He should play heavy.

It was utterly impossible for me to try and read these in a voice other than his

>>6395198
Outsmart heavy voice? Impossible.

Half-orc barbarian

>>6395179

YOU DO NOT HELP HEAVY WEAPONS GUY.

YOU TRY TO MAKE FUN OF ME, LEETLE MAN?

HUH?

>>6395212
Half-Orc? Psh. Clearly a Goliath.

>>6395217

lol@pic

>>6395217
Everyones making fun of you, big guy. Your gattling gun doesn't seem to impress them.

>>6395217

Play a Neutral Evil Orc specializing in Heavy Weapons.

>>6395230

Sasha is a whore

>>6395230
He's compensating for something else.

Ahright, ya big palooka, I'll help ya, but I needs to know which voishun yer planning on playin'.

YOU THINK YOU ARE FUNNY?

HEAVY WILL CRUSH YOU.

HEAVY HAS USED RAGE DRAKE'S FRENZY!

>>6395245

WE ARE PLAYING THE FOURTH EDITION.

ENGINEER SAYS IT IS FOR IMBECILES WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND 'INTRICACIES OF 3.5'. SOLDIER HIT HIM WITH SHOVEL.

>>6395279
>HEAVY HAS USED RAGE
Who doesn't use it here.
We're pretty immune for that. In fact, we feed on it.

I zink ve should play Exalted instead. Pretendink to be der übermensch has a certain appeal.

Half giant psychic warrior with expanshon and a sizing full blade and monkey grip

at level one thats 4d8 +1.5x str mod

>>6395299
What the hell did you do to the ceiling, doc?

>>6395308

he's watching you masturbate.

>>6395299

FRIEND MEDIC!

YOU SEEMED SO EXCITED TO PLAY FEMALE HALF-ELF CLERIC.

WHY CHANGE MIND?

>>6395319
>he's watching you masturbate.
>>6395321
>YOU SEEMED SO EXCITED TO PLAY FEMALE HALF-ELF CLERIC.

Horny doc is horny.

>>6395305

HEAVY WEAPONS GUY THINKS YOU ARE PLAYING THE WRONG EDITION.

>>6395170
In short, stat him.

>>6395337
Heavy can make some frightening faces.

Hey mates, why don't we just play some Dark Heresy instead? Maybe Call of Cthulhu? I promise I won't throw 'jarate' on the Frenchman again.

Although it was funny. Scout laughed so hard he pissed his pants.

>>6395345

I FEED OFF YOUR FEAR, LEETLE MAN.

>>6395347

YOU SHUT UP, SNIPER. YOU PICKED LAST WEEK'S GAME.

IS NOT HEAVY'S FAULT YOU FUMBLED THEN ROLLED A CRIT AND SHOT YOURSELF IN FACE WITH OWN GUN WHILE TRYING TO PURGE HERETICS. IS HEAVY'S TIME IN LIMELIGHT.

>>6395321
No, zat vas ze Spy. I vould never play as a half-human abomination. I haff standards, after all. I might create one, but zat is completely different. Besides, I haff no god other zan SCIENCE!

>>6395347
>>I promise I won't throw 'jarate' on the Frenchman again.

>Although it was funny. Scout laughed so hard he pissed his pants.

Scouts can Jarate as a free action? sweeeeeeet

>>6395364

THEN YOU WERE HUMAN ARTIFICIER?

OR WAS THAT ENGINEER?

HEAVY WEAPONS GUY IS CONFUSED, AND JUST TRYING TO MAKE A BALANCED PARTY.

ITT: samefaggotry

>>6395365
I'm gonna let you in on a secret, mate. Pissin' yet pants and makin' Jarate are completely different things.

My kidneys are former husks of what they once were. They're worse than Demo's liver.

>>6395400
Like I fucking care

MMF! Mmmph fmm mhhmm mmfff mmph hmmmm hmph! Hmmf hrmmm hrrrrr hm?

>>6395400

HEAVY WEAPONS GUY THINKS YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN AND HAVE SOME TEA. IS HELP WITH YOUR LACK OF SENSE OF HUMOR, AND MAKE IT HURT LESS WHEN HEAVY PULLS STICK OUT OF YOUR ASS.

