bump

that shark looks like a good guy to have in my company, i'd like to hire him

Its on their website.

www.rackham-e.com/en

>>10086171
For what position?

>>10086184
marketing and customer service

>>10086198
He's an accountant, though. He studied Accountancy & Accounting Law at Cornell.

>>10086219
i don't have a position open in accounting at the moment though... oh well

tis a shame

>>10086234
He's got three shark kids to feed, man! His CV was a masterpiece!

>>10086253

Then he should take that Marketing / CS position. C'mon, any moron can run marketing and CS. It'll be a cakewalk.

>>10086280
I don't know. Does that job have a future? Ira A. Shark doesn't want to get trapped in that kind of pay band.

>>10086300
NEVERMIND I WAS TRICKING YOU IM JUST A SHAAAAAAAAAARK

>>10086280
My "business firm" has an "accounting" position open for a shark of his caliber and dapperness.

>>10086313
IM A SHAAAARK

>>10086313
There's something suspicious about you...

Why does your belt say 'Henry Jones Fish Cannery'?

>>10086300
50k a year starting, full health coverage and 401k plan

it's a relatively new chain, only 20 stores

pay grade rises as more stores open

IM A SHARK AAAAH

>>10086331
Because I'm a "legitimate businessman" and you should shut up before I "account" your kneecaps.

>>10086352
Sharks don't have kneecaps.

This thread is jawsome.

>>10086359
A wise guy, aye? Maybe I should have my "legal" division "put you through the ringer" and make you "sleep with the fishes".

>>10086372
That's not even innuendo.

>>10086335
Fine. Ira A. Shark accepts your offer.

>>10086379
excellent, you start work on monday

oh yes, before i forget, our stores sell home decorations based on non-euclidean geometry

so get to work on upselling that

>>10086418
That's fine, I had extensive experience with non-euclidian accounts as rector of Miskatonic University.

ITT: SHAAAAARKS

>>10086429
glad to have you aboard Mr. Shark

>>10086418

Sir? It's Craig in shipping. That crate of Klein bottle wine decanters we were supposed to be getting in? Well we got the crate, but it's not Klein bottles. It's... well, it's apparently some shovel-wielding individuals in greatcoats and gas masks.

>>10086450
Again?

That's the third time this month.

Tell the engineers to recalibrate the 4th dimension resolution array, and this time it better stay calibrated!

>>10086450
HOLY FUCK IT'S A FUCKING SHARK OH GOD IT'S GOT MY ARM WHY WHY IS THERE A SHARK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

>>10086450
>klein bottle decanters
My head now hurts...

am I the only one who remembers Shawks?

always check for gills

Sharks

>>10086514
They are awesome.

>>10086465

I would, sir, but there's been something of a SNAFU in engineering. It appears that they won't exist until next Thursday. You want me to call in an outside contractor?

>>10086552
*sighs*

Fine, call the usual guys.

Why does this always happen on thursdays? You know they won't be finished today or tomorrow, and that means i'll have to work the weekend, again. My wife is going to kill me.

>>10086552
Oh yes, before i forget. What was the engineering department playing with this time? I'd like to know so that when the department exists again i can take it away from them and never let it see the light of day, EVER!

>>10086580
>Why does this always happen on thursdays?

One of the engineering wonks explained it to me as some sort of confluence of temporal flux yadda yadda blah blah.... I think he was just blowing smoke, and they do it intentionally. Long weekends.

>>10086616

I believe they were trying to shunt Accounts Payable five years into the future, and Accounts Receivable into last March. That way we'd get the overdue penalties on AR, which would completely cover AP. If I'm recalling correctly, it was YOUR idea, sir.

>>10086678

Or rather, it WILL be your idea.

>>10086678
Didn't I tell you guys not to listen to me when I'm drunk?

I could have sworn I told you guys not to listen to me when i'm drunk.

Oh god, I hate this job, I need a drink.

>>10086702

Sorry, sir. When I saw your planning doc, your writing seemed quite legible. Then again, the fact that it was written on a dead hooker should've been a red flag.

Speaking of, Jenkins in Dead Hooker Disposal says the department's way over quota for the month, and we're looking at a serious budget crunch if we don't cut back. Maybe we should talk to Engineering when they re-exist, see if they have a spare Schrödinger apparatus laying around. BAM, no more dead hooker, and we won't have to keep bothering Procurement for more live ones. Two birds with one stone.

>>10086418
>>10086429
>>10086450
>>10086465
>>10086552
>>10086580
>>10086616
>>10086678
>>10086692
>>10086702
>>10086761

>>10086761
Sounds good, make it classy, we can sell them off for a profit afterwards.

Speaking of Schrödinger apparati, have we worked out the bugs in the uncertainty collapse?

If we can get that working properly we can build our isohedrical chairs so they won't eat occupants, and I'd really like our chairs to bring us repeat customers, as opposed to one off sales.

