pissed at him for killing her beloved. Surprise, surprise the vampire fell in love with him and she took him back in, she even added in the cliche "Everyone I love gets hurt, I don't know If I can open myself up to you." The party Dawwwed and when I heard about it I scoffed in contempt, as any good villain should.

I got bit by the ambition bug though, and decided it was time to be king. I used my vast fortune to by a massive private army, a new fleet and the factories needed to supply it. I hired amongst my own people, amongst whom I was beloved. I also was able to convince the government to lend me a thousand or so of their most hardened psychopaths, for "rehabilitation."

>>5821485

Mind altering drugs, and my lackey who you'll find out about later.

>>5821396

>>5821485
I love how /tg/ is basically that super-villain convention from the one episode every cartoon had, comparing notes

>>5821503

The two empires were having trouble keeping the outer territories and colonies under control. The party went out to try and unite them, while I sent out my psychopathic death squads to spread discord and terror. Some of them were willing to pledge allegiance to me in exchange for safety. The others were killed, not bombed from orbit though, I went down to the surface with my men and ensured that every man, woman and child who opposed were used to paint the walls. When the heroes came to the planets they would find abattoirs with no sign of who attacked them. I used the territories that folded as a staging ground, and launched an attack on the two battered kingdoms.

>>5821567
Double Dubya, you are the man. You are the epitome of the roleplayer all of us want and hope to one day be, but know we never will be.

I applaud you, WW, for the sheer fucking awesome of your villainy. Playing both sides against one another as the middle maneuvers for a double-backstab and a quick grab for the crown!

I hope at night that you make these stories up, that no one could possibly have so much fun with a RPG. But in my heart of hearts I know that even if you are you're doing a better job of it than anyone else ever will ;_;

>>5821396
Glorious...

>>5821567

I was rapidly consuming territory, and pretty soon I had a nice little enclave for myself and 3 billion loyal citizens, with another 17 billion in re education camps. The psychopathic death squads provided base security for the camps, so when someone escaped, they would be made an example of. The kind of example that looks like someone put an m80 in a can of spaghetti-Os and screams the whole time.

The party raised their own army, and started to fight back. They weren't the best tacticians in the world so I was regularly able to out fox them and send them back home to lick their wounds. When they finally managed to liberate some of the camps, the death squads would liquidate the camps. All in all a third of the people were re educated, a third were freed and the other third weren't so lucky. I still had a dozen planets under my control, so I started to get more aggressive to dissuade any other acts against me. The two empires had large armies, but they were staying on the defensive. The player's fleet and army were stationed on the vampire homeworld. I was tired of the attacks so I decided that a little scorched earth would be good for my cause, so I mustered a fleet and headed for their home territory.

keep going. . .

>>vampire homeworld

This idea just sounds so funny.

>>5821680

My fleet battered their way to the vampire home world and started to nuke the cities from orbit. The party had managed to get the vampire fleet to attack, and finally out a plan together. It was a creed esque plot of tactical genius. My fleet was disengaging when they managed to board my flagship. The party fought their way to the deck, but I still had a trick or two up my sleeve. My lackey who assisted with the confession was with me, and he was a gifted telepath.

The vampire was ready to kill me, when I revealed the faceless man's identity. Before he could stammer out an excuse she went berserk with a little telepathic push and killed him in a manner that would have made one of my death squads proud.

I decided it was time to gloat, before any of you bring up the evil overlord list, there is nothing more enjoyable for a villain to do then lord your superiority over a defeated hero. I showed her the video I took of the noble waking up and me explaining my deception to him, before peeling off his face. I was hoping that the telepath would assist and make her go catatonic with sorrow. What I didn't realize was that the telepath had scurried off to save his own hide. I leaned down and whispered into her ear "now I've killed both of you lovers" I grabbed my gun and got ready to tangle with the rest of the party. The vampire went berserkd punched me so hard she was able to grab my spine. With one hand on my spine she used her other to grab one of my combat knives and tear through the armor and stab me until I was a crippled pile of red meat. She went down to ask me what my last words word were. The next five words saved my life.

"It wont bring them back"

>>5821842
So. . .you were Eldrad?

>>5821842
oh man, mistake #1.

