>>7056624
Submit to hot zombie dickings

>>7056624
Stop starting quests

dude fuck
use his own weight against him and pull him past us into the shower.
look for the wuiest way to kill ourselves, if we just had sex with a zombie, we are probably infected.

>>7056624
A FEMALE protagonist? PREPOSTEROUS.

That said, try to edge around him if he's going slowly; throw ourselves at his legs to try and knock him off balance if he is moving relatively quickly.

>>7056663
Good point. Did we actually have sex with zombie dude, or did we just think we did?

WE ARE CARRYING A ZOMBIE SEED.

FIND KNIFE, EXCAVATE OUR WOMB AREA.

You guys don't even know if it's a zombie. All you know is that some crazy person is in the bathroom with you. Just roll with it.

>>7056681
After waking up more in the shower, you vaguely recalled getting home, along with some heavy petting; however, you couldn't recall actually having sex with the random guy.

>>7056669
>>7056663
Using a combination of these, you pull the random guy past you into the shower, tripping him and sending him falling into the shower while you edge past him. His head slammed against the shower wall, and his neck is now at an awkward angle.

You are now in the center of the bathroom, and the zombie is inside of your walk-in shower.

>>7056669
What's wrong with being gay and having friends who are girls? Or polygamy for that matter?

>>7056725
Get out of the bathroom and call the Police, blocking the bathroom door with your mass as you huddle with your phone.

>>7056683
>WE ARE CARRYING A ZOMBIE SEED

>THAT IS FUCKING AWESOME

fixd

>>7056725
Well, I guess that answers whether or not it's a zombie. Although, maybe we're just assuming it's a zombie because his neck is at an odd angle.

What's in the bathroom? Anything with any heft to it nearby? Does the shower have a door we can close?

Call the cops. Also, since we're a young, single, modern-day woman, is it fair to assume we have some form of self-defense?

>Implying fa/tg/uys wouldn't respond to a "you are a girl" thread with anything other than "lolrape"

>>7056755
The shower does not have a door. It has a shower curtain, which is now pulled to the side.

As for things with heft, there are none which have any significant weight behind them.

>>7056752
Getting out of the bathroom while the random guy is shuffling towards you again, you shut the door and place a low table in front of the door.

You get a hold of the phone while holding the door against the random guy as he pounds against the door, but all you can get is a busy signal.

>>7056792
You have a Can of Pepper Spray in your purse, but other than that, you do not have anything which is purposefully a weapon. You also have various items around your apartment which may be serviceable as weapons.

>>7056792
Don't call the cops. If the zombie's neck is at an odd angle, he might be dead, and since we aren't injured in any way, it would be hard to make a case for self defense.

Being in jail sucks, especially if the zombie appocalypse is about to start.

>>7056883
Uh... About that, buddy...

Right... hadn't seen that latest update... ARGH! ZOMBIES!

>>7056863
Get a knife from the kitchen. Call up some friends and family.

Draw my carry gun, fire. Problem. Solved.

>>7056863
What are these "other items" we have that can be weapons?

>>7056933
Among them are

-Various odds and ends from your kitchen
-An aluminum baseball bat
-A tennis racket

>>7056969

Take bat.

Ensure all windows are closed, blinds drawn, and doors locked. Get dressed in rugged clothing. Have Pepper Spray, sheathed knife, and normal hammer on hand.

Get Zombie Survival Guide from the bookshelf, we're a big fan after all. (Honestly, I want to see a story where everyone knows that zombies are zombies and thinks that they're ready for the idea.)

>>7056986
ZSG is utter shit.

>>7056969
>>7056863
An ALUMINUM bat? Typical WOMAN; a PURIST would have used a Wooden Bat!

Grab the Pepper Spray, the Bat, and call friends/family like >>7056916 suggested.

>>7056994

>>7056986
>>here

I agree. However, that doesn't stop a lot of people from putting blind faith into its suggestions. Would be an interesting way to get this rolling.

>>7056725
>and the zombie is inside of your walk-in shower.
Seeing how my bathroom is 1.50m square, you can barely stand up in and out of the shower, I don't see that happening.

Grab heavy object.

If possessing pipe, close one end firmly somehow (I suggest duct tape), fill it with hairspray, put a fuse in (excess hair will work) and find shrapnel.

Whala, single-shot mega-shotgun. Good for destroying a small group of zeds, and seriously hampering a large group. Plus, it gives us a long-range weapon, something we lack.

