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  • File : 1260410987.jpg-(140 KB, 600x600, A Little Help.jpg)
    140 KB ???? 12/09/09(Wed)21:09 No.7068795  
    Hey! You guys! I seem to be suffering from some sort of amnesia. Do you guys know who I am? What was I doing outside of that cave? Can I get a little help?
    >> Researcher Sam 12/09/09(Wed)21:11 No.7068805
    >>7068795
    George? Izzat you?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:11 No.7068808
    WHERE IS YOUR NECK?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:11 No.7068815
    >>7068808
    WHO'S HEAD ARE YOU HOLDING?!
    >> Abaddon 12/09/09(Wed)21:12 No.7068821
    You are the Holy saint Justice. Keeper of the Orb of Justice. Long ago you made a pact to kill any who broke the law, no matter how large or small. Now go reclaim the orb and cleanse the world of all lawbreakers so that you can punish your self
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:12 No.7068823
    I... oh god, this looks dangerous! Better take this sword and 20 gold pieces!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:12 No.7068825
    It's simple my friend! That cave is your home! Walk into it, knowing you are it's lord. Anything within will see you as such. Make them bow before your glory.

    Yes, you had a laspe in memory, but that is the price of being the most powerful arcane caster in the realm!
    >> stripedog !99w4lZplhU 12/09/09(Wed)21:13 No.7068830
         File1260411198.jpg-(15 KB, 350x392, timzaccheo.jpg)
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    Well, I believe that you seem to be standing there with a demeanor of confusion. Perhaps eating a Baby Ruth bar is in order.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:14 No.7068845
    >>7068830
    What we need to get this poor man is a package of Mentos, stat.
    >> ???? 12/09/09(Wed)21:14 No.7068849
         File1260411278.jpg-(137 KB, 600x600, George Is That Me.jpg)
    137 KB
    >>7068805
    >>7068808
    >>7068815
    >>7068821
    >>7068823
    >>7068825
    Are you guys even sure you know who I am?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:15 No.7068851
    Head for the nearest Starbucks for info, quests and expensive coffee.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/09/09(Wed)21:16 No.7068862
    >>7068849

    Of course, you jackass, you are amnesiac, which means we are right, and the thing is, you passed out before promising me to slay the dragon on this cave and bring me all his loot. Now go before i get angry!
    >> Researcher Sam 12/09/09(Wed)21:16 No.7068866
    >>7068849
    Well, I know that your name is George; where you are or what you do is a mystery to me.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:16 No.7068867
    Sci, is that you? Snap out of it Sci! It's some kind of sinister mind trick!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:17 No.7068884
    oh shit. A quest with art. Thats a surprise.
    >> Abaddon 12/09/09(Wed)21:18 No.7068887
    >>7068849

    GET THE ORB IN THE CAVE! ENFORCE THE WILL OF LAW! ONLY THEN CAN YOU FEEL THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH!
    >> stripedog !99w4lZplhU 12/09/09(Wed)21:18 No.7068897
    Oh crud, looks like there is sheetmusic written above that doorway. Better go fetch Rebbecca Chambers before you proceed any further.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:19 No.7068910
    >>7068866

    Yes, and you're extremely curious, George. Enter the cave.
    >> ???? 12/09/09(Wed)21:19 No.7068914
         File1260411564.jpg-(133 KB, 600x600, Wut.jpg)
    133 KB
    >>7068862
    A dragon? Are you fucking serious?! How am I supposed to slay a dragon?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:19 No.7068921
    >>7068914
    The power of your mind!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:20 No.7068925
    >>7068867
    How the fuck do you even pronounce that? No, fuck, George is simpler. It also has the benefit of BEING HIS FUCKING NAME!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:20 No.7068928
    >>7068914
    You forgot but you are a wizard level 20
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:20 No.7068929
    >>7068914
    SHUT UP AND GO IN THE CAVE GEORGE.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:20 No.7068930
    >>7068849
    George, calm down. Empty your pockets! That can tell us who you are.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/09/09(Wed)21:20 No.7068935
    >>7068914

    You are a multiclass Monk/Wizard. You can make shit explode by mind force or punches.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:21 No.7068943
    rolled 20 = 20

    >>7068795
    Rolling D20 for Bluff

    Don't you know? You're a Dragon slayer of the order of Red-blood.
    >> Abaddon 12/09/09(Wed)21:21 No.7068953
    >>7068914

    THE ORB WILL CLAD YOU IN THE ARMOR OF PAST JUDGES! YOUR BLADE IS YOUR GAVEL AND IT IS YOUR AXE! GO NOW JUDGE THIS DRAGON!
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/09/09(Wed)21:22 No.7068959
    >>7068943

    Yeah, what he said.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:22 No.7068961
    >>7068943
    o lawdy
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:23 No.7068977
    >>7068943
    I concur.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:23 No.7068983
    >>7068910
    Heh.