NEVER get close to the good guys without a contingency plan.

>>5821842

She dropped me to the floor and the party left, reasoning that one more body wouldn't help anyone. I was barely alive and ordered my fleet to return. The party retired to spend their time rebuilding and reuniting the empires. Their next party is going to be the next generation of heroes, some of whom will be the children of their old players. I had a new body built. Instead of getting something small and humanoid I had my brain put into the equivalent of metal gear rex, so come spring time those bastards will have a big surprise should they decide to oppose me.

You are a magnificent bastard of epic proportions. I applaud.

Ok, now we need to cut out the WW posts and put them in one coherent set. I'd love to save this but the troll posts sully the WW goodness.

>>5821880

I couldn't help it, It's just so fun. Following the evil overlord list to the letter lacks panache.

>>5821907

>>5821880

Villains would be boring if they didn't make at least one or two mistakes.

>>5821907

Just to be an even bigger dickhole you should have just turned yourself into some kind of hivemind creature, like in Dead Space, only without a faggy little relic being capable of putting you to sleep.

Easiest way to gain a new nation; have your followers all be reanimated corpse shriekers turning other people into reanimated corpse shriekers.

archive this shit nao

>>5821991

I have a few months to plot, and none of the players go on /tg/ so I'm open to suggestions, as my brain can be moved from body to body.

>>5822019
What system are you guys playing? (if that matters)
And maybe a bit on what can be found in the setting? (telepath power levels, aliens etc)

>>5822019

Either set yourself up in multiple robotic bodies, with a copy of your consciousness in each one but still linked together to allow yourself the ability to do up to 10 different operations at once, or put a copy of your consciousness in a hive-mind deal and have the whole Dead Space thing go on in the middle of one of the nation's space.

Imagine how fucked they'd be if a hive mind suddenly planted itself at the edge of their space and started killing/turning billions of their citizens. It'd be like undead tyranids.

>>5821907
Wonderful!

May I enquire what system you use? ORE, FATE or some diceless?

>>5821958
true...

At least you got that las dig in.

ARCHIVE FOR THE ARCHIVE GOD!

>>5822019
Become the Tyranids
advicedog.jpg
Devour the Galaxy!

>>5821991
>>5822037

If you follow this guy's "Dead Space" advice, you need to make sure to stay the fuck away from ship technicians.

OP here, I'm amazed at how simple it is to troll you fags.

Plagues.
MAKE THEM.

>>5822033
>>5822041

we were using a very overhauled version of dark heresy. New races were added in and the classes were renamed and revamped. I was a heavily modified guard with the leadership path mostly filled out.

Machine God it is!
Although careful that you don't make anything with the potential to destroy you that'd break free and force you to join forces with your enemies in order to prevent an even worse fate.
Pff yeah like thats gonna happen...still we should cancel the super soldiers for now.

>>5822087

If you're the OP, how was all that cancer chick sex?

>>5822101

Shit, I should do the terminator thing. If I use a bunch of infiltrator units and don't indulge in time travel I should be unstoppable.

>>5822087

Hey, read the thread.

You missed the part where we weren't trolled at all and instead listened to WW's tale of being the best BBEG evar.

>>5822161
Become Computer Overmind
>adviceparanoia.jpg
Shoot TREASON!

>>5822161
your telepathy bugged out, he should pay for his cowardice in a way that he's never able to leave your side again.

Entrap his body inside your new metallic shell.

DO THE DOOM, WW.

Robots with copies of your mind in them, each becomes less take-charge when close to each other to prevent infighting (and 'yeeeessssssss maaaaasterrrrrrrr' when gathered into proximity with the original), and even if they kill the 'real you,' one will be promoted to leader, so the whole cycle starts again.

>>5822019
Capture one of the PCs, lobotomize them, and implant your brain into their body.

Infiltrate the party and corrode morale. When the final battle starts (you mecha-body will be on autopilot) stab them all in the back.

/r/ing archive.
this is awesome.

>>5822212
Read "I have no mouth yet I must scream"
take notes

>>5822218
I. SUPPORT. THAT. IDEA.

>>5822212
>>5822218

I've got it, I'll integrate my brain in a huge super computer, then bury that in a bunker ten miles below the surface. Then I'll copy myself a bunch of times, and put the copies in metal gears, and I will designate a leader amongst them who will have the telepath integrated into his shell.

