That should take care of itself. Set them up to be their own downfall, if they're gonna spit on the Emperor for shits and giggles in a 40k setting, be prepared to get the shit kicked out of them. Easy.

>>6885970
ARE YOU MY MUMMY?

>>6886094

No, little gas-mask child. I am afraid not.

>>6886067
You've clearly never had a THAT GUY.
He TPK's the whole party and doesn't afraid of anything.

If hes inexperienced there might be hope for him, but my own experiences of THAT GUY are that they think being a dick is roleplaying. I think the problem is that some players can be successful dicks; the rude elf or indifferent dwarf who is still CREDIT TO TEAM. It's good players who pull that off that encourage THAT GUY.

Sure is Krieger in here.

>>6886067
>be prepared to get the life killed out of them.

FTFY

I've only had minor dealings with a THAT GUY because he only ever deigned to show up three or four times.
I don't know if he was suicidal or what, but he tried to pick a fight with ANY AND ALL NPCs, even the Wizard whom they all knew was (to put it in a mechanical context) like ten levels above them.

The THAT GUY in my group played a half-orc hexblade and used to roll intimidate on the other PCs constantly. He was surprised later when he was knocked to -1 and we coup de gras'd him after the fight. He didn't understand why until we told him that everyone in the party, MECHANICALLY hated him. We'd gone from friendly or maybe neutral to hostile thanks to him intimidating us constantly. This wasn't part of our own vendetta-- he'd done this himself, as per the rules.

Felt good, man.

Now if he'd just leave the group. He's hanging around cheating, and his girlfriend aids and abets him. He hits all attacks when he rolls on the far side of the room where nobody can see it. He only misses when he rolls on the table.

He tried to roll essentially 3 20's in a row, per turn (as in, 20, confirm... next round, 20, confirm... next round, 20 confirm) on the other side of the table. He made every confirmation! On the 3rd one, he calls it out. "Fuck yeah, nat 20" and the GM just straight up said "I don't believe you. Roll on the table."
Any normal response? Maybe, "Come over here and look" or "Really, you don't trust me?" or something. This guy? "Oh darn, okay." And he rolled on the table and missed.

Fucking faggot why are you in my games fffff

I had THAT GUY in my last L5R group. The first words out his mouth were "Can I play a Gaijin?" I guided him to the Unicorn section and played up the Burning Sands connections. He then proceeds to roll up Moto Osama bin Ladin and tries to start a jihad. He calls the wrong Crane an infidel and gets challenged to a duel. He then just goes nuts and tries to kill the Crane on the spot complete with the muslim "ilalalalalala" noise. One initiative roll and hit roll later he is dead. He bitches for a bit and sulks while making a new character, Akodo Dickface. This seemed to settle him down and outside of being a bit rude to every NPC (causing Honor losses left and right).

Fast forward about 5 sessions...Akodo Dickface has earned the Disadvantage Bad Rep (Rude) and is denied entrance to a high class Tea House the party is visiting. This infuriates him and kills the Okasan. Natually shit goes crazy and he eventually ends up with the choice of sepukku or ronin-hood. He chooses to go ronin and flees. I told him he should make a new character and he throws a total bitch fit saying I was out to "get" him. I simply replied he was reaping what he had sown. The rest of the group agrees.

He continues to bitch and whine for a good 20 minutes while I try to get the game back in some semblance of order. At that point I had had all I could stand. I then had one of the local magistrates hire the rest of the PCs as a posse to hunt down THAT GUY. At first he thought it was awesome because he thought he could take any 2 of the other PCs. Then they set him up. Because they knew he was such a dick they just sent out feelers and some peasants sold his ass out. They busted into the house he commandeered and killed him before he awoke. He then starting crying foul saying they should take an honor hit for underhanded tactics. To which one of my players replied "Akodo himself said, 'On the battlefield all actions are honorable.'"

>>6886828
Inwardly I was laughing as I handed out honor and glory to the PCs that killed one of their own. He continued to bitch about it at which point the host of our game kindly asked him to leave. He then actually swung at the guy, which was especially funny considering one of the other players is a cop. Soon he was in cuffs having a time out with the cop. The cop got him to chill out and leave after apologizing to the host.

A week later I am in my FLGS relating this story and the guy working there said that was the second time he had heard of THAT GUY punching someone over a game. THAT GUY had done it at our FLGS during a M:tG tournament a few years back and was permabanned from the store.

We had a that girl. Pulled bullshit like applying the vampire template without adjusting her level. We were all like level 4 and this bitch claimed to have rolled 12s on all her HP gains, and claimed to have rolled 18s for all her stats. And she said she had a black dragon familiar.

Weeaboo, too. Vampire drow warlock who used a scythe and RODE HER FAMILIAR WHAT.

Establishing a standing NO KENDER rule goes a pretty long way in my group to dealing with THAT GUY

>>6885273

>>6886902
>>6886846

>>6886838
>>6886828

So shameful.

More stories.

I've never had too bad of a THAT GUY. The only thing close was a guy who was a year younger than me who I played with back in high school. He was a fat, awkward nerd who was a total horndog and always geeked us out with his weird sex shit. We eventually houseruled that he always had to play a virgin. And he was just generally really annoying, told pointless stories and thought he was hot shit when he wasn't.

Our THAT GUY is the GM's brother so I'm stuck with his shit for a while.

>>6887002
Oh and eventually we just stopped inviting him.

>>6886838
I seriously can't imagine acting so ridiculous. Why makes people like that?

I've tried DMing only once before and one of my friends was THAT GUY. The players took a contract from the mayor of town, and then he decides to kill a dwarven shopkeeper for shits and giggles, because "I'm chaotic neutral, durhur." He fails and runs outside. The rest of the PCs inexplicably stand up for their derranged companion, and all of them get shitkicked by the town guards and thrown in jail.
One PC with a particularly high charisma seduces a female guard, and barters a night with her for their escape. The guard turns out to be a crossdressing elf, much to the players chagrin. The elf, now a DMPC, runs away with them, at this point the plot doesn't exist anymore, I'm completely improvising, and I'm a little sour at having to throw the players such a contrived escape from their predicament.
THAT GUY decides rather than sneak away, he's going to town to run more people through.
I told him to GTFO, and the game ended.

>>6886828
> I had THAT GUY in my last L5R group. The first words out his mouth were "Can I play a Gaijin?" I guided him to the Unicorn section and played up the Burning Sands connections. He then proceeds to roll up Moto Osama bin Ladin and tries to start a jihad. He calls the wrong Crane an infidel and gets challenged to a duel. He then just goes nuts and tries to kill the Crane on the spot complete with the muslim "ilalalalalala" noise.
Pretty cool, IMO

> bitches... and sulks
Not cool

>>6886094
wait a mo. gas mask. image title Doctor Who. Fuck those little creeps were scary.

>>6886846
>this bitch claimed to have rolled 12s on all her HP gains
WARLOCKS DO NOT HAVE D12 HD.
LIKING WEEABOO GOTHIK SHIT IS FINE.
CHEATING IS NOT.
>and claimed to have rolled 18s for all her stats
FFFFFFF
YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD PALADINS GANG-RAPE HER.

Back when I was a lad in the early 90s I was running a Rifts game at a local gaming meet-up called GameFest. That Guy asks to join and use one of my pre-mades I had handy just for that sort of thing. He seems ok if a little off putting, he ended all of his sentences with this "eeeeeehhhh" sound. Session goes ok and That Guy asks if it is ok if he makes a new character for the next game and I am fine with that.

The next GameFest rolls around and That Guy shows up with a shiny new Rifts core book and his new character. Actually it was two characters, a pair fraternal twin Ley Line Walkers. His next comment is burned into my mind "Yeah they're brother and sister and they have sex, eeeeeehhhhhhh." I barely contain my disgust and ask to see the sheets. Once the sheets are in my hands I tear them half and throw him out of my game.

Epilogue

About 3 years later That Guy was caught molesting young boys. That was the last I heard of him.

>>6887151
Moral of the story:

Canadians rape young boys. Do not trust them.

>>6887151

I'm just imagining some fat, aging guy with a big ugly beard with pants up to his chest and a unibrow and ugh

To be honest as I imagined it more thoroughly I realized I was just imagining this big fucking guy who used to game at my FLGS who was like 400 pounds and all of those traits, including bringing two pizzas to each session and eating both by himself before the game. We'd occasionally hear him make really lewd sexual comments pretty loudly and then laugh by himself. The people in his game he played in would talk long after each session, and I knew they were talking about him.

>>6887102
Vampires do.

Man, when I started reading this thread, I thought there were two That Guys in my game I'm running now.

Now? I know better, and I'm equal parts thankful and fucking horrified.

>>6887151
Oh god. Why do hobbies like these attract the worst kinds of people?

>>6887241
Satan's game, etc.

>>6885970

The DH group I run has a Moritat who does not want to kill when prompted with the first combat (a group of kids) and feels the need tell the Inquisitorial cadre sent to get him for a mission briefing to fuck off, which prompted a rifle butt to the face and then insult the Inquisitor and give him a nickname.

I warned him that if he continues he's gonna end up dead real quick.Can't wait for next tuesday.

>>6887276
Give warning: Explosive collar (also give 'trigger' to other party members.)

If they don't use it, and he's still being a twit, have the Inquisitor activate it.

>>6887338

Good idea.

>>6887276
Dude, you using a Homebrew Inquisitor?

>>6887378

Yes sir. He's quite the badass, too.

I think I am THAT GUY since I know my DM and I can somehow get away with it. Like I always roll lesbian character and force him in akward situation where I force him to roleplay my multiple flirt. The other players look at me in disgust and we laught after the game's over. The down side is that more often than not since I'm the self-appointed leader (the others being unable to take a decision) I'll get insider when the DM want to do X events.So I'll do what I can so he can do it.

>>6885970
THAT GUY in our group has a girlfriend with a gas mask exactly like the one in the picture....

>>6887423
I bet fucking a girl in a gas mask would be very exciting in a post-apoc kind of way.

>>6887393
Sweet. My group is using Skane out of the book. It's quite entertaining.

We had a That Guy, in the form of a emoish dude. We were playing this Multidimensional Police Force type game, using BESM, and he HAD to be a female witch-homebrew-thing from an all female planet, and have all this special stuff. We recently stopped with that group, having lost him, and two other players (A sort of That Guy (primarily had to meet ALL new people in a place HE felt safe in cause he was paranoid) and a cool guy who didn't want to leave the 'noid, cause he was kinda cool sometimes.)

Frankly? I stop inviting him to gaming sessions.

>>6887276
I want to game with you...
Moritat is my current character. She kills children whenever she can (daemon-pact requires innocents' blood).

>>6885970
My first time attempting to DM had a That Guy. Creepo with some kind of furry wolf fetish who was denied the following things when he asked for them.

1) To be a werewolf in our 1st level party.
2) To be a sapient wolf that can talk.
3) To be a druid who got wild shape early.

Now, the talking wolf thing might have gone off better if not for the setting, where most people were fearful of magic and magical creatures. The problem with all this was that nomatter what we did, the guy would have to bring wolves up. His character (eventually a druid), his companion wolf, he would try and convince with Animal Empathy any wolf he could find to join us, anything he could possibly sum up. More than once I caught him drawing wolves and anthropomorphic wolf women while we were doing something because it didn't involve him, when really if he hadn't picked a character that fit in poorly with the setting as well as the rest of the group he'd have more time to shine. Well, eventually his pet gets killed off, and he actually starts crying over it.

Crying. Over a dog his druid we could only assume was banging for some reason. The other players decided to kick him out for me, turned out he was a giant furfag, wound up forming his little circle-jerk of guys who played anthros in TTGs and basically just used it as an excuse to play out sexual fantasies.

I was in a group once that was completely made of THAT GUY. Shamefully I admit in my younger days was a bit of retard, thankfully I have grown out of it.

I'll start with myself at the time, I was a Shameless Weeaboo who made whatever my favorite anime character at the time was for my character. A trait I find quite annoying now, mostly out of my own guilt.

The GM was a crazy Ex-Army MP. He believed in all sorts wild and crazy conspiracies. For instance, according to him we have bases on the moon and Mars and are fighting a war with the Russians over the remains of the Martian civilization.

