>The world isn't so bad, really. There are just a few glaring flaws that make in unbearable. First and foremost among them, that you dont rule it. How this oversight happened your not quite sure but there it is. Today you decide to change that.But who are you really? Choose name and sex
I'll wait 5 min for more votes, if not we will go with Dirk
Simo Häyha IIGender: sniper
Well nothing has been seconded, I will give 3 min for a second, then will roll off between the suggestions
Voting on Dirk Creed
>>7269004eh, male creed(i dont get why noone likes Baron Flynt he was one bad ass motherfucker)
commander Flex Plexicosupermale
Diggler's first appearance was in Anderson's short film "The Dirk Diggler Story". The character is very loosely based on the life of porn star John Holmes. In 1988's "The Dirk Diggler Story", Michael Stein plays the role of Diggler. Stein makes a cameo appearance in Boogie Nights, playing the customer to whom Don Cheadle's character "Buck" tries selling a stereo.In the film, Diggler, whose given name was Eddie Adams, is discovered in the San Fernando Valley as a teen by adult movie director Jack Horner (Burt Reynolds). At the time, Adams is working as a busboy, and moonlighting as a hustler. He quickly moves in with Horner, mostly to escape his dysfunctional homelife, and quickly makes himself known in the thriving world of Los Angeles' porn industry.
so we have three Creeds for last name so thats that, and an even split betwen dirk, simo and Ursarkar for first names, male seams to be the winning sex
As the film progresses, Diggler becomes a huge star during the 1970s, his name reaching the mainstream. Diggler's movies were very popular, possibly due to his above average size penis. He also has an active sex life off-camera, in addition to the actresses he had sex with on film. But along with his money and fame comes its downsides: one of his co-workers commits suicide, and Diggler himself becomes addicted to cocaine and methamphetamine.He tries at one point during the early '80s to turn his porn industry success into a musical career, but fails miserably due to financial difficulties and because his song "You Got the Touch" was frightful. By the early 1980s, Diggler's drug habit, as well as the arrogance it fuelled, has almost ruined him. He is no longer in demand by adult film producers because they had newer, younger actors. As a result, he loses most of his money, and he begins wandering the streets, hustling for enough money to have a place to stay. One of his customers even brutally beats him. After witnessing the shooting death of a friend during a drug deal gone wrong, he reconciles with Horner and starts making movies again. In the final scene, a homage to Raging Bull, he is shown in his dressing room staring at his penis and reviewing a script for an upcoming movie since he was once again working for Horner.
>Alright so we are Mr. Dirk CreedNext Choose world (just some simple things like tech level, population density, climate around your starting location, and if other races/exotic wildlife exist)
Some kind of dieselpunk world
>>7269085World is Tech Tier 0 barren worldWhere we come from is high tech so controling supply pads is a must.
>>7269085Steampunk+magic setting (think Shadowrun in the early 19th century with most of the magic used by devices rather than spells where your power is apparently decided by how awesome your beard/moustache/sideburns/... is)
We're a /k/ommando browsing fa/tg/uy with a cache of modern weapons and survival equipment, MAGICALLY TELEPORTED to some county in Europe during the Renaissance.
A world with alot of volcanic activity, local tech level is quite low but there are a number of long abandoned refineries and mines situated around the magma pits.Population is mostly centered around the non-volcanic mountains and the few plains on the planet.Climate ranges from extremely harsh near the volcanoes, arid on the mountains, and temperate on the plains.
>>7269108>>7269109>>7269114For some reason what I get from all that issteampunk during transition to deisel, with magic, with densly populated cities, but the cities are far apart on a desert world. Duno why, but unless object we can go with it oo combine with >>7269146 for volcanic deserts.
rolled 2, 2, 4, 1, 1, 3, 3, 2, 5, 3, 5, 1, 3, 3, 4, 3, 3, 2, 2, 4, 2, 3, 1, 3, 4 = 69>>7269085I got this. Let me bust out the charts.
>>7269176But if it's a desert world, how can you get enough food to feed the huge cities?
>>7269203Magic? (or the cities are large due to being the only springs/water sources and thus agriculture)
>>7269203Thats a solid point, I guess I was just getting kinda caught up in "The Spice Must Flow".Sides technicly I only want the local area to start not the whole world, so we can import from more farmable areas.
>>7269228Also, why diesel if there's magic?That aside, shall we begin?
>>7269249How about magic diesel?