    Well george, looks like people want you to go into the cave. Dooooooo eeeeeeeeet.
    >> stripedog !99w4lZplhU 12/09/09(Wed)21:23 No.7068986
         File1260411836.gif-(15 KB, 250x258, Trusty.gif)
    15 KB
    Why, have I evah told you about ol' Sammy Jankis?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:24 No.7068995
    How are you going to slay a dragon? Son, I am disapoint. How else are you going to slay a dragon. You are going to punch it until it stops moving and then punch it some more. No fucking pansy two bit dragon is going to think itself superior after george the dragon slayer comes through.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:24 No.7068999
    >>7068943
    What that guy said, George! DO YOUR DAMN JOB.
    >> stripedog !99w4lZplhU 12/09/09(Wed)21:25 No.7069008
         File1260411916.jpg-(11 KB, 300x225, 258038_1139017086.jpg)
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    >>7068986
    Aye lad, only every time we SEE you.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:26 No.7069018
    >>7068943
    Oh shi-
    >> ???? 12/09/09(Wed)21:26 No.7069022
         File1260411974.jpg-(140 KB, 600x600, Hmmm.jpg)
    140 KB
    >>7068921
    Obvious my mind powers aren't that prominent if I don't even know who the fuck I am.
    >>7068943
    Really? Awesome!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:27 No.7069036
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>7068795
    Rolling D20 for George's initiative.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/09/09(Wed)21:27 No.7069048
    >>7069022

    You might not remember your spells now, but you probably will on the battlefield. Now stop moping and go slay the dragon.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:28 No.7069053
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>7069036
    You see a kobold pop out of the dungeon. He throws a rock at you for 1d4 damage.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/09/09(Wed)21:30 No.7069103
    >>7069053

    Oh shit, it's a critical! George, go now and clobber this motherfucker! Remember what i told you on your training, headbutt until someone's skull cracks!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:31 No.7069111
    >>7069093
    Do it asshole
    >> George The Mother Fucking Dragon Slayer 12/09/09(Wed)21:35 No.7069175
         File1260412523.jpg-(138 KB, 600x600, Well What The Fuck Now.jpg)
    138 KB
    >>7069048
    Alright, I think I'll go slay the fuck out of that dragon!

    ...What the fuck is all this shit?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:36 No.7069196
    >>7069022
    inspect the notes above the cave door
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:36 No.7069199
    Slow drawfag can't keep up with these dicerolls, hot damn.
    >> RAILROAD RAILROAD 12/09/09(Wed)21:37 No.7069204
         File1260412630.jpg-(62 KB, 524x279, f40ph-amtrak.jpg)
    62 KB
    RAILROAD
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:37 No.7069209
    >>7069175

    They are clearly rooms filled with equipment.

    Left be mage, middle be warrior, right be ranger.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:37 No.7069210
    >>7069175
    inspect all notes.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:38 No.7069221
    >>7069196
    No. Break one of those doors down. If you can slay the fuck out of dragons surely you can slay the shit out of doors.

    The one with the diamond on fire or whatever it really is.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:39 No.7069231
    Punch the shit out of that middle door. It thinks its better than us because it has a goddamn sword. SHOW IT WHO IS BOSS.
    >> Researcher Sam 12/09/09(Wed)21:39 No.7069233
    >>7069175
    Well, might as well go for the right door. That always works for me.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/09/09(Wed)21:39 No.7069243
    >>7069175

    Fuck, since you are multiclass choosing the doors will be a bitch. Well, try the Crystal one first.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:39 No.7069245
    Left door is superior go inside
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:40 No.7069257
    >>7069243
    His two classes are Mother fucker and Faux Dragon Slayer
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:40 No.7069258
    >>7069175
    Go through the left door.
    >> George The Mother Fucking Dragon Slayer 12/09/09(Wed)21:41 No.7069270
         File1260412871.jpg-(77 KB, 600x600, FFFUCK YOU.jpg)
    77 KB
    >>7069199
    There have been 2 dice rolls, one of which will not be responded to, because there is no kobold.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:41 No.7069276
    rolled 9 = 9

    >>7069270
    There's no kobold
    yet.

