Well... sometimes I like to pretend I am a cat

I give a worthy band of adventurers my Phylactery as a safe keep. Not telling them what it was, of course.
I call it irony.

>>10508773
Lich-cat, fuck yeah!

Everyone knows every lich worth his salt raps.

I spend time with my family.

Personally I like to kick back, take off the undead crown of unholy magical might and the robes of bleeding reality and fit into some sweats. Then I grab a big tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and sit down to watch netflix. You know, just taking some me time.
I cant eat the ice cream at all, having no flesh, but it's really there just like the sweats to be a comfort thing. It's nice just having it there. Oooh, golden girls marathon on tv land tonight. Better hope those daring adventurers don't stumble upon my nefarious schemes tonight!.

I'm Batman.

>>10508768
Usually magical research. I'm a bit of a workaholic, which is partially why I decided to give myself more time. Eventually I may turn into a god, until then my personal (ravenloft) dimension is nearly finished.

>>10508855

>Adventurers brave perilous traps and kick the shit out of undead minions
>Bust into the lich's Inner Sanctum
>Dude is sat in his jammies watching FRIENDS

"Oh for fucks sake. I WASN'T EVEN DOING ANYTHING EVIL"

>>10508811

I like to dress up my undead minions in frilly outifits and give them cutesy names like Mr Buttons or Doctor Hugsnatcher.

It freaks the hell out of adventurers.

>>10508880
Seriously it's a bigger problem than you think? Why do you think I have all these goddamn traps and crazy bullshit puzzle locks? Because I want my me time!

>>10508768

Dread Nation of Darkness? I think not. By turning necromancy to pragmatic ends, I have singlehandedly eliminated slavery, drudgery and war. Slavery and drudgery, because the dead take care of all menial tasks and are rightly loved for it. War, because while skeletons make mediocre swordsmen, they are incredible when fielded en masse wielding pikes. The nation's greatest minds can be preserved for posterity and continue their works, just as every individual now has the leisure to pursue education and the fine arts.

By all means, experiment on the body of the dead. I, meanwhile, shall undertake a Great Experiment on the body politic.

>>10508957

Hello, Grandfather.

>>10508948

I think it'd be a good twist to an adventure, though. The Lich doesn't know your coming and isn't even particularly malevolent. He has a taste for trashy romance novels and musical theatre HOLY SHIT GAY LICH BEST IDEA

CLEVE AND SMITE. CLEVE AND SMITE EVIL!

I'd hang around university History professors and troll them with commentary during lectures.
>In the Age of Korthos the Mighty, he was renowned for his prowess with the battleaxe and the diplomatic word. In fact, he was known to ...
KORTHOS LIKED LITTLE BOYS.

>>10508880
I lolled.

>>10508985

History AND Classics, depending on how old you are.

>Now, this ancient urn from the turn of the First Age bears an inscription warning of a terrible prophesy-
NAW THATS MY SHOPPING LIST
>Excuse me
SEE RIGHT THERE TWO BAGS OF CORN, ONE SIDE OF BEEF
>Do you mind
THIS WAS WHEN I STILL NEEDED TO EAT OF COURSE
>Security, security
DID YOU KNOW THAT IT WAS FASHIONABLE TO WEAR CLOTHES MADE OF BEES?

>>10508880
now i have this image in my head of this frat boy lich who just goes about looking for a place to slack about, but is cursed to have a legion of minions following him about causing shenigans

>>10509011
I imagine turning in your sixth-grade book report from your living life as a thesis on the Necronomicon has got to do something positive for your GPA.

Side note: imagine being a college student for eight hundred years. The student loan people would be shitting bricks.

>>10509028

>cursed to have a legion of bros

FTFY

>>10508974
Wait who's gay? I'm a goddamn skeleton, I don't even remember what sex I was when I was alive, it's been that long! I don't have genitals anymore, so I'm not going to really care about men or women, I'm just going to catch these seinfeld and friends reruns on tbs in my purple sweats. Seriously I go for purple, it's gender neutral and matches my whole unholy avatar of death feng shui thing here.
Damn mortals applying their arbitrary definitions to me, this is precisely why I keep so much ice cream in the freezer.

>>10509055
purple's a regal color you know

>>10509055

Dude, your phylactery is a Lady Gaga poster.

You're fucking gay.

>>10509073
And slimming. Don't forget slimming.
No one wants an eternity of a bad self-image.

>>10509055
Silly Lich, ice cream is for the living.

>>10509038

Think how many PhDs you'd have though.

You'd probably end up the head of every department.

Mostly I sit, and stare. In the dark of my tomb, I just stare. Waiting, pondering, staring.