>>7057014
>complaining about logistical inconsistencies in a quest thread about ZOMBIES

FUCK THIS SHIT.
YOU ARE SITTING IN YOUR CHAIR WITH A PBR IN YOUR HAND, WATCHING AN EPISODE OF BLACK BOOKS THAT YOU JUST TORRENTED OFF THE INTERNET ON YOUR LARGE, HI-DEFINITION COMPUTER SCREEN WHEN YOU HEAR THE SIGNS OF A STRUGGLE COMING FROM NEXT DOOR. YOU KNOW THAT YOUR ATTRACTIVE FEMALE NEIGHBOR IS PRONE TO TAKING MEN INSIDE HER APARTMENT AFTER OUTINGS WITH HER FABULOUSLY DRESSED FRIENDS.

AMONGST YOUR SURROUNDINGS ARE A DVD BOXSET OF THE FIRST SEASON OF STAR-TREK, YOUR PS3/XBOX 360, AND A PROP SWORD FROM "XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS" THAT YOU PAID SEVENTY DOLLARS FOR.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

>>7057022
>>Good for blowing only our hands off, if we're lucky
>>Long ranged weapon my ass

And yes, I am familiar with the concept that you proposed and with the creation of zip guns, but some woman who doesn't have any firearms experience is going to kill herself.

>>7057042
I TAKE THE PS3 AND HEAD OVER TO INVESTIGATE. ITS BRICK-LIKE NATURE WILL PROVE AN EFFECTIVE BLUNT OBJECT WEAPON, REQUIRING LESS SKILL TO USE THAN A CHEAPASS FAKE SWORD. ALSO AS A PS3 I WILL NOT MISS IT SHOULD IT BREAK.

>>7057042
I ignore it, they're probably just having kinky sex or something.

>>7057042
>>7057072

Get my binoculars and attempt to watch said kinky sex.

>>7057042
WELL? CONTINUE.

>>7057070

YOU DECIDE AGAINST TAKING YOUR PS3 OVER TO YOUR NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE AS MOST GIRLS ARE NOT A BIG FAN OF IT'S INTENSE GRAPHIX.

>>7057086

YOU DO NOT OWN A PAIR OF BINOCULARS. DO YOU LOOK LIKE A BIRD WATCHER? OF COURSE NOT.

>>7057072

YOU DECIDE TO IGNORE WHATEVER HI-JINKS MAY BE HAPPENING IN THE APARTMENT NEXT TO YOU. YOU TAKE ANOTHER SIP FROM YOUR PBR AND CONTINUE WATCHING TORRENTED TELEVISION SHOWS.

THERE IS A KNOCK AT YOUR DOOR.

>>7056984
>>7056995
You grab the Aluminum Bat out of your closet and the Pepper Spray out of your purse on the night stand. The door to the bathroom is still rattling, but so far it looks like the random guy can't get out.

>>7056986
The closest you have to rugged clothing is your hiking gear and your snow gear. You do not have a copy of the Zombie Survival Guide, though you knew a friend when you were younger who swore by it.

As you close the curtains, you look down and see that the normally busy thouroughfare that is outside your apartment is unusually quiet; there are no pedestrians, and only one or two cars going by.

>>7057022
You have various heavy objects, but you do not have a pipe.

>>7056995
You call Rachel, one of the friends you went out with last night. However, all you get when you call her is her voicemail. Calling your parents, you get the same result. Finally, you call Jillian, the other friend you went out with last night, and get an answer.

"jesuschristkeepitdowntheycanhearme." she whispers frantically and furiously

You whisper to Jillian:

"Who can hear you? What's going on, Jill?"

"I don't know. One of them's that guy I brought home last ni-"

Jillian pauses, and you can hear a loud creak over the phone before she continues.

"...last night. I woke up today and after I got ready, I went down to make some breakfast, and my neighbor was in the kitchen with blood on his hands. I backed away, but the guy I met last night was behind me, and I had to run. I'm in the attic of my house right now."

>>7057140
Tell Jillian to keep her shit together and that we're on our way.

What do we remember about this friend who swore by the ZSG? Does the person live nearby?

>>7057140
The plot thickens...

Maybe our protagonist and her friends went to a zombie bar? :O

>>7057139
PROBABLY THE WRONG DOOR. I CONTINUE TO WATCH MY TORRENTED SHOW AND HOPE THEY GO AWAY.

>>7057140
Hiking clothing then.

Also grab the hammer. Everyone owns one.

