Fuck yes!

Ten minutes.

I can't wait.

>>10214364
Ten minutes to many.

IS TONIGHT THE NIGHT WE FUCK ALICIA?!

Cool.

Great, more Time Trolls. At least OP pic is more interesting to look at than Mr. Bean.

What is this I don't even?

>see succubus pic, empty post
sweet, a demongirl thread, can never have too many demongirls...

>notice name is not anonymous
FUCK... YES...

What id the faggotery?

How is it that the Demon Queen of Sex isn't one of the first people we fucked?

WHAT HAS COME BEFORE:

First Chapter: Part 1: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9047710/

Most Recent Chapter: Not sure, the archive seems to be down.

If you want to find the rest, they should be tagged "Maid Quest" on the archive.

-----

If you're pathetic enough to follow this fucking shit on twitter, it's at http://twitter.com/maidquesttg

-----

You are a young man who has suddenly come into an unexpected inheritance: a rather large mansion and a sizeable amount of money. However, your rather eccentric uncle has put a secret rider in his will: in order to inherit the money, you must:

1. Repair the rather old and decaying house.
2. Hire a full staff of maids to upkeep it.

At least, that's the basic idea. Things have gotten confused since then.

-----

As the Quest continues, you find yourself standing in a kitchen. There is a cat sitting behind a DM screen with a bunch of dice on one side, and some RPG books on the other. It pauses in the middle of taking some notes and looks up at you.

"Hi there," he says. "I'm the DM. When you wake up, it will be Day 14 of 30, and about the halfway point through this Quest. So I thought I'd take a moment to give you a bit of a rundown on how you're doing.

>>10214511
it... uh... never came up... no innuendo intended

Let's start with you.

Your stats:

Athletics: 4
Affection: 2
Skill: 4
Cunning: 3
Luck: 2
Will: 2

-----

Loot
Alien Repair Bots
Reticulan Combat Android in a Sphere
Demonic Ace of Spades - Alicia's Phylactery
Silver Key
Occult Book
Sword
Alicia's Locket, containing Kat's Love

--Your Costumes:--
Magician (Magic Missile, Shield, Ritual Magic)
Bloodline Sorcerer (Reality Warping)

--Unassigned Costumes:--
None

--Mansion Status:--
Facilities: Beachfront property, Huge Yacht ("Kat"), Secret Passages (Connects Master Bedroom to Maid Quarters).
Kitchen: Average (3 of 5) -> Quest: HIRE A CHEF
Decor: Good (4 of 5)
Gardens: Average (3 of 5)
Repair: PERFECT (6 of 5)
Beach: Good (4 of 5)

-----

You're doing fairly well in terms of your stats, but looking at your work on the mansion, it needs some work. I'd suggest taking some time to improve it when you have the chance: you've only cleared one of the mansion traits.

>>10214529
>Time for a progress update
FUCK YEAR!

>>10214586
Fuck! It's not all A's my parents are going to kill me.

Next up, Reginald, your Butler.

Type: Shadow/Elite

Special: Glasses, Former Mercenary

Weapons: Machinegun, Striking Martial Arts

Power: Super Evasion, Trap

Athletics: 6
Affection: 1
Skill: 4
Cunning: 6
Luck: 3
Will: 7

-----
Reginald is father to Samantha, your head maid. You have made a pact with him to duel him, man to man, for the right to marry Samantha at some later time. At the moment, you have no chance to defeat him. You'll need to train more or come up with some plan to avoid his insanely high combat skills.

awesomeness Now we must kill the enemy

Next is Samantha, your Head Maid. She's a sweet, kind, nice girl who also happens to be a highly trained marksman and skilled in all manner of weaponry ranging from a handgun to a tank cannon.
-----
Type: Pure / Pure
Level: Devoted

Special: Accent (British), True Devotion

Weapons: Guns

Colors: Silver hair, Black eyes, Green and White uniform.

Athletics: 1
Affection: 2
Skill: 5
Cunning: 3
Luck: 3
Will: 2

-----
You have basically "Cleared" Samantha, and if you can defeat Reginald in single combat, you will earn the right to marry her. This is somewhat complicated by the fact that Samantha isn't exactly a sweet innocent girl, and seems to want to rush matters. . .

Can we just get to the quest? I really want to get out of hell.

>>10214586
Well then. Set everyone sensitive to work on the Decor, and set everyone Grunt-like to work on the Beach, while the main dude goes out and buys a chef.

I'm thinking:
Felicia, CARMINE!, Reginald, Katherine -> Beach
Samantha, Jehanne, Alicia, Koyomi -> Decor
Protagonist -> Get a chef.

>>10214704
Aka Legs

Next up, Katherine, your redheaded Tsundere.

Katherine, the Tsundere
Type: Boyish / Cool

Special: Trap (Really a boy), Amnesiac

Weapons: Knife

Colors: Red hair, Yellow eyes, Black uniform with Beige

Athletics: 4
Affection: 0
Skill: 3
Cunning: 3
Luck: 2
Will: 1

-----
Katherine, being a cute spunky redhead, was a popular favorite early on until it was discovered she was actually a man, leading to the first major controversy of the quest. She has currently lost her transgender identity and her love for you, and exists as Kristoph, one of your male valets.

After we get out of hell, we really need to go see our proctologist.

Koyomi
Type: Heroine/Lolita

Stress X: Mischief

Colors: Green Hair, Green Eyes

Athletics: 2
Affection: 1
Skill: 2
Cunning: 3
Luck: 3
Will: 0

-----
Koyomi, the scientist maid, is one of the three maids you have slept with so far. She used to work at Black Mesa, and is currently working on figuring out the truth behind the mysterious alien sphere you own. Not much to her so far.

>>10214820
I take it you switched the pictures of Katherine and Felicia there.