>>10509048

>>10509087
You'd wind up on the tenure board, I imagine.
>Our next applicant is a 78-year old scholar from Faerun with a double doctorate in ..
78?! Get that infant out of here. Wake me up when someone over fourteen hundred gets here.

>>10509074
It is no such thing, it's right here on my bed stand this long golden rod, about ten inches long, three in diameter, and it's base has these two large emeralds and it's fluted at the top..... what no, seriously, just like a mortal you always see things where's it not there. I'll have you know this is just a symbol of my undead might, nothing more.
Fucking lady gaga, I'll bet you guys didn't even know she's actually not from noble blood. Not landed at all, not even from a rich trading house. Talk about false advertising. I even read in undead people that there's a rumor going around that she's.... half orc.

>>10509074
You don't have to be gay to like Gaga!

>>10509087
>>10509116
Guys, this is a campaign setting.

Archlich Ravelor's Acadmey, Living Scholars Need Not Apply

>>10509099

"DUDE YOU TOTALLY SHOULD BANG THAT CHICK SHE'S SO INTO YOU"
>My penis rotted off centuries ago
"COME ON MAN SHE'S SO FUCKING HOT"
>I am physically incapable of copulation
"GO OVER THERE AND TALK TO HER. AND ASK IF SHE HAS A SISTER BECAUSE DAMN I WANT IN ON THAT ACTION"
>I hate you, Chad

>>10509127
No you don't, but when you realize you do, you realize you are becoming gayer. Not necessarily gay, just moving further down on the heterosexuality scale.

>>10509130
I so want to sit on that bio course.
>Uhm... does anyone here remember how 'breeding' works? Its been a while, is all...

>>10509140

>Oh, THAT'S what a kidney looks like. I had completely forgotten!

>>10509130
Dean is a demilich made of demiliches. Every bone of his skeleton is a demilich.

>>10509145
>Oh that's what a kidney looks like whole, usually I just see the bloody shreds of remains or a pile of dust.

FTFY

>>10509130

And the legion of minion/bros are his asshole students always causing trouble for him to clean up while shaking his fist and shouting

>MINIOOOON HOOOOUSE

>>10509150
Sports coach is a death knight.

>>10509130

Longer-lived creatures like elves and outsiders are probably allowed in though.

>>10509135
>DUDE DID YOU SCORE WITH THAT CHICK?
No, Chad. We just talked.
>DUDE YOU ARE SUCH A HOMO.
Chad... she's my great-great-great-great-grandniece.
>SO DID SHE BLOW YOU OR WHAT?
... I hate you so much, Chad.

>>10509150
I think you guys are getting off task here, running a school is taxing, even for unliving constructs of dark magic and elemental hate. We're talking about how we kick back, now if you don't mind I'm going to go catch a nice Kobold knife fight set to the tune of "Beat It." Really a nice way to start off a night of slacking about.

>>10509130
>>10509140
>>10509150

>>10509177

>COME ON MAN DON'T BE LIKE THAT
Chad please leave me alone. I need to work on my constructs
>NAW DUDE, BROLEMS BEFORE HOLEMS

>>10509177
>CHAD CHECK OUT THAT BABE
Uhh... that's a skeleton, dude.
>SURE... A DAMN SEXY SKELETON! GET IN THERE MAN!
I-it doesn't even have an arm! That's sick!
>YOU'RE SUCH A LOSER CHAD I'M GONNA GET ME SOME TAILBONE.

>>10509208
Holy shit, when did Chad become the LICH?

>>10509048
presumably the heroes are another fraternity

>>10509216
He didn't.

>>10509216

I think that's Ravelor's nightmare, where he and Chad switch places.

>>10509223
It would give him cold sweats. If he could sweat. If he could remember what cold was.

>>10509218

You have Minion House, which is where most of the Legion Of Bros comes from, and then you have the Alpha Gamma Stabba fraternity which is where adventurers come in. The two houses have a big rivalry going on.

I want drawings and characters of Chad, homo-lich, and Ravelor. Extra points if Homo-Lich is in sweat pants and a hoody with "juicy" on the ass.

Chad should actually be an extraordinarily competent minion. He could destroy the adventurers easily, he's just never there when they attack because Ravelor gets sick of his shit and makes some excuse to go home.

Are the Legion of Bros even human? I like the idea that Chad is an Orc who has somehow managed to get full plate armour with a popped collar, and he always wears his horned helment backwards like an asshole.

>>10509246

Homo-lich is singing showtunes into his hairbrush in front of a mirror when the adventurers break into his Inner Sanctum and are like WTF

>>10509273
SECONDED

>>10509273
It's probably all different races. I personally think Chad should be a really stupid, really muscled mind flayer.