>>7057213
>>7057168
You put on your hiking clothes, which consists of knee-length cargo shorts, a long-sleeve shirt, and a sun visor. While doing so, you tell Jillian to calm down, telling her to lay low and that you'll try and get to her house. Jillian lives fifteen blocks away.

You have a hammer; however, it is downstairs, in your carport. Inside your apartment, you only have a rubber mallet.

The friend wasn't all that close; you knew him as Jason while you went to college, and you were both in the same Psychology 101 class together. The last time you saw Jason was two weeks ago, when he was working at the Quiznos four blocks from your home.

Jason was always a bit strange... And he tried to get you to join his "roleplaying" group one time after a particularly long study session. You remember him because he helped you pass your Psych Mid-Term.

What kind of heavy objects do we own?

>*ring*...*ring*...*ring*...*ring*...*ring*...


BANANA PHONE!

>>7057277
>tried to get you to join his "roleplaying" group
...I predict that Jason is a fa/tg/uy.

>>7057291

I've got this feeling
So appealing
For us to get together and sing
SING!

>>7057048
Actually, I was thinking more potato gun.

WOOHOO, REDNECKIA

>>7057277
knee-length cargo shorts
JEANS! GOD DAMMIT! WHY DO THEY ALWAYS WEAR SHORTS IN ZOMBIE-MOVIES?

>>7057340
We could, you know ASK to put on jeans instead. Cargo shorts seem reasonable for hiking.

I vote we put on Pants instead of Shorts. Preferably not too loose, and just tight enough that it won't flap or leave enough for something to grab onto.

>>7057340
This. Put on some full length pants that aren't going to tear at the first bite.

Why you would even have shorts be the interpreted option is beyond comprehension.

>>7057363
>>7057356
>>7057340
Reconsidering your choice, you opt to remove your Hiking Shorts and instead put on a pair of Denim Jeans. The Jeans are serviceable, though they are a tad thin. They may hold up, but will probably tear under a prolonged assault.

You hear a louder thump and a sharp crack from the bathroom door. The random guy has apparently begun striking the door harder.

>>7057406
I say we book it and leave random dood trapped in the bathroom. Question is, do we go for Jillian, Jason, or something else?

I think we should go down to that carport and grab a REAL hammer, then go for Jillian; We KNOW where she lives, but we only know where Jason works.

Oh, and we should knock on our neighbor's door as we pass.

Oh, so related.

>>7057406
As we make our way to our car, let's get jason on the phone.

hooray! I finally get to be the (not so) little girl!

Did zombies get everyone ITT?

NEW STD SWEEPS PLANET. ALL WOMEN GET CUNT ROT. ALL MEN BECOME ZOMBIES.

>>7057748
Fa/tg/uy virgins and plague ridden women inherit the earth? Any time straight sex happens, the women has a chance to get preggers, the man will become a zombie either way.

Buttsex and artifical insemination just became the top two favorite events in the new world. Right above killing zombies

(Had to go bring my plants in. Don't want them dying from frost overnight.)

>>7057473
Unfortunately, you do not have Jason's current number; all you have is his old number, which is three years old. Do you still want to attempt calling him?

>>7057455
You head down to the Carport, toting your Aluminum Bat and Pepper Spray. As you pass by your neighbor's door, you knock, though he doesn't answer. You can faintly here what sounds like a Television inside the apartment.

>>7057830 Television

Get away, he's being zombified too!

>>7057845
dohoho

Think he was referencing the troll quest, which was >>7057042 and >>7057139

,

>>7057845
Zombified, by the amazingness of Blacks books.. bust that shit open.. If theres one thing you need, it's the entire torrented collection of this holy grail.

>>7057898
plus, if he's a real man, he'll have a hammer

>>7057898
Irked by the fact that your neighbor did not answer the door, you irrationally slam your bat against his door in frustration,

Your bat actually manages to make a sizeable hole in the door, and you can see into the room. Your neighbor, startled, gets up from his chair; he is wearing boxers, a stained t-shirt with a picture of Godzilla on it, and his penis is hanging out of his boxers. On a nearby computer screen, the internet is open, and it appears that your neighbor was browsing a message board.

A nearby T.V. is playing a re-run of Xena, Warrior Princess.

Looking at you angrily, your neighbor yells at you and throws his empty can of beer at the door.

"WHAT THE FUCK, BITCH? WHY'D YOU MAKE A HOLE IN MY GODDAMN DOOR?"

