This quest will be just a little different from the other quests on /tg/. ---You are aware of yourself, floating in an inky blackness without any sensory input. Wait, you have a heartbeat. You think? Yes, that's your heart beating, but you're not sure if you can keep it beating.Make a DC3 save to keep your heart beating.
rolled 2 = 2>>6751380Oh boy
rolled 1 = 1Oh boy oh boy!
Best quest ever.
>>6751397>>6751398Neither of you could keep your heart beating, and your heart stops as you die and lose awareness.---God fucking dammit I wanted to do 'spot check to see the person standing over you, listen check to hear what they're telling you'
>>6751398>>6751397There are no words. None at all.
rolled 20 = 20Looks like we're all off to a good start
>>6751397>>6751398are you fucking joking
>>6751424Well, that was the fastest quest ever.
Gentlemen, good work. I think we can all go to bed knowing we've done our jobs today.
Ok so I'm going to pretend you guys actually made that save.---Your heart beats firmly and strongly now, and you become aware of your body. You are apparently a human and you open your eyes. You see something but you can't quite make it out - make a DC5 spot check to be able to see what's in front of you.
rolled 5 = 5>>6751471Oh me oh my.
>>6751471In before failed spot check.
rolled 5 = 5>>6751471CHOO CHOO
>>6751486Congratulations, your eyes work! You open your eyes and see a ceiling unfamiliar to you, a wooden ceiling held up by arches. There's some kind of figure in your field of view, but you don't seem to recognize it. Make a DC5 knowledge check to be able to identify the figure.
>>6751486Close. So close.
rolled 10 = 10>>6751517SUCESSFUL TROLL, WILL BE SUCESSFUL!
Good job namefags
>>6751486>>6751509>>6751397>>6751398SURE IS TROLLING DICE TODAY
>>6751525You are able to identify the figure as a human girl who is sitting at what is apparently your bedside. She is patting down your forehead with a wet cloth and her mouth is moving. Your ears detect audible vibrations but you're not sure what to make of the sensory input - make a DC3 listen check to be able to hear what she's saying.
rolled 4 = 4>>6751547SO FAR SO GOOD.
>>6751557Success, your ears work! "...finally awake, huh? That was a nasty fall you took off that horse when you came in that rainy night, you've been feverish for a week."You're unsure of what she's talking about. Make a DC10 knowledge check to be able to access your own memories.
rolled 15 = 15>>6751583THINK THINK THINK!
>>6751583>>6751547>>6751517this is not how skill checks work dammit
rolled 18 = 18>>6751583A DC over 5? We're screwed.
>>6751594Ah, you remember now. You were riding a four legged animal (horse) and delivering a broadsheet to the local area when water began coming from the sky, turning the ground muddy and eventually causing your horse to lose its grip. The girl looks at you with what appears to be concern. "Are you lucid? Can you speak?"Make a DC3 Speak Language check to be able to talk intelligibly, and say what you're doing to say in your post
rolled 1 = 1>>6751642"...Maybe?"
rolled 3 = 3>>6751642FUCK YES I CAN SPEAK.
wow fuck these dice today.
>>6751654I DUNNO, MAN. THESE DICE RULE.
rolled 17 = 17>>6751642"I am lucid. Where's my horse?"
rolled 2 = 2LETS ROCK
>>6751647you should stay indoors tonight>>6751649You exclaim "FUCK YES I CAN SPEAK" as loudly as you can. She jumps, startled at your sudden outburst, then smiles. "Here, stay put a bit. I'll bring up some food, would you like either a beef stew or some bread and sausage?"You are unsure what either of those are. Make a DC5 knowledge check to know what food is.
rolled 17 = 17>>6751683WHAT IS FOOD? BABY DON'T FEED ME. DON'T FEED ME. NO MORE.
rolled 14 = 14>>6751683"Meatbread."
rolled 2 + 2 = 4How do I rolled dice?