>>10509273
I think they should be the human descendants of other rich and powerful liches who donated to the university. He can't kick them out! Arbirag the Destroyer of Flesh bought the university a new library and filled it with unholy texts! And Arbirag is Big Mike's grandfather!
Minion HOUSE!

>>10509285

Why does a lich have a hairbrush? To sing into, of course.

>>10508957
Even in undeath we still don't like Chad

>OH DUDE SICK I JUST ICED YOU
Vecna dammit Chad I don't even have an esophagus anymore. I can't drink anything.
>OH COME ON DUDE YOU'RE JUST MAKING UP EXCUSES IF YOU DON'T DRINK THIS SHIT YOU'RE NOT A BRO ANYMORE

>>10509218

>>10509285
Nah it's more like Homo Lich would be sitting there watching Glee or Grey's Anatomy and then after a moment of silence says: "What they're popular shows, they're on prime time! It's not gay! Look I'm not even sure if I was man in life anymore, so clearly... no I'm not gay! No you stay away from my signed picture of Liza! What I can't appreciate the theater without being gay?
........
Oh you can all go straight to hell."

It's funnier if he's in denial.

FUCK, I now want to make a BroLich whose dimensional pocket houses not his phylactery, but his secret pastry workshop

>>10509322

DUDE THIS IS A SWEET KEGGER YOU TOTALLY NEED TO SOLO THIS
>Chad I can't drink because I don't have a digestive tract you know that
DONT BE A PUSSY OPEN WIDE FOR THE HOSE
>Chad no agkrhl
CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!
>Kaff kaff! Damnit Chad, this was a new robe of eternal suffering! Now there's beer all over it!

>>10509322
I've had this stuff before, it's actually quite tasty.

>>10509294

He's probably so stupid he doesn't even need to eat brains anymore. The only mindflayer to get into college on a sports scholarship.

>>10509328
Here's a Ravelor's Stationary template.

>>10509378
Ravelor originally approached him because he thought he would be a fellow evil mastermind.

>>10509346

The showtunes thing is when he thinks no-one is watching. But even a little inspection of his inner lair is like "yup, total fag"

On the outside, he tries to present himself as Libellor The Totally Manly and hit on every chick he meets.

rolled 70 = 70

>>10509370
I disagree

>DUDE THIS PARTY IS AWESOME
Chad, we're in a morgue.
>I KNOW DUDE. THE MUSIC IS FUCKING GREAT.
Chad... this is Radiohead. "Awesome" does not apply here.
>I LOST MY VIRGINITY AT A RADIOHEAD CONCERT.
Chad, get off of that corpse.
>SHE WANTS ME. YOU CAN TOTALLY TELL.
Chad... what.. stop that! That's my great-great-great-great-grandniece's body!
>DON'T HATE THE PLAYER, HATE THE GAME.

DUDE.

>>10509370
I beg to differ chumly, it tastes like sugar, athlete's foot, and vodka.

>>10509350
Harlequins teleport into his store and steal the cake he bakes it ALL THE TIME

>>10509393

Naw, Chad is a curse on Ravelor, remember? It might be that Chad's grandpa is some really uber mindflayer who geas'd the two together so they're inseperable. Chad thinks this makes them best bros. Ravelor thinks he's going to have to find a way to undo his immortality if this goes on much longer

>>10509415
Maybe Chad's grandfather is an Illithich. Ravelor was his disciple. He geas'd them so Chad could learn by example from his best student.

>>10509350

Periodically, neatly wrapped packages containing frosted delights appear outside the houses of the familes of those he loved in life

>>10509415
Chad is the sixth-generation offspring of his trusted lieutenant, Chadsworth the Wise. He's been grandfathered into the fraternity that Ravelor swore an oath to defend back in his mortal days, unaware that the original wording included the phrase "...even if I become a lich." Ravelor's stuck with him until the Chadsworth line dies off, but is unable to allow harm to befall him due to the standardized wording of the contract.

>>10509370

>>10509447
cant he just lock him in a dungeon or try to magically alter his mind into more suiting

>>10509447
This. Orc Chad > Illithid Chad.

I can sort of see this happening. A lich returns to the land of the living after hundreds of years experimenting in his lair, only to find that the world has changed. Trying to adapt to this he wants to get a job, but all demands him to have some offical education. Cue getting enrolled in college.

>>10509466
>DUDE, THIS "QUIET ROOM" BULLSHIT IS AGAINST THE CHARTER. MAN. TOTAL BULLSHIT. I'M CALLING THE CHAPTER LORD AND MAKING A COMPLAINT.

>>10509467

I agree. The Muscliest Illithid might be one of Chad's bros though.