>>7057979
>"WHAT THE FUCK, BITCH? WHY'D YOU MAKE A HOLE IN MY GODDAMN DOOR?"
This just got very interesting. Very interesting indeed...

(Are we going to have the first /tg/ co-op quest?)

>>7057979
>browsing a message board
>penis out
>Xena, Warrior Princess playing

My god... Our neighbor was not only fappin', but he may be a goddamn fa/tg/uy.

>>7058007
(I believe Mitchell is actually gone for the time being, so unless somebody wants to take up his half of the quest, I'm just giving him a cameo.)

>>7057979
Look at his penis in a disdainful, mocking way, and say "Ufufufufu, so small!"

>>7058012
Well that's a relief. We don't need to fill him in on recent events if he's been here the whole time.

>>7057979
"Why don't you try answering the goddamn door when I knock?"

Then, >>7058046, except say "And put that thing back inside your pants!"

>>7057979
ALRIGHT, FAGGOTS, I'M TAKING MITCHELL'S PLACE, SO SIT DOWN, CAUSE SHIT JUST GOT REAL.

NOW, HERE WE ARE, JUST FAPPING AWAY AND BROWSING /tg/, WHEN SOME CRAZY BITCH BUSTS DOWN OUR GODDAMN DOOR INSTEAD OF BEING IN THE KITCHEN LIKE SHE SHOULD BE.

WE FINISHED OUR PBR EARLIER, SO WE THROW THE CAN AT THE DOOR AND YELL AT THE BITCH.

WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

>>7058110
WHAT IS THIS BITCH'S PROBLEM, MAN

Let's put our penis away so she'll quit smirking. Play it off like it just fell out while we were distracted.

>>7058110
Take our PS3 and chuck it at her; maybe it'll knock her out and we can have delicious raep!

>>7058110
TAKE FAKE SWORD

CHARGE, POWER ATTACK, SHOCK TROOPER

explain to him the fucking zombie apocalypse is upon us
like in the movies the pretty girl needs the nerdy guys expertise from all the zombie moves hes watched.
unlke in the movies however we will not be performing any sexual favours.

>>7058124
ALRIGHT, WE PUT OUR PENIS AWAY, because /tg/ has become semi-classy, despite the BITCH KNOCKING OUR DOOR DOWN.

"Oh, I just thought you'd like a free show; that PRETTY BOY you brought home last time ain't got the GODDAMN STONES THAT I HAVE.

NOW, BITCH, CARE TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU KNOCKED DOWN MY FUCKING DOOR?"

>>7058149
And really we're just trying to collect a meat shield that will be minimally dangerous when it gets zombified.

>>7058110
Put dick back in pants. Slap woman for breaking into our goddamn apartment.

>>7057979
Quill, if you are not still around, I'm going to sleep. It's the week leading up to finals week...

>>7058149
>>7058153
"Listen, Barry, that guy I brought home last night... He tried to goddamn attack me. I think something is wrong with him. The same thing happened to my friend Jillian. Do you know what might have caused it?"

As you say this, you hear a thump and a crash from your room; it sounds like random guy may have gotten out of your bathroom.

>>7058158
Going near that SPLINTERY DOOR does not seem like a good thing for our DELICATE INDOOR SKIN.

>>7058157
of course.
but we wont actually say that.
the fact we have tits should be enough for him to help us really, hes a fucking fa/tg/uy who lives on his own and sits in his underwear watching fucking xena for gods sakes.
he also seems to have anger problems, so if we start getting on the wrong side of him we should probably let him get eaten at some point, i hate people who overeact like him.

>>7058179
"It's called DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, BITCH. THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR PICKING UP RANDOM GUYS.

Oh, and you don't KNOCK A FUCKING HOLE IN MY DOOR IF I DON'T ANSWER. You KEEP KNOCKING."

Saying that, we put on some goddamn PANTS, because fuck going around in boxer shorts.

"As soon as I get these goddamn pants up, I'm gonna CUT A BITCH."

After we get our pants up, we GRAB OUR SWORD AND CHARGE THE DOOR.

>>7058192 i hate people who overeact like him.

Yeah, what is it with nerds and spittle-laced rage? So gross.

So gross.

One good thing about a zombie boyfriend: at least he'd stay cool.

>>7058213
...I don't think we're a White Knight fa/tg/uy.

>>7058179
Say:
"Also, we're leaving."

If he asks why, just give him a list of stuff we think we'll need.

Fa/tg/uys love assertive girls.

