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  • File : 1256076183.jpg-(139 KB, 717x939, Counting the Clicks.jpg)
    139 KB Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:03 No.6358015  
    ITT: Scenes you never expected your GM to do.
    My GM is a dungeon crawler, he's a D&D player and he rarely does any scenes with any emotional value at all.
    One day, we started a D20 modern game which started with us going about our daily lives playing normal people, within 2 minutes we were in an air raid shelter as the nukes flew overhead.
    We exited it several weeks later and found an old (undamaged) military base and decided to try and find anyone we could, we rad suited up and went for it in a Truck filled with food, water and radation drugs.
    We expected it to be a relativly simple game fo find the survivors, fight bandits, ect. Nothing really emotional or anything.
    We were so wrong,
    The scenes he described were painful in their descrption, piles of burned corpses, miles of ashen waste.
    The worst thing though, was when we found a school.
    Everyone there had survived the blast and come out in the last few days, already the childrens hair was falling out, they were vomiting blood and playing in the ashes, the teachers letting them because they knew that it didn't matter anymore.
    We took them in and managed to save 10.
    That game went on for 4 years and spanned 4 generations of PCs and the whole time it was magnificent and deep, rich and well made.
    He suprised us quite a lot.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:10 No.6358116
    Well, all my DM's have been predictable, but when I DM I always throw in a bit of sci-fi or horror elements.

    E.g, One game they were sent to find out what made an awful crashing sound. Turns out it was a so called 'Space-man' who's science fiction like stuff was under control by an outside force. They got him the items he needs, but when hes preparing to get his shit together three wizards approach the party and say they need the spiders in the 'space-man's' ship. Ninja guy rolls in, grabs spiders, overhears spaceman talking about killing the people. Everyone assumes its them. They bring spiders, the spiders spin an interdimensional web that brings a demon into their realm. Demon fights them with their worst fears. Everyone ends up close to dying until spaceman kills demon.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:12 No.6358132
    one time the DM raped my halfling wizard with a werebear. I hate him and i hate 4chan
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:12 No.6358142
    I am in envy.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:14 No.6358161
    One day my GM shat on the tabletop and ate the shit.
    >> Masterfag !!wUrDqZks5cn 10/20/09(Tue)18:16 No.6358189
    Fucking fuck OP.
    I wanna hear more.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:17 No.6358199
    When I DMed a party member got raped by two blackmen named Bubba and Lucy
    >> Masterfag !!wUrDqZks5cn 10/20/09(Tue)18:17 No.6358205
    That's a blatant lie.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:20 No.6358241
    >all my DM's have been predictable
    >when I DM I always throw in a bit of sci-fi or horror elements.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)18:22 No.6358274
    Allow our party to die and stay dead. Normally we end up all dying at least twice a session, because my group is so stupid. Normally, the DM is quite forgiving, allowing us to take things back a bit before we all died, if we learned from our mistake.

    However this time I think the reason was so stupid that he didn't even care we were sorry for making a mistake, and we had to make new characters.
    >> Masterfag !!wUrDqZks5cn 10/20/09(Tue)18:23 No.6358286
    You are a shit DM
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:24 No.6358300
    care to elaborate
    >> Lex the Thread Killer !/7RPATe1bo 10/20/09(Tue)18:25 No.6358304
    hahaha, oh wow.
    Your DM must be a pansy.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:26 No.6358318
    Uhh, there was more to it then that
    Just happened they were all thrown in prison, that poor party member was party-less in a cell with Bubba and Lucy
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:28 No.6358333
    that doesn't counter his statement at all
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)18:28 No.6358337

    I think it's best for everyone, I mean we are really stupid. If we stayed dead every time, we'd never get anywhere.


    Well we were in a submarine and were having trouble with the sonar, so one of the guys put on some goggles, held his breath and opened the main hatch on the top of the sub to look around.

    At the time, it seemed like a good idea. I guess we should have listened to the DM's several warnings and notions that such a thing might not be a good idea.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:28 No.6358338

    What was the reason
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:29 No.6358345
    beautiful thread OP
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:30 No.6358352
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:32 No.6358375
    That's... just... but... wow. Seriously, WOW.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)18:33 No.6358388

    I didn't understand why he just ended it at that. Even if we couldn't pull back the clock, we could at least swim around, and make for the surface, right?