    1d20 for kobold behind whichever door he chooses.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:42 No.7069282
    open all of them at the same time
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/09/09(Wed)21:42 No.7069289
    >>7069270

    The kobold is a lie.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:45 No.7069331
    Carve your own path through destiny. PUNCH YOUR WAY THROUGH THE FUCKING ROOF.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:47 No.7069360
    rolled 19 = 19

    You actually are in possession of a masterwork +1 dick use it to defeat the dragon
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:51 No.7069419
    Go through the middle door. Maybe we'll get a sword out of it.
    >> George The Mother Fucking Dragon Slayer 12/09/09(Wed)21:51 No.7069422
         File1260413487.jpg-(87 KB, 600x600, Poor Draw Creationism At Work.jpg)
    87 KB
    >>7069331
    You're right. Why should I let any pre-determined path control me? Why should I let my destiny be in someone else hands? Through the roof you say?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:51 No.7069432
    all of the above
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)21:53 No.7069449
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>7069422
    I liked him better as a circle.

    Rolling 1d20 for curse of the orbhead.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/09/09(Wed)21:53 No.7069454
         File1260413602.jpg-(77 KB, 800x800, slowdrill.jpg)
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    >>7069422

    SEE THE INVISIBLE, DO THE IMPOSSIBLE, ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWER!
    >> George The Mother Fucking Dragon Slayer 12/09/09(Wed)22:00 No.7069583
         File1260414017.jpg-(122 KB, 600x600, It's Always Necessary.jpg)
    122 KB
    >>7069449
    Me too.
    >>7069454
    May as well.

    Now that I'm free of the hokey bullshit choose your own destiny from three already planned paths, what should I do?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:01 No.7069594
    I hate this DM. Fuck this game. I'm going to go play 4.0
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:01 No.7069600
    >>7069583

    Since you are now Neo you put down the phone and show these people a world without the System and forced conformity.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:01 No.7069601
    >>7068795
    why are you holding a head
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:03 No.7069628
    >>7069583
    Now go find a dragon and PUNCH ITS SHIT RIGHT OUT!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:03 No.7069631
    find a dragon to slay. wasnt that kind of the original plan anyways.
    >> Ayaya !jT2u4h//Bs 12/09/09(Wed)22:05 No.7069681
    >>7069583

    Why are you asking me if you are free from being ordered? OH SHIT LOGIC ERROR!
    >> George The Mother Fucking Dragon Slayer 12/09/09(Wed)22:06 No.7069690
    >>7069600
    >>7069628
    >>7069631
    Yes! I mu-
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:07 No.7069694
    George sounds like he needs to take a vacation somewhere tropical.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:07 No.7069702
    >>7069690
    George? George!? GEEEEOOOORGE!!!!!!
    >> George The Mother Fucking Dragon Slayer 12/09/09(Wed)22:08 No.7069728
         File1260414535.jpg-(252 KB, 600x600, Now To- OH FUCK.jpg)
    252 KB
    >>7069690
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:10 No.7069755
    >>7069728
    o shi
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:10 No.7069756
    >>7069728
    GEOOOOOOOOORGE! NOOOOOOO!!!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:12 No.7069777
    IF he wasn't really a dragonslayer how did he fly
    >> Researcher Sam 12/09/09(Wed)22:12 No.7069785
    >>7069728
    Oh goddamnit, what did you guys do to George?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:13 No.7069805
    >>7069728

    Holy shit.


    I think George just Exalted.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:14 No.7069819
    >>7069785

    I...I think we broke him out of the Matrix
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/09/09(Wed)22:14 No.7069823
         File1260414880.jpg-(66 KB, 600x600, OH SHIIIIT.jpg)
    66 KB
    Well, You have no idea how that human appeared to be flying, but it looks as though it still couldn't withstand direct Loli-lazer eye beams.

    If only you knew where the hell you were. You feel as if you have been asleep for far too long.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 12/09/09(Wed)22:16 No.7069841
    rolled 5, 6, 15 = 26

    >>7069823
    wat
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:17 No.7069864
    >>7069823
    Well that sucked. I'm going back to /d/
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:17 No.7069866
    >>7069823
    No, go away, let OP tell us what happened to George. We don't need another loli-mech image dump.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:19 No.7069896
         File1260415178.jpg-(19 KB, 640x480, bleach_mayuri0001.jpg)
    19 KB
    >>7069823
    You are no Scientist,

    No Scientist would ever destroy such an interesting person
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:21 No.7069914
    >>7069823

    Can you discern where we are, Scientist?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:22 No.7069934
    >>7069823
    Fuck.