>>6395419
>MMF! Mmmph fmm mhhmm mmfff mmph hmmmm hmph! Hmmf hrmmm hrrrrr hm?

listen to this man, he is wise beyond his years.

>>6395400
Zat is a common misconception. I am, in fact, a completely different person from der Heavy Weapons Guy.

>>6395379
Zat vas der Engineer. I vas playink Baldur's Gate vhen you vere pickink zis veek's game.

>>6395419
...Yes, yes we COULD play Burning Wheel.

Son, I have been playing this game since having a 3 in your AC was thought of as a good thing.

I have traveled to the pits of hell and shaken hands with Asmodeus, and I have drank a beer with Zaphkiel. Orcus has tasted the edge of my steel more times than I can count. I have fought countless hordes of the undead, and emerged on top. Now then, I have one question to ask you all, if you're man enough to answer.

WHERE IN SUN TZU'S HIDDEN TOMBSTONE ARE THE GOD DAMN CHEETOS?

>>6395464

THEN WHY DO YOU LAUGH AT HEAVY WEAPONS GUY WHEN HE ASKS FOR HELP WITH MAKING CHARACTER?

CHEETOS ARE IN PANTRY.

Whew! That mask's a real scorcher!

As I was saying, you boys don't mind if I join your game, do you? I'm real big into the whole roleplaying thing, and I've already got some characters rolled up. I even have a whole bag full of dice we can all use! Well, not so much a BAG, more of a purse, but it's filled with dice.

>>6395464
>WHERE IN SUN TZU'S HIDDEN TOMBSTONE ARE THE GOD DAMN CHEETOS?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand THAT'S when I fell out of my chair laughing.

>>6395486

WHAT IS THIS

>>6395495

it's called a woman you homosexual.

try to learn the basics please.

>>6395464
Vhat is it vith you and der Cheetos? Zey are alvays in der pantry! Every! Single! Time!

Dumbkopf!

Anyvay, Exalted. How about it?

>>6395484
Carry on then, private.

DIBS ON WIZARD. SUN TZU INVENTED MAGIC.

>>6395508
He's just surprised. In whatever eastern bloc nation he came from, women do not look like that. They look more like trolls or turnips.

>>6395516

USUALLY TURNIPS.

HAIRY TURNIPS. OCCASIONAL GEM, BUT THEY ARE COLD LIKE MOTHER RUSSIA.

>>6395464
>>6395510

'ey Buckethead, get me another Dew while yer up, eh?

>>6395510
In Exalted, Sun Tzu beat all der ozzer gods and is vorshiped by zousands as der Unconquered Sun.

>>6395486
Unt ze guns shoot fire.

>>6395509


You know..you can stick yer exaulted rightuperass!*Swig*

Fuckin bitch..

HEY! SNIPER! GO GET THE 3.5 BOOKS!

>>6395508
That's a dude, dude. Too much obsession with women being the only ones allowed to look pretty means that even women go for women. That means dudes who look like chicks get more chicks, creating dudes who look like chicks.

>>6395563

I don't think that Demo is a 3.5e fag....

Wait, explosive runes.

FFFFF

thread is win /tg/ congrats.

>>6395552
I AM YOUR SUPERIOR AND YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS SUCH. THAT IS FLEET ADMIRAL BUCKETHEAD TO YOU, MAGGOT, AND YOUR REQUEST FOR ADDITIONAL RATIONS HAS BEEN GRANTED.
>>6395556
THAT'S WHAT YOU TOLD ME ABOUT KORD.
>>6395563
THAT'S THE KIND OF TALK I LIKE TO HEAR.

>>6395563

Yer glaswegian es fekkin shite ye Spey!

Nee pissoof wit cher Dishun' Warse ye fekkin scuggan!

>>6395563
Oh, great. Ze Demoman vill try to get us to approve anozzer of his broken Cyclops fighters. Für ze last time, VE DON'T ALLOW MONSTER RACES!

>>6395605

Wait, the TF2 universe has a 3.5e edition where monster races and fighers are broken?

>>6395566
Would you rather I keep the mask on? I won't lie, I get a little....wild with it on.

HMMMPFHHHH HHHHHMMMMMMMMMMM FPHHHHHMMM HMMMPH.

