in b4 faerie guro

The bus? Are those wings just for show?

Exotic sport hunting.

>>6929475

I'm willing to bet she can't fly at 40+ miles an hour.

And that doing so would be a bad idea in the first place, what with birds and insects.

>>6929465
Discover their dry empty husks amongst cobwebs behind the wheelbarrow in your garden shed.

>>6929475
Well the bus is faster than they are. It's the same reason why humans ride the bus. They're not flying at mach speeds over here.

>>6929475
In Canada at least, you need to submit all the proper forms and inform the local airports and the city council, and apply for a special permit if you want to fly using magical means.

>Have to ride special small tiny seats on the bus.

In the BACK of the bus.

Until fairy civil rights laws are passed, but I'll be damn sure to do all I can to stop that. I'm not going to let my children be educated in the same schools as fucking pixies.

ITT: Shadowrun

Also, what kind of jobs would faeries have? Can they be a professional pollinator?

>>6929527

Mobile high-speed targets.

magic is illegal unless you are very rich and can afford permits

>>6929527

They seem like pretty good spies/assassins.

Are mandated to wear blindfolds or special goggles at all times, so they all have magical seeing eye dogs lead them around.

>>6929608

Another Dead Regdar...so how many Dead Regdars does that make now?

>>6929626
More like deadgar! dohohohohoho

The Nfl and boxing is entirely dominated by Orcs and ogres.

>>6929608
No, they can still see with a blindfold on. Their snakes sort of see for them, but it's like some kind of peripheral vision.

>>6929626

it's a running gag

>>6929626
They have a devoted factory pumping them out now.

>>6929535
how depressing

>>6929649

Yea, I know. I noticed about three or four Dead Regdars. Anyone have an official count?

Druids = Hippies. Now college campuses are full of elves with strands of still-living Weed plant braided in their hair.

>>6929626
>>6929640

he's a fighter, that's his job

pixies would be PRO SURGEONS.


also, give them a tiny keyboard and make the bitches write code. You could stuff like 60 of em in one cubicle. Give them microphones and have the answer phone calls.
CUSTOMER: HALP MY COMPUTER NO TURN ON

ASSISTANT: Why hello there, i am tinkerbell tiddlyw-... errr Judith and how may I assist you today? This phone call may be monitored for quality purposes!

... pretty much how they get treated in Eberron.

>>6929681
Since when do they let Orcs use computers?

Elves: Porno.

Just porn.

>>6929713
I thought that was Drow.

>>6929702
My gardener is a Half-Orc, and he sends money home.
Maybe they saved enough for a Dell?

Hitmen, mobsters, and professional sports players. The latter often get into fights with the Refs though.

Druids/Dryads: Horticultrists and county agents.

Nymphs: heh heh

>>6929748
Dryads run the USDA.

Urban Arcana.

Vampires:

Work at plasma donation centers.

Necromancer: Mortiuary. Grandpapy sure does seem lifelike!

>>6929644
I would totally watch that.
Also rocky films would depict a human beating an ogre in boxing

This is now a modern fantasy creatures pic dump.

>>6929835
I love elves in sweaters and I don't know why.

Mindflayers are CEOs.
Kobolds work in the Mailroom.
Oozes are used in the sanitation industry.

I work in IT, in a cubicle next to Jerrik. He's a gnome, so I'm never really surprised by the shit he sends through email when I get to my desk in the morning.

"Haha.... Real funny.... Another screamer. Isn't that the third one this week?"

He says to me, "Dude? You see that fine ass elf they got working in reception. Man, I'd go orc all over that ass."

"What?! You're 3 foot nothin', dude. I don;t think it's gonna happen."

"Height ain't nothin when she's on her knees."

Hand on my face and a heavy sigh, "Jesus christ, Jerrick..."

>>6929886

>>6929888
Heh, a have a Gnome buddy. Lent me his copy of the Gnomish Kama Sutra.

Recently I started dating a girl over the internet. We had a lot in common; video games, movies, music, stuff like that. A month ago, we decided it was time to share pics. It was then that I learned she was a Tiefling. I expressed my surprise (having grown up in a small town) and she thought that It was a negative thing. I reassured her that that was not the case. Anyway, I think this has really brought us even closer together, and we are meeting for the first time next week.

I bet she smells like burning paper.

>>6930069
Fuck yes, old moldy, crackling paper?

Mhmm...

>>6930069
You know it'll really be a 40 year old male Bugbear, don't you?

Probably in Africa, Australia, or other ass-backward segments of the world that Rome and China never got around to conquering.
Because I'll tell you right now, the Romans hunted a species of green tigers out of existence to fill their colosseums, what would they do to green pig-people?

>>6930069
>I bet she smells like burning paper.
So how incorrectly am I wired that that sounds really hot to me?

>>6930108
Hugbear.

>>6930118
Take them over, adopt their useful tactics, discard the rest, train entire legions of them to fight in formation, ???, profit.
That isn't a joke.