>>6751690>>6751692Oh right, food, that thing you eat. Meatbread is most similar to the bread and sausage, so you opt for the latter. She returns promptly with the dish and leaves you to your breakfast, telling you that she'll be back within the hour.You are sitting in bed with a tray on the end table, with some steaming pork sausages and a heel of bread. You are very hungry and decide to eat. Make a DC3 Dex check to attempt to pick up the food.
rolled 13 = 13>>6751723Yeah, alright.
rolled 12 = 12>>6751723FOOD GOES IN MOUTH.OM NOM NOM.
>>6751731>>6751732You pick up the bread and sausages and begin to eat. You eat until satiated, then wipe your mouth with the napkin she gave you.You look around the room for your clothes and pack but it's all fuzzy and indistinct. Make a DC3 spot check to be able to see the room in detail.
rolled 10 = 10>>6751751I WANT TO DRESS LIKE A PIRATE.
rolled 8 = 8>>6751751I love playing brain damaged characters.
>>6751761>>6751765Your vision sharpens acutely, and you see your breeches and linen shirt folded on a chair across the room. You want to get dressed, as you're only in your undergarments.Make a DC10 Tumble check to be able to get out of bed.
rolled 6 = 6>>6751779LET'S DO THIS. UPSA-DASIE!
You should re-name this 'downs child quest' or something similar
rolled 16 = 16>>6751779Acrobatics.
rolled 2 = 2>>6751779Who says we want to get clothed?
>>6751783Woops. You made a valiant effort but you just couldn't get upright. You land on the floor next to your bed in a heap of sheets and limbs.The chair is a good distance away and the sheets have tangled up your limbs. Make either a DC5 survival check to untangle yourself from the sheets, or a DC10 climb check to crawl your way to the chair.
rolled 3 = 3>>6751812THEY SEE ME ROLLAN
rolled 3 = 3>>6751812Survive!
>>6751812I CAN DO THIS.I MUST EXSCAPE FROM THE SHEETS!
rolled 14 = 14>>6751812Well, shit.
rolled 3 = 3>>6751829Forgot mah dice. :o
>>6751816>>6751824DID YOU KILL US AGAIN
So far we have2 deaths from sudden heart failure1 inability to speak1 failure to get out of bed2 deaths from strangulation by being tangled up by bedsheets
>>6751816>>6751824>>6751835God. Fucking. Dammit.
>>6751837Sounds like Ravenloft.
>>6751835You attempt to untangle yourself but the sheets keep getting in your way. Your flailing struggle eventually constricts the sheets around your neck, cutting off your airflow as you slowly suffocate.-3 deaths to self-strangulation by sheets.>>6751833You successfully untangle yourself from the sheets and are now lying on the floor in your undergarments. Make either a DC3 climb check to crawl to the chair that has your clothes, a DC5 check to stand up, or make a DC10 check to have the presence of mind to choose to do something else (i.e. say what you want to do and if its not 'crawl to chair' or 'get up' make the DC10)
rolled 7 = 7>>6751883"Become God."
I WISH YOU LUCK SUBPROCESSOR.MAY YOUR VENTURES FARE BETTER THAN I.
rolled 17 = 17>>6751883I meditate
DC 10 check to archive
rolled 2 = 2>>6751883FapFapFapFap.
rolled 3 = 3>>6751901I accidentally my dice
rolled 10 = 10>>6751883I WILL NOT HAVE THESE CLOTHES TAUNT ME.STAND UP
I think we're just bad at rolling. :(
rolled 6 = 6>>6751893>>6751895If your actions have affected my luck in any way, I will call you a heretic.
>>6751911At least it's making this amusing.
>>6751926Indeed. I think this is the most fun I've ever had ever.
rolled 20 = 20>>6751911Heretic.
rolled 8 = 8>>6751941Haha, oh wow.