    Apparently not, something about "You're a mile underwater, the pressure alone would kill you." and all that jazz. I don't know, I thought it was a stupid reason, but anyway yeah, our guy performed the action to open it, and was going to have a look around when the DM just walked off.

    He came back later and said we all died and were starting over.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:35 No.6358405
    ...I don't know if you're trolling, creating a funny story, or just retarded...I'm hoping for the former two....I mean....Just...No...
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:35 No.6358406
    Where's a drawfag when you need one?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:35 No.6358407
    You must be trollan because you're typing too well to be that stupid.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:36 No.6358421
    Actually I think the pressure same pressure that would have killed you would also have kept the hatch shut securely.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:37 No.6358427
    From the thumbnail, the geiger counter is staring at me.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)18:37 No.6358429

    Hey, it wasn't my idea!

    I didn't see what the big problem was, I mean we've done MUCH stupider than that.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:38 No.6358434
    Friend Computer in portable form?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:38 No.6358435
    >something about "You're a mile underwater, the pressure alone would kill you."
    The pressure would MANGLE you HIDEOUSLY at a mile underwater, holy fuck.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:38 No.6358436
    I want to find this hard to believe, but I cant.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:39 No.6358443

    Ah yes. The moment needed to ask god why he cursed you with retards and maybe a little bit of crying.

    Then back to leading another group of helmeted ones to their inevitable doom.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)18:44 No.6358523

    Well it was a mechanical, auto lock jobby, those kind that open and close with mechanical assistance. That way, when you have a dramatic scene where someone's trying to get through one, it cuts them in half or something cool.

    Anyway, I digress, our mate was like "Ready, I'm gonna throw the switch." and I stood there to give him a boost up the ladder while the others watched.

    And then we all died or something.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:47 No.6358562
    itt the long list of examples of why namefags are fucking stupid gets another line added to it.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:49 No.6358600
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:51 No.6358630
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    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 10/20/09(Tue)18:52 No.6358645
    rolled 13, 12, 9 = 34

    Tell us about more of your misadventures.
    >> Lex the Thread Killer !/7RPATe1bo 10/20/09(Tue)18:54 No.6358667
    are they... Marvelous Misadventures?
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)18:56 No.6358693

    Eh, kinda like that, except we were fighting to get to look out when he said he could see some jellyfish. Our DM had walked off so we continued while he was gone. Unfortunately only three could look out the hatch at any one time, so they described what the could see to us.

    It was cool, there were like clown fishes and seahorses and stuff, and someone swore they saw a sunken ship. Then the DM came back and announced we had died.

    It was cool while it lasted though! Looking back on it now though, I think we should have just used the periscope or something.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:58 No.6358711

    God dammit this is the third fucking time this story has been posted. Troll or retarded. Completely fucking retarded.

    I mean seriously. The DM didn't just flat out have some of the NPC's on the ship tell you that opening the hatch at that depth would kill you all?

    Though to be fair if you tried to argue why it wouldn't work when it was thoroughly explained how many pounds of force per square inch were involved... I would probably have not wanted to talk to any of you for at least several days out of disgust.

    Not only are you morons, you refuse to listen to reason and can't take being wrong.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)18:59 No.6358731

    that sounds like 8 year olds playing submarine
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)19:01 No.6358751

    What? I've never posted this story before, it happened recently.

    Some of the party stayed on the bridge, while the rest went off to open the hatch. He did have the crew warn us, and even try to stop us but we had the fat guy block the stairs so they couldn't get up.

    Keep in mind we thought it was a good idea, and so assumed the crew was in the wrong.
    >> Masterfag !!wUrDqZks5cn 10/20/09(Tue)19:01 No.6358755
    You are not for real.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)19:03 No.6358791

    I don't see what the problem is. People make mistakes.


    Like I said, most of the people in my group are dumb shits. I suppose I am too for going along with them.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:05 No.6358808

    Is your entire group composed of 16 year old girls?
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)19:07 No.6358831

    Erm no, no one's younger than 18, and only one person is that. Most are over 20.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:09 No.6358855
    trollpasta, the most disgusting kind
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:11 No.6358867

    Then why have I heard it referenced in other threads? Perhaps you mentioned it off-handedly? and by recently do you mean in the last few days? or something a bit longer, cause I could have sworn I saw something about this a couple of weeks ago.