>>7058213
oh this guy is too much, i dont think i could stand his utter idiocy.
in order to get him to stop attacking us we should explain how he aced strangely and tried to grab us, and how he looked much different.
tell him about our friend who is having similar problems with the zombies.
hopefull he will go into "nerd procrastination" mode where he will become very happy the zombies have come, and we can just leave im behind.
hes a liability and a cunt.

>>7058192
Considering we busted in his door like we were a one-woman wrecking crew, I can't say I'm surprised at his rage.

>>7058245
Considering we're a one-woman wrecking crew, he'd better fucking cool it.

>>7058233
You look dispassively at the largish man as he pulls on his pants and rants and raves at you. You jerk in surprise, however, when he reaches up and pulls out a sword.

You were NOT expecting that.

You tell him in a calm monotone as he clumsily charges at you over the piles of junk in his apartment "I'm leaving. If you can't help me, then I'll find someone who can. If you want to be alone when the crazies come to get you, that's fine with me."

After you say that, you back out into the hallway. You notice some movement at the far end of the hall, and you hear sounds of movement coming from inside your apartment.

>>7058179
Give Barry an assertive balltap with the aluminum bat, nothing crippling but enough to put some politeness into him. We might've just saved his life.

Is the door even open? I thought this whole exchange was going on through a fist-sized hole.

>>7058289
THIS bitch. Thinks she can tell US what to do, thinks we're scared of some cra-

Hold the fucking phone.

Did she say CRAZIES?

Didn't we just read a goddamn ZOMBIE THREAD in /tg/?

FUCK YEAR ZOMBIES. WE CAN WAIT ON CUTTING A BITCH, WE'VE GOT SOME ZOMBIES TO KILL

ALRIGHT, GENTLEMEN, WE'VE PREPARED FOR THIS DAY LONG AND HARD; WHAT DO WE TAKE TO SURVIVE THIS ZOMPOCALYPSE ( OTHER THAN OUR TRUSTY SWORD).

>>7058289
Brace for zombie bashing.

>>7058289
--Move to the side of the door; the charging fa/tg/uy is going to have to open the door to get to us.
--Check the far end of the hall, then position myself so that both the entrance to my apartment and the end of the hallway where the movement was noticed are directly infront of me.
--Raise bat, and maybe get in a few practice swings to warm up; the one-woman wrecking crew is about to become a one-woman genocide.

>>7058328

SOME FUCKING RESTRAINT, for starters.

Ask the fa/tg/uy to check his computer or tv for any news of local riots/outbreaks/that sort of stuff.

>>7058289
The hole is approximately half a foot across and a foot high. You really went to town on that door.

>>7058351

OH MY GOD
IF WE SAVE THIS BITCH WE MIGHT ACTUALLY GET LAID

>>7058369

He must become a hero.

So we can have the sexy times.

This thread is... strange, to say the least. I'm not sure whether I should join the FUCK YEAR crowd or the rational crowd.

Ah, screw it, I"m a fa/tg/uy.

ALRIGHT, WE'VE PREPARED FOR THIS; LET'S GET OUR ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE, OUR COMBAT KNIFE, AND OUR SHOTGUN OUT OF THE CLOSET.

DON'T FOGET THE SHELLS EITHER

use our mobile phone to call up any and all of our girlfriends, arrange a place to meet.
leave this gibbering mess of a "man" behind.

>>7058369
Going by the extensive body of lore that is the zombie genre, your role is, at best, the fat comic relief character who dies so that the girl may live.

>>7058399

HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF POST-MODERNISM

WE ARE TOTALLY ALL DECONSTRUCTIONIST IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER

GET WEAPONS TOGETHER NOW! ALSO FIND THE LOCATION OF A LOCAL ARMY SURPLUS STORE. AND GO CHANGE INTO OUR SEXIEST (LEAST STAINED) T-SHIRT.

This will be in the future. The very sexy future.

One step at a time though.

>>7058390
CAN DO

WE GET OUT OUR SHOTGUN, MAKING SURE TO POCKET SHELLS. WE ALSO GET OUR ZSG AND OUR COMBAT KNIFE TO GO WITH OUR SWORD.

WE ALSO PUT ON A LEATHER JACKET AND THICK PANTS, BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXPOSED SKIN

>>7058399
FUCK YOU, KIND SIR, WE'RE GONNA SURVIVE AND GET US SOME HOT NEIGHBOR DICKINGS

NOW, LET'S GO SAVE THAT BITCH FROM HERSELF BEFORE SHE HURTS SOMEBODY. AGREED?