>>6751895You can jump back in and make more rolls at any time. Barring ridiculous shit like what happened on the first save-or-die this can keep going>>6751897Your mental state becomes unfocused, then you begin to meditate while on the ground. You gain the ability to take-20 on any one particular check of your choice today.You do this for an hour whilst lying on the ground, and your concentration is interrupted by the girl returning. She glances at your unclothed form on the ground, and smiles while blushing. "Not quite up and about yet are we?" she says, as she places your clothes on the bed and puts her hands under your arms to try to lever you back on the bed. Make a DC5 Tumble check to not fall out of her arms back onto the floor.
rolled 7 = 7Crawl to the chair! We must dress!
rolled 10 = 10Er... don't tumble! Just as good!
rolled 17 = 17>>6751957HEAVEN OR HELL.LET'S ROCK.
rolled 10 = 10>>6751957CURRENT STATUS: TUMBLING MORE, FAGGOT
rolled 4 + 10 = 14they see me rolling they hatin
rolled 15 = 15>>6751957Tumblin like a mofo
rolled 1 = 1>>6751990More tumbling, we shall tumble til we can't tumble no more.
>>6751973>>6751982You successfully lever your weight so you don't fall back onto the floor and are now sitting upright on the bed. She picks up your breeches and unfolds them."Let's get you dressed, shall we? We can get you down to the common room and get some more food in you."She pulls your breeches onto your legs and pushes the shirt over your head, fastening the former with a small length of rope. You are now clothed. She points to a small satchel on the dresser."This is your pack. We'll have lunch waiting for you downstairs whenever you're ready."By being spoken to you gain more knowledge of how to speak language and gain a permanent +2 to all speak language checks. (Add this to your roll whenever I specify a DC speak language) You can1. DC5 speak language check to be able to open your mouth ask a question (whatever you want to ask in your post)2. DC5 Str check to be able to stand upright3. DC10 will check to be able to do something else (if you do this, roll twice and tell me what you want to do and I'll use your second roll to check against another DC)
>>6752040This will be uncomfortable.
For some reason this thread reminds me of QWOPhttp://www.foddy.net/Athletics.html
rolled 19 = 19>>6752044I seduce her.
rolled 17 + 2 = 19>>6752044"Where's my horse?"
>>6752044Are you single?
rolled 4 = 4Attempt to kiss her, kiss her you fool!
rolled 11 + 2 = 13>>6752044Speak: "Why do I have to wear pants?"
rolled 15 + 2 = 17>>6752081FFFFFFFF
rolled 11 + 2 = 13>>6752044WHERE AM I?
rolled 1 = 1>>6752044NICE SHOES. WANNA FUCK?
rolled 3 = 3Sleight of hand to undo her bra without her knowing.
>>6752106This makes me happy.
rolled 12 = 12Summon your giant robot!
>>6752074>>6752083You didn't roll a second time, bad anon>>6752076>>6752087She laughs a bit. "Your horse is in the stables, she's been well taken care of."You ask her why you have to wear pants. She looks at you quizzically. "Hit a little too hard, hm? Well, it'll help keep your legs warm when you're out and about." She shrugs, giving you an odd look, then exits the room.You can1. DC5 Str check to be able to stand upright2. DC10 will check to be able to do something else (if you do this, roll twice and tell me what you want to do and I'll use your second roll to check against another DC)
>>6752116I like how everyone immediately tries to win her heart.
rolled 4 = 4Swoon her, then Make sweet lovins.
rolled 10 = 10>>6752135Stand like a bitch.
rolled 18 = 18Remove pants.
rolled 19 = 19>>6752135STAND AND DELIVER
rolled 5 = 5>>6752146Still removing pants.
rolled 1 + 1 = 2>>6752135Goddamnit I will have her heart yet! Come back to me 19!SEDUCTION
rolled 20, 20 = 40>>6752135REMOVE PANTS AND GIVE HER OUR FINEST SALUTE.
You easily stand up, then have the sudden idea that your legs are plenty warm as is. You undo your breeches and they drop onto the floor.You are standing in a nondescript bedroom. Your pack is sitting on top of the dresser and there is a door leading to whatever is outside the bedroom. There is a window opening to the front of the building.You can1. Make a DC5 Balance check to walk to a location in the room (suggestions: window, dresser, door)2. Roll twice (dice 2d20) to make both your presence of mind DC10 check and a hidden check for whatever action you proscribe
rolled 12 = 12Make Momentum == velocity/mass
rolled 4 + 1 = 5Summon Big O. It's show time.
rolled 5, 1 = 6>>6752196Ah crap now I have to reroll
rolled 13 = 13>>6752196Goto: Dresser
rolled 13 + 1 = 14Put on a skirt and makeup.
rolled 6 = 6>>6752196SHOW YOUR LEGS WHO THEIR BOSS IS AND STRIDE OVER TO THE WINDOW.
rolled 13, 8 = 21>>6752222>>6752200it's "dice 2d20"
>>6752222Methinks you're a clown now.
rolled 2, 6 = 8>>6752196LOOKING FOR SIGNS OF HERESY
rolled 7, 4 = 11Chase her down. Commence sex.