>>7269249Think arcanum but with with tech just transitioning from steam to deisel.>One more choice to be madeChoose initial class (note classes are very general, thus a warrior could be the greatest martial artist ever, A hulking brute as big as 10 men, or a super powered cape complete with flight and laser eyes, later more specific subclasses will be available)Warrior: It’s you against the entire world, which hardly seams fair. Maybe you'll just use your left hand.Pros- The warrior is a powerhouse in and of himself, a one man army if there ever was one. Almost all options increase its prowess in combat and has access to the greatest of personal abilities, or its ability to shake of damage.Cons- managerially weak, the warrior will have few options to improve minions or henchmen, and almost no ability social abilities beyond intimidation.Sergeant: No one can do everything themselves, but never underestimate the power of a team. You lead one such team, and lead it by example at the front.Pros- A competent soldier, but the real strength of the sergeant comes from boosting and receiving help from his henchmen. Starts with two henchmen.Cons- The Sergeant is a bit of a generalist, and thus will have few ground breaking options.General: Everyone knows that wars are won with the sweat and blood of your troops, but only a fool leads from the battle field.Pros- Options deal with supporting large amounts of minions, and grand strategies. Starts with 30 minions, of any combination of Soldier, Bureaucrat, or ScoutCons- You personally are not much tougher than the next guy.
>>7269272Profit: Your quest to rule the world is not just greed or personal desire, its divine mandatePros- Many of your options make it easy to convert people to your cause, often without conflict. Though sometimes unreasonable, your henchmen and minions are very loyal. Starts with choice of patron deity, and 10 minions any combination of Priest, Fanatic, or 2xfollower.Cons- At least for the time being you are still just a man, additionally opposing religions will increase the rate opposition raises against you.Exotic: Be it magic or SCIENCE! You wield peculiar powers and/or devices to achieve your goals in unexpected waysPros- You can do amazing and unexpected things. Starts with two assistant minionsCons: We weren’t joking about the unexpected part, your powers/creations often don’t do quite what you wanted.Alternatively you can write in a classNotes. Henchmen are like sidekicks, they will have names and abilities of their own. Minions are rank and file and are defined solely by their class/job.
>>7269272General! The true hero is one who commands other heroes.
Steampunk Lincoln. Boxer + adventurer + inventor.Dr. Emmet Brown and a late 19th century bare knuckle boxer mixed together.
>>7269284Also, not to be harsh, it's prophet. Profit is what comes after ???
Biologymancer. Using mad science creatures enchanced with magic!
>>7269298true, but hey, maybe you suport a god of commerce?
>>72693201. Get prophetic dreams2. ???3. Profit?
>>7269311Would be within the exotic class.
Sergeant, of course.Best of all worlds, all the time.
PistoneerSome kind of diesel wizard
TURN DIZ GUY INTO A MEME PL0XXXXXXhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2JniXBhrrY
Well I am going to fix breakfast, so that will give yall about 10 min to think it over, just remember the classes are broad.
>>7269311This sounds good. We can inspire absolute, biological, loyalty in our minions, and make ever more terrifying ones if we wish.Seconded.
If the name is Creed then we must be a General
So it a two vote tie between exotic, and general.
Exotic fuck year.
>>7269433A Major-General! The very model of a modern Major-General!
Well I will give 5 minutes for people to speak up for either General or exotic (focused on genetic modification). Also note that with choices latter in the game you can work one into the other (a general who starts getting science/magi to start moding his troops, or an exotic who makes enouph minions to have an army). Curently general is winning by one vote
Genomancer FUCK YEAR.We will build our very own atmy of biological monstrosities.
General, if only for the tactical genious.
>>7269311I agree, playing god is the way to go.
Shit..Can we not be the very model of a modern exotic general?
>>7269696you can, but you'll have to start as just one
>>7269653I vote genetic exotic, with a view to becoming general-ish later.
>>7269696We should become the Hivemind.Best of both worlds, really.
So... We're going with exotic, I take it?>>7269714FINAL DESTINATION.
>>7269653General! We can learn the modification stuff later. With more hands to work on it'll be easier too.
Indeed starting class is Exotic. I was going to give a bunch of perk choices and let people pick 4. (making up the perks after classes are choosen, cus who wants to make up a massive list of perks and only have 20% of them even be selectable at start). But as the plan is Biomancer it looks like 2 ranks Mad SCIENCE! (genetics)1 rank Arcane (life)1 rank Arcane (transformation)
>>7269765I guess that's allright.
>>7269765This good for everyone?Also due to the slant of Mr Dirk Creed, we may exchange one of our assitant minions for a Loyal Beast minion.If there are no complaints then we shall we set the scene
>>7269765Consider putting two ranks in Arcane:Life rather than Science:Genetics, but otherwise that's cool with me
>>7269765Hmmm... sounds good, still, I'm game.Start the conquest already! I am ready to hear women wailing for their dead husbands and children!