>>7058390
>OUR ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE

>COMBAT KNIFE

>OUR SHOTGUN

Apparently we haven't read our zombie survival guide.

>>7058438

FIND AN ARMY SURPLUS STORE. WE NEED MRES OR OTHER EMERGENCY FOODSTUFFS. WHAT HIGH CALORIE/WEIGHT RATIO FOOD THAT ISN'T PERISHABLE DO WE HAVE ON HAND? DORITOS OR SOME SHIT?

>>7058397
You've already tried calling; Rachel didn't answer, and Jillian is pinned down in her home. Rachel lives on the opposite side of the street from Jillian, so they are both 15 blocks away.

>>7058345
You check the end of the hall, and you can see a woman shuffling up the stairs.

The woman is missing an arm.

The shuffling from inside your apartment nears your door, and now an unsteady pounding has begun at the door.

You take a few practice swings to warm up, keeping both the woman and your door in sight. The fat man hasn't made an appearance and is still in his apartment.

Quill, get back here before this tub of lard gets both characters killed.

We'd better go find the girls. Rachel could be serving up her brains right now.

no arm is good for practise, less chance of being grabbed.
crack her one on the head and see if we are good enough at this to protect ourselves.
girls, should we got for Jillian or Rachel? is Rachel safe for now? if so we should check on Jillian first.

>>7058483
Tell the fa/tg/uy to stop yelling and drawing all their attention. Then tell him to check his computer and the tv for any news on what's happening.

Then hit the armless lady before she gets past the stairs.

>>7058483

Hit her in the face and knock her down the stairs.

>this thread

ALRIGHT, FA/TG/UYS, WE calm down, because we aren't suicidal, and know that the loud people always die first in Zombie movies.

We open the door slowly and keep our Xena prop sword raised, since it is as good a blunt object as any to have.

We see hot neighbor-bitch at the top of the stairs looking like a Major Leaguer, and we hear a goddamn thumping from inside her apartment.

What do we do now, other than our current goal of finding an Army Surplus store?

every time we have a good RP thread like this it makes me wish so badly anyone i knew would run any type of game ever.
RPGs are unheard of around where i live. and im fucking loving playing this alpha bitch.
pic is what we dont want to end up like, not only is she all dirty, but she is looking after 3 other guys. screw that.

>>7058565
You notice that the fat man has left his room and seems to be fully clothed. He appears to be an overweight biker, though his new shirt does not have stains.

"Go make yourself useful and check the news; gotta figure out what's happening. And stop yelling!"

>>7058518
>>7058517
Going a bit farther down the stair-well, you take a swing at the Woman's head. The Aluminum Bat makes a satisfying, meaty smacking sound when it hits, and the woman's head hits also hits the wall. The woman slides down to the ground, blood dripping from her skull. You seem to have broken her skull.

Again, Rachel hasn't answered when you called her; Jillian is apparently trapped in her attack while her neighbor and her date from last night are roaming her house.

>>7058565

Help the woman survive. We'll need a female to propogate the species if humanity is doomed to undeath. Go along with her plans, since we don't really have any other friends to save.

>>7058632
brilliant! we seem fuly capable of breaking skulls!
while she is subdued proceed to smash her head into a fine meaty paste, making sure she is dead, all the while being careful not to get any grey matter on our expensive clothing (what are we wearing?)
head to Rachels and leave the lumbering cheeto-dust-coated arsehole behind.

>>7058565
>>7058632
Doubt watching Faux News is gonna reveal much, but wanna go try anyways, fatguys?

We can also grab more stuff while we're at it, like a better weapon than a prop sword and a shotgun. First is shitty, and the second is too goddamn loud.

>>7058632
Take a quick look at the surrounding area downstairs and then head back to our apartment door. If we can take out the guy just as easily, we might be able to get more supplies. Still have to be quick though.

Also ask the fa/tg/uy if he's got a car. On that note, do we have a car?

>>7058691

Oh! Can we set up the computer to increase volume on a timer, say, 5 minutes? Give us enough time to leave, then blast the speakers. Make the zombies think something tasty is in our now abandoned room.

>>7058676
We'll help her survive; we just KNOW hot dickings are in the future for us if we stick with her!

>>7058691
Can do. We go back and turn on the news. Nothin' but Color Bars and static; Porn seems to be fine, but we need news, not fappage.

As for more equipment, we've got lots of odds and ends; what do you want to look for?