>>6752209You stare blankly for a bit. Something came to mind but disappeared just as quickly.>>6752217You walk up to the dresser. Your well worn pack is sitting on top. There is something on the wall above the dresser, some kind of shimmering surface.You can1. Attempt to open or interact with your pack, make a DC8 Dex check2. Make a DC5 knowledge check to identify that thing on the wall3. DC5 balance check to walk somewhere else in the room3. Something else. Roll twice (2d20) to make a DC10 presence of mind check and a hidden check for whatever action you proscribe.
rolled 4 = 4>>6752246Walk into blue glowy thing.
rolled 4, 15 = 19Put on skirt and makeup!
rolled 1, 13 = 14Try this again.Chase her down. Commence sex.
rolled 8 = 8>>6752246HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT ON THE WALL
rolled 12, 4 = 16This is a trap! Leap out the window at once!
>>6752253Even though you failed your check you still ram your head at the shimmering surface. You feel a slight pinch of pain - the surface is hard and doesn't actually go anywhere.>>6752265You successfully identify the shimmering surface as a mirror. There is something in view in the mirror. Make a DC5 spot check to be able to identify what the mirror is showing you.
rolled 3 = 3>>6752284To see one's self...
rolled 8 = 8Having obviously forgotten about prior plans...Identicatiation time!
rolled 16 = 16>>6752284WHATEVER COULD IT BE
rolled 12, 17 = 29FIRING MAIN CANNONS!
rolled 19 = 19>>6752292I can see this quest producing as much rage as lol.
>>6752292>>6752295With both a successful and failed check, you are able to identify the object in the mirror as a male human but are not able to identify it as yourself. You are puzzled at how the person in the mirror is mimicking your motions.You can1. Attempt to open or interact with your pack, make a DC8 Dex check2. DC5 balance check to walk somewhere else in the room3. Something else. Roll twice (2d20) to make a DC10 presence of mind check and a hidden check for whatever action you proscribe.
This is a pretty cool idea actuallybe all like roll to recognize the guy in the mirrorfailyou... don't recognize the person in the mirror.This isnt what you used to look like.
rolled 2, 14 = 16ATTACK THE MIMIC!
>>6752320FIGHT THE FUCKER! HE CHALLENGES OUR SUPREMECY!
rolled 3 = 3>>6752320Open pack.
rolled 10, 18 = 28>>6752332Aww, this is why I can't have nice things.
rolled 9 = 9>>6752320MUCK ABOUT WITH THE PACK
rolled 10 = 10>>6752340WHAT THE TITS
>>6752344>>6752332You had an idea come to mind, but it disappeared just as quickly. Oh well.>>6752340You place your hands on your pack and knead at it in an attempt to open it. Your fingers are tugging at it randomly yet the pack refuses to open and divulge its contents. After a minute or so the pack falls onto the floor after you accidentally push it off the dresser.1. Make a DC8 Balance check to pick up the pack from the ground2. DC5 balance check to walk somewhere else in the room3. Something else. Roll twice (2d20) to make a DC10 presence of mind check and a hidden check for whatever action you proscribe.
rolled 6, 14 = 20>>6752376Cast dimension door.
rolled 20 = 20>>6752376GET IT TOGETHER, BUTTERFINGERS.
rolled 3 = 3Walk somewhere else -- out of the room, if possible? If not, to the door.
rolled 8, 10 = 18OP, I'd like to thank you for the awesomest thread ever.>>6752376
rolled 1, 5 = 6>>6752376I have a great idea.Let's blink.
rolled 17 = 17>>6752410GREAT, NOW WE'RE GOING TO FORGET HOW TO OPEN OUR EYES.
