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  • File : 1259198550.jpg-(75 KB, 879x1500, GoldenGoblinStatue.jpg)
    75 KB Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:22 No.6868629  
    You are a goblin, and until recently, you were one among many.

    You've spent the whole of your short life running through the abandoned chambers and mined out sections of an ancient dungeon. While your mates raided nearby travelers and caravans, you were too young and stayed in the deeps. When a group of hired adventurers invaded your home, slew your clan, and stole what little you had, you did what you knew best and hid in the deeps.

    Your clan litters the stonework. The halls are silent, and you are alone.

    What do you do?
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)20:24 No.6868646

    Swear to get my revenge.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:25 No.6868667

    You grit your gnarled little teeth and ring your tiny fist, your howl echoing through the caverns.

    You then realize it was your stomach. You're hungry.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:26 No.6868668
    Is this a quest thread?

    I gather any weapons and food I can find. Do we have some kind of ancient, bloodthirsty God? If so, pray to him.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:26 No.6868673
    Decide that vengeance is too much work for those bastards. We can stew their meat for food and carve out a wonderful life in this now-abandoned dungeon.
    >> Infested Trap 11/25/09(Wed)20:27 No.6868684
    Take the chief's hat, it was always very nice and now no one can stop us from claiming it
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:28 No.6868691

    You pull the surprisingly fine dagger from the back of Giglib's head. One of the adventurers must have thrown it. You don the cat-skin coat of your now dead clanleader.

    You aren't sure what a god is.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:28 No.6868699
    If there are any puddles around, I examine myself and my current possessions.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:28 No.6868702
    hide in a shanty and wait for the adventurers to find me so I can end my miserable life.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:29 No.6868714
    If there is any food around, I take it and eat it. If not, let's start cannibalizing.

    Do I know my way out of this place?
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:30 No.6868721
    I cry, because I am sad.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)20:30 No.6868722
    I do what I have to do an cannibalise the dead bodies.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)20:30 No.6868725

    You take is cathead hat. He was always so proud of it.


    You examine yourself. You are now fashionable outfitted with a cathead hat, a catskin coat, and a dirty loincloth. You have an almost comically large steel dagger, and a beaten-up sack containing two mushrooms. You are shoeless.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:31 No.6868738

    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)20:33 No.6868749

    You weep. You weep even harder than the time you stubbed your toe on a sharp rock, but you know what must be done.

    You flay the meat from a dead clansmen - Filbblesnot. He's first because he used to punch you in the head while you slept. You then pile the meat and some left over wineskin water in the communal pot, and begin to cook.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:33 No.6868758
    Are we in Shadowfell Keep? Did we know a Splug?
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:34 No.6868763
    check if we are male or female
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:34 No.6868774
    Sing goblin ditties!

    You can't cannibalize people in silence. There must be cheery music!
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:34 No.6868775
    We need a name.

    I propose Bruce.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:35 No.6868781
    I review the current skills that I possess.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)20:35 No.6868783

    Filbblesnot's feet are larger than yours... you think they should work. Sadly, you don't know how to sew, and curing the footleather did not cross your mind. You lash the footskin to your own with the loincloths of a few other clansmen. You realize you could have just made the shoes from the loincloths.

    Your feet are now wet with fat and blood, but covered. Shoes feel weird.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:37 No.6868815
    Dance about a bit.

    We ought to get used to these things.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)20:38 No.6868822
    I start making an armor made out of the bones of my dead brethren.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)20:38 No.6868826

    You have a thingy. That means you're male, right?


    You names have varied from "You there!" to "Steamy Wolf Pie!" You are most often called "Get away from me things!" You seem to favor the name "Bruce," inexplicably.


    You have always been good at sneaking and hiding, but so are all goblins. You were best at foraging for mushrooms and fungus in the deep. You've never been on a hunt or raid. In fact, you've barely stepped beyond the gate of the dungeon. You've fought with your clansmen, but never to hurt, just to get their things.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:38 No.6868829
    search the cave's. the chief is bound to have something cool in his.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)20:41 No.6868871
    You attempt to peirce the gloom with song and dance. Apparently, you found the clansleader's wineskin of grog. The footshoes prove a bit slippy, as the old fat greases the rags. You enjoy a good game of sliding about the smoother stones before growing bored.


    You examine the bones of Filbblesnot, Perhaps they could be armor? You tie them together with some trap rope, forming an incredible crude poncho. The rib pokes poke at your, and are uncomfortable, but it seems like it should work. Kinda.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)20:41 No.6868872
    We are Bruce, our clan is dead, revenge must be had, exfiltrate the dungeon
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:42 No.6868892
    Travel the other direction from the adventurers. They sloppily left Bruce alive. Perhaps there are other monsters swearing vengeance. We could raise an army!
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:44 No.6868911
         File1259199860.gif-(136 KB, 490x3101, My Parents are Dead comic.gif)
    136 KB
    In case you're wondering what our plan is...
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:44 No.6868913

    Check if male or female
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)20:44 No.6868914

    After partaking of the clansleader's grog, you search his corner for anything else of value. He bowstring has snapped, and he has a Wackin' Stick, but it doesn't look as nice as the knife you found. You do find a pouch of shiny grey metal, which you take.