    Also, you should all re examine how you take advice. "We thought it was a good idea so we don't listen to anyone else".

    So, want to go rape a nun and burn down and orphanage and not listen to the police cause it sounded like a good idea at the time?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:11 No.6358876

    You couldn't open the hatch if you wanted to. They open outwards. No mechanical hatch we have that exists could force back the pressures of a mile under the ocean, even if it's an auto-lock deal.

    Also no submarine we have could survive that. A mile below is beyond crush depth. Unless this is one of those specialized deep sea submersibles for research...
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:15 No.6358937
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    There's no way anyone could possibly be this retarded and still be breathing.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:15 No.6358942

    Why do you say "the DM is a dungeon crawler" when you have 4 years of counter evidence?

    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)19:15 No.6358943
         File1256080528.png-(108 KB, 387x282, 1236659058976.png)
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    What did you hear? It happened... oh around the second or third of this moth if I remember.

    And no, we wouldn't rape a nun and do all that, because that's evil, not just stupid.

    I probably should have not said anything about this, I took the same kind of fire about the Bees account that happened. People don't believe other people are that stupid, without experiencing it firsthand.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)19:18 No.6358973

    It's a game brah.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:18 No.6358974

    The lesson you all should take from this entire event is one sentence worth of information.

    "If one person tells you it's a bad idea get a second opinion, if the second person says the same get a third, and if that third says it's a bad idea then don't do it."

    Seriously. Your idiocy will live in infamy and I'm going to tell my group today when we meet up about this. This is fucking comedy gold.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:18 No.6358977

    It is entirely dumb. I thought my party was insane when the russian sniper special forces chick threw the white phosphorous grenade down the hall in a deep sea habitat. But 'opening the hatch' is totally insane.

    BTW the white phosphorous grenade killed everybody. The hab was equalized at 50 atmospheres.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)19:21 No.6359005

    Well by that logic, only one person was telling us it was a bad idea.


    Like I said, they've done stupider things, this decision was just made on the fly so he probably didn't think about it much beforehand.

    Just a;
    "We can't see where we're going, let's sto-"
    "Wait, hold on I have an idea, I'll be right back."
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:22 No.6359018
    Why would you assume the crew is in the wrong. Holy shit you are all insanely stupid.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)19:28 No.6359066

    I don't want to have to keep justifying myself; look, my group is stupid, opened the hatch on a submarine, and we all died. That simple.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:30 No.6359090
    I'm not sure I can even imagine "stupider things" things. Can you elaborate on them?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:31 No.6359108

    Am I the only one thinking that that's just awesome enough to let slide? Just look at >>6358630
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:34 No.6359146
    I lol'd so very hard.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)19:35 No.6359159

    Well there was the Bees one where I got chewed out on.

    We were supposed to collect some honey as a quest requisite, so we figured we'd just steal some, I mean, come on right? So we found a pasture full of bee hives, and concocted a plan to steal ALL the honey.

    Long story short everyone except one person died. However if people are really bothered by the stories from my group then I won't tell them anymore. The last thing I want is to upset people.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:35 No.6359167

    Yes, but think about in character you jackass. if one crewmember says it's a bad plan, then ask another, if another says it's a bad plan, ask another. If that third one tells you you're all going to fucking die thanks to metric tons of fucking pressure. Then perhaps they know what the fuck they're talking about.

    And if you pull that, "I will not conform I am a unique snowflake" argument I swear to fucking god you're going to be hit by a bus one day and no one will miss you. In fact, here's a link.


    This is your group's logic in a nutshell.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:36 No.6359171

    I'd say keep going. These things are pretty funny.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:37 No.6359189
    I can't be upset by shenanigans. How did your party die with the Honey caper? Were they all just raped by bees?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:39 No.6359212
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    >This thread is now about bees.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:40 No.6359234
    Stupider things?

    Does everyone in your group slam their dicks in doors constantly or something?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:41 No.6359253
    yes, you are a fucking idiot.

    i think most people are running into trouble with this because it is suck EPIC stupidity that their brains refuse to believe it is real and thus they claim troll.