rolled 17, 16 = 33>>6752376TAKE MY WAKEUP PILL AND FILL WITH ENERGY
>>6752397With swift surety of your physical control you deftly pick up the pack off the ground and are now holding it in your hands.>>6752399Unfortunately your self assurance evaporates as you turn towards the door and immediately fall over.>>6752410Your eyes could use the lubrication but the thought vanishes as quickly as it came. Oh well.
rolled 18, 5 = 23put on a skirt and makeup
rolled 2, 15 = 17>>6752438Levitate back off the ground.
rolled 5 = 5Crawl outside.
rolled 2, 16 = 18Shit my pants.
rolled 16 = 16>>6752438OPEN THE PACK, IT SHALL NOT MOCK US WITH ITS HIDDEN TREASURES.>>6752441DON'T THINK I DIDN'T SEE YOU DELETE THAT POST.
>>6752438With that being said1. Make a DC5 dex check to open your pack2. DC8 str check to stand up3. DC8 climb check to crawl to a point in the room4. Something else. Roll twice (2d20) to make a DC10 presence of mind check and a hidden check for whatever action you proscribe.
rolled 16 = 16>>6752464OpenOpenOpenOpenOpenOpenOpenOpen
>>6752463You easily undo the clasp and open your pack. There are various objects inside but you can't seem to make them out. First make a DC5 spot check to be able to see the inside of your pack and a DC8 knowledge check to be able to identify them.
rolled 19 = 19Stand the fuck up
rolled 7, 18 = 25>>6752482Remember how to perform basic actions.
rolled 1 = 1Lookin'
rolled 9, 2 = 11>>6752482I SURVEY ALL THAT IS IN FRONT OF ME AND AM FILLED WITH KNOWLEDGE OF ITS USE!
rolled 3, 14 = 17>>6752482TAKING A LOOK AT THE TRINKETS WITHIN.
rolled 16 = 16knowin'
rolled 18, 1 = 19Realize that you are a hermaphrodite
rolled 14, 6 = 20>>6752482I DELVE MY PACK LIKE A GYNECOLOGIST AT A STRIP CLUB
>>6752494Those poor DC10 presence of mind checks>>6752498You are able to make out the objects but have no idea what they are. There are some cloth-like objects inside, some rectangles, a pointy thing, and some yellow and grey circles. Something tells you these are important, but you just can't identify them.No matter. You're still lying on the floor and you're hungry again.1. DC8 str check to stand up2. DC8 climb check to crawl to a point in the room3. Something else. Roll twice (2d20) to make a DC10 presence of mind check and a hidden check for whatever action you proscribe.
rolled 3, 19 = 22>>6752550DAMNIT MAN, I WILL KNOW WHAT IS IN MY PACK AND I AM NOT LEAVING UNTIL I FIND OUT!
rolled 1 = 1>>6752550ARISE
rolled 3, 19 = 22>>6752550FIND BITCH, GET HER TO MAKE ME A SAMMICH
>>6752565Son of a bitch.
rolled 20 = 20>>6752568FFFFFF
rolled 18 = 18>>6752577>20SON OF A BITCH
rolled 15, 8 = 23>>6752550Increase personal knowledge to middle school graduate level.
rolled 11, 18 = 29put on a goddamn skirt!
So that's three failed presence of minds and on >>6752594 the DC for that is 20, sadly>>6752568Your muscles feel gelatinus. Your loss of muscle control results in you flopping over and your breathing suddenly becoming halting. Make a DC3 str save or die to continue breathing.
>>6752606Oh, SO close.
rolled 3 = 3>>6752621I BETTER NOT FUCK UP THIS TIME
rolled 1 = 1LIVE
rolled 13, 11, 13 = 37>>6752621NEW PLANARISE FROM GROUND, FIND BITCH, GET HER TO MAKE ME A SAMMICH
rolled 2, 13 = 15>>6752621Increase personal knowledge to the level of an average 6-year-old.
rolled 2 = 2>>6752621EVEN IN DEATH I STILL SERVE!
rolled 18, 16 = 34>>6752633Lucky mother fucker.Mastrobate furiously.
rolled 4, 14 = 18>>6752664
rolled 19, 20 = 39Realize that you are actually an anthropomorphic dog and regain all basic knowledge associated therein
>>6752666Whelp, Satan died.(Why is it that I seem to be the only person to get the 666 gets?)