Joe the Giant was a fucker that had to play either a giant Amazon Woman or Magus from Chrono-Trigger. He also was a complusive cheater and would force his shitty Mary Sue homebrew races into the game. Though he did give me my greatest compliment of my gaming career to date, "I hate it when Anon cheeses out with a human fighter."

Racist Redneck was the GM's roommate and was just as batshit insane. He liked to play a loop of the word nigger at high volume every midnight. He like to take slaves whenever he could in game. Also collected fantasy knives until he stabbed himself (lol) with one called "Aztec Death." He then sold me the knife which I still have somewhere.

And lastly the Furry. This guy was my first encounter with a furry. He was a fat fucker that shaved his face but not his neck. His characters included a big blue dog with prehensile forepaws. He also coined the term "fairy butt-beads." It is not what you think, they are not butt-beads for fairies, but butt-beads made from living fairies. He made them for Joe the Giant's giant amazon woman.

>>6887443

Word. Tiberius is quite the badass. His idea of stopping a rogue Inquisitor-Witch from fleeing the Emperor's justice in a car is to grab a ride from a Valkyrie and then promptly jump pack out the thing and shove his Daemonhammer into the engine block.

He got his ass kicked, though, by the witch. But, he'll appear in the final adventure of that story arc by poofing out of nowhere in Terminator armor (since the power armor he had with the jetpack is caput from the previous encounter.) with a cadre of GK Termis and snap her neck while she's too busy bio-lightning the fuck out of the party.

>>6887465

:D

>>6887498
>And lastly the Furry. This guy was my first encounter with a furry. He was a fat fucker that shaved his face but not his neck. His characters included a big blue dog with prehensile forepaws. He also coined the term "fairy butt-beads." It is not what you think, they are not butt-beads for fairies, but butt-beads made from living fairies. He made them for Joe the Giant's giant amazon woman.

you have told that story before.

>>6887502 But, he'll appear in the final adventure of that story arc by poofing out of nowhere in Terminator armor (since the power armor he had with the jetpack is caput from the previous encounter.) with a cadre of GK Termis and snap her neck while she's too busy bio-lightning the fuck out of the party.

Oh yeah, THAT sounds really fun. When will GM's learn that players hate that shit?

>>6887498
>I was in a group once that was completely made of THAT GUY
No anon, you are the guy.
And then anon was a Touhoufag.

>>6887516
I know. It is cathartic to bleed the wound every so often. Eventually it will stay drained.

>>6887489
Wow, even for furries that's sad.

>>6887498
> anal beads made of living fairies
WHY DID YOU REMIND ME OF THAT STORY OH GOD

BRAIN-BLEACH

Had one of those in our party recently playing a Rogue. Kept trying to sell our Elven Bard to Orcs saying "box as tight as humans". Tried to ride our shapeshifter. When he and another rogue were doing acrobatics to amuse/distract some pixies he didn't like that the other player was doing it as well and tried to kick him in the balls. Any time an item would be seen he would yell out as fast as he could that it was his and instantly write it on his sheet. If he were roleplaying it might have been overlooked but he wasn't. He is like this outside the game as well. This isn't even getting into the cheating. He would add his dex bonus to his throws even though on his sheet it was already added in. He had a Shuriken that would return to him and use it all the time but didn't have Weapon Proficiency in it. Never seemed to miss with it though. Brought his wife once but she was just there as a warm body I guess as she never said a word and when it was her time to act he would tell her what to do. In our game you can only have 1 magic item per level (everyone was level 1-4) and he had more than that. I have never seen him stay for a whole game yet always beg for full xp. There are more examples of his jackassery but I think you get the idea.

>>6887526

That isn't the finale, I didn't tell you the whole ending, but hey different strokes for different folks, I guess.

>>6887489
I've had one of these. We made the mistake of letting him get away with it, "You want to be a wolf, whatever it is a fantasy rpg knock yourself out." But he kept sexualising everything in ways that were inapropriate and made everyone uncomfortable. When the DM confronted him and told him to quit it he threw a massive hissy fit and claimed we were targeting him just because he was a furry.

tl;dr I FUCKING HATE FURRIES YOU GIVE THEM AN INCH THEY TAKE A FUCKING MILE

>>6887241
They're so weird they can't find anything else to do?

My group doesn't have THAT GUY, so w-Oh god.

I'm THAT GUY, aren't I?

>>6887564
Welcome to the club anonymous

THAT GUY in our group was also an alcoholic and a weapon collector, he did whatever the fuck he pleased because he would probably kill us if we didn't let him. We later told him we were disbanding because I had to start school again. We now just meet at someone elses house instead. We're pretty sure he doesn't know where we are, but he calls each of us every once in a while and asks if we are still playing "Naw, too busy nowadays, man" I say to him.

My new BBEG is a weapons wholesaler who subjugates his customers like a mobster. His name is THAT GUY.

Oh, fuck. Our THAT GUY. Oh, shit, where to begin?

First of all, That Guy has a slight mental handicap. I'm not the type to ask, but I'm led to believe it's autism. He's a nice guy, and the only thing I see is that he has a problem with math. No big. He's usually really keen on playing the game. However, crippling social awkwardness and his upbringing in a serious shut-in household led to quite a few problems.

There's the basic FEMALE DROW PALADIN, yeah, everyone does it at one point or another, but this guy brought it to a new level, asking to take stuff out of a Drow booklet he bought from amazon. He didn't listen when I told him that I wouldn't give him an adamantine blade at level one, because that's outright bullshit. You earn the money adventuring? Go ahead. I'm not giving you free shit. I'm not the type to PALADIN FALLS LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL, but this guy was constantly failing. I even gave him a lot of context clues.
"You know, poison is the tool of a coward." -Shopkeeper
"BUT THE DROW USE POISON."
"Look, if you use poison, you fall. It states that in PHB. You can buy it, but it's useless to you."

God, this is the surface. It goes so much deeper and I'm not in the mood to tell the tales. It peaked when he was actually blaming ME for his warlock was getting his ass kicked.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT." Shit eating grin, too.
"How is this my fault?" my reply, calm as can be expected.
"IT'S THE TANK'S JOB TO PROTECT THE CLOTHIES."
"Not following you, man. I'm playing a Paladin. I thought you were a Warlock?" Again, trying to use subtelty.
"NOPE. YOUR FAULT."
"No, it's not my fault because one, this isn't WoW, and two, it's my 'job' to be a stalwart guardian of my faith and upholding the greater good, not be your god damn babysitter."

I was disappoint. Especially since we were playing 4th edition.

>>6887548

You can't tell me that having a super-badass and his super-badass companions come in and save the day for the players won't piss them off at least a little bit. It de-protagonizes the players.

>>6887550
I know what you mean. This guy, I'm kind of glad I don't like near him anymore.

Took me dating a girl for three months before I found out she had the fetish but was quiet and non "OMGFURSECUTON" about it to stop having a universal hate for them. Sure it isn't my deal, but she was good about it, like how the rest of us tend to be about our creepy sexual things.

>>6887564

And then the poster was THAT GUY

>>6887590
>Especially since we were playing 4th edition.

No wonder he was so confused! Haha.

No, I jest.

>>6887599

But, again, that isn't the end, and the day isn't yet saved.

They got a high chance of fucking up and bad things happen after that.

>>6887599
>deprotagonize

>>6887587
inb4 arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

>>6887599
I do that intentionally to piss of the players. One of the greatest characters I ever made was a GMPC called Johnny Perfect. And he truly was. He may have been True Good but by from level 1 to 20 they were immediately hostile to him despite him always saving their ass with a smile. Tides turned finally when they reached epic and could take him on. 5 vs 2 (Johnny had a wife, and they were the "Perfect Couple") and Johnny ripped them to shreds even being at only the same level. Helps that his wife was an equal level mage though.

tldr- there's a place for pissing off your players, but do it intentionally, not as a deus ex machina.

>>6887702
I'm so stealing this idea.

>>6887623
I KNOW.

And the bad thing is is that this guy is really everything bad about 4th edition. Granted, his jackassery spans both editions. And even in 3.5 he was trying to do WoW shit, playing a dwarven paladin like a fucking jackass, going so far as to actually attack a player who was trying to tackle the BBEG down a 50 foot balcony for a GLORIOUS MANLY DEATH.

"You're what?"
"I'm...attacking him."
"If you attack him, you're falling. No questions asked. Why would you want to do that?"
At this point, THAT GUY becomes quiet and introverted, almost throwing a physical hissy fit and going into his room to play WoW (it didn't help that we were using his place to play.)


I was in disbelief. I shrugged the whole thing off, and we pretty much called it a night from there. No climactic battle with a gnoll sorceror who fires brimstone and shit set to power opera, no hell demons pouring through a gate. Just a pissy gloryhog dwarf. I asked him about it afterwards, and he only gave tired excuses and half assed apologies.

I feel too much for the guy, he really is a cool guy, he just has problems at the table. He does well enough with Dark Heresy, though, wildly enough. I think it's because I do the ROLL EVERYTHING rule, so he can't create a Mary Sue Spectacular and become too attached to his character. And when he dies, he knew it was coming.

Still, my reaction to the WoW comments.

>>6887502
You are the "that guy" of your group.

THAT GUY seriously misinterpreted a psion and thought they could unleash a blinding wave of psionic energy whenever he wanted. Which he did whenever he was below 10 hitpoints. We told him to stop doing it and he claimed he was roleplaying.
DM - "There is nothing in the Psionics manual that says you can do that"
THAT GUY - "Who reads anymore?!? Anyway it's MY character, i'll do what I want with him, fuck-nugget!"
DM - "... Your character has an embilism"

>>6887634

At least you got it.

To troll other players I actually named my character Leroy Jenkins... then when they were preparing to assault the BBEG (casting spell and discussing strategy) I bashed the door to the inner sanctum crying my character name in the room and effectively pk'd the whole group then the BBEG resurected me since he can't stop laughing at the scene. (The plot was that my job was to get the otehr PC killed all allong since I was the BBEG right hand)

>>6887714
yeah and he was a fighter type too, and he was dumb as balls, which really helped piss off the players cause he was so dumb they couldn't tell if Johnny actually understood they hated him. Johnny did, but it just didn't mean anything at all to him, which pissed them off even more. Their hatred was insignificant to this man's awesome ego. This was before Gurren Lagen, but even then I wouldn't say he was a Kamina- not enough Cha. Just more ego than brains and a killing arm to back it up.

Yeah, the "That Guy" in our group was a fatass who played a female lesbian chaotic good Drow.

So, pretty typical, actually.

how can you tell (if your worried about it )if you are being "That Guy"?

>>6887882
If you play a mary sue you are that guy since every rpg characters are mary sue by definition you are that guy no exception

>>6887905
So I am not that guy then?

>>6887882
Are you being a douche?
Are you knowingly acting like a douche?

If the answer is no to both of these, you're doing it RIGHT.

>>6887911
You are it's just that someone is more "That guy" than you so you don't have to worry about it.

>>6887911
Not necessarily...

>>6887926
At most I am small very paranoid/Schizophrenic dwarf but that's about it.
Aside from that its a double "No" Thanks.

I had THAT GUY in our WoD game last week.

Modern day setting, San Fransisco. He wakes up in the San Fran bay, bleeding from his head. He decides to try to get someone to stop and get him to a hospital. He's waterlogged, unshaven, and covered in blood. Whatever, this doesn't phase him. He gets pissed off when no one picks him up, so he just starts giving the middle finger to passing cars as he walks towards the hospital.

Upon arrival, he notices he doesn't have any money. Seeing the potential catastrophe, our Storyteller says "Well, they have to treat you, but after that, you're on your own."

This didn't stop THAT GUY from hatching his ultimate plan.

He goes around the back of the hospital, kills the janitor, takes his clothes, and storms in to some random doctor's private office, demanding treatment from an on-the-job injury. The doctor, seeing the nametag, ill-fitting clothes, and this strange man he's never seen on staff before, says "Yeah... Uh, yeah. The nurses are on their way. Just stay calm, stay in your seat, and they'll be here in a minute." and walks out of the room quickly.