    Usually it is the people who do not go out into society much who have trouble with this. Those of us who do venture out into the wider world on a frequent basis know damn well that people are not only as stupid as you fear, but more so, and will prove it at the drop of a hat.

    How this species got past the 'ogg make club' stage of development is conclusive proof in my mind of a divine being or beings watching over and manipulating us all.....and they are as sadistically cruel as they are powerful.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:45 No.6359309
    I haven't heard it.

    I'll contribute one of my own. My players were supposed to steal a particular object from this theater. Basically, the theater was owned by the local organized crime group, and they used this as a test to see if potential recruits could pull off stealth missions.
    So the PCs end up setting the neighbouring building on fire to "create a distraction", then set the theater on fire to "hide the evidence" BEFORE THEY'VE EVEN GONE INSIDE, then dismantle the back door instead of unlocking it because the rogue can't pick locks, which sets off the alarm because they didn't bother to search for such things. The rogue goes in alone and searches the now burning building for this item while the rest of the party fucks off. He does manage to find it, but when he gets out the fires and alarm have attracted all sorts of people, including some guards. He's in disguise but he rolled piss poor on the check, so the guard takes one look at him and realizes he's in disguise while he stammers out some excuse for why he's coming out of burning, obviously broken into building. The party was arrested shortly and put to work for the government.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)19:47 No.6359326

    Well we remembered that bees communicate by dancing and the bard figured he could act like a queen bee and lure them away. So we painted him in yellow and black stripes, the warforged made him some deedly-boppers to wear on his head, and the sorceress made him some wire-frame wings. Decked out like a bee, he strolled out in the middle of the pasture and started dancing and playing his flute but nothing happened.

    So we figured we needed to stir the bees out of the hives. We concocted a plan to have the paladin run around in a sort of loop, tackling the hives as he went. Not wanting to get stung himself, sorceress set him on fire (with a protection spell before hand), and he ran around screaming and knocking over the hives.

    Once the task was done, the bard continued his merry dance and song, with the initial plan in mind. Ecstatic we watched with anticipation.

    Only one person survived.


    Video vaguely similar to the bards dance, but he used different words and played a flute, both in game and real life.
    >> Lex the Thread Killer !/7RPATe1bo 10/20/09(Tue)19:49 No.6359346
    Is the warforged named Bender?
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)19:49 No.6359352

    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:50 No.6359364
    see, at least this is awesome in addition to stupid
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:51 No.6359375
    Alright, you win. That IS stupider that I ever would have imagined. I will leave this thread with a new understanding of the world.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)19:51 No.6359376

    Not awesome when even the warforged with a metal body dies from being stung to death.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:52 No.6359383
    If I was the sorcerer, I woulda "forgot" the protection spell.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:56 No.6359430
    ........i think the warforged died from either laughter at how stupid everyone was or from being too stupid to live themselves.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:57 No.6359443
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    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)19:59 No.6359458

    I think I love you.

    This is fucking hilarious, I don't care if it was dumb as long as it was a laugh riot when it happened. Any more tales of DERP?
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)20:01 No.6359483

    No, he was literally stung to death.

    I can't remember his last words;


    Actually that was mostly everyone's last words, except the paladin who burned to death.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)20:02 No.6359498

    Oops, I meant can't forget.


    Things like this happen pretty much every session. Although this isn't really the thread for them...
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:02 No.6359502
    but what about the protection spell
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 10/20/09(Tue)20:04 No.6359516
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    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:05 No.6359536
    Someone has to play this guy sometime. Fuck, I should get that game again.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:06 No.6359541
    >Screaming paladin on fire,running around and knocking bee hives over


    I lol'd so hard I can barely breathe
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)20:06 No.6359543

    It wore off, and since the sorceress teleported out of there she couldn't renew it.

    Ironically, she still died. Because there were bees all around, she had to roll where she went. Bad roll, ended up under a river.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:06 No.6359545
    Oh shit, I thought the submarine story was good. "Okay, light me on fire while I go tackle these beehives." is a new level of hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:07 No.6359547
    I'm just going to come right out and say, Rape-chan, I really want to DM your group. TPK every session just sounds like so much fun, especially since I wouldn't have to plan anything to do it!! Bwhahahahhahahaha, but seriously, you're group sounds like a blast to DM for.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)20:08 No.6359569

    I've don't DM for my group, but we do switch out from time to time. It's even worse when the only smart person isn't the DM, and one of the stupids are.