>>6752633You continue breathing and you regain motor control, thankfully.>>6752653You step up off the ground and you have the sudden objective of food in mind, specifically food made by that girl who was in your room earlier. Unfortunately, you're not exactly sure how to do that, since she's not in the room. You do know she left through the door though, maybe you can go through it as well?You're standing in front of the door. 1. DC5 dex check to be able to open the door2. DC8 balance check to walk to another part of the room3. Two rolls for other action, presence of mind DC10 for the first
rolled 20, 1 = 21>>6752683Goddamnit, why'd I waste this roll on this. Fuck.Smash the door in.
rolled 20 = 20Open door.
rolled 8 = 8>>6752691Just... Just open the door.
>>6752691RIP THAT DOOR OF THE HINGES!
>>6752704Like it has NEVER been opened before!
rolled 10, 9 = 19>>6752691GO THROUGH THE DOOR IN SEARCH OF BITCHNOT OPEN DOOR AND STEP THROUGH, JUST GO THROUGH THE FUCKING DOOROPENING DOORS FIRST IS FOR PANSIES
>>6752683its been rolled! You have to do it!
I opened this thread and all I saw was a shitty DM railroading what could have been awesome.
rolled 2 = 2>>6752708GRAH!
rolled 5, 5 = 10>>6752691STARE HARDER AT THE GOODIES IN YOUR PACK.PERHAPS FURTHER INVESTIGATION WILL PROVE MORE SUCCESSFUL.
rolled 17, 2 = 19Dance like the awesome motherfucker you are
>>6752681You blink involuntarily, but the thought remains fleeting.>>6752701You attempt to smash the door down by pushing into it really hard, but the door doesn't budge. You windmill your arms at it repeatedly slapping your hands into it but it doesn't move at all, so you >>6752704nimbly and swiftly turn the door handle and open it, stepping through.You are in a hallway, but you can't make much of anything out. There are some noises coming from the end of the hallway, but you can't make those out either.Make a DC5 spot check to be able to see the hallway and a DC5 listen check to be able to understand what the auditory vibrations coming from the end of the hall.
rolled 12, 9 = 21Im going to help skirt manPut on a skirt
rolled 2, 18 = 20>>6752742Use eyes and ears. For the greater good.
rolled 2, 3 = 5Spot and listen.
rolled 19, 19 = 38>>6752742LOOKING AND LISTENING
rolled 18, 13, 11 = 42>>6752742LOOK FOR BITCH, LISTEN FOR SOUNDS OF SAMMICH-MAKINGWHEN FIND HER, TAKE HER SKIRT AND PUT IT ON
rolled 9, 13 = 22ah to hell with itPUT ON A SKIRT!
rolled 10, 2 = 12Put on a goddamn skirt!
>>6752717>>6752683You blink a bit. Philosophically you may not actually be human, but you're not sure what exactly a dog is. Or what anthropormorphism is. Oh well.>>6752718read name>>6752753The hallway remains blind to you, you know there's a door behind you but you can't make out anything else in the hallway, it seems to be a brownish blur.The noise at the end of the hallway consists of human voices and some clashing cookware. Apparently something is being cooked downstairs. You can make out the voices."...just not right in the head, I had to help him put on his clothes.""Don't worry about it, lass, he'll be up and at them within the week. This has happened before to a good friend of mine and he recovered.""...Your friend gets lost on a straight road.""Eh, don't sweat it, that's close enough to fully functional."The spot check has been failed and redoing it has DC30. You can1. DC8 balance check to walk towards the voices.2. DC13 balance check to walk somewhere else in the brownish blur3. Two rolls for other action, presence of mind DC10 for the first
rolled 14, 17 = 31Break through the floor like some kind of goddamn superhero
rolled 1, 20 = 21>>6752828Put on skirt.
rolled 7 = 7Walk to the voices.
rolled 4, 1 = 5go back to your room and put a skirt on.become beautiful.
rolled 12 = 12>>6752828WALK TOWARDS THOSE WHO THINK US STUPID.