After sitting idly for a few seconds, THAT GUY decides that he's trapped and that he needs to escape. Looking about, he sees an air vent above him. He attempts to climb up into the vent. Ah, he made it. Then, its time to be all sneaky and crawl through without making much noise. Ah, failed stealth roll. He thinks that he should get down, so he just thinks that he can make it if he just slides back down the same way he came up. He fails his check, falls on his back on the doctor's desk.

>>6887847
So tired of Chaotic Good Drow

We have a "that guy" that doesn't play much, but when he does, FFFFFFFF.

He started as a Githzerai Warlock, but ignored LA and had crazy stats. He didn't list a single item the character had on his sheet. He thought Warlocks had to prepare invocations like spells with a slot for essence, blast and other--we only noticed this the first time he said "I spend this round swapping out to Fell Flight".

When we informed him that he botched the rules completely (And he claimed this wasn't his first time playing 3.5), the guy EXPLODED WITH RAGE. When I met the DM he usually plays under, turns out he railroads without even realizing it. He gave like three obvious plot hooks and when I followed them, he just said "They ignore you" and moved the scene along. When we were forced into a combat with an iron golem and lost due to more misinterpretation and way overdoing the encounter, he blamed us for "going through the door that's guarded by the damn construct" when HE FORCED US IN THERE. THERE WERE NO OTHER DOORS.

But all in all outside of that, they're actually nice people and we're making an effort to help them along. The DM at least recognizes how he can improve now and is.

(Though in my other group, I may well be that guy. It's actually pretty much an entire party of those guys.)

>>6887950
>>6887950

I read that listening to Yakety Sax. I don't care if the player is a douche, that made my night.

I've only been DMing a very short while and I've already dealt with THAT GUY. I run mekton, and before i even run my first session, the first things out of this faggot's mouth are "I pretty much want to make kamille from zeta gundam". I immediatly told him fuck no, 1 because kamille was a whiny bitch constantly having to get brightslapped to obey orders and would have no place in the setting of my game, and 2 because I'm still digesting the MZ+ book.

So i make the munchkin roll his character the same way i made every one of my other players. He was super pissed at the backround he rolled, and even more pissed when he only ended up with a lowly 50 stat points (the lowest acceptable being 40, highest 100). At this point I can tell he's furious, but he continues making the character without any additional complaint.

>>6888030
cont'd

Fast forward a couple nights to my first session. Several hours before hand, i made a point of telling him that we were starting tonight, and to be sure not to forget your character sheet. So everyone's gathered and we're about to start, he walks in, and whaddya know "I forgot my sheet, can I roll a new one". I told him absolutely not, and that he could either re-write his old one, keeping in mind how few points he had to play with, or to GTFO. He picks the former, and in the first encounter of the session, the idiot charges straight into a group of 8 enemy meks with only his sword. he attacks one of the enemies, who sucessfully parries with his rifle. A couple turns later and its that enemy's turn. I turn to THAT GUY, and say "alright the enemy attacks you with his autocannon, roll your dodge and parry", and the first thing out of his mouth is "how? he can't do that if he's blocking my sword with his rifle.", to which i replied along the lines of, "listen faggot you have not the slightest clue of how this system works apart from the basic combat summary I've given you (i took some notes and wrote them into a packet of a couple pieces of paper for the players to use to help them learn the combat system quickly), so if you insist on making an ignorant ass out of yourself, you won't be playing in my campaign." I then proceeded to tell him that just because you're attacking with a sword does not mean the defender is unable to attack back using a weapon that it used to force your own attack away.

>>6888085
cont'd

He stormed off shortly thereafter, and for a number of reasons not involving THAT GUY, the rest of the night went to shit and i called the game off before we even finished the first encounter. I reorganized everyone once more a couple days later to start over, and both my players and I, minus that guy, who wasn't invited, had a great time. I've since ran 2 more sessions and will be continuing with a 4th session sometime this weekend.

>>6888030

I don't know what system you're using, but if he rolled 50 stat points, and if everyone else rolled around, say, 80-90 stat points or something, you should let him reroll. There's nothing worse than playing an underpowered character. I should know, a DM made me play a D&D 3.5 bard that had a 14 in charisma as his highest stat, then 12 or lower in everything else, while everyone else had 16-18 in their highest stat and 12-16 in their "useful" stats, and 10 or 8 in their "worst" stat. Made me want to quit the game because I feel useless. Lesson: If everyone else is significantly more powerful than a certain player, let the player reroll.

Also, in before BARD IS USELESS ANYWAY LOL. A bard with 14 charisma, 12 dex, 12 int, 11 con, 11 str, and 8 wis is truly useless. I had a plan for it, and we weren't munchkins, but the low stats made my plan not pan out so well.

>>6888085
I'd actually have the same question as the weeaboo, which would put me on his side, were it not for the fact that he wanted his character to be something from an anime.

I'd assume someone that parried with a rifle would probably have it braced in front of them to hold back his sword, except maybe in the event that the 50-point weeaboo was a mythically awful swordsman and the defending rifleman was an expert in the art of rifle-fu.

>>6888146

Yeah. Anime nonsense aside? The That Guy in the story? It ain't the guy who rolled a 50, that's for sure.

>>6888155
Ah, google'd Mekton. You're fighting with mechs. "Meks" should've given it away.

Yeah, in that case I side with you. A chest-mounted autocannon should be obvious.

This thread makes me feel better about my current tabletop gaming group. A WHOLE LOT better.

>>6888146
he did not have the lowest stats out of the players. 1 other only had 45, and another only 57. i made it very clear to all who were going to be playing that'd i'd be doing everything as by the books as possible until i mastered the system.

>>6888155
The action I described the enemy mek taking was not so much of a bracing the attack as it was a using the rifle to bat the attack away.

>>6888236
the weapon was handheld, not built in.

Holy fucking crap.
Dark Heresy here as well.
We got one guy, a really big DnD guy whose characters are perhaps the coolest thing about him. Well, whenever we play, instead of being the "imperial Army" man he is supposed to be, he decides he just always wants to blow shit up.
He tries to plan on using grenade launchers in a crowded city alley way, wants to use tear gas that will be shot amongst enemies and allies.
Finally, this guy tries to sneak by a meltabomb as a thrown grenade, which could more likely kill all of us!
WHAT THE FUCK!?

>>6888030
>>6888085
>>6888137
I dunno, I think you're both sort of at fault here.

>>6888296
A guy thrusts down at you with a sword, a weapon designed for cutting, in a large cutting arc.

How do you parry that with a gun without the gun taking structural damage, assuming this is a "lolscifi cut-through-mechs" sword, as cutting through mechs is what it's designed to do?

Furthermore, how do you "bat aside" an attack from a melee weapon with a held gun? You'd have to swing the gun after a hard parry to disengage, which is possible with a sword grip but highly unlikely with a rifle grip.

No John, you are the bads.

>>6888337
The mech could have batted the sword to the side with the front of the gun so the arc missed him and then unloaded with the rifle.

It seems that the problem was mainly that the DM wasn't familiar with the system enough to back up his decision with some hard rules, and that the player doesn't understand that what the DM says happens; happens.

I had a THAT GUY in my first group. He was also the kind of guy who tried to one-up everyone.
My brother made a human rogue. Wielded a rapier with a dagger in his offhand.
THAT GUY made a celestial rogue that had cat-like powers (claws, faster moving speeds, a metric fuckton of bonuses to stealth, jump, tumble, etc.).
First boss was a priestess of some tribal god.
My brother leaps in and gets a sneak attack. 11 damage. Not bad for level 1.
THAT GUY does the same thing. 34 damage, bare-handed. Priestess only had 30.
The DM had a hard-on for the guy for 1 week, and THAT GUY took advantage of her. He never changed.

>>6888337
What if his gun had a bayonet? Then the motion of his parry could also bring his barrel in line with his target, or near enough that he just needed time to aim.

However I could see hilarity in an NPC trying to parry with a wooden stock, having the PC's blade embed itself in it, and see the gun yanked away from the hapless NPC as the player pulls the sword back. Disarmed!

>>6888337
the gun did indeed take damage. in fact if the rifle had been used to parry another attack of any strength it would've broke. I can see where you're coming from, but like i said to my players, i'm trying to stick to the rules as closely as possible until i know the system well enough to be able to make decisions like that, but until then, I've seen nothing in the corebook or the first half of the expansion book that says if you improvise a weapon or other object to parry that you cannot use it to attack the next turn.

>>6888388
Guy comes at me swinging a sword, I'm probably going to want to block it with as much surface area as possible. It's highly possible and relatively easy to block a sword with a rifle when the top of said gun is held against your chest.

Trying to deflect a sword with the front of the gun in such a manner that you can fire on the wielder next turn AND completely take all the force out of his attack so he wouldn't just tackle into you anyway requires some super fucking awesome levels in Gunkata.

Our THAT FUY in DH was a minmaxing and powergaming cunt who whined constantly about having nothing to do when we tried to do things out of combat and then generally wandered away (literally) by the time we actually got in to the thick of things. The GM ragequit two or three times because of his actions, unable to put up with the bitching. Especially after I almost killed him by picking up and rethrowing a grenade that would have killed the rest of the part. Tried to kill everyone when he came back from fapping or whatever it was he went off to do.
He also sold off all of his stuff but basically the clothes on his back (not to mention fudged his starting cash to more than one hundred above the most available to any class) and bought the best weaponry and armor he could.
He "rolled high" for all of his stats, and yet I don't think he's ever let anyone see his charsheet.
His character was also essentially himself.
Oh, and did I mention that he was a Scribe with better combat skills than our Feral Assassin and our Guardsmen?
Yeah, I just *love* THAT GUY.

>>6888460

Clearly you've never fenced. It takes surprisingly little force and motion to parry an incoming blade as opposed to blocking it outright.

>>6888440
Ech. That's more of a difference in philosophy for me than anything, I suppose.

See, I always let the Rule of Cool (read: not the Rule of Stupid Overpowering) and common sense come before written game rules. If someone wanted to, as described in a thread earlier this week, make a railgun out of peasants holding their actions in 3.5 DnD, I'd say common sense would override that, even if the rules don't state it's impossible.

Just me, I guess.

>>6888460
I'm assuming THAT GUY wasn't trying a bullrush but just swinging with the sword, in which cash he wouldn't barrel into him because that wasn't the action he was taking.

And while I'm certain it would've been easier to just hold the gun up to block the sword, that would be a block, not a parry. A parry suggests he knocked the blow aside to allow for a counterattack.

>>6888500
With the tip of a gun when the guy is doing a berserker death charge?

It's not a weeny rapier like you have in fencing, it's a big futuristic kill-'em smash-'em mech sword, nor is it a tactical thrust, nor does the other mech pilot probably have a lot of practice parrying swords with guns.

Your fencing metaphor is fucked three ways, compadre.

>make a railgun out of peasants holding their actions in 3.5 DnD

Wat?

>>6886851

nonDNDfag here;
what is a Kender and what makes them so hated as PCs?

>>6888527
DM Fiat: Meteors pass through space, hit everyone, and everyone dies.

>>6888527
Actually his fencing metaphor is pretty much spot on. The transference of force is far easier then directly opposing it. Even without specific training in parrying a sword with a gun the chances of him just lucking out and doing the right thing is high enough for it to potentially have happened.

>>6888515
>in the first encounter of the session, the idiot charges straight into a group of 8 enemy meks with only his sword. he attacks one of the enemies

He said in the post that the guy was charging, not just standing and swinging.

Also, assuming the guy did deflect it, I doubt he'd be able to ready his gun in time to fire on the next round, assuming he wasn't doing something retardedly hard like parrying with the tip. He'd have to change his grip on the gun from one effective at shooting to one effective at pushing the blade away if he was going for a parry - to me, that sounds like grounds for him having to get his other hand back on the gun properly, get it pointed properly, and taking some time before he can fire properly.

Maybe if there's a system for it in Mekton he could make an unprepared attack or something, but meh. That's all I'd give him.

>>6888553
It's a free action to pass an object to someone standing next to you if you've readied an action to do so. So get a mile-long line of peasants and have them pass a rock down. It accelerates a mile instantly. Have the last one let go of the rock, and it'll tear through whatever's past them.

This is the same kind of rule interpretation that lets drowning resurrect you if you're at negative hit points because drowning sets your hit points to 0.