    He made a point of saying that his character was making a Mystery of the Druids face during it.
    >> Slaadha, Slaanesh's Long Lost Double Bastard !!5FpvsAzGCPV 10/20/09(Tue)20:09 No.6359577
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    Now, with a theme song!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:11 No.6359597
    >Screaming paladin on fire, running around, tackling bee hives and doing Mystery of the Druids face

    ok, I died now
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:13 No.6359616
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    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:15 No.6359642
    This thread is incredible.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)20:20 No.6359716
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    Looking back, this thread got terribly derailed.

    Sorry 'bout that.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:23 No.6359754
    I don't think it matters, the derail was fucking hilarious!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:24 No.6359776
    Um, I think I speak for all of us when I say this... MOAR!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MOAR OF YOUR GROUPS HILARIOUS HIJINKS!!!
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:24 No.6359779
    lol'd quite audibly
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:29 No.6359852
    tears of laughter here my friend
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:31 No.6359871
    All right, to add to the retarded things that parties did.

    Me and 3 other players were traveling via airship, owned by some mysterious guy. He went off the airship, and two of us (the retarded half of the team) found out that he is planning on something incredibly evil. So they've decided to stop him, and to delay him before we have a plan, they've decided to stop the ship.

    Bastards went down to the engine room and saw a huge device, powered by a small crystal. That was the ships engine. One of them took the crystal to turn the engine off. Then they went: "Damn... we need to hide it somewhere so the evil guy won't find it and re-ignite the ship". So the other one ate it.

    A fucking power crystal. In the airship. Half a mile above ground, midflight.

    Luckly for me, I've been obsessed with gryphons and had a gryphon mount, so I took the other guy and we flew off the falling ship.

    GM was awesome however. Not only he made them survive a friggin crash with explosion of magic engine, one of the guys developed a glassy skin, and the other one (rogue) was glowing afterwards.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)20:36 No.6359938

    I can give short descriptions, but for full on accounts, that would be best for another thread. Some recent ones;

    - Instead of doing some honest work or getting into the BBEG's fortress the normal way, our group trekked up to the mountains to steal an airship from some gnomes. Long and pointless quest later we end up with a pirate airship, filled with rum, wenches, and accordion playing merry pirates. Back to the BBEG, we decided to crash the whole damn thing into his tower, exactly as it was, wenches, rum, merry pirates and all. Beyond that stupidity, as we're about to evac we find the Kender had hidden our parachutes except his own. We all died and he floated down to safety... into the waiting forces of the now dead BBEG. Slow tortured to death.

    - We had to fight this demonic lord, and so figured why not pit his own kind against him, by capturing some demons ourselves? Utilizing the help of several wizards and artificers, we constructed a a rudimentary steam engine and cars to be towed. Opening a portal to Hell, we drove in blowing the whistle and yelling "HERE COMES THE SLAVIN' TRAIN!" through the magical megaphone. Everyone died died and we had to rethink the plan.

    - We had to rob a bank for a magical item, and ended up blowing up the cliff it was on, casting the whole town into the sea (we were under it). Retry and we're a safe distance away, but only afterward do we realize that we didn't get the item, and the bank is now under the sea. One more retry by pleading with the DM, and we actually successfully break into the vault where the item is! Then once inside blow it all up. We got the item but then realized we were under the sea once again. Game restarts.

    Just a few.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:38 No.6359960
    We were playinh a WWII based game, and we were foolhardy. All but one of our guys died when we tried to cross an area called "The Shooting Gallery". How is this especially stupid?

    We tried to get across by sneaking THROUGH the center of the zone, which was a building that was described as a "sniper hive" by the commanding officer. Needless to say, the only guy that lived was the guy who took cover instead of trying to fire back at the snipers inside.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 10/20/09(Tue)20:43 No.6360030
    rolled 3, 16, 8 = 27

    How does robbing a bank = blowing up a cliff?
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:45 No.6360054
    ok so i dug this up from my wifes journal.
    its titled one undead dwarf and 2 thousand litres of water.
    i am Laurie.

