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    383 KB Professor Stein (Gone Fishing - ON A BOAT) !NU4eJT.c7o 10/07/09(Wed)04:17 No.6168378  
    Goddamnit /tg/

    I caught one of my players using loaded goddamned dice tonight.

    What the fuck should I do? I love this guy like a brother, but GODDAMN
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:18 No.6168383
    Who the fuck uses loaded dice for this shit?
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:18 No.6168388
    Congratulate him for loading a fucking die successfully. Then cheerfully suggest he not do it again or you'll pull him inside out.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:18 No.6168390
    why was he cheating? does he feel that you don't run the game in an fair way? does he just have a compulsive need to "win"? sit down and talk to him about it.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:18 No.6168394
    Confiscate dice. Use them against him.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:18 No.6168395
    You take the loaded dice.

    Any time you roll damage for him, or whatever the dice is, switch from your normal die to the loaded one.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:18 No.6168397
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:18 No.6168401
    Talk to him about it, ask him why he was using them, and tell him that if he does it again, you'll kick him out of the group.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:19 No.6168404
    Get a long sock. Fill it with good, honest dice. Beat your friend with it and drive him out of your home.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:19 No.6168405
    you let players bring their own dice?

    learn to dm bro.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:19 No.6168409
    This is the saddest thing ever
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:20 No.6168411
    I guess it's time for a loooooong talk.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:20 No.6168414
    oh dont you start this bullshit over here now.
    >> The Laziest Troll 10/07/09(Wed)04:20 No.6168426
    Make higher numbers kill his ass.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:21 No.6168427
    Stop running a shitty system that is reliant on singular die rolls.

    And if he went to the lengths to load an entire set of dice for a pool...

    Magnificent bastard.
    >> Professor Stein (Gone Fishing - ON A BOAT) !NU4eJT.c7o 10/07/09(Wed)04:22 No.6168439
    He is a very competitive person. I think y'all are right. I'll just take the dice away, and make him roll mine. I have hundreds as it is.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:23 No.6168450
    >I have hundreds as it is.
    I'd like to see him loading all your dice.
    >> Professor Stein (Gone Fishing - ON A BOAT) !NU4eJT.c7o 10/07/09(Wed)04:24 No.6168456
    I guess he IS pretty awesome. I THINK they're mostly d6's, he's got atleast like 5-6.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:25 No.6168469
    Kill him. Then, eat his body so his life energies will be yours.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:26 No.6168475
    You should spend an entire session's combat using his loaded dice whenever it comes to attacking him.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:26 No.6168479
    Sit down and talk with him.

    See why he's using the loaded dice. Tell him loaded dice are unappreciated.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:26 No.6168481
    what did you do when you found out?
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:27 No.6168489
    everyone gets their lucky die but besides that you should supply.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:28 No.6168506
    A part of me is tempted to call this sad.
    And then I realized that every time I've ever heard someone say "that's sad." I've wanted to break one of their legs. So I'll steer clear of any value judgement as to what he did.
    What you ought to do is quietly inform him that that is a violation of the law, and that his stolen goods are now forfeit.
    >> Professor Stein (Gone Fishing - ON A BOAT) !NU4eJT.c7o 10/07/09(Wed)04:28 No.6168509
    Okay, well. there was a lot of frowning. Then there was "Why the fuck are you doing that?" then there was "I am going to fucking strangle the shit out of you, son."

    Also I hit him with a Monster Manual.
    Gonna do this.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:29 No.6168519
    I'm going to regret asking this, but...
    How many have you eaten lately?
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:30 No.6168527
    what, is 8 dice really too much of a hassle for you to lug around, instead of being a useless mooch?
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:30 No.6168529
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    Tell him that this shit will not fly. Not even a little.
    But keep it at that. Remember this is just a game played for fun. If you make it non-fun you have ruined the game.