>>6888561
they are a playable race whose backstory is basically "be a prick to everyone, steal everything, betray your friends whenever you get bored, and its just your lovable small person racial way"

>>6888561

Kender are kleptomaniacal fearless perma-tweens. Done well, they're great comedic relief. They can also be the most obnoxious PCs known to man, even when played well. See also: pixies.

>>6888611
As soon as you see a CN Kender Rogue, you'll know what this man is talking about. You will know and you will know the true meaning of trolling. Tear up the sheet. Kick out the player.

>>6888579
I accept that he could've parried with the gun, or fired, but parrying with the gun and firing is a bit of a stretch, even if physics say he could've deflected the blow just fine.

Like I said, the grip would just be wrong.

>>6888592
He just said he attacks with his autocannon, which in point blank range I'm guessing wouldn't need to be aimed too well to hit.

Admittedly I've never played the game nor am I aware of its rules or how it handles combat, it just seems reasonable to say he knocked the sword to the side and then unloaded on him from the hip.

Hey, look everyone!

Beardfag is THAT GUY!

3.5 game, PCs are being led through a town under seige by an NPC, this badass dude had a pretty huge greatsword, all covered in engravings and shit.

That item became an object of desire for THAT GUY, who spent the rest of the session trying to bargain for it with me, or making "Take the sword attempts" by rolling fistfulls of dice across the table. He then resorted to actually begging. Not in-character. Litterally begging over a shitty +1 Greatsword.

That was the last session including THAT guy. Who was a Drow Ranger just FYI.

>>6888662
Ah yeah, point blank. Derp. The mech with the gun could probably hold the rifle with a pistol grip and still do decent damage, assuming he didn't care about silly things like recoil.

You win this time, rationality.

>>6888686
It was well played good sir, and I see where you're coming from about it.

I don't see that one as being a huge THAT GUY moment though, more just inexperience leading to people getting angry at each other.

Lets see.

Had a guy that insisted on witnessing every roll, while always trying to conceal his. Played his character loud and obnoxious, and while demanding receiving as much xp and gold/loot as everyone else, participated the least in fights and hardly ever RPed. When he did fight, he would constantly cry for people to help him when he was doing poorly, while never cooperating himself to help out anyone else.

It could have been an interesting kind of character had he been funny or charismatic ingame, but he was neither. He wold try these lame monologues once in a while, but would always stop halfway in and complain that it we were a waste of his time before continuing. He was just as abrasive in real life and had the same cheap-douche attitude(never contributing for food but always wanting some). We kicked him out and never looked back.

We have two THAT GUYs in my 4e group. One halfling rogue, one changeling rogue. The halfling tends to just do stupid stuff, but is redeeming herself. The changeling on the other hand...

Last game, he dropped a house on my character (taking him from full health to 4 HP), and then after the battle, blew up an entire city of 90,000+ people, including every plot important NPC (or NPC we liked) after we'd just FOUGHT THE FUCKING TARRASQUE TO SAVE IT.

That, incidently, was where the halfling redeemed herself. She hit the tarrasque hard enough to knock it out (Knockout Blow), and then spinkicked it into a vortex to the Astral Sea.

Fucking changeling'd be dead too, if he hadn't outrolled me on initiative. He was on 5 HP, I was near full. And I know I can hit his AC.

>>6889190
Why the FUCK did he blow up the town?

I've seen the THAT GUY spawning grounds with my own eyes. It wasn't tabletop, but fuck that.

It was a roleplay server on Neverwinter Nights. Not gonna tell you the name, just gonna let you all in on where THOSE GUYS come from.

Basically, the server DM's severely disliked power builds, to the extent that when they saw one min-maxed battlecleric soloing a dungeon once too often, they spawned a fuck-off strong creature in his face.

Not a bad policy, to be honest.

Only everything outside of the starting town could rape you. You'd start out as a level 3 anything, and get murdered to death by two sewer rats.

TL;DR = "Hurr de hurr don't powerbuild and oh yeah, if you set foot outside of the starting village, butterflies will kill you and rape your corpse."

>>6889214
Basically: Big portal to Bad Places in town. Fuelled by magical energy. THAT GUY fires a beam of pure magical energy (basically a laser) at it, despite rolling Arcana and knowing it's a bad idea. Portal starts getting larger, and he can't turn the beam off (the beam runs on Healing Surges, and he's pouring one in a round).

The rest of the party panics, tries to shut it off, no dice. The only option we had (in the 10 seconds or so we had to think) was to cut the beam. We did, it exploded, everyone in the town took around 200 damage (half on a save).

We had so many ways to shut the portal down. Half the party can get Arcana checks in the 40's, and I can get mine to 50+. Two of us have every portal related Ritual known to man. But since we were taking too long re-attaching the hand of an NPC (which he also blew off), he decided to shoot it instead.

>>6888440
It's best to stick to the rules for consistency even though it's impossible for a simplistic ruleset to model reality. It helps if you can make the flavor realistic, though. You can keep your rulings more consistent if you remember to picture how the participants are actually performing their actions.

Bringing the butt of the gun forward for the parry either by bringing it across or pushing the blade away with the side of the weapon causes a realistic expectation that the gunner would require at least as much time as the swordsman to recover and bring the bore back to bear.

On the other hand, parrying with the barrel and sustaining any sort of structural damage there would create the expectation of a ruined weapon even if the game system allows for it to continue working. A gun with a dent or bend in its barrel essentially becomes a fancy pipe bomb.

tl;dr: Player wasn't familiar with the rules and made presumptions, but you handled it poorly.

>>6888618

I've used a Kender vs. THAT GUY...

THAT GUY was playing a half-human half-dragon overpowered thing the DM invented. I'm not sure of the alignment, but he played all his characters as chaotic evil, even his kender and paladin. He hated my character with a passion, and the last straw was when he threw my character at a monster.

The paladin called him on his shit, and attacked along with me and another player whose fighter was the paladin's best friend. After the battle, only the fighter survived. THAT GUY starts to ragequit. The DM offers a 'rewind' as if the fight never happens. THAT GUY starts his shit again, and ragequits again and leaves.

The following week I was absent, but THAT GUY used another character, and was led into some kind of insane trap the thief set up, killing him instantly. Another ragequit, and this time he never came back.

Much like someone else posted, stories like this make me feel better about my group.

The closest I have now is a player who is confrontational by nature and gets in peoples faces about why his bad plans won't work and who tends to fudge his rolls when he doesn't have someone sitting near him to watch them. But despite playing a creepy fucker, he is doing it well and for the enjoyment of the character type and has made steps towards character redemption and willingly accepted derangement flaws for some of the fucked up shit his character got up to.

Prior to that, when we still gamed with the fucked up, ubernerd types that exposed us to the hobby, we had a guy that - in a waterworld esque - post-apocalyptic campaign, wanted to play a psychic brain mutant that could mind control humans into having sex with him. He also larped.

I think everyone I play with these days is a That Guy, just more the awesomeface type and less the fag up the session and get everyone annoyed type.

That said, over the years I've had the pleasures of three f-tards.

The first. The first I shall call Luke, for that was his name. He was housemates with my friends in first and second year at Uni, and I had the misfortune of living with him in third. He was prettymuch stereotypical worst-case That-Guy neckbeard. To call him repellent would have been doing an injustice; he had an odour that preceded him by several minutes. His teeth were, quite literally, green. In the year I lived with him, he never showered once, never washed, never cleaned up after himself, never did dishes, never shaved, nothing. You could see people edge away from him as he entered rooms. You could actually see the moment the smell violated their scent receptors, as their face would suddenly freeze in horror.

He moved out of our house the day before the contract expired - we'd never seen the inside of his room until this point I'll add; none of us could brave the odour. We insisted he kept his door shut. As we were finishing moving out, I heard a scream from one of the girls who was moving in, and went (all chivalrous like) to investigate.

>>6889652
I wasn't quite prepared for what was in that room.

The smell, even after my other housemate had opened the window in there the day before, was appalling. You could see ... 'stuff' ... hanging in the air from the light that filtered in through windows caked with handprints. There was still filth everywhere in there - the carpet must have been inch thick with shed hair, bits of food, discarded wank rags, and discared wrappers. It was disgusting. Weirdly, there were wood shavings under the window, where he appeared to have been gnawing on the windowsill...

What had made the girl scream though was she had gone to flip the mattress, presumably in the hopes that the remains of Luke would thus be as far from her body as possible.

It looked like Luke had done that first, to conceal ... well. There was a stain. A huge. Rancid. Black. Stain. About crotch height, and about three foot around. I don't know what the fuck he did; if he shit himself or what; but it was ... it was terrifying.

Did this one on a 2-night camping trip. First night, huge group, about 16 players. 7 are my regulars, the rest are mostly newish and/or crappy players. Towards the end of night 1, the thief takes some damage and asks the cleric for a heal. (Main) THAT GUY is the female cleric who worships a goddess of sex and coined the term "priestitute." He decides to ATTACK the thief instead, who promptly hauls ass out of the dungeon. THAT GUY realizes that this particular thief happens to be carrying all the party's money/loot in his bag of holding, and starts chasing after him with most of the group following. I decided to end the session there.

Day 2, all day I gave hints about the upcoming epic chase and spoke in private to the thief player about his plans. That night, I let the 'pursuit' group go first, led by THAT GUY and which consisted of all the new/crappy players who thought this was a good idea. I let them track and do whatever they wanted for 5-10 minutes while following false trails and dead ends. "You guys continue to search the wilderness all night but no sign of the thief or the loot is found. No experience awarded."

I turned to the thief player and said "You make your way out of the dungeon, making several false trails and double back shortly thereafter and rejoin the party."

My regular players (who refused to listen to the idiot cleric anyway) and I had a great night, while THAT GUY and his cohorts looked on with amazement and incredulity.

>>6889709
>>6889652
cool story bro

>>6889749

I have a feeling there's more

DM: So you're walking through the enchanted forest of-
That Guy: I shoot an arrow.
DM: Where, Why?!
TG: um... I set it on fire too, with my magic.
PC: You're gonna shoot a fire arrow while you're in an enchanted forest?
TG: No, sorta, I'm gonna shoot the oldest looking tree with my fire arrow.
ALL: ...
DM: Really?
PC: Have you ever see Lord of The Rings?
TG: I shoot the fire arrow.
Trent and Dryad attack.

>>6889709
The only time I ever saw Luke clean was when his evidently long-suffering parents picked him up for weekends. He'd always return looking slightly thinner and paler, red-raw and clean shaven. My guess is they put him out back and blasted him with a pressure hose. The parents were really nice - how they spawned him I have no idea.

They were also really, really rich; meaning this kid was spoiled as high fuck, and loved to use it to one up people. I remember saving up most of my money to buy a new computer - at the time it was top of the line, and I was proud as fucking hell of it. It took a massive chunk of my money, but god it was glorious. I felt like the king of the fucking internet at the time. People coming round just to bask in the glory of it, it was fantastic.

Three days later, Luke turns up, and looks all interested in it. The next fucking day, his parents have bought him almost the exact same computer, just with a bigger monitor and better surround; and at his insistence all of those tacky little mods that just make you go 'faggot'. Gold plated, premium brand, cables; more LEDs than you can handle, that kinda shit.

I'll point out at the time his computer hadn't been that much worse than mine - he just couldn't stand not having the best one.

This repeated itself later when I got a laptop; I blew all my money on one that was the best I could afford - his parents bought him an alienware one. FFFf-

>>6889831
I'm now having horrible flashbacks of his keyboards and mice. And of the time I went to play something on media player on his computer and saw his file history...

The kid musta gotten OFF on being that dirty.

And the best bit? The VERY best bit? He was studying to become a doctor.

He was also a consummate liar. He just seemed to be unable to tell the truth, even to the simplest things. He would come out with ... stories. Some of Luke's stories were legendary; but the one that still sticks with me is "The Time He Won 30,000 Pounds At A Counterstrike Tournament, But Had To Give It Back Because They Found Out He'd Been Wallhacking".

But I digress - this should be about how he's /tg/ related.