THat way the generals of my armies, instead of being small and easily assassinated, will be giant nuclear artillery platforms.

Any of my men who show suitable initiative will be rewarded by having the best parts of their intellects merged with one of my copies, and have a new robo brain installed into their mortal bodies, so no one will be the wiser. It will also make my higher officers utterly uncorrectable, as they will be networked with the other copies and can upload themselves into a new body and destroy the old bodies.

Plus I can personally hijack a soldier so I can put a more personal touch to torturing my enemies.

>>5822307
Also need some sort of fail safe for any of them getting too ambitious, one that can't be activated by the party. Mainly worried about the entrapped telepath trying to bring you down in a way to end his imprisonment.

>>5822307

>THat way the generals of my armies, instead of being small and easily assassinated, will be giant nuclear artillery platforms.

YES.

>>5822270
YOU WOULD, FAGGOT!

>>5822307

Sounds great!

>>5822307
See to it that you bury yourself on the MOON of your industrial forge world or even farther so when they finally manage to blow it up you can be all lol no, alternatively dig a tunnel system into the aforementioned inconspicuous rock, reveal death star later.

>>5822307
Never copy yourself, it's the surest way to fragment the empire. Become the hivemind.

I propose that you do the Cortex Command. Your main body can still be Metal Gear Rex, but you should be able to remote control host servitors via telepathic technology - or a telepath hive-slaved to your brain.

WW, you are an excellent trader and a magnificent bastard. Might I suggest becoming...Unbound? One of your bodies might as well be a colossal spaceship of massive power, with the ability to create other spaceships. Continue your trading role, to amass cash and possibly set some truly long-visioned plans in motion. The other guys are generational; you're presumably immortal, you've got TIME, now.

A colossal mecha is a great planetside battle frame. Consider a fighter-like vehicle for air combat, however. And remember, in air and space, your acceleration tolerance isn't limited by organic issues like G-LOC, but by issues like when you stall out, the planet's atmosphere, or structural failure of your vehicle. You should have immense superiority in a dogfight in space or an atmosphere. Especially space. I recommend, either on your main ship you control, or on a fighter or other smaller-scale space vehicle, you laod up on the best thrust to mass ratio you can get. Pile on the Gs, get as close to C you can, as fast as you can. If you're a rat bastard, don't care about the crew suffering when you suddenly accelerate at a hundred gravities. If you're not, give them some way to survive, be it stasis pods or inertial nullification. Move FAST, because you can. Inertialess drive-fields would make this irrelevant, but if you still need conventional thrust, remember that you can have an edge by moving faster than the opposition expects.

>>5822385
and house your brain in a smaller ship inside the big ship, so that if shit ever goes down you can still get away

Defend the surface of your home planet with Motherwill.

>>5822370

Don't sacrifice your mobility. A truly evil BBEG needs to be able to get away when the party nodoubt eventually storms your bunker that way he can taunt them FOREVER.

How bout you build your fortress as a giant mass accelerator so that if you do get killed as your final act you fire yourself, brain, computer and all as a giant world destroying bullet. Leave the party alive and provide a large screen for them to watch their world die. Provide posthumous popcorn as a final twist.

BECOME NIHILISTIC & INSANE
kefka.jpg
TAUNT MORTALS

>>5822385
As an addendum, and playing off the hivemind idea, but still borrowing from Homeworld, go organic. Upload yourself into a genetically-modified biological computer/neural net. Develop a way to make this stuff infectious, so it'll break down and consume anything it touches to self-replicate. And fuse itself to starships. Make infection weapons. JOIN US!

>>5822427
If you go the techno-virus route, stay the fuck away from miners.

>>5822385

That's a great idea, forget the underground bunker. My main body will be a massive spaceship/forge. I will start to phase out the fleshed members of my armed forces until they are nothing but an army of perfect machines.

As for the copies, they are copies of me and my motivation is profit and maintaining power. Since a machine has no need for luxury, just the single minded urge for power and profit, I shouldn't see too much dissension in the ranks. If I do, my primary brain can always just reformat the defective unit remotely.