    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)20:45 No.6868925
    I adopt the nickname Killfist and now decides to first find a powerful weapon. Later I will make a goblin party, I shall take my revenge on the adveturers and kill anyone in my path.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)20:46 No.6868937
    We must kill them when they are at their weekest, in bed with hookers/each other, after blowing half their money on a party...this is conan right?
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:46 No.6868939
    Please read the thread before posting.

    We are Bruce.

    We have a shiny knife.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:47 No.6868945
    Eat EVERYTHING I can to become the biggest goblin ever. Then I leave the caves and find another Goblin clan and bully my way to the top (all the while eating to become bigger and bigger) and begin to take over all the nearby mountains. Then I send my hordes and hordes of goblins to crush the city where the adventurers were hired.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:47 No.6868948

    Same idea.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)20:47 No.6868954
    Fine then it is Bruce Killfist then.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:48 No.6868960
    Steal Burfspat's bag. It was always filled with jerky. Bruce loves jerky.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)20:48 No.6868962

    You search about for a few hours, but find no one else. You manage to catch a rat, which you've placed alive in your pouch of metal. You also found another mushroom.

    You approach the edge of the dungeon gate. It's not dark, but it's not bright either. The sky is kind of orange. You never spent more than a couple hours looking outside - seems to big - but it looks like the dark is going away.

    You play with your thing again. You think your male. Males have thing, yeah?
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:48 No.6868969
    Leave the cave, also try to remember what the adventurers looked like.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:50 No.6868989
         File1259200249.jpg-(16 KB, 365x417, dwingvatt.jpg)
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    I'd become badass, and slaughter entire cities and legions of soldiers virtually singlehandedly.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:50 No.6868992
    Guys, we're being far too straightfoward. We are a creature of darkness and shadows. Outright combat in the light is contrary to our nature.

    We will stay in the shadows. We shall find the adventurers mothers, children, and wives as they come to the shadows to rest. We shall do despicable things to them, ruin them forever, but leave them alive, cowering in the shadows behind us. The adventurers may find us and destroy us, but it will never solve that accusing look in their loved ones' eyes; the look that says that it's their fault. If they had finished the job, or stayed home like good men, this would never have happened.

    They took our kin from us. We shall be far more brutal.

    We shall let them keep what is left of theirs.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)20:50 No.6868993

    You have his bag, but you used his jerky in your Fibblesnot stew. The stew was not tasty, but it filled you. It tasted like burnt dog, and the jerky just got tougher. Using gob fat and puddle water for the broth probably wasn't a good idea either. Oh well.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)20:51 No.6868998
    Yeah but we are angry now.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:53 No.6869021
    Anger's good. Anger will get it up for those ugly humans we plan to ravage.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)20:54 No.6869037

    You toddle out of the dungeon gate, onto the rocky foothills before you. A dense, pine forest lays before you. From your vantage point, you can see smoke rising from what looks like a blocky forest far off in the distance. You can also make out what like a trail leading through the forest.

    You only caught glimpses of the murderers from your hiding spot. One long ear with a bow, one stumpy man all covered in beard and with an axe, and a pretty man with firefingers. There could have been more you didn't see.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)20:55 No.6869046
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:55 No.6869049
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:56 No.6869060
    this and steroids
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)20:56 No.6869063
    No, we are a new creature, we can redefine ourselves, our society is ours to forge for we are born not of darkness, but of hate, revenge, JUSTICE! We must strike these genocidal devils when justice will be most sweet, when they are seperate, alone, because we are Bruce Killfist, we are VENGEANCE!
    in that regard begin exploring area, looking for hero evidence
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:57 No.6869079
    Dress as a batgoblin.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:57 No.6869083
    Return to cave.

    Forge hat out of bat.

    Come back out of cave.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:57 No.6869084
         File1259200670.gif-(24 KB, 691x881, Goblins comic summarized.gif)
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    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)20:58 No.6869098

    You contemplate your new found name. You Bruce Killfist. You don't know why you have two names, or why you like them.

    You consider your options. You're saddened by the loss of your clan. The bad murderers should pay, but you don't know how to fight well, and you don't know whee they are. The sky is getting brighter.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)20:58 No.6869101
    and cape
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)20:58 No.6869102
    We will need some kinda steed if we are to travel swiftly trough the night.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)21:03 No.6869152

    After trying to catch a bat from the mouth of the dungeon for an hour or so, you finally find one, and tie it to your cathead hat. If flaps violently, and screeches something awful, but eventually calms down.

    You then venture out. Your time foraging for rats and mushrooms has served you well. You find four sets of footprints. One set is light and long, one of heavy and large. Two more are just kinda normal. They lead down the foothills, before turning into weird U shapes. You find dried poop and hay, and the trail leads off through the woods.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:03 No.6869159
    Climb a tree. Sleep there until nighttime. Alternatively go back to the cave and practice stabbings on the guys you hate.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)21:05 No.6869175
    Look for farm animals to take my revenge on and possibly eat.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)21:06 No.6869186
    this, farm animals may also provide better shoes...also investigate farm homes at darkfall
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:07 No.6869196
    Please, somebody, draw a picture of our guy. He's a goblin wearing a hat made of a cat's head with a live bat strapped to it, armor made out of other goblins' ribs, and shoes made out of other goblins' faces.