Well, he played Magic the Gathering for a start. And his decks were almost invariably terrible. He had a hardon for Samurai during Kamigawa, but played them incredibly defensively; he'd dump thirty creatures and then sit there. He had a hardon for Qumulox during Mirrodin - he'd literally throw one in every deck running. He'd make up the rules for cards, and have to query every card by grabbing it off the table (leaving horrible, horrible marks on a card - we actually have one somewhere that has his finger prints marked into the paper from some substance on his hands at the time)... and then he'd forget what stuff did within thirty seconds and have to do it again.

>>6889887

He would consistently try and do things that were mind numbingly obviously wrong - I CAST TERROR ON THE PIT TRAP was the big one that sticks with me. Mostly because he tried it about eight times.

It was like everything you told him was a square peg for a round hole - somehow information just didn't relay itself from the real world into his head.

... we did manage to take advantage of his annoying habit of picking up cards during one game with unhinged; where we had that card that does you damage when you touch it. The guy playing the deck pulled out some big rubber gloves and played it. Luke immediately reaches over, grabs it and reads it. Puts it down on his side of the table. Picks it up to look at it again, then puts it down again. Realises it's on the wrong side of the table and slides it back. Next round, he picks it up again just to check.

His redeeming feature was it meant that you never came last in a multiplayer game.

He also played D&D. He even DM'd once.

Bumping to put an actual /tg/ thread on the front page of /tg/

>>6889933

agreed, this is a good story

>>6889903
He was a huge weeaboo. Every character had flowing hair, and katanas, and I'm sure he tried at least once to have one with wings. (And the one that had 'Skin Colour: Normal' listed on the sheet, something that made the entire table crack up when it came to light.)

He would make up his stats and modifiers - his character sheet itself would bear no resemblance to anything even remotely like the rules; and all of the various numbers listed would be completely unrelated to each other. He would literally roll a dice, and then say another random number anytime he was called to do anything. It got to the point where one DM sat him down, and walked him through the entirety of character creation again based on the classes he had listed, and ended up having to prettymuch adjust everything about him - he was about eight levels higher than us, had two stats that implied he'd rolled a nineteen, extra feats, all kinds of crap.

He still just made up numbers when he felt like it.

It was this occasion where we saw the inside of his character folio though. He had this little black book that he used for character sheets, and he's sit during sessions leant back with a pencil, with the book folded up like he was fairly obviously writing things surreptitiously, but we'd just ignored it as being him being fucking weird.

Turns out he'd been drawing. Very bad porn. Of Dizzy from Guilty Gear. And wolves. And, well, prettymuch everything you see on the ass end of deviantart. And there were pages that were stuck together; or smeared from him obviously having stroked them ...

Shit makes me cringe just thinking about it.

>blew up an entire city of 90,000+ people

I did this once. I was playing an Elemental Archon, my chosen element was fire, so I had 3 fire elementals as underlings. A town we came to was being bombarded by cannons from an airship. First, the wizard turned one of my fire mephits invisible, then we sent it into the airship and told it to find a barrel of black powder. Once it had accomplished this, it was to stick it's burning fist into the barrel. If it had been a normal airship it wouldn't have been so bad, but no, this airship was carrying an entire army's supply of gunpowder.

>>6889979
I'll add that at the time we were playing in games where there were regularly six or seven players; so he was fairly marginalised, and most of why we put up with him. That and people lived with him, so you could never quite escape him following.

He played a rogue once, after having seen someone else - possibly me this time - do it (he had a thing for copying other people's characters, prettymuch verbatim, and then just describing them weeaboo, and sulking when they did stuff he did better than them).

You know the apocryphal story about the player who goes up to the LG Captain of the Guard and says 'Oh and by the way, I'm chaotic evil, so if you ever need anyone assassinated, just ask me *WINK*'? ... Yeah. .... Yeah. He then proceeds to get pissy and storm off when the guard turns round and arrests him.

He also played a Blackguard in an evil game, where we were basically resurrected villains of the gameworld's past, called together to do great dastardly works and whatnot. He decided, without checkign with the DM, he was the High Priest of the evil god that the people ressing us worked for. He then gave this huge long back story about how he'd assaulted a great banquet of paladins with his army, but been defeated, and then resurrected, and that's why he was here.

It took us a minute to think this through - this great and powerful high priest who in the backstory was slaying heroes left right and center, pissing on altars and sleeping with beautiful women, whose name was apparently legendary... had knowingly attacked a gathering of paladins having lunch.. and lost. (This eventually evolved into the tale of how Luke Attacked The Sunday School Trip To Pizza Hut With A Cabbage And Lost.) That's before you even get to the disconnect with how he "roleplayed" it, and how he described it.

>>6889887
>I went to play something on media player on his computer and saw his file history...
>The kid musta gotten OFF on being that dirty.
I'm going to hate myself, but...expand on this.

In so many of these stories the party or the GM seems to allow "THAT GUY" to be an utter tard, usually resulting in a TPK.

Is there some unwritten rule that means you aren't allowed to slap him in the head and tell him to either stop being a twat or fuck off?

>>6890035
Sadly I was never around for him DMing his own game - and I've only heard some of the stories of how bad it was; mostly involving how he was a railroading asshole, with no idea of how the rules worked. And how he turned one of the PCs into a scalie with a tail that got longer by a foot a day, and increased the PCs stats by +2 every foot it grew. ... He also had a DMPC paladin that kept turning up and winking, making the bad guys explode; or completely disabling the players so he could go off on a huge fanwank exposition of how something really awesomely supercool was happening - with the obvious caveat that this was Luke, and his ability to describe ubersupercool was limited to IT NEEDS MORE KATANAS AND WINGS AND SPARKLES.

>>6890064

how do you tolerate that kind of bullshit

I mean I've known people like this too but I don't even know how I put up with them

>>6890058

At first people think "oh, they'll wise up" but they usually don't. Including THAT GUY after one session usually means they're a roommate/spouse/s.o. or someone who can't be evaded easily.

In high school we actually had to tell a few people "don't come back, you suck" but we had to see them in school every day regardless.

>>6888632
If the player had enough time on his turn to run up to and swing at the enemy, I'd say it's only fair that the enemy can realign his gun to roughly point at him and fire on his.

>>6890037
It ... it says enough for itself really. Lets just say a lot of the filenames were anagrams of 'cats', and that his chair had these mysterious white stains in a small triangle near the front of the seat that he claimed were from him dropping yoghurt.

Anyway, I have to head out for a bit - so I can't regale you with much more of the tales of Luke and his terrible.

Beyond that though, I just have to deal with the Homebrewer-Who-Can-Only-Roleplay-Himself (aka Chaotic Stubbornly-Stupid); The Railroading Pedophile Rules Lawyer (who doesn't know the rules, has hygeine and self-care almost as bad as luke, and is just generally another asshole); and the short period where The Guy Who Wants To Play The Little (cat)Girl And Seduce The PCs joined a game I was running.

The upside is I also get to play with someone who regularly plays Lawful Good right - or Alzheimer's Dwarf when he's trolling the two bad DMs - someone who plays Chaotic Angry right and has a fairly enjoyable if mary-sue-dmpc-heavy homebrew system (he gets away with it because we don't take it seriously, and he seems to actually enjoy that), and a guy who loves playing minmaxed fighter types as embittered heroes.

>>6890090
I guess I'm just a mean bastard, if they are being a twat they can either stop, or find something else to do in another room.

>>6890135
Righto, as bad as I thought.

We're got THAT GUY.

DH Game, he's bought a bolt pistol (and keeping it unloaded so to meta against the Tech Scorn miscast) and the sole purpose of the Bolt Pistol is for executing party members he feels aren't doing their job.

He's the kind of player that'll pick something with a very rigid code (Sororitas, Shaktar, etc.) and just twists the code to suit his own ends at any given time.

This thread reminds me of why I am content to stick to 40k. The dice are rolled on the table. There are usually enough people around watching that any bullshit will be called out. And best of all?

No drow.

:) :) :) :) :) :) :)

My last gaming group had 2 of THAT GUY, almost 3. First was the wife of the guy whose house we played at. Attention whore whenever her husband was GM and incompetent when anyone else was. Improved a little, but overall a bad player and horrible GM.

Second was a guy who played the same character over and over, but he got a lot better and straightened out pretty quickly.

Third was a friend of the second guy, because we were told he was an experienced roleplayer. Boring, had no idea what he was doing, and couldn't play for shit. Didn't read the books and just followed along what everyone else was doing. Tried to min/max, failed horribly.

>>6890275

Most groups require dice rolled in full view of everyone. If you don't, you're asking for trouble.

There's a lot of good games and systems out there, AND you don't have to fucking paint miniatures. Give one a try sometime.

>>6890294

This thread is full of That Guys who fudge rolls.

Also I like Gluan and Paintan. It lets my inner artfag get off so I don't have to have a Deviantart.

>>6890302
But where do you post your pictures of puffy reverse-gender Star Trek furry vores?

>>6890336
/b/, like everyone else.

>>6890336
fapfapfapfapfap

>>6890302

I've always required it when I run, keeps the cheating down.

>>6890275
>>6890302
My own clone! Now neither of us will be virgins!

Cyberpunk 2020. Wasn't GMing, but i'm the 'take care of shit' guy in our group.

We were playing a group of edgerunners. Hardasses so gritty that they shit brick houses. Three veteran players, and one new guy. It happened that the new guy decided to be LOLevil and DEEP. He was going all angsty and how he hates the world - ok. He tries to play the alpha male in our group [IC, i mean] - we don't give a fuck, it's not a dog sled. And then he just did it.

We were at a bar, negotiating a contract that we badly needed - on our last run i had my arm blasted to pieces, and an EMP blast wrecked all of the Runners gear. And then i see that dumbass stand up and head to the exit after some bitch. I excuse our contact, and head to the exit. I hear screams from a back alley nearby. That dumbass is raping the girl for no fucking reason.

I slowly approach them, only the woman notices me and i see hope in her eyes. I take out my .357 magnum revolver and shoot her in the face twice. The guy panics, i silence him and make him fuck the corpse until he comes. After that i just turn around and head back into the bar.
From then on he behaved like a diligent choirboy.

>>6890366

And I hope you raped him like one.

>>6890366
That is really fucking grimdark man.

>>6890366

>>6890366
> take out my .357 magnum revolver and shoot her in the face twice

Double tap.

>>6890366
I kinda wanna hear more about your character, that was fucking awesome.

In our gaming group at Uni, we had a guy who played the party traitor. He only did it once, but he did it really well - double-crossing the party over a period of months, constantly frustrating their plans so that whenever they showed up to investigate something, the traitor's true masters had already been there and cleaned up. They were always one step ahead, and the party had no idea how they managed it. Masterfully done.

Then there's THAT GUY, who heard the tales of awesome treachery, and decided that he wanted to be the party traitor too. All the time. In every game he played. Except, he sucked at it.

For example, in an AD&D game the party were up against a vampire, and doing moderately well at it. Except THAT GUY suddenly decides that what he wants to do is curry favour with the vampire in order to get embraced and live forever. So mid-battle he turns against the party. Fortunately we managed to put down the vampire and stomp the would-be traitor into the dirt, but it was fucking lame.

This is the THAT GUY who also takes any opportunity he can to play fairy dragons, pixies, or anything else that is small and cute and makes meep noises, under the impression that you can be as much of an ADD tard as you like with no consequences if you are also small and cute.

I never saw him play a kender, but it's probably only because he hadn't heard of them.

>>6890275

Sorry but some of the most horrific cases of "THAT GUY" I've ever seen have been 40k/GW related.

Stinking socially retarded freaks with unit banners cut out of porn mags, who don't care about points limits, take whatever they think they can get away with depending on the opponent, starting range measurements from 6 inchs infront of their unit, picking up dice that were failures as long as there are a lot of successes around them to cover it, making up rules then arguing with you when you point out they are wrong.

The party's fighter was arrested because he started outright insulting an obviously angry and short tempered guard captain to his face. Then, when the captain ordered a guard to take the fighter to jail overnight to "Sleep it off" the fighter tried to fight back and had to be restrained physically by 6 more guards. THAT GUY in my group spent the better part of an hour trying to convince me that the captain of the town guard should be terrified because THAT GUY(lvl 5 paladin) just threatened that his paladin order would declare war on this small-ish city for the arrest of his friend.

>>6890380
why would i? He's a member of my team after all.