>>5822427

I don't think I have the tech to do that, but a good idea none the less.

>>5822469
Don't phase them out - modify them. MAKE them machines, in a gruesome way. Don't forget that you're evil.

>>5822469
There's also, technically, no reason a machine that thinks like you would want to rebel against you. Its power and profit is YOUR power and profit. It has no ambition but your very own. Technically, a machine would have no personal ambition. And evne if it did, hopefully the logic of staying within its current system would be greater than rebelling. Rebel, and it's Self versus the rest of the collective. Stay, and Self may gain some amount of personal dispensation, while furthering the collective goals, which happens to also further its own anyway.

It's a funny thing, but despite the scifi trope of machines always gaining sentience and rebelling against their creators, there is absolutely no reason they should. A machine can only do what it is programmed to. So, if you program it to remain loyal, it will remain loyal.

>>5822529

But that's superfluous and a waste of resources. Don't be NEEDLESSLY evil.

>>5822529
The methods can be gruesome to outsiders, but be sure that "ascendance" is a highly sought after honor, or perhaps even a religious goal.

>>5822529

And sacrifice my good standing with my homeland? I need a place to fall back to after all.

>>5822532
Still, the consciousness copies should have a killswitch they're unaware of. Make it an integral part of their system that would shut them down permanently if tampered with.

>>5822529
'Tis no evil to make them closer to the divine vision of the Builder, free from the horrors of flesh. Let them stand closer to the right hand of Karras... and the Builder.

>>5822469
Sooo you're planning to copy your own mind into every sentient mind in the universe and let them compete for power so no matter what happens you wind up winning.
dude.
DUDE!
You can be SEVERAL machine gods. Each with their own agenda ostensibly working together but trying out preform and assimilate each other.

Create a god cult, with your kingdom worshiping you as an everliving godking. Inspire fanatical loyalty amongst your populace like in stalinist russia or imperial japan. Also have lots of statues of yourself.

Hollow out one of the Nuked planets, build a clone factory.
Make a clone hivemind so everytime they think they've killed you, theres another 3,000,000 produced every minute.
Then remove brains from clones to put in giant metal gear robots.
Also fake being insane, have no sense of self presevation (Like climbing into a mech suit in a metal ball and firing yourself from orbit), so they're not sure what you're going to do next and will underestimate the 'crazy villian' when it's just that you don't really care about 1 body when you have about a trillion more.
Also, make sure that when the clones die, the body disappears and never let one die from a direct hit, always make sure they fall off a cliff or are crushed by a collapsing base or something, so they don't get suspicious of the 'Hey. There are like, 12 of them we already stabbed...WTF?'
Oh, and of course try and research some way to make a material that can resist the heat of a sun. Then build your main evil base in the sun of the solar system their home planet is in, they destroy it, sun collapses kiling their home worlds.

>>5822576

Competition does lead to innovation and more efficiency. Perhaps I will allow some freedom in my copies.

>>5822564
Do everything possible to still be a good and upstanding citizen in your home-country. Obey laws religiously, or make certain there are no reliable witnesses.

If all else, fails, and the sparkly princess' sparkly descendants to get you, run away home; hide behind law, be unjustly assaulted national hero, and don't get extradited.
Also, I'm begging you, where is the Dark Heresy game you mentioned? Can I join? Failing that, can I watch?

>>5822469
keep with the idea of merging your finest generals into your copies.

Individuality has its benefits.

Look at Starcraft's Zerg.
There is the overmind, rule of all, distinct personality and the FINAL say in any matter.
Then there are cerebrates, unique individuals, bent to the will of the overmind, but allowed independent thought to nurture competition and ingenuity.

>>5822613
Encourage individuality, ideas, and drive. Their personality starts off as yours but will deviate over time based on experiences. It's hard to want to rebel against your boss when he's you, and actively suggesting you go start your own faction so you can become equals.

>>5822613
... famous last words.

>>5822564
One better on the phase out/Remodel thing.
Keep all the organics, just very quietly coerce them into having modifications to make them better soldiers.
Like metal arms which can punch through walls, bodily functions run off batteries and even just being encased in iron man like suits of war armour with weapons that make dreadnoughts look like pea shooters.
Of course, all of this tech can easily be shut off/destroyed/controlled by the main computer, any dissenters are found to have killed themselves/got caught in live fire training after popping up at just the wrong moment/sent on dangerous missions and don't come back.
That way you get the clever thinking of organics mixed with the obedience of robots.