>>10086817
Hey guys, you remember that rival company we shunted into an alternate reality last year? Yeah, they're back. And now they have crabman accountants.

>>10086838
RrrrrRAAAAAARGH!! KILL EVERY FILTHY CRABMAN!!!!

>>10086838
Crap, and our engineering department is gone for the week, so we can't count on them shunting it off again for a while.

Do we still have tabs on that group of psionic squid? They may want a taste of some fresh crab men.

>>10086838

>>10086861
You hate crabmen? excellent, how would you like a $15k a year raise and having charge of our anti-supra-dimensional visitors department?

>>10086866

>>10086817

Garzag the Filthy in Hyperspatial Troubleshooting actually figured that one out. Turns out, all they needed was an eigenstate anchor a piece, and no more ceased customers. It's all of a $3 fix.

Hiring those Torian Time Eaters was a brilliant idea, sir. Hard-working, proactive, and cost us effectively nothing. Well, the natural lifespans of celebrities, but they weren't using them in the first place.

>>10086956
What a coincidence. Christopher Lloyd is holding on lines 1, 3, 7, and 11. He would like to have a word with a supervisor. Shall I patch him through?

>>10086956
Hot damn! About time something went right with this company, set up a discount on any two items purchased with one of our chairs.

Also is there anyway we can convince the torians to eat the lifespans of celebrities we hate first?

>>10087018
Uhh... i think i'll let customer service handle that one.

>>10087048
Though it's been a while since I helped draft their contract, I believe allowing them free discretion was part of the stipulation that let us get them so cheap.

>>10087077
RIght-o. He says he's in a hurry, as he has Michael J. Fox on the other line, and he keeps hanging up by accident.

>>10087085
Renegotiate with the Teamsters Union, tell them to switch the conditions or we take away the free resfreshments at meetings and start hiring Apodoxian Hyper-Frogs.

>>10087085
Oh well, was just a passing fancy anyways

they're good enough with the fiddly bits that i wouldn't want to even try to renegotiate such a cost effective contract

>>10087111
>>10087125
Your inverse twin is popping up again, sir. Should I get security?

>>10087105

Patch him through to Paradoxes. They won't be able to help him, so they'll solve his problem.

>>10087085

Besides, they're working through the backstock right now. The 27 Club should keep them busy for a while. Did you know Kurt Cobain was supposed to die from emphysema at age 84? Funny how things work out.

>>10087111
That sounds like a good idea. I am thinking it might give us some leeway to bring up the cross-promotion that's being done with some of the celebrities that are interested in contracting with us. Would it be appropriate to test this job with Mister Ira A. Shark?

>>10087142
Indeed, and stop storing my beer in the same fridge that the quantuum researchers store their test items, I don't care how much longer it makes them stay frosty.

>They won't be able to help him, so they'll solve his problem.

>>10087184
With all due respect, sir, I really don't see how this is bothering you. For every one that winks out of existence another one pops into existence somewhere else, just as frosty. There's only a mildly typical tendency for it to appear somewhere completely unknown to any of us.

so, is anyone else thinking "quest based on the trials and tribulations of an owner of a non-euclidic decorative knick-knack store chain"?

cause if so, i may start one up, after i sleep

>>10087233
Yes, but the multiple temporal clones issue gets annoying after a while.

>>10087164
You really shouldn't encourage him.
>>10087184
Yes, sir.
Oh, and that sentient energy cloud from Carcosa is waiting in the executive lounge. We're not sure what it wants.

>>10087256
I've got time right now, bring me my faraday suit, I'll meet with it after I change.

>>10087233

Then there was the time it appeared where Richards' liver was supposed to be, can and all. Fun times.

>>10087256

If it's anything like last time, it'll be something about "THINGS UNKNOWABLE AND INSCRUTABLE TO PUNY BEINGS OF MATTER". Y'know, a kickback.

>If it's anything like last time, it'll be something about "THINGS UNKNOWABLE AND INSCRUTABLE TO PUNY BEINGS OF MATTER". Y'know, a kickback.

Line so stolen.

>>10087234
I am sure various GURPS sourcebooks can help out here, if you were looking to extrapolate all this into an actual campaign after a quest thread.

>>10087410
I wouldn't be surprised, now I just need a group to do it with, my normal group wouldn't get into it all that well.

>>10087234

I'd play it and love the hell out of it. A word of warning, though: the sciencey types will be on you like stank on a hambeast if you don't know your wacky esoteric theoretical stuffs.

Oh, and you should name the place Pier √−1. And if you don't get that joke, you DEFINITELY shouldn't run it.

>>10087611
I was planning on technobabble, which i can do pretty well since doing more than that would require research

especially where you're working almost completely with non-euclidean math, since nobody actually knows any

Does this deserve archiving?

>>10090950
Shark always needs archiving.

>>10090968

Archived:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/10086086/

Apparently, suptg doesn't like the phrase "Pier √−1".