>>7269840I don't really care, tho, so unless anyone else agrees, carry on as is
>>7269840>They think the world will be saved by oil and bronze, but you know better, oil and bronze may help, but it is LIFE and blood that will bring us to the next age, to your age. The city will know your genious, the whole world will know, and recogonize, and be better for it. But we must start small, your lab is barely stocked, and your funding is almost out. If you are to make this desert our base of power you must get to work.
>>7269941your equipment1 assitant minion (knowlegeable enouph in your feilds to help you out, but not enouph to do esperiments on its own)1 Loyal beast (A catlike creature you have created, extremely hardy and desert resitant)1 lab, poorly stocked3 viles mutagen12 crystals (used as magic foci)400 script (basic curency, can be exchanged for gold or water)
>>7269941What we will need are specimens. Let's find some resource on exotic forms of wildlife. Or what do we already know about the crazy wildlife in these parts? Desert ecosystems tend to have quite a bit of toughness in their creatures.
>initial choicesGo hunting for specimen (human)Go hunting for specimen (animal)Atempt to gain grantsRefine mutagensCreate mutagensWander the streats.Gather materials (legitly or illeagaly)
>>7270009For our first action, I suggest we look for specimens, specifically insects and rodents. They are not too hard to find, easy to contain, don't require a lot of food and might be handy due to numbers and their small size.
>>7269982The Desert is rife with hardy creatures, ranging from the poisenous kopla snake to the panther like Volhounds (what your beast minion is based on). The nearby mountains are volcanic and mined for both metals and arcane crystals. The small magma beasts near the mountains are non-agresive, but dangerous to handle (they are made of molten rock afer all)
>>7270009Go hunt for humans! Go to a bar and pretend to be gay. Cruise for young strapping gentlemen and take them back to the lab to be mutated.
>>7270052No, you fool! If we start kidnapping people right now, people are going to be suspicious! And we're probably prime suspects! I don't think we can defend ourselves against an angry mob or the guards with just one monster minion and one assistant! We must wait until we are either strong enough, completely unknown or liked enough! Maybe if we want human bodies we could ask the local crime lords for a favor. We get some specimens in trade for some of our services. Then again, that might me risky (crime lords trying to kill us for failure, rival crime lords, ...) so we must proceed with caution, especially since we are so weak right now.
>>7270042this would be advisable. let's start small. swarms of mutated flies are just as deadly, really.
>>7270088Well then, maybe we'll go with insects. I'm thinking if we could create a twisted ecosystem. An entire, self sustaining, self consuming and regenerating army, unstoppable, inexorable.
>>7270098So... lay out some fly traps? or maybe catch some rats?
>You choose to serch for animal specimen for your experiments.You and your assitant step outside the city gates, the guard waves and reminds you curfew is in a few hours, and no one wants to be in the desert at night. You weave a small life seach spell through a crystal, as a small spell it wont consume the crystal itself. The largest source of life is obviously the city behind you, though there is suprising concentration about 3 leagues to the north, it would be cutting it close with time but could be interesting. There are two smaller concentratoins to the east, and only half a league. Nothing to the west is large or plentiful enouph to trigger your spell.
>>7270143Hmmm... maybe we should stay in the city. Look around for any random small animals walking by.Would just want to see exactly what our mutagens can do, really, so it doesn't really matter...
>>7270152Seconding this. There are obviously going to be more insects and rodents in a large city than in a desert.Though maybe it wouldn't hurt to go check out the nearest concentration of animals outside the city. You might never know, right?
>>7270098Insectoid ecosystem that's self sustaining warrior machine?Insectoid orks?
>>7270143Incidentally, what does our assistant look like? If it's not a he, hunchbacked, and all malformed, fire him and get a new one. A proper biomancer's aide should look like he's had a bit too much mutagens mixed in his nightly glass of milk.
>>7270201Sounds good, that, doesn't it?And yeah let's stay in the city first. Explore outside tomorrow when we have more time (and daylight).
You check your watch and decide that the more common rodentia and pests of the city would be better test subjects for the time being.>options (note you can always write in your own options if those presented do not apeal)Check the sewersDumpster divePut some food and water on your porch and see what comes knockingGo for a stroll and keep your eyes out.Purchase some traps from a local pest control store.Tell your assitant minion to do any of these>>7270216>The minion is an average looking labtech, though you may experiment on him if you desire, it will sorely test loyalty. Perhaps later you can upgrade him to a henchman which will have more individual characteristics
>>7270298Well let's get the assistant to do a dumpster dive, while we leave some food out and stay home. A bit of a loyalty test to start with.