>>6395597
Then Medic does not know his Exalted. Sun Tzu is Kord's superior in the heavenly games of asskicking known as the Crimson Panoply of Battle.

>>6395619

Wait, did you say you wanted hot dickings?

>>6395619
I like how you look with it off, but I like you even better when you're wild.

um, who is dming this thing?

>>6395656

The Announcer.

Duh.

>>6395660
where is he at? shouldn't he have the ultimate say on what everyone is playing for the night?

>>6395660
BEHOLDER has drained your intelligence!

>>6395635
>>6395638

HAHAHAHAHA TOO LATE, GENTLEMEN!

On to ze more pressing matters of ze night, I would be more zhen happy to play 'Dungeon Master' of ze night. If we are all fine with ze laborer doing so, I shall cover ze role of rogue. It's not as if traps give me any problems, anyways.

>>6395672

She's a woman man.

And she only makes announcements when everyone is ready.

>>6395695
That's not Pyro. That's a novelty whore dressed up in Pyro's clothes. You might want to run, by the way, since you didn't think to move his flamethrower with his outfit.

>>6395660
*sigh* Fine...I will do this. Just strap yourselves in, ladies, no offense to our local slut intended.
>>6395672
The knowledge that you exist is a burden on my soul.
>>6395695
Shut your mouth and hand me your cigarettes.

>>6395696
you sure Announcer is a woman, I mean hormone therapy HAS come a long way...

>>6395616
Vhen you give zem Huge grenade launchers, yes, zey are broken. I am pretty sure grenade launchers don't exist in der Forgotten Realms.

>>6395621
Zat vas ze Spy again. He has apparently been dressink up as me lately.

>>6395372
oh wow

>>6395712
Don't worry, I've already got this handled. Just wait until you're enjoying your nightly cigarette on the balcony, buddy. I'm not going to light you on fire. I'm going to Airblast you over to the BLU team and see what they do to you.

THEN I'll light you on fire.

>>6395731
Dude. Insensitive. Even if she was a dude, if she wants to be a chick and puts all the effort into being a chick, call her a chick.

ITT: it was the spy all along, he's playing by himself

>>6395731

FRIENDS, HEAVY HAS DECIDED ON WHAT CLASS TO PLAY.

GOLIATH GREAT WEAPON FIGHTER WITH EXECUTION AXE, FOR CRUSHING PUNY LITTLE COWARDS.

Gentlemen.

The Blue Spy has been taken care of. Pay him no heed, as he has been cavorting around as me. A brilliant plan, yes, I know.

Now then, may I make a suggestion? I have always been a fan of the Eberron setting. Magic as technology? I approve of this. So many wonderful contraptions, and even more ways to find ways to render them useless.

I assume I can still attach an electro sapper to the Lord of Blades like we did the last time we ran Eberron?

>>6395762
would you really call what the Announcer has done with herself as "effort"? Idk man, Admiral Ackbar is silently mouthing some words to me... I'll get back with you...

>>6395777
At last some progress.

>>6395777
Hey Heavy, play as a Goliath Swordmage using a Fullblade.

Rock those thunder/lightning powers

>>6395803
When you compare it with who she used to be? Damn. I'd call that effort worthy of the Augean Stables.

>>6395510
>SUN TZU INVENTED MAGIC.
I lol'd.

wonderful.

>>6395808
> Thunder/lightning
> THUNDERBOLTS AND LIGHTNING
> VERY VERY FRIGHTENING ME!

>>6395777
A fine choice, my gun hefting comrade. You stand at ze front lines, and I will support you from ze shadow, attacking ze enemy healers and causing zem to...pfffft....waste zheir ultimate charges....snnkt....on ME!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Ah, truly, zis is wonderful.

>>6395777
Very well, if everyone has decided, zen I shall haff to join as ze Monk. My body is superior to ze rest of you, a living veapon vizz fists of steel! Mind, body and spirit conditioned to be ze ultimate killink machine! I SHALL BE UNSTOPPABLE!

Anyvay, next time I am pickink ze game, unt ve are playink Exalted.

>>6395721
>>6395806

best part is I've never seen pics of "the announcer" but she's exactly what I imagined as she sounds (and in those pictures, looks) like my aunt.

