Do share.

When my friends and I play this game.
We refer to that piece as the "butt plug".

Damn butt plug keeps stealing my shit.

.. I don't understand.

Is this a Settlers of Cattan thread?

Here you go.

Enjoy.

http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j59/webcomicjunkie/FYIAD.png

>>6814276
Yes... no?
maybe.

>>6814291
That's ridiculously tiny.

>>6814291
too small to read my man.

Heh. Now I get it.

>>6814261
I like that cow.

>>6814291
Hey russ, photobucket automatically resizes. Make sure to set "additional options" and "1MB file size". Keep it below that and the option ticked and it won't resize.

I am so confused.

>>6814316
Dragon-based lootan and pillagan game that Anon suggested and Russ developed. I assume Russ is going to pull his goddamn finger out and post some revised rules for us.

>>6814316
Perhaps if you paid more attention you would realize that you are not correct.

Why not just attach it to a post? This is after all an imageboard.

>>6814307
>>6814303
Well, fuck you're right.

Bear with me folks, I may have to post this manually.

>>6814341
I tried that in the first post.

"Image Resolution too Large" or somesuch.

Try Tinypic? Better yet, post a .pdf.

FUCK YOU! I’M A DRAGON!
A Game For The Dragon in Us All

-A /tg/ Production-

WHAT YOU NEED:

 At least 36 countryside-looking tiles (preferably more, increase by 18 each time), at least 4 of which contain mountains [Note: Catan works great for this]
 5 d10s; Red, Blue, Green, Black, and White
 6 d6s
 At least 100 gold-colored counters, 30 larger counters with different faces, and 1 red, blue, green, and black token for every tile (so a minimum of 144)
 At least 5 pieces to denote Villages (preferably more, especially with a larger board), 4 pieces for Lairs, 1 larger piece to represent the Kingdom, and 1 piece to represent the Adventurers
 50 Kobold cards, 25 Cow cards, and 25 Gold cards
 20 Virgin/Princess/Maiden/Squire/Sheppard(ess)/etc. cards
 2 to 4 players

>>6814359
if you want to post it here, cut it up into parts.

>>6814367
Tinypic is only slightly better. Very slightly.


SET UP:

Shuffle the countryside and mountain tiles together and then arrange them into an approximate square. Place the Kingdom in the center of the board and then randomly place the Villages down.
Take all the large counters and place them heads up on every tile that does not contain a Village or the Kingdom.
Take the Loot cards and shuffle them: this is the Loot deck.
Each player takes 3 Gold counters and 1 Kobold card.
Roll to determine turn order.
Players then choose a corner to begin in; this is by turn order; players place the d10 on the corner with the 1 facing up.
Decide which player will control the Adventurers
Begin the game!

TURN SEQUENCE:

Dragon Points:
Dragon Points are generated at the beginning of each players turn. They are gained as follows. 1 DP is gained each turn no matter what, 1DP is awarded for every Village the player controls, 1 DP for every 5 Gold pieces a player has, 1 DP for every 4 tiles a player controls, 1 DP for every other player you defeated in a Duel or an Attack during the last turn, and 1 DP if you defeated the Adventurers.
You gain 2 DP per turn if you control the Kingdom.
Note that you can never go above 10 DP

Eating Cows:
After you generate DP, you must then eat (discard) one Cow for every two DP you have, rounded down. If you cannot; or for some reason, choose not to, you lose 1 DP for the difference. For example, if you have 7 DP, but only 2 Cows, you lose 3 DP.
Note that you can never go below 1 DP.

Movement:
Movement is determined by the amount of Dragon Points a player has. They may move a number of tiles each turn equal to half the amount of DP they have, plus one. Players do not spend DP on Movement; it merely represents it. You may move farther than your allotted Movement, but it you must discard one Cow for every extra tile you move; each extra tile requires an additional Cow. For example, if you wish to move 2 additional tiles, you must discard 3 Cows.

Exploration:
Each time a player moves onto a tile, they may choose to Explore it. To explore a tile, a player pays 1 DP and flips the Exploration counter; it is re-flipped at the beginning of the next player’s turn. After this, the player draws from the Loot deck; keep your Loot cards secret.