>>10509466

The contract binding Ravelor to Chad involves him protecting the subject of the contract, so they're probably not allowed to tamper with them or something.

>>10509466
Chad is immune to all mind affecting abilities due to stupidity.
>>10509476
Charter supervisors are all archdevils.

>>10509447
maybe the bloke just found some magical draught in the ruins of an ancient frat house made to be the best dammed drink in the realm, but at the cost of being cursed with the ghosts of the house for eternity. And he was a depressed necrolyte at the time and didn't consider the consequences of being stuck with bros for eternity

>>10509472
Someone draw up the lich's resume. I gotta see what he'd put under "Previous Employers" and "Work Experience".
>Says here you were a reigning warlord for "untold generations". How do you think this prepared you for working in a fast-paced, team-oriented industry such as McDonald's?

>>10509484
Il-sense, the playa' flaya'.

Also this reminded me of /tg/ u.

>>10509506
i want to see KFC golems and McDemons

>>10509506

It would probably go along the lines of:

>Aprenticeship, Magical
>Duration: 150 years
>Employer: Harrimar The Superfluously Evil
>Reason For Leaving Position: Learned All I Needed From Him, Now I Am The Master

>Self-Employed (Arcane Researcher/Recruitment)
>Duration: A Thousand Lifetimes
>Employer: Self
>Reason For Leaving Position: Fucking Adventurers Burned My Castle Down.

>>10509506
"Under 'hobbies' here it says you subjugate the inhabitants of the elemental planes for a decade every century. Now, how you spend your free time is your own business, but that hardly says 'team player' to me."

>>10509533
>No, no, no! We do not rend apart 'intruders', we 'serve' the 'customers'. Fuck. We need smarter Golems. These things are fucking retarded. Someone go get Ravelor.. he's good with retraining.

>>10509554
Obese pitfiend works the fryer. Sorry, is the fryer.

>>10509543

"We really need someone who does well in a structured environment. It says here that you murdered your last employer and overthrew him, assuming the reigns of command over a horde of unspeakable evil. While that shows ambition, I'm worried you might not be much of a team player."

>>10509540
Ravelor's Academy is recruiting! Earn your degree today! Join the growing ranks of undead, orcs, and flayers who have graduated from the Academy!

Simply follow the instructions on this parchment, and you too can be a graduate!

Ravelor's Academy, 100 Academy Road, the Barony of Tears

>>10509524

Ah yeah, the Illest-ithid is Chad's black best friend which American movies teaches me that every jock has.

>>10509472
The descendents of the heroes who forced him beneath the earth centuries ago are a bunch of frat guys who drive around in a Hummer they call "The Airship" and go about doing Quests. And by quests I mean they work for Dominos or something.

>>10509567
NO BARDS ALLOWED.

>>10509561
>We tried contacting your references, but ... they appear to have died somewhere around twelve hundred years ago.
DID YOU TRY "speak with dead" YET?

I LOVE THIS THREAD, AND YOU, /TG/, SO FUCKING MUCH.

COME OVER HERE AND HUG ME.

>>10509583
"Yes, I'm afraid the response we got was YEA, EVEN AS I AM THE GOD OF ALL LIGHT, SO HAVE THE ASHES OF THIS ONE BEEN SCATTERED BEYOND REALITY ITSELF. HE IS NO MORE, AND ALL ARE BETTER FOR IT."
>Fucking Asoguth the Dark Ifrit always letting me down.

>>10509533
He brings every Ronald Mcdonald Figure on earth to life
SHENANIGANS

>>10509577

Shouldn't that be an Airship they call the Hummer?

>Your former 'archnemesis' had a few choice words to say about your personality and work ethic.
HE'S A PALADIN AND THEREFORE FULL OF SHIT. DISBELIEVE HIS LIES.
...
Also, he owes me six gold for that card game we had. Tell him I said that.

The ancient lich's voice quavered with anger. "Chad," he said, his tone hinting at untold depths of violence, "and you, 'Ill-sense,' if you two cause -one more problem-..."

The orc averted his eyes sheepishly while the playa' flaya' rocked on his heels. They had a dressing down like this in the Archlector's office every week or so. From behind his big cherrywood desk, Ravelor stared at them with eyes that burned an eternal bottomless blue.

"I don't... I can't... You're on cleanup duty for the rest of the month. And if I hear ONE WORD from the Baron that you two were off campus again... Gods help me, boys, I'll let those Adventurers come right in the front gate."

I kind of like the idea of Il-Sense being a normal mind flayer who just really enjoys being a stupid frat guy.