>>6930136
>burning paper
>burning
>fire
>hot

>>6930136
You probably associate the smell of burning paper with something positive from your past. Like a bonfire you went to with your dad or just hanging around with your friends burning shit.

>>6929732

Und zumtimes, zumvun tries zelling normal veapons off as magikal vuns... und zen zey turn op on mein table at zee docks, fhor zee lesson, jah.

>>6929923
Dwarves would make the scariest fucking bikers.

>>6930177
Why is this making me think of d20 Modern/Urban Arcana Grand Theft Auto?

Verity needs 10 living bodies for "Science".
She'll pay handsomely in discarded clothes and weapons of those who thought they could pull a fast one on her...

>>6930142
Cutest Bugbear girlfriend pet name possible.

>>6930190
"I KEPT SHOOTING BUT HE WOULDN'T GO DOWN!"

>>6929465
Dragons would be long distance flight services/high class bodyguards, or the really old and rich ones would run corporations or nap

>>6930153
>Roman Orcs

Human girls would be into Half-Orc guys because they have like 10 inch dicks.

>>6930375
in circumference.

>>6930375
Nope, they're tiny like gorillas.

lets not turn this into a thinly veiled jib against black people.


But yes, orcs would dominate sports.

Equal rights for post- humans!
" Undead - yes,
Unperson- NO!"

also, i like hillbilly dwarfs.

>>6930236

To make the deal, you'll find her down at the Casablanca Bar. Seems the good doctor has a weakness for one bard-cum-stand up comedian there that she never misses.

>>6930177
And this is why you don't try and cheat people, folks.

>>6930236
... I hope I never run a d20 modern campaign. I Would include this.

Last pic.

>>6930465
Reminds me of Discworld's Campaign for Equal Heights.

"There are no actual dwarves in the group, as they're all too busy doing real work."

A family of pixies runs the Panda Express in the mall closest to my house. Their youngest daughter runs the cash register. Shes my age and has these awesome little tits I swear I could have gotten her number but some fat Drow Dyke was all grumbling and shit because our flirting was holding up the line.

Hasn't this been done in a novel?

I don't mean discworld, I mean strictly modern. I could have sworn I read something about post-industrial revolution faeries and stuff...

>>6930441 But yes, orcs would dominate sports

Its not like, according to the rules, Gnolls, Ogres, Trolls and Lizardmen can kick their green asses, right?

Sorry, Orc in D&D means "Just above human" in strengths. Their are a lot more widely availible humanoid races that can, one for one, thrash the generic orc monster.

>>6930441
Had I said that Halflings had small dicks, would you have though that it was a jab against Asians?

>>6930469
Best Mr. Johnson ever.

>>6930508
Level adjustment? Get that weak shit out of here!
Humans shall always triumph.

You can cut it however you like, but it's been scientifically proven again and again that orcs are both more violent and have less mental capacity then other humanoids.

I believe different persons require different rights. If I ran a piano lifting service and refused a faerie a job no one would complain, but if I refuse an orc because of their intelligence, it's discrimination. I get branded a racist.

How is this "justice"?

>>6930441

Elves would destroy them in basketball.

Dwarves would be pretty good against them in football. And boxing.

>>6930654
Or would that be specist? If you can breed non-sterile children with them, are they just a "race" of homo sapiens regardless of appearance?

>>6930654

In 4e, Orcs are just as smart as Elves

>>6930752
Correct me if I'm wrong, but 4e doesn't have stat penalties.

>>6930752
This is bait.

>>6930682
OH GODS! both Dwarves and Orcs would be kick ass at rugby.

>>6930717

>>6930752
Just another reason why 4e sucks.

>>6930752
>>6930779
Samefag trying to troll this thread. Nothing to see here folks.

>>6930236
>d20 Modern/Urban Arcana Grand Theft Auto

I'd play it in a second.

Elves and gnomes would be ridiculously good at video games. also, dwarves playing Dwarf Fortress?

>>6930819
they'd have all sorts of other fictional fantasy races.

>>6930819
Knock that shit off. This is a no-recursion area.

>>6930654
They're not genetically stupid its just a lack of education because Goblinoids have always been vilified and repressed by the "Good" Races so they have to work hard from the day they are born to even count as lower class citizens. I've never seen a dwarf that wasn't any less loud or violent than an Orc. The only difference is that Dwarves fall under the same mandatory education laws as Humanoids.

>>6930774
Did I hear Rugby?

I think I heard Rugby!

>>6930819

>>6930819

Toady is an autistic Gnome

>>6930775
>>6930847
Blood Bowl, gentlemen.

>>6930819
Kobolds with their dex bonus would make them pretty hardcore gamers.

>>6930879
Does that have Gnolls, though?

>>6930847
Fuck... every human still willing to play rugby after the addition of fantasy races would very near the top of my list of people not to fuck with.

>>6930893
It has Beastmen, which are close. Accommodations for you hyena bastards could be made.

>>6930902
I think I might be one of those people.