    Yes.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:23 No.7069947
    It's good to have you back scientist.What's been happening since we saw you last?
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/09/09(Wed)22:24 No.7069963
         File1260415489.jpg-(97 KB, 600x600, Search Your Feelings.jpg)
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    >>7069866
    I AM THE OP. Search your feelings, you know it is true.
    >>7069896
    Says the one from a magical world with magical machines who fight magical creatures. Begone figment of impossibility.
    >>7069914
    As of now, you have no clue where you are.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:26 No.7069984
    >>7069963
    Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!

    Okay, I'm done searching. So what now?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:26 No.7069987
         File1260415578.jpg-(160 KB, 600x600, fumbles.jpg)
    160 KB
    >>7069963
    Missed you man! Btw Fumbles is still going strong. If not dealing with far too many Daemons for his liking.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:26 No.7069989
    Bad Guy Quest is BACK.

    This calls for a celebration.

    -CARVE OUR NAME INTO MARS
    -BRING GEORGE BACK TO LIFE, TURN HIM INTO A MINION.
    - SLAY A FUCKING DRAGON!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:28 No.7070014
    Have raven user loliradar to get an idea of the local geography.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:30 No.7070061
    What's the first thing you remember?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:31 No.7070074
    Overthrow the loli cultists and claim your birthright!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:34 No.7070124
    Turn self into loli
    Seriously, Why haven't we done this yet?
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/09/09(Wed)22:35 No.7070131
         File1260416121.jpg-(120 KB, 600x600, You Are Somewhere In This Pict(...).jpg)
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    >>7069989
    You would do all of these things if you had the required materials.
    >>7070014
    Raven's Loli-radar ticks away. After a few moments she looks at you and shrugs.
    >>7070061
    It's far too vague. Even for your impressive and almost fortress-esque mind, there are times when semblance and memory fade or are disrupted by some outside source.

    Surely this is some diabolical sabotage planned and carried out by your Arch-nemesis Elizabeth! That cunt.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:36 No.7070159
    >>7070131
    well. That guy seemed to come from some kind of cave. Let's go investigate that. Maybe we'll find signs of civilization or something there.
    >> Researcher Sam 12/09/09(Wed)22:37 No.7070169
    >>7070131
    You've lost me. Where is this continuing from? Is there an archived thread I can read to catch up?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:38 No.7070197
    This seems like a trap of some sort. MIND SCAN. Are we in some sort of dream or something again?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:42 No.7070259
    >>7070169
    newfags don't know.


    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Bad%20Guy%20Quest
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Bad%20Gay%20Quest
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/09/09(Wed)22:44 No.7070289
         File1260416651.jpg-(166 KB, 600x600, What The Fuck Is That Sand Scr(...).jpg)
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    >>7070159
    Well, it looks as though there is or was some sort of civilization at least.
    >>7070197
    Nothing happens.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:44 No.7070294
    Question the gravitational problems that having two moons would cause.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:46 No.7070318
    Use SUPER INTELLEGENCE to translate the runes above the doors.
    >> Gelatinous Rube 12/09/09(Wed)22:46 No.7070324
         File1260416793.jpg-(58 KB, 640x480, 1242682732409.jpg)
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    >>7070294
    It's_magic_I_ain't_gotta_explain_shit.jpg
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:47 No.7070349
    Go left.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:50 No.7070388
    Call out for #3's help. This is awefully suspicious. Look around for clues. Elezabitch is to smug to not leave some mark.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:51 No.7070394
    PUNCH EVERYTHING
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/09/09(Wed)22:51 No.7070403
         File1260417101.jpg-(97 KB, 600x600, SCIENCE MUST ALWAYS BE DONE.jpg)
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    >>7070294
    Yes. This is obviously important to your continued survival. Food be damned, water can go fuck itself, hell, even shelter from the elements and/or creatures is merely dust in the wind when compared to this soul shattering question!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:55 No.7070466
    >>7070403
    Have Raven run the calculations while we go left.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:56 No.7070474
    There is only one sollution.

    BLOW UP THE MOON.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:57 No.7070478
    >>7070474
    This. A thousand times this.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)22:57 No.7070482
    >>7070403
    It seriously is.

    If either of those moons are coming down within the next 7 days, you want to know about it now so you can dedicate your time getting off this rock.
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/09/09(Wed)23:01 No.7070531
         File1260417690.jpg-(174 KB, 600x600, Decyphering Made Easy!.jpg)
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    >>7070318
    Left Door:
    Wise
    Middle Door:
    Strong
    Right Door:
    Quiet

    It roughly translates to this.

    >>7070466
    May as well. Just finishing up the translation.

    >>7070478
    No way to do it.