    Which you all lost now btw.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:30 No.6168530
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:30 No.6168531
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:31 No.6168534
    How did you catch them?
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:31 No.6168537
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:32 No.6168545
    >I caught one of my players using loaded goddamned dice tonight.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:32 No.6168550
    Hey man, no need to be so rude. Everyone has a right to live.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:33 No.6168560
    What about the undead?
    >> Professor Stein (Gone Fishing - ON A BOAT) !NU4eJT.c7o 10/07/09(Wed)04:34 No.6168569
    I loved that movie. Best plan ever.
    Well, I was suspicious when he only used the dice for important as shit rolls.

    Shit hit the fan when he rolled 5 6's.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:34 No.6168578
    Not alive, not dead.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:35 No.6168581
    They blew their chance.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)04:35 No.6168583
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    Aaaand I am now reading all your posts in Hades' voice.

    Hot damn, this is awesome.

    Also, on topic, just be reasonable about it. Ask him why, tell him you don't want that, you enjoy a fair and fun game, etcetera, etcetera...

    And then make him eat his loaded dice, and see whether they come out on a good roll.
    >> Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 10/07/09(Wed)04:36 No.6168590

    Some sort of... UNCERTAINITY LICH?
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:37 No.6168600
    >make him eat his loaded dice, and see whether they come out on a good roll.

    >see whether they come out on a good roll

    >see ... [them] come out

    >tell your friend you want to watch him poop
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:37 No.6168601
    Loaded dice, meet my friend, ball-peen hammer.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:38 No.6168614
    You are an awesome DM, stein. You'll do fine.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)04:38 No.6168616
    Not what I meant, but I suppose you couldn't trust him to the truth, so... I suppose yeah, yeah, you'd have to.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:38 No.6168619
    Not really. What I always saw in undead whas that they are not alive, but also not dead. They call them undead instead of unalive because it sounds better and they look like corpses anyway (most of the time).
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:39 No.6168626
    >What the fuck should I do? I love this guy like a brother, but GODDAMN

    You should love him like a cellmate.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:40 No.6168648
    We call them undead because they were dead once, but then they got better.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:41 No.6168654
    That's a better explanation, thank you.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:41 No.6168658
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    >>and they look like corpses anyway (most of the time).
    Sounds like my wife before her morning coffee.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:42 No.6168669
    Follow these easy steps:

    1. Tell him how pointless it is to cheat in an RPG
    2. Mock him for cheating in an RPG

    You may want to take the dice and openly use it in some situations against him, asking him first what he thinks about it.
    >> Professor Stein (Gone Fishing - ON A BOAT) !NU4eJT.c7o 10/07/09(Wed)04:42 No.6168671
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    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:43 No.6168675
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    The solution is quite simple.

    Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:43 No.6168680
    Oh, I never will.

    In fact, I think you are President Barack Hussein Obama, II.
    >> Agouri !!Q+SCob6iFc6 10/07/09(Wed)04:44 No.6168688

    Reminds me of the bilingual whore video...

    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:44 No.6168690

    Seconded. Show him how the use of loaded dice give you the right to make him submit to your manliness.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:44 No.6168692
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    Well you do say Damn a lot.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:45 No.6168698
    Call him Cheater McCheaterpants from now on, and grant XP bonuses to any other players who do the same.

    Whenever he rolls for anything, shriek STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM and then make a huge show of eyeing his dice closely.

    At some point, make a fake x-ray machine that you put at the doorway and check his dice with every time he arrives at a session.

    Also for the finishing touch, kill his entire family and cripple his dog.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:45 No.6168706
    Best. Fucking. Plan. Ever.
    >> Professor Stein (Gone Fishing - ON A BOAT) !NU4eJT.c7o 10/07/09(Wed)04:47 No.6168727
    You, my friend.

    You are a genius.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:47 No.6168728
    If he confronts you about any of this make sure that you have adequately prepared for it. You must look him dead in the eye and tell him, "Well it looks like..." then pause, whip on some sunglasses and continue with "Their luck ran out."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:48 No.6168733
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)04:48 No.6168737
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    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:49 No.6168741
    Uhhh.... Gnollmind?
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:49 No.6168744
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    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:49 No.6168746
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    >> Professor Stein (Gone Fishing - ON A BOAT) !NU4eJT.c7o 10/07/09(Wed)04:49 No.6168747
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    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)04:49 No.6168752
    Nah, CSImind.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:51 No.6168763
    CSI D&D
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:51 No.6168766
    That fist is tiny. Much like that of a female, a child or a halfling. Or a female halfling child.