>>10509605
the descendent of Faroth the Bard is a pot smoking, air-guitaring hippie who calls himself Moonbeam. He likes to stand on the Hummers skylight cover and hum the thundercats theme song while they deliver stuff

this demands archival.

Somebody archive this thread.

Whenever somebody makes a lich thread, things always turn awesome.

>>10509683
second

>>10509683

>>10509668
I SAID NO BARDS! GET THAT BARD OFF OF MY CAMPUS! THIS IS A PLACE OF SERIOUS STUDY!

I like to troll adventurers by getting them to gather my body parts for me. Don't really need them now but it's still funny as hell.

>>10509668
LEARN SOME REAL MAGIC YOU NO GOOD BEATNIK.

>>10509722
He-e-e-a-y man, what's with all shouting? Why always gotta use your magic for skeletons and war, man? Magic's for scorin' with chicks, not conquerin' the world. You should just chill out!

In the days of old, Chadsworth the Wise became a scholar and founded a great university, raising a child in his footsteps. Be amazed by this child.
Chadswicke the Scholar was a sage amongst his peers, renowned for his insight and trustworthiness. He raised a son to become his peer and equal. Rejoice for this child.
Chadswith the Sage was a luminary the world over, traveling far and wide, bringing his wisdom to the courts of untold kings and queens. His son would be his finest student. Cherish this child.
Chadsmith the Proud would be a tactical genius unparalleled in his lifetime and several to follow, devising brilliant strategies which would build up kingdoms.. or destroy them. His son would follow in his footsteps. Adore this child.
Chadrith the Fleetlord would be a navigator unknown to the world, seeing the far shores of lands long shrouded in myth and rumor. His son would be his finest apprentice. Fear this child.
Chadrick the Furious would be an epic warrior, forever in battle for a church now lost to time and memory. His son would be his learned associate. Praise this child.
Chad the Bro would be an awesome dude, if he can get those rape charges dropped. His son would be ill-advised to find out who his father really was at the mixer/gangbang. Pity this child.

>>10509740
DAMN IT FAROTH THERE IS NO WAY THE GUILD OF EVIL WILL TAKE YOU ON AS A DARK APPRENTICE IF YOU KEEP THIS UP. WHAT WOULD YOUR MOTHER SAY?

>>10509722
chill man
just wanna soak in some vibes
shoot the breeze and let all that darymed
natural goodness into me
yeah....

Wanna toke?

so... archive?

>>10509777
http://www.suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

>>10509751
MY BIRTHGIVER IS THE EARTH AND SHE GIVES PLENTY
PEACE OUT MAN YOU REALLY GETTING ME DOWN

>>10509740
Once we conquer the world all the chicks belong to us and we can make them have sex with us whenever we want, put your damn bong down, sober up, and look at the big picture.

>>10509802
Woah baby, all that conquest is sending me some negative waves.

>>10509822
Faroth old chum
what bids you to this dastardly lair of hoodlums and misfits?
Our Abode is eastwards and our Headmaster will be most displeased to hear of your being here
Let us be off lest their foul influence corrupt our souls
>Picks Faroth up and rides off on horse

Archived.

So, is Ravelor's university home to both minions AND adventurers? Because I think it would make more sense to have Ravelor's uni be a sort of cheap, community college while Adventurer U is the Ivy League shit. Kobolds and such end up being minions because they can only afford Minion School and people like Chad are kept out of Adventurer U due to racism. These racist tendencies are SOMETIMES swayed by cash, but that's an exception to the rule

>>10509871
Finally, now, back to business. Gentlemen, how do we kill Pelor?

>>10509871
Razelor's Academy vs. the Adventuring University...

Round 1: Chad and Il-Sense conduct a panty-raid into the elvish dormitories.

Round 2: Sir Devon Thonares beats the shit out of Brandon, one of the Sworn Brothers of the Academy.

Round 3: Chaptermaster Brock Unfirth, Stone Giant, calls on the Archlector Ravelor to put a stop to this madness; Archlector puts a ban on all off-campus activities.

Round 4: Il-sense brain-drains Moonbeam, the prized hippie-mascot of AU.

WHAT NOW, ADVENTURERS?

>>10509901

I'd say Ravelor's is the community-college for minions, yeah.

I'm sure it was far grander in decades past, but, hey, nothing lasts forever... well, except Professor Ravelor and Dean Demil.

>>10509924

>Round 4: Il-sense brain-drains Moonbeam, the prized hippie-mascot of AU

Round 5: No-one really notices.

>>10509906
We shank his ass thats what we gonna do
Nigga got one hell of a kicking coming to him together with the rest of those dammed nasty Bros
Whoever Brothas with me raise yo hands in the go-dammed air and wave em round

>>10509931
Ravelor and Sir Mark Mandon of AU have an unhealthy rivalry. Can the upstarts of RA take on the gentry that go to AU? Tune in next time on:

LICHSCHOOL.