>>6890456
He died in a truly cyberpunkish way.

After a hellish op [it seems like the best stuff always happens to us when we're left to ourselves] i got drunk and high. Like properly where-and-who-the-fuck-am-i wasted. I stumbled out of a bar at about 4am into some alley and decided to have a piss. Two hobos approached me and asked for some spurr chang. I went mental, pulled out my revolver [loved that gun - unpractical, but stylish] and started shooting at them.

Point is, that character was a heavily augmented solo, that beating wouldn't be lethal in any normal situation. Wouldn't be, but it was, because i was literally too fucked up to be bothered to patch up my wounds.

I have a heap of other heartwarming stories and some free time, if you want.

>>6890575
Yes please.

>>6890575
shit. My browser died during writing and some text is missing

>and started shooting at them.
...i grazed one's arm, but other than that my shots went really wild. They jumped at me, and started beating the shit out of me with their fists, feet, and whatever was around, including some broken beer bottles.

>>6889996
heheh, nice one.

I used to play with a guy who always based his vampires off The Crow, no exceptions. Always left the party and went off on his own. Almost always used elysium rules and bullshit min/maxing. The best part is, the GM pretty much always killed him off for stupidity.

The sad part is, I'd seen him play some amazing characters in the past, but once he got stuck in that rut, he was just THAT GUY in every game.

>>6890275
I actually had a THAT GUY who played 40k.
He was a friend of a friend who needed a place to stay and we needed a new housemate so we let him take the empty room. When he found out that me and my friend played 40k he said he'd always wanted to try it out, me and my friend said sure why not.

Now this guy has alot in common with the now infamous Luke who's been detailed earlier in the thread. He was unhygenic, unhealthy, a blatant liar and had parents who were very nice and very well off.

Two days after we said sure you can join in (we barely knew him at this stage and I lived with him so it's not like I could have easily said no fuck off) he comes home with over 2000pts of Tau minatures. I offer to help him out but he assures me that he knows how to paint and model and doesn't need any of my help.

Fast forward a week and a bit and I'm at my firends place where we've got a table set up with terrain and half way through a game when THAT GUY arrives. He's got two of those official GW padded model carrying cases and he's constantly criticising our painting technique, conversions and strategies and constantly trying to tell us that we've got the rules wrong.

>>6890650
So we finish our match which has been ruined by him constantly looming over the board and yelling at us about what HE would do if HE was playing. Now it his turn to play, me and my mate flip a coin to see who goes against him my friend fields nids and I play IG. When my friend wins the toss THAT GUY thows a hissy fit not wanting to field Tau against the nids untill I agree that I'll play him with my Guard instead.

So he begins to pull out his models. Now I don't claim to be all that great at the modelling and painting side of this hobby but these models made cringe. I actually felt sorry for the models themsleves having been butchered in such horrid ways. He'd "converted" all of his battlesuits by taking bits and pieces of Gundam figurines and haphazardly gluing them on wherever they'll fit. Parts of his tanks had actually been attached with tape. The only models that had been painted were some basic firewarriors I had to ask what they were cause they just looked like black and red blobs.

>>6890659
The match its self was horrid. Constantly change what units were equiped with what weapons It's not like it was easy to tell with all the Gundam everywhere. He'd misquote the abilities and stats of his own units and then I'd have to go through his codex and show him where he was wrong. He was convinced that all kroot ingnored armour saves in closecombat and we had to stop the game whilst he searched through the entire codex trying to find where he thouht it said this, eventually he gave up and through a little hissyfit claiming he'll find it latter. My own turns we're worse, he'd constantly try to call me out on everything I did as being against the rules in some way or another and wouldn't relent untill me and my firend would pull out the codex/rule book and show him where it said that I could, for example, shoot twice up to 12" with rapidfire weapons. After his ethereal died on the 3rd turn when he charged it into close combat he accused me of cheating, claimed my Guard were OP and then packed his models away and stormed out.

A month later we kicked him out of the house for a whole bunch of other fucked up reasons.

Later people. Great stories, btw. I'll definitely look forward to probably starting one of these threads tomorrow.

we had a THAT GUY back when we played mtg.
off the top of my head he has:

spent 10 minutes on a single blocking phase trying to figure out how to not loose any of his life points or big creatures.

bought enough relentless rats to make a full deck with.

uses some really bitchy combos to win (infinite "opponent skips his turn" was one of his favorites)

it got so bad that most of us where forced into his style of play (i had an infinite life deck with seras avatar, and an infinite mana "do whatever the fuck i want once i get soothsaying out" deck)

also had a THAT GUy when playign mtg.
except i was pretty sure he was retarded, he saw my joke leveler deck and decided it was really cool. he was surprised when i lost to him with it. then a few weeks later he's all check this out, omfg eater of days.

anyway, i stopped playig magic and about a year ago started trying to find a new roleplay group. (prev one had broken up as people moved away)

so, i hear about this group from a guy i will call Cad (Creepy Anime Dude). so cad tells me how he's got a group with space for one more. But then i hear the guy i thought was retarded was the gm. Then Cad procedes to explain the horrors of the gmpc that they've been trying to kill for the last few weeks.

So anyway i do the manly thing, and steal the retards players for my own game. win.

Ok, slight detour here. Cad, was a guy i had know for a while, more a friend of a friend. And he was pretty creepy, he loves anime. And women always came up with amazing excuses when they saw him approaching. But as a guy, I had few problems with him, especially when i told him i dont like anime. So i never had problems. Until he joined my game.

>>6890875

did he make you lose the game?

First of all - FUCK GOOGLE CHROME.

>>6890590
this one was a true BAWWW moment.

Dramatis personae:
-assault programmer, played by me
-a woman solo, played by the girl with the best tits i've ever seen
-2 other solos and a fixer


It was during the Militech - Arasaka corporate war. Arasaka was launching attacks on Militech-owned hab blocks, we were on security detail, with a twist. Just a couple blocks from the main complex, in a normal flat, a daughter of one of the high-ranking corps was hidden. Our group got split up, the woman and one other solo got guard duty over the beautiful 18yo corp daughter named Melinda, the rest just got regular guard duty.

The pair of solos guarding Melinda had the usual witness protection-like duty. You sit on your ass, nobody is supposed to know you're even there, and shit happens. The male solo was a fucking ape that could [and probably did] trade his brain for a grenade launcher, and was about as sociable as a heavily armed microwave oven. The woman, however, was a bit more human, and started to get close with Melinda. Just a chat, a pat on the shoulder, and the general everything-will-be-fine talk that a normal person needs in a situation like this.

>>6890925
After a couple of days of nothing we got tipped on an incoming assault maybe five before it hit us, thanks to the fixer's godlike contacts. It was a fucking slaughter. There was maybe 30 guards total in the complex, and Aras hit us with 5 assault teams [50 men total] and five combat borgs. We had backup incoming in 7 to 9 minutes - we had to hold just two minutes. Thanks to the tip we managed to take out one of the vans, and i've managed to hack into the weapon systems of one of the borgs and launched a grenade salvo inside the other one. In general, it was bloody. we had 20 guards dead when it ended, even though we basically ambushed our attackers. One of the borgs broke through us and slaughtered well over a hundred civilians all alone. That's what happened in these two minutes.


And then we saw smoke coming from the general direction where the rest of the team was. When we arrived the building was on fire, and the corridors leading to the apartment had maybe 10 Arasaka corpses lying there. The male solo was ripped to shreds - he was basically missing a torso. The living room looked like somebody launched a storm of grenades there [incidentally - they did]. In the kitchen the female solo was lying in a pool of blood with her back against a huge freezer chest, dying. Everything was riddled with bullets, on fire, broken, or all three. This is what i got from the security tapes:

Just after we warned them about the incoming assault on us they got hit by a separate group. The female solo gave Melinda her kevlar trenchcoat and hid her in the huge freezer chest.

Just before dying the female solo asked me if Melinda is allright. I told her that she is, and that she did a great job. The freezer behind her had just a handful of holes in it. With a constant stream of blood coming from the lowest one.

>>6890875

So the setting was afmbe (zombe post-apoc).

Ofc his chart had maxed out martial arts, maxed out guns. now afmbe can lend itself to this and i wasn't gripe too much, i need some characters who could actually handle combat, as one of my friends was playing a pure scientist type.

After about 5 or 6 weeks i had to end it. His character was just pissing me off, as fat would have it he made it easy.

The characters where raiding an old farm for supplies, they didn't bank on there being a gun crazed maniac holed up in there. So as they approach he takes a shot at them. Misses completely.

When cad gets out the car, my npc takes another shot. It was a perfect head shot. something along 3 times his hp.

"His shot wizzed past your ear. Perhaps cover would be good?" So cad goes for cover, then about 3 rounds later steps out infront of the building and runs out below the window the marksman is shooting from. And i get another head shot crit.

So i make him sit out and watch the other players, who succeed in taking the marksman alive. So i figure hell why not, Cad here is your new character.

He proceeded to annouy all the other Pc's to the point that when i called an end to the campaign "because of time issues" no one complained.

Did i mention is he great at scaring off girls too?

In the GURPS game I run, I'm lucky enough not to have a THAT GUY anymore. We used to have THOSE TWO GUYS though, but we just stopped inviting them to the games eventually and got some new players to replace them. One of them would always make brooding loner type characters with no attachment to the rest of the party, while the other would pay no attention to the game and browse /b/ or whatever, interrupting serious scenes with loud chortling every now and then. And what with the random murder, torture, breaking of the bones and all, both of their characters made the third PC (who was supposed to be slightly mentally unstable, but roleplayed a bit more subtly) look like the sane one of the group.

Don't get me started on the 4E group I'm playing in though, we have a genuine THAT GUY over there, playing an "awesome tiefling warlock with C-cup breasts", complaining about "boring and cliche" dialogue, trying to get his D&D char an electric guitar after playing Brütal Legend, etc.

>>6890900
as i recall the leveler deck was some kind of silly infinte combo, that had about a 1 in a milllion chance of going off right

We had a THAT GUY, first time gamer. He spent more time designing his character's car stereo than on his character. Pretty much the last time he played too.

>>6890944
i have actually told him before that he is creepy and i know he knows we calling him creepy anime dude behind his back.

He's actaully so great at scaring the girls in my class. (oh did i mention he later changed courses to the same as me, co-incidence realy) The girls will actually fight for who gets to sit in the middle of the group of friends so that cad cant sit next to them.

On another occassion he was physically threated by a girls husband after he was hitting on her on her facebook wall. (he knew she was married)

He really is the kind of guy that makes me feel sorry for women.

I had a THAT GUY in a DH game I gm-ed. Wanted to re-roll every failed roll, but not for faith points. Spend most of his time trying to "pick up some chikas" Ordered the other players to leave so he could do some super-secret stuff (buying a weapon).
He would be a loot whore, even when it was inpractical and irrelevant. Carrying five lasguns is stupid, esspecially when your inquisitor has given you ample funds to complete your mission.

And with the predicabilty of a true retard, he wanted to all to chaos and kill the party. I let him do the former and let my party kill him quite nastily. They deserved that for all the lame shit he brought on.

I used to play with a THAT GUY.

He is legendary for being THAT GUY. He had the cleanliness atypical of something that lives in a sewer. I never saw him bath, shave, change his clothes once in the entire year I knew him. He wore the EXACT. SAME. PAIR. OF. CLOTHES. for that entire time.

He was a fat, repulsive, sexist, egotistical, stinking compulsive liar, who didn't know the meaning of personal space, who liked to think he was some sort of charismatic sex god devil's advocate. I often likened meeting him for the first time to jamming ones head into a bucket of rancid meat, offal, maggots and leeches with eyes and mouth open and gargling.

When RPing, he would constantly try and railroad, become the centre of the attention, get/steal all the best loot, metagame like a mad fucker, and then fuck over any other character in game he didn't like or felt were cooler than his.

>>6891028

The one time he GM'd, it was basically a fanwank of all his previous characters becoming godlike mary-sues, then beating the living shit out of every other character. Especially mine. The entire campaign was one entire torture the crap out of one of my favorite characters (who oddly enough saved the world by accident because something the bastard tried backfired).

