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    42 KB I need to kill everyone in my party. Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:14 No.6741973  
    After lots and lots of bickering, the lines in the sand have been drawn between me and the rest of my party. I have decided to stay and defend a small-town mining operation that is causing the small town near by to flourish. The rest of my party has decided to join the opposing band of hippy druids who don't want us to steal from the land. They are coming to destroy us.

    Me, level 6 Human Monk (lolsofucked) with adequate grappling, tripping, and disarming skills and a wand of enlarge person.
    50~ish level 1 townspeople militia
    Lots of mining equipment.

    Elf Rogue, Elf Druid, Half-orc Bard, Gnome Sorcerer, and a Warforged Fighter. All around level 6.
    A small band of strong NPC druids.

    I was planning on using traps made from miner's dynamite and tanglefoot bags from town, but I just know there has to be a better way. There's got to be some potential in 50 able bodies to throw around.

    So, /tg/, how do I beat my party?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:16 No.6741981
    rocks fall, everybody dies
    >> Sergeant Alexandros II !PhseAMrpPY 11/17/09(Tue)05:17 No.6741993
    Overlapping fields of fire?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:17 No.6741999
    I'm quite impressed by your resolve OP, which makes up for your shitty taste in character classes.

    Tell me, do you guys have at least heavy crossbows?
    >> Tech Priest Naile 11/17/09(Tue)05:18 No.6742003
    I... uhh wow. That pretty much works yeah.

    Block off any road you can into the mining town and set up ambushes anywhere else. Send out a bunch of minions to the nearest place to beg the mining corp's overseers for help. Play a stalling game and hold them off for as long as you can. Try to form your miners into groups, taking shifts and harrasing the enemy group with guerrilla tactics.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:18 No.6742007
    >got to be some potential in 50 able bodies to throw around

    It's like you're just asking someone to tell you to use a Miner Railgun.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:19 No.6742015
    Do you have any diplomacy to speak of?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:19 No.6742016
    Cast enlarge person on yourself multiple times.
    Insert party members into your anus.
    Claim your sphincter counts as grappling.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:19 No.6742017
    dynamite hugs from the disposable miners
    >> Tech Priest Naile 11/17/09(Tue)05:23 No.6742047
    I don't think the miners would be very happy about that.
    >> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2 11/17/09(Tue)05:23 No.6742048
    Sac the townspeople to ashnod's altar and hit them with a fireball
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:23 No.6742052
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    OP, you are an inspiration. See if you can rally nearby mining towns to come to your aid. I'm sure you could make a case that once these hippies clear out this town, the others are next. That said, if your DM sides with the rest of the party, well, you'll die gloriously at least.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:26 No.6742080
    How many charges on your wand?

    Maybe if you could make some big miners BIGGER, you could have them throwing rocks/building walls/kicking dudes asses.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:26 No.6742082
    This could work.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:27 No.6742085
    ARMOUR OF GOD this up your a monk, dynamite vest and abuse that evasion. That rogue will be easy pickings once the rest party from dynamite.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:27 No.6742097
    If they're going to kill you, you may as well make them suffer. Burn all of the forests, use your manpower to make nature pay for sending these poorly written World of Warcraft druids after you.

    Also Druids willing to kill off over a town of peasants to halt small scale mining? Thats a fucking crock, your DM is a shit writer.

    Druids aren't just genocidal cunts and they would probably avoid wiping a village off the face of the earth for some rocks. If it was logging and mass poaching maybe, but they'd have to be a pretty big blight on nature to warrant death.

    My suggested strategy would be to board up all the houses and lock the mine and evacuate to somewhere with national guard or the army (who would 100% side with the village, not being retards) and wipe the druids off the face of the earth.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:30 No.6742117
    1. Equip them all with heavy crossbows and tanglefoot bags. (Or better gear if you can manage)

    2. Find a place where they can all have improved cover as the enemy enters the building or room, if your party is known for ranged. If not, be sure to go over with your DM how they're going to be arranged so that a fucking fireball can't take them all out.

    3. Brief them on the appearance of the gnome. You'll want to focus fire him first. Then the casters, etc.

    What I particularly recommend is trying to think of any area that you can catch them in something of a bottleneck with the dynamite, hopefully trapping the party in a collapse with the first few in front being easy pickings for crossbowmen.

    ALSO... if you can, go over the rules for improved cover and difficult terrain. If you can figure out a place that the enemy HAS to come at you from one direction, you can easily strew enough rocks and such to make the whole path difficult terrain. 50 people with heavy crossbows focus firing on spellcasters for the lengthly time it takes for them to cross a crossbow's range of difficult terrain is gonna rape the enemy.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:30 No.6742118
    >>which makes up for your shitty taste in character classes
    Oh, I am keenly aware that monks are terrible. Most of the group was very new, so I wanted to handicap myself to let everyone else play too. That has backfired on me.

    >>Tell me, do you guys have at least heavy crossbows?
    The men have been training with simple longswords, attacking practice dummies. I do believe that hailfire of ranged attacks would work better than zerging them with little 6hp bloodbags, though. Good call.

    >>Do you have any diplomacy to speak of?
    The whole session tonight was everyone trying to convince everyone else. I have a shit diplomacy and CHA.

    >>rally nearby mining towns
    I would if I could. I should have mentioned that I only have half a day before they march on us. Maybe that's enough time for a The Two Towers-type last-minute rescue.

    >>How many charges on your wand?
    I have about 45 charges left. I considered doing this, but it would only help out in setting up an ambush. 45 large sized miners sounds great, but in reality, they'll still be level 1s that will die in one hit to everything. Perhaps that'll be enough to intimidate them, though.

    Yeah, so far, it looks like roadblocks and dynamite avalanches. simple and sweet.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:30 No.6742121
    There are NE druids too dumbass
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:31 No.6742126
    If you can set up a ravine ambush, it's ezy mode. Enlarge person on people on the top sides, rocks fall everyone dies.

    Tanglefoot bags and the like to stop them getting out.

    If there's no ravine, drop mines on the land and summon more people from the nearby town, then root out the druids.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:31 No.6742128
    They might still not fight for shit, but Large miners could sure move some huge shit to make barricades and the like.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:32 No.6742134
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    This. Fucking hippy druids. I hate them.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:32 No.6742135
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    I've got some nukes if you're interested...
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:33 No.6742139
    1) Line up the peasants single file facing the direction the enemy will approach from. (you may need regular townspeople to get a long enough line)

    2) Hand a quarterstaff to the guy at the back.

    3) Have every single peasant ready an action of passing the quarterstaff forward

    4) Once the faggots appear, have all of the peasants blow their readied action.

    5) The quarterstaff should cross the distance of the spaced peasants in 6 seconds, if you make this something like 2 kilometers of peasants it will be travelling at mach 2.


    7) Watch faggots explode
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:33 No.6742143
    they're acting exactly like NE druids, weeaboo.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:34 No.6742149
    Holy shit, what?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:34 No.6742151
    >>Also Druids willing to kill off over a town of peasants to halt small scale mining? Thats a fucking crock, your DM is a shit writer.
    They aren't planning on killing us. They just want to destroy our operations since, honestly, we're hurting the land. They'll most likely entangle everyone and nonlethal us all.

    Just the mining operation, they won't touch the town.

    Enlarge person doesn't stack, but if it did, that would be the first thing I would do. Not the people in my anus thing, just the 'get really, really big' part.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:35 No.6742158
    Page number for momentum rules?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:35 No.6742160

    I live in BC, Canada. Forest fires can travel at 50+ kilometers an hour, especially since some trees will have sap boil, explode, and send bits of burning shit hundreds of yards past the fire's advancing line, making smaller fires that feed into the main one.

    Laugh at them.

    Also, make a bottleneck and wait til the casters try to go through it, after it appears safe, and then give them a dynamite surprise while hiding under a trap door. The explosion won't hurt you if you don't jump out when you throw it.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:35 No.6742164
    Only if a round is 6 seconds and readied actions are instant, also you may need a smaller item, like say a rock.

    Other than that HOLY SHIT DO THIS.

    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:35 No.6742165
    Hide all the heavy mining equipment in the mines. Then when they go in to destroy it, collapse the entrance.

    After they've all died of lack of air, dig it open again.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:36 No.6742169
    Don't start this shit.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:37 No.6742177
    It never says this doesn't work, but its for 3e and there
    is roughly a 0% chance the DM will allow it.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:37 No.6742178
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    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:38 No.6742185
    You dont really want to kill them, right? Just defend mining colony.
    Use diplomacy. Not skill or rolls will needed. Just tell them that you will set entire forest on fire, if they dont fucking back off.

    Failing that - fortify, let them taste some firepower as they aproach, followed by traps with explosives, or guirella warfare, soften their numbers in city, then retreat to mining tunnels, they will be confused there, and just cave then in by detonating part of it (leaving escape route for yourself and miners, of course)
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:38 No.6742186
    1. Hire a ton of peasants; let's just say that it is two thousand two hundred and eighty. Line them up in single file; this will form a chain of peasants two miles long. It'd be four miles back in MY day (witness me hiking up my 2nd Edition suspenders).

    2. Buy a ladder. Just buy a standard, ten-foot ladder. Disassemble the ladder into a bunch of rungs and a pair of mighty ten-foot wooden poles. Hand a pole to the peasant at the back of line.

    3. First round of combat. Peasant at the front of line readies an action to throw the pole at the enemy. Every peasant behind him readies an action to hand the pole to the peasant in front of him.