Being bullied in school just went from "sucks to be me" to "sucks being hospitalized"

>>6929888

I completely forgot about this thread. I meant to write more about Jerrick and me at the office. I was going to introduce Mak, the Serverforged; Davym, the mailroom Minotaur; and Berta, the frumpy half-orc in accounting who won't stop talking about her cats.

Modern age elemental chicks?

Oh god, you better hope the relationship doesn't end badly...

Most fantasy species would have probably gone extinct by now. Most pests that aren't organized races with their own civilizations would have been killed off in centuries past. As soon as man had the ability do you think he'd tolerate dragons? No. Gnolls and kobolds and other such pests would have been decimated as well. So even if they are physically superior to orcs they probably only live on reservations.

The other species might clash as well. Do you really think faeries would tolerate spiders and birds of prey, or cats being anywhere near them? In any community with a high faerie population such dangerous fiends are going to be killed off by the faeries to protect themselves. This would of-course lead to other problems...

In most places humans probably don't like faeries around in great numbers.

Elves due to their longevity probably dominate politics and the economy. Being able to live for so long means they an stay the president of a company for centuries, or stay in the senate or congress. They're probably the Illuminati.

I can imagine it would be pretty fun to "wrestle" with a lamia.

>>6930942
Never does. They are very easy to manipulate if you wish, and they wear their emotions on their sleeves, or rather, their bodies. There was this one water elemental, who was really nice in bed. However, I tried pillow talk one night, and let me tell you, hell hath fire, but it's the cold water that'll turn you inside out first. I couldn't get warm for a week.

>>6930935
OH GOD! YOU ARE NOW IMAGINING THE VARIOUS LEVELS OF THE EDUCATION SYSTEM WITH FANTASY RACES!!!
ALLOW ME TO HELP: PRE-SCHOOL
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
(which, for me was primary, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
JUNIOR HIGH
(7, 8, 9)
HIGH SCHOOL
(10, 11, 12)
THE VARIOUS FORMS OF POST SECONDARY EDUCATION.

>>6930930
Ohhh, I'm going to look into that now... A gnoll team playing rugby would be fun to play.

Magic is going to be highly restricted, it will probably be perceived much like firearms.

Vore, crush, and giantess fetishes are probably even less accepted than they are in the real world because with shrink/growth magic they can suddenly become very dangerous.

>>6930956
What about a chubby Gorgon?

>>6930992
Ah. You again.

I can imagine how each race would influence music.

>>6930954
If we're trying to be realistic.

They have a few thousand years of geographical isolation and a couple of centuries of oppression, slavery and/or inbreeding with the conquerors.

Are we trying to justify fantasy races on earth, or fantasy races at our modern level but somewhere else?

Gnomes would have conquered the world by now, turning it into... something like Shadowrun, but more pleasant for the average worker.

>>6930985
>be perceived much like firearms.

You'll take my wands over my cold, dead body!

>>6930954
>Gnolls and kobolds and other such pests would have been decimated as well.
There would be a lot of clensing of the dangerous ones, peaceful ones would have a hard time because of the rest of the species. Survival would be possible.

I wonder how all the different species survive in the fantasy world, besides lol magic.

>>6930954
In my setting, the orc population dropped dramatically during the Age of Exploration where humans had the firepower to own them and the Manifest Destiny Fuck Year Humanity not to give a crap. Somewhere around the 1900s people started caring and orcs crept into first reservations then human cities. They're common in low income jobs and a popular restaurant chain is based on orcish foods.

>>6930985

I've had that fetish since I was 5 years old. Although I only realized it when I was 16.

>>6931039
Oh god. I don't think I could listen to Gnoll music. Although I can imagine they'd be fairly into the death- and thrash- metal.

>>6931054

Fungal Spores that prey on the various species means that you can't expand too much.

>>6930976
So many middle class white human male teenagers complaining about how all the Orcs and Beastmen get way more scholarship opportunities.
Elves all go to private school are their parents have no problem getting them into big league colleges. Pointy Ear Blue Blood Wasp bastards.

I wonder what the racial slurs would be like, I wonder if racism between humans would still exist

>>6931040
Doesn't matter. Racial harmony is a bullshit and you better believe that with ACTUAL different SPECIES of sentient animal that they'd have done horrible things to one another. The only way nations would have gotten started in the first place was by one particular race becoming dominant in that area.

There would have been much genocide long before the industrial revolution and probably a long ways after.

So, I got a call from my mom the other day. She and dad wanted me to come home for the holidays. I told them that I had work, but...they were pretty adamant about it. "If we're going to live here, we need to try to fit in," she said. Well, whatever.

So I got in my car and went through my normal routine. First off was a skullcap. It was weird at first, using it to hide my ears, but I got used to it. Then I put on a baseball cap and a pair of sunglasses. Cliche for disguises, but they do a great job of masking your features when you don't want someone looking too closely at you. With everything in place, I started the engine and started down the road.