>>5822644

we're full up, and it's starting in 12 minutes. If you desperately want to watch, email me and I will tell you where we are.

>>5822694
I wish to watch, what is your email?

>>5822701

buried in the suptg archives

>>5822469
army of perfect machines is a silly idea. Maybe an upward hierarchy of increasingly mechanical soldiery, with the most elite being the most machine. But keeping the lower ranks mortal and fleshy, so you can infuse them with the propaganda that godkings usually get. Remember, modern south korea may have good tech and discipline but north korean soldiers would likely steamroll them due to their willingness to fight and die for their godking (Kim Jong Il)

>>5822709
can't find it dude.

you keep saying "it's in the Kjellmir" in the archive.

I tried seaching for Kjellmir, but no dice.

>>5822613
Convince the PCs that you've stored your mind in a bunker in some godforsaken planet, build said bunker to look purposefully ominous and fit their expectations of the final dungeon. The last room is an office with a big screen cool beverages and snacks, and a clone with a goatee and a black top hat.
broadcast this
>>5822424
engage self-destruct

>>5822743

Kender hate thread, there is no thread with Kjellmir in the name or anything.

>>5822777
found it! thanks!

>>5822715
You can't steamroll anything if the enemy has air superiority and doesn't completely suck at holding positions. Also, NKs troop morale might break down as soon as they recognise this.

Well, my dark heresy game is starting up. I'll catch you crackers later

Cone army idea would be quite good.
If you really want to fuck with everyone make sure that 99.98% of your army are infact clones of you, then make sure removing the masks from the dead takes the face off.
They attack you on your ship, everyone takes their masks off and they'll have to shoot every soldier on the ship to kill you.

>>5822808
Don't underestimate fanatics. Remember how far the japanese were willing to go for their godking.

Oh! If you really want to Fuck with the players, when you actually start an empire, make it Utopian in everyway, I don't mean in the usual 'Villanous Utopia with a dark secret that makes it alright to destroy it' way, I mean 120% bonified utopia, everyone is happy, robots doing all the work and jolly sea urchins dance routinely in the streets with german nuns while doing big dance numbers to brighten everyones day.
Then when you get a chance, ask them "Do you really have the right to ruin the lives of countless people simply for your own?"
That'll be a really bastardly thing to do.

>>5821842

"it won't bring them back"

Lawful Stupid strikes again. I guess Darth Helmet had it right.

>>5822911
>Sea Urchins dance in the street.

Fuck yeah!

WW, if this thread is still here when you get back and you're still looking for suggestions, it might help to give us a bit more information about the world's background and status quo. For example, how powerful/influential is your empire compared to the two others, what the main party's and your long term goals are. Stuff like that.

>>5822911
Me and my fellow players would destroy that as casually as we blow up Greater SkullFuckia. Hell I don't think we'd even register it as being different.

>>5821842
.. Wow. When will the good guys learn? When the evil guy is about to die and is at your arm's length, kill him.. And kill him hard. Quarter him, rip out his brain and stamp it to paste, chop up the body and burn it till they're is only cinders left, then send the dust particles off into space into a pod and NUKE IT! And that is if your in a hurry.

>>5823212

They wanted me to suffer in my last moments.

Dh game is taking a while to start up so I;m monitoring this thread..

>>5823299
and yet you ended up surviving to kill them and their children.

>>5823299
So what are they players doing these days in your DH game, then?