    4. Next round: peasants fire off their readied actions, passing the pole two miles down the line and hurling it in six seconds or less. Pole accelerates to the speed of 1200 miles per hour, or a little less than Mach 2 at sea level.

    5. Peasant Railgun can be reloaded and fired in less than 12 seconds.

    better description
    >> OP 11/17/09(Tue)05:38 No.6742187
    lol, this is the kind of shit I was hoping for. Although it might be mechanically justified, it's just too ridiculous for my DM to allow. I will give it a try, though.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:39 No.6742193
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    What the shitting fuck cock. Show your DM and party this thread, and tell them to go climb a wall of dicks. They should all be ashamed of themselves and need to get the fuck back to MMOs where they belong.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:39 No.6742195
    Run away and get help if he says no. The army might have something to say about peasants being massacred for mining their own land.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:40 No.6742197
    Burn down the forest.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:40 No.6742200
    Can you give us a general layout of the town and mining area? Things aren't looking good, but I've pulled some amazing stunts out of my ass before, give me more info and I'll try to think of something.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:40 No.6742203
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:40 No.6742208
    Agreed, these people probably read druids like nature in the first line of the 4e PHB section, assumed it was WOW based and shat out a terrible story.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:41 No.6742210
    It is not "mechanically justified" any more than "There are no rules limiting the pressure of human urine, so I climb onto the walls and piss on them at 200,000psi, punching clean ammonia-smelling holes through their bodies where each drop hits them". It's contrary wankery of the worst kind, taking an absence of rules so obvious they shouldn't need to be written down as proof the rules don't apply.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:42 No.6742213

    Agreed, I'm a tactician, and this needs a layout of the town.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:43 No.6742219
    Explosives are your big advantage against magic-users. They're a relatively small but powerful group attacking a much larger group, so you need to maintain a strong perimeter - they won't necessarily advance en masse, and might try sending individual infiltrators in to fuck up your efforts. Be on the lookout for saboteurs.

    So. Traps. Lots of traps. Depending on the properties of your dynamite (can it be set off by impact, or does it require a blasting cap and fuse to detonate?) you can rig up plenty of traps on the way to the mine.

    Divide up the dynamite into portions small enough to still make a decent bang, and put it in an earthenware jar full of bits of stone or nails or other shrapnel-type stuff. Ta-da, you have anti-personnel grenades, and druids don't wear metal armour.

    If this is in a mountainous region, rockfalls are an obvious choice. Lay an ambush and have the miners hidden up above the route to the mine, ready to roll rocks and/or more explosives on the enemy.

    Turn your miners into sappers. Build an ostentatious barricade around the entrance to the mine, and have bowmen or others with missile weapons behind it. Find the range of your bowmen. Beneath this spot, have your miners dig tunnels and rig up a shit-ton of explosives. With luck the approaching attackers will pull up just beyond their reach, at which point you detonate the explosives beneath their feet.

    Incendiary bombs. Containers of lamp-oil with dynamite inside.

    Also, kill any wild animals you find snooping around the mine. I'm not sure, but it might be that the druids could use animals to spy for them. Don't take any chances.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:44 No.6742227
    no, it abuses a technical fault.

    A round = 6 seconds.
    All readied actions = instant, totally instant

    Its different from what you said, because the way its described its possible, but with common sense it becomes clear it isn't. What you described is totally impossible outside of FATAL, there aren't even rules to cheese it off.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:44 No.6742233
    Cite "all readied actions are instant"?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:44 No.6742235
    I agree with the person who said "ambushes everywhere", BUT, I know a potent blend.

    If the mining town has large stocks of silver, I'd suggest creating Silver Azide: Basically, you mix ammonia, silver, and add in a gracious amount of lye in an unholy alchemical blend. It's ACTUALLY stronger than TNT...though pretty fucking volatile. Blast Globe equivalent.

    Besides that, I'd suggest rigging the mining town itself. Get everybody as kitted up with ranged weapons as possible, and teach what you can to the militiamen. Besides that, slip back and do an insurgency. Druids are spellcasters: They're good for SHIT up close, provided you don't let them wildshape.

    As such, have your militia guerilla warfare the fucking hippies. Have them wait in treetops with crossbows/bows and arrows as you use your unarmored speed bonus to draw the druids closer. They will NOT be able to cast with arrows raining down on them.

    If the rogue/Warforged are trying to get up in your face, have your miners draw back to the outskirts of the village, where you'd have them (previously) mine out a deep trench and a series of tarp-covered foxholes. When the signal is given for retreat, have your surviving men back in the main area fill the foxholes OUTSIDE of the trench with oil (So as to make them hard to get out of),), as well as slicking up the trench.

    Then, have most of your men hold out in the trenches on the other side. Without anywhere to flank, the enemy will be forced into a direct assault (Provided you ensure the trench is RIGHT before the mine entrance).

    Once inside of the mines, rocks-fall-everything-dies as necessary, using ventilation shafts as emergency escape routes (That can be mined out with whatever's left of your troops when the battle is won)
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:46 No.6742243



    Make sure to make it fire bullet shaped rounds, because there is a good reason cannon balls and musket shot went out of style.
    >> insert pun here 11/17/09(Tue)05:46 No.6742246
    give your DM a call. tell him that this is your plan. You chose a crap class to give the others a headstart, and now your superior knowledge of the game is going to kick the living shit out of them.

    for extra effect, grab whatever contact explosives you can find, and stick it on the quarterstaff that's being thrown.

    can anyone say 'cruise missile'?
    >> noko Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:46 No.6742251
    My suggestion.

    1. Enlarge a few of your towns folk so they can easily move buildings and build fortifications.

    2.Have a few people dig explosives where you plan to funnel them, so you can detonate them as your party prepares to retaliate

    3. Use dynamite to funnel in your fuck head team mates

    4. Blow up said dynamite

    5. RAIN DOWN CROSSBOW DEATH(focus fire the gnome first)

    Note: make sure your level 1 meatbags are spread far enough apart as not to all get killed by 1 fireball. Also to fire faster it may be more effective to have 25 crossbow men with one peasant having a ready'ed action to hand the the other a loaded crossbow switching crossbows and repeating.
    >> OP 11/17/09(Tue)05:47 No.6742256
    Well, this is the first time violence has broken out in this area, so having a tactical layout of the whole area hasn't been made yet. I'm requesting it as soon as he has it drawn up.

    so far all that is concrete is that we are at the upper parts of the mountain. There is a mine entrance that leads into three levels below with a second entrance that leads to the other side of the mountain at the end of the third, deepest level.

    The town is a small village that is currently expanding due to the increased revenue from the mine. It probably will not see any of the fighting.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:47 No.6742258
    That particular rule hole is so dicussed its not funny.
    Google "Readied Action"
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:48 No.6742263
    Go scroched earth on thier asses?
    Worked for the commies
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:48 No.6742268
    > I need to kill everyone in my party.
    1. Lure all the attackers into the mine, blow up the mine and cause cave in.
    2. ????
    3. PROFI- Well actually no, you would loose quite the resource but the party would be dead!
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:49 No.6742276


    THEY HAVE THE SPELL "Soften Earth and Stone"

    You will fucking die.
    >> Tech Priest Naile 11/17/09(Tue)05:49 No.6742278
    Nah. You could just mine it out again.

    You got to try and pick off their numbers first at any rate. If they walk into the mine unbloodied they'll know it's a trap. You've got to make them think the mine is your hiding place of last resort.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:50 No.6742283

    wizards wrote an extensive FAQ on ALL the problems with these rules, for instance the trigger action is moved to after the readied action. So technically the guy at the front threw the spear first.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:51 No.6742291
    Which is why Read as Written is like dividing by zero.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:53 No.6742306
    Well, the trigger action occurs, the readied action moves to the initiative position before the trigger. If the trigger is man behind me passes me quarterstaff and the reaction is to take the quarterstaff and pass it to guy in front it works.

    Although thats taking one RAW interpretation at the cost of another, or you could take both and destroy the universe with the resulting time paradox.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:54 No.6742319
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    Hello, god are you there?

    I have a bug to report.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)05:56 No.6742334
    Also, do what you can to anticipate their abilities and counter them. What spells have you seen the party's druid use? How about the sorceror? What are their effects, what are their limitations? How could you guard against the effects, or exploit the limitations? Do any of them have abilities that could change the rules of engagement, like flight or scrying or suchlike?

    The magic-users are the biggest threat, since they can do big damage at range. Definitely take them out first. Fortunately magic-users tend to be pretty squishy. Fire, explosions and shrapnel should do the job. Dropping lots of rocks on the heavier fighters should take them down as well.

    Be wary of things like the bard creating illusions, as that could cause your traps to set off early if they're human-triggered. Purely mechanical traps should still be OK, but could be detected and disarmed by the rogue.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:00 No.6742351
    4 main options-

    1) Cheese rules and make a peasant railgun.

    2) Burn woods to preemptively avenge your deaths

    3) Durka Durka Muhammad Jihad

    4) Abandon Town and get the national guard to kill the druids for being cunts and standing in the way of your god given right to strike the earth

    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:01 No.6742357
    These people sided with WoW druids.