>>6395372
Wait, there's a CIVILIAN?

>>6395821
trap is still a trap sir, and the Announcer reeks of "trap". Just look at what she/he does to those poor idiots dressed up in red and blue. I mean have you seen the death and carnage?

>>6395808

MAGIC IS FOREIGN TO HEAVY, AND SEEMS LIKE WHAT COWARDS PLAY WITH.

MAGIC IS FOR COWARDS.

HEAVY WILL CLEAVE AND SMITE ENEMIES, AND HAS NAMED CHARACTER VLADOF THE BUTCHER AFTER GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT UNCLE WHO TOOK HEAD OF TZARIST SUPPORTING PIG.

The pyro is hideous whether it is male or female with it's terrible posture and odd proportions.

>>6395852

But heavy you has to use some magic.

In the form of weapons and what not.

Don't be like that douche chaos god.

Y'all don't mind me playin' a different character, do you?

>>6395847
Did you forget what was wrong with the Augean Stables?
>>6395852
Oh god, I can already picture him playing Exalted. Medic, are you sure? That'd be a train wreck.

>>6395852
in honor of your homeland MOTHER RUSSIA, you should wield a great maul for the god of slaughter!

>>6395821
>>6395803
>>6395762
>>6395731
You would do well to join our capture the flag skirmishes. It would clearly be useless for the enemy to attempt to capture your intelligence when it is so pointedly nonexistent.

>>6395852
but heavy, it is simple...

you take big sword, ya? and you add thunder and lightning to it.

it makes big sword loud, scary, and flashy.

also, some powers let you throw sword like boomerang.

Imagine sword boomerang of lightning the size of you

>>6395865
>>6395882

EXECUTION AXE, FOR TAKING HEADS OF PUNY COWARDS. JUST LIKE SCYTHE REAPING WHEAT IN GREAT SOVIET MACHINE TO FEED NOBLE MASSES.

SASHA AND NATASCHA ARE NOT MAGIC. YOU TAKE THAT BACK, LEETLE MAN.

hump

>>6395877
Me unt der Heavy Weapons Guy haff a lot of history togezzer. I trust him completely.

>>6395877
hmmm, no, I don't remember there being much of a problem besides a rather large pile of shit to clean up and not a lot of time to do it in... :/

>>6395901
Magic is 'things that cannot exist by our physics and have no other explaination'. I challenge you to either provide an explanation or prove that what you do with them is physically possible on the BLUs.

>>6395900

HEAVY WEAPONS GUY WILL NOW DO THIS.

>>6395908
Exactly. She's a big pile of shit, and she didn't put much time into changing it.

>>6395901
Idk, Czernobog will be disappoint, he loves his hammers so....

>>6395923

I SHOOT THEM TO PIECES. I SHOOT YOU TO PIECES, TOO, TINY MAN.

>>6395926
everyone makes that face when you start boomeranging a fullblade...

ohhhhh yeah....

>>6395932
*whew* that one when over my head, I get it now, took a little hand holding but I got it.

poor, poor Announcer, I hope her/his DMing skills are better than her/his sex change... for all our sakes.

>>6395901
What's fucking crazy is I made a Warforged Fighter in 3.5 who dual wielded adamantine shields named Sasha and Natascha. I shit you not. He went on to lead a resistance of warforged who eventually overthrew the Lord of Blades as a false dictator, and then went about cleaning the taint from the Mournland, creating factories, jobs, and homes for ALL people of Khorvaire, regardless of class. They then pushed for the name of warforged to be cast aside forever.
"No longer do we serve masters other than our own destinies. We were born in war, but we will choose our own fate. We are strong! We are united! We are...Forged!"

And so they were simply the forged.

We went on even FURTHER to ask House Cannith for a creation forge, "For the right to create more of our kind until we can find a way to reproduce. The DM got shitty about it, so we boycotted their products until we got one.

Holy fuck, that was the sweetest campaign ever, and I even got a drawfag to draw me up Iron Kurtain.

Attention: Sasha has been touched by the men claiming that I am male.

Scout, honey, do you and your friends want anything to drink? I've got some Tang and Rice Krispy squares all made up!