    >>7070482
    But of course. The internet makes it hard to express the nuance of a sentence. I was entirely serious.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:02 No.7070535
    >>7070482
    So this is Elizabeth's plan, to trap us on some kind of alien alternate dimension on the doorstep of the apocolypse, aye? Well she doesnt know who she's fucking with!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:03 No.7070548
    >>7070531
    Of course, entirely serious. It would be impossible for us to take someone with a laser-eyed loli who just incinerated someone not seriously.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:03 No.7070557
    >>7070531
    Well fuck, we aint nothing if not wise. GO LEFT.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:05 No.7070583
    >>7070531
    wait, you mean to tell me that Raven doesnt have enough LOLI EYE BEAMS to BLOW UP A MOON?

    What were you thinking?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:07 No.7070601
    Open all doors, in order, from left to right.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:08 No.7070623
    >>7070601
    This is clearly a trap. Open it from right to left instead.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:09 No.7070632
    >>7070623
    Thats' what they'd expect us to do
    Its trapped in reverse
    Open left to right
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:10 No.7070637
    Actually, just open all doors in a random order.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:11 No.7070646
    Open the left door yourself, meanwhile have raven blow up the middle door with lasers while pushing open the right door super quietly.
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/09/09(Wed)23:13 No.7070681
         File1260418428.jpg-(107 KB, 600x600, Well If This Doesn't Offend Ou(...).jpg)
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    >>7070557
    You go left. The room's a tad dark until you walk further in. You suddenly see a very offensive thing before your sights. It appears to be some woman, floating trapped within a glowing crystal. This is either a bad joke or your worst nightmares come true. Or is it?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:17 No.7070714
    >>7070681
    Yes. Wake up.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:18 No.7070718
    >>7070681
    RESCUE OUR FUCKING WAIFU.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:22 No.7070776
    >>7070681
    Save #3.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:23 No.7070789
    Have raven run some scans. Could be a trap.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:25 No.7070808
    rolled 8 = 8

    rolling to move one level of consciousness up
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/09/09(Wed)23:31 No.7070871
         File1260419476.jpg-(146 KB, 600x600, I'm Sorry Was That French.jpg)
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    >>7070718
    >>7070776
    You Smash The Crystal prison with YOUR FIST(and some well place punches where you calculated it was structurally weak).

    You must have been delirious or still a little thrown off from awakening on this alien world. Whoever this woman is, she may look close to but is most definitely not 3.

    What the fuck is she even saying? is it French or something?

    >>7070789
    It might have been nice to have done this first. Luckily there doesn't seem to be a trap.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:34 No.7070919
    have Raven run autotranslating proceedures.

    Failing that: Use the universal language of SCIENCE!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:37 No.7070943
    That's not french. We speak every fucking language in the world and that is not fucking french. She is clearly nothing more than an ignorant peasent. Ignore her and proceed
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:39 No.7070962
    Holy glossolalia, batman.

    Lead her by the hand and let's get going.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:39 No.7070968
    Fuck, Badguy quest comes back and I have fucking finals tommorow. Gu-Fucking-Rate.

    Take the girl with us. She may be useful. Keep mindful of betrayal.
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/09/09(Wed)23:51 No.7071083
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    >>7070919
    Raven says she pretty much has the Gist of the language after the woman rambles on for almost twenty minutes straight.

    From what she has translated, the woman seems to go on and on about 'The Destined Champion, he who can fly as the birds do, and the savior of the world'. Chalking it up to her being a primitive savage, you could pretty much ignore everything coming out of her mouth.

    Is there anything you'd like to ask her instead?

    >>7070962
    >>7070968
    Cool down Romeo, you haven't even bought her a drink yet.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/09(Wed)23:57 No.7071143
    Why was she inside a damn crystal.

    Where are we.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:04 No.7071208
    >>7071083
    This destined champion... did he have rocket boots? Because I do believe that we have rocketboots, and last time I checked that made us a whole hell of a lot better than someone who mearly flies like a bird.

    And whats with the freaky tattoo? Where are we? Does she work for Elizabeth or any of the unloli'd numbers?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:06 No.7071233
    >>7071083

    Ask her if she wants to get a drink.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:10 No.7071271
    >>7071233
    When you are in a monogamous committed relationship with a AI about as powerful as yourself, such actions may be frowned upon.

    I am frowning upon you.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:13 No.7071297
    >>7071271
    Agreed. But consider her as some sort of prize to be won by the minions in a test of strength. Primitives were into that sort of thing, right?

    Now, the most important question. How the fuck do we get off this rock before that moon crushes us all?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:15 No.7071329
    Scientist! Good to see you back, was it a computer problem like I heard?

    I'm not sure quite what's going on with this resuming of Bad Guy quest, and a test tomorrow means I'll have to wait to find out.