>>6752837Wow, that was a DC15. You throw yourself into the floor with a mighty heave and break through the rotted mouldings, landing in a kitchen in a storm of wood and dust.Your impact with the kitchen floor has impeded your breathing. Make a DC4 Con check to clear your breathing.
rolled 5, 7 = 12>>6752849what the hell is this shit?
rolled 3 = 3Breathe!
rolled 12 = 12Walk into the girls room in search of a skirt
Well. I may not be breathing, but at least I'm pantsless in the kitchen.
rolled 10 = 10>>6752879/tg/ IS TERRIBLE AT ROLLING, IT SEEMS.
rolled 7 = 7>>6752885oh fuck BREATHE
rolled 10, 6 = 16>>6752884I have accepted failure as a fact of life.>>6752879Put on skirt.
rolled 13, 9, 10, 20 = 52>>6752879CLEAR THROAT, FIND BITCH, GET SAMMICH, TAKE HER SKIRT AND WEAR ITNOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER
Wow, we lost already.Make a DC 15 save to keep yourself from laughing.
rolled 8, 18 = 26Negotiate that it is imparitive that you have something to cover your glistening manhood at once. Clearly the only action is for them to give you their skirt
>>6752900Yeah that's like the third time you've died so far>>6752901>>6752903You cough and clear your airways. The girl is standing to the side, holding a frying pan and looking shocked at you lying in a small pile of debris, under the new hole in the ceiling. Something vaguely shaped enters the room, make a DC4 spot check to be able to see it.
rolled 2 = 2>>6752938See thing.
rolled 7 = 7SEEING THINGS
>>6752938See name.Commit the act of coitus upon the girl who dressed us.In the unlikely event that I make the presence of mind check, I'm taking my 20. If not... then I'm saving it. Obviously.
>>6752956I'd feel bad if I weren't already thrice dead.
rolled 11, 10, 12, 11, 11, 2, 18, 6 = 81ASK FOR SKIRT MANY TIMES
rolled 19 = 19>>6752969I swear, one of these days, I'll roll.
Take 20 on aquiring skirt.
rolled 8 = 8>>6752950This is really starting to bother me.
rolled 11, 18, 19 = 48>>6752938SEE THING, HAVE BITCH MAKE US SAMMICH, TAKE HER SKIRT AND PUT IT ON
>>6752938I think it's actually the 5th or 6th, since 3 different people rolled and failed in a row earlier.
rolled 8 = 8>>6752938KA -SPOT!
rolled 20, 7, 19, 4, 12, 14, 4, 8, 11, 9, 8, 2, 14, 20, 12, 15, 12, 7, 4, 16 = 218TAKING 20 ON AQUIRING SKIRT
>>6752950you really, really should consider life insurance>>6752951the figure is a nondescript looking man wearing an apron and an odd hat on his head.>>6752971You reach for the man but you're still prone on the ground, so your ranged touch attack has no effect.The man sighs. "I've been meaning to get that fixed. Too late now, I guess. Shani, have him cover himself and see if he's ok, it's bad enough he was hit on the head, he didn't need to fall through a floor too."Shani glances at the man, puts the frying pan down, and pulls down her skirt, revealing white garters. She places the skirt over your legs in an attempt to cover up your lack of pants, then steps back nervously, not sure what to do. The man sighs, staring at the hole in the ceiling.1. DC8 str check to stand up2. DC5 dex check to put on the skirt while prone3. 2d20 on DC10 presence of mind check to do something else
rolled 15 = 15PUT.ON.SKIRT.
rolled 9, 18 = 27>>6753037Use psyker powersbecome demonhost.
rolled 17 = 17>>6753037Put on skirt.It's not my fault, Laziest Troll cursed me and... and...Bawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
rolled 18 = 18OK. Other actions are allowable.Again, commit the act of coitus upon Shani.And, again, in the unlikely event that I make the presence of mind check, I'm taking my 20. If not... then I'm saving it. Obviously.
rolled 13 = 13>>6753037STAND UPTHEY SHALL BE FORCED TO GAZE AT OUR GLORIOUS PACKAGE.