    They're going to attack head first as a pack and blow their most powerful spells in the first 3 rounds.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:01 No.6742358
    >1) Ignore rules and make a peasant railgun.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:01 No.6742363
    5) made me lol.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:02 No.6742366
    >I didn't read any of the thread



    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:03 No.6742370
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    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:04 No.6742374
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:04 No.6742375
    You mean the one that requires time to operate in reverse for that particular brand of ass-end stupidity to function? Yes I did in fact.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:04 No.6742376
    Another idea, hire some other adventures
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:04 No.6742378
    Make bundles of hay and light them on fire as they advance towards you, roll them down the hill, burning and crushing people.


    Force them to have to enter a building to catch the miners, and then everyone inside escapes out a trap door or back room, and then collapse it with explosives.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:04 No.6742379
    put oil on rocks fall

    you will get lot of fun
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:06 No.6742390
    Those dudes would mess up those tree humping, dirt eating, hippies
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:06 No.6742391
    Still doesn't say anything denying it in the rules.

    Cite where it says creating a time paradox in the RAW rules is forbidden :3
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:07 No.6742400
    Actually that would be paying attention to the rules.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:07 No.6742403
    If using guerilla tactics with the 50+ militia men, form them into groups (flying columns) of eight or so, with two message runners or lookouts have two groups attack head on and pull back instantly, drawing the party in, slowly encircle them with the other groups. attack with each column and retreat in the same manner, as you tighten the noose, and then with pre-readied traps/dynamite/pitfalls manouever the groups and draw the party into them. Someone suggested earthenware jars filled with stones and such, see if there are any nails, broken glass or anything you can use there too. Go so far as to fill the jars with oil and have them explode firey death upon everything.
    if they are nature loving hippies, wound an animal, and tie it down to some dynamite in a bear trap or soemthing somewhere you know they will come across it. If they stop to help it, KaBOOM!
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:08 No.6742411
    Do you have the Temporal Paradox feat?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:08 No.6742412
    If we are to talk about RAW lets talk about what happens to dead people.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:09 No.6742417
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:09 No.6742418
    - put TNT on children kamikaze

    - uses WTF diversions : gangbang party, naked womans

    - cast enlarge person on animals ( dogs cats etc )
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:09 No.6742423
    Welcome to SILENT HILL
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:09 No.6742424

    Bait an animal with explosives?


    Bonus points if you can delay it until the rogue checks it for traps.
    >> OP 11/17/09(Tue)06:10 No.6742429
    >>Also, kill any wild animals you find snooping around the mine. I'm not sure, but it might be that the druids could use animals to spy for them. Don't take any chances.
    Already done. 50 men who work all day tend to get hungry. Also why the druids don't like us.

    >>Also, do what you can to anticipate their abilities and counter them.
    As I said, since most of the party is pretty new, their specific tactics aren't so much a concern for me. The main concern is that a group of level 6+ PCs are probably going to steamroll level 1 townsfolk no matter what they do.

    The druid is our primary healer. She'll probably stock cure light wounds and either a Spider Swarm or a Flaming Sphere.

    Sorcerer just launches Magic Missiles and a scorching ray every now and then.

    Rogue. Is a rogue. High DEX. That's it.

    Bard is secondary healer/secondary meatshield. He'll just charge at the nearest target with his greatsword and heal if it's necessary.

    Warforged Fighter. Meaty meat. He's got 20 AC, even against touch, which really hurts what my guy does. Since we have no casters, this guy is the biggest problem outside of the NPC druids. He's typical. Big magical sword, lots of HP and AC.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:10 No.6742433
    If the town is flourishing shouldn't there be merchants who care about it being flattened?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:12 No.6742452
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    Heres a suggestion.

    Find a new group.
    >> Blackleaf 11/17/09(Tue)06:14 No.6742464
    There's not going to be a group after he's done. You die in the matrix, you die in real life.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:14 No.6742466
    Find a new group.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:16 No.6742478
    This, get the merchants to help.

    Also seriously, retreat and get the army. Tell them lawless adventurers and druid extremists are threatening to massacre your village.

    200 3rd level human fighters later, problem solved.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:17 No.6742487
    Where is the government?
    >> OP 11/17/09(Tue)06:17 No.6742492
    >>if they are nature loving hippies, wound an animal, and tie it down to some dynamite in a bear trap or soemthing somewhere you know they will come across it. If they stop to help it, KaBOOM!
    I love this. It also makes me frown.

    The operations only started a month or so ago, so there isn't a whole lot there yet. But yes, they should plan on adverse effects on the town, which is why I am able to equip 50 men with lots and lots of mundane items.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:18 No.6742501
    Use l33t sneaking monk skills and dynamite them inadvance
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:18 No.6742503
    If there's a way you can get a message to the town below, i'd send it, so even if things go south, they can contact the army, and there might just be some wandering heroes that would take offense at a bunch of crazy hippies going after the mine.
    >> OP 11/17/09(Tue)06:18 No.6742510
    I'm playing with friends.
    We all know we're terrible. We're just having FUN. Remember that word?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:19 No.6742511
    >The main concern is that a group of level 6+ PCs are probably going to steamroll level 1 townsfolk no matter what they do.

    This is the kind of thinking that leads to people getting raped by kobolds. The solution, my friend, is traps, traps, and more traps. Rockslide ambushes. Leghold traps. Heaps of logs rolled down hills. Punji pits. Razor tripwires. Stampeding cattle funneled into the approaching enemy. Enough flaming oil to light up Hong Kong for the next decade. Whatever you can pull off, do it.

    And yes, you want everybody armed with weapons with range, be it greatspears or heavy crossbows.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:19 No.6742514
    No shit, sounds like a case of Stupid Good to me. Get the Army.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:20 No.6742523
    - change the road sign

    - leave the village put all the chicks in with alcohol and food. Come back and kill them ( or rape while sleeping )

    - put scarecrow in village fill them with dynamite

    - watch Braveheart

    - send three villager looking for mercenaries and help

    - leave the village

    - build a death star

    - pretend to have hostage
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:21 No.6742533
    inb4 the retards he games with metagame their way out of it.

    Night Elf Druid: "What, hes using traps? We are careful of traps"

    DM: "Ok, none of the traps work"
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:22 No.6742539
    If you've only got half a day to prepare that might not be enough time, maybe you should retreat, gather a greater force, them come back and fuck them up?

    Or at least try to get out alive if the fight goes badly
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:22 No.6742544
    Okay, you do have one thing majorly in your direction: Aid Other checks. With 50 peasants, that's a lot of potential +2 bonuses you can get. You can use those for combat (probably a bad choice), Hide checks, Disguise checks, Craft (trap) checks, etc. And a few more things, let me find a thread or two on the wizards forums about minmaxing aid other checks.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:22 No.6742545

    Douse the druid in lamp oil at earliest opportunity. Haha, flaming sphere now, bitch.

    Focus on the druids, then. For the Warforged fighter, your best hope is probably to immobilise him and then go for a coup-de-grace, if possible. I'm not totally familiar with D&D rules, so this is more of a broad tactical suggestion. Lure him into a trap, bury him under rocks. Have a likely-looking melee target stand on the other side of a deep pitfall trap, with spikes and/or dynamite and/or fire at the bottom. Or just fill it in on top of him.

    If you have to retreat back into the mine, try thinking like a kobold.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:22 No.6742546
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    >Also why the druids don't like us.

    leave your DM sucks balls at writing a story plug

    most druids understand the cycle of life that people need to eat to live

    they are very rarely the hippy cunts that eat nothing that casts a shadow
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:24 No.6742570
    Give everyone a ranged weapon and a melee weapon, even women and children.
    I hear you have dynamite, so equip everyone with some of that to use as grenades.

    If you can get the villagers to do it, have them suicide bomb.

    As some have suggested, set fire to the forest to make them angry and impatient.

    Have two groups come at them from opposite sides, shooting them with bows. Have the group they attack retreat while the other group advances.
    When these two groups suffer too many casualties, have them fall back and put two new groups onto the field using the same tactics.

    Finally, when the enemy has been sufficiently weakened, have all the able bodied do one last great charge on their foes.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:25 No.6742575
    Leave a note that says "we're in the mine"

    Rig mine with dynamite

    Problem buried.
    >> OP 11/17/09(Tue)06:26 No.6742587
    I'm just saying that it's not helping our case. The druids don't like us because we're polluting the rivers and killing all the wildlife in the immediate area, spreading more and more each day.

    Still. I think they're asshole bullies who need to leave the problems created by man to be solved by man.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:28 No.6742615

    Chief income for town: buried.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:29 No.6742624
    Here's an idea.

    It's fucking retarded, but it may just work.

    You get a +2 bonus for each helper on a skill check. Forge a note from the society of druids or some shit. You have a +100 minimum on your check.

    Forge document is opposed by forge document.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:29 No.6742634
    I liked the 'leading a stampede towards them' idea. Especially since they're druids.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:30 No.6742642

    If you have every peasant get at least a 10 total roll on their aid other check to assist your, say, hide check, you now have a +100 bonus that stacks with your own roll. Even if only half of them make it, that's enough to ensure that there's no way for someone to find you.

    Then, step out of hiding and gank the sorcerer.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:31 No.6742651
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:32 No.6742663

    Have them all take 10
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:32 No.6742665
    Or from the king of the area. Saying that he or an adviser is coming to mediate the dispute personally, and any violence will be punished harshly. Then use the time to stockpile an army/weapons.

    Problem is, most of the peasants can't assist this roll, as it requires training to even attempt. Odds are nobody in the group knows this though.
    >> NH4NO3 !CH3nO2./t. 11/17/09(Tue)06:33 No.6742667
    Daisy chain explosives. Everywhere.