>>10214822
we can make it a day trip, bring a picnic and the girls

Jehanne
Type: Sexy / Pure

Special: Armor, Masochist

Weapons: Giant Sword, Bikini Armor

Colors: Long Blonde Hair, Blue eyes, Silver Armor

Athletics: 4
Affection: 2
Skill: 2
Cunning: 1
Luck: 2
Will: 1

-----
Jehanne is a former Paladin of Bahamut, whose distress at following a strict god led her towards masochism and self-abuse. With some help from you, you convinced her to convert to worship of Sehanine, goddess of love. She is the second of the girls you have slept with.

>>10214793
It's actually very important for us to know where we stand. Even more so if we're going for the 100% Clear/Best End.

>>10214822
There's gonna be a lot of explaining to do.

Waiting for carmine.

>>10214867

Oh goddamn it. May as well continue the trend.

-----
Felicia, the Catgirl
Type: Lolita / Sexy

Special: Really a Familiar

Power: Escape

Colors: Black fur, Cute :3

Athletics: 1
Affection: 2
Skill: 2
Cunning: 2
Luck: 4
Will: 2

-----
Felicia is a catgirl, playful and sexy. She used to be Alicia's familiar, but now spends most of her time warming your bed for you. PROTIP: Felicia will sex you up every morning you are in bed and improve your hidden "Sexual Talent" skill if you choose to have sex with her.

>>10214894
>Special: Armor, Masochist

I remember now, after visit the proctologist we may want to go to the local toy shop and buy ourselves some gags, chains, and other fun things.

>>10214940
>PROTIP: Felicia will sex you up every morning you are in bed and improve your hidden "Sexual Talent" skill if you choose to have sex with her.
So what would an all-night-long orgy with Felicia & some of our maids do for the skill?

SISTER CARMINE HOSTILITAS
Type: ANGRY/Sexy
Level: Neutral

Special: FUCKING ANGRY
ALWAYS ANGRY ALL THE TIME

Weapons: FUCKING POWERED ARMOR, YOU FUCK!

Power: FUCKING ANGRY!

Roots: ANGER!

Stress X: ANGER!

Colors: FUCKING WHO FUCKING FUCK CARES!?

Athletics: 2
Affection: 1
Skill: 2
Cunning: 4
Luck: 3
Will: 1

-----
Sister CARMINE HOSTILITAS is a character I'd REALLY like to forget. She's a female Angry Marine Half-Eldar Half-Vampire troll character that you fuckers for some reason decided to keep. Recently you decided to trade out her powered armor for a Sexy Commissar Outfit, changing her from a pure assault character to one with more of a clever, tactical mind. It also allows you to romance and perhaps bed her, which is impossible if she is ANGRY ANGRY.

>>10214966
also, ask alicia to teach you how to use them properly

wouldn't do to use them wrong and actually harm jehanne

>>10214993
What did you expect, you tempted us with angry sex so we just glossed over the vampire/eldar stuff.

Where the fuck is amazonian musclegirl werewolf wife

Alicia,

Special: Symbol: Ace of Spades

Power: 4-D Dress

Athletics: 2
Affection: 2
Skill: 4
Cunning: 3
Luck: 0
Will: 2

-----
Finally, there is Alicia.

You and she have a complicated relationship. She is intimately tied in to your family, and is the reason why part of your criteria for earning your inheritance was to sleep with three women: she had a geas on your family's souls, until you traveled to hell and destroyed her tower. Now she is nearly powerless, and bound to you by the might of a hundred lawyers.

Recently, you came back to hell to get back two souls which are important to Alicia, and to, perhaps, gain enough power to restore Katherine. You did, but at a cost: several demons who were hostile to Alicia captured you and tortured her.

You escaped, after awakening to your bloodline's true magic, and are now in a cave, resting away the injuries from your last battle.

Also, you are both naked.

>>10215039
I SEE NO MUSCLEGIRLS

>>10215052
> Power: 4-D Dress

First time in the quest here. What?

Summon a bat and escape hell either that or sex if our balls don't still hurt.

>>10215052
Attempt to sex the lolimaid.
Wait.
/tg/, are you okay with sexiing the lolimaid? You caused a shitstorm with trapmaid, so I figure I'll ask first this time.

>>10215052
I said this before & I'll say it again: when we wake up we have to start out the day right! TIME TO JACK OFF!

NOOOO I HAVE TO WAKE UP EARLY

CURSE YOU

>>10215198
The man knows his tradition.

>>10215198
seconded

So how do we get our Spirit up, we are going to deplete it fast with our lol magics

Then we can be CAINE, blink behind a child and SHOOT IT IN THE HEAD

Don't sex her now, but last few panels related after we escape.

>>10215052

After our triumphant self stimulation I humb- OOONCE OOONCE OONCE -ly suggest we use the secret stuff command word Goshujin-Sama had set aside previously.

Also remeber if we want to retain our awesome sanity then we need to be crafty and LAY OFF the more explicit magical effects.

Gotta sleep but someone else in the perv-mind has got to get the specifics, since the archives are down, from Goshujin-Sama in regards to our magic bloodline.

> The gaming cat puts away his notes and pushes up his glasses as he looks at you, steepling his hands and taking a sip of his martini.

"So, that's where we stand. Now, down to business."

"In honor of this, our approaching the half-way point of the Quest, I'm granting you one Boon. You may choose to apply this Boon as you see fit. Here they are, as follows."

Reginald - Reginald's Boon will activate a secondary Quest with him. It will cause the two of you to grow closer and become true bros. This will both increase your combat abilities and make the final duel against him easier.

Samantha - Samantha's Boon will activate a side quest with her. This one is more erotically oriented, so if you're a pervert, you'll probably really like this one.

Katherine - Katherine's Boon will immediately sidetrack her current tragic angst storyline and end it in a decent, amicable manner. If you're sick and tired of the homophobia and want to end this storyline quickly, you'll probably want this boon.

Koyomi - Koyomi's Boon completely remakes her character. It will end the storyline with the mysterious alien sphere and change her stats completely, into something much more powerful.

Jehanne - Jehanne's Boon will grant her an equipment upgrade. Think artifact-level power.