>>6753068Second the taking 20 on this.
rolled 5, 4 = 9>>6753081third
>>6753037Stand up, then thank her for rescuing me, and ask her if there's anything we can do for her, as long as it's not anything stupid like some sort of deadly and perilous adventure. (First roll is to stand, second and third is for thinking and talking.)
rolled 15, 14 = 29>>6753037SHE WEARS ONLY GARTERSEXAMINE LACK OF PANTIES WITH TONGUE AND FINGERS IN HOPES OF FINDING FOOD
rolled 8, 17 = 25Get up.Say "But my legs are warm enough as it is".
>>6753104You're outnumbered!We're claiming her as our own!
>>6753062You put the skirt on. It's a bit small, but is a snug fit.>>6753068You look at Shani hungrily and attempt to rape her. Unfortunately you are still prone on the ground and your ranged touch attack fails, negating the use of the take 20.1. DC5 str to stand up2. DC8 climb to crawl to a point in the kitchen3. DC5 spot check to look around the kitchen4. 2d20 on DC10 presence of mind to do another action
>>6753104Fuck, stupid dice.
rolled 20 = 20>>6753113Wat.*sigh*Stand up.We'll get 'er next time, boys.
>>6753113Also Shani is staring at you with an embarrassed expression, being clothed only in her blouse and garters.
rolled 7 = 7>>6753113LET'S SEE IF I CAN FUCK UP LOOKING AROUND.
rolled 2, 6 = 8>>6753113FUCK.STAND UP. SEX UP THE GIRL. ITS NOT RAPE, WE SEDUCED HER EARLIER
rolled 20, 8 = 28>>6753113Gaze into oblivion
rolled 7, 10, 13, 16 = 46>>6753127NOTICE SHE HAS NO PANTIESSTEAL PANTS FROM OTHER DUDE AND GIVE THEM TO HER TO BE CHIVALROUSGET SAMMICH FROM HERFUCK HER SO HARD HER EVENTUAL GRANDKIDS WILL FEEL IT
rolled 11 = 11>>6753113Roll to avoid autosage.
rolled 3, 19 = 22Get erection from wearing skirt
>>6753142The thoughts that enter your mind are fleeting>>6753124>>6753128You stand up and take stock of your surroundings. Shani is still staring at you while standing next to a cookfire. There is a kettle of boiling water over the cookfire, and several cabinets lined up against the wall. There's an open doorway leading to another room, and a pile of wood and debris under a hole in the ceiling.
rolled 15, 5 = 20Spontanius Orgasm
rolled 8 = 8As before, with the take 20 after successful thought...TAKE SHANI AND MAKE HER OURS!
rolled 3 = 3>>6753178LET'S GET SOME GODDAMN GRUB BEFORE WE FORGET WHAT FOOD IS AGAIN.
>>6753167Already, goddammit.Well >>6753158You stare off into the distance blankly.A passing neutronium golem accidentally strikes the planet, immediately destroying it. Make a DC20 con save to survive the vacuum of open space
rolled 3 = 3>>6753230rolling to complete my own thread
rolled 21 = 21>>6753230EXCUSE ME I ROLL PERCENTILES
i love you elegan/tg/entlemen
Roll to archive thread.
>>6753243Meh>>6753250You take 20. You easily survive space by holding your breath until a passing Time Lord appears and sets you up for a new thread at some point in the future
rolled 15 = 15>>6753230WAIT WHATIRON HEART SURGE THE EFFECT OF "WITHOUT PLANET"
rolled 2, 15 = 17>>6753178Tell Shani there's a pair of trousers in the room you woke up in if she feels uneasy about her lack of clothing.
>>6753284Weeaboo fightan magic is not in play and the thread's in autosage, I'll do this again tomorrow maybeunless you want to do another quest along the same lines i dunno
rolled 1, 2, 5 = 8>>6753282That was humorous. Thank you for the two hours of ridiculous failure and character death.
no we can lose shani!
oh my god i'm laughing so hard i'm tearing up