    You need to turn the town into Iraq. Try to rig some of the explosives into claymores by putting them in front of an iron plate and placing shit that will make good shrapnel on the side facing the enemy's expected approach direction. You might be able to use burning wagons to help funnel them into specific kill zones depending on the levels of the NPC druids.

    Since it's a mining operation they probably have no shortage of explosives, so make sure you use enough in each charge to kill a fair sized dragon. At 3d6 per stick, 10 sticks should leave a fair sized crater and splatter even the NPC druids all over the nearby buildings.

    Send a few runners to the nearest friendly settlement to enlist reinforcements.
    >> OP 11/17/09(Tue)06:33 No.6742679
    How would I go about doing this?

    Also, the Aid Others idea is another mechanically great idea, but I don't think it'll fly. What I've learned from real life, is that, outside of physical labor, 50 retards working together does not help anything.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:36 No.6742701
    Hey, the town should have cattle, right? People gotta eat.

    There's an old chinese true story about a general who confused the crap out of an opponent prior to defeating them by driving a stampede of cattle into the opponent's army's encampment. At night. The cattle had fiery brands tied to their horns and tails and were painted up to look like monsters. Then the first general's army stormed in and destroyed the opponent's army in the confusion.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:36 No.6742708
    -Get local packs of beasts of burden together in a gated pen
    -Funnel advancing forces towards pen through denied terrain, obvious overabundance of traps, etc.
    -Open pen gate once hostiles are in range
    -Startle beasts of burden with loud noises, fire, etc.
    -Guffaw heartily
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:38 No.6742718
    ITT, the dumbest cheesing of RAW rules ever cheesed
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:38 No.6742719

    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:38 No.6742726
    See, unlike the peasant railgun, aid other checks should work. They're reasonable. Especially if it's to create traps. Leading all the way up the mountain. Pit traps, rolling log traps, archers firing a crossbow once and fleeing to a position higher up the hill.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:39 No.6742734
    The fire also should confuse the cows and ensure the druids can't wild empathy check their way out of it.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:39 No.6742736
    Actually, do you have horses? Ride by and throw sticks of dynamite as you pass if you have to
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:39 No.6742740
    >an old chinese true story
    Funny, I thought that was a trick Hannibal pulled versus Fabius. It's referenced in Plutarch, for example.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:40 No.6742744
    oh wait its an animu.
    psh oh well
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:41 No.6742752
    Animu tends to have something of a hardon for the MG42. A rare case of Elevens exhibiting good taste.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:45 No.6742806
    I remember it from an early section of my commented on version of The Art of War. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure they were describing a Chinese general.

    No reason more than one smart general couldn't have used it, it's not the most OH-DAMN-INNOVATIVE thing ever.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:46 No.6742808
    The staff cannon is hilarious, if your DM allows it, quit the game. Shitty DM is Shitty.

    Get the peons to select areas and light the forest on fire. If they don't back the fuck off, the entire thing burns down.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:48 No.6742828
    Yeah, Hannibal used it to distract Fabius' forces so he could pull out of a horrible situation he had gotten marched into by Fabius' relentless shadowing. In his case it was not really used as a tactical stratagem; it enabled his redeployment & withdrawal.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:49 No.6742851
    Kino was so much better as a loli.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:50 No.6742856
    Send some of the men as runners, in pairs or trios to nearby villages/cities to get help.
    Set up dynamyte underground at random spots and trap the entire city, the mines, everywhere, beat traps, punji spikes, pits (They're miners after all) with weak supporst holding the walls up so when someone falls in and then tries to climb out they collapse the pit on themselves.
    Get all the men to move out the town and hide nearby, make sure theres a signal they know which you can use to bring them back in.
    Get the men to make Blast globes, explosives, ect, anything with insane AoE and good damage. Hide in the town and Rambo the Druids. One better, see if you can find some camo and a long bow, go hide in the forest, hunt down the druids and shoot them, prefferably use explosive head arrows, make them afraid to go out in packs of less than 4 or 5, then use blast globes to take out the packs of 4 or 5 in a turn.
    Move all the mining equipment that can be moved either to the deepest point of the mines and then bury it and make it look natural, or out of the town, that way even if they get to the bottom of the mines its a wasted trip.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:58 No.6742924
    High AC eh? A small band of followers using aid another on every one of your attacks should assist greatly on this. You and some NPCs swarm and conquer.
    Aid another is an attack vs DC 10. With a d20 your at a 50/50 shot of succeeding with it with no bonuses. Any bonuses just help you succeed. It grants a +2 bonus to attack and multiple allies using it stack. So with 5 guys helping you, we assume 2 succeed. Your at a +4 to your first attack roll that turn.

    If you can trip a party member and make them prone. They will be at -4 to AC. A gang of 5ish townsfolk attacking one person seems a reasonable number. Start with one doing an aid another, and if that aid succeeds the person they did it to attacks. With what amounts to a +6 they stand a good chance of hitting and doing some damage. If the aid another fails, the next guy makes an aid another check.

    Basically your stacking up their bonuses by working together so they can likely hit and do some damage. They'll die horribly, but they can put some damage up first.

    Similarly can you a have them try to combined arms to do some disarms and grapples. Swarm of townsfolk holding down a spellcaster = no casting. Or they can ready actions to attack when the caster starts to cast. Provoking all manner of concentration checks and possibly fizzling the spell.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)06:58 No.6742931
    1) Divide the miners into two 25-strong teams.
    2) Craft ~40lb logs, wrap with dynamite.
    3) Have miners stand in two lines facing the incoming attackers
    4) Miners take ready actions to pass the explosive logs forward
    5) ???
    6) 20d6 bludgeon + 10d6 fire twin-linked railgun.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:02 No.6742963
    all i know is in dragon age, hundreds of archers rape face.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:08 No.6742993
    This. Go Vietcong right up their ass for as much damage as possible.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:11 No.6743027
    Walls, fire, explosives, archers. Liberal application of the above should cause the raiders to take enough damage pre-fight that a squad of miners in the town square combined with archers in buildings would have an appreciable chance of success. Also, never underestimate the power of explosding carts.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:11 No.6743028
    Traps - explosive pit traps etc everywhere.

    When the rogue stops to check them, pepper him with arrows.

    Rinse and repeat.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:11 No.6743029
    Personally, I'd like to see what would happen if you did The Railgun in Exalted, or any WW system.

    Where 1 tick/round is a single second...
    >> NH4NO3 !CH3nO2./t. 11/17/09(Tue)07:14 No.6743042
    Seriously, just daisy chain dynamite. At 3d6 per stick if you use a few sticks per charge not even the warforged will survive.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:14 No.6743044
    In particular, see if you can rig one triggerable pit trap, and one normal one between two walls... the party (if travelling in a group) get stuck between the two, then pepper with explosive arrows and so on.

    As long as you can funnel your opponents, you're set.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)07:20 No.6743095
    Force them into a bottleneck with oil soaked hay covering the entire ground. at your end of the bottleneck, make a line of the dynamite claymores detailed earlier. clay jugs filled with caltrops or nails makes perfect shrapnel.

    It will work best if you can put this at the entrance of the town. You'll outright kill any druid in the bottleneck, and if the party members don't die they'll be severely wounded. The best way to set it off is to stand in plain sight a good distance away from the bottleneck holding a torch and making a line of oiled hay leading up. The fire will reach the claymore line almost instantly and all you have to do is drop the torch when you see them come through.

    Have the miners on either side of the bottleneck, good distances away, armed with heavy crossbows and tanglefoot bags. They can pick off anyone who makes it through.
    >> OP 11/17/09(Tue)07:22 No.6743112
    Thanks for all the great suggestions, fa/tg/uys.

    Until I can get a good map of what we're working with, there's only so much I can plan.

    First, I'll try the forging of a letter from a much higher authority. Not likely that this will work, since it doesn't make a lot of sense that 50 miners know shit about forging.
    I'm pressuring the merchants to give up whatever they can to help us, since losing the mine will screw them.
    It looks like I'm working the miners to the bone, digging pits and lining them with explosives. Afterwards, I'll give most of them heavy crossbows and get them set up in the rocks.
    I'll have a handful stay back with me so if they still manage to charge through, i've got some aids to turn battle in my favor.
    When they arrive, I'll inform them of the men I have waiting in the forests, anxiously waiting to set everything ablaze.
    Lastly, I'll make sure that some messengers run out to inform the local kingdom of what's happening.

    Keep up with the suggestions if you've got something fun.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:29 No.6743199
    Don't forget The Railgun.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:35 No.6743256
    try to get them with attrition, with large numbers of traps and difficult terrain, you can slow down and demoralize them, buying you more time and possibly even causing them to give up.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:36 No.6743265
    Been covered, doesn't work, Monks don't qualify for the Time Paradox feat until 6th edition.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:38 No.6743284
    While they're off attacking, send a couple of villagers off to set a signal fire and give some prearranged signals.
    If the druids are stupid enough not to leave any guards, threaten them with burning down the forest, and surrendering.

    If they don't, crossbow them and grenades etc.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:39 No.6743296
    All you need to do is get it retroactively.