He has practically been banned from every Con in this country for things such as: spreading (false) rumors about the directors molesting children, owing over 7 grand in fees to a charity auction then never paying it, sexual harassment, cheating at games and just general fucktardery.

90% of everyone who meets him want to either kill him within the first fifty seconds of meeting him. There are people who aren't even in RP circles who have heard of his epic levels of fucktardery.

We used to RP with him because he was usually the one to provide a house, (well, the GM and I used to because we got paid, and it was the only way I could meet the GM on a regular basis). Not only that but we were the kind of very, very VERY patient folks, who liked to see the good in everyone.

Besides, he had one good quality in RPing. You could legitimately hate his character both in and out of character. He always played himself, despite claiming to play a completely different brand of character.

>>6887102
What's the process to add Smite to Hot Dickings?

>>6891060

Context.

>you are confronted by a band of vengeful paladins
Alright
>they proceed to remove their clothes, roll initiative
Wait, what?
>stunned, you are unable to avoid being hit by their attacks. You are filled with the holy purity of the lord and black out

>your character wakes up, now part of a convent

Can we archive this?

OOohh... We've got a THAT GUY at my LGS, for 40K.
Zach knows exactly who I'm talking about...
The guy not only doesn't read the rules for his own armies, such as infinite demo charges, and orbital bombs every round in non-Apoc games, but he fudges just about every rule in the main book as well. Stat lines are adjusted on the fly, as well as wargear, which tends to play musical chairs depending on who he's playing. He's also the type that thinks he can create the unbeatable army, has never lost a game [Every game he's played in the past 3 weeks, he has been stomped into the floor. Tabled 80% of the time.], and boasts about his painting/modeling skills. He's hackneyed at both, at best. I, personally, refuse to play him, for fear of making him eat all of his models. He doesn't even write up a list. It's 'all in his head'.
He's also tried to convince us that he is 1.) A master swordsman, 2.) A blackbelt in like.. 2 different styles and can open his own dojo, 3.)Trained an famous actor in Troy how to throw a spear, both off and on horseback...
You all get the idea.
Most everyone wants to get rid of him... but one guy keeps saying that 'Oh. He's a decent guy'. And then bitches about him right along with the rest.

>>6890931
>>6890925

You moved me, choomba.

>>6891230
i BAWWWWWWWWWWWW'd

>>6890366
>>6890575
>>6890925
>>6890931

I envy your play group so much right now.

If you were internet-hosted... ffff

I would sacrifice a digit for that kind of gameplay.

>>6891284
Also, demanding what system you were using-- and more stories.

>>6891117

Done.

"LUKE, PLAGUESON OF NURGLE, AND OTHER GUYS"

"/tg/ finds catharthic release in relating their experiences of some of the most horrific That Guys to disgrace Creation. If you ever feel down and disheartened, read this thread - you'll know that you're nowhere near as bad as these creatures, and your morale will perk right back up."

We have a "That guy". This guy, refuses to do any number crunching pre-game. This is in D&D. He has a magical sword, a decent strike, and a decent strength score. All of which are not added together beforehand.

I had to remember his AC for him.

Whenever it gets to his turn, he struggles with ARITHMETIC. For ten minutes. This is with Cleric buffs flying too, but it's GOD DAMNED ADDITION. WE LEARN THIS SHIT IN GRADE ONE. When asked if he wants help, two of our players pull up calculators because 5 minutes have passed. He goes "No, no, it's good" then takes 5 more minutes double and triple checking just to see if he hit. When it comes time to do damage, I am halfway to punching him in the face. This happens every round.

I've made a spreadsheet to track all player buffs. I'm testing it this week. Hopefully the math challenged retard can play now.

Oh, and he accuses me, the cleric, of munchkin'ing. Yeah, I'm a Cleric. Yeah, I memorised alot of buff spells. Yeah, on the BBEG fight, I used alot of them. But it's logical to do that. I'm the god damned Cleric.

Then he accuses ME of slowing the game down. I've already told him it's only arithmetic and the only other player that has problems is in her first campaign. Even then, she lets people help.

>>6891284
well, glad you like. And we don't play online - i actually like those people, and playing grimdark pretend and drinking beer together is a decent pastime.

>>6891286
Cyberpunk2020. And no more stories today - i'm off for my last classes today, and then either for a nice cup of tea, or to get drunk.

For me, I've had a few encounters with That Guy.

The first one was a nice enough guy outside of the whole gaming spectrum, but damn if you got him going. The guy made a rogue for 4th, one who was all "Look at me the wrong way and I kill you"

Now normally, I don't mind that, we were in a fairly bad place, (Had to go to Luskan), but when we get there, the guy with the contract arrives. Within a minute the rogue loses his rag and cuts the contract's throat, "Now we got the gold and don't have to do anything for it!", was his response.

The DM simply sat there and let it go out, two sessions later, "You wake up, the birds chirping within the woods you were camped in, though there's a troubling smell in the air this morning. As your eyes clear you see Leskin (char. name) disemboweled and hanging from a tree by his neck.

Yeah.. dude ragequit after that.

Still that wasn't the last one, the worst guy I've ever met was my buddy at Highschool, knew him for like forever, he always wanted to do RP but never really got into it.

After coming back from deployment in Afghanistan he moved back to town, he asked if he could join a game with us (we were playing DH, I was dming) I was like, "Yeah sure"

So he shows up, made his character and all for him, so the first session goes of without a hitch, he plays it all like a pro and a true bro. I was happy, finally a good player.

Well.. spoke too soon, session two comes around and.. oh.. my god.. he suddenly loses it, I mean, we were checking for cultists, instead of being good about it he was like a goddamn bulldozer through a china shop.

Shooting up guys left and right, threatening everybody, this was before they were real Inq. henchmen, so no real authority, a few minutes later naturally the Arbites show up, the leader tries to go to talk.

What does this asshat do, he shoots at the goddamn Arbites, que a battle which starts of with him getting a stormbolter shot to the chest and the rest of the PC group getting assraped by the Arbites' shotties.

>>6891533
Without any rolls involved?
That's a ragequit without prejudice.

>>6891554

No no, he was asked to roll for a bunch of things at the beginning of the 'camp'

as we all are by our GM (random beasties and such around), he failed his roll, but our GM didn't and doesn't ever tell anyone this. But apparantly he botched his rolls really badly, (guy had 3 assassins vs his level 2 char.)

But he was rather surprised that his character had died.

>>6887151
>Once the sheets are in my hands I tear them half and throw him out of my game.

Honestly you seem just as much of a faggot as him. Creepy twins fucking each other is a pretty common trope, would you chuck GRRM out of your group?

>>6891625

In a tabletop RPG setting? I'd tell GRRM to get the fuck out, most likely.

There's a difference between reading a novel by yourself and kicking back with the homies.

>>6891571
I still, personally, think a better scenario is one in which he's waking up just as the primary assassin thrusts his knife down, letting him jerk away enough to prevent the coup de grace but not sneak attack damage, so he takes a fudged amount equal to most of his HP, but enough to let him scream for help. If anyone tries to arm themselves, one hisses that they just want the killer, all the rest can just wait it out unharmed. Let him -see- the fallout of his actions, even make some rolls. Let him see the others won't help him because he brought it on himself.

>>6891644
fair enough

thread is tl;dr

assuming /tg/ d&d fats have never actually held or shot rifles

>>6891331
I have to chime in here. I'm like that, except I don't play d&d because no one I know wants to dm and I can't do it because I have dyscalculia. We tried to play once but what you describe is pretty much what happened and we decided to not bother.

Dyscalculia is what it sounds like, dyslexia but for numbers. It's just as frustrating for him as it is for you. It would be better for all of you if someone else did the math for him so you can just play and enjoy the game.

But maybe he is a retard, plain and simple. You should still just have someone do it for him so you can just get on with the game and have fun.

Man, I feel truly blessed for the limited exposure to That Guys I've had in my short time at a uni gaming club. Out of all the people who attend, there's only one guy who gives me pause.

And it's not even that he's a bad person. He's okay enough and does a decent job, it's just that he's weeaboo to a fault and also smells like an armpit slathered in sour cream. And that's it.

I don't know why you are all afraid of offending "That guy"

We had "That guy" but it was never a problem, we let him to stupid things all the time, but we would direct his retardation.

He was always first to go in anywhere questionable, he turned into a big meat shield and we then started calling his character "Meaty" from then on.

If they really don't want to die every game they will learn to not be a Dbag.

Had a THAT GUY that we invited to a game just because we were lacking players, so we figured he would be good because the rest of us are just starting off and he supposedly knew how to play really well.

Anyway the guy gets there, we ask him to dm since he supposedly knows what he's doing. immediately tells us "no your characters are underpowered" and makes us take 14s/15s in anything under that, puts our important stats at 18. Makes us multiply our hit points by four, so now I'm a fighter with 48 hit points (+2 con score). He also had us take about 20 skills. This is at level 1.

Anyway, I think "whatever, he'll probably have tougher monsters and even it out somewhat atleast." Nope. No chance.

We just started out in the middle of a field. "Okay, there are some monsters here... and here... and here. Okay, you don't know the monsters are there though... but you hear some noises in the bushes."

Me: ...Should I roll a listen check or something?

THATGUY: OH YEAH sure go ahead.
So I roll, roll something low. "Okay, you don't hear it."

me: uhhh, okay.

Eventually we get past his retardedly hard to hear monsters clause and someone in the party manages to hear them with a 17 or something. He makes me figure out the exact position I have to be in the see them behind some rocks, and then finally I'm allowed to charge at them. (cont'd)

>>6894483

Anyway, we finally see the monsters, I charge at them. Apparently they're some kind of hyena/wolf/man people that he can't describe for shit. Anyway I'm there doing almost no damage somehow, while the ranger keeps missing and the guy who was playing a kobold I had designed for my game (before the crazy stats shit) was doing like 10 damage a hit with a sling and hitting everything because he had like 23 dex. Anyway, we finish that group and manage to retard our way to the next, this time I decide to try to jump up on a pile of rocks he had noted was there to get above the opponents and have an advantageous point (the rest of the group was doing fuck all besides "i hit the bad guys" because they're the type of people that don't take the initiative to do anything) anyway he makes me roll to get up about 4 ft of rock, as a dorf. I roll a 12 or so, he responds "no, you didn't make it, you jump up and land on some pebbles".

(con'ting)

ITT That Guys

After we kill all of his retarded encounters in the field he has us get to some town (doesnt bother explaining how or anything). We end up in a tavern sleeping, of course his dmpc character is sleeping in a room with the female elven ranger while my dwarf sleeps in a room with the kobold. He has us wake up with a bunch of gold in the room, apparently the rogue dmpc went out and stole from a bank and brought all the gold into our room, just lying around. I go wtf, and then he has the guards come after my dwarf and the kobold because the gold's in OUR room. He makes the elf seduce the guard into letting us go after she fucks him, then something happens that makes the guards hate us again and in trying to get away by setting the forest on fire behind us it manages to spread to the town. He brings in another dmpc vampire thing at level 11 or some shit to "magically bring a body of water over the town to put out the fire". She comes down and I ask her to have sex with me, knowing the dm would end up having her fuck his character if I didn't. He rolls a d% for some reason, gets a 100% (he called it a 110%, if that helps explain how retarded he is) and says she goes down on me, bites my cock, and now I'm turning into a vampire.

I'm so glad we ended that game there, and haven't invited him back to anything since.

>>6894483
>>6894564
>>6894640

>>6891533
>>6891571
Your GM sucks.

>>6894640

THAT GUY was, coincidentally, a guy we referred to as "Dudeguy". I suppose we cursed ourselves from the start.

He also had a folder full of retarded homebrew rules and homebrew characters that sounded mostly like vampires.

Before the game we all went to the store to get snacks, he decided he'll pay for us with his FOOD STAMPS. So we go there and get some chips and go to leave, he pays with his FOOD STAMPS which apparently didn't have all the money he thought they had so he had to ask one of us for half of the money. Then he walks back to the aisles with the bags of food, very obviously sneaks some food into the bags, and then gets us to leave with him. Not only that, but he brags about how he stole some $1 thing of candy and if the cops come tell them he's innocent etc.

He also does the creepy heavy breathing thing and the way he talks just creeps you out, and he never shuts up. He wasn't even trying to roleplay, he just kept... talking...

anyway, that's our group's THAT GUY.