    Give him a look of determination. Make sure one hand is in his pants. Thing means male, right?
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)21:09 No.6869222

    You don't see much, mostly just trees. You see a deer grazing. You hide in the shrubs, and wait for it to approach, but it does not. You fall back on your secondary plan of leaping at it with your shiny knife and yelling, but it is far to fast.

    You resolve to climb a tree. You find a prickly one, but once you get to the truck, there are plenty of branches and it isn't too thick. You climb up and stab the tree until goey stuck leaks out. It isn't getting dark very fast.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)21:12 No.6869255

    Farms... you heard Browcrak say something about pig dogs on a "farm" off to the northwest. When you were on the foothills, you saw a blocky, smoking forest. You think northwest would be need there, kinda to the left of it.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)21:13 No.6869264
    We must contemplate these genocidal devils that would come into what was our home and destroy all that we hold most dear, except Filbblesnot he used to punch us in the head so we're fine with them killing him, but the rest WHY!?!?!
    Now these adventurers, one had a long pointy ear, what kind of freak is that, certainly gay.
    The short bearded one seems particulary dangerous, save him for later when we have deadlier weapons, as for the normal one...what do we make of him?
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:18 No.6869332

    Elf Ranger, Dwarf Fighter, and Human Wizard. Way to play on stereotypes.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)21:19 No.6869352
    Elf rogue, human swordsage, dwarf bard...same description but not what you'd expect
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:20 No.6869361

    i thought it was elf wizard and human ranger
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:21 No.6869375
    Run real fast to the farm. Get real fit and strong.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:22 No.6869382
    Just charge at everything in blind anger.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)21:22 No.6869390
    Also look for potential huge weapons.
    >> Brave Devil 11/25/09(Wed)21:23 No.6869411
    God, you guys suck. canthavenicethings.jpg

    We are a young goblin, and probably quite squishy. Let's practice with the knife for a while.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:27 No.6869466
    Bruce Killfist must find a way to become more intelligent. he looks for studying materials
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:28 No.6869470

    You take off running down the path. Your time spent scurrying in the dungeon serves you well, and you make it a good way before falling over and panting. Also, your footshoes are dirty now, and make a funny squishing noise.

    You continue your pattern of running none stop and then falling over in exhaustion - it seems like the most efficient way to travel. You stop variably to play with a big tree limb and charge attack squirrels. You manage to hit one with a rock, and it makes a good snack.

    You now how a squirrel pelt, and you're carrying a tree limp for no real reason. You come to the edge of the forest to find some trees cut into a wall, but whoever made is stupid and put holes in it and made it short. Also, there are fat, hairless dogs behind the tiny wall. And a... house? Yeah, you think it's a house. Browcrak says he went in one once to take things.

    It is dark now, and holes in the house glow like there is fire inside.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:30 No.6869494
    we must stealth our way over and slit the dogs throats after removing our shoes.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)21:30 No.6869500
    Ummm whats a tree limp, go over the wall, investigate hairless dogs, do they bite, do they taste good?
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:30 No.6869503
    Don't kill the hairless dogs. They seem like they would make loud noises. Instead sneak to a window and sneakily peek inside. BE SNEAKY.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:31 No.6869508
    wait wait wait wait

    so they have fire? IN THEIR HOUSES?

    doesn't that mean nobody would notice one more fire? or another? or a dozen?

    burn it to the ground. burn it all.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:31 No.6869513

    You stab at the badwall for a while. The hairless fat dogs just seem to stare at you and grunt. You contemplate getting smart like the clansleader, or Browcrak. Browcrak always knew stuff. Maybe that's why he had non eye. He needed room for knowing stuff.

    You decide you want to know more stuff, but you don't know how you'll do that.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:35 No.6869560
    then we shall knock on the door of the house and ask if they have any smart materials for knowing stuff
    >> Brave Devil 11/25/09(Wed)21:35 No.6869563
         File1259202939.jpg-(37 KB, 555x448, nicethings.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:37 No.6869580

    You keep through a hole in the badwall and approach one other hairless dogs, baring your knife and and teeth. It seems completely unperturbed, and continues to eat it's slop like the others. It has a funny nose and tail. Might be tasty.

    You delay in killing it for the moment and creep up to the house. You are very dirty now. You see... glass? Yeah glass. It's what those torches in cages that Giglib took from the caravan were made out of. Inside, you see a lot of wood and a fire in a little stone tunnel. Looks like an old man, a young man, and a smaller girl inside, sitting around the fire tunnel and talking.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:37 No.6869583
    SNEAK AND RECONNAISSANCE! Learn stuff by sneaking and thinking.
    >> DA BOSS !l0Ve65SXyU 11/25/09(Wed)21:38 No.6869594

    >> Brave Devil 11/25/09(Wed)21:39 No.6869603

    The mans might know things. But we're kind of dirty. We should give them a present! Does the funnybadwall have a way in?
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:40 No.6869617

    You think about introducing yourself to the people and asking about the killers, but you're afraid to. Clansleader always told you people are mean and evil. Beat them and poke them before they have a chance to beat and poke you. Maybe these people are different though? You debate your options while.