Loot Cards:
There are three types of Loot cards:
1. Gold: if you draw a Gold card, you automatically gain 2 Gold; then discard it.
2, Cows: if you draw a Cow card, put it into your hand. Cows are used for eating, movement, and bartering with Villages and the Kingdom.
3. Kobolds: if you draw a Kobold card, put it into your hand. Kobolds are used in the following ways:
 Anytime another player rolls a dice, you may spend any amount of Kobolds to reduce or increase their roll by that much (your choice).
 Anytime another player gains or spends DP, you may spend any amount of Kobolds to reduce or increase what they spend or receive (your choice).
 You may spend Kobolds to steal other players or a Village’s Cows and Gold; flip a coin, heads, you get Gold, tails, you get Cows. Flip for every Kobold you spend.
 You may eat a Kobold instead of a Cow, but the next time you spend a Kobold, you must use one more than you would normally need to.
 You may spend Kobolds to negate the use of a Kobold card; alternatively, you may spend 1 DP and just eat the Kobolds (1 DP per Kobold), but you count as eating a Kobold.
 You may spend a Kobold (up to 3 per turn) to explore one adjacent tile without spending a DP.
 If Adventurers attack your Lair, you may spend Kobolds to defend it; spend one Kobold if the Adventurers moved 6 tiles to reach the Lair, you must spend 3 Kobolds to defeat them; 4 if they moved 5, 5 if they moved 4, etc.

Mountains and Lairs:
When a player moves onto a Mountain tile they may do two things: Explore it, or build a Lair. To build a Lair, you must spend 5 Gold, 5 DP, or 5 Kobolds, or in any combination. Your Lair is where you begin your conquest of the world; place a Lair token on the Mountain.

Villages:
When a player lands on a Village they may do one of a few things:
• You may Barter; trading 1 Gold for 1 Cow, or vice versa.
• You may Pillage; spend 1 DP and roll 1d3, or 3 DP and roll a d6, then flip a coin: this determines how much of either Gold or Cows you get (heads is Gold, tails is Cows).
• You may steal a Virgin; gamble up to 2-6 DP, then roll a d6: if you roll equal to, or beat your bet, you get that much DP in your next turn, plus you get a Virgin. This makes you a target for Adventurers.
• You may demand Worship; roll a d10: if you roll under your current DP, you control the Village.
Players may attack other player’s Villages; this is resolved as an attack with the Village counting as the player with 1d3 DP, unless the player is in their Village, wherein it is just an attack.
Controlling a Village means you get 2 Cows and 2 Gold per turn, per Village, but it makes you an even bigger target to Adventurers.

Have you tried image shack?
http://imageshack.us/

It doesn't resize anything unless you tell it to.

Duels and Attacking:
When a player moves to a tile occupied by another Dragon, they may do one of two things; challenge the other Dragon to a Duel, or outright Attack them.
Duels are as follows; each player rolls a d6 and adds their DP. Before the duel is fought, the players may wager on the outcome; Gold, Cows, Kobolds, Virgins, Villages, Territory and even the Kingdom may be gambled. Kobolds may NOT be used to affect the outcome of a duel.
Alternatively, the players may simply attack each other; this is resolved as a duel, but the loser must forsake 2d6 Gold to the winner, lose all their DP (the winner does not gain this DP), and start the next turn in their Lair.
A player may attack another player’s Lair; this is resolved as an attack with the Lair counting as the player with 1d6 DP plus any amount of discarded Kobolds, unless the player is in their Lair, wherein it is just an attack.
Dragons may never attack Adventurers; your hubris is far too great to assume they can do anything to hurt you.

>>6814416
Thank you sir!