    But oh boy is reading the archives going to be fun.
    >> Interrogator Nil 12/10/09(Thu)00:15 No.7071333
    FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

    YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
    RRR

    SSSSSSSCCCCCCCCCCCCCCIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:16 No.7071345
    Look, just ask her where the nearest pile of scrap metal, tools, and radioactive whatsits. We can handle pretty much anything with that.
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/10/09(Thu)00:16 No.7071346
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    >>7071143
    Supposedly the civilization realized there sun was straying from it's home star cluster. While it didn't seem to affect life on the planet, they decided to leave someone in preserved stasis on the off-chance that there planet(Graddix) and/or the Sun it orbited threatened to collide with another solar system.

    From what she can tell of the ruins though, something may have happened to said civilization. Theoretically, many eons may have passed, the great cities might have crumbled only to give birth to more primitive societies.

    By now, Raven seems annoyed with translating her words. it could be because she doesn't seem to shut up.
    >>7071208
    She has no idea who Elizabeth is.
    >>7071233
    She's not entirely sure this situation merits that question or even if it is appropriate to ask.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:22 No.7071403
    And just what, praytell was the person in stasis supposed to do if the planet was indeed going to crash into another?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:23 No.7071419
    >>7071403
    survive probably
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/10/09(Thu)00:24 No.7071430
    Just so everyone knows, Yes I had computer troubles, then I started to play too many video games, there was Thanksgiving stuff in between. Borderlands was fun, Brutal Legend got me too involved, Dragon Age for some reason sucked me, and I have gone full circle back into Mass Effect.

    The real killing factor was my limited attention span mostly or maybe my lack of time management. I'm kinda lazy too. Christ, I still need to gather up all the plot notes that I can from the archived threads. Reinstalling my entire computer tends to leave me at square one.
    >> Interrogator Nil 12/10/09(Thu)00:27 No.7071462
    >>7071430
    Good to see ya back Scientist! I missed you when you weren't here. The Bad Guy quests were always so much fun. I'm looking forward to the new adventures!
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:29 No.7071482
    >>7071430
    It's just good to have you back sci. Even if you are a lazy sunnovabitch.

    Though honestly, I don't think theres a man amungst us who isn't.

    Now, I think this situation clearly calls for us strapping rockets to the back of this planet. Let's start gathering up the materials for this posthaste. And um. Slap a skull on the front or something. Screw spaceships. We have a personal Space PLANET.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:33 No.7071533
    I'm just glad to have a quest that actually uses images. I'm so sick of text only. And I used to fucking write a text only back in the day.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:34 No.7071551
    >>7071430

    This calls for a celebration! I'll have you know that I am, as we speak, whipping up a celebratory midnight mint julep. Ah, I remember our first Bad Guy Quest thread together. How long has it been, The Scientist? Between the excitement and rampant alcoholism, I've lost track of the time...
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/10/09(Thu)00:35 No.7071557
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    >>7071403
    She pauses. Even without Raven translation, you can hear incredulity in her voice. Raven quickly relays her words.

    "You somehow manage to travel to a planet going hundreds of thousands of spaces measurements per hour, land on it safely and you mean to tell me you don't have some form of technology to either slow down or circumvent my planet from colliding with yours?"

    Her people had been trying desperately it seems to reach a technological breakthrough, but they had preserved some of their race it seemed as a precaution in case things didn't pan out.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:35 No.7071564
    Right. Not on Earth. Have raven go look at the sky for a few minutes, figure out where all the stars are based on radiation and then have her figure out where we in the galaxy based on that. I swear to god if we wind up suffering time dilation or some such shit and get home to find all our stuff has been trashed we're going to be pissed.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:36 No.7071576
    >>7071557

    We are a SCIENTIST! Clearly, we build an anti-gravity device out of coconuts.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:39 No.7071615
    >>7071557
    "In fairness, we got here by accident."
    Plus, you know, it's not like we can do anything without some freaking tools. She shows us the goods, we make with the planet stopping.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:40 No.7071625
    >>7071564

    We have so many nuke-resistant hidden bases all over the place that not everything could have been destroyed. Besides, we have a nigh-immortal Soviet lover who may or may not be a sleeper agent watching our stuff. What could possibly go wrong?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:45 No.7071673
    >>7071625
    Our kickass henchmen being dead by the time we get back? Our candy sales being in the toilet? Or worst yet -- Elizabeth thinking she's won?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 12/10/09(Thu)00:46 No.7071689
    Wasn't Elizabeth your pet computer or something?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:47 No.7071697
    >>7071673

    Elizabeth thinking she's won is a good thing. An enemy who thinks you dead is easily overcome.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:48 No.7071705
    >>7071689

    No, Elizabeth was the Arch-Rival Scientist. Number 3 is the computer/lover/secret agent/whatever.
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/10/09(Thu)00:48 No.7071711
         File1260424105.jpg-(90 KB, 600x600, Don't Tempt Me.jpg)
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    >>7071564
    >>I swear to god if we wind up suffering time dilation or some such shit and get home to find all our stuff has been trashed we're going to be pissed.