    Your shoes are now filled with mud, which has mixed with the blood and fat to create a very squishy mixture. It makes funny sounds.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:40 No.6869622
    Hide things by a bush. Hit self a little and maybe a small cut with a dagger. Knock at door and look pathetic. Be as sweet as possible. Tall squishy humans like small hurt things.
    >> Brave Devil 11/25/09(Wed)21:41 No.6869626

    Put the knife away first!
    >> DA BOSS !l0Ve65SXyU 11/25/09(Wed)21:41 No.6869632
         File1259203308.jpg-(52 KB, 885x666, 1251574141101.jpg)
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    Run in and throw the fire at people! BURN!
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:42 No.6869636
    it seems, as a goblin, we have two sides of our morality:.with humans, it's good and evil.

    with goblins, it is as follows:

    Advance yourself
    Fuck the world

    these two are opposite desires, but both play into a goblin.

    I wonder how this goblin will act?
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:42 No.6869641
    remove shoes, find a shiny rock, present it as tribute to the man when they open the door... after knocking of course.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)21:42 No.6869648
    Steal their books, stay in their woodshed, take in their crops for them...wait not Frankenstein right...

    in that case, watch them, wait for them to go to sleep, steal a hairless dog, take it as your companion
    >> DA BOSS !l0Ve65SXyU 11/25/09(Wed)21:44 No.6869668
    Also, ride THE BIGGEST hairless pig you can find and make it smash stuff!
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)21:46 No.6869697
    Humans are big, That means they have big guts!

    Rip and tear!
    >> OP forgot to keep writing OP in the name slot... 11/25/09(Wed)21:46 No.6869701

    You think about burning down the house. Easy way to not get pokes or beaten, but you don't have a torch - Giglib didn't give you one of his caged glass torches, and you forgot to take one. Is there another way to make fire?

    Sneaking seems like a good way to learn things. Hell, sneaking found your the hairless dogs, right? You learned about them, so you get to name them. That's how it works, right? You endeavor to keep sneaking, and observe the people. They talk about something, but you can't make out what. The young ones mostly just listen, and the old one is looking at something in his hands.

    You already got under the wall - it was full of holes. Who builds a tiny wall full of holes? Maybe it was a way to keep the hairless dogs in? Like a rat cage, but no top.

    You consider talking to them again, and making them a gift so they don't hit you. That always worked with clansleader. But what would you make?
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:50 No.6869756
    What are we carrying?
    >> DA BOSS !l0Ve65SXyU 11/25/09(Wed)21:51 No.6869763
    Look in the house. Is there any way in to it without being noticed?

    Are there any other things around besides the house of great importance?
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:51 No.6869769
    Give them squirrel pelt.

    Also these.
    >> OP forgot to keep writing OP in the name slot... 11/25/09(Wed)21:51 No.6869773

    You still have no fire. You could make a fire if you want to try this... but it's kinda wet and muddy out here.


    You decide you must talk to these people to find the bad people, but you are afraid. You hide your knife under your catskin coat, which is in turn under your ribbone armor. You adjust your little cathead hat, annoying the bat in the process, and try to look presentable. You remove your feetshoes, and pull on of the shiny grey rocks from your pouch. That's a good gift, right? You approach the door and knock, and hear a bit of shuffling inside. You begin to panic a little. Is this really a good idea? Maybe your should run... but they might help you.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)21:52 No.6869779
    Wait for humans to fall asleep and then investigate inside of the strange forest structure.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:53 No.6869790
    Stay the course.
    >> Brave Devil 11/25/09(Wed)21:53 No.6869797

    Try to look pathetic.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)21:54 No.6869803

    Maybe you shouldn't have knocked. Maybe you should have just watched? Could there have been a way to sneak in? Gah! Is it too late? The door cracks slightly, a sliver of light leaking out.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:55 No.6869818
    Maybe we should hide the bat somehow. I can't imagine that'll help endear us to the people in the house.
    >> Ted 11/25/09(Wed)21:55 No.6869823
         File1259204137.jpg-(8 KB, 277x216, gobbohead7.jpg)
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    rolled 99 = 99

    Hide somewhere!
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:55 No.6869824


    when tall ones sleep, pile stuff in front of door, and take mud and hay from hairless dog place and close smoke hole on top of cave thing.

    Sit and watch. Grin. Eat rat, and play with thing, it makes us a man.
    >> Atu 11/25/09(Wed)21:55 No.6869831
         File1259204151.png-(14 KB, 800x600, 23.png)
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    Then get pie.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:57 No.6869847
    We're a tiny tiny goblin thing with a knife, not Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:57 No.6869858
    Start stabbing with one hand, while playing with thing with other hand! We are man! We play with thing! We stab stab! Then pie!
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)21:57 No.6869860
         File1259204264.jpg-(109 KB, 358x500, scared goblin.jpg)
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    O PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!!!!!!!!!
    I have rocks for you, shiny ones, and a question.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)21:57 No.6869865
    So random.
    >> Ted 11/25/09(Wed)21:58 No.6869870
         File1259204309.jpg-(12 KB, 294x229, Gobbohead5.jpg)
    12 KB
    rolled 53 = 53

    >> Brave Devil 11/25/09(Wed)21:59 No.6869892
         File1259204376.jpg-(37 KB, 716x693, Internet HighFive.jpg)
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    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)22:00 No.6869907

    You continue to panic, and then realize it's too late. The door is open, and the old man is standing there. He looks scared - maybe it's because you look scared too. The bat flaps violently. Maybe you should have hidden it? Too late now. You thrust your present forward, the shiny gray rock gleaming in in the fire light.