The Kingdom:
A player cannot freely move into the Kingdom; they must spend 1 DP to even enter. Once in the Kingdom you may do the following:
You may Barter as in a Village; trading 1 Gold for 1 Cow, or 1 Gold for 1 Kobold, or 1 Cow for 1 Kobold, or any other combination of the three.
You may attack the Kingdom, which is resolved as follows.
Roll a d3+1; this is how many duels the player must fight against the Kingdom, which counts as a Dragon with 10 DP points; you may use Kobolds. If the player wins; they gain 5 Gold and 5 Cows, but start the next turn with only half the allotted DP as you recuperate from the battle. If you lose, you are moved back to your Lair, lose all but 1d6 Gold and 1 Cow and 1 Kobold, and generate no DP next turn.
If you control the Kingdom you gain 8 Gold, Kobolds, or Cows in any mix at the beginning of each turn.

Territory and Tiles:
Whenever a player lands on an unclaimed tile, they may end all Movement and forsake the rest of their turn; during their next turn, after generating DP, they may spend 5 DP in order to Capture the Territory; alternatively, you may Capture a tile by ending your Movement and discarding 10 Kobolds. Note that you may only Capture tiles that are adjacent to your Lair, or border your Territory.
To Capture other Dragon’s Territory, simply attack the player and win: all their Territory that borders yours becomes yours.
Territories produce 1 Gold, Cow, or Kobold each turn in addition to being able to be explored.

Adventurers:
The first time a Dragon does anything to a Village that is not Bartering, the Adventurers are placed on the board on the Kingdom tile. Adventurers move randomly on each player’s turn for a random amount of tiles; their controller rolls a d6, this determines how many tiles they move and then another d6 to determine where they move.
The exception to this rule is if a player has stolen a Virgin; then the Adventurers will move to that player’s Lair. If they reach the Lair roll 2d6; this is how much Gold that player loses. They also lose the “Virgin” and cease to be a target.
The other exception is if a player has captured a Village; the Adventurers will move to the Village and stop; the player will not gain any Gold, Cows, or DP on their next turn from the Village. On the next turn the Adventurers will move towards the controlling player’s Lair, see above.
Adventurers have a short attention span; if they are moving towards a Lair with a Virgin in it and another player steals a Virgin; on the next turn, the Adventurers will then move to that player’s Lair. The same applies for captured Villages.

Win Conditions:
If a player satisfies any of the following events at the beginning of their turn, they win the game:
 Control all the Villages
 Control the Kingdom and at least half of the Villages
 Gain at least 25 Gold
 Own at least 25 Kobolds
 Own at least 8 Virgins
 Control 20+ Tiles

...aaand that's it.

Here is the link again:

http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/5183/fyiad.png

Please tell me what you think and point out stuff that still needs fixing or is confusing and ideas for an expansion.

I'll probably try to get my friends to try this out sooner or later.
The only thing bugging me at the moment is it might be too easy to get 25 gold. But I should play before assuming.

>>6814546
Perhaps. But that is why you must steal it from the others at every opportunity...

Doo dee doo...

>>6814479
You haven't set a minium on the amount of resources wagered on duels. There's still nothing stopping the weaker dragon from betting nothing.

>>6814663
goddamn that is a sexy khopesh

>>6814684
True, and there's nothing stopping the stronger one from attacking. I could almost believe this was a good thing.

Bahmpuu!

>>6814780
You will never earn anything from a duel, ever, because neither player will wager resources. I suggest making it a minimum of d5 (d10/2, rounding down).

Bump!

I do not have enough Dragon-girl pics.

>>6816694
I'll spam your Mom's Anontalk com, spambot.

>>6816704

> in before Leman Russ gets banned for actually saying the site's name.

The only problem I have with this, having only skimmed it, is Holy Fuck That's A Lot Of Counters.

>>6816760
Also, I'm totally not the OP. Damn forgetting to clear out the name field.

>>6816749
Oh is that why?

>>6816760
As long as I'm under Civ: the Board Game, I'm good.

bump!

Settlers of Catan ftw.

Whatever the fuck OP is talking about ftl.

>>6817255
Fuck You, I'm A Dragon.

>>6817255
Your opinion is noted.

Please Note that if you achieve the Kobold Win Condition you are either a super dick, just as planned, or incredibly lucky.

Because you'll be going through these guys like popcorn.