Felicia - Felicia's Boon activates a side storyline with her. Instead of just being a fuckbuddy, she will gain a true storyline. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't. Your call.

CARMINE - Carmine's Boon will drop her completely out of Angry Marine status. It will instead switch her to the Order Famulous Branch of the Adeptus Sororitas and immediately starts her romance storyline, instead of having to spend a lot of time to raise your relationship with her.

Alicia has no Boon. Sorry.

VOTE NAO.

>>10215288
Katherine.

Namely because of the OMG A TRAP I HATE FAGfaggots.

>>10215288
+1 for Sam

>>10215288
Alicia.
Failing that, Regi.

>>10215288
I love you and hate you at the same time. So many delicious choices.

>>10215288

CARMINE

>>10215288
Felicia boon

we must gain a talking catgirl

>>10215288
Either Samantha's, Jehanne's, or Carmine's

>>10215323
We can fix Kath's storyline already though, we'll get the locket and restore the love. I don't want to waste the boon on something we could get naturally.

Caramine, Koyomi, or Reginald.

Carmine.

Felicia or Carmine

Reg is titillating, but I believe we'll have lots of time to up those stats

>>10215355
Sadly enough, I've missed like, the last five ones in a row.

Currently Carmine is winning at three votes.

Voting continues.

>>10215388
Oh, well don't worry then. We went into hell for her and did an entire storyline where we killed some demons and got killed, Disneyland was involved.

Sam or Felicia

>>10215395
wait, if carmine is no longer always angry, then there's no angry sex

and angry sex was the entire reason for carmine

Just FYI: if you vote twice I am picking only your first choice. At the moment, Sam and Carmine are tied at three each.

Voting continues for a few more minutes.

>>10215415
Uh.

Well I think we should do Reginald.

Because even if we're best bros with him, that shit is going to be hard. The hardest fight yet, anyhow.

>>10215429


This guy has a point.

>>10215337 here. Can I change the vote to Sam?

>>10215429
By god this man is right. Switching my vote to Reginald.

>>10215447
Samantha is now winning, 4 votes to 2.

If we make Felicia our familiar by ourselves (Up her sense of self, gain full catgirl), then Carmine

>>10215439
I was the Alicia/Regi from earlier.

Switch my vote to Sam for the tiebreaker.

>>10215439
felicia, right now she's more of a pet rather than a part of the (eventual) harem you're working to aquire

Reginald. Mechanical boosts are a lot harder to get than roleplaying boosts.

>>10215460
This means I'm voting Carmine, yes

>>10215468
isn't that sort of the charm of her though?
catgirls that get elevated to sapience get sort of... meh...

Besides, Sam's the primary right?
with Jehanne as secondary

Voting ends in two minutes. Make any last minute changes now.

>>10215508
Change me to Reginald.

Fuck my vote not mattering.

Carmine

Carmine!

>>10215497
Nah, she's token. We didn't even have to try hard with the whole devoted trait. We should keep open to other less fetishy options

Voting over. Tallying now.

>>10215494
Reinstating my Carmine shift just in case

>>10215376
For reference this is my post that I wanted to switch the vote on.
>>10215448

All right, it's a coin flip. I need someone to roll 1d2.

>>10215572
I must ask.

You guys had ANGRY SEX with Carmine?

...how long was I out?

rolled 2 = 2

>>10215585

>>10215586
we haven't

this is why we should choose her for the boon

>>10215572
Wait a minute. Strike this.

Samantha wins.

come on sam

>>10215606
Incoming shitstorm.

>>10215600
dammit, shouldn't

>>10215606

YES.

Pic related, my face.

Damn, we would get the erocontent just by playing, too...

WAS IST DAS SHEIßE

> The gaming cat makes a note down on a piece of paper, then grins at you.

"Well, I guess that's it for now. Time to wake up. Also, here's a small word of advice: you don't always want to fuck someone first chance you get. Sometimes, it's better to wait."

>>10215684
wake up
masturbate

>>10215684
What do you think we're gonna do with Samantha?

It wouldn't be good unless it was after kicking her father's ass.

>>10215684
That's a hint about Alicia, I know it.

>>10215684
noted, lets not have sex with alicia after we wake up

SAVE IT FOR DISNEY!

>>10215716
it'd probably still be good... just not as sweet

>>10215634
Actually, no. This is a. . . side quest. There is no way you would have gotten THIS erocontent just by playing.

-----
As you wake up out of a very bizarre dream, you hear splashing coming from outside the cave. As you yawn and stretch out and walk outside, you find that the source of the splashing is Alicia.

She is sitting on the edge of a small creek with her feet in the water, and letting them splash. She is looking down at her reflection in the river, and smiling.

The fact that the river is full of drowning people unable to die, doomed to scream wordlessly and writhe at the bottom of this river for all eternity, doesn't seem to faze her.

>>10215684
Oh please, give us a chance for a nicer Carmine

>>10215743
masturbate

>>10215732
Sex on the Matterhorn.

>>10215743
Jump her butt

>>10215743
Go sit down beside her, and give hug.

summon cockbat?

>>10215760
2'nd

>>10215764
You know they have people in Disney whose job it is to watch for flashers on Splash Mountain and the Matterhorn, now?

>>10215760
>>10215712

As you sit there and watch her, you realize that something is missing. . . oh yes.

You grab your crotch and masturbate furiously. Maybe it's the sight of a naked loli sitting and dangling her feet in the river, or maybe it's several days worth of pent-up frustration, but it doesn't take you very long to start cumming white sperm all over the blasted landscape.

The sight of your cum giving Hell itself a facial fills you with a degree of satisfaction.

You are interrupted in your reverie by the sound of Alicia clearing her throat. "I like your work," she quips. "Very. . . avant-garde."

>>10215822
"Hey. When nature calls...and fapping is second nature for me. You Should Know This Already."