>>6395991
the hell?

female spy?

>>6395991

TANG!

>>6396003
Scout's mom, fool.

>>6395991
> Tang
Ew.
> Rice Krispy squares
Yay!
>>6395975
I did the Augean Stables crack, and I'm female. You should have said 'the people'. YOU FAIL.

>>6396009
oh yeah, DUH

thanks

ALLRIGHTY LADS, I'VE GOT MY CHARACTER ROLLED UP. IF'N YE SAY A GOD DAMN THING, I'LL GOUGE YER EYES OUT WITH A FISH HOOK. I ACTSHUALLY WANT TA ROLEPLAY T'NIGHT, NONE O' THIS DUNGEON CRAWL HACK N' SLASHIN SHIT.

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET'S DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

Demo's letting loose tonight

>>6396013
wasn't me
>>6395967
:/

>>6396013
Insolence... I...

ATTENTION: WE ARE NOW PLAYING CAPTURE THE FLAG AND THIS WOMAN'S HEAD IS THE OBJECTIVE.

HEAVY WEAPONS GUY BROUGHT LITTLE PLASTIC MEN FOR LITTLE PLASTIC BOARD WE DRAW ON WITH LITTLE PLASTIC MARKERS.

THEY ARE SO SMALL! IS FUNNY TO ME.

>>6396026

that was a better accent, leagues better than >>6395563

>>6395991
Zank you very much, miss Scout. I love der Rice Krispy squares.

>>6396003
Scout's mom, bro.

>>6396026

I'm down for some roleplaying if you are, Scottie. Remember when it was just me and Sniper in that one game? Holy fucking CRAP that was awesome.

>>6396044
IT WAS WORTH IT, YOU OLD HAG-WANNABE!

Also, I'm not wearing the mask at the table, I'm only going to do that when I'm running my CoC adventure, or maybe some Vampire the Masquerade stuff. Adds ambiance, y'know?

Hope I don't put you guys off.

IT IS BED TIME FOR HEAVY. HE MUST WAKE EARLY TO MAKE BORSCHT FOR GAME.

Hey, I wanna play a bard. You guys mind if I bring the guitar to the table? I've actually been working on a few songs for the game.

You guys have converted my opinion on roleplayan on /tg/

>>6396108
use medic's gloves, beat juice stains EVERYTHING.

You'll show up for the game and everyone will think you're RED

>>6396118
Yeah, they are pretty fail. Don't let them taint you too much, it can be good sometimes.

>>6396108
Oh come on, man, we haven't even gotten started yet! Ol' hardhat's got a fuckin' metric ton of sentries on the secret crap, so we can pretty much skip tomorrow, long as Mumbles over there torches the place every now and then....

....where's the Spy?

Oh, that MOTHER FUCKER. I mean...the...I....GODDAMMIT MOM.

>>6396114

Sorry darlin', already called it after last week's game.

>>6396126
I vill use these like I always do. Whenever I beat little babies red juice comes out there too.

>>6396072
>Hym hyn ffrr thhhmrrffnning fff huuuhrr, Thhhthhee. Rrrmmmr fffunn thh wuth thuh Thnipah hhnn mmm? Huddhuh ffthnnn thrrp thuh ffuh thuthhmm.
FTFY

>>6396126
But...this IS RED.....

...........


..............
.....................................................

Excuse me for a second, boys.

*thunk* *rustle*

HHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFF


FFFFFFFFFFFHHHMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

>>6396143
FINE. I WILL PLAY THE SORCEROR *AGAIN*. You'd think a girl would get tired of lighting things on fire.

You'd be wrong, though.

Hey, Pyro, are you or any relatives of yours named Chandra?

>>6396184

or Jaya??

> Good roleplaying
You had it...
>>6396161
> *action stars*
And you lost it.

>>6396196
Aren't they more... I dunno... onomatopoeia indicators? I'm not an expert on these things, obviously, but...

>>6396210

seconding the comment.

besides WTF is wrong with *action stars*

or do you mean like emotes

Anona eats a sammich

Feel free not to associate me with this post: ">>6396220"

In fact, please don't.

>>6396220
They're just fine for AIM-roleplaying fifteen year olds. Emotes are preferred, but finding a way to make it fit in naturally without breaking whatever medium you're using is even better. In this instance, the medium was 'people talking'.