Seriously guys?
This is ORIGINAL RELATED CONTENT, and you're ignoring it for troll threads? Really?
You make me sad sometimes

Holy FUCK I HATE CATTAN

>>6817867
It's interesting but I've never played catan and don't have the pieces. I can't comment if it's balanced or test it.

>>6817888
It's not Catan!

>>6817867
Me Mad?

Does anyone know of any good Board Game supply shops?

>>6818175
You mean online stores? depends where you live. I'm an ausfag, I can't help much for the rest of the world.

>>6818193
Yup, online; when I was trying to make an Advanced Wars game, some Anon posted a link that was mind-blowingly helpful, I saved it, but my profile on my desktop kinda disappeared, so I don't have it any more.

>>6818222
there's an advance wars boardgame?

>>6818294
I stopped working on it; but there really is one in development.

>>6818222
ausfag
http://www.seropeco.com.au

amerifag
https://www.myriadgames.com

britfag
http://www.boardgamecentral.com

>>6818400
Aw damn, thanks, but I meant shops that supply stuff with which to make your own board games.

Sorry about that...

>>6818497
Can't help you there Russ, sorry. My crafty stuff doesn't extend beyond 40k conversions. Good luck though.

>>6818660
It's alright, Anon, and thanks.

Bump

Most excellent.

>>6819317
Indeedily doo?

>>6819535
Yep, you should feel proud. Well... if the fabled Wolf Lord could feel any prouder then he permanently is.

>>6819703
What did I say about humility?!

*hits with fan again*

>>6819703
fffffffffffffFFFFFF 10/10 10/10 10/10

I LIKED THE GAME BUT THIS MADE ME RAGE SO HARD I BROKE MY HAND FUCK I'M BLEEDING BUT BEFORE I CAN GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT I HAVE TO POST THIS FUCK

>>6819821
My training is over master, I have become immune to fan hits... because I don't have a head anymore.

>>6819821
You could hurt someone with that, please do be careful.

>>6819988
You mean he could hurt your shota love interest eh?

>>6819967
pic related?

>>6820111
Indeed.

>>6820013
Awwww.

>>6820013
Yeah why not.

>>6820210
Looks like Blacky doesn't want your love. *trollface.jpg*

>>6820210
>>6820175
>>6820013

Pain is used to hone body and mind!

And then it should be followed up by contemplation of how weak you are!

Contemplate!

>>6820253
I have become strong master. Strong indeed.

>>6820210
*hugs* Hold me in your arms you beast, then ravage me like no other man ever has.

>>6820111
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED?

>>6820253
Use it whenever you feel like it! It never expires!

>>6820280
I HAVE BEEN TRICKED

>>6820305
Into what?

>>6820359
HOT DICKINGS

FROM A REAL AMERICAN HERO

WHO'S A DOCTOR

A *REAL* DOCTOR

>>6820381
Nya~

Don't say stuff like that I'm all hot for doctors. Probably because one accidentally ruptured a vein in my arms when trying to draw blood while drunk. I get all hot from RAGE every time I think about it.

>>6820381

>>6820381
I'm not a doctor!

Whats the optimal number of boards that I'd need?

>>6820422
You killed my mom! And she loved it!

>>6820423
Two Settlers of Catan boards, if you're using those.

>>6820405g
I've got to introduce you to a certain Gnoll, then...

Dammit, Russ strikes again!

>>6820453
N-no, not her please. I don't like demonic pseudo penises. And she's busy with a bard anyway. No time for little me. I think I'll just throw my body to anon now and let them have their way with me till I'm half dead and insane from pleasure.

>>6814291
Jesus Christ Russ, that's HUGE. Good job.

>>6820432
Lies! You are telling lies!

>>6820475
I'm not touching you, at all.

>>6820475
Let the dicking commence!

>>6820453
2 are enough? Awesome, I'll probably play it next weekend.

>>6820507
I will!

Once again, Russ is awesome.

>>6820530
Dem childbearing hips.

>>6820541
So you want children, eh? Come with me!

>>6814267
Sweeet.
Aren't all the pieces kinda buttplug looking?