>>10215818
INVISIBILITY MAGIC, we got it now

Hey guys, I remember Kris being a good cook. If we work her issues out, I'm sure we can forget hiring a chef while giving her a feminine career

>>10215838
second nature?

>implying there's something you do more often

>>10215743
Sex up Alicia, then try to save a drowning person.

>>10215863
Adventures!

"Yeah, I didn't need that bothering me while running for my... third chance,wow"

>>10215822
Go sit beside her.
Ask how she's feeling?

>>10215822
I'd sign it for you but my pen is back home

>>10215838
this, also ask her how she's feeling after a nights rest

>>10215873

Not this. Don't trust Alicia.

>>10215838

"I do. I'm honestly just a little disappointed you didn't ask me to help." Alicia shrugs and stretches out a bit. "Anyway, we've got a long journey ahead of us, we should get going soon. What's your plan, oh my master?"

>>10215904
Wait, what? She's not tsundere for us any more?

...how long have I been out?

Don't sex Alicia, SUMMON COCKBAT, probably while getting her to help with the magic stuff

>>10215914
You ever played Mass Effect 2?

A few loyalty quests dedicated to one person.

>>10215873
"Damnit! There's people in trouble!" jump in and grab as many as you can

>>10215893
>>10215898

"Anyway," you ask. "How are you feeling? Any better after your night's rest?"

"I'm feeling fine. All over, too," she says, idly brushing a hand between her legs. "Seriously, I don't know how you managed it, but I'm feeling pretty good right now. How about you? You feeling all right? You were channeling a lot of power yesterday. . . I'm worried you might be pushing yourself beyond your limits."

>>10215904
we don't need help with that, plenty of practice already

we'll save anything more for when we're back home

>>10215931
But I've missed that much?

Trying to follow the current thread and catch up, like, on five is pretty hard, guy. I consider it lucky that I even found it. And I dismissed the thread as another succubus thread too.

>>10215904
use magic to summon bat, return home, start planning my revenge against what's-his-face for stealing my cherry...

>>10215949
I'll need to cool off a bit, but I think I'm getting the hang of things. I'll have time to practice later at home, after I summon a bat and get us out of here.

going to sleep, dammit

don't fail me tg

>>10215949
"You know me. One wank session first thing in the morning and I'm good as gold. I feel pretty good.

Now, how far away is your tower's ruins from here? And what's a good way to get there without attracting the attention of those other two demon lords?"

>>10215949
"This wouldn't be the first time I put out more than anybody expected."

Then summon BAT.

>>10215684
Mass Effect 2 proved this with Jack.

>>10215977
>>10215923
>>10215788
>>10215982

"I'll need to cool off a bit, but I think I'm getting the hang of things. I'll have time to practice later at home, after I summon a bat and get us out of here," you say.

"That's right," Alicia remembers. "Because nothing gets you out of hell like a bat."

"So. . ." you ask. "How exactly do I summon a bat again?"

"Simplicity itself," Alicia reminds you. "Now that you seem to have gained. . . a mysterious link to the source of all magic. . . you have gained the ability to warp reality by force of will. However, there is a side effect. The harder you try to warp reality, the more reality fights back. The more spells you cast, the higher the stress on your body. If it gets too high. . ." she makes a popping sound, like a champagne cork. "Just like that one movie where the guy's head exploded."

"Oh yeah," you remember. "I'll have to be careful."

"There are also long-term side effects. Channeling that sort of power is tough on the human psyche," Alicia reminds you. "Every time you cast a spell, there is a chance that your mind will Backlash. The more you Backlash, the further your mind will descend into madness. So be careful with your powers. You can't just use them willy-nilly."

"Is that genuine concern for me I hear?" you ask.

"Shut up," Alicia snaps, her cheeks coloring. "I'm just worried you'll blow yourself up before you get us the hell out of here."

>>10215949
Well how DO we feel?

> You have added a spell to your repertoire
> SUMMON BAT
> 1d3 Stress, 6+ Backlash

> Cast it now? Y/N

>>10215987
They went for the most hazardous and useless boon there is.

They've already failed you.

Okay, here we go. Bat-making time. "This wouldn't be the first time I put out more than anybody expected."

Do silly summoning circle

HUG OUR BAT DISGUISED DEMONESS TO CHANNEL THE WILLPOWER

>>10216060
so what kind of damage we looking at for displacing a bats location from a cave

as opposed to just using the magic to find the nearest relatively safe way out

>>10216096
Y.

I want to say something witty about
> the hell out of here
but nothing's coming to mind.

>>10216102
carmine would have been worse

cause then no angry sex

>>10216109
this
make sure we have a really silly happy face as we hug her, too

>>10216109
>>10216105
> "This wouldn't be the first time I put out more than anybody expected."

And with that, you snap your fingers and summon a BAT

> 1 Stress, no Backlash.

There is a sudden flapping of leathery wings, and a fucking bat the size of a 747 appears in the air above you, gliding sedately by.

"Wow. . ." you mutter. "I didn't really expect it to be that big."

>>10216157
grab on before it leaves hell without you

hold tightly to alicia

>>10216157
"Golly, I wonder what would happen if the internal organs of all my current enemies were to MAGICALLY vanish suddenly...?"

>>10216157
I think I saw this in a Miyazaki movie once. Wrap your hand around Alicia and the other holds on to the bat.

>>10216184
This anon is brave and wise.

>>10216157
Get on with Alicia, start singing that one song from Aladdin.

I wish we hadn't masturbated already because this would be the perfect time.

>>10216189

That spell is 20d6 stress, 2+ backlash, ten checks.

-----
>>10216215
>>10216184

You grab onto Alicia and reach up with your other hand to grab onto the bat's leg. The bat lets out a high pitched shriek as it flies off with you hanging on.

You take a moment to settle down on top of the bat's massive claws as you fly away into the sunset. . . except the sunset is the lurid red and gold glow of brimstone and sulphur. Alicia leans back against you as the bat continues its stately flight, biting her lower lip pensively.