    You aren't a female halfling child, are you?
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:52 No.6168776
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:52 No.6168785
    Expand the picture, smartass.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)04:53 No.6168789
    It's still goddamn tiny.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:53 No.6168791
    It's still really small. Like half the size of my fist.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:54 No.6168794
    Fuck yes.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:54 No.6168799
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    xD I lafd
    >> Evil !ozOtJW9BFA 10/07/09(Wed)04:54 No.6168802
    Did you call him out on it? If not, switch is loaded dice for dice loaded to always roll the lowest possible.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:54 No.6168803
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    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)04:55 No.6168808
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:55 No.6168809
    I fucking lol'd to tears
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:55 No.6168810
    Speaking of cheating... I closed down that power tripping ass ape, Zalgo's dork fort 5 times!

    Asshat thought that his big bad secret WH40k masturbation room was secret because he hid it behind a wall... so I flooded it, then lava filled it... then did both.

    Then I did the same to their glass ceiling + lava + water room.

    Then I flooded the whole damn underground.

    See Zalgo, you really should mind your own fucking business and not be such an overbearing control freak. IT was fun shitting in your sand box. Several times.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:56 No.6168821
    /tg/ gets shit done.
    I find it adorable.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:57 No.6168835
    "So it looks like this man was killed by a 1d6 slashing weapon, probably a short sword."
    "Not quite, look at the depth and angle of the wound. I'd say he took a sneak attack, 4d6 at least."
    "Well then, it looks like our killer"
    "has gone rogue."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:58 No.6168844
    Do people realise that with some subtle filing and a bit of polish ANY dice can be made "loaded"?

    It really doesn't take much more than about 20 minutes per dice, honestly. If he was clever he'd make them roll into the upper 1/2 rather than with a preference for the highest roll possible.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)04:58 No.6168845
    ........ Z҉҉̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑҉A҉L҉G
    ҉҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̚̕̚҉ ̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̚̕̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉ ̓̔̿̿̿̕̚۩?

    YOU JU� � ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝ ͡҉ZALST HAD TOi͍̙̬̦͙͉͍ͮ͡ͅǎ̸̡̘̩̟̮̫̋̿̇̈́̀n̸̶̜̻̲̝̰̗͙̍̌̓͐̾ͯ̀ ̩̣̻͍͔̩̥̱̈̊̆̎̔̔͑̕i̴̪͎̖̠͐́̋͌͜͞v̺́̔ͬͨ̉ͅë̬̙̪̞́̈́͐͋̃̒SAh̵̸
    ̝̳̮̫̙̮͖̬̔̂͗̂͞Y IT!
    >> Professor Stein (Gone Fishing - ON A BOAT) !NU4eJT.c7o 10/07/09(Wed)04:58 No.6168851
    Zalgo is a faggot.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:59 No.6168861
    Is it now CSI Miami time?
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)04:59 No.6168866
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:02 No.6168882
    I've always been a fan of loading my dice to roll extremes, but on either end. A preference for both 1's and 6's, for example.

    You'll never get caught; when people see a pool of 6, 6, 6, 6, 4, 3, 1, 1, 1, 1, they won't get suspicious.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)05:02 No.6168889
    But, but but... GLITCHES!
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:04 No.6168901
    For christ's sake, people, just use regular die.
    Why all the fucking trouble?
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:04 No.6168903
    "What killed him?"
    "Hard to tell the damage dice yet, but he suffered a 3x critical, so a bow of some kind."
    "What do we know about the victim?"
    "Messenger for the king, high movement per round and good riding skill. He has a letter pouch, but it's empty."
    "Sounds like he had a message of..."
    "Critical importance."
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)05:09 No.6168949
    "How did he die?"
    "Well, it was be blunt force trauma to the skull. Probably a mace of some kind. As well, an amulet was found, holy in nature. Placed on his corpse, as if in apology."
    "Well then... it looks like he was killed by..."
    "Clerical error."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:10 No.6168964
    Someone, please, make a CSI D&D crossover.
    Or something relevant.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:11 No.6168975
    "How did we find the body?"
    "It was found by a passing minstrel who started screaming."
    "I see. Looks like the killer left a"
    "calling bard."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:12 No.6168981
    How'd he load his dice?