    The man seems confused for a moment, before barking at the younger ones.

    "Children, get up and go to the bed room, right now."

    He speaks a weird version of what the clansleader spoke. His eyes seem fixed on the shiny rock, like it's something he wants.
    >> Brave Devil 11/25/09(Wed)22:02 No.6869933

    Hold the money up towards him. Look pathetic.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)22:02 No.6869935
    Say something along the lines: "Bruce Killfist brings you present! Please don't hurt!"

    Then try to negotiate to learn about the adventurers that has wronged you.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:02 No.6869937
    Offer him the rock and ask for shelter.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)22:03 No.6869947
    Thump the bat before it flys off with our hat, "Have...have you seen any tall gay men with pointy ears and bows, short stumpy people with big weapons, and average people with magic fingers pass by recently"
    Be strong now, remember this is for the memory of our clansmen, except Filbblesnot.
    >> DA BOSS !l0Ve65SXyU 11/25/09(Wed)22:04 No.6869955
    Greet him. Ask him if he knows where the bad men are.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)22:04 No.6869963
    *also "Do you know where they are, or are going, tell me if you want the shiny rock!"
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)22:05 No.6869974

    The man's hand is stayed for the moment. You notice he has something heavy, and it looks like he was going to beat on you. He seems incredibly confused. During the pause, you notice his is covered in white and brown clothes - cleaner and nicer than yours, but not as nice as the ones the murderers were wearing.

    "I have rocks for you, shiny ones, and a question."

    "What... what do you want? We have nothing for you to take, and I won't let you harm my family, you hear?"
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:05 No.6869979
         File1259204729.png-(74 KB, 180x180, Necrogoblicon_cover_lowres.png)
    74 KB
    You listen to some Goblin Metal and rock out, of course.

    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)22:05 No.6869982
    Also consider yelling "MY CLAN IS DEEEAAAD!".
    >> Brave Devil 11/25/09(Wed)22:06 No.6869988
    Do our best to channel Cutebold and ask "why did the big mean tall men kill my clan?"
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)22:10 No.6870050
    "Bruce Killfist brings you present! Please don't hurt! Have...have you seen any tall gay men with pointy ears and bows, short stumpy people with big weapons, and average people with magic fingers pass by recently. Do you know where they are, or are going, tell me if you want the shiny rock! Also can I sleep here?" you ramble off with nervous speed.

    The farmer seems frozen with shock for a moment, but seems no closer to bashing you. Finally, he speaks.

    "I... I think you mean the hired men the village contracted to take care of the raiders... well, you... near the mine... They may still be in the village, but you never know with their types. They move often... So can I have the coins... uh, the shiny rocks now? They would help my family quiet a bit. I'll let you stay in the shed for the night if for them."
    >> DA BOSS !l0Ve65SXyU 11/25/09(Wed)22:10 No.6870061
         File1259205053.jpg-(30 KB, 490x474, 1253848830740.jpg)
    30 KB
    Where are bad men who hurt my clan?
    >> Ted 11/25/09(Wed)22:11 No.6870074
    rolled 86 = 86

    Yes! Yes! Goodman give roof! Give shiny rocks over now!

    Seriously, we got the information we were looking for.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)22:13 No.6870102
    "Your not a bad man like those others who slaughtered my clan and left me to avenge their meaningless deaths, I will not burn down your home or eat your hairless dogs which I now call...hogs."
    >> Brave Devil 11/25/09(Wed)22:14 No.6870114


    I've got to go now. Don't fuck this up, you retards.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:16 No.6870138
    Pretty verbose for a fungus scavenger that lives in a dungeon.
    >> DA BOSS !l0Ve65SXyU 11/25/09(Wed)22:17 No.6870147
    Give him shiny rocks.

    Look for pointy things and hurty things in the shed.

    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:18 No.6870167
    We should train the bat to steal small shiny things.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)22:19 No.6870171

    "My clan is dead! Your not a bad man like those others who slaughtered my clan and left me to avenge their meaningless deaths, I will not burn down your home or eat your hairless dogs which I now call...hogs. You can have shiny rocks." you spout off. The bat on your head seems agitated by the light and noise.

    The man is still stiff and weary, but accepts the pouches, clutching and counting quickly it before returning his gaze to you.

    "Wait here a moment."

    He closes the door. You hear him saying something to the "children." They talk back, sounding confused and worried. The man returns to the door, stepping out and closing it behind him. He still has a heavy looking pot in his hand, but he isn't swinging it or anything.

    He leads you to a tall little shack near the... hogs. It's got a little wood door, which he opens for you.

    "You can stay here until morning. Then you should.. uh... you should go to the town to look for them. I'm going back inside now, if that's all then..."

    He backs away from you... looking worried. He leaves you standing at the shack, as he goes back inside. You seem him looking at you through the glass, still worried.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:21 No.6870195

    Gobo sleepings going to be hard alone.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)22:21 No.6870198
         File1259205704.png-(18 KB, 389x630, Bruce Killfist 1.png)
    18 KB
    I can't draw shit in paint but here you go anyways.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:22 No.6870205
    Bed down for the nuight. It's been an eventful day and we'll need all our gobliny cunning to track the adventurers.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:24 No.6870230
         File1259205858.png-(6 KB, 299x276, YEEEEES.png)
    6 KB
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)22:24 No.6870233

    You stand in the doorway of the shed, looking back at the man. He doesn't seem like he's going to sleep... just watching you.