"I wonder. . ." she says, then shakes her head. "Nah, forget it."

>>10216157
Attempt to seduce the bat (if the bat is a girl), in order to get the bat close enough to carry you out of hell.
If the bat is a boy, have Alicia seduce the bat.
Get out of hell!

Also, what is the protagonist's current Stress, and what has he accumulated in the way of permanent sanity damage?

>>10216257
nope, not gonna

ask me anything you want

"Guess who's going to Disneyland!"

>>10216257
You wonder how I kick so much ass and still have time to be a sexual dynamo? Because honestly I wonder that myself sometimes.

>>10216257
Hug that Alicia.
Let's see how the mistress of Nailbats is doing against the House Team.

>>10216257
oooh no you don't... speak up now little lady or - I swear - I will turn this bat around

>>10216257
Tell bat to head for Disneyland.

>>10216299
>>10216294
>>10216283

Alicia rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "Asshole. Do you ever stop fellating yourself? Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen anyone stroke their own ego more than you do. And that's not a masturbation joke."

>>10216284
This.

While giving her an overly enthusiastic hug, and winking.

>>10216257
"Something bothering you, Alicia?

Anyway, do you want to go straight home or go off and find Nerissa so we can taunt her?"

>>10216334
well... there's the times when others are fellating me...

>>10216334
not really

good for the health constant ego stroking is

makes me chipper and upright in the morning

and that IS a masturbation joke

>>10216335
>>10216328
>>10216284

"Don't worry about it," you say. "Let's go to Disneyland."

"What? Right now?" Alicia asks. "Seriously?"

"I guess we could. Why not? I mean, this bat can get us out of hell, it can get us to Disneyland, right?"

"Yes, but I think you've forgotten two things. First of all, we're naked."

"Easily remedied--."

"Secondly, we left behind a bunch of your maids and friends fighting demons back at your mansion. Aren't you at all worried about those idiots?"

>>10216348
nerissa is dead

she got mortared

>>10216257
>"I wonder. . ." she says, then shakes her head. "Nah, forget it."
I MUST KNOW!

>>10216368
fine, i guess we can take care of the little things first

lets head back to the mansion

>>10216334
"Listen, I am currently breaking out of hell for the second time in a month. I am like, double Doom-guy."

Pause, look her in the eyes.

"Seriously though, what's on your mind?"

>>10216368
We'll pick them up. Make a day trip out of it.

They can handle themselves. The major players in that fight left to take us home.

Also, ask if she checked up on HOGO's battle during the night.

>>10216368
... All right, let's go clean up the mess we made.

TO THE MANSION!

*Batman music!*

>>10216368

Wait, there's a fight back at the mansion?

Head there. DRAMATICALLY.

Make something explode just before we jump off the bat onto the lawn, so the smoke dramatically hides our crotch, pull on clothing before it dissipates. (I assume that being exposed with Reg and Sam there at the same time will result in BAD END.)

>>10216403
>>10216402

"All right. Let's go back to the Mansion, then," you tell Alicia. "We need to pick up the others to take them to Disneyland too."

"I . . . well. . . aww, forget it," Alicia sighs.

"What? Just tell me?" you say.

"Shut up. Not interested in hearing about it," Alicia pouts.

"Alicia, I am breaking out of hell for a second time on the back of a giant bat. Just tell me."

"All right, FINE!" Alicia shouts. "I don't want anyone else coming with us to Disneyland! Especially not that slut Samantha! If you want to take me there, you'll have to take me there by yourself, or it's no deal!"

". . . what do you mean no deal, you have nothing to bargain with. . ."

"SHUT UP!" Alicia shouts.

>>10216368
I'm sure flying out of hell is a good excuse to be naked. Let's just go with it

>>10216368
>"Secondly, we left behind a bunch of your maids and friends fighting demons back at your mansion. Aren't you at all worried about those idiots?"

You're right, of course. I guess discovering I'm magic and summoning a huge bat kind of distracted me. We'll go back and help, but the trip will probably take a little while, so why don't you tell me what's on your mind?

>>10216415
Seconding, also can we will ourselves some clothes? What would that be in terms of magic?

>>10216465
Fine. But we save our friends first, then we can have our..."romantic getaway".

>>10216465
"I guess I can do that... Man, you're really intent on this whole going to Disneyland thing, aren't you?"
>trollface.jpg

>>10216465
Give the little loli what she wants

>>10216465
Can we undo those last two lines of that?
She has plenty to bargain with, like the fact that she's no longer bound to us by contract.

And if we can undo that, just pause for a second and say okay.

>>10216465
allright, it's just you and me then

i'm not letting anything stand in the way of our trip to disney, and i want you enjoying yourself there

>>10216500
And a hug/hair ruffle.

>>10216500
>>10216497
>>10216484

". . . shut UP!" Alicia shrieks. "It's not romantic! It's . . . it's reparations for leaving me like this!" She tries to slap you, but her footing isn't very stable, so she nearly falls off, and winds up clinging tightly to you in the process.

Distracted by her antics, you're not sure when it happened, but by the time you stop laughing, the sky has changed color from blood red to cerulean blue. You are winging over the ocean towards the mansion, which seems to be on fire.

>>10216478
1d3 with 6+ backlash.
However, the exact type of clothes you get is random. Roll a d100 to determine what type of clothes you get. ;)

>>10216497
lol, this. We don't troll the maids enough anymore.

>>10216528
"looks like we're out of hell"

kiss her

>>10216528
...did they get our flowers?

If they got our flowers, it's go time.

>>10216465
"All right, just the two of us. But first we have to save the mansion."

>>10216528
I hope the morning glories are alright...

>>10216550
And then we went back to hell.

Again Again Again.

And conquered it in the name of Humanity (Fuck Year?)

rolled 95, 39 = 134

>>10216544
This.
>>10216535
Then this, for both of us.

>>10216528

Can we summon up a gun? Or maybe a missile? we have the sword, but we're firearms-trained, not stabby-trained.