>>7058720
While we look for things, we set up our computer to do this; we choose a video (your guy's choice) and set it to play in five minutes. The bass from our subwoofer, combined with kick-ass speakers, means we'll have the whole goddamn building shaking when it starts.

>>7058782
>hot dickings
>stick with her
dohoho, subtle fatguy is subtle.

IF WE FIND OUT WHAT HES DOING WITH THE SPEAKERS
BE SURE TO TELL HIM HE IS A FUCKING IDIOT FOR ATTRACTING HORDES OF ZOMBIES TOWARDS OUR STREET AS WE ARE GOING OUT
AND WHAT IF WE WANT TO COME HOME!?
but.. we dont know what hes doing so....
but if we do find out, give him the fucking third degree.
and run.
unless we are in heels, are we in heels? in which case power-walk.

its monday.
are we supposed to be going to work?
ring up work and see if there is an answer. id hate to get sacked just because of the zombie apocalypse.

>>7058848
You are in Hiking Clothes. That means workboots, a pair of semi-thick jeans, a plain long-sleeved shirt with on the back, and a light brown cloth sun visor.

>>7058693
>>7058689
You have a car. You have a VW bug, though lately it's been acting up; you've been meaning to take it in for repairs.

While you finish bashing the woman's head into a fine paste, you hear a loud crash behind you; you; you turn back and see that the random guy has broken down your door, and is heading toward the fat man's apartment, since he has the television turned on relatively loud.

>>7058924
if he cant handle a single zombie by himself, hes going to die here anyway, leave him.
lets be off into the car then.
call work as we drive. f there is someone in the road, dont stop unless it is super obvious they arent a zombie.
and i mean super obvious, like screaming "oh my god there are zombies everywhere!" or something.

>>7058924
Great. I guess we should go and help him out. Head to the door and give the guy a good swing to the back of the head.

>>7058924
FUCK, GUYS, SHIT JUST GOT REAL

We heard a loud crash, like somebody knocked a fucking door down; and we're still here looking through stuff to take and getting ready.

We're on our home turf, men.

ARE WE GONNA LET WHATEVER THE FUCK IS OUT THERE GET US?

WHAT DO WE DO?

>>7058997
Look for a better goddamn weapon than our Prop Sword. Do we have anything else that is heavy and blunt (besides our dick of course)?

>>7059032
Seconded.

We're a fa/tg/uy; don't we have anything else heavy lying around,

>>7058924
--Bash in the random guy's head from behind.
--Tell the fa/tg/uy I'm going back to my place to grab supplies.
--Go back, grab car keys, wallet/small purse with ID, money, and other essentials.
--Grab hiking backpack, toss in flashlights, batteries, bottles of water, random food from the fridge/pantry that may last a few days.
--Grab knife (something reasonable), cell phone, cell phone charger (duh, power-grid is still up), spare cash, basic first-aid, mouthwash (if any), basic toiletries (change of socks/undies).
>Since we obviously hike, those things should be semi-reasonable, right?
--Grab sleeping bag
--Make sure we are wearing appropriate shoes.

>>7059084
Seconding this incredibly arousing degree of level-headedness.

Pull out shotgun and make sure its loaded and unsafed.

Camp the fucking door.

DONT SAY YOU FUCKING DONT HAVE A SHOTGUN ANYMORE IM FINGERING MY REM870 AT THIS VERY MOMENT

ALSO FATBIKER GUY WE ARE FA/tg/UY FRANCIS

I'm thinking that for now we probably don't need to stock up on survival gear that we could get elsewhere. We're in the city and have no clear plans on leaving; if we're going to later we can stop by a Costco and grab stuff.
Right now, our priority should be getting over to the other girl's house as quickly as possible; she doesn't seem the sensible, composed sort.

(Stand-by, people; FATGUY and I are working on a collaborative post.)

>>7059130
if he ends up shooting me/us as well as the zombie i am going to pretend to seductively tie him up.
then leave him.

Ok so we got SHOTGUN and SHELLS we also have PROPSWORD and KNIFE also ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE

Ok ditch the propsword and pull out your shotgun and wait a medium distance from the door with it raised and ready. Kill zombie when he comes in. After that grab carkeys and a backpack filled backpack with any bottled water and soup cans you have, then go out and find girl. Splitting up leads to death

Put shotgun in mouth and pull the triger, its the onlyway

>>7059130
Alright, fa/tg/uys, this is OUR half of the post; we're camping that fucking door, and as soon as whatever the fuck made that noise pokes its head around the door, its BRAINSPLATTER TIME.