    You feel lonely. It's the first time you've actually slept since the attack. Well, not counting your nap after your Fibblesnot stew... the bat keeps you company though. Does he have a name? Maybe he can do tricks? You feed him scraps of mushroom.

    The shed is filled with random things... some you recognize... a saw, a spear with three pointy bits, a small ax like the short man had, and some other stuff.

    You are kinda tired.
    >> DA BOSS !l0Ve65SXyU 11/25/09(Wed)22:24 No.6870235
    Look for pointy killy things!
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)22:25 No.6870243
    After a good nights sleep Bruce Killfist should make his way to town and wait for it to get dark over there before exploring it.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)22:26 No.6870256
    Bruce Killfist decides to name the bat Alfred.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:26 No.6870257
    Barry. Barry the Bat.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)22:27 No.6870266
         File1259206020.jpg-(19 KB, 480x663, tears of joy.jpg)
    19 KB
    Konrad...it's, it's beautiful
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)22:27 No.6870274
    Oh it is nothing...

    Just glad someone liked it.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:28 No.6870281
    I wonder if we can have a little fire in here to keep us warm like they have...
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:28 No.6870284
    Looking kind of awesome, bat.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)22:28 No.6870285
    I second Konrad in respect to his drawfag skills, and that we shall train Alfred to be our loyal immortal bat butler
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)22:30 No.6870299

    You decide to name him Alfred Barry the Bat. He gets two names just like you. He screeches. Does that mean he likes it? Yeah, you think he likes it.


    You see the saw, the three-spear, and the ax. Oh! There's a big sideways sword on a stick, and a sharp hook too! Maybe you could have one?


    You curl into the corner and sleep for the night. When you wake, the sky is bright and shining through the cracks of the shed. You peer out to see the man still sitting by the window, watching. He looks tired.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:31 No.6870310
    The farmer has plenty of pointy things, he won't mind if we borrow the three pointed spear thing for a while.
    >> DA BOSS !l0Ve65SXyU 11/25/09(Wed)22:31 No.6870326
    Spear-thing! This can pointy-killy the bad men!
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:33 No.6870342
    Keep still but watch the man. Wait for him to nod off and take the pointy fork.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)22:34 No.6870356
    Big sideways sword on a stick? Oooo a scythe, no, we should get a utility belt to store our things in, and the mighty fork of man slaying shall become a tool of righteous justice in our hands.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)22:34 No.6870359

    You hoist up the three-spear. It is much taller than you, but it you can carry it okay. Will the farmer man mind?

    You now have a rat, a mushroom, and a knife in your pack. You also have your cathead hat - that's Alfred Barry's house - your catskin coat, and your Fibblesnot armor.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)22:36 No.6870379
    Give the farmer a one fingered thanks salute, then run off to town or at least as far as we can get before collapsing of exhaustion.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:38 No.6870398
    It's bigger than us. We'd be better off waiting for the exhausted former to fall asleep then abscond with his fork.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)22:39 No.6870419
    Well what do you propose young Bruce Killfist and Alfred Barry do while we wait for the farmer to fall asleep?
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:40 No.6870425
    Check for anything else that could be of use in the shed. Rope or something like that.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)22:44 No.6870460

    After an hour or two or playing with your toes, you look up to see the man asleep, leaning against the window. The little girl is craning her neck to see you. The little boy seems stern.

    You decide now is the time, and take off running with the three-spear. They don't seem to follow you. As you round the house, you find a well worn trail that follows the badwall, and seems to lead towards the "village." You seem smoke in the distance.

    After an hour or so, you hear a clomping and squeaking noise. A shape is coming down the trail, towards you. You can't make out what it is yet.

    (OP here. Debate what you will do. I need to leave in a second, but I should be bake in 20 or so minutes to continue.)
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)22:44 No.6870462

    There is no time to waste! We must hunt down the evildoers before they make their escape.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)22:47 No.6870491
    Clomping and squeaking, BY ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!!!!!!
    We must hide up in a tree, tall people are scary, so the taller we are the scarier we are, if we get to the top of that tree we'll be one scary son of a bitch, and if we fall out we have the squeaking clomping thing to catch our fall, win/win.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:47 No.6870499
    This. We must climb a tree and wave our mighty fork intimidatingly.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:56 No.6870610

    What? Advertise ourselves? Not yet! Hasn't hunting rats taught you anything? Catch them unawares and it makes stabbing easier!

    Stay hidden at the treetop and wait for the horse and cart!
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:58 No.6870623
    We could hitchhike. Obviously, without telling the owner of the cart.No need to worry them.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)22:58 No.6870632
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)23:00 No.6870665

    Using your knife, you scurry up the nearest tree you can. You've had some practice at this point. You find a branch that hangs over the road, and climb atop it, waving your three-spear as meancingly as possible.