Ahh, /tg/, the mansion can burn, the defenders may be dead, and we may be doomed, but god dammit the flowers had better be alright!

>>10216575
Ok.

I just need clarity.

How'd we die again?

>>10216528
DYNAMIC ENTRY
OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST
OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST
OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST

OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST
OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST
OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST

OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST
OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST
OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST     OONST OONST OONST

>>10216587
we've had knife training, close enough

>>10216597
Fire demon slit our throat.

>>10216600
I want to play tic tac toe on this.

Don't summon clothes. Fight naked, prey on their fears.

>>10216597
spat in a demons face as he held us by our throat

basically suicide

>>10216597
We fucked with two Demon Lords at once, then got in melee range of the stronger one.

>>10216584
why? land naked, be casual... not like any of them have yet to see any of it...

>>10216597
Got our throat ripped out by a frost demon, if I remember correctly.

Pretty sure it was the frost demon, at least.

>>10216601

Well, we're mounted on a bat. We can do air support.

And we need someting for Alicia to do. without her magic, plinking away with a pistol is probably the best she can do.

>>10216617
don't think carmine or reginald have seen us naked yet

>>10216597
Got killed by the demons chasing Alicia out of hell. So we were free for like 5 minutes, only to die again.

And have Alicia try to save us, b-but not cause she likes us or anything.

>Too Tsundere

Clothes are free, don't worry about it.

As you land and the bat flies away to God knows where, you can see that the mansion has become a war zone. The front lawn is on fire, there are particle accelerator shots whizzing back and forth. . . and oh yes. The Morning Glories are toast.

As you watch in horror, the burnt remnants of your flowering vines are trampled under the foot of a ten foot tall, red-scaled pit fiend.

>>10216609

Can we summon neo-tribal celtic woad bodypaint in lieu of clothes?

>>10216628
then it's about -damn- time

how are we not getting a raging boner holding onto a naked Alicia?

>>10216636
Find Reginald. Acquire guns. Find rest of maid squad.

RIP AND TEAR

>>10216636
"NOT MY GODDAMN MORNING GLORIES!!!"

RIP AND TEAR!!!

>>10216636
itsgotime.jpg

>>10216636
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffffffffffffffffffffff-

Oh. No. He. Didn't.

That did not just happen. Says the reality warping mage.

Did it?

>>10216636

se our magic to have the fiend slip and fall on something, then rush over and stab it in the brain through the eye socket while it's down. Using our looted sword.

>>10216652
When exactly do we NOT have a raging boner?

>>10216636
FUCK, we are the worst horticulturists ever.

>>10216636

Requesting status update on the mansion after the scene has ended.

>>10216667
>>10216663
>>10216660
>>10216659

Restore Morning Glories is a 1 Stress, 6+ Backlash spell. Cast it now?

>>10216637
>>10216652

These two combined, please.

>>10216652
Manhood is not determined by the size of a man's manhood, but the man's control over his manhood's growth.

>>10216687
YES

>>10216687
indeed

then rush the pit fiend with our looted sword, who cares if it's cursed at this point, it's time to kill

>>10216636
>The Morning Glories are toast.
>The Morning Glories are toast.
>The Morning Glories are toast.
>The Morning Glories are toast.
>The Morning Glories are toast.
>The Morning Glories are toast.
>The Morning Glories are toast.
>The Morning Glories are toast.

...
Initiate rage mode.
Cease all thought, feelings, morals, and non-rage-related actions.
Initiate rage mode.
Cease all thought, feelings, morals, and non-rage-related actions.
Initiate rage mode.
Cease all thought, feelings, morals, and non-rage-related actions.
Warning.
Rage mode initiated.
Warning.
Rage mode initiated.
Rage mode initiated.

 run while you can
  run while you can
   run while you can
    run while you can
     run while you can
      run while you can
       run while you can
        
        

>>10216687
Shouldn't we just destroy the fuck out of the demons, then restore the mansion a hundred percent?

I'm all for raging the fuck out of losing them but it seems smarter this way in the long run.

I just realized. We can use our new powers to make our penis as big and as sensitive as we want.

>>10216676
It's not our fault that aliens and demons hate us.

>thinks

Okay, so it definitely is. But screw that, we know when to take responsibility, and that time is now. And that responsibility is Vengeance.

My name is Goshujin-Sama. You trampled my Morning Glories. Prepare to die.

>Refuses to make innuendo laden pun about morning glories and our morning rituals.

>>10216636
>The Morning Glories are toast.

>As you watch in horror, the burnt remnants of your flowering vines are trampled under the foot of a ten foot tall, red-scaled pit fiend.

Disneyland will have to wait. For now we war. FOR THE MORNING GLORIES! SLAUGHTER THE FOOL WHO DARES DESECRATE OUR BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS! VENGEANCE! WE SHALL SLAKE OUR THIRST WITH IT'S BLOOD!

And on a less rage-fueled tangent: what about using the reality-warping to power up our normal magic, thus subtly influencing things? Maybe tap into excess magic in the area? There's definitely going to be what with all the demons & the portal to hell in our bedroom...

>>10216687
What about creating a huge, demon fighting morning glory?

LET THEM JOIN THE FIGHT FOR VENGEANCE.

get Jehanne to plant some more morning glories after we're done

>>10216693
i dunno where you were learned, sir, but when i was a child, i was taught that you cannot use the word you are defining in the definition. shame on you. say two hail mary's and think about what you've done.

>>10216736
Pit Fiend polymorphed into a morning glory.

Oh god its little shop of sexual deviants all over again.

>>10216736
Was actually wondering about this. Making it so the morning glories protect themselves would be pretty useful, not just for the moment, but in the future as well.

I'll be damned if we need to replace those fuckers again.

>>10216762
I'm pretty sure his first use of manhood was as in "being a man," and his other uses were about dicks. Not the same word, just spelled and pronounced the same.

What's the deal with morning glories?