    Must resist urge to be a huge dick. Must resist.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:49 No.7071719
    >>7071697
    Do you really want to give her the satisfaction? Do you?

    Besides, we have certain allies that are not cyborgs, certain scottish badasses and the like.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:50 No.7071728
    >>7071711

    Don't you fucking dare, The Scientist. Don't you fucking dare. Some of it, sure. Most of it, sure. But not all of it. By God, if you do I'll continue following these threads with interest.
    >> Interrogator Nil 12/10/09(Thu)00:52 No.7071759
    >>7071711
    Is Badass minion gone? Say it isn't so!
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:53 No.7071761
    >>7071711
    Note to self: Don't tempt the OP.

    While I would hate to lose so much of our progress to such a scenario, distopian future world sounds like it would make a pretty good episode later on, actually.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:54 No.7071777
    >>7071719

    Think of it this way. Elizabeth is in the middle of an elegant cocktail party with a huge banner overhead bearing the legend, "We finally got rid of that insufferable prick." The party is in full swing, the hors d'oeuvres are being daintily consumed, and the music is just loud enough to encourage dancing, but not so loud as to impede conversation. Then, the power dies. She is mildly annoyed, and motions for the waiters to check it out. Lighting flashes, and The Scientist rises from the punch bowl laughing maniacally.

    Savor the moment, friend. Savor it.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)00:57 No.7071804
    >>7071777
    How quaint of you to assume so little from one who would dain herself as OUR rival.

    Make no mistake friend, Elizabeth is a force to recon with. Would we bother ourself with her if it was any other way? I think not. Do not underestimate her,do not undertstimate our hatred for her, do not undermine the sweetness that will be our vengeance.
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/10/09(Thu)01:02 No.7071843
         File1260424938.jpg-(94 KB, 600x600, Fuck You And Your Bejewled For(...).jpg)
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    >>7071615
    You make it very obvious that you have no clue how the fuck you got here. You even allow Raven to try and translate the curse word to let this uppity alien understand your situation.

    >>7071576
    Your mind begins acing, listing materials that may or may not be required, drafting and tossing away mental blue print after mental blue print. How would one even go about changing a planets trajectory let alone stopping it?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 12/10/09(Thu)01:04 No.7071861
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    >>7071843

    >How would one even go about changing a planets trajectory let alone stopping it?

    Depends on the manner of the motion. Planning is easy. Implementation, well...
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:04 No.7071863
    >>7071777
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RidsxnnVTR4
    >> Wait. What? 12/10/09(Thu)01:04 No.7071866
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    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:06 No.7071879
    >>7071843
    Rockets and some sort of planetary scale stability maintanence field?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:06 No.7071881
    What's the planet made of?

    Could we blow off the atmosphere or something?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:07 No.7071891
    >>7071843

    Look, if the Professor on Gilligan's Island can do it, so can we. He could build anything out of coconuts and he only had a couple of regular Ph.Ds. Not even a Ph.D. in MAD SCIENCE!
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:08 No.7071904
    Vanish the central star.

    That'll change our orbit. A bit.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:09 No.7071912
    >>7071863
    I believe you mean
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vdm5x0BqM80&feature=related
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:09 No.7071913
    >>7071777

    Actually, that would be the one acceptable reason for time dilation: it's been nine years since Elizabeth and the world acknowledged our disappearance.

    The reason why I say "nine" is so that we can take a year or so and prepare to gatecrash the Tenth Anniversary Celebration for our demise. Preferably right at the moment that Elizabeth steps up to the podium to make a speech. The power dies for a moment, and when the lights come back on she's bound and gagged and we and our minions are at the podium in formal dress, announcing our return to a disbelieving world.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:11 No.7071934
    >>7071881
    We just need to deform the space time continuum around the planet for a bit. Shouldn't be too hard, right.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:12 No.7071939
    >>7071913
    One of the reasons we hate Elizabeth is that she's always treated us as small time. She wouldnt throw a victory celebration, let alone one ten years later.
    >> Problem 12/10/09(Thu)01:16 No.7071986
    > "... circumvent my planet from colliding with yours?"

    Wait. Our planet? She knows we're gonna smack into Earth?