>>5823345

getting ready to play, but they are slow

>>5823212
You forget though, 45% of good guys are all butterflies and joy and will take any excuse to avoid killing someone because they're spineless cowards without the sacks to do what is needed and see the best in even the BBEG, refusing to belive that anyone is evil enough to justify killing.
Then 9% are sociopaths who have just managed to direct their barely restrained violence towards something constructive.
30% are people who have had something fucked up happen to them and decided that no one else should ever have to go through that again, they'll hang on until the end like a bulldog on a postmans scrotum but most have so much baggage it stops them really flying to the heights of heroics.
2.5% are in it for glory and publicity or gold and whores. Totally selfish reasons and will give up as soon as it gets too tough to retire to their castle by the sea with their new wife and kids.
2.5% are low down mean fuckers who are good, but not nice and grow into those old grizzly asshole types that always become recluses and exiles who don't care what others think and do what needs to be done.
And the final 1% are actual heroes with just the right amount of all of the above, but might slip off at any moment into another category.
Meanwhile villians are just 100% assorted sweets, so you get more sucesses and don't really have to balance as they can do whatever they want.
Prequistist for beng a hero and a villian are totally different, Now villians fighitng villians is fun to see, watching them try to out dick each other is magnificent.

>>5823299
. . . . *face palm* Could you please do me a big favor? Kill them.. Kill them haaaaaaaard. And when they're about to die, and your gloating, can you say something like "Perhaps, I'll just leave you like this to suffer.." wait a few moments "Nah!" then waste them?

>>5820910
>>5820916

Epic.

>>5823388

They will be ....

Integrated.

>>5823422
A sound plan, but I'm just saying, its a safer option that you just vaporize the bastards. I mean, think about it, if you integrate them, they're probably is a minimal, very slight chance, that they still may main their conscious mind.. And from there, the dominoes shall fall and your throne will be toppled and destroyed. No matter how fool proof a plan is, luck will always find a way to piss you off.

>>5823466

That's what the kill switches are for.

>>5823480
Famous last words.

No need to integrate the heroes. Hollow out their craniums and remotely control them, that way you'll have influence in their respective homeworlds. Take their minds and plant them in immobile bodies that aren't connected to any network. Call it your gift of immortality to them.

>>5823535

That's the plan, although the original heroes will suffer a far worse fate.

>>5823545
.. Your going to make them listen to Broken Cyde over and over?

all the ideas in this thread were good, become a robo god, become several robo gods, clone army, giant mass acellerator shoots you as a bullit to destroy a planet, moon base reveals death star,
this is really great stuff.
the bit i would add would be to have your death squad guys terrorize the other players constantly like they leave a room and the hallway is full of armored nut-balls ready to kick they asses, they wake up in the inn and crazy armored ninjas punch them in the face, they meet in a dark ally and suddenly sniper fire, and always let them know that you could kill them at any time, leave them so afraid of you that they never try to confront you.
i just wanted to add that.

>>5824329
Excuse my French, but nigga you hairy.

>>5824329
wrong pic
i shaved by the way

>>5824357
Ah, I see. You are a handsome young black man.

Digging the t-shirt.

>>5824371
female spotted!
purge! PURGE!

>>5824371
why thank you.
>>5824380
leave it to me.

>>5824380
Female?! Where?!

>>5824380
It's /tg/ that's a gay man or a tranny

>>5824407
We're always losing girls to black guys.

>>5824407
>>5824357
>>5824329
Godfuckingdammit.. are we going to have a whole board of Golden Neckbeard imitators now?

>>5824433

I don't cotten to facefags

>>5824433
naw man, he just started posting pictures in a thread about claws, because he happened to have a rather large claw he wanted to show us.
dunno why he kept the trip.

>>5824425
No wimminz on the intranet, rmember?

Also, I can't get it out of my head that all fa/tg/uys look like this
>>5824407
now.

>>5824433
>Golden Neckbeard imitators
wat?

>>5824433
He is doing us the favor of killing the novelty

>>5824457
Except he's using pictures with every goddamned post now... with pretty much the exact same poses as Golden Neckbeard.

>>5824475
The novelty was already dead after the first time GN did it. This is just going to inspire more people on /tg/ to do it.. and soon we're going to have every thread on the front page catering to a new facefag.

>>5824482
that's the joke.jpg

>>5824457
i got the claw rite here
>>5824462
>Also, I can't get it out of my head that all fa/tg/uys look like this now.
my apologies.

>look no pic
im sorry, may i ask about this golden neckbeard person to whom you are refrencing.

>>5824530
...you're kidding. You know not of the Golden Neckbeard?

>>5824448
how has your game gone?

>>5824587
no for he is the Obsidian Weeaboo

>>5824530
this guy who also posts as you do.
other than that hes just a regular guy with a trip.