>>10216707
>>10216699
>>10216692

> 1 Stress (2 total). Backlash incurred.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE DAMN MORNING GLORIES!" you scream, and raising your hands, cast a powerful spell. The morning glories rapidly regrow themselves into powerful, thick vines. . . that wrap around the Pit Fiend and start to strangle it.

"You can fuck with me, you can fuck with my house," you snarl, "but do NOT fuck with my flowers!"

And with that, you plunge the blade of the sword into the demon's eye, slaying it. . .

"Nice work, young master," Reginald says, as he comes out onto the front porch. He is wearing no shirt, there is a cigar in his mouth, and he is covered in warpaint and carrying a Bren Gun under each arm. "I must say, I was a bit worried you'd be late for breakfast. Glad to see you could make it."

>>10216736
Fuck yes, we will call them the Morning Glorious and they will fight to defend their home.

>>10216717
This is fine too.

Also a good way to announce our arrival & perfect accompaniment for demon-slaughter: "FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

>>10216728
Initiate berzerker rage.
Leave no survivors.

>>10216807
we love our morning glories

them being destroyed is a berserk rage trigger

>>10216814
"Stand back, Reginald."

Beat.

"I'm going to kill these demons with my HATE."

>>10216814
wouldn't miss it for the world reg

the breakfast here is delicious, and such wonderful company

>>10216814
Ask Reginald for the location of any entities that have harmed the morning glories.

No further question needs to be asked.
Proceed directly to the given location by the fastest means possible and destroy all sentient life in that area.

>>10216814
Announce our new godhood to the demon throng. Then polymorph Hogor into our new chef maid for emphasis.

It's a win-win situation.

>>10216830
We shall have Carmine teach us in the ways of rage-whorticulture.

She will make our morning glorious refuse to die, man or beast, angel or devil, all will fear them and know not to mess with the orchards of Goshujin-Sama, the careswaytomuchabouttrivialthings.

>>10216814
ahh reg, old chap! how's the family?

>>10216814

"Hell is somewhat easier to manage after one's first time."

"How is the overall situaton going, Reg?"

>>10216852
>>10216841

"Wouldn't miss this for the world, Reg," you say, shooting your cuffs and popping your collar. "The breakfast here is delicious, and the company pleasant. How are things going?"

"Not very well, I must admit," Reginald sighs. "The demons have taken over the main mansion, forcing us into the front lawn. As many as we slay, more simply keep coming. And the problem is, although Miss Jehanne has tried, she doesn't have the arcane knowledge to seal the gate, which is what needs to be done."

How much backlash/stress would it take to close the gates to hell from here, as opposed to right next to them?

>>10216897

"Understood. Alicia, If we bum rush our way to the portal, do you still have enough juice to close it?"

(And will our magic do it if she doesn't?)

>>10216897
"Alicia, be a dear and close that portal so we can hurry along to Disneyland."

>>10216897
Might be a crazy/much to trying idea; but how difficult would it be to ritual the portal so that it reflected back on itself in a mobian loop. Making it infinitely recur the demons to hell and have every room in our mansion lead to the master bedroom?

Could be fun, right?

>>10216897
So which one of us closes it? Alicia should have the knowledge.

Of course we'll get rid of the demons for her.

>>10216919
I don't think we should just whore our magic out, it's sure to have nasty repercussions.

>>10216897
does samantha still have the mortar?

if so have her start regularly shelling the portal while we work our way inside

i think alicia and i will have the whole close to portal bit covered this time

>>10216897

It's time for SCIENCE then.

Koyomi and Jehanne need to tackle the problem together, hopefully we can get some kind of science meets magic solution to repair the seal.

>>10216939
*close the portal bit

Do we still have the book of true names?

Fight our way to the portal. Use magic to help Alicia seal the gate while the maids guard us.

>>10216897
Have everyone regroup at the bat, use the bat to gain the roof. Drop into the bedroom from the mortar hole in the roof. Everyone protects Alicia while she closes the hell hole.

>>10216935
ritual magic should work here, and would have the backlash bit

>>10216939
>>10216935
>>10216928
>>10216926

"I can close it, definitely," Alicia says, "but it would be good if I could get some help."

"All right," you say. "If you need it, I guess I can help out. But it'll take time to do the ritual, right?"

"Yeah, that's what got us last time. . . we need someone to cover us while we do the ritual. Who do you want to take with us?"

H͍̬̖͎͕͍͓̭ͨ͐̏̑͐̂̀̌̃́E̹͎͕̜̖͔ͦ̇ͫ̄ͬ͊͗̓̑ͥ̎͆ͤ̑ͩ͋̅̍̑ ̰̯̥̰̜͈̣̗͔̭͔̼͈̟͌̈́̓ͬͨ̅̊͋̓͒ͧ̾ͅC̞̤̺̻͇̪̒́ͦ̄̏̆ͮ͒ͮ̊̍̔ͯ̅͗̍ͯ
̬̭̪̺̣̫̞͓̼͕O̺̤̱̟̥̰̥͍̖̎͒ͯͣ̎̐́̿̄̊ͩ̇̚M̞̘̺̹̺ͬ̐̊̍ͬͅE̒̔́̄ͯ
͔̝͔̘̙̻̺̣͈̪̯͌͌͒́ͧͪ͆ͥͪ̄̃͒S̮͉͍̣̗̪͓͙̥̬͍̦̹̦̤̻̏͐̅͑̀̃̚ͅ ̳̥̤͔̟͕͕̻̩̤̯͂ͭ͋̀̈́ͣ̉̈́ͧF̘̻͙̦̲̤̤̮͓͓͈̫͇̭̔̌͌̔ͅO͂ͮ͆͂͗̄͋͂̍̈
̳͍̥͕̼̪̲̳̬̦͎͚͚͚͓̦͑ͅͅR͇̗͈̣͈̳͆͒ͣͮ̏͆ͣͣͪ́̔̾̑ͧ̈̚ ̗̙̟̼͉̩̤͍̞̱̥̜̠̝̖̲̒ͭ̀͊ͯ̓̅ͧ̇Ŭ̺͈͍̺̙̤̯̘̮̦̤ͣ͋ͤ͒̓̅ͫ͗̚S̐ͤ̄
̳̬̞̣̪͓̺͉͔͚͕͖̩̩͍̟̄ͅ

>>10216972
jehanne and reginald

the divine protection jehanne offers should make up for any extra attraction we'd have for demons

>>10216972
Let's take Carmine and Reg. They're our two most reliable killing machines.