>>10509957

>Nigga

HEY! You pointy haired pansies don't get to say that! That's OUR word!

Oh hey look a thread about liches this should be cool
>/tg/ makes like three fucking sitcoms based off of lichs
I love you, /tg/

>>10509957
you're not black dude
you're an elf

>Commercial on after Golem Girls on TBS
Here at Razelor's Academy, we pride ourselves on quality product: the self-sufficient minion. Whether you are in need of a multitude of ground personnel to effect your invasion of a lower plane, or you need a crew of top-notch advisors for your mass infiltration of the kingdoms of the land you once ruled over... we're here for your individual needs. With affordable rates even the lowest daemon can afford, we have what you need: devotion, integrity, competency, reliability.

Razelor's Academy: We Have Minions For You.

>>10509924
and 50 points from fagsville

>>10510038
Magnificent.

>>10509969
Later today: Lichschool character breakdown and pilot.

We need to invent the official Minion House drinking game.

There's like one really agressive elven ranger that got kicked out of AU for violence and bad manners. Now they play for the Lichschool track team.

>>10510038

Just listen to some of these student testimonials!

Kobold Trap-Making Major (2nd Year): It's great fun and you're learning all the useful skills you'll need for a long career as a minion. I doubled my kill-count in my first week!

Orc Sport Science Major (1st Year): He-yur at.. Ravv-u-laws Akadumy, I have... p-pros-whaddat say? PROSPERED and acheeved my full potenchul. An yoo kan tu!

Gibbering Mouther (What is it even doing here?): ASIOJERAIOJSKAANJFKAIODHJAAW

>>10510086
Every time Ravelor calls Chad something his ancestors used to go by, take a shot.
Every time Chad is up on charges, take two shots.
If Chad has to do time in a dungeon, empty the bottle.

>>10510086
AVERYTIME LICHBOY OVER ERE DOES SOMETHIN GAY WE TAKE A KEG
WOOOOOOOO

>>10510041

BY THE GODS WHAT DID THOSE BLOODY MINIONS DO TO MY CHARIOT

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE:

RAVELOR'S ACADAMY VERSUS UNSEEN UNIVERSITY!

>>10510170

Minioooon houuuuuse!

if there was ever a thread that deserved drawfagging, it's this one.

>>10510115
But they can't get over their outlook so they beat up all the drow and shoot goblins while they're crossing the campus.

Ravelor won't expel her because she's the only chance they have of beating the AU team.

>>10510182

Or writefagging. The story of a young country-boy kobold sent off to a big city university to learn his trade. Alternatively, due to a paperwork mix-up, a good-aligned student ends up here. A Deva or something. Shenanigans ensue.

>>10510117
I lol'd, lol'd hard.

Additional moar:
Edmund Wight (3rd year Pre-Death Student): Thanks to RA, I have the self-confidence I need to give my homeland swamp the proper terrifying it needs. Thanks, RA!
Grimshriek the Unwholesome (graduate, Warlord Studies Program): With my experience in the Studies Abroad program and my dual major in Warlord and Womens' Studied, I can finally land that dream job I've always wanted: Amazon princess! Go Minion House!

How about some 'minion poseurs' at AU? They like to pretend they are slumming it.

>>10510203
>oh wow the kegger last night was wild and...
>WHAT IN THE TRUE NAME
>OH MAN WE TOTALLY DREW SOME SYMBOLS FROM THE DEANS BOOK ON YOUR HEAD WITH MARKER. DIDN"T THINK MUCH OF IT. TURNS OUT SHIT WAS CURSED AND YOU"RE UNDEAD NOW. HAHAHAHAHA*Vomits

>>10510236
>Did you see those douches from Faerun?
Seriously, dude. Major wannabes.
>Yeah, I know, right? "Oooh, look at me, I worship death."
Bitch, please. We have Death on our admissions board.

>>10510285
You know guys if Death was like a million years younger i'd totally do her

>>10510285

>Did you see that elf chick trying to pass for Drow?
HOLY SHIT that was hilarious! How much boot polish did she have to slap on her skinny ass do you think?
>Fucked if I know. Bitch would get shanked if she ever set foot in the Underdark for reals.

>>105103088
That bothers you?

>>10510308
Age wouldnt stop me from doing that

>>10510207
Taken from an anonymous blogger from the RA Minion School:

>Just got finished moving in. Dad looked real proud. Mom looked like she was about to cry. I can't believe this is all happening.