Now, most folks at college are pretty open minded. I get weird looks and I hear people saying stuff about being a "point ears" or a "forest boy," but I let it slide. It's not worth it to get angry over every little insult. I used to do that when I was in high school, but I don't have to prove anything. I'm an Elf, so what. I can't change that and, even if I could, what else would I be? A dwarf? An orc? A...human? Hell no. I'm proud of who I am.

Or, at least, I am most of the time. Between my hometown and my college, there's this nasty string of towns. I'm not even sure what they're actually called, but a lot of us non-humans just know it as the Belt. I don't know what happened here, but I have yet to meet someone from the Belt that isn't a xenophobe. They're on campus with signboards, talking about segregating the campus. A few weeks back, a few of them disguised themselves, shaved a dwarf, filmed it, and sent it to everyone on campus. It was absolutely mortifying. The guy was in my economics classes. Nobody has seen him since that video came out.

Anyway, back to my story. I was in the Belt and I realized that I was running out of gas. Not the "Oh, I need to pull over in half an hour" way, either. I needed gas within about ten miles or the car was going to stop.

For the sake of the thread I think it should be modern earth but suddenly fantasy races the whole world and no-one really minds.

>>6931109
Someone will bring up the "white and black are too busy ganging up on green" quote. tbh I think human-human racism would still exist, but would be considered different from species racism.

>>6931109
It probably exists but it isn't very potent. Most racist organizations don't care about skin color.

>>6930936

"Hey, Mak! You sleep in the server room again?"

"I don't sleep, Jerrik. You know that. I was here the whole time, even when you were looking up *makes quote air signs* "Big Booty Centaurs."

"I totally don't do that, bro. He's lying."

"I don't lie, either, Jerrik."

"We all know you look up porn at work, man."

"Well then fuck you guys."

>>6931146
The one that sticks in my head from whatever edition of Shadowrun was being published when I was into it was "Who cares what color the bus driver's skin is when that THING over there has hands the size of your head?"

>>6929518

This.

>>6931058
A lot of missing persons wind up in fetish videos on the internet...

>>6931155
>most racist organizations don't care about skin color?


WHAT?

>>6931184
Yes, lots of fetishes are going to go from creepy and impossible to illegal and very possible. Can we move on?

>>6931198
Between humans... in this fictional setting we're talking about.

Ya know. This smells an awfully like U.S.

>>6931224
How so?

>>6931240
Unified Setting, not the Country.

Now i wanna hear some dwarven metal.

>>6931255
Oh, right.

>>6931127
Cont

So, against all of my better judgment, I pulled over at a gas station to fill up. Put on a heavy coat, made sure that my hat was down and hiding my ears, covered my eyes, everything. I got out and swiped my debit card. It was accepted. I don't know why, but I had been expecting them to reject it. I turned around and started pumping gas, and I leaned back against the car to wait it out. While I'm standing there, this woman and her kid come out of the building. The kid had a candy bar, the woman just looked...harried. Like a lot of mothers, I guess. Anyway, this kid looks straight at me and says, "Look, momma, it's an elf!" Now, this gas station is busy. Twelve pumps, and a car at every one of them. Every single head snaps around and every single one of them is staring at me. I don't know how the kid spotted me, but...he did, that's what matters. The guy across from me had just started pumping when the kid yelled it. He stopped pumping gas, said something about the place being a respectable establishment and left. Everyone else kept staring at me when they weren't watching their cars. It probably only took a few minutes to fill up, but it felt like I was standing there for hours. Right as I'm just about done, an old man just ahead of me started walking back. I knew it was going to be bad, but I didn't want to make a scene.

>>6931127
Can this have a good end. please?

>>6931127
Moar?

>>6931255
i don't see it

>>6931278
Cont


"Hey, point ears," he said, loud enough that everyone heard it. "Hey, look at me you tree huggin' freak. Or don't they teach yer kind any respect?" I shouldn't have done it, but I snapped. "Listen, sir." I kinda spat it at him, he looked a little shocked. "I'd show you respect if you'd show it to me first."

Well, then I was fucked. This old guy then spent about ten minutes swearing at me. He said that non-humans were like a cancer, something that we started out good but eventually turned bad on the humans. I wasn't really listening to him, though. I was doing everything that I could to separate my mind from the situation, to not take in his hate. When he finally turned away, I got in my car, took off my hat and skull cap, and just started driving. When I hit the edge of town, I was more mad than I had ever been. I couldn't think anything but how ignorant all of those people were, how plainly hateful they were.

The rest of the drive was pretty much a blur. I'm surprised that I didn't get pulled over for speeding, but I guess that I just got lucky.

Maaaaaaaaaan, just the other day I was dating a pair of pixie twins. Mom was absolutely scandalized, but Dad just clapped me on the back and started telling me a story about how back in 'Nam, he had a fling with a Laotian Aasimar before they were separated. How do I convince Mom to get over it already?

>>6931305
Reminds me of District 9.