>>5824598
wow...I can't believe you saved that pic...you must be a absolute faggot. Or a woman with bad taste...

>>5824598
AH. I have indeed seen the face before though i admit to ignorance of his position as an honored trip user.
nor did i intend to derail this glorious thread, let us continue to offer whatever bits of knowlege we may have on the art of being an evil overlord to the great spinner of tales. I was there for the first thread and the tale of Keldjmer (spl?) bloodskull and Optimus prime, and i am horrorfied that i may have ofended his bardship in any way.

>>5824591

It's going allright, soon the PCs will face....DANGER!

As i am desperate to get back in the good graces of uncle WW i feel as though I should inform him that i am in fact capable of minor feats of drawfagotry.

Would you like a picture sir.

>>5824966

Sorry, but around 8s I get Irate.

>>5824986
whats an 8?

>>5824618
You seem to be suggesting that if he were a faggot, he would have good taste.

I think faggots would have something to say about that.

>>5824618
was planning on using it as a reaction image on /v/
im sure they love to have a shitstorm over a beard such as his.

>>5824966
>>5824598
>>5824448
>>5824433
To be fair, this facefag is far superior to Golden Neckbeard in the fact that he wears a shirt, the shirt is a power rangers shirt, and he looks vaguely like Michael from Lost.

>>5825001
>Power Rangers
>LOST
>Superior

Ehhhh...

>>5824992

If you figure it out you'll have earned my respect, but you will in all likelihood lose all respect for me.

>>5825016
Look, it's easy to be far superior to a bald, pasty, nekkid fat guy.

if it were something racist im sure i would have hard it by now since i live in Charleston South Carolina. my mom is black and my dad is white, hence my middle toned skin and two toned lips. my grand parents have the stars and bars flyin in their yard and my cousins who are 100% white some of them seem to have racist tendencies but its all good man!
A guy like you Deserves to have slaves of his own.

>>5825075
>mom is black and my dad is white
That's a rare one.

from now on im callin you boss

>>5825075

I am the descendant of slave owners.

What color is an 8 ball?

Now you all get it.

If any of you claim to have made up around 8s I get Irate I will hunt you down.

>>5825086
>What color is an 8 ball?
You mean, like, of cocaine?

>>5825086
>descendant of slave owners.
SEE! you and i were meant for each other!
i'll tap-dance and serve you beer and sandwiches and you just do your thing you awesome guy.

>>5825075
Savannah fag here.

Suck our superior port's cock.

>>5825084
Delicious ebony women are hard to come by.

>>5825099

Yes, I'm mocking a black guy by saying he looks like the color of cocaine.

>>5825110

If you want to do some draw fagging there's always Kjellmir and the Paladin.

>>5825149
dude that's some pretty shit cocaine you have there, i wouldn't snort it if i were you, sounds tainted

Americans in not understanding what socialism is shocker

I am descended from a long line of slave runners. They used to do this round trip between England the Carribean and the the colonies. While I am ashamed of their actions, I am not responsible for it. So fuck off with your reparations bullshit niggers

>>5825149
I will get rite on it. bu i am not as fast as all the other drawfags and i want this to be good so this could take a few days. (educated in South Carolina public schools) see you then.

>>5825190

See ya.

>>5825206
you don't seem very irate.

>>5825190
Typical black, blaming public schools for their life's failings.

>>5825114
It's funny, because the ONE time I saw a black girl and white guy together in real life, the black chick was huge and the white guy was a stick.

>>5825255
>South Carolina public schools
>South Carolina
>miss USA pageant

Hey, any of you guys remember Sameo and his paladin?

>>5825329
FUCK YOU MAN

Now I can't believe any of WW's shit

Be like Omnius in the Dune retroactive novels (Butlerian Jihad through Battle of Corrin) - a computer Overlord that has a copy on every world and recieves regular updates from an update ship. Just a tiny, single-man vessel, nothing that LOOKS scary... but it synchronizes all the computer overminds so that they all know what each individual one knows.

Just make sure they don't melt the entire surface of your home planet with nuclear fire and then intercept your update ship...

>>5825329
I do. Manly tears.

>>5825329

Who's Sameo?

>>5825329

And how am I somehow discredited by him?

Uncle WW, make false fortresses loaded with no traps and only sorrow at the end, fill them with a low level maintenance crew and have the place filled with all kinds of delicious physchological rape and bonus points if you make it seem to single out one hero. Destroy them by weakening most of the heroes to the point where the party might not be able to trust or rely on them, make it so none of them wish to follow your trail in fear of turning into one of their comrades. the make them feel despair while making them look like heroes back on their homeworld with propaganda so the pressure just mounts on the heroes until they cave in, then you can come down for the great victory and rub it into their broken minds why you came to power and why you are the Alpha and the Omega.

>>5825447
In the early ages of /tg/, when nerd irritation was working itself up to nerd rage and meat bread was merely an idea rising in the oven, the namefag Sameo came and told a story of a paladin done right, a paladin who, despite a faggy party and horrigood rolls managed to stem the tide of generic evil invasion at the cost of his own life.

Then he said "lol, didn't really happen."

And that was how nerd rage came to be on /tg/.

>>5825504
With nothing but traps*
Fucking hell I'm to tired to play villain.

>>5825505

Well, I give you my word that my shit is legit.

Of course, this is the internet, so my word means nothing.

>>5825520
I believe you, Uncle WW.

>>5822469
Well, one thing you could do is do something really cruel. Like, say, encode a download of your memory patterns and personality into the star that the PC homeworld revolves around. Whenever the star flares, it sends a copy of your mind out. Then put a ship in, extra cold, high above the plane of the ecliptic in their system, and put it so that it'll be in the path of one of those flares on a regular basis. Also try to suborn the enemy technology so that, with the proper command (one automatically issued upon your death), a hidden subroutine will activate and the next flare will result in a copy of yourself being loaded into some random system of theirs.

If you can manage to put yourself in all of their stars, even better. The point of this is to make it so that the only way the PCs can possibly defeat you for good is either to a) destroy the stars that their worlds depend on or b) abandon every star system they own to find one you haven't corrupted yet.

>>5822715
Fully mechanical is rather stupid. What you want to make is the perfect techno-organic being. For example, have organic-style muscles, but made from something like spider-silk. A skeletal structure made from carbon nanotubes. An electrochemical nervous system, but in a far more durable object than the human brain. Nanobots enabling the repair of any damage to the body, given enough raw material to transmute. And so on.

Basically, you've had 4 billion years of life experimenting with as many possible variations on the basic theme of "can keep itself running at least long enough to make more of itself" as it could. May as well take as much from that as you can first and then apply the material sciences to making the bits work better.

i hope this thread survives until tomarrow

Sage goes in every field.

>>5822613
>>5822335
>>5822307
So WW. Since you have a while before the next campaign arc, I'd like to recommend Kiln People by David Brin for research/inspiration.

>The novel takes place in a future in which people can create clay duplicates (called "dittos" or golems) of themselves. A ditto retains all of the archetype's memories up until the time of duplication. The duplicate lasts only about a day, and the original person (referred to in the book as an archie, from "archetype", or "rig", from "original") can then choose whether or not to upload the ditto's memories. Most dittos want to inload, so that their experience will be continuous with that of their archie. Most people use dittos to do their work, as they are affordable even for the poor. Many also use dittos to experience pleasure which could hurt a real person. Dittos come in many colors, which signify their quality and intended role. A cheap ditto suitable for housework is green, whereas a quality one for business is gray. Ebonies are highly specialized dittos that are good at intelligent data analysis; platinums are only used by the very rich, and closely resemble real people. Ivory dittos specialize in the reception of pleasure and sexual fulfillment. Other colors of ditto (such as purple, red, and yellow) exist, but are rarely mentioned.

It's a pretty cool exploration of how different people (and their fully self-aware copies) react to having their minds split apart and re-integrated many times. The main character only has 3 or 4 human-like copies running around, but there are examples of people seeking post-humanity by living hundreds of lives in parallel, skilled workers who copy into specialized animal-like bodies from large rats for espionage to dinosaur-lookin' monsters for superheavy labor, and "sports" stars who compete in squad based ditto death-matches and exist as tacit standing armies.

All kinds of idea fuel for an evil mastermind thinking about going multiple.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5820756
archived.