    It's a TIME PARADOX feat, you should be able to use it BEFORE YOU GET IT
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:42 No.6743314
    Gather the four fastest runners in the village, give them flint and tinder and send them out in different directions through the forest with instructions to start a small campfire every half hour.
    Wait four or five hours, send another runner to your party/the Druids. Tell them what you've done, and inform them that with four hours having passed, there are likely to be 32 separate fires burning in the woods. If they hurry and use all of their speed and skill, they might be able to stop the forest from burning down. However, if they attack the village, the forest will almost assuredly be destroyed.
    If their goal is truly to preserve the forest, the Druids, at the very least will scatter to save it.
    If the party stays behind, it's now 5 vs 51+. Level one or not, you should be able to win easily with traps and the like.
    If the party doesn't stay behind, you now have lots of extra time to prepare and call for help. By using small campfires, the forest won't be in serious danger, but the Druids will still seek them out in fear.
    When they appear stunned with amazement at the depths of your evil, twirl your mustache and laugh heartily.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:43 No.6743331
    Well, this is kinda dependent on your skills... but set up fucking traps, everywhere, get them peasants using crossbow teams (or rig up some ballistae really quick, it should be easy enough to do mining/logging town should have wood and trained individuals on hand), enlarge some peasants to cause avalanche's when / where necessary.

    Then, take a bunch of dynamite, and get some assistance on your hide skill (and woe to your party if they have pitifully low spot checks) and go and assassinate the sorcerer / druids via dynamite + grappling, it's hard as hell to cast when you're being grappled and a good monk can be even more sneaky than a rogue, combined with the increased movement speed, you can wipe out the sorcerer and then be a very fast grenade-throwing asshole.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:45 No.6743340
    If these druids have access to 2nd level spells, then you can generally assume that you're going to be screwed.

    We're talking about mysterious fog clouds swallowing you up, causing huge casualties via friendly fire.
    We're talking about heating a small bit of metal placed by the explosives, causing them to all go off at once.
    We're talking about the good, solid earth turning into nothing but sand, making tunneling and tunnel-based traps useless.
    We're talking about wooden-stake barricades suddenly twisting about, penning you in instead of keeping them out.

    You're DEAD.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)07:48 No.6743367

    This, although you may want to be wary, as your DM may make it qualify as a bluff check, and your CHA is horrible.

    Also, with the greased up pit and trench idea, if you line the bottom of it with that oil soaked straw and set a clay jar with one large stick of dynamite inside buried under caltrops, wait for them to fall in, and then toss in a torch, hilarity will ensue.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:51 No.6743380
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    Guns win
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:52 No.6743384

    Depending on terrain and effective range of ranged weaponry, don't be afraid to do a rolling retreat either. Getting pounded with projectiles is bad enough in dangerous/trapped terrain without the nice spread out miners retreating whenever the melee fighters in the group get close enough to attack next turn.

    Every successful attack with no loss or added risk of loss is a positive for you, even if it otherwise slows down your damage output.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)07:52 No.6743385

    Most of these, though, I don't think your DM is smart enough to use. Everything but the fog and the wooden baricade takes a bit of cleverness to realize.

    If you want to play it safe, instruct all of your miners to stay a good distance away from any of the barricades.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:52 No.6743387
    At what point are you telling a lie? You HAVE set fires in the forest. And if they hurry and are skilled, they WILL prevent the forest from burning down. Besides, if you send a runner, the runner is the only person who needs to make the check to make that statement. And then, only if he thinks it's a lie.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)07:55 No.6743406
    Ah, nearly forgot.

    Any two story houses with windows on the top floor, put your heavy crossbowmen up there for sniping. Two to a roof, one to reload and one to shoot so you can have a shot on every turn.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)07:57 No.6743418

    You bluff so badly they think its not happening.

    "Make haste before the fires consume the forest!"
    "Bull.shit, there isn't any fires"
    "But look around, the forest is ablaze!"
    *Huge forest fire*
    "Heh I think not, *cough*come on men, lets slaughter these miners! *splutter* "
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)07:58 No.6743420

    You're willfully making it sound a lot more threatening than it really is. Not so much a lie, as it is an exaggeration. A good DM would probably make the druids do sense motive checks, but at something like a -10 penalty because Druids are skittish about shit burning down and you actually DID send someone to set fires.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:00 No.6743431

    you do know that forest fires are a natural part of nature don't you?

    despite what a non-pedobear would have you to believe
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:01 No.6743433

    I can see where your coming from, sort of a check to see if they actually belive it. Though it isn't really an exaggeration, the forest WILL burn down IF they do nothing about it soon, or at least begin to spiral out fo control (the fire that is).
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:02 No.6743441

    Yeah but come on

    "The forest has burnt down, its gone"
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:03 No.6743445
    Error detected: "A good DM"
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:04 No.6743455
    That's when you burn them too.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:05 No.6743460

    You might say they got...burned?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:06 No.6743466

    That there hearts were set...on fire?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:06 No.6743471

    You might even say there goose was.... cooked?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:08 No.6743485
    Depending on the druids and PCs I have an idea that may or may not work.

    Grab some animals, preferably from the forest. Next, break their legs and leave them in the path of the party. Finally attach explosives to them or nearby them. Just an idea.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:10 No.6743499

    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)08:11 No.6743508

    Or, even more evil, grab tiny or small creatures. Break their legs and place them inside the claymore pots so that they're half sticking out. Rig the explosive to go off if the animal is pulled out.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:16 No.6743544
    Thread is too long... But in case it hasn't been said:
    Pit traps! Hundreds of them!
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:17 No.6743556
    O.K. this is how it goes. You get an orangutan. I'm not talking a little monkey or some some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a fucking orangutan. Don't ask me how you're gonna get a fucking orangutan, that's not my problem. So the orangutan's name is Clyde. This is non-negotianable, all orangutans are named Clyde. I don't know why that is, it's just how the world works. So you and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. You're seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and the miners go out in big groups. You talk loud, you laugh louder. Every time you slay something dangerious you high-five the orangutan. The forest begins to buzz. It gets back to the party. "Did you know the guy with the orangutan?", "You used to adventure with the guy with the orangutan?", "Why would you go against a guy with an orangutan?" Next thing you know there approaching.
    "I'm hoping we can still be friends. Wannajoin the party again?" "Geez I dunno, me and Clyde were going to go to rescue a city from dragons tonight. (orangutans hate dragons) In fact the whole social calender scroll seems kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note (what was your names again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in." "Oh, well you know my location so don't be a stra-" "Hey look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde's communing with AO'."
    At this point the upper hand is yours. You can let them twist in the wind, you can draw them back into you life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it's your life. But if you're a smart man? You slowly force them to destroy the druids. You're ruling nations. You're talking to gods. You get invited to huge royal dinners. You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the party. You're one big Brady Bunch.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:21 No.6743600
    Non-violent resistance, perhaps?
    Chain yourselves to the mining equipment, use the goddamned hippies own strategy against them. You GM is going to let the other side win, because they appear to be the good guys in this.

    Make them all feel like asses.
    >> OP 11/17/09(Tue)08:24 No.6743626

    this will be plan b if it becomes apparent that it's impossible to do all the shit I'm planning to do in half a day.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)08:27 No.6743661

    GM may not necessarily let them win. Significant amounts of preperation evens the playing field enough. The other players are going to bitch though.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:30 No.6743681

    Of course they will bitch. Tell them not to fuck with anon.

    Don't let them know that you came to /tg/ and don't explain why you said anon. We don't need any more noobs here.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:36 No.6743751
    The WILL metagame their asses off, once they know what you are up to.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)08:38 No.6743772

    This, a thousand times this. Do all of your planning with the GM without the players in the room.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:38 No.6743777
    wow wtf

    they don't actually think they're acting according to the principles of a good alignment do they?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:39 No.6743785
    Create an elaborate trap that will consume the entire forest with flame if the mine is destroyed. Ensure that the druids know this WILL happen if they go ahead with their plans and nothing they do can prevent it.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)08:43 No.6743834

    I would hope not, they're acting evil by any stretch of the imagination and the OP should make goddamn sure they know it. If your players refuse to convert to your side, you are completely justified in bringing down the hammer by any means necessary.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:43 No.6743836
    I like this plan. It is reminiscent of Paul's threat to the spacing guild at the end of Dune. I would like to add on to it though. Before the fight - say the night before etc, go over to them and give them one more chance to talk things over. Come to a compromise. By offering the hand of peace, you will have the moral high ground and the moral high ground counts for a lot(more so with the players than with the druids, admittedly). If they choose not to, proceed with announcement the burning of their forest.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:45 No.6743848
    I still highly recommend you sneak to wherever the party is and off the casters.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:46 No.6743858
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    >this thread
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:49 No.6743881
    What, are we going to start using DF as a source for this game?

    ...Do it.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)08:50 No.6743899
    For shenanigans, douse the druids in oil or some other flammable substance.

    The moment they cast something like blade of fire or whatever, IMMOLATION.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:53 No.6743915
    Best thread on /tg/.

    Best thread since like forever.
    Keep up the good spirit chaps
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:53 No.6743921
    Funny thing is, OP didn't say the town or the mine was in a forest.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:54 No.6743929


    Best thread since Noh.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:55 No.6743940
    Send a runner to the local duke/lord, come back with the national guard and proof of land ownership.