Eh, people would probably vary. There are places in Indiana a black girl I knew felt incredibly unsafe. Friends who've been to London talk about neighborhoods run Islamic immigrants and they claim white people disappear there.
I live in a pretty tolerant city with a weirdly compatible emphasis on being PC and on being individual. It kinda works; Elves and Dwarves and such would be welcome as anyone.
That said, this isn't a great city to be black in. It's weird how the prejudices end up; Asians, fine. Mexicans, Hispanics, S. Americans -no one cares. Downtown no one cares much about the 10 bazillion flavors of exchange student milling about.
But the black folks get watched. Orks would probably be in the same boat.

>>6931156

"I got some mail, herr! Muthafuckaz need ta make deez doors wider!"

"Sup, Davym?"

"Yo yo, check this. I gotta new horn engravin'."

"Does that say... Lakeesh?"

"Yeah, that's mah calf-mama. That's love... fo' eva."

"Yo, I'mma check ya'll latta. I gotta pay da bills before the squid gets a bull down, nah mean?"

>>6930323
Ohgodyes. Corporate dragon bosses. Its like Eberron made waaay cooler. FFFFF I AM SO INSPIRED BY THIS CONCEPT, GOING TO DRAWFAG IT- CHECK BACK TOMORROW.

>>6931360
Oh go fucking figure the Mind Flayers are the white people.

>>6931305
By the time that I got home, I wasn't mad any more. Like I said earlier, getting mad is a waste of time and effort. I can't change the fact that I'm an elf and that old fucker couldn't change the fact that, well, he was an ignorant, xenophobic old prick.

Anyway, I wasn't mad. I was just ashamed. Ashamed of the fact that I was different. Ashamed of the fact that I had snapped at this guy. Really, just...ashamed of what I was. I shouldn't have done it, but for the first time I actually hated myself for being an elf. A whole life of name calling and insults, and now all it took was this one old man to make me hate myself.

Fuck.

Something to consider: Human "races" are mostly the result of isolation. We need that same isolation to keep the different fantasy species intact, so in a setting like this, humans have to have taken up a much smaller part of the world until recently.

Take all of modern human global diversity, move it into an area the size of europe and turn back the clock 500 years, then let it catch up to today. Most of the human racism we see wouldn't exist in this setting, but if global expansion is recent there's plenty of room for species racism.

You don't really see people of Saxon descent being racist towards Normans because almost no one can trace their accessory back far enough to tell, and if they can there isn't a noticeable difference in appearance.

My sister was back in town for Thanksgiving and took my car for the day. This wasn't a problem until, while I was working on my film project after school- the f*cking teacher gave us a stupid short deadline and half the class had to stay after- The cherry half-elf chick, Sam, asked me for a ride home. "Sure!" I replied instantly, but as soon as I did, I remembered. "Aww crap, sorry..." I explained the situation to her, gritting my teeth. (contd)

>>6931414
...and then you got high?

>>6931364

Protip: Play Shadowrun. One of the megacorps is owned by a great dragon. You guys all seem to think these are new ideas...

>>6931372

I'm not making anybody a racial analog, here. I see it as the other races filtering into human society, absorbing their cultures and modifying them into their individual contexts so that you can have a judaic elf family or a minotaur who speak with urban slang and uses street mannerisms. That doesn't make them black or what or mexican. The "squid" in question is just their particular boss, who they see as a slave driver. Many races fill the slot among the socially elite, not just Mindflayers.

>>6931440
>accessory
Ancestry, dammit.

>>6931414
Cont

As soon as I walked in the door, my mom knew something was wrong. She's always been like that, though. Whenever I'm in an off mood, she can sense it before she can see me. Without saying anything, she came up to me to give me a hug. I stopped her before she could get to me and...

I have never seen her look more heartbroken. I was hurting, she knew it, and she knew that I knew. That look was gone pretty quickly, though. She just smiled and patted my arm lightly. "Dinner will be ready in half an hour," she said quietly, trying not to cry. Disappointed in myself again, I went out the back door.

Now would be a good time to say this, I guess. My dad is not my birth father. He was a fireman. One of the first elves in the area to become a fireman at that. Ironically, he died in a fire set as a "warning" to a dwarven family. My current "dad" is human. He himself is a great guy. The most open minded human that I have ever met, and evidenced by the fact that he loved my mom and loved me.

Dave, my step-dad, was in the back by the timber, splitting logs to burn for the holiday. He looked up with a smile and waved, but the best that I could return was a shrug. He knew that something was up and sat down on a log, motioning for me to join him. "So," he said, "I'm going to guess that you hit some trouble on the way home."

So I went into everything and explained it all. Somewhere in the middle, I just...I broke down. I started talking about how ashamed I felt all of a sudden to be what I was. If he hadn't stopped me, it would have gone a lot farther than that.