    Tonight is the night that Laurie killed Riley twice. Being Sunday, one of the few days that everybody has free unless they like organised religion of the Jesus-based kind more than role playing, Matt, Jess, Laurie, Riley and I got together to continue our DandD campaign. This is by far the best thing I have ever witnessed playing.Riley made a new character, sop we had the task of working him in. We were on our way to check out a secret monster auction in the old city, when we came across his character taking on three zombies.
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 10/20/09(Tue)20:45 No.6360057

    We were convinced that explosives somehow needed to be used. The idea was to blow up the cliff, and cause the bank to topple over. Unfortunately the explosives were too powerful or the cliff to weak, and it caused an avalanche of sorts, taking the town with it.

    For some reason we never deviated from that plan, choosing instead to try and find ways to work with it.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:46 No.6360066
    Before leaving, Laurie had decided to trade in the ruby that he found (his one remaining item after his armour and weapons were stolen last week by Shannon Gnoll) to Nick, the potions master, for (although he was offered 100 gold for it, which would have been nice to bolster our account of 3.5 gold pieces) a lucky dip of six potions. No body should ever trust Dr. Nick, and like his name, he has an accent to match. Never trust a salesman with an accent. So, we end up with a fire potion, an anti-fire potion, an anti-venom, a strength potion, a healing potion, and an anti-undead potion. The effectiveness of these, we thought would be dubious at best.

    So, we run into RIley’s character. He’s fighting a small group of zombies on his own, so Laurie decides to throw the anti-undead potion into the crowd, killing off the zombies and making Riley feel curiously cold over the next two days. He finds out, at the end of the second day, that he has indeed stopped breathing and has transformed into an undead ghoul, to which, over dinner, Laurie serenaded Riley with a rendition of “Zombie” by the Cranberries, which went along the lines of:

    I threw a potion which hit you in the head, in the he-ea-ed, and now you’re a zombie, zombie, zombie.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:47 No.6360077
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:48 No.6360089
    So, after attending a secret monster auction, having Jess’ chartacter forced on a date with a kobold, finding someone speared to a wall, looting some awesome jewelery that earned us twelve free healings and free accommodation and returning to town, we are send on a quest to bring the council the head of a half orc, Norris the Grey.

    So, we go down a well after clearing out twenty odd kobolds firing at us, and do the fun secret passage thing. Then, we get absolutely fucked. There we are, cornered into a room. Laurie was fighting off five goblins and three orcs single handedly (to accentuate his manliness), while Riley, Jess and I were fighting off another four goblins and three orcs, while taking the odd hit at Norris the Grey. Everyone, statistically, was pretty much dead. I managed to get away from the orcs and behead Norris the Grey after Riley paralyzed him with his ghoulish undead powers, at which point, laurie thought he might try unleashing the “anti-fire” potion on his enemies to keep them back.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:49 No.6360103
    Little did he know, but the anti-fire potion was actually two thousand liters of water, obliterating all but one of the enemies in our path, and almost drowning us all as the water level rose to chest height for all of those who were not dwarves. I end up nose deep in water. The orc that got hit with the brunt of the water took 150 hit point of bludgeon damage, and everyone else got thrown into a wall. Riley technically took enough damage to die again in the explosion, but the bad thing about being undead is that instead of falling unconscious at 0 hit points, you simply cease to exist.

    We are lucky we have a fun DM and he let both RIley and I take reflex saves against the torrent of water, leaving us both fairly near death. The moral of the story is don’t buy from traders with accents, and don’t let Laurie near any character of Riley’s. Riley went into this game thinking “it’s okay, Matt won’t kill me.”
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:52 No.6360127
    How burning half the bank with a flamethrower while dressed as firefighter is robbing it? True story
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)20:55 No.6360164
    A plan without a good explosion is no plan in my books.
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)21:03 No.6360265
         File1256087013.png-(23 KB, 491x407, JUST AS PLANNED.png)
    23 KB
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)21:05 No.6360294
    fuck yes
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)21:17 No.6360458
         File1256087865.png-(26 KB, 910x332, I DIDN'T KNOW HALF ORCS WERE M(...).png)
    26 KB
    >> Anonymous 10/20/09(Tue)21:28 No.6360603
    Officially stealing this potion for my campaign
    >> Anonymous 10/21/09(Wed)00:23 No.6362763
    ....Oh my.

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