I've had several of "THAT GUY" in games I've run in the past. Two were notable:

Most recently, THAT GUY decided that after being assigned to protect the rest of the party as valuable scientists (he really wanted to be a soldier, and it was the only way to work him it) - the best way was to mug them, steal the valuable artifacts they had, run off and bury them in the forest, and then refuse to tell anyone, including his boss (who had assigned him as their bodyguard) where those artifacts were. He ended up in a packaging crate on a cargo plane, set to be dropped off in Panama, and was never seen again.

Previously, a different THAT GUY was in another game I ran, and wanted to be the Gary Stu of the story (I can do anything! I don't need the relevant stats/attributes/skills to pull it off, and everyone else sucks at it, even though they _do_ have those stats/attributes/skills). He made the mistake of thinking that if you buy the maximum level of "Nemesis" in a point buy system, and then arrange your "personally chosen nemesis" to be offed in your back story, that you had "free points". He ignored the fact that unless you buy it off, you get a replacement. He died when his replacement nemesis (another party member, actually) taunted him into the equivalent of whizzing on the electric fence. Never saw him again either.

Here is some normal person advice.

If someone is freakishly retarded like there stories are, you leave immediately and don't look back. If someone is freakishly retarded before the game starts you kick them out.

>>6894956
In both of my stories, they weren't freaks until the game had started - also, both were the first time I had those ones in a game. The first one technically lasted five sessions, because both I and the other player (the one who became the replacement nemesis) found it entertaining to watch as he was steadily manipulated into screwing himself over time after time. "I jump up there after him" - "Um, it's a 30 foot veritcal leap - did you take that ability?" - "No, but I shouldn't have to - he did it!" - "He took the ability, and paid points for it. You'll have to use the stairs if you want to get all the way up." - "Screw this, I jump anyways!" - "Ok, you jump over the edge of the cliff, and by your stats, make it about 6 feet up before you start falling again - make an agility test to catch yourself before you fall into the thorn bushes below.

The other one (the mugging bodyguard) showed up once, and offended everyone in the group so badly that none of them would even talk to him anymore.

>>6890294
My group has a completely different philosophy on dice. It's about the story, not the game or the rules, so I don't give a shit if player's cheat (I'm almost always GM). In fact I'd encourage them too if I threw something unbalanced at them. And whenever I feel as though they're rolling a little too high a little too often, I just start telling them they miss and the enemy got a confirmed critical hit. DM is allowed to do that, no rolls required.

The dice are there for the excitement of randomness in a game and dealing with your own failure. If my player's want to play overpowered campaigns where nobody ever fucks up- fine with me. I just start throwing invincible foes who also never fuck up at them. Minmaxers aren't hard to deal with- just chuck ridiculous homebrew at them or template the fuck out of your world.

>>6895554
Yeah, you and your group sitting around stroking each others cock sure sounds like a lot of fun.

>>6895738
Would you rather sit around and hit each other in the crotch with hammers?

>>6895753
I'd rather PLAY the GAME and enjoy myself, not tell the group about how awesome my character is, I'd like to fucking show them. Roleplaying is great, one of the greatest things about D&D, but it's also a god damn game, there IS a goal, and you need those dice and rules to reach it, otherwise you're no better than those furfaggots on freeform RP boards.

I remember I ran into a whole forum of That Guys on the internet, once.

I was looking for a play-by-post forum, and I had just gotten into RPing. The only system I knew was oWoD Werewolf, and so I decided to look for a werewolf board, or at least one that contained it among others.

A quick Google search found me one, but all the forums were hidden before I made an account. So I did, registered with the site, and brought out my stoner hippy generic Child of Gaia theurge werewolf to play, who is always pretty lulz-worthy.

So I enter a thread and have him sitting on the ground, toking, generally a good way to meet pertinent NPCs, when another player comes up and keeps asking me if I want to fuck. I look at her, shrug, and turn her down. Probably has some kind of Wyrm-powered STDs if she wanted to fuck that readily. Gave some crap about the survival of the species, even though she didn't know my character was a werewolf. So I decided to look around at the other threads on this place, and find one that wasn't populated by horny fuckers.

Turns out the entire board was a furry board. In their non-RP general section they even had a subforum dedicated to discussing your fursona. I had just got into werewolf, and didn't even come close to making the werewolf/furry connection yet, as the couple games I had played in had been mostly unadulterated badassery.

Needless to say, I got the fuck off, and took a long, cold shower.

Our THAT GUY was a dumbass who claimed to do it to "make us laugh". Not "for the lulz", mind you; his words not mine.

One time 3 party memebers (with THAT GUY) were captured in a dungeon, while I was outside standing guard. The DM starts off "You wake up in a medium-sized room, you are not restrained, but the only door is glowing with a dangerous looking energy. Oddly enough, there is a well in the center of the room and-"

"OMG WAT THA FACK I JUMP DOWN DEH WELL HEAD FIRST!" Interupts THAT GUY (who was playing a warlock). Despite being cautioned by the DM not to, he did it anyway. It was a 40 foot fall with no water at the bottom. He survived (unfortunatly) with 3 hp due to some whining and being annoying.

He sits there, being unhelpfull while the other two characters tried desperatly to find a way out for 59 rounds, while my character tried to bust down a stone wall to save them (had to have a natural 20, I failed many more than 59 times.)

Eventually THAT GUY decided to use a grappeling hook and some hempen rope to get out... but for a stupid reason he casts a fire spell on the rope ("Guise, I heard somewhere that fire makes hempen rope stronger imma do dat!") He burned it up and bitched to the other players to give them their rope. While climbing up he wanted to try wall jumping to get up faster, but having a -5 to acrobatics makes it very hard to do that. So he tries for a half an our to wall jump his way up the well.

Eventually I bust a hole in the wall, and the dm says "Ok, fuck it, you get out of the well and you all escape with a magic weapon."

THAT GUY: "BUT I WANTA-"

DM: "NO. FUCK YOU IN THE ASS!!! WE ARE DONE!"

And that was the last D&D game I have ever played.

>>6895991
I don't think creepy sexual RP counts as being THAT GUY if you do it on a forum that seems to be FOR creepy sexual RP. It'd be like turning up to a FATAL game and complaining when people start talking about anal circumference.

>>6896015

OP here, I can't believe this thread has lasted this long.

Good stories guys. You all make me feel better about my group.

This thread has granted me much amusement. I thank you all.

One thing I do to keep my players in line when I DM.

I set a few rules down for new players. No CN or any Evil alignments starting off, those are a reward to players that have proven they can play either. If your character becomes evil through gameplay, your character is taken and becomes an NPC at that point, and you have to reroll, unless you have taken your character down that path through meaningful roleplaying and proven yourself to me.

It's worked to keep several "That Guy" out of my group. To such players quit after one or two sessions claiming "this game is too restrictive" and one other quit before the game started stating exactly that. Note that no player I regularly game with believes that to be the truth.

Always treat new players with caution and paranoia, limit them as much as you can, and tell them straight out that it's only until they prove themselves as competent players.

This thread makes me realize I should also b& obvious anime-inspired characters.

>This thread makes me realize I should also b& obvious anime-inspired characters.

Blatant rip-offs, yes. At least ask them to mix up stuff from a number of sources AND make sure the end result fits the setting.

Keeping that in mind you can end up with some surprisingly good concepts, like one of our more memorable PCs (although only one of the sources was animu, the other two being vidya, and show wrestling, respectively)

>>6897344
Nah, some anime-inspired characters can be alright. Just make sure to mix in a massive does of realizm along with the original content.

>>6897648
>realiZm
In mah /tg/? No suh!

Dark Heresy game.
We had 5 in our group. A tech-priest(me), 2 inquisitors, an assasin(THAT GUY) and a psyker. The running story that was going on was that we'd discovered a khornate cult, backed by World Eaters, on a hive world. We'd managed to find their main hideout, and were scouting it out, discovering that a handful of Berzerkers were standing guard, including that swell guy, Kharn. So, the plan was to fall back, get reinforcements, and strike before they could do whatever it was they were planning. Then, THAT GUY, decides to attack the berzerkers, thus alerting them to our presence. Remember that one Spongebob scene where Patrick's telling the story of the ugly barancle? He had that same grin on his face as we were all butchered. I've yet to play another DH game since.

>>6897803
Sorry, I'm too busy raging over having Kharn the Motherfucking Berzerker guarding something on some dirty hive to care for your problems.

Seriously. Kharn the Betrayer?

>>6897803
U srs?

>>6897803
Your entire group seem to be That Guy.

>>6889652
>>6889709
>>6889730
>>6889831
>>6889887
>>6889903
>>6889979
>>6890035
>>6890064
>>6890135

I am this gent's house mate, and now feel the need to rant about The Luke. Bumping, more tales incoming.

>>6898527
The Luke sounds like it should be a BBEG.

this thread makes me proud of the fact that i am THAT GUY

THAT GUY in our roleplaying group is sadly, a pretty good guy as far as conversions and wargames go. Get him into a roleplaying game and everything goes wrong though.

First off, he is mostly under the impression that the mechanics don't matter, and he should be able to describe and do whatever he can imagine his character doing.

When the GM describes the huge, butch but attractive, human women in the bar, he challenges them with his dragonborn fighter, his 2nd level fighter. Both of the NPCs are 8th to 10th level. And then he complains and throws a hissy fit when he loses the roll off. Apparently his 300 pound dragon born should never lose an arm-wrestling match to a 160ish pound woman, regardless of differing stats and magical gear.

He was headed out of town soon, and had promised to leave the rest of his party his magical equipment, as he was the one who walked away from the last crawl with most of the magical loot. He proceeded to gamble away all his possessions and himself into slavery while armwrestling, then walking his character off into the desert with all his stuff to die before the amazons could claim him.

>>6898596

In another camapign, the GM tells him his Eladrin can't teleport all over the room at the drop of a hat like Nightcrawler, he sulks. And then later, when the party was infiltrating a necromancer's tower, trying to to alert the skeleton guards, he teleports into the middle of the guards and randomly shouts at the top of his lungs: 'JAMBI THE GENIE!' Instant huge fight, at the end of which, our paladin is dead. As it turned out the necromancer wasn't hostile, and if we had been able to reach him without fighting through the tower, we could have avoided almost all the combat.

Every game I've ever played with him in, he's whined because he can't do what he thinks is in theme with the game, when it's often just LOL RANDUMB. On top of that, he often misses what's going on with events in game because he's reading /b/, or playing WoW, or just looking at lolcats during games, rather than listening to the GM.

The one time he GM'd, he tried to railroad us into hard encounters and a pretty linear path. Sadly, linear is hard to do in space opera, and we ended up playing trader, and setting up to turn our freighter into a flying brothel. He quit running after two sessions as we weren't playing the epic adventure he had planned.

>>6898623
Thread nearly at autosage, if it isn't already; continue THAT GUY tales in The Luke thread here: >>6898745

I almost had to play cleric in a party almost entirely of THAT GUYs. This guy I know, whom I will call Al, is a year younger than me invites me to play in the game he's DMing, primarily because I know my shit and I'd provide more drag than lift. I agree, he says he doesn't care what I play, and I roll up a swashbuckler because swashbucklers are awesome, if a bit impractical.

>>6886851
it does help. until they play other things like Kender.
I have a standing "no kender" rule as a PC. as in, one approaches or tries to talk to me, I kill it. this is not invoke an alignment change, since I previously got the GM to rule that a lawful good character can, upon seeing a thief committing their crime, engage in deadly combat.
a kender trying to talk to you is committing theft at the time. without exception. deadly force is justified.
we had a THAT GUY (female. more like THAT HAMBEAST) who decided to rachet up the irritating on that a few notches by playing a kender, acting cute and speaking using her character's name in lieu of personal pronouns. this was her first game playing a kender with our group, and she apparently thought "I have a strict no kender policy" meant "I'm just a player not GM, so my rules aren't binding. but kender push my buttons. please don't play one." and that pushing my buttons would be fine.
she was rather upset when, after about 2 hours of play when the GM finally gathered the party (we never start with "you are in a bar") her character introduced herself and I declared "she's flat footed. I'm taking an aimed strike for decapitation."