>>6931360
I bet you're white and from the suburbs

>>6931483
Cont


"Listen, son," he said, putting his hands on my shoulders. "There are idiots in the world. Every sentient being has done something stupid at least once. Some people just have it bred into them a bit more than others, and they're stupid in ways are hard to get around. Your father knew that, but he knew that people are inherently flawed and always deserve another chance."

When he brought up my dad, I lost it. I started crying, I'll admit it. He brought me into a hug and let me get it off of my chest, not saying anything. After a few minutes, once I was done, he just smiled.

"So take this as a note: How hard must it be to be so full of hate that you can't go through a day without disrespecting someone for their heritage?" He patted my shoulder and flicked my ear lightly. "Be proud of those."

>>6931443

She looked almost as disappointed as I did, so I figured that was a good sign for later. She promised to blink (maaagic texting) me later and grabbed a ride with the only other human guy in the class. I finished all the work I felt like doing and walked out of the class room. Luckily, I only lived maybe 5 minutes away by foot, so I zipped up my jacket and headed for the door. Oh shit. Johhny and his crew were loitering in the commons. Johnny Dermott was a high-elf and made sure everyone knew it. The guy ran with a crew of sycophants that seemed to change weekly- today it was a teefling, some thuggish halfling and wannabelf (wanna-be elf: humans that act like elves). I kept my head low and headed for the door. (contd)

>>6931486

It was just a joke to half introduce their Illithid boss. You guys are taking this shit way too seriously.

>>6931520
You might as well have had the minotaur say
"Lawdy, Massa iz gone be mad when he see I done left the field but damn if I don't love me sum watermellons!"

>>6931506
(lots of writefaggotry :D)
I was almost there when suddenly- "Hey! Humie!"
Gods damnit. I kept walking past them and opened the door, hoping they wouldn't follow. Of course, they did. "I'm talking to you, Human. Don't turn you back on your betters!". Betters. What an idiot. I'm a year older and 5 inches taller than this pointy eared fop and he has the nerve to talk to me like that. I made it out into the parking lot before the taunting became too much to ignore. I grabbed my backpack and shifted it to my front so I could retrieve my gauntlet and put it on. I turned to face them, not hiding the fact that I had it on.

>>6931462
so you actually think people talk that way?

>>6931574

Did I use unauthentic slang, there? Do they all have to be well spoken?

It's not like there aren't people who talk like that... OF VARYING RACES AND SKIN COLORS.

I was simply making an example of how the inhuman races assimilated human culture.

What if we just woke up tomorrow with magic refugees from a dieing plain of existence?

>>6931619
I have several classes with black people who DO talk like that.
I thought it was a joke... but so far they've talked like that the entire semester.

>>6931654
Lucky them, I guess. Better hope Tongues still works.
After that? Politicizing, fetishizing, ostracizing, the works.

>>6931654
They'd like be treated like other refugees. Put away into individual camps and treated like shit until we get our priorities straight. Then, assuming that they've got a handle on inter-planar travel, we'd make sure that they ship out to another plane of existence where we aren't.

>>6931619

From my experience of four years in an inner city highschool, yes, SOME people do talk like that.

>>6931577

The tiefling spoke first, "big man pulling that shit out. Like we're scared, we can play that game too." He flicked a folding knife from his waistband and waved it around like an amateur.
"What the fuck is your guys' problem?" I shot back.
"You are, fuckin' humie" Said the Wannabelf.
"Shut up, Kevin, there's no magic anywhere in your family and no matter how much elf semen you drink, thats not going to change." I spat.
"Shut the fuck up!" he roared, and charged at me. I raised my armored hand and flicked my wrist. The binding circle appeared beneath his left foot, gluing it to the ground and making him stumble. "You can't use magic here, you fucker!" He screamed.
"Shut up, Kevin." Said Johnny, forcefully. (contd)

>>6931702
Yeah, man. Some people do speak like that. White, Black, Spanish, Asian, it doesn't matter. If they want to fit in among a lot of the gangstas, all of them adopt that recently popular manner of speaking. It's horrific, and degrading to themselves, and I have to make a high-difficulty will test not to laugh whenever anyone starts talking like that.

>>6931577
So snobs/jocks aren't just the normal variety anymore, now there are ELVEN SNOBS?!?!?

>>6931702

Calm down, man. You're being WAAAY too PC. If you happen to be black, I apologize for possibly offending you and if not then I don't see why you're so bent out of shape about a harmless use of slang especially since there is not designation of race other than Minotaur and only this particular individual, so far.

>>6931710
Ok, this is turning into a racial discussion, like I knew it would. I'll stop writing and offer my 2c before I leave. I am a senior at a high school in Kansas City where I, being white, am in the minority. The vernacular of most of the students at my school, regardless of race, is not far off from that minotaur's. Thats the long-short of it. The majority of people in underprivileged areas speak in their own dialect that, while it looks retarded when its spelled out, serves just fine when spoken. to think otherwise is naive and suggest to me that YOU are in fact a suburbanite.

>>6931654 See: >>6931323

>>6931758
Pff, you resist? My test is usually to see if I even -try- to contain myself.