>>7270312>>7270341You suggest to your minion that you need some base genetic stock, and that such stock often hangs out around dumpsters, especialy near restourants or other, pungent locations. You take some left over meat stew and a saucer of water and place it out for the strays, watching from your windw.>I need a d8 for the assitant and a d20 roll for you
rolled 5 = 5>>7270403Rolling for self
rolled 1 = 1Rollan for assistant...
rolled 3 = 3>>7270408Rolling for assistant (don't know how to make two diffrent rolls in one post)
rolled 4 = 4minion
>>7270408>>7270419I hope we were aiming low.
rolled 8 = 8>>7270441Sure fucking hope so becuase that would be brilliant. Oh well. If the assistant fails miserably we could always use it as an excuse to force mutagen on him.
>>7270408>>7270419>oo, ouch we were aiming high.Not but a small dog came near your stew (perhapps you are not as good a cook as you thought?) but it was out of sight by the time you got to the door. After a few hours your assitant has not returned. >optionsSearch for assitant.Call authoritiesWait longer
>>7270510Are we even allowed to go look for him? It's probably been a few hours, so the curfew would probably already be in place.
>>7270538>Curfew is for being outside the city, no one in or out after dark.
>>7270569Oh! Well then, let's go look for him. Maybe we can get our monster minion to help? Is it a good tracker?
>>7270579>Your beast is based off the volhound, which have a excelent sense of smell, if dull hearing.You retreive one of your assistants spair goggles (its steam/diesel punk, EVERYONE has goggles) for your beast to get the scent and head off to the area your assitant was checking.> I need 3d20 take the highest
yeah, monster minion to help tracking the assistant minion, probably dead by now.
rolled 13, 1, 16 = 30Rien ne va plus.
rolled 16, 2, 17 = 35here^_^
>>7270653Your beast picks up the scent raceing ahead, and down back alleys. You see your assitant face down, next to him a specimen container with a hole in it. He is alive but unconscious, there is an obvious bite mark on his hand near the container.
>>7270727Oh dear. Examine the bite mark. No wait, take the assistant out first, then examine the bite mark. Is it... a spider, perhaps?
>>7270786The hand has swolen and is reacting poorly, unfortunatly due to the reaction its imposible to tell what bit him other than it was venomous. You are in some luck however, being unconscious slowed his heart rate, and thus the poisen hasnt spread far. If your quick you may be able to save him. Maybe even salvage some venom.
>>7270851that was me, I'm readin other threads too and the name fell off :/
>>7270851Make a tourniquet out of something to cut the blood flow, then. And then attempt to force some of the envenomed blood out and collect it. Never know what we might be on to...
On the bright side, if we're forced to amputate we can probably grow him a better hand and graft it onto him
>>7270890you begain to tear your coat, think better of it, and tear a strip off your assitants coat to make a tourniquet. This should buy you the time for your next decision. You try to press some venom out of the wound, and suceed in extracting a yellow puss, mixed with some blood from the bite.>optoinsTake assitant to a medical facilityTake assitant to your labAttempt to help assitant here. >note, your genetic knowledge does include some medical know how, but it still is MAD SCIENCE! Alternativly you could work some magic, but spells can be unpredictable at times and it would expend one or more crystals from your inventory.
>>7270975TO THE LABCAVE! *spinning mad scientist head followed by Adam West batman theme music*
Try our own lab, if only to avoid having to pay for his medical bills.
>>7270996>Upgrade Acheived: Theme MusicYou decide that the equipment in your lab will help you more than the time you lose by takeing him their, and it avoids any uncomfortible questions from the apothicary. You manage to drape him over your beast, who dispite growling a bit, manages to resist the urge to shake off the wieght. Its dark and you can hear the sandstorms outside the city, but the trip to your lab is uneventfull. OptionsAtempt to brew an antivenom (will use most of the collected puss)Remove the arm (atempting to grow a new one, or buying a mechanical one can come later)try a spell
>>7271108Cut it off!
>>7271147>You decide that the surest way to save his life is to cut it off before the venom spreads, or at the very least thats what your going to tell him.You apply some anesthetic, and prep your saw. Fortunately hacking off a limb is fairly easy, preventing blood loss takes some more effort, but still not difficult. You seal the removed hand and forarm into a speciman container, mayhap you will be able to extract a more usable amount of venom after all.
I'm Thinking a new arm... a Clawed one, phearps?
>>7271313Any way we could make a quick and dirty replacement?... Does our magic and science only extend to living things, to start?
Also, remember to shake head to minion on his incompetence...
He definately needs some sort of utility arm, like inspector gadget.
>>7271313Oh you know what, why not look around our own lab for insects. Alternatively sit down and write a grant application since we have nothing to do in the meantime.
Well guests are arriveing, I need to go be sociable, so this will be an endpoint for the day, I wouldnt expect another thread tommorow (what with it being Christmas and all) but will likely continue on the 26th, though will likely start later in the day.Also you will get an upgrade, either an increase one of the current ranks, some extra ability, or some things else, you people can brainstorm, If I see something apropriate I will put it in the options for next time.Happy Holidays