    "It says right here, they own the land, and they have a right to mine it. Go home, you damn hippies."
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:56 No.6743947
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    180 posts and no one's cared to mention that this is the plot from Princess Mononoke? /tg/, I am disappoint.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:57 No.6743951

    Not everyone here watches that kind of thing, son.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:58 No.6743960

    Well OP started off with an animoo pic.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)08:59 No.6743969
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:01 No.6743985
    Well, this is one of those rare popular anime movies that's not total shit. Most people should know this one if their on 4chan.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:02 No.6743993

    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:03 No.6743996
    the plot from Princess Mononoke involved some other things, like KILLING GODS
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:03 No.6743999

    Spirited Away? Nausicaä? Totoro? Do these words mean anything to you? I mean most anime is shithole, but if you don't know these ones...
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:04 No.6744004

    And now because of this LOOK IT'S THAT ANIME'S PLOT the thread has been derailed.

    Thank you, otakus, thank you so much.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:04 No.6744005
    >20 touch ac
    ... what. Does this warforged have a +10 dex modifier? Because armor does not work that way. Neither does the feat a warforged takes for armor, neither do shields. TOUCH is the anti-fighter.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:04 No.6744011
    Maybe give a faggy little speech as well.

    "This is not a logging company, we give fuck all for your precious trees and bugs and whatever. We mine. We'll take care not to kill any trees, being the bigger men and all.
    Our concern is the rock and its minerals. Do you all have a sacret connection to the rocks as well? We're not killing them. They are lifeless.
    But enough words, put your blade to my neck if you value life that little, kill me and the others. If you do not, if you simply damage our equipment, we shall return and continue our ways.
    Strike, gods damn you, STRIKE!"
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:05 No.6744020
    Dunno if it's been mentioned in the thread yet, but Commoner Railgun.

    Have each commoner stand as far apart from the next as they can while still able to take a spear from the one behind and pass it to the one ahead.

    Have them all do that in one round. (Six seconds.)

    That spear's going to be traveling pretty damn fast when the last commoner hands it to you and you throw it.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:05 No.6744025

    For best effect, do all the traps and shit, then when they've managed to get through the traps they'll find you chained to the entrance of the mine.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:06 No.6744038
    we were already done talking anyway you fucking neckbeard
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:07 No.6744043
    What kind of weapons and armor are the other people in your party using?

    If they're using anything metallic, call them out as hypocrites.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:07 No.6744045
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:08 No.6744052
    Wow, get out now. Swooping down to defend some japanese anime is not my thing, but these movies were fucking childhood classics.

    No, you're an idiot.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:09 No.6744058

    Tactical Genius
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:09 No.6744060
    >It is possible to throw a weapon that isn’t designed to be thrown (that is, a melee weapon that doesn’t have a numeric entry in the Range Increment column on Table: Weapons), but a character who does so takes a -4 penalty on the attack roll. Throwing a light or one-handed weapon is a standard action, while throwing a two-handed weapon is a full-round action. Regardless of the type of weapon, such an attack scores a threat only on a natural roll of 20 and deals double damage on a critical hit. Such a weapon has a range increment of 10 feet.

    >Quarterstaff5 — 1d4/1d4 1d6/1d6 ×2 — 4 lb. Bludgeoning

    From the d20 SRD

    If we're going RULES AS WRITTEN then your thrown quarterstaff will have those stats.
    >> How to Deal With Unsympathetic Druids and PCs 1 of 2 Effusive Driller 11/17/09(Tue)09:10 No.6744071
    A lot of what has been said seems to be related to village/mine defence. However, since you have nothing reminiscent of a TF2 engineer or more realistically just anything to stack up against a fair number of strong NPCs and PCs (I'm starting to assume the DM is just going to throw more Druids at you if you come up with a plan that ruins the other PCs if he hasn't specified the actual number) then you have one other option. Some people mentioned burning the forest as either retribution but I don't think that goes far enough without a concerted effort. Do they have a base of some kind? Maybe a treasured place in the forest itself? If so, concentrate there and attack before they hit the mines. Hide the equipment before you leave just in case but take the fight to the other PCs and bring retribution against these overbearing, judgemental, and apparently not so diplomatic Druids (Did they even bother to try to convince the villagers to clean up after themselves?).

    Once you're there, or at some point before, you have the option of trying to diplomatically solve the situation. And by diplomatically I mean threaten the hell out of the Druids in what I hope is a manner similar to the Druids threatening the mine. I know you said earlier you have bad CHA and diplomacy but a clear enough worry for the Druids or, if they're in any way good, agreement on minimizing any future damage could stop the need for a fight.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:10 No.6744073

    Doesn't matter, doesn't change the fact that otakus feel a need to start talking about damn animes or mangas all the time, it doesnt even matter what the subject originally was.

    There's a board for that, do it there. We've all seen good thread being derailed by a single post like "HEY IT'S PRINCESS MONONOKAIEOKAOCOCK YOU SHOULD ALL KNOW THAT". Just stop posting stuff like that and save /tg/ from a small part of its cancer.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:11 No.6744075
    A spear is designed to be throwable, though.
    >> How to Deal with Unsympathetic Druids and PCs Part Duex Effusive Driller 11/17/09(Tue)09:11 No.6744080
    Try to find a way to make them feel sympathy with the villager’s plight if the DM will even let you. This mine is the very lifeblood or the peasantry and the village by the sound of it. Its everything they depend on to feed their families, to keep the village going, and to really just live their lives. With this gone they could all starve with no other occupation to put them through the next winter or whenever food runs out. Besides, if the local lord is competent I'm sure he'll just rebuild the mine and hunt down the Druids for enforcing their beliefs as a higher law than his own. Really the PCs are just temporarily making a situation worse for everyone by not finding a better solution than LOLDESTROYTHEMINEFORNATURE! After all, mining operations are good profits. And good profits usually translates into good taxes for the lord. This is not a situation he or she will let go.

    But, if nothing else works, go with the village defense plan... And give one of them drill and crash their most fearless peasant into the PCs and their nature buddies. At least you will pierce THE HEAVENS. And one of their stomachs.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:12 No.6744082
    Go eat a dick.

    Do you interrupt EVERY gaming session you're in the minute someone brings up a pop culture comparison saying THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR SUCH TOMFOOLERY _GOD_ CAN'T YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT IT
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:12 No.6744083
    The plot is very similar to Princess Mononoke. I am willing to bet a lot of money that you are more pathetic and disgusting than the majority of /a/.
    >> Professor Stein !NU4eJT.c7o 11/17/09(Tue)09:13 No.6744091
    /a/ here.

    Shut the fuck up.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:14 No.6744103
    >20 touch ac
    >20 touch ac
    >20 touch ac
    >20 touch ac
    PLEASE someone address this! Is he some sort of super warforged with high dexterity?!
    >> Sergeant Alexandros II !PhseAMrpPY 11/17/09(Tue)09:14 No.6744104
    Make anti-personnel mines.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:14 No.6744106

    Here we go (again, RULES AS WRITTEN here)

    >Daggers, clubs, shortspears, spears, darts, javelins, throwing axes, light hammers, tridents, shuriken, and nets are thrown weapons. The wielder applies his or her Strength modifier to damage dealt by thrown weapons (except for splash weapons).

    > Javelin 1 gp 1d4 1d6 ×2 30 ft. 2 lb. Piercing
    >Spear 2 gp 1d6 1d8 ×3 20 ft. 6 lb. Piercing

    How about that. You throw it 20 or 30 feet, and deal either 1d6 or 1d8 + STR damage. It's right there in the rules.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:14 No.6744107
    >childhood classics

    Because every fa/tg/uy was a child around the same time you were, right? It doesn't matter, it's still not /tg/ related.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:14 No.6744108
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    Hahaha, oh holy fuck, White Knights of Anime, TO ARMS!
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:15 No.6744113
    Alright, OP, there is admittedly a lot of good ideas in this thread. There is also a lot of bullshit. Here are the things you should do, prioritized from most useful/likely to not get ruled out by GM to least:

    1. Send the FASTEST runner to the lordship, duke, or other authority figures. You have half a day, so you might even just want to send a schlock with the fastest horse you can. Even so, you have the LAW on your side. Regardless of success or failure, you have made the players into fugitives.

    2. The Four Runners for Forest Fires. This is both brilliant and evil - it should be your GAMBIT, not your solution. You should personally go to the players if you have enough time to talk with them and WARN them about the fires - you are playing it fair and upper-handed here after all.

    3. Enlarge the villagers. You have 45 villagers left after all the runners are gone, and 45 charges left in your wand. I guarantee you won't need all of them, but one or two dozen Large creatures in the mine's vicinity will be able to make a significant amount of Difficult Terrain and Fortified Defenses for your men. This is going to be key to your survival - make sure to go over with your GM that knowledge of the terrain and defenses renders the defenders at advantage should they need to flee through it.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:16 No.6744118
    4. Equip and train the villagers at all costs. Heavy crossbows in teams of two are going to be huge, as you need them laying down a hail of fire, and no less than TWENTY of your villagers should be set to this task when the hour comes. Less if equipment available does not allow it, but more if your stock allows - but mind you you still need a small team of men at your beck and call to act as runners to issue orders and see traps are used successfully etc. Train them in all manners of evading the party's spells and abilities (fireball hurp durp).

    5. Traps. Pit traps will be easily dug by Large miners combined with oil traps combined with glass/caltrop bombs... Every bit of fire you can get going is going to be your only real damage dealing weapon for the party. It is important that you spread it out in the early portions of the difficult terrain, and the closer they get to the mines filter them into areas with concentrated traps. Also, trebuchets are fairly simple to construct, and i herd u liek dynamite. Medieval mortar anyone? If you can split people up, disable people, or otherwise take people out of the fight, it's CROWD CONTROL here. Tanglefoot bags are going to be for retreats, but you might want to think about making clever traps out of them.