>>6931783

I really didn't mean for this to happen. I was trying to show how individuals of the different races try to include themselves in human society. It was more about personality, like how Jerrik is the annoyingly meatheaded horndog and one step away from fratboy. Davym was supposed to represent this imposing looking figure who speaks so casually and out of style with his physical looks; a gentle giant of sorts. I was not expecting to be pegged for a racist on this topic of all things.

>>6931935
I wanted to finish my story damnit! I was going to summon a golem to fight the asshole elf!

>>6931935
Oi. As a fratboy, I can tell you that we're not like that.
In public.

>>6931935
Yeeeeah, I shoulda, (but didn't) seen it coming. Sorry about that... I liked the chatter about ideas around D&D Modern. (I like anything I can talk about gnolls in.)

>>6931984

Then continue, by all means. I'm probably going to stop writing for now and go to bed.

>>6931984

then finish it, what's the problem?

What would music of the various races be like?

Warforged would be TECHNO GODS

So... a thread about multiple intelligent species coexisting in modern society is derailed because of one human claims another is being racist.

Delicious irony. It warms my soul.

ALL of you are racist!
Why should the other Humanoids HAVE to integrate with OUR (human's) Society?
Why aren't WE integrating with THEIRS?!

>>6932091
Because we're superior, ob
...Oh. Damn it.

>>6932091

Because humans are better.

>>6932091
Well, if it makes you feel any better, most of /tg/ is perfectly integrated into troll society.

>>6932091
Because its easier to theorize. Do You think like a Gnoll? If you think you do then you're a furry!

>>6932113
Or a mass murderer. Take your pick.

I just had a thought:

Consider that humans probably would have committed genocide on several of the more dangerous sentient races,the ones they deemed would "never be safe to interact with humans". Chances are there might be, in the modern day, small tribes of them remaining in the wilderness here and there.

Corp's like Blackwater kidnap the children and raise them as Merc's in place of any kind of supersoldier project.

we already know what troll music is like.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKz5rrlZdUU

dwarfs:


THE NORTH WILL RISE AGAIN!


Bunch of long bearded dudes who lost a big war against the southern human nation. Kind of backwards and early-industrial.

>>6932037
Dwarves like percussion, and wind instruments. Most of their instruments require the player to be seated, similar to pianos. Dwarves are just now discovering rock & roll, because they're sticklers for tradition. They do it ten times better than we ever did.

Elves love wind instruments. The Grand Elvish Orchestra is mostly flutes, sectioned by materials (wooden flutes don't sound like metal flutes or ceramic flutes) rather than instrument. Most serious performances last more than a day, but the commercial stuff is like JPOP. Mainstream elvish pop stars/lets are loved by everyone but the elves, who see them as cultural traitors.

Gnomic instruments are run by clockwork, and all performers are one man bands.

Traditional Orc music is either sword-on-shield or sword-on-sword. In the last hundred years, they've been steadily moving away from telling/retelling myths and legends, and are getting the hang of clever lyrics and simile.

Halflings music is mostly about drinking, getting high, or having babies. All the instruments are based on improvised bar-room stuff. It sounds a lot like country music & Irish drinking songs combined.

Warforged 'music' is a lot of energy and sound, but few lyrics. Typically they either shout something at the start and at the end, with just music between. Occasionally, they repeat the same words at intervals. It sounded like techno long before we had synthesizers.

>>6932273
I would totally listen to the Warforged, Orcish, and Dwarven musics. In that order. MAYBE elven classical. Maybe.

fucking knife ears

>>6932273
Can Jimmy Buffet be a halfling?

Considering that not only do the races look different but also have different lifespans, affinities, etc... even without magical assistance it would be difficult to 'fit in' to another race...

As far as humans go, what another poster said was true: for this event to occur the other races would need to have their own established communities.

If those communities were just suddenly interrupted by a deluge of new races, then humans would probably expect them to assimilate. Those who don't would be looked down upon. No doubt there'd be racism, it exists in EVERY SETTING IN TABLETOP EXISTENCE by stereotyping.

Whenever I look at a picture of, say, an Orc... or a Werewolf... or an Illithid, even if I don't feel that way if I think about it, my gut reaction is 'evil' and 'fucking run'. Sadly, I have a similar feeling around black people, even though I have nothing against them.

Same with the 'brighter' races such as elves/gnomes/centaurs. They seem more 'human-like' and for some reason the pictures shown in the Monster Manuals show them as valiant, not bloodthirsty... good, not evil. Even the example creatures tend to be Good/Evil appropriately.

This needs to become a roleplay.

>>6930493
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magical_realism

>>6932273
Gnolls aren't usually allowed to perform publicly. Mostly because the band members tend to attack the audience or vice versa. Ozzy Ozbourne in his heyday described a Gnollish performance as 'needlessly violent and excessive'. The favored musical instrument is the tortured pig. That's not a literal translation of a cultural instrument's name, it's literally a pig being tortured. The advent of electric instruments has introduced the world to the shocked rabbit. Again, literally a rabbit being electrocuted.

