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    33 KB Crazy Fucked up DM stories Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)01:26 No.5985194  
    Well I'll start this shit off,

    My normal gaming group consists of two girls and two guys with another girl doing the DMing, normally our roleplays are pretty tame but I knew for a fact that the DM was into the whole D&D monster rape thing. So I upped one day, "Why don't you make a single day outtake to do that?", she just smiled and shook her head.

    So four weeks later we get to her house, we usually play in her basement, the fuck why I don't know because she's living alone, anyhoo, we get there and she hands us character sheets that are not our own. The two girls get handed a pair of adventurers who are higher level then their current characters and we get a bunch of Minotaurs/Orcs etc converted to proper PC's. My mind was racing and then it hit me.. oh shit, she actually thought I was serious.

    Well needless to say, I was a bit stunned, but we decided to press on, we're roleplayers and thus we played, so a few hours into it, the two girls had been busy raiding a dungeon they trigger a trap, instead of a boulder or whatnot, a massive gas-explosion hits them. Causing uncontrollable Lust to go into their system, kinda like a female cat when she needs to get bred.

    That's where the DM tells us to come in, as a pair of Minotaurs, wanting to 'breed' these two women, I swear.. all we did was roll dice and the DM was talking about what we did. Was so awesome and.. I so got hard, the two girls got relatively bothered as well and after I talked to one of the girls over IM later that night she told me that had been the most awesomesauce thing ever.

    So now ever 2/3 weeks we have one day were we do this, it's pretty fun.

    Anymore stories?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)01:28 No.5985216
    That is failure on such a scale I don't have words to express it.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)01:28 No.5985230
    That's what you get for letting a woman DM, idiot.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)01:30 No.5985258
    Why is it a failure?

    To be honest, listening to a woman talk nasty stuff.. is fairly arousing to me.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)01:34 No.5985295
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)01:36 No.5985320
    It's a failure because everyone in the room is getting seriously turned on by this and yet no RL sex resulted.

    If at least one of these D&D orgies doesn't become a real orgy on its own, then man up and make it happen dammit!
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)01:40 No.5985359
    What >>5985320 said is so true it hurts. If this didn't turn into a sex-fest, then it's really failure on a massive scale.

    Then it's just ERPing.

    And ERPing is never okay.

    ERPing is never good.

    ERPing is never awesome.

    Remember this, children. D&D combat rules use the word combat for a reason.

    BARING ALL OF THAT, He wasn't even geek enough to point out the obvious failings of this trap that makes them horny, and the further bodily impossibilities of a Minotaur assaulting a human woman. It would be bad, there would be blood, and it would definatly not be dealing subdual damage.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)01:43 No.5985394
    I'm into monster rape but that... would be really, really awkward.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)01:56 No.5985547
    OH HO HO
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)01:57 No.5985567
    Well, ERPing can be okay, good, and even awesome, assuming that it leads to sex.

    But in this case it didn't. So your points remain valid.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)01:59 No.5985590
    OP, are fat chicks really better in bed?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:01 No.5985620
    i heard once that the fatties are more willing to buttsex
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:05 No.5985652

    Bro.. you haven't seen the other two females that we have to play with, one has her hair cut so fucking short that I think she might be a dyke and the other is skinny like near to anorexic.

    The only one relatively worthwhile is the DM, but she's way to insane to even try something with. I heard one guy tried to have sex with her, she tied him up, stuck a candle, burning up his butt and sat there watching him.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:08 No.5985679
    They are women, they are horny, your arguments are invalid. At least try, for god's sake!

    Plus, if the DM's that crazy, then she probably won't have any problems with you fucking her brains out on the game table.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:10 No.5985696

    Maybe next time around I will, but I swear if I get tied up and gangraped by three females.. then.. I'll buy you a beer. Fuck it, I'll try it. *Shrugs* Can't hurt right, then again could get me kicked out of my gaming group.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:11 No.5985711
    Just post pics back here and we're square, okay?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:12 No.5985719
    OP does ERP with ugly chicks.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:13 No.5985728
    Dude I'm going to have to go with >>5985679 on the "that crazy" comment. If she was running that game, not commenting on how horn'd everybody was, and happy to do so, You probably could have just bent the bitch over the table, shoved the dice aside, and moved in for a critical hit. If you know what I mean.

    Burnt his ass up? Candles? What are you, 14? First of all: Why would you believe that? Secondly: That just means you have to keep her interested. She was probably just bored.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:13 No.5985731

    The fuck man, you want to see pictures of my hairy ass. I'm a fa/tg/uy remember, not some hunka burning love here.

    Shit man, even Brian O'Halloran looks better then me.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:14 No.5985739
    Fucking do want.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:14 No.5985747
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    /x/-tan so doesn't fucking approve of this.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:15 No.5985756
    Look, I've watched enough porn in my time to know how to block out the hairy man-ass in favor of looking at the girl getting nailed. Don't worry about me taking SAN damage, yo.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:16 No.5985757
    No john, OP is the fat chicks.

    Then OP went on jenny kraig.

    Hey, Fucko, Pics or it never happened.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:17 No.5985781
    Just don't be quite as brunt as some fa/tg/uys are suggesting. Bending her over the table and fucking her = possible rape charges. Taking her out to dinner, then bringing her home for some hot roleplay sexings = continuing income of sex.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:18 No.5985784

    Well, you don't know our DM, I do, she's fuckballs to the wall crazy.

    Also, for all wanting pictures, I don't have them yet because I didn't try to fuck any of them yet. Even so, ya'll will probably have to wait a couple of weeks, never can tell when the DM is gonna pull a raep scenario out of her ass.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:20 No.5985796
    Bitch is supposedly crazy, and may or may not be into it. Sounds like she wants to rape her party, to be honest.

    I'd love to meet a woman who can literally pull a rape scenario out of her ass.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:21 No.5985801
    Look, you don't bend her over the table and fuck her right away. You segue the RP into the real world fucking.

    Or you just ask her to make the next session LARP and offer your services to help her get things started. I mean, you're the one who suggested this whole situation in the first place, so perhaps she's just been waiting for you to ask.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:21 No.5985804
    Alright.. guys can we just drop the discussion about my DM and whether she wants me to fuck her and just get on with the point of the goddamn thread. Which is insane DM stories.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:22 No.5985812
    Use the dm as a dice bag
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:22 No.5985815

    Maybe.. I'll try to work something out, maybe I'll shoot her over an E-mail.. asking her bout it.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:23 No.5985824
    But this discussion is so much more fun!

    And frankly sexy DM stories are something we get much more rarely than crazy DM stories.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:25 No.5985840

    Christ.. alright, what else do you wanna know, since this thread is totally derailed anyway.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:25 No.5985841
    Just because it was awkward to read, doesn't make it a "failure"

    nm intamcy is gay lol
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:26 No.5985848

    Honestly, I've only ever played with three different GMs, and the craziest any of them ever got was poorly house-ruling the skill challenges in 4E.

    Face it, your life is more exciting than ours, and we're latching onto it.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:26 No.5985850
    Describe the >>5985194 rape scenario. What happened to the female adventures after the fucking, for example?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:26 No.5985852
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    Also, a picture of our DM. Trust me, she might look tame, she ain't
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:28 No.5985864
    Well...hell if I know. I mean, I sure as hell don't have any sexy DM stories of my own, that's part of why I'm so interested in yours.

    Anybody else have something worthwhile here? Failing that, how about some of the other "scenarios" your Dungeon Mistress has run for the group?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:30 No.5985879
    I do not believe you have a DM enjoy your R A Salvatore novels
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:30 No.5985885

    The two adventurers, who were really turned on and looking for some hot breeding fun, walked into the sight of the two Minotaurs, who got similarly gasbombed, (together with the rest of the dungeon), one of these two fuckers is a mage, my friend's character, so he decides for lulz to cast accommodate on both females.

    We fuck them, lots of hot smex talk that I can't recall out of the top of my head, afterwards, when they're filled with enough cum that they look five months preggo the Minotaurs snap out of it and decide to wander off.

    I never heard what happened next because I had to leave, but what I understand from my friend is that the two girls squatted over eachothers faces, emptied their bellies by pushing down and face-coated eachother with Minotaur sperm, then again, he could have been bullshitting me. I dunno.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:33 No.5985905

    ITT 'The way I have fun is okay, the way you have fun is wrong.'

    Enjoy feeling superior, O D&D nerds.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:35 No.5985920

    Look, fucksauce, she's actually kind of cute, so move in on that shit.

    Just tell her you are interested in doing a side story with your character, or something. Anything that results in alone RPing time. Then move things into sexing a bar wench, then mention that it might just be easier to act out what you are trying to do the bar wench.

    Then, since she sounds like she's into kinky shit, bend her over and break the table fucking her.

    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:36 No.5985930
    She's cute. Bit of a long neck, but that may be just because of how the picture's cropped.

    Do it, OP.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:37 No.5985936
    Tell me something, Broski.

    What about >>5985885 sounds like the way you should spend an afternoon?

    Also take into account no actual sex-acts happened. These were all pretend, make believe sex acts.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:37 No.5985940

    Again, I am not Brad fucking Pitt, or any other hot sexy man. I'm a fucking fa/tg/uy just like the who lot of you are, but.. who cares, I'll try to do that shit.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:38 No.5985942
    Fuck, you should have stayed for the rest of it. Now I feel like erping, fuck.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:38 No.5985944
    Sorry, have you fucked a crazy chick and had to put up with the bullshit they put you through?

    I made that mistake, after we broke up I had to move, change my phone number and politely ask her to leave me the fuck alone, block her on all of my IMs and block her emails.

    Sure, the fuck is great, but everything else is not, and NO IT IS NOT WORTH IT.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:39 No.5985952

    Semi-weekly /d/&d. Nice. What are the other sessions like?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:40 No.5985954

    Your fucking kidding me right.. I just sent her an e-mail about getting together for some one-on-one RP time..
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:41 No.5985961

    Just our normal Party, who never get up to much crazy shit, were 'problem solvers' for a local Count who, I believe and know is a vampire, but the rest of the crew just wave it away. Still he pays good coin so *shrugs* he can suck whatever wench he wants dry as far as I care.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:41 No.5985966
    She doesn't sound like the type of crazy you were dealing with, dude.

    Frankly, she just sounds kinky. Which is very different from your "batshit insane stalker".

    OP, ignore this fucktard and go for it.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:42 No.5985973
    Well, those crazy chicks are the ones who want a relationship- this girl sounds like she's just a nympho, and would be interested in being fuck-buddies.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:43 No.5985976
    I don't want to say that's EXACTLY what she's going to be like, but it's what I had to put up with last time I fucked a crazy chick
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:48 No.5986008
    I'm together with a 'crazy' one right now. Not so much the fucking insane type, as the manic depressive type, but it's similar. They will put you through hell.

    On the upshot, they're the horniest bitches in the world.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:48 No.5986014
    And e-mail back:

    Sure 'fa/tg/uy', I've got some time later tonight, what did you want to exactly do, build out your normal character or give me some help on fleshing some NPC's?

    So I e-mailed back,

    I was thinking of helping you with some of our other sessions, maybe helping you with some story-writing or whatnot.

    Email I got back after that:

    Well alright, shall we meet, seven o'clockish at my place?


    So I guess I'm all set.. right?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:50 No.5986022
    Make sure to bring your +1 condom.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:51 No.5986037

    AFAIK she hasn't seen anybody for 2,5 years, the Candle dude was her last Boyfriend.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:52 No.5986045
    We're fa/tg/uys, we're just as fucked up, we can combine our mental issues with theirs into a Relationship of Mass Destruction. And Destructo Nookie.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:53 No.5986050
    Well, then do you have buffs to Endurance? You might need it.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:54 No.5986058
    Fuck yeah.

    My professional side has to warn you, though- even though all the hints she's been giving seem to point towards sexy-fun-time, it's possible that we're all misinterpreting this. So, don't go in there with getting sex on your mind- Just go in, do what you said you'd do, and keep an eye open for any hints that she wants to start something.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:54 No.5986061
    Well, go for it. Beyond this point, it's all you. Just go with the flow. And remember the Boy Scout motto; bring protection and lube.

    Just tell us how it goes. And pics of her, if she's so inclined.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:55 No.5986065
    oh yeah, maniac depresive sex. Add some catholic background and you get some kinky situations involving guilt. I think my taste for s/m started here. That, and Milo Manara.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:55 No.5986071
    Well, I never said I wasn't. I'm just as clinically depressed and devoid of self esteem as she is. But at the same time, I'm the one who has to try and make her feel better every time she gets in that whole "I'm sad for no reason, and will be cold and dismissive until you cheer me up.", which is basically once per day.

    Outside of that, everything is great.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:56 No.5986075

    Well thanks for the support at least guys, I'll post later tonight here. (Over in Europe) To tell you guys how it went, not going there with "I'm gonna get laid", on my mind, more, "We'll see what happens, sex if it 'appens is a nice bonus"
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:57 No.5986080
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    This is truly a good day to be on /tg/. Just knowing that somewhere out there, a fa/tg/uy is a little bit closer to getting some hot monkey lovin' makes my day a better one.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:57 No.5986083
    No Catholic background here. Get this: druids.

    She can be fucking wild sometimes. I think I'm starting to enjoy the whole biting thing.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:57 No.5986086
    For the love of Heironious, hit that shit, and if she's really that crazy, get photos, and give us an update!
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:59 No.5986094

    Wild... as in.... shapes? How many times per day?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)02:59 No.5986096
    Pagan sex?

    Damn, keep an eye on the calendar and the pagan holidays- she'll be so goddamn into it if you arrange a trip out into the woods on the right day.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:00 No.5986099
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    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:00 No.5986102
    Okay, gents, the way I see it we have two options.

    Either we keep this thread alive until the OP comes back, or we archive it so we have the reference for when he comes back.

    Or both, just in case.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:00 No.5986109
    Its true for most of fa/tg/uy & ca/tg/irl relationships I know.

    A maniac (a normal dude most of time, but has creepy outbursts of anger) dude and a depresive (to ridiculous extremes) girl, or a masochist (with fear of razors and blades) guy with a sadistic girl (who happens to LOVE sword replicas)
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:02 No.5986116
    I wish. I actually don't know why I never asked her what her wildshape is. I'm gonna do that tomorrow.

    She's not practicing or anything. Just happened to be raised that was as a kid (in rural fucking Russia no less).

    Today she told me she's cosplay as Cultist-chan, and even do the voice.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:04 No.5986134

    Come on, dude. She can't be crazy all the time, can she? She's hung out with you for how long while you guys D&Ded? It sounds like you've been playing D&D with this group for a while now.

    You should ALREADY know if she's too crazy to know in person. You should ALREADY know if she is the kind of person you could hang out with, or date, or just fuck for fun.

    And why do you think you need to look like Brad Pitt? You've got a group with THREE girls and TWO guys. Why would they think you are some low-life scum, or a worthless basement dweller, or whatever, when ALL THREE GIRLS show up regularly?

    Guess what? They are JUST LIKE YOU. I'm not saying they're whores who want cock, I'm just saying that they are no better then you. If they could go and get banging-hot guys, why would they hang out in chicks basement with your smelly ass?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:05 No.5986140
    Damn. It must be twoo wuv.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:07 No.5986156
    I have to ask a friend about the whole biting thing. I don't see the appeal but she used to had bites all over her body. I guess you get used to it and then start to enjoy it.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:07 No.5986160
    She just asked me to move in with her. I can't afford to right now, but I would if I could.

    I'm not really a catch, so basically anyone who will put up with me is enough. All the extra ca/tg/irl stuff is just a bonus.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:12 No.5986190
    I support the ego boost here. I really hate the idea of a lot of white knights to think of women as other kind of beings. Bullshit. They feel horny and they dwell in their basements as much as we do. And they can be as pathetic as we are.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:12 No.5986191
    Good on you, bro. I hope it works out for the best, but save up plenty of money before you move in with her- enough that, if shit goes tits up, you can afford to move back out. That way, even if nothing bad happens, you've got plenty saved up for a bigger house, wedding, or honeymoon.

    ...I'm way too goddamned domestic.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:12 No.5986193
    moving in is a baaaaaad idea. I hope your world can fit in a single small cardboard box.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:15 No.5986213

    That's actually where I am, now. She's into knitting and card making and what not, while I paint models or whatever. We're close enough in the 'stay inside and do quiet things' department that it works out even though our hobbies have nothing in common.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:16 No.5986222
    I think she might have more stuff than I do.

    I can cram everything I own into 10x20ft dorm room.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:19 No.5986252
    Anyway, I gotta crash for the night.

    Someone keep this shit alive so we can get a recount of OP's tale later.
    >> OP 09/24/09(Thu)03:20 No.5986274

    What you might be saying is true but she is fairly crazy, I mean I watched her do some oddball shit during the time I spent with her. For example, when she's bored she's more then happy to do the knife thing where you stab between your opened fingers, yeah she does that.

    About the other two girls.. your probably right, they couldn't get hotter guys if they tried, well maybe if they tried but their just as socially awkward as the rest of us.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:22 No.5986293
    Does RPing have a higher percentage of mentally unstable people than other hobbies? Personally, I have struggled with a cocktail of anger management and depression for the last five years, my fiancee (also a gamer) is hella depressed and an ex-cutter, my best friends are both clinically depressed, and - to be honest - I'm never really surprised when someone mentions that they're fucked up. So what's the deal? Does the escape into fantasy worlds attract people who are dissatisfied with the real one? Well - it must do. I guess.

    What other experiences do people have with this.

    (Also - yeah, manic-depressives are great in bed)
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:25 No.5986314
    "Thread 5985194 is now archived."

    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:25 No.5986316
    Fatties are more willing to everything
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:26 No.5986320

    Roleplaying tends to accumulate oddballs with depressive problems as they use it as an escape method.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:26 No.5986326
    No idea why exactly, but 'nerdy' stuff tends to come naturally to those that are otherwise socially stunted. Though it's not one causing the other, so much as the personality that is susceptible to one tends to be prone to the other.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:27 No.5986333
    It's up on sup/tg/ now, so it'll keep.

    Peace out, fellow anon, and I'll catch you folks tomorrow. Later today. Whatever the fuck it is.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:27 No.5986336
    Until the depressive downswing begins and all they want to do is cry
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:33 No.5986392
    Makes sense. My group has two guys with ADHD (though it hasn't been an issue in the last few years), our DM is slightly sociopathic (though I don't think he's realized it yet), I've got clinical and situational depression, and the one girl in our group is Christian.

    That's right. I went there.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:35 No.5986413
    My current group have:
    -bisexual girl with s/m undertones. Relatively balanced but in parties gets in kinky/teasing mode.
    -ex furfag. Turns out he was only gay, and even he tought the whole furry thing was just plain sick.
    -ADD kid. A decent person if you ask me, but damn, the guy is a true manchild when it comes to girls.
    -Butterface, very low self esteem because most guys just want to fuck her and tend to be huge losers, anger management problems.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:38 No.5986435
    I hate that. God how I hate the depressing phase. And then you take someone who is already a jealous bitch and is worse.

    I blame that I was a fat virgin back there, but now I try to steer away from that kind of crazy. I want to meet other kind of crazy tough.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:45 No.5986484
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    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:45 No.5986486
    I don't really mind it. Then again, I just have a thing for girls who need my attention and help.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:48 No.5986506
    Best STD evar.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:51 No.5986531
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    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:53 No.5986549
    The fuck is that from? I must avoid it like the plague (by which I mean, acquire a copy to add to my cavernous supply of roleplaying supplements that must never be touched)
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:54 No.5986557
    It was just a matter of time to see FATAL here.
    That or dumping our /d/ folders.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)03:54 No.5986560
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    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:00 No.5986593
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    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:02 No.5986598
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    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:08 No.5986628
    D&D time here. I'm a dwarf of some clan already in the setting. Call it Clan Futtbuck.

    What I don't know going into this (as it's the DM's homebrew world), is Clan Futtbuck is the evil clan. I just picked one at random.

    One day our party comes across a bunch of Futtbuckian Dwarves raiding a village. Being heroes we want to stop it, but I refuse, in character, to kill my own clan members.

    DM: No dude just do it.
    Me: No man, my character would not.
    DM: Nah he would just go along with it.
    Me: Umm... no?
    DM: Dude c'mon just shut up and do it you fucking whore
    Me: Whoa dude, c'mon. Role playing here...
    [Argument escalates]

    Now I'd like to make the note that at the time the DM was a blackbelt and a good 80 pounds and 1 foot bigger than me. He then proceeded to kick me in the chest to the point that I almost literally flew out of his garage.

    I did not return to that table.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:09 No.5986638
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    >> Zessar 09/24/09(Thu)04:10 No.5986644

    Honestly, think about it, we're like actors.
    We are people who (in the sexual sense or not) get off on pretending to be someone other than ourselves (even if its just us in a fantasy/scifi setting, thats not you precisely).

    Also, OP, you sent shivers up my spine, not sure whether to be turned on or shamed...
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:11 No.5986647

    This image is missing FATAL's confoundingly common usage of the word "cuntpipe."
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:12 No.5986662
    It just now occurred to me that they're probably playing GURPS in that picture.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:13 No.5986663
    what an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:13 No.5986669
    no fucking shit i would have burned that garage down
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:16 No.5986688
    >Clan Futtbuck
    I lol'd.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:22 No.5986722
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:25 No.5986748
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    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:27 No.5986770
    I agree- hell, the only reason I haven't done anything involving theater in the last year is because I've been too busy with college, and the theater program here sucks.

    (Well, it doesn't, but I hate the asshole who teaches almost all the theater classes, and they never do musical theater, which I vastly prefer over any normal theater other than Shakespearean.)
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:30 No.5986786

    asshole DM for sure

    reminds me of the "i make your paladin rape someone and fall because all men want sex" DM there was mentioned here a while ago

    here we go


    and the conclussion

    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:32 No.5986802
         File1253781158.png-(130 KB, 738x545, ~SKEET_FIGHTER.png)
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    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:37 No.5986845
    This makes more sense than anything else because you're a dwarf. Dwarves are all about the clan and everything. Fucking fail DM.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:41 No.5986871
    wow OP.......i would move on this
    just for the fact of getting to say dnd did this for me
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:43 No.5986884
    bring on the chocolate.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)04:44 No.5986894
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    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)05:03 No.5987000
    I went into this thread expecting crazy fucked up DM stories and I got this. I'm movin' on, bros.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)10:26 No.5988944

    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)10:30 No.5988978
    So, it's been a long fucking while. Did OP get laid?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)10:31 No.5988984
    Either he's in a sex coma, or she trussed his ass up and he can't get out.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)10:33 No.5988994
    I screamed. No, seriously, I did.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)10:39 No.5989034
    there are women who can take two fists up there so why the hell wouldn't a human chick be able to take a minotaur? oh right you're a virgin you don't know about these things, never mind.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)10:46 No.5989067
    Has it occurred to anyone that OP's DM may actually have been reading this thread?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)10:49 No.5989099
    That would have just made it all the better.

    She invited him over, so it means she's either decided to shoot him down in person, or else is totally into the idea of getting it on.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)10:53 No.5989128
    Well, inferring from >>5986014, unless he calls himself "fa/tg/uy"...
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)10:53 No.5989130
    Ooooor maybey he lied.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)10:55 No.5989142
         File1253804142.gif-(268 KB, 800x600, 1220379751720.gif)
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    ITT: pic
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)10:57 No.5989150
    Why put so much effort into lying on /tg/? I mean, lying in the heat of an argument/discussion to gain en edge or get some easy respect is one thing, but creating a whole thread and then playing along with it the whole time like he did? What could he possibly gain from that?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)11:03 No.5989191
    I'm guessing that he edited it, since it had the quotes and everything.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)11:11 No.5989254
    Lulz and fap material.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)11:13 No.5989272
    This isn't the first time someone lied on 4chan to look cool you know. GTFO
    >> OP 09/24/09(Thu)12:12 No.5989779
    'Sup /tg/

    First off, no I didn't get pictures, why, because I don't feel the need to put myself out here on the internetz.

    But! I did manage to get some groping + kissing etc done. I did the thing one of you blokes mentioned, trying to explain what exactly I would do to a barmaid to seduce her. She allowed herself to be groped and kissed, afterwards, she told me that the barmaid willingly relented to anything else I wanted.

    But she quickly added also that she wasn't ready to commit to that, but we did make plans for Friday night so not a total loss right?
    >> OP 09/24/09(Thu)12:22 No.5989869

    Seriously.. no responses?
    >> OP 09/24/09(Thu)12:27 No.5989905
    Guys.. I ish disappoint.

    Thought I would have gotten some support, congrats. Guess you don't give a rats ass..
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)12:31 No.5989929

    I think they're all in shock. I mean since when do these things have fairly... normal conclusions when it comes to fa/tg/uys??

    Still, well done man, its a good start.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)12:32 No.5989938
    Dude. Not bad at all.

    Next, need a full battle report and any nude photos as evidence.
    >> OP 09/24/09(Thu)12:34 No.5989953

    Thanks bros and maybe I'll get some Nudes, but if she does become my GF I won't post, only if she leaves my ass.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)12:36 No.5989969
    You can cut out the face so no one knows it's her.
    >> OP 09/24/09(Thu)12:37 No.5989978

    She goes on 4chan as well, inb4 no girls on the internetz, I think she'd recognize her own body.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)12:41 No.5990002
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    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)12:42 No.5990010

    How do you know she is not reading your thread right now? If she is a DM, she prolly regularly visits /tg/.
    >> OP 09/24/09(Thu)12:44 No.5990025

    Then she'd be happy I didn't fuck her over by saying I'll post nudes I guess.

    Maybe not so happy about telling you guys what we did, then again she might be. Will have to wait and see if she calls before freaking out.
    >> Tabrias 09/24/09(Thu)12:45 No.5990033
    I have to wonder what her response would be if you showed her this thread...

    also, use a trip next time. make's it easier to believe you.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)12:46 No.5990048
    Oh, but I am.
    >> OP 09/24/09(Thu)12:48 No.5990064

    The hell is a trip?


    Oh.. hey Sarah.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)12:48 No.5990065

    PIcs, or you're just trolling poor OP. Poor, lucky OP.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)12:49 No.5990073
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    >> Tabrias 09/24/09(Thu)12:50 No.5990077
    tripcode. "#" symbol followed by text of your choosing in the name field.
    >> !14yye/oG6A 09/24/09(Thu)12:52 No.5990092

    Like this?
    >> Sergeant Alexandros II 09/24/09(Thu)12:52 No.5990095

    Maybe she did.

    The plot thickens.
    >> Lion'el Richie !HdbvGtoIhw 09/24/09(Thu)12:53 No.5990106
    Next time you play, rape the monsters, then kill everyone.
    >> Tabrias 09/24/09(Thu)12:54 No.5990110
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)12:54 No.5990111
    Poster of >>5985320 here, saying "Congrats, dude!".

    And once again, /tg/ gets shit done.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)12:54 No.5990112
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    >> Lion'el Richie !HdbvGtoIhw 09/24/09(Thu)12:56 No.5990130

    It's probably because they really need to feel appreciated, and thus try extremely hard in bed.
    >> OP !14yye/oG6A 09/24/09(Thu)13:00 No.5990158

    Thanks bro, I'm feeling good now man :)
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:00 No.5990166

    Could you, by any chance give us another few shots of her? Ronery fappan nights and such.
    >> OP !14yye/oG6A 09/24/09(Thu)13:03 No.5990195

    I really don't have any more pictures of her I'm afraid :S
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:04 No.5990198
         File1253811844.jpg-(27 KB, 300x300, Link-dayum.jpg)
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    I'm disappoint OP. A group guys and girls, all horny, otherwise alone, and you didnt have an orgy?!
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:06 No.5990220
    What is this I don't even
    >> abstinence panda 09/24/09(Thu)13:08 No.5990246
    Hey OP, hey OP
    Make sure to use a condom.
    >> OP !14yye/oG6A 09/24/09(Thu)13:09 No.5990257

    >abstinence panda
    > Use a condom.

    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:11 No.5990273
    Yes. cut off the tip and wash it, and it's usable as an improvised frosting director thingy.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:11 No.5990275

    That's just Sexual Abstinence Panda, /tg/'s old mascot. You must be new here, I guess.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:12 No.5990291
    Dude do NOT hook up with crazy chick, you can get better. You clearly have some balls, you just need to stop fucking taking advice from strangers. Goddamnit.
    >> OP !14yye/oG6A 09/24/09(Thu)13:14 No.5990305

    Not Edward Norton + Fa/tg/uy + overweight = Not really capable of talking game to hot girls.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:15 No.5990324
    Current sex-ed training is working "Abstinence is the only sure fire answer, but if you feel you absolutely have to have sex makse sure he wears a condom and she is on the pill."
    >> Shotgun Ninja !!g/ZPoSEVJT2 09/24/09(Thu)13:18 No.5990353
    Cool story, bro.

    I wish we had more girls in my group...
    >> The Shadow 09/24/09(Thu)13:19 No.5990375
         File1253812796.gif-(1.49 MB, 300x199, awesome.gif)
    1.49 MB
    Way to make your Diplomacy check! Nice job!
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:22 No.5990403

    >afterwards, when they're filled with enough cum that they look five months preggo

    oh god why does this turn me on
    >> OP !14yye/oG6A 09/24/09(Thu)13:23 No.5990418

    Because your just as awesome as me! Fuckyeah!
    >> The Shadow 09/24/09(Thu)13:27 No.5990463

    Because you're a fa/tg/uy and chances are good that if you are, you'll also have be a /d/eviant whether you know it or not. Even if it's only for one thing.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:29 No.5990496

    >you'll also have be a /d/eviant whether you know it or not

    I... I don't know how to feel about this.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:30 No.5990507
    Grats on having some fun.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:35 No.5990559
    Assuming this is real, congrats OP. You do us proud.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:36 No.5990577

    Fuck yes, cum inflation. Brofist!
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:38 No.5990597
    pee in her butt
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:44 No.5990651
    OP, you can post pics after you bang her. Remember that if blow a big enough load on her face we won't be able to tell who she is.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:48 No.5990689
    She does have a long neck, probably gives good head.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:52 No.5990738
    OP, if you bang her a few times and she is a freak. See if she'll give you a blumpkin.
    >> Lilly 09/24/09(Thu)13:55 No.5990772
    It seems both of you forgot that he already posted a picture of her face, so it really wouldn't matter if it was cropped, we would know what she looked like, and more to the point, she would know what she looked like and know he posted the pictures. If it were me, I wouldn't give him more sexings, but then, she might be into that sorta thing...
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)13:57 No.5990800
    Definately inquire about the blumpkin, you won't be sorry if she does it.
    >> The Shadow 09/24/09(Thu)13:58 No.5990801

    Sounds like a FATAL spell.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)14:01 No.5990831
    bump for sexy talk
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)14:07 No.5990890
    If she was lurking this thread, I guess she wouldn't be so happy with op. Being repetitivaly called a second choice and a weirdo isn't really flattering.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)14:09 No.5990912
    This thread...

    is significantly less arousing than OP's post led me to believe it would be.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)14:10 No.5990923

    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)14:13 No.5990949
    To be fair, he called everyone else a second choice, including himself.

    To be honest, unless she's really broken, she's probably the best thing that's going to happen to him in a while.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)14:19 No.5991017
    Hey op, could we get some more details on the barmaid seduction rp ?
    I'm curious about how can one unakwardly get from regular rp to groping the dm.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)14:27 No.5991099
    Yeah, but she's definitely cute, interesting and daring, without being all that bent on making drama. Seems to me like a great girlfriend or fuckfriend.
    Even if he also don't think too much of himself, calling that a second choice is insulting.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)14:30 No.5991133
    And vice versa

    If both people are turned on, things that would otherwise be awkward as hell seem totally normal.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)14:34 No.5991173
    >And vice versa
    I don't know about that. He may be cuter than he thinks he is... but someone who thinks that playing with a knife is crazy seems boring to me.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)14:38 No.5991206
    I totally agree. I'm guessing that where the OP is coming from, he needs to bring her down to the level he feels he is at (or likely a few steps above it) in order to be able to think about this kind of a relationship. I'm guessing that he has a lot of self confidence issues (of course, stating this on /tg/ is like shooting fish in a fucking barrel), so if the girl is that good, then he simply can't see himself with her. Of course, he's probably better than he makes himself out to be too, so the whole double fa/tg/uy neckbeard thing isn't likely too prominent.

    Or I could just be having too much fun playing armchair psychologist, and she might be a skanky whore, and he a diaper-wearing, bottle urinating basement dweller.
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)16:08 No.5991931
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)16:51 No.5992314
    If I may bring this topic kind of sort of back on track, this girl sounds like an amazingly hillarious DM. Do you have any other, possibly non-erotica stories? Or if >>5990048 was for real, some straight from the source?
    >> Anonymous 09/24/09(Thu)16:55 No.5992353
    Sounds very arousing for all concerned. I'd make this a regular event if I were you, OP. Could be some very good experiences and memories in the making...

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