>The School for Minions (RASM as it says on all our doors) is as ghetto as they come. Barony of Tears hasn't had a good harvest in ten years, and I definitely saw a big orc selling weed at the main gate.

>I miss my friends back home in the warrens already. I dunno, maybe it's just me... I wish I could get through this minion crap without having to come all the way out here.

>Roommate isn't here yet. I think he's an ogre, which is just great. I'll bet he wants the bottom bunk. I guess I should be used to it. Lowest goblin on the totem pole, lol.

>I heard that Heton the Hated got a job as one of the Goblin-King's pages. Seems cushy; answer letters, get him his food, that sort of thing. HE didn't need to go to Minion School. I don't really understand the point.

>Oh shit, just checked my schedule. Basic Spearwork is in twenty minutes. Gotta go. Check back later.

>>10510400
Anonymous faculty review
>While [x] does show excellent progress in becoming a demi-lich, it is advisable that he cease and desist any and all social groupings involving representatives of the Church of Pelor. Whereas it would be remiss to state a direct bias against someone's alignment (pursuant to the Accords of Form and Structure, EoE Act, sec. 33) it would be equally disadvantageous to promote him over equally-capable competitors for the same opportunity based on their own alignments and religious preferences. The Church of Pelor has a long and standing tradition of capturing grad students and forcibly converting them under duress, torture and in one memorable instance, a swimming pool filled with holy water, Mexican beer and limes (possibly lemons; citation needed). Thus, it is with regret that I can not and shall not proceed with further testing based on their apparent disregard for the individual ethos and ethics of the student body, until such a time as the Church of Pelor renounce the "hazing" incidents and re-classify them as "hate crimes", with subsequent criminal investigations and/or civil lawsuits.

>>10510400
Confiscated note from Necromancy Class:

>HEY DUDE

what do you want

>NOTHIN MAN THIS IS SOOO BORIN

>HOW BOUT WE GO AN FUCK WITH THE TEACH LATER?

he's a pretty powerful necromancer. are you sure you want to do that?

>HELL YEAH MAN

>WHAS THE MADDER? CHICKEN?

no. you are.
One student never left class that day, but a sudden appearance of a chicken was slightly confusing.

>>10510400
Unfortunately, the brilliant career of Ratsworth the Kobold was tragically cut short during a Basic Minions Spell class, during which the teacher in question had a violent, colon tearing seizure related to portals, and subsequently went on a min-maxing rampage, killing most of the students and 2 unnamed faculty members

THE END

Is there a Strictler?

Letter home found during locker inspection, Orc Football season.
>I hat my teechur. he is veree meen. i haff to spel stuf correckly or he will brake my arme again an reheel it rong. i miss the cave. tell mom i mis her and that i hav tha cookees shee mad for my birfday. i think my teechur is gong to mak me a skelton or a point guard. both suk. love to all (includng you, sheek),your son, krag.

I love this thread.

This thread is amazing.
I just wanted to say that I got into my current position as Warlord of the Southern Reaches thanks to Ravenor Academy. Pic Related.

>>10510285
fuck you buddy i have guns built into my hand, automatics even, and they don't even exist yet!

>>10510989

New Rule: NO WARFORGED STUDENTS

>>10511065
They can just get reprogrammed, no need for education.

An article taken from the local Barony of Tears gazetteer:

>Ravelor's Academy for Minions (RAM): Philanthropic Gesture, Gold-making scheme, or prelude to a dark army?

>This bard has taken the time to scope out the RAM campus and brings you information from within. Ravelor's Academy is a harsh world, where young would-be warlords and dominators are given the skills required to go out and make themselves into kings, dukes, and tyrants. Tears is always filled with riffraff from the Academy, and we see them in every town on every street. They derogatorily refer to us as 'townies,' but is there something else we should be worried about?

>Is Ravelor's Academy churning out low-grade tyranny, or something more? After inquiring about student death rates and expulsions, one campus luminary remarked, 'Oh, we never send anyone home.' The reason, as I've found out, is that people who are expelled from the Academy aren't released.

>Ravelor binds the expelled students with black magic; From what this bard has seen and heard, the transformation spells turn them into mindless slaves without a hint of life. That's right, Ravelor has an army of zombie servitors!

>When questioned, Ravelor had this to say: "We need janitors, don't we? And monitors for the dormitories. How else do you propose we get them?" When asked for further comments, this crumbling lich told yours truly to "Fuck off."

>>10511783
Also, I learned this technique in Necromancy 101: BUMPAN.

I continue work on my great craft of fire, steel, and bone. When the time comes, I will leave this pathetic squishy dustball and seek great power and knowledge among the stars.