    I used this against my party once... for dramatic effect. I bought 4 white cube super earth magnets... painted the pips on them... and used a die under the table to flip them over from 1 to 6...

    It was a cool effect because the players were in front of an Oracle who was blabbing about changing their fate, etc...

    But the magnets were heavy for their size, and I had to be careful not to let them touch.

    Still, cool theatric... not good for real cheating... unless you could get really small magnets, drill out the pips, place them and paint over, then roll on a metal surface (disguised even).

    That's how I'd do it, very subtle magnetism.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)05:12 No.6168984
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    A shirt for it already exists...
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:12 No.6168987
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:13 No.6168999
    "Sir, take a look at this."
    "What happened here?"
    "This man was apparently an unfaithful lover for a town baker's daughter, if the letter placed on his corpse is any indication. Poisoned; frozen from the inside out."
    "Well, looks like he found out the hard way. Revenge..."
    "Is a dish best served cold."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:13 No.6169002
    Fucking brilliant...
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:14 No.6169006

    Don't stop /tg/
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:15 No.6169020
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:16 No.6169029
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    "Looks like he pissed off a mage. Cone of Cold until he was below -9."
    "Have we identified the victim?"
    "Yeah. He's an Assassin wanted for murder five years ago, but with no progress they abandoned it after six months."
    "Then what we're dealing with here is"
    "A cold case."
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)05:18 No.6169038
    "What happened here?"
    "The man was killed by a slash to the gut, looks like at least 1d12. Also, there seems to be kiss-mark in lipstick on the vic's cheek, so we assume it was a woman."
    "Well... it looks like he couldn't..."
    "Fighter off."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:18 No.6169043
    Requesting drawfags.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:19 No.6169048
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    God fucking dammit /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:21 No.6169068
    This is terrible and hilarious at the same...
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:21 No.6169073
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:22 No.6169077
    "What happened here?"
    "Sir Estorick, a local Knight. It looks like his... ahem, penis was severed. From the looks of it someone tried to heal the damage with a cure light wounds spell, but it wasn't enough. He bled to death."
    "Sound like we've got"
    "A Knight to Re-Member.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:22 No.6169079
    You are not very good at this.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:23 No.6169087
    From loaded dice to CSI Dungeon.

    Emperor damn it, /tg/, you did it again.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)05:25 No.6169104
    "What happened?"
    "Looks like someone tied him up with chains, padlocked him to a weight, and threw him into the ocean. We checked his records, and it looks like he was an Infernal-pact robe model."
    "Well... it looks like for his last job, he..."
    "Wore locks."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:25 No.6169105

    Then perhaps we should have...
    Loaded the dungeon
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:25 No.6169108
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    "What do we have here, Jim?"
    "Druid 1st level. He tried to have his friend graft him owlbear limbs, suffered spell critical failure."
    "Well, we shouldn't mock him."

    "It was his right to bear arms."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:28 No.6169125

    What the fuck.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:29 No.6169132
    I'm going silently YEEEEAAAAAH-ing to myself after every one of these.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:29 No.6169134
    "What happened here?"
    "He stepped into a trap, it split him into half, then his left side dropped into a lava pit"
    "Well it looks like..."
    "...he's all right now"
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:30 No.6169149
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:32 No.6169158
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    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:32 No.6169160
    Goddamnit, /tg/! Now I have the CSI Miami theme stuck in my head.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:32 No.6169161
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    Oh Gawd, I can't stop reading these.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:33 No.6169167
    "What've we got?"
    "Burnt to death. It was a close thing too, only a couple of hp in it. If he'd stopped, dropped and rolled he may have been fine."
    "Looks like he should have learned to:"
    "Roll for fire damage."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:33 No.6169170
    "What do we know about the vic??"
    "Cause of death appears to be at least 5d6 electrical damage. Looks like the victim was hit while fleeing the scene."
    "I guess they got him while he was trying to..."
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)05:34 No.6169174
    "What... exactly happened here?
    "It looks like it was a double homicide. Set up a trap to stab them in the groin, shaved their heads, and carved dragon symbols into the bodies. As well, the culprit seems to have gotten out through the doggie door, indicating a severe lack of height."
    "Hmm. It started with the killer, but now both the victims are..."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:35 No.6169180
    Please someone archive this thread...
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:37 No.6169197
    Do it yourself.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:39 No.6169214
    "What exactly happened here?"
    "It's a giant. It looks like he broke into the encampment and began eating humanoids. We have evidence that a small creature hacked apart his stomach from the inside out."
    "Looks like he should have learned how to..."
    "Stop goblin."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:39 No.6169219
    Why aren't you laughing? Jokes are everywhere to see in this thread!
    Well they must have hide in plain sight!
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:41 No.6169236

    This one actually made me laugh out loud.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:43 No.6169246
    "If you ask me, I'd say this CSI: Miami joke is overcooked!"
    "Why's that?"
    "Because it's never rare and hardly well-done!"
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:44 No.6169253
    "Well, what have we here?"
    "Likely cause of death, blunt force trauma, I'd say 10d6 impact damage"
    "Anything else?"
    "Full plate armour, holy symbol, stick up ass; Guy's gotta be a Paladin."
    "Looks like..."
    "...He fell"
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)05:44 No.6169255
    "What happened here?"
    "Well, it looks like a hit-and-run. The assailant seems to have hit him with a tri-headed heavy flail, 1d12, minimum. To the back of the head, too, so it was a complete surprise...These claw marks on the ground indicate a bestial humanoid did it, too."
    "I guess..."
    "He'll never Gnoll what hit him."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:44 No.6169256
    "What a mess. What happened here?"
    "Well, from what he can gather, the noble's daughter was dropped 300 foot from the tower above. She was wearing a ring of feather fall, but the monster's antimagic eye was open and the girl crashed into it, killing them both."
    "I guess it's true. Beauty..."
    "Is in the eye of the Beholder."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:44 No.6169257
    Agreed. Anon is on a roll tonight
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:45 No.6169260
    "What do we have here?"
    "A guy was petrified during sexual intercourse. Possible suspect is a female wizard."
    "Well it looks like..."
    "...he loved her still"
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:45 No.6169267
    Play neuroshima.
    And watch him cry every time he rolls 20. (1 - success 20 - failure)
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)05:46 No.6169268
    Okay, that was goddamn brilliant.

    Well done good sir.
    Well done.
    >> GURPSfag 10/07/09(Wed)05:48 No.6169285
    "Well this is quite a mess."
    "From eye-witnesses, we can confirm that he was the owner of the tavern. They say wounds just started appearing all over him, and he collapsed to the floor in a bloody heap. Obviously the death was meant to be a message."
    "No, each wound left enough residue for us to determine it was from a magical blade."
    "Well, it appears-"
    "-that our ghost-writer has some sloppy penmanship."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:48 No.6169286
    /tg/ please beware
    'Cuz I do declare
    You seem to repeat yourselves
    I'll tell you in song
    You don't move on
    Just like those silly elves

    You must learn not to repeeeat
    These jokes that you say.
    And now you all must meeeeet
    the one to take your breath away...
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:49 No.6169291
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    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:49 No.6169292
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:50 No.6169296
    "Tell me what I'm looking at."
    "This woman was a recruit in the local fighter's guild. Found 25 gp and her brand new sword still on her. Numerous claw marks and fragments of bone indicate there might have been skeletons involved."
    "That just goes to show that when you're in a bad neighborhood at night it's always a good idea"
    > sunglasses
    "to carry mace."
    >> GURPSfag 10/07/09(Wed)05:51 No.6169305

    Hey Horatio doesn't make puns all the time.

    ...At least not good ones.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:51 No.6169307
    "So, what do we have?"
    "A guy tried to get past flame trap with fire immunity belt he bought two days ago. It appears the belt was a fake, made of cardboard."
    "Well it looks like..."
    "...a waist of paper."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:53 No.6169325
    Oh god the thread is evolving.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:54 No.6169329
         File1254909259.jpg-(31 KB, 399x604, dr_horrible.jpg)
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    I’m the guy to make it real
    The feelings you don’t dare to feel
    I’ll bend the world to our will
    And we’ll make time stand still

    That’s the plan
    Rule the world
    You and me
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:54 No.6169337
    good show
    >> GURPSfag 10/07/09(Wed)05:55 No.6169343

    Oh God.

    Neil Patrick Harris teaming up with himself.

    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:55 No.6169344
    It's beyond control, now.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)05:56 No.6169350
    *clap clap*
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:00 No.6169375
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    pay him in rape dollars
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:00 No.6169376
    to OP:

    Allow him to use his loaded dice but have him take a few points of damage every time he rolls 6's. His weapons are cursed.

    Alternatively, he uses the loaded dice and all his other rolls take a -2 penalty.

    After he stops using them, make the party quest into an area where at least some of the enemies they encounter use cursed weapons (you would be rolling the loaded dice).

    come on, /tg/, nobody suggested role-playing this out?
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:03 No.6169389
    Why would you roleplay out OOC cheating?
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:03 No.6169390
    We never considered role playing out his roll playing problems. After all
    Playtime is over.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:05 No.6169401
    We must update the archive with this
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:06 No.6169408
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    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:06 No.6169410
    why wouldn't you? i think it could be an interesting opportunity.

    then again, it's just a suggestion.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:07 No.6169412
    "What happened here?"
    "Seems like someone got past the guards undetected, then backstabbed him"
    "Seems like our murderer is...
    "...nothing to look at"
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:08 No.6169418
         File1254910105.jpg-(9 KB, 160x225, the-music-meister_pictureboxar(...).jpg)
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    I applaud your ballad, my friend
    With your wit in hand you go around the bend
    But it's with evil glee that to you i must send
    this horrid ballad put together by my evil friend

    Tell you how
    How you make
    Make me feel
    What’s the phrase?

    Like a fool
    Kind of sick
    Special needs
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:13 No.6169444
    Oh god, it's like Dr Music, or something....
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:14 No.6169450

    Dr. Music?

    Fuck you! He's the god damn Music Meister.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:15 No.6169455

    I think the second part was suppose to be Dr. Horrible...
    >> Professor Stein (Gone Fishing - ON A BOAT) !NU4eJT.c7o 10/07/09(Wed)06:18 No.6169464
    I love you all so much /tg/

    200 posts? Oh god, you are amazing people.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:18 No.6169468
    I always use loaded dice during D&D. The trick is to load them in such a way that they look normal.

    Non-loaded dice are for people that want to lose.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:22 No.6169491
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    It seems to me that you have stumble onto a very interesting lire
    perhaps the two of us could go even higher
    if we were to combine our voice into a single chant
    and then with that voice we make the people dance!
    >> Professor Stein (Gone Fishing - ON A BOAT) !NU4eJT.c7o 10/07/09(Wed)06:23 No.6169494
    Best villain ever.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:26 No.6169511

    Want to say
    Love your hair
    Here I go
    Tell you how

    With my freeze ray i will
    I will find the time to
    find the words to

    Tell you how
    How you make
    Make me feel

    With my freezeray
    I will stop the pain
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:27 No.6169520
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    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:27 No.6169521
    "What happened here?"
    "Victim was caught by surprise by a high level wizard. Seems like he tried to reach for his dice bag to roll for evasion, but it was empty. Not that it would help him anyways."
    "Well it looks like our man..."
    "... forgot to load his dice"
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:32 No.6169545
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    What's this you say, your Freeze ray you plan to use?
    But in this path of villaaaaaaany, what's the point to abuse
    such power against other like-minded fools

    Perhaps we should talk more on this
    once we tow the line and take the time
    to discover our own evil plaaaaaan!
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:33 No.6169547
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    Once again, /tg/, attention goes to the guilty
    This thief rigs his dice, what'll be the penalty?
    He had loaded dice?
    Freeze him in ice!
    Cover him in lice!
    His cock you dice!
    Choke him on rice!

    For he's a scoundrel, a cheat.
    Throw him in the drink!
    Ugly girls he'll meet!
    Make that cheater think!

    Ask him what
    What will it take
    To make that man repent.
    If he says

    For he's a scoundrel, a cheat.
    Make that cheater think!
    He'll run so fast he's 'fleet'!
    Push him past the brink!
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:40 No.6169586
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    What's this? You scoundrel
    You dare to attempt to take my ire?
    But the words you sing, they are the truth
    To what we feel we must do

    So dance your dance
    Prance your Prance
    For now together we do belooooooong!
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:40 No.6169589
         File1254912049.gif-(1.48 MB, 479x361, 1251060474788.gif)
    1.48 MB
    Well shit, it's the Music Meister.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:43 No.6169604

    >> Professor Stein (Gone Fishing - ON A BOAT) !NU4eJT.c7o 10/07/09(Wed)06:43 No.6169605
    >If he says

    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:46 No.6169615
    I think this thread appropriately sums up /tg/.

    Thread starts off with serious topic, gets some serious helpful replies, quickly changes into mass jokes before suddenly bursting into song.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:47 No.6169620
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:50 No.6169639
    archive this please

    3 flavors of awesome right here
    >> Anonymous. 10/07/09(Wed)06:52 No.6169645
    "So, what've we got this time?"
    "The grocer called it in. Our vic was spotted stealing a barrel of pickles from his storehouse, and by the time our men caught up, well... our best guess is that he failed a Dex check while fleeing, lost his balance and got crushed to death under the weight of his spoils."
    "If he had only rolled the barrel instead, maybe he wouldn't have ended up..."
    >> Sheep !SEBMHOI66. 10/07/09(Wed)06:52 No.6169649
    The song meister you may be
    But lacking in convictions, see
    He might be wrong in loading die
    But if you ask me, an eye for an eye!

    Take his die and don't play nice
    I bet for sure he will think twice!
    If he rolls against a sneak
    Use this amazing little tweak

    He has went against your rules
    Surely only a deed for fools!
    Make this player play a kobold
    His cheating habits will not hold!

    And if he asks about your decision
    Give the guy another conviction!
    You see, my friends, these laws aren't bliss
    But it gives your game a lovely twist!
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 10/07/09(Wed)06:53 No.6169651
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    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:53 No.6169653
    This thread turned from discussion, scolding, and general upheaval about loaded dice, to corny CSI quotes, and then Disney + Dr Horrible musicals.

    Son. I am not dissapoint.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:54 No.6169657
    Oh /tg/ you great big lump
    I posted that to get a bump
    To avoid the thread hitting a slump
    And my my friend you knoooow
    That we'll continue the shooooow
    For it's

    The work of /Teeeee
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)06:55 No.6169662
    /tg/, truely the masters of derailing epicly.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)07:01 No.6169681
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)07:02 No.6169683
    "What happened here?"
    "Victim was struck by a discharged magic wand in the eye. It punctured his eye socket and went right into the brain"
    "Well it seems that death was given..."
    "...free of charge."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)07:10 No.6169720

    >>Anon is on a roll

    That's a pretty... loaded suggestion.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)07:13 No.6169727
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    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)07:18 No.6169748
    "Well... I had an Uncle Richard that tried to bring nude theater to a festival in Waterdeep... Exposure is usually good for an actor's career, but even so, a cold reception for the play caused the cast to shrink steadily. Blackballed, my uncle tried to recruit from the thieves' guild, but they wouldn't let their nick-ers go. 'Just bare with me,' he would say, but they were afraid of being stripped of their dignity. He gave up the lead to attract new members, and eventually the production's genius was uncovered, even with his part left out."
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)07:20 No.6169762
    The only person who could think this plan would work
    Is a very Cocky man.
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)07:50 No.6169964
    ba dum *pssh*
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)07:55 No.6169995
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)07:57 No.6170009
    Best thread since the lich rap battes
    >> Anonymous 10/07/09(Wed)08:49 No.6170404
    Hell yeah.

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