Also, fuck the prop sword. We'll just use our SHOOTFUN as our blunt weapon!

>>7059084
As you go to bash in the man's head from behind, he walks in front of the door; you are stunned by the roar of a shotgun as the man's head disappears, and are momentarily shell-shocked.

===========
>>7059168

FUCK YEAR, GUYS, WE BLEW THAT ZOMBIE A NEW GODDAMN FACEHOLE. That'll teach HIM to mess around with the experts!

We start gathering those supplies!

==============
>>7059084
You get up from sitting on the floor, and yell through the door at the fat man to be more goddamn careful. "You almost took my head off, you goddamn lunatic!"

================
UNGRATEFUL BITCH. WE KILL A ZOMBIE AND SHE GETS ANGRY

But it's cool, its awwwwwwwright; all that matters is getting the fuck out of dodge before those speakers we set up go off.

We tell her to get her shit together, because we're leaving; if she wants to come along, that's fine.

=================
You scoff at the fat man before hurrying towards your apartment and grabbing your supplies and begin heading downstairs.

==================

Okay, men, we've got our supplies, no- FUCK

Our car's battery has been dead for the last week; been meaning to replace it, but we wanted that new fucking Tyranid codex.

What do we do?

STEAL A FUCKING BATTERY FROM THE CARPARK AND SHOVE THAT SHIT INTO OUR CAR

OR FUCK MAN WE HAVE OTHER NIEGHBERS, BREAK DOWN A DOOR MURDER THEIR ZOMBIE ASSES AND TAKE THEIR CAR

>>7059291
>been meaning to replace it, but we wanted that new fucking Tyranid codex

Spending money on WH40k instead of on our car?

BY GOD, HE IS A FA/TG/UY!

Also, WHERE THE FUCK DID HE BUY THE NEW 'NID CODEX

allright, this idiots way too fucking dangerous.
lets get in our car, go to Rachels, and ring work on the way.

Okay, leave the fa/tg/uy to his ravings. Get our supplies as mentioned here >>7059084

Then, head to our car and head over to Jillian's.

>>7059291
--Ask the fa/tg/uy what kind of car he has, and how much he has in the tank. If it is superior to my shitty VW, then take the battery from my car and put it in his.
--What car did the random guy drive? Whatever, probably too late for that. (If it is an underground parking garage, then we have time)

>Last post for me tonight, g'night

>>7059347
You have already grabbed your supplies, after leaving the fat man to his ravings; you have collected them in a duffel bag, and you also have your purse with you.

Both Rachel and Jillian live on the same street, just opposite sides of the street; going to one will get you to the other eventually.

>>7059375
You have enclosed car ports, with raisable doors. They are outdoors, and attached to the building; however, there is an awning over the carport area that gives some protection from the elements.

You go over and ask the fat man what kind of car he drives; maybe his car is more stable than yours, since you don't trust that Check Engine light that turns on whenever you try to drive. At the very least, you'd rather have his shotgun in view instead of hidden, where you can't see if he's aiming at you.

The random guy was dropped off (along with you) by Jillian, who was driving for all of you last night.

>>7056925
fuck yeah /k/ommandos to the rescue

wait, what are our names?
Tiffany and Grognard-annihilator-of-biologically-changed-humans?

>>7059449
You're late, /k/ommandos, -4 str is already kicking more ass then fatguy. She bashed a zombie's head in, we almost took her head off with a shotgun blast that decapitated a zombie.

>>7059468
Fatguy is Barry. Dunno if our girl has been given a name yet.

>>7059479
>-4 kicking more ass
>WE FUCKING BLEW A ZOMBIES HEAD OFF

Good sir, do shut the fuck up

I'd continue, fine people, but I actually DO have work tomorrow/today; I need to get some sleep.

The thread has been archived at SupTG; FATGUY and I agreed to continue on Thursday.

>>7059507
Our's was with a bat. Fa/tg/uy just shot something from a couple feet away. Probably out of breath from all that cardio of pulling a trigger.

>>7059530
nooo
i have no internet on thursdays!
guess ill have to check the archive then.
you guys lead my alpha bitch astray and i will be most displeased.
dont let the manchild even TOUCH her.

Pic related. It's what I thought of when I read about bitch breakin' down fat guy's door.

>>7059479
dude, /k/ommando was talking about the woman.
Chicks can carry sidearms, too