>>6820541
Well, she IS a harvest goddess. Fertility and all that. Yes I know that's not how it works.

She's also descended from the MILFest of gods ever known.

>>6820617
I'm torn between impregnating Horo or fucking Blackheart!

Shitty circlejerks and useful content all in one thread? I can't figure whether to approve or hate you to death.

>>6820629
>both

WOOD FOR SHEEP

>>6820646
And now an attention whore sagefag. Its getting better and better by the second!

Who's in!

>>6820717
I'm in, if I can get my dick out of bh.

>>6820732
Keep it in, turn around, fuck like a dog, keep drinking till you're full, ???, fun times.

>>6820646
You're right, if sort of rude about it.

I'd like some feedback, if you please. I know nobody is going to go out and play it right now, but I'm more for just editing at the moment.

>>6820794
Eh, it looks fine, wait a while till someone playtests then you can get some valid criticism.

>>6820617
What?
Horo has more backstory?

>>6814267

We call him the Nigger. It's funny because he is a thief. Who is black.

And then we do silly accents when he fails to steal stuff that we actually want.

>YOU INCOMPETENT FOOL, I ORDERED YOU TO STEAL SHEEP, NOT ROCKS!
>I'M SORRY MASSAH, DEM SHEEPS SHO LOOKS LIKE ROCKS TO ME! LAWDY!

Christ, I'm ashamed of myself.

Virgin win condition seems too easy without interference. All you have to do is fly around from village to village betting 2 DP each time, you'll almost always get a virgin and gain an extra 2 DP next turn giving you the boost to get to the next village.

I mean, sure, if you've got kobolds to burn it doesn't seem like a winning strategy but still...

>>6821070
You're absolutely correct.

I mean the downsides are that its gambling, if you don't make it, you lose the DP, and of course other players will be trying to fuck you up at every opportunity, but that's no excuse for an easy win path...

What if you gambled 1 to 6 DP, and only steal a Virgin and gain the DP if your roll equals what you wagered? The Virgin win condition would also be lowered to 5.

>>6820771
Dogs are built for that. Humans tend to get horrible penis strain and also it crushes your balls.

Go back to trolling with low quality porn.

>>6820940
I lol'd.

>>6820940
Ridiculous accents while playing Settlers of Catan thread.

We all adopt a fake accent of Slavic/Russian/Middle Eastern origin, then start arguing like mad for no reason. An old joke surfaces from Risk quite frequently: (in heavy slavic accent) "NO ONE TAKE UKRAINE!" becomes "NO ONE TAKE MY GRAIN!"

>>6821175
Just for you.

>>6821218
Post some more.

>>6821175
Leman Russ has good porn. He just mostly posts it in /d/.

>>6821235
Yet he never posts good porn here.

>>6821204

I'll sometimes adopt an excitable, middle-eastern type when buying and selling.

GOOD MORNING SIR, HOW YOU ARE DOING, FOR YOU SIR VERY GOOD PRICE SIR! MORNING PRICE! TWO GRAIN FOR ONE WOOD SIR! WHAT? GET OUT OF MY SHOP YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME!

What is the slut/virgin exchange ratio?

>>6821255
Do I have to?

>>6821262
I find that hilarious.

>>6821291

might as well, this thread is going nowhere.

>>6821290
You only get Virgins/Maidens/Princesses or Squires/Shepards/Farmboys (can't forget the lady and gay Dragons, now can we?)

>>6821303
And you want it right now too? I was kinda hoping for it to be a slightly respectable thread...

>>6821346
Just go post it in /d/ then link from here.

in b4 furry

>>6821382
We got over that in the first thread.

>>6820658

>>6821303
>>6821346
Fuck ya'll

It is porn time.

>>6821897
moar

>>6821897
That was an awfully short porn time...

>>6821897

One last bump before bed, as I was wondering whether that kind drawfag was back.

Probably not, but it never hurts to check.

>>6822391
She seems to enjoy cawk

>>6821897
>>6822391
>>6822465
Let's derail the thread with porn, then. That sounds like a mighty fine idea.