    "You know this .. How?"
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:16 No.7071992
    >>7071986
    Agreed. This is suspicious.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:33 No.7072163
    >>7071843
    Get Patrick, the scottish highlander, and your highlander loli minion.
    Have them tear off a chunk of the planet and throw it away, thus changing the planet's course by newton's 3rd law.
    Tell them they are allowed to have the entire planet to use as a Personal Brewery as payment for their heroics.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:34 No.7072171
    >>7071843
    Because the only thing powerful than a drunk scotsman, is a drunk scotsman applied to the principles of Physics, under the guise of a mad scientist.
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/10/09(Thu)01:37 No.7072200
         File1260427061.jpg-(102 KB, 600x600, Suspicious Behavior Or Innocen(...).jpg)
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    Goddamn it, Evil Villain singalongs.

    >>7071986
    >>7071992
    Turns out, she ASSUMED that it was your planet that hers was hurtling towards.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 12/10/09(Thu)01:39 No.7072222
    >>7072200

    Her Indian dot is glowing red. Maybe she'll shoot lasers out of it.
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/10/09(Thu)01:39 No.7072223
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    Sorry for the slow response. Singing mad scientists got me wanting to draw something only marginally related.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:40 No.7072228
    >>7072200

    it... changed color, the mark on her forehead.
    perhaps a mood indicator.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:41 No.7072237
    >>7072223
    Who cares? This is glorious.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:42 No.7072249
    >>7072200
    Well, we obviously have no idea what planet we are or are not from.
    Scan the stars with Astronomical Science, see if we can find where we are. If we can't, project the star movements forward or back in time until they at least partially resemble what we're looking at, so we can find when and where we are.

    Or perhaps we're in another galaxy.
    >> Interrogator Nil 12/10/09(Thu)01:43 No.7072259
    >>7072223
    It's beautiful.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:44 No.7072262
    >>7072223
    I appear to be unable to touch this, despite the lack of any resisting forces.
    What principle of science can explain, in the absence of any force preventing me from touching this, why I am unable to touch this?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:46 No.7072276
    Look, singalongs are besides the point.

    With our FREEZERAY to STOP the world.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:47 No.7072287
    Can we just punch the woman in her stupid glowy face and figure out how to get home instead of trying to save her retarded rock?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:48 No.7072289
    Tell her she needs to get us tools and equipment pronto. We're basically useless without them.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:49 No.7072305
    Have they tried contacting the other planet?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:52 No.7072327
    >>7072287

    WE DON'T PUNCH WIMMIN'

    Mostly we lolify them.

    But we don't punch 'em.
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/10/09(Thu)01:55 No.7072347
         File1260428107.jpg-(141 KB, 360x360, That Looks Familiar.jpg)
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    >>7072249
    Looks familiar.

    >>7072287
    You contemplate it and save that option for later, just incase.

    >>7072289
    She stalk off, still obviously annoyed.

    >>7072305
    So far, you haven't been able to locate any transmission device. Hopefully they have one, but without actively searching for it, you haven't really noticed.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)01:56 No.7072357
    >>7072347
    What is that? Orion?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)02:02 No.7072402
    >>7072347
    Whelp. While she gets us tools, lets go find us a communication device. Have raven run a scan for advanced alloys and polymers, lets find some plastic and metal equipment. That'll be a good start.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)02:02 No.7072408
    >>7072357
    Yes it is. Which narrows things down a lot; we probably are within 15-20ly of home tops, and likely closer. Otherwise Orion wouldn't look the same.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)02:03 No.7072410
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    Poke around for comm infrastructure.

    ( Pic related. This bint ain't in our social circle. She wants to see annoyance? We can do annoyance. )
    >> The Scientist !!ql/rzSIfHCY 12/10/09(Thu)02:03 No.7072414
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    >>7072357
    Actually, it is. Good job. It's 2 A.M. So I'm going to call it a night. Expect more Science and Adventure either tomorrow or sometime within 3 days.

    I will attempt to gather what information I need most likely during this time. Also, I'll leave you guys with the Halloween picture from the Halloween part thread 2 months back since I think it came out pretty good.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)02:05 No.7072420
    >>7072414
    See you tommorow night Sci. Looking forward to it! Great to have you back, man. Great to have you back.
    >> Interrogator Nil 12/10/09(Thu)02:05 No.7072425
    >>7072414
    Please come back soon Sir!
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)02:06 No.7072429
    'k.

    Thank you Sci!

    Welcome back.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/09(Thu)02:07 No.7072443
         File1260428861.jpg-(134 KB, 600x600, 1256969464516.jpg)
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    >>7072414
    2 A.M., you say?



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