    There's a lot more you can do here (use the large mining equipment to block paths and funnel the party for instance!), but I think you get the idea. This is a defense you should be ready to die for, even if you know they're not going to kill you. You are the Marche to their Whiny Bitches in Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, and you damn well better live up to that, OP. We believe in you!
    >> Kristoph Gavin 11/17/09(Tue)09:18 No.6744137
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    There needs to be alot done in order to win this battle.
    I would suggest, burning the forest because if the opposition partys allys are real druids they will run to put it out therefore cutting there numbers.
    Convince them they will all be murdered and killed if they surrender, people fight alot harder when they are backed into corners.
    Suicide bombers hiding in wait, if your team has some level of morality use children as they will hesitate to kill.
    Dig pits, lots of them to encourage them to go into the town a certain way.
    3 rank fire from anything that has range suggest crossbows since they are easier for peasants to use.
    If this fails fall back into the mine, and trigger some dynamite, if your going down take them with you.
    Sometimes in war you need to do what is necissary to win, so use anything and everything to your advantage.
    If all else fails, cheat on the dice rolls if you must.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:19 No.6744145
    The Railgun, by the way, cannot work, even going by RAW rules; The round is six seconds, but each readied action is instantaneous. The spear has x distance over 0 seconds. You have divided by zero, brace for impact.

    Consequently, to keep it relevant to the thread, if you feel that you cannot win, or that you have already lost, OP, just use the World's Off Button so quaintly thought to be a Railgun, and tell the DM Goodnight. His world? Folding in on itself before the six seconds have even passed.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:19 No.6744146
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    >implying Marche wasn't evil
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:20 No.6744154
    Only thing that proves is that he has an imagineless GM.


    While taking the fight to the enemy might work, he only has half a day. It would be pure luck if he found it.
    Unless some of his other party members are far less good at leaving no tracks and he can hire a local huntsman.

    Then he could make it way more dramatic, real tactical genuis like. tell the hippies, when they come for the mine they have one chance to back off. If they don't you blow some explosives as a sign that a group of miners who have infiltrated their grove or glade or drum circle will light the whole fucking place on fire.
    They attack, they lose. They don't, you win.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:22 No.6744172
    What's OPs pic from anyway?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:23 No.6744181
    I never said anything about good or evil. OP is quite possibly the single greatest villain to have never been thought of by a GM. I might need to steal this whole snaffu and make a short campaign about it, it's that epic. Make us proud, OP.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:24 No.6744191
    but he's not a villain he's saving the poor peasants from the crazy druids...
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:24 No.6744194
    Kino no Tabi the first movie. Takes place before Kino starts travelling the world. The screencap in question is when Kino and her teacher/caretaker go out to test that gun and chop down a tree at the same time.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:26 No.6744206
    ... Or is the single greatest hero of the common man. Does it really matter?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:28 No.6744216
    yeah it does because if any of the PCs who are siding with the druids have a good or lawful alignment then they should lose that alignment pretty much immediately.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:28 No.6744220

    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:28 No.6744223
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    Use workers that have been enlarged via wand to dig and set up fortifications. This should make things go easier.
    Watch out for preemptive attacks. Seriously.
    See if you can buy the services of a nearby spellcaster.
    One chicken costs 2cp. I don't know how, but this might be useful. Maybe you can construct some kind of chicken-ball hurling device (or enlarged person?) to chuck chickens at them. You could enlarge chickens. You can give each miner a chicken (live) to use as a shield against the druids. You could tie chickens to your bodies to use as armor, or as protection against the druids, or simply to confuse the enemy.
    Most of your options are heavily limited by the terrain. Make sure you get rough elevations from your GM, otherwise you'll end up attempting to roll logs up a hill.
    You could tie explosives to chickens, chickens to rocks, and hurl them off cliffs. The advance warning awarded from the squawking chickens is more than made up for by the sheer awesomeness of dropping chicken-bombs onto druids.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:32 No.6744243
    Hahaha, holy shit, I love this thread.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:34 No.6744260
    Okay op there are several things you need to know
    Ultimately strategy will only get you so far in 3.5 but the most important lesson to take away from this if ANYTHING is dont waste effort on any traps you think the party and druids wont fall for. use your resources on attacks and traps that they cant avoid,

    You need to take stock of your resources before we can help, it even matters what season and weather it is, as well as the exact ammount of dynamite, light crossbows work best, and try to get ahold of a potion of bless or prayer,

    instruct your militia to retreat to the mine if they get engaged in melee otherwise keep shooting, any hiding and scattering they can do will be great, if you have alot of dynamite, the battle wont be a problem if everyone grenades staggardly, fire is going to be a problem for yourself as well as the enemies, try to instruct your crew to hide next to things that can also be set on fire. the druids will have alot of crying to do if they set their own forests on fire. your bluff of setting the woods on fire probably wont work,

    the biggest advantage you can get as a group of ranged attackers is to make ranged attacks when closing isnt possible, use this to your advantage whenever possible, because once the spellcasters are out of the way killing the party will be a sinch,

    but again, it all hinges on the dynamite, the more you have the easier this will be.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:34 No.6744261
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:36 No.6744278
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    I fucking love this thread

    With our help this guy shall see glorious victory and his friends will all tell his tale for years to come as the one monk who stood strong.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:36 No.6744281
    OP you have to come back and tell us how it went.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)09:38 No.6744293
    A caltrop does 1 point of damage when stepped on.

    a caltrop flung by an explosion has significantly more force behind it, at least 1d6 worth at close range.

    You can expect to fill a large glass jar with about 100 of them. Out of these, you can expect roughly 15 to hit each adjacent square, double that if you're directing the explosion with iron plates. That's 15d6 if they're five feat away (not counting the 3d6 they'd take from the explosion itself), still something like 7~8d6 for someone ten feet away. Seriously, placing them at the bottom of greased pit traps is going to kill you a lot of druids.

    tl:dr: Use fucking caltrop bombs.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:38 No.6744294
    Forgot to mention, you could also trick the druids, party into believing that you are a peasant who doesn't want to hurt the land (to get into their camp).
    I forgot to mention my favorite:
    Dig a bigass pit in the main entrance of the fort. Cover this with planks. DO NOT fill the pit with oil. I know, oil would be great, but it would grant a smell-check. Instead, fill it with punjisticks, with bags of flour dust tied to the tops. Or whatever. Then, surrender- call for a meeting. Have one of the peasants disguise himself as you, and stand out in the middle of the encampment with the rest of the miners. Have a table set out there or something. You will be on the wall above the entrance, with the wand.Spam enlarge person.
    PREPARE a plan in SECRET - The casters may have divination spells.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:45 No.6744350

    Sounds like the only real threat is the Rogue - because the Druid and Sorc are idiots - not that it's likely to be a proper flask-user but because it might be able to find your traps. It may try to sneak in - in which case it will fail assuming a little planning on your part.


    Still the best plan - miners can clear a cavein, the lost profit is much less than it would be if the PC's murder them all and then collapse the mines. If at any point you plan involves actual combat - you are fucked. Archery? Would you like some Wind Wall with your defeat?.

    "Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies" - as a tactic and not a DM-say-fuck-you - works brilliantly against PCs, they rarely expect you to bypass their threat level entirely. As they won't have any good transportation magic and likely have never heard of a thoqqua, they'll either be crushed or suffocate.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)09:46 No.6744359
    I want to join OP's game, just to fight alongside him.

    Roll up a nice awesome Paladin and inspire the fuck out of the villagers.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:46 No.6744361
    this plan is stupid

    And remember op, as long as you have the number advantage light crossbows can attack every turn from a miner who doesnt need to move that turn once you run out of dynamite.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:46 No.6744362

    It was already brought up. Someone even proposed to bind some dynamite to the projectile to make it an explosive railgun run.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:47 No.6744368
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    If you go for the dramatic dialog route, remember that while the druids may attempt a non violent solution they are still depriving the village of their primary source of income and will lead to the starvation of a number of people.

    As for the anime plot, well what are the odds that a bad gm steals a plot line and probably expected the entire party to follow it because what other possible choice could exist?

    I'm going to go with fire gambit, hide the mining equipment, counter non-violence

    oooh. If the druids are dedicated to a non-violent approach demand a substitute challenge to determine the fate of the mine. I'd probably go with a straight game of chance to avoid GM dickery. If the rogue tries to cheat chop the players hands off.

    good luck.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:49 No.6744388
    The railgun can't work because it's depending on the rules trumping physics in one instant, and then physics trumping the rules in the next.

    No matter how fast the pole gets passed up the line, it only does basic spear damage when the last guy throws it. Otherwise even if the instant-transfer from one peasant to the next still held, it'd be tearing your peasants' arms off by the time it got a dozen people along the line. Stuff-moving-fast will do damage to them just as easily as it'll do damage to the target.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:51 No.6744417
    I would join OP's game.... and roll myself up either an unarmed swordsage, or a monk as well, make him SNEEEKEH STOMP YOUR HEAD IN IN YOUR SLEEP type.

    Generally something with the flavor of "I'm a fucking trained assassin, and I *will* kill you".
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:53 No.6744439
    Yeah and the immovable rod doesn't work that way either.

    Although in the original railgun suggestion in was in 3e and the weapon was the rung of a ladder, I'm not sure how thats different.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)09:54 No.6744454

    Ideally, I'd do some sort of paladin kensai hybred and FUCK UP EVERYTHING.