    The object comes into view - a cart drawn by a huge dog with a long face. All the caravan raiders told you stories about getting smashed by the huge dogs... there is small man driving the cart... smaller than he should be. He seems old, and is looking at a fold out... thing... while he drives. His cart is covered by a big sheet.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)23:02 No.6870702
    Drop onto the cart. Free transport beats walking. These homemade shoes can't be in very good shape.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)23:02 No.6870713

    Your scowl as hard as you can, but you seem to be hidden by the trees, so he isn't scared. also he's looking at the thing, so he seems not to notice you.

    You could be in the cart, but he's going away from the village. The bad people might be at the villiage. Has he seen the bad people? Hmm... Maybe you shouldn't go to the villiage. It probably isn't safe, but you want to justice. Your clan is dead.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)23:03 No.6870721
    Aye, mabye make new shoes out of cart covering
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)23:04 No.6870747
    We can't avenge our clan if we're dead.
    >> Ted 11/25/09(Wed)23:04 No.6870748
    rolled 55 = 55

    Perfect goblin.

    >Get map.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)23:06 No.6870767
         File1259208387.png-(25 KB, 504x546, Bruce Killfist 2.png)
    25 KB
    I made another one for you /tg/.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)23:08 No.6870801

    You want to know things, and that fold out thing might have things on it. Also, your feet hurt, and that cloth looks like it'd make better shoes that Fibblesnot.

    As the cast passes under you, you hop off the limb and onto the cloth. You make an awful clanging noise, and whatever was under the cloth was far from soft. The little man shrieks and tosses his map in the air. He seems shaken from his distraction, and grabs at the reigns while peering over his shoulder to inspect the racket.
    >> Ted 11/25/09(Wed)23:09 No.6870823
    rolled 96 = 96

    Smile at him.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)23:09 No.6870830
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)23:11 No.6870844
    Thrust the three spear at him while he's still confused, steal map, ride horse back to town!
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)23:11 No.6870859
    Yell "MY CLAN IS DEAD!" and then punch the living daylights out of him.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)23:13 No.6870883
    Smile, to distract him
    then hide
    then sneak attack
    then rage
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)23:16 No.6870913

    With your dynamic entry, you've become tangled in the cloth. You manage to get free, underneath it. You see what looks like a lot of hard metal clothes, like the short badman had.

    The cart stops, and seems silent. You hide for a moment. You hear nothing... the driver seems to be just as still, but he has to know you're there, right? You seem to have a second to debate. Be friendly, or stab at him?
    >> Ted 11/25/09(Wed)23:17 No.6870924
    rolled 70 = 70

    Put metal clothes on. Peek out of the sheets. Prepare to scream.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)23:17 No.6870925
    Be friendly. We're not exactly fearsome and without the advantage of surprise we could get hurt.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)23:18 No.6870942
    This is our moment, clearly this man is in league with the vile short one who culled our clan, our vengeance begins HERE!!!!!!!!
    Leap attack that mofo,
    use the pointy end, specifically the one with 3 points, probably better than one blunt point
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)23:20 No.6870961

    Let's be smart and not blindly attack.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)23:22 No.6870995
    It's probably his fault that "MY CLAN IS DEAD!" so kill him to death with pointy end of spear.

    Also someone mind archiving this thread so I know how it ends after I get sleep?
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)23:24 No.6871028

    You are wracked by indecision. The metal clothes are probably a lot stronger than Fibblesnot's bones. I mean, the badmen's weapons cut through those easy enough. You could be friendly. Maybe he's like the farmer?

    Consumed with thought, you fail to decide. You are startled as the sheet is ripped away from the cart. In your surprise, you lash out blindly with the three-spear. You hear a startled yelp, the sound metal clinking against something metal, and a thump of something heavy hitting the ground.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)23:26 No.6871047
    Investigate the thump, search for map, wonder how we didn't notice the squeaky clumpy thing stop.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)23:26 No.6871061


    (Don't know that we'll finish tonight, honestly. I'm flying on whatever you guys do. I may well start a continuation tomorrow after Turkey.)
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)23:26 No.6871062
    Anyone remembers that one-shot which had you replay the Seven Samurai as goblins forced to defend a human village ? :/
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)23:28 No.6871085
         File1259209686.jpg-(23 KB, 640x427, goblin peeking.jpg)
    23 KB
    peek over the side, carefully
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)23:30 No.6871130

    Also investigate the thump.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)23:31 No.6871134

    You peek over the edge. One the ground is the small man, a mixture of anger and confusion on his face. You can see where the three-spear pierced his shirt, but it looks like he has a metal shirt on underneath. Not like the ones in the cart - a flexible one, like waht the elf with the bow wore.

    He looks old, with white hair circling a bald spot. He has little glass circles over his eyes. He is shorter than the short man, and thinner too. He has no weapon out. Yet.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)23:33 No.6871168
    Apologize for rash action and try to negotiate a solution that will benefit both parts. Also tell the old man your tale of sorrow and woes.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)23:34 No.6871180
    Does he have a weapon near or on him? If so, assume a threatening position and quickly get your three spear in his face, this situation is bad, take control so it doesn't get worse!