>>6396196
Sorry, since I sometimes don't have time to make it to these games, I have to resort to online roleplaying. I like tabletop gaming more, though, if you know what I mean...

>>6396234

I'm kinda hurt Gnollbard.

>>6396247
I'm sorry. It's late, I'm feeling snarky, and your grammar hurt. A lot. I find that if you're going to make an argument, it really helps your case if the response looks good.

HEAVY HAS DECIDED ON NEXT CHARACTER CONCEPT.

IS ORIGINAL IDEA, DO NOT TAKE IT.

>>6396269
Heavy, you're a fucking Genius. I love it.

>>6396266

Fair enough.

It was.... just a very cold snark from 4chan in general.

>>6396278
Like I said, I'm sorry. I'm not usually that mean, but, like I said... Tonight, I'm just an angry bastard.

>>6396269
.....you son of a BITCH. You ruthless, handsome son of a BITCH.

Great. Just fantastisch! I am gone for one second and der Heavy has gone to bed. Now vhat?

HEY GUYS WE'RE GOIN' ON A BEER RUN, WHAT DOES EVERYONE ELSE WANT? I GOT MORE CHIPS FOR BUCKETHEAD, SORRY, ADMIRAL BUCKETHEAD, I GOT SOME PORK RINDS FOR HARDHAT, LIKE, A DOZEN SANDWICHES FOR PANCAKES, YOU WANT A PACK A' SMOKES, DOLLFACE?

>>6396302
Know any good Exalted games looking for players?

I can has archive, plox?

>>6396314
This is now my fucking background. Thank you so much anon.

>>6396314
No, hon, smoking's bad for your health.

>>6396322
As a matter of fact I do. I vas in ze middle of convincink ze ozzers to join it, but interest seemed low. Zey just didn't haff der conviction necessary to be der führers of Creation.

>>6396342
No problem at all, my anonymous brother.

As the contributor of a good portion of this thread, I must bid you all adieu.

TUNE IN NEXT TIME, WHEN THE GANG SITS DOWN AND ACTUALLY PLAYS.

>>6396356
HMMRPH HHHHMHPH HHMMPH HHH.

>>6396314

Gentlemen, please! Calm yourselves.

Hmm... what would be a good class for me?

>>6396314

Let me think here... Aha! I know. Grab me some andy capp's hot fries will you? And a Barq's root beer, if you'd be so kind.

>>6396406
Some say he is der Demoman's older brother. Some say he isn't even in ze game unt vas just created in Gary's Mod. All ve know is, he's called Der Stig!

>>6396431

Quiet, you.

>>6396431
> demoman's older brother
Not with that skin-tone he isn't.

>>6396463

Bitch better not be making judgements he don't know jack about.

>>6396480
"Bitch" be sayin' anything he wants. You're more likely to be related to medic than demoman, with that skin tone. Unless there's adoption involved?

>>6396488

NEVER underestimate the power of scrumpy and scottish hookers.

ARCHIVE

Everything in this thread is perfect.

Except for the god damn female pyro. It's obviously a male. How many girls sound like muffled? God damn. Unless the pyro is secretly the announcer also.

I HAVE RETURNED, LEETLE MEN. HEAVY WEAPONS GUY COULD NOT SLEEP BECAUSE HE ATE SOME TEX-MEX WITH ENGINEER.

HEAVY WEAPONS GUY WILL NEVER EAT TEX MEX AGAIN.

CHARACTER BUILDER UPDATES IS NOT WORKING, HOWEVER. HEAVY WEAPONS GUY WOULD LIKE MOST RECENT VERSION THAT HAS 'REVENGE OF THE GIANTS' AND OTHER THINGS ADDED INTO DATABASE, SO THAT HE MAY MAKE UP-TO-DATE REPRESENTATION OF SELF IN GAME.

brilliant

>>6396639

Mmhphmphmphph?

>>6396639 I have yet to meet man who can outsmart tex-mex ass-pain.

THE VOICES MAKE THEM STOP!

>>6398973
FUCK YOU this is the most amazing thing i have seen in weeks. every last post im reading them in their voices and i cant stop.