    The druids are being evil douchebag hippies anyway.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:54 No.6744456
    Simple. Throw the Milita at them. Make it seem like your opponents are winning then have the Militia make a hasty retreat and have the enemy run smack dab into a Burmese tiger trap with sharped pick handles covered in fecal matter. Anyone who survives can die from having dynamite thrown at them.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:55 No.6744470
    I want to join OP's party as a monk. Like, a monk monk, to give people religious counsel before their probable and likely deaths, and then kick ass IN THE NAME OF THE LOOOOORD!
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:55 No.6744475
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:56 No.6744482
    The weapon choice was only because someone wasn't paying as much attention as neckbeards when they wrote the equipment section, and a 10' ladder is either identical to or slightly less than the cost of two 10' poles, so the rungs are free.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:57 No.6744492
    You guys must've missed this post:
    Say hello to tearing time and space apart. On a steeeeek!
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:57 No.6744498
    I'd join as a druid just to yell at the other druids
    "What the fuck, man, what the fuck?"
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:57 No.6744499
    It did always clearly state to dismantle a ladder for the rungs or use a rock. Smells like a cheesy circumvention.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)09:58 No.6744502
    If you're still there OP

    I highly suggest that you set the forest on fire and talk with your DM to convince him that this may pull a few of the druids from the group to go try and save the forest.

    The more enemies you take out of the fight, the better.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:00 No.6744522
    If I knew what you fuckers looked like, I would so drawfag this excellent JUST AS PLANNING
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:02 No.6744536
    advanced dickery: fun with statistics, Since you're playing 3.5 you probably have more than just level 1 townspeople militia. The dmg suggests that for every person of level x there are 2 of level x-2 so with 50, half will be level 1, 12 will level 3, 6 will be level 5, 3 will be level 7 and one godly miner at level 9. Plus the mayor and his staff probably count as nobles and you have blacksmiths and other types to fill as experts. Granted it requires an appeal to the very person you're screwing, but you're using it so that the compromise leaves you slightly more powerful than before.
    *Win Encounter, form NPC party*
    *refuse to let other players join*

    As for the wand of enlarge person, use that as a back up if everything goes wrong. enlarge the peasants and have them serve as improvised heavy mining equipment, it may give you enough time to get more equipment in and also some steel wielding allies. Just put out a line for a quest to protect a mine being attacked by evil druids.
    >> Effusive Driller 11/17/09(Tue)10:03 No.6744538
         File1258470183.jpg-(326 KB, 1590x1335, 1251864750018.jpg)
    326 KB
    Maybe the villager's know something about their "base" I guess we'll call it? Or some locals that have dealt with them before? The PCs may even have a clue about it though OP hasn't said if the Druids tried to convince them on their SAVE THE TREES QUEST in or out of town.

    Also, OP, if all else fails and you think you can bluff it, you can try to challenge their leader into a contest of skill or luck to decide the outcome. Just an idea if you really have zero time to organize anything and think you can get them to agree. Only suggesting this plan if GM just says no to everything else for one reason or another which he just may.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:03 No.6744539
    I hope people are requesting this thread. This stuff is gold.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:04 No.6744546
    OP, you need to make this epic last stand... And do the forest fires runners idea. At the same time. When they are on the edge of victory, sing them the song of their defeat. Watch the druids weep and your former companions fall to their knees in shock as lightning peals, casting the mountain and yourself in silhouette, cackling madly.

    Win the campaign.
    Win D&D.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:05 No.6744557
    You know, I REALLY doubt that the druids and party will just CHARGE at the town.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)10:07 No.6744570

    From what OP has said about the intelligence level of the players, yes, that is exactly what they'll do.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:11 No.6744602
    Yes /tg/. We get to use traps and explosives. You have to work other angles as well.

    1) Send the women out to beg the druids (and party) not to destroy everything. This is their livelihood. Their life. They gave up everything to be here. If the operation fails, they will all die. It is hard to shoulder through a bunch of sobbing soon to be widows.
    2) Tie the children to the mining equipment. Seriously. This means that the druids (and party) cannot perform hit and run tactics against the equipment. They have to win the fight, or at least generate enough time to get the children off the mining equipment before they break it.
    3) Depending on the map, and how much explosives you have, consider blowing a channel to divert a river on top of them. That'll show em.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)10:11 No.6744604
    OP, regardless of whether you win or lose, you must report back and tell us how it went.

    But you'll probably win anyway.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:13 No.6744621
    Has anyone suggested Piano wire at neck level yet? Cause if there's some way you can force them through doors, this kicks ass.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:14 No.6744625

    We're talking about guys who'll side with druids who would starve a town just to save a few tree's and squirrels.

    They don't have the best problem-solving skills and will most likely charge head-long at the mine, hoping to overwhelm your miners before they can put up much of a fight.

    Their lack of preparation will be their downfall though.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:19 No.6744679


    Go russian revolution on them.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:20 No.6744689
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)10:24 No.6744726

    Lacerations nothing, piano wire travelling at that speed will cut through anything.

    Modify the railgun like this: two poles, piano wire tied between them. Have the peasents railgun both poles at the same time, with the wire stretched tight between them.

    Piano wire dismemberment at mach 2.
    >> IMMAGRATEDEE'EM !!1MBSB3OE2DR 11/17/09(Tue)10:26 No.6744740

    Oh shit guys, idea.

    You know that one thing people used to do a long time ago with cannons?

    Where they had the chain linking the two cannonballs?


    If you have the support of the merchants, I suggest being like, FUCK CROSSBOWS, LOLCANNONS.

    Occasionally have the chain linked cannonballs.

    Just a thought, cannons are awesome and you can put them in hallways, hallways where people have been bottlenecked in.

    It is a nice backup in case the DROODS are faggots and ruin splodywalls.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:28 No.6744749
    Someone needs to make a live action D&D movie where people are roleplaying out all the insane situations. I would love to see the CG working of a pole being thrown at MACH 2 blowing through people.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)10:31 No.6744772

    Fill one cannon with caltrops instead of a cannonball.

    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:33 No.6744787

    Filling a cannon with a bunch of small, cutting objects is called grapeshot.
    >> Z 11/17/09(Tue)10:34 No.6744799

    In this case, it's called The Rape Of Many Druids.
    >> Effusive Driller 11/17/09(Tue)10:34 No.6744800

    Minor problem: He has all of half a day. It takes much longer to make serviceable cannon.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:34 No.6744801
    It's already been suggested that there's lots of metal + wood on hand, because of A) mining and B) Mine shaft supports.

    It's entirely likely that they have skilled enough individuals there, that they could build a couple of ballistae in the amount of time that the OP has to defend the town, 3 ballistae + whatever the townspeople already had on hand (crossbows, bows, ect) is more than likely to fuck some shit up seriously
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:35 No.6744805
    Use Oil on the floor/ground, and arrows on fire. If the battle goes badly, or if you wish to divide forces, fire a few rounds into the forest as well to set it on fire. Otherwise, the players and druids will have to walk on slippery ground that will be set on fire the moment you let loose your arrows.
    >> OP 11/17/09(Tue)10:35 No.6744811
    OP here.

    wow, I can't believe the amount of support you guys had at the ready. I've got to take notes on this shit.

    I will be sure to report back on what happened, even if everything goes horribly, horribly wrong. I will use everything that I have learned here, if given the chance. The problem is that now you guys will have to wait a whole week to see the results.

    One last thing. Someone suggested a potion of bless to help out with my archer squad (assuming there's no wind wall). Any other similar suggestions? I think that small buffs to 50 people could make a big difference. All consumable and temporary magic effect suggestions welcome.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:36 No.6744812
    Or you could bluff the fuck out of them.

    Spend some time with the GM beforehand without the other players. Drop hints that this has happened, even if you didn't really manage to successfully organise the defence.

    Then before the other players turn up, send all the villagers into hiding, possibly in the mine, stand in the centre of the village and await their arrival.

    Then smile at them.

    As long as the DM isn't a dick and reveals you, then you might be able to bullshit the other players into thinking you actually have some way to beat them, especially if they remember Rule 1.

    "Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men"
    >> OP 11/17/09(Tue)10:37 No.6744825
    well shit, the thread is auto-sageing.

    I guess that's good night, then.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:40 No.6744842

    You must tell us the rough time wherein you wil post the results. I lurk like a motherfucker, but I can't say I catch every thread on /tg/

    And I need this.
    >> OP 11/17/09(Tue)10:43 No.6744871
    Our session usually runs until midnight on monday night PST (UTC/GMT -8 hours). I'll try to update you guys as soon as I get home, which will probably be about half an hour later.

    This assumes I remember, though. I'll write a memo.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:48 No.6744910
    Archive thread time nao?
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:49 No.6744912

    Yeah archive.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)10:49 No.6744921

    Tell me how to archive, and I will.
    >> OP 11/17/09(Tue)10:52 No.6744942
    go here and follow the directions.


    you'll need to copy the OP post number, select the board, then enter the image confirmation.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:01 No.6745025
    Archived this on sup/tg/ as well.
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:36 No.6745289
    >not suptg
    I am disappoint
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:41 No.6745314


    >Archived this on sup/tg/ as well.

    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:42 No.6745319
    >quoting a different post by a different person
    >> Anonymous 11/17/09(Tue)11:43 No.6745326

    >pointing out that it's been archived on suptg too, so what does it matter?


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