Kobolds play the blues, on instruments poorly rebuilt from broken ones. One industrious dwarven stagehand repaired Cloudy-scale Mrrkep's saxophone prior to a Tonight Show appearance. The kobold prodigy was found in a supply closet, driving nails into his own ears to deafen himself and lamenting the lost soul of his now 'dead' instrument.

Minotaurs play guitars, and drums, and guitars, and drums. The average band has at least four drummers. Most of the songs are performed during ritual combat, with the vocalists arguing over the subject matter.

>>6932484
JUST AS PREDICTED: GNOLLISH 'MUSIC' WOULD BE NIGH UNLISTENABLE.

Minotaur music sounds fun though.

>>6932484

Can you do one for elementals and oozes?

>>6932273
Being who i am i immediately thought "what would metal made by each of these guys sound like?" and i came to some instantaneous conclusions.
Elven metal wouldn't really come all that close to metal, it would probably have some of the same flavors of the trans Siberian orchestra.
Dwarves would make the best mettleheads. but i can see both dwarven metal and traditional music having allot of brass.
Orc metal would probably be a cross between finntroll and manowar.
warforged? this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itZWNqox8xM

I did my Sociology final paper on Race relations in the Dungeons and Dragons universe. Mostly about the Drow, Duergar, Svirfneblin; the underground races.

>>6932335
might work.

>>6932579
did you get a good grade on it?

>>6932624
Better question:

Was it an oral presentation in front of the class.

>>6932624
Passed the class.

>>6932650
Also yes.

>>6932746
Nice. was it well recived by your classmates?

>>6932795
I wasn't beaten up after class if that's what you're asking. I got a few questions, but none of them were about D&D. Mostly they were about racism in general or my research. I don't think anyone even knew what a Drow was, except my professor, who was an old school player back in the day.

Why not use the traditional races from general fantasy, instead of focusing on DnD? I mean, other settings often have more believable races anyway, where the difference between an elf and a human is more than ear length and lifespan.

>>6932995
Because It didn't matter if they took to heart what I talked about. My ultimate goal for the assignment was to complete it, and I knew that I would accomplish that if I was able to talk about something I know a lot about and am interested in.

i love this tread! it got me so in the mood for shadowrun or if i don't wanna sad setting d20 modern urban arcana.

>>6932947
I was more asking about weather or not people got hung up on the fact that it had to do with DnD.

sounds like a kick ass class.

I believe just about every race would exist, and be cultured in some part. Just as you still have native man living in the far off places of the world, so to you would still have pockets of mythical beings here and there.

Kobolds: The lizard rat to the uninformed, these creatures are actually highly industrist, highly magical, and the favored servants of the strongest creature, the dragon. I could see these crafty little shits getting jobs in mining and industry. Working along side dwarfs as they hollow out mountains. Their skills with traps can easily be turned to less lethal machines, being small they can create some pretty delicate machinery. You would still have the sewer dwelling savages, but they would be like packs of wild dogs, hunted down ever so often.

Goblinoids: I would see goblins being wiped out, their stupidity and small frames leading to their demise. Hobgoblins, being smarter, stronger, and more apt at creating cultures of their own, would be city states at start, warring with humanity and the other humanoid races, but after a long enough time, they would be absorbed and live like any Joe Blow. Bugbears would be cheap labor, and good for brutal sports.

Orcs: A bit dim, but still capable to form society. They would be more of raiders in the early years, but as time progressed they would eventually be tamed for a most part. Terrorist actions by those who "Remember the glory days" might happen, but for the most part they intergrate.

Ogres/Giants/Trolls: Strong, dumb, and hungry, I see them filling the roll of back room stockers, burger flippers, and other menial jobs. Just let a troll work at your fast food joint, and you don't need to pay him as much, he takes part of his pay in whatever gets thrown out. Sports, oh yes.

Dwarves: Jews. All I gotta say. They love money, have money, and are willing to let you take a loan. But be sure to pay them back, or it's your knee caps.

Gnomes/Halflings: House keeping!

I think halflings would be popular in japan.

>>6933410
Kawaii!

>>6933438
>>6933438
Real chibis. Fake lolis
The works

For no good reason, I always imagine Gnome women as being large chested. I think it's because I have a breast fetish, but I don't know why I ascribed that to Gnomes as opposed to any other race.

>>6932388
I'm not sure you understand what magical realism is.

Archive for excellent ideas?

>>6933683
This

Marquez is...well, he's strange, but he's very, very good.

>>6932559
Elementals and oozes are neither intelligent or coordinated enough to use instruments, and they lack both lungs and vocal chords.

If they did, I'm sure it would sound like whalesong.

Are there ooze-people? What would be our reaction to 'liquid-Americans'?

If I ever start a band, that's their name.
The Liquid Americans.

>>6935490

My reaction to Ooze women: Waifu.