>>10217001 here

On second thought, take Jehanne and Carmine. Reginald can clear the rest of the mansion out.

>>10216972
Reginald, Carmine, and Jehanne. Maybe get Sam with a rifle picking off assholes from a distance.

>>10216992
Seconding this selection. Also see if Sam can resume artillery support.

Everyone.

>>10216972

"We'll need a lot of strength, but we can't leave the rest of the staff undefended. We'll take the strike team and ahve the rest fall back out of the immediate area until the threat is over."

Not sure who to take now, though. Sam or Jehanne, probably, and have Carmine keep an eye on Kris, Koyomi and Felicia.

"Reginald," you ask. "Does Sam still have that mortar?"

As if in response, you see a white phosphorus shell detonate with pinpoint accuracy over a group of demons, scattering burning phosphor all over them. All things considered, not so effective.

"Well, yes," Reginald says, "but she's running low on ammo. That poor dear has been doing fire support for days straight."

"All right. . . Jehanne and Carmine. Are they available?"

"Absolutely. Is that who you wish to take with you, young master?"

let's remember that Alicia doesn't exactly like Sam

>>10217079
Yes, they should suffice.

>>10217079
... days straight?

shit

You people suggesting Carmine maybe forgetting we traded her power armor for sexy commisar outfit. She's not quite as hot in a fight as she was.

>>10217079
how long was I gone?

>>10217088
>>10217088

I'm sure she can put dislikes aside for a few minutes while we try to avoid HORRIBLE DAEMONIC DEATH again.

>>10217106
>not quite as hot
On the contrary...

>>10217106

Tactics. She's our party warlord now.

>>10217079
Let's do it.

WOLVERIIIINES!

>>10217079
It occurs to me that Alicia probably REALLY wants to blow off some steam just about now.

>>10217106
she wasn't all that great in a fight anyways

we've taken her out while she was wearing the power armor twice, by ourselves

>>10217128
Right, but wouldn't that make it smarter to keep her away from the frontline?

>>10217079
Yes. It'd be great to get Sam to dump as much as she can into the group to make a soft spot for us to hit. while the rest suppress er...KEEP on suppressing.

Time for a new thread?

>>10217143
>we've taken her out while she was wearing the power armor twice, by ourselves

Considering who she was fighting at the time, it's no wonder she lost.

Give her a sword and a bolt pistol, she'll be right at home.

I really wish Carmine had won the boon vote. :(

>>10217164
did i forget to mention it was in H2H?

cause it was totally H2H

>>10217113

"It's been about forty-eight hours since you and Lady Alicia were pulled into that portal," Reginald explains. "Since then things have. . . gone badly for us."

He points to the mansion, which is still smouldering, and the hordes of demons pouring from the mouth of the house, towards where Jehanne is holding the line with her sword. The effect is rather similar to a large number of mice running full-tilt into a blender. "We'd best hurry, young master," Reginald says, "many of your maids are growing exhausted. I'll provide covering fire. . ."

As you run down the path towards Jehanne, you can see that the young paladin is covered in blood. Her sword is chipped and nicked, and her armor is dented and battered, but her grim face is defiant, even as her eyes shine with the joy of battle. "My liege!" she calls out, as she sees you approach. "I was told you were dead!"

>>10217180

On the upside, we get angry sex this way.

>>10217188
"I got better."

>>10217188
I was, but that's a story for later. Right now I need you to accompany me so we can close this portal.

>>10217188
wouldn't be the first time...
think you can manage to push the line into the master bedroom? I'd like to close that portal before peanut and peanut-brain figure out what's going on

>>10217188
"It's happened before, and it'll surely happen again."

>>10217180
I hope it still happens

>>10217188

"Rumours of my death should generally be ignored by this point, lest they provide more opportunity for clice lines."

"Come on, we're pushing in to finish this once and for all!"

>>10217188
Well, lets hope that we wont find out if the third times the charm.

>>10217188
yeah, and?

you do remember how we met, right? i wasn't visiting a vacation house.

press forward into the demons chopping at them with your sword

>>10217216

Jehanne grins as she raises her blade. "Absolutely, my liege! I will be by your side as long as you require my aid!"

"Oh, for hell's sake," Alicia sighs. "Do paladins always have to act like cheap southern preachers before going into battle?"

>>10217188
"Got better. Again."

>>10217213

Yes.

>>10217240
"Sadly, yes. It's part of retaining their powers."

COMBAT BEGINS

You 20
Jehanne 10
Alicia 30

Demons
10
10
10

ACTIONS?

>>10217188
"I got better.

Alicia, close the gate! Carmine, Jehanne, help me cover her!"

>>10217240
does it matter?

she's effective, especially right now

>>10217273
cost of healing Jehanne?
full attack

>>10217273
Do we still have the book of true names?

It seems like that could be useful.

>>10217273
Grab an M60 and a red bandanna. Wear only camo pants.

>>10217273
Scream your battlecry of "For the morning glories!" as you charge the foremost demon and stab it in the fact with your new sword

hopefully the strange battlecry will give you the element of surprise

>>10217306

Actually, don't wear pants.

>>10217314
*face

god i cannot type tonight, i need new fingers

>>10217324

New thread

>>10217306
Time to top Hot Shots Part Deux as 'Bloodiest Movie Ever'?

>>10217273

Heal Jehanne!

>>10217325
>>10217314

i suck at mspaint

*tumble weeds*

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/10214352/