>>10511839

Thread Necromancy: the darkest of the Dark Arts.

Needs more votes in favor of archivan'

http://www.suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

>>10511926

>>10512027
Lich images to bring attention to Ravelor, Archlector of RAM, opponent of Sir Mark Mandon the Dean of AU.

VOTE RAVELOR.

>>10512143
You know, I don't normally associate liches with pointy wizard hats mentally. Funny, because they're basically dead wizards, but there you go...

>>10512143
The R.A.M. is now accepting applications for the upcoming school season.

Collect templates until not even Ao knows what my strenghts and weaknesses are.

>>10512208
The R.A.M. seal, for use on any R.A.M. document.

>>10512263
RAVELOR RAVELOR SISS BOOM BA!
KILL THOSE ADVENTURERS, RA RA RA!

>>10508768
Well my character used to set up war games.
I once sent an army of 5,000,000 skeleton warriors and 1 Minor General Spell casting Zombie into a neighbouring country, they walked across the country and seiged the entire capital (Which had been forwarned and closed its gates) and eventually broke the seige, without killing a single person.
An audience was then held with their leader and a not was given to him by the Zombie, which read 'These men are yours for now, they will follow any order, meet my army at the borderlands between our countries, we're going to play a wargame.

>>10512893
This had better end in a truly epic troll of some kind.

>>10512893

it is if no one fuckin responds

This seems vaguely familiar. The minion college should have a rivalry with Pendragon University
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9050967/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9092807/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9111742/

>>10512893
Nope; we played wargames, I gave them a few Dozen Skeletons to keep and it opened up trade and political routes between our countries, since before hand I had been seen as "Generic Evil country A"
Huge Trollface when I was watching the seige through my minions eyes though, and when the Paladins of the next country along attacked the country I was working with for "Assisting the monster." and I ended up not only winning the war, but being the morally right side as I didn't torture anyone.

Actually Yes, I always make Liches that are just off, they always chill with the Adventurers

>go to bed
>wake up before gamers arrive
>finish making chow for all parties
>check /tg/
>see this thread
I love /tg/.
>my face

>>10514551

>Archlector and Master: Razelor the Egregious, Lich

>Dean of Students: Abrimo the Cultured, Glabrezu

>Dean of Admissions: Ninadrel the Fallen, female fallen paladin (once worked for the Adventurers University, before her affair with Abrimo and subsequent conversion)

>Chair of History: Herod the Absolutely Ancient, gnomish lich

>Chair of Classics: Tennoron the Forgeready, intelligent golem made by a long vanished kingdom

>Chair of Minion Studies: Obrin, third son of the Goblin King (got his position via large donations)

>Chair of Philosophy: Porphyros, giant-king (lost his crown in a brutal war with his uncle about five hundred years ago, still talks about it)

>Chair of the Magical Arts: Ravelor

>Chair of War: Safferax the Squalid, Ravager of Virgins, Cambion (booted from the staff of the Nine)

>Chair of Terror: Konnor the Conqueror, failed warlord

>Head Proctor: CHAD

>Head Proctor's Best Bro: Il-sense the Illest Illithid, the flaya playa

>Gatewarden: Haphortus, animated corpse with the strength of a giant

>>10515254
>And by Razelor I mean Ravelor, since I seem to be spelling it wrong everywhere.

I party hard. Just because you're dead doesn't mean you can't live a little.

>>10515254

Wait. Chad is the Head Proctor?

Holy shit this thread is still here.

>>10517914

Maybe in name only, because it's a familial position handed down from his actually-competent ancestors. He doesn't do any work and just collects his stipend every month and then blows it on keggers.

Never change, /tg/
never change.

>>10517960

I rather like Chad being at the head of Minion House instead. That way Ravelor can shout, "MINIOOON HOOOOUUUUSE!" when Chad inevitably does something stupid. HEAAAAD PROOOOOCOOOOR just doesn't have the same ring.

>>10518064

I agree. He's been head for ages though. He's the perennial student who keeps changing his major and will most likely never graduate.

>HEY R YOU ALWAYS HAVE THIS MASSIVE STICK UP YOUR ASS SO I GOT YOU A PRESENT
Look, my ass rotted off a long time ago. What is it this time?
>I GOT YOU A COUPLA HOOKERS FROM HELL IT'LL BE KICKIN RAD
Goddammit, Chad. Just... goddammit.

>>10518246

>OH SHIT MAN SORRY I FORGOT
It..it's okay, Chad. It's alright. You can have the ladies.
>NICE ONE MAN. HERE, YOU CAN HAVE THIS INSTEAD
Oh, thank you. What is it?
>MY WEED STASH BRO
... I DON'T HAVE LