“Let your voices call, to the memory of mates lost, and eggs unhatched - unfertilized eggs and young just hatching - let your voices call upon our memory - and let our broadcast echo across the universe, that it may be remembered as the Dirge of the Avnari. We beg forgiveness, that we were not strong enough, we beg mercy on our souls, even as we fail. And as our home world should burn - let our people be…”

Looking up from an instrument, burned from the explosion across the deck, a young, just second-molted Avnari lifted his beak, dented from the concussion of the blast, and saw a strange light blinking across the half-broken deck. It was a weak light - barely was there power to make it function. Life support would run out in two hours - but this strange sight caught his attention. He absently flicked three claws across the panel, and a voice - grating, growling, mammilian, cut across the intercom.

“Yhoomanithyee ssssheeerp “Yaeeemhatho” Hyeeerh, Rrhehhsphhondhiiing” It came out - a rough sounding voice. But, this voice wasn’t one that came from the accursed Derjkot, nor was it from one of the seven other trade races that had once been friends and allies before cowardice and shame turned them and their backs. There was no anger, only sorrow, from the Avnari, to be turned from. But it was just - they had done the same for two others. It was now their turn. “Hweeh ssshaeel cuhooovherr hhyewww”

“What voice was that?” Came the startled cry of a companion - one who clutched a ritual blade and had been preparing to slice through a vein in their thigh. The blade dropped with a clatter - an echoing sound through the ship that turned all eyes upon the ensign. His hand shook, but he reached for the small response and communication button, and flicked it into reply mode. The sound came back in a small metallic whine, before clearing.

“This is the Avnari craft Chimera, of the Avnari Fleet, Designation X969 - we are in need of assistance, we have no power and the Derjkot are preparing to destroy our home world. Please, help us.” The panic in his voice was understandable - a destroyed home world was both a waste and tragedy, and it was an atrocity that few would respond to. It was not cowardice, it was simply pragmatic. Who could imagine the destruction of so many people for such a small and petty reason? A war for trade would end in maybe a hundred lost lives - not the sixty billion that had burned. “Please, help us!”

“Received.” The voice was clearer now - and the transmission came clearer - as though the source of broadcast was not so distant now. Indeed, a quick glance at the scientists station displayed massive power fluctuations coming from across the entirety of the field - and was no more than a hundred thousand kilometers out - a very close event. Looking to the viewport - as the screen wasn’t quite working - small specks of light began to materialize and rip open - first ten, then a hundred, then a thousand - exploding out like a lightshow from the once beautiful swamplands of the burnt world Haidarius.

What became a thousand specks of light burst forward - and a hundred thousand kilometers away it was as though the universe exploded - and ships blossomed in powerful beams of light and energy. Vessels, the black and brown marked war-ships, began to burn as this new presence made itself known and a surprisingly powerful sneak-attack ripped through the forces, carving them apart as a mountain would be shattered by a meteor. The weaponry of the planet breakers continued to charge - but it was messages of fear and pain that came from them. Who would dare attack the Empire of the Derjokt?

“Do not sing a dirge, Avnari. You will not pass today.” Came the voice again - mammalian once more - but it wasn’t the nature of a mammal to help another species. There were only four known species of mammals evolved enough even for space flight - and they were too embroiled in their own affairs to care. The ships became visible - brilliant shades of gold and red touching across the forefront of each ship - streaking past at incredible speeds as small fighters formed a ring around the crippled capital ship. Their weapons discharged death upon the planet-breakers, and small blooms of fire rippled off into space. “We will begin evacuation of your ship as soon as possible. Please, hang on.”

The battle was quick - impossibly quick by some standards. A sneak attack ripped through the celebrating forces and tore apart a full half before the rest could muster enough drive to flee to distant space - and even then it was an hour before a docking vessel could make contact with and against the side of the ship. The sealed hiss of the coupling walkways was heard, echoing through the security chamber as those surviving and injured waited to meet their, hopeful, saviors. The doors opened - and pale, bald creatures stepped out - bipedal mammals that lacked fur or tail, but for clumps atop some heads. They were not a a recognized species, but their manner was impeccable.

It was a mere twenty-four hours later and a trembling crew was given the chance to touch their home world again, and they quickly departed the small ships into the arms and wings of clan and family, to see mates and fledglings who had not yet had chance to leave their nest. It was a single rotation of the world and thirty ships stayed in orbit in a singular web of vigilant protection. And not a single word of communication had passed between the orbiting ships and the capital - those whom had not fallen upon blade in grief waited anxiously for any word.

looks good, I'm guessing the mammals are just two different human nations. keep it coming.

“Forgive the delay in formal communications, Chancellor.” The communication came early on the dawn of the thirty-first day. “We have been very busy working on getting a peace-treaty out of the fuzzy bastards. They simply would not quit fighting us until we had destroyed every last factory and interplanetary ship they had. It seems they had this silly idea that they had the right to exterminate everyone that they felt was not like them. Strange. Familiar.”

“Well. I’m sure the diplomats will be on their way within a few hours. I just wanted to say that you guys are safe now, and will probably be inducted into the Galaxia du Humanis - as a protected species, of course. We wouldn’t want our fine feathered friends going extinct, would we?”

“Oh. And thanks for buying a beer for an out of luck human thirty years ago, ‘Guile. I owe you one.”

>>5905869
Well, just finished it. :) I hope you like it.

>>5905879
HUMANITY! FUCK YEAH!

>>5905968
Glad someone got the reference.

>>5905972
How could I NOT!?

Also, what do the other mammalian species look like? I'm going to laugh if they're space furries.

>>5905994
Fuck furries.

Space bugs is where it's at.

>>5906012
>mammalian species
>space bugs

?

>>5906012
>fuck furries

ok, now what

>>5906035
Sarcasm.
>>5906046
Well, I could
write about exterminatus on the other mammilian species, but, I'm all 'Fuck yeah, humanity!'d out. So in consolation, a hot alien babe.

>>5906069
what is "exterminatus", it sounds pretty queer

>>5906083
Welcome to /tg/

>>5906083
any of a variety of remarkably unpleasant methods for killing every living thing on a planet. Genetically engineered viruses, death-star superlasers, nanobot swarms, planet-cracking superbombs, stellar converters, black hole generators, etc. The name comes from Warhammer 40K. It's the human imperium's standard operating procedure when encountering any race that isn't 'pure human' enough for their tastes.

>>5906193

haha really

that is nerdqueer as shit

>>5906204
>>5906083
Hahahaha

This is a pretty funny guy

>>5906083
>>5906204
>>5906208

My writefag senses are tingling. I do believe a samefag is detected.

>>5906220

no, >>5906208 is being ironic

also "writefag senses tingling" ew wtf

>>5906220
I'm >>5906208
No, I'm not the same guy. I was reminded of the way some of the Fighting Amphibians guys talk and it amused me.

>>5906220
I'm inclined to agree. By the by, excellent work on the story. Very well done. I'm hoping to see this tale expanded or continued. Keep up the good work.

>>5906249
Well, as standard, what did you like about it? What did you dislike about it?

Thank you for the comment. I was hoping a few /tg/'ers would like it. :)

>>5906263
It's generally awesome; the only thing I dislike is that there isn't MOAR.

>>5906263

Likes: Clearly alien society/culture. Could have mentioned biological diversity a bit more. I strongly dislike 'aliens' that are just humans with different color skin and a funny forehead, so thanks for making the aliens actually alien. Also, I'm a bit of a grammar nazi, and your command of the English language is impeccable. loved the details in their mourning dirge and society.

Dislikes: Only one, really. Too short. I could easily see this as a novel, and see myself enjoying reading it.

>>5906279
>>5906332

Well, just for you guys, I'll tackle it tomorrow on wordpad and see if I can make it into a short story, instead of a *tiny* story.

Thank you guys.

>>5906374
No, no. Thank you.

>>5906374

make sure to make fun of the "exterminatus" dorks if you would be so kind

>>5906387
Always. I'm trying to be legitimate as well as pulling away from every cliche I can find. Not that theya re bad, but, I don't want to be who I am, and tell my stories, not the same Guy meets alien. Alien is better than man. Man finds himself changed for the better.

Fuck no. Humanity is awesome. We are a plague, a mold, a virus - we don't stop until we chose too. You can use all the weapons and protection you want - we'll take your children and turn them into our image.

And we don't forget those who help us out when we are down on our luck - and those who help us will find the favor returned, be it a beer, a hundred dollars, or the entire human armada taking up orbit around your planet to make sure no one fucks with you again.

And woe be to our enemies. Because we won't stop until we free you of your misaligned beliefs. The universe can kiss humanities ass - we do what we want. Impossible is just a suggestion.

>>5906391
I might. :) I'll see what I can do.

>>5906507

While experimentation is necessary for development to spaceflight (and beyond) levels, I like to see humans as the space that develops faster because they keep throwing everything at the wall until something sticks.

>>5906528

Post-script: I also liked that one story where humans, after a decent scuffle and subsequent conquering of alien lizards, were expected to exterminate the species and take their planet, actually did neither, helped the lizards rebuild, and at the time of writing, some lizards (and humans) were undergoing gene therapy to be able to interbreed.

Kinda 'awwww.'

>>5906528
Humanity: "Impossible is merely a suggestion."

Alternatively;

Humanity: The only species to that realizes most solutions merely require more boom.

>>5906560

I don't deny that I was inspired to pick up writing after a year long haitus after reading some 'Fuck Yeah, Humanity!" stories.

I have another series of stories based around humanity as heroes. This other series has hit 4 parts already (read on http://jelethorim.storm-artists.net/ ) also features inner-species romance. Nothing graphic. I hope it's worthy of your time and reading! :)

>>5906566

>most solutions merely require more boom

Or as Orks. That works too.

"Oh god, that shouldn't work, it looks cobbled-together, it's gonna fall apart, they constantly infight, they war among themselves on a scale we haven't seen in ourselves for centuries, oh god, here they come, and they ask nicely if we have anything that ferments."

>>5906507
I like that. 'Impossible is just a suggestion'. I'm going to have to use that more often.

I always liked this one:
"Humanity is only good at one thing. Killing. We don't build very well, we can't flee very well, we can't defend ourselves very well, and we have no natural abilities for survival beyond curiosity and bloodlust. We don't even reproduce very well, but we mastered killing long ago. Every major advancement in human culture and technology has been for the express purpose of being better at killing things, whether it's each other or everything else. We may eventually figure out other uses for our killing tools, but it all starts with violence. Violence is who and what we are. We perfected it on ourselves before we took our first steps into space, and we never forgot. We restrain ourselves, we contain ourselves, and we chain ourselves, for the safety of our friends, family, and loved ones. Because once a human decides to kill something, nothing in this universe can stop him. We do not bend. we do not break. We are human. We are the harbingers of the Final Night. Rest well in the comfort of our friendship, or be scattered and forgotten like dust."

>>5906649
In the dark future, there is only fermented drinks.

...

Actually that doesn't sound so bad. Alcohal as a gift to humanity, in order to keep them on their good side. Humanity fighting wars in exchange for premium grade-A engine clea-err, uh, alcohal.

Hell, it worked for the scots.

And Irish.

And Native Americans.

And...

>>5906594
>Nothing graphic
BOOOOOOO

>>5906560
Heh, I liked that story, though the beginning was a bit derivative. The idea of our 'hat' actually being a condom though? Brilliant!

"It has been my experience, that Humanity is a wonderfully terrible species. They are a species who craves peace and a boring life, but will go crazy in monotony, to the point that they can get suicidal, depressive, or even catatonic if a routine is driven hard enough.

"They are a species of ambition, and they must have a chance to exercise this ambition. They are a species of infighting beasts, and they need a heirarchy, if only to lay the blame, and if only to feel better about themselves. At a young age they are encouraged to form a pecking order, but unlike the insect-caste systems of the Dra'Nar, they are mobile, and unlike the Pack-species, they are not murderous of those who fail expectations.

"Humanity is a friend to all living creatures. They will honor and respect the strangest traditions, even so far as to engage in the opening copulation with the Sissihiri. They will make accommodation to the Avnari - the flighty and air-brained creatures. And they will take each under an arm and smile - patiently. They are your friend and mean you no harm.

Until you hurt someone they care about. Then woe unto you and your people. For if they are great in their love, they are just as great in their hate. Woe unto you that earns the hate of humanity. Because the vacuum of the universe is far warmer than the hearts of the head of Galaxia du Humanis."

Dra'Nar Philosopher DuJaiden

>>5906706
I see nothing about condom hats. Merely humanity being awesome.

Is everyone else reading some other image?

>>5906781
Look at the last story; I'm just pointing out the obvious. D'aaaw? More like /d/'awwww- not like there's anything wrong with that.

>>5906781
Yeah, I musta missed that too.

I smell sots.

>>5906802
dammit I must be stupid, 'cause i'm not seeing anything.

>>5906898
>>5906803
>>5906781
...he married the bug alien. Had sex and whatnot, it can be supposed. That's what I meant by /d/'awww.

>>5906931
Sex with an alien is hot.

Condom hats? Not sure.

>>5906964
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PlanetOfHats

Is what I meant. Or did a joke go over my head again?

>>5906964
A "hat" is a species gimmick. Like vulcans hat is logic. Kligons hat is proud warrior race guy.

Humans hat in this case is fucking aliens.

>>5906931
Nothing about marrying? Just introductionary interspecies sex.. I fail to see your /d/

>>5907007
It can be supposed from the ring that he married the alien. And having sex with a giant bug-thing isn't /d/ for you?

...

You're a giant alien bug-thing, aren't you? OH MY GOD WE JUST MADE CONTACT.

WITH A FAPFIC*.

*Okay, maybe not to US, but who knows what turns giant alien bug things on.

>>5907003
>>5907006

Actually, in one of my short stories, the main character hooks up with this very bug like insect-alien thing, because he fell inlove with her. She's being pushed outside her caste, and only has him, because, damnit, it's wrong but she feels the same. So, yeah.

Humanity, We'll fuck anything.

>>5907037
Im sorry? You are attibuting a non-universal human thing to an alien.. Forgive me for not taking anything for granted. But I dont see you complainin about that whole vindicator/eldar thing beeing /d/

interspecies sex?
The Monster of the Prophecy by Clark Ashton Smith, original neckbeard.
http://www.eldritchdark.com/writings/short-stories/138/the-monster-of-the-prophecy

>>5907054
Because I did my complaining yonks ago. Though to be fair, I wasn't really complaining about that (just typing HERESY and such), and I'm not complaining now. /d/ isn't bad for you, you know.

>>5907118
Im sorry, id like to keep my corruption points as low as possible, staying out of /d/ and any relation to that helps in that endeavour.