    If he's unarmed in any way, keep your weapon at the ready but don't appear overly hostile. You can use this short man if you play your cards right.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)23:36 No.6871206
         File1259210170.jpg-(119 KB, 640x480, goblin hiding in the cart.jpg)
    119 KB
    Sounds good
    Hide inside the cart bottom, and tell him of the story of our clan, their death, our foray into the world of light and hogs, of the farmer, and finally of the glorious assault on the...what the hell did we just gloriously assault
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)23:38 No.6871248

    On the drivers bench, there are mostly papers and scrolls. There is a small, locked chest, but it is chained quite securely to the cart. You see a dagger with a shiny yellow handle in a sheath on the bench.

    You point your three-spear at the man, and he recoils slightly, gasping for words.

    "Just... just take it! You don't need to kill me, just take it!"
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)23:40 No.6871266
    run, just run, the bad men killed clan because they were "ray-ders" whatever that is, and this seems like an actions that would get you killed.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)23:40 No.6871268
    Very generous of him. It's probably nicer than our knife.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)23:41 No.6871282

    "I am Bruce Killfist, discoverer of hogs! My clan is dead and I will get justice on the badmen who killed them!" you shout.

    He seems utterly confused. A small puddle grows in the dust from between his legs.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)23:44 No.6871313
    Realise that this action might lure the clankillers out. Scare the old man away by yelling "MY CLAN IS DEAD!" a lot and throw metal shirts at him.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 11/25/09(Wed)23:44 No.6871321
    and a little easier to wield too considering the one we have is almost as big as us

    tell him "I spare a single survivor in every attack, so that tales shall be told of my clan, and its vengeance so that those who hear such a tale learns that inevitable death is coming for you...painful pointy poky death. Fear us."
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)23:48 No.6871378

    "I spare a single survivor in every attack, so that tales shall be told of my clan, and its vengeance so that those who hear such a tale learns that inevitable death is coming for you...painful pointy poky death. Fear us. MY CLAN IS DEAD!"

    You jump about excitedly, thrusting your three-spear at him. he scarmbles to his feet and begins to run. You reach into the cart and throw what looks like a metal head-cage with a blue horse tail at him. It clonks against his back, and he runs screaming into a field.

    You take the shinier dagger, and pick up the folded sheet. It has lines on it, and symbols you can't read.
    >> Anonymous 11/25/09(Wed)23:50 No.6871399
    Don't attempt to understand the symbols, they likely mean nothing. Start looking for metal body cages that fit you.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/25/09(Wed)23:52 No.6871421
    Take chest to old man and have him interpret map for Bruce Killfist in exchange.
    >> OP 11/25/09(Wed)23:58 No.6871492

    The tiny one man has run screaming into the fields. It would be hard to catch him, and the chest is chained to the cart, but you could try.

    You look through the cart and begin trying on bits of metal clothing. It looks like there is enough for one person, but it's mostly too big for you. Among the equipment is a belt with a metal loin cloth and some pouches, some big metal boots and gloves, pants and a fancy metal shirt. In the corner of the cart, there is large sword... it'd take both hands to use it. There's also a round metal shield... looks a long stronger than the wood one clansleader had.

    There is also the cloth, a coil of rope, and some carrots for the huge dog.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/09(Thu)00:02 No.6871543
    Wear the codpiece, take the rope, eat the carrots (share with the bat), make a cape out of the cloth.

    Swing from trees and be Batman.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/26/09(Thu)00:04 No.6871564
    Claim huge sword, eat carrots and try to break chest open.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/09(Thu)00:09 No.6871616

    You lift of the large sword... it is nearly as long as you. It seems sharp, and has fancy scratchings all along the cutting part. You'll have to leave your trusty three-spear here if you're taking this.

    You don the metal loincloth - your old one was muddy anyway. You toss the rope in your sack, along with what carrots you didn't each, and then fashion the cart cover into a a makeshift cloak. It hides your face pretty well.

    You then swing the big sword at the chest. The huge dog seems startled, but doesn't really go anywhere. It takes several good whacks before a wooden slat is knocked out. There is paper, and lots of shiny yellow rocks inside.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/26/09(Thu)00:14 No.6871669
    Collect shiny yellow rocks. Also poke big dog with blunt end of the spear to see if he does anything.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/09(Thu)00:18 No.6871716

    You squeeze your hand into the hole, collecting all the shiny bits in your bag. There are more of them that you have toes and fingers, so you've lost count.

    You poke the huge dog with the long face. It walks forward a few feet, dragging the cart with it. You nearly lose your balance, but recover.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/26/09(Thu)00:22 No.6871756
    Decide to name the big dog Robin. Poke him so more because it was kinda fun the first time.
    >> OP keeps forgetting to write OP in the name box 11/26/09(Thu)00:25 No.6871778

    You will call him "Robin," because that is how you got the big dog. You poke him some more, and he moves forward. After several pokes, he seems to get the point, snorts, and continues forward without furhter poking.

    You are now headed away from the village, back towards the farm.
    >> Konrad Von Chocula 11/26/09(Thu)00:31 No.6871855
    Head back with Robin and wagon to the farm. There give the farmer shiny yellow rocks in exchange for explaining map and the strange outside world to you.

    Have to get sleep now. Hope you enjoy that turkey OP.
    >> OP 11/26/09(Thu)00:59 No.6872170
    I'm off to bed as well.

    Thanks for playing along guys.

    Happy Thanksgiving.
    >> Anonymous 11/26/09(Thu)01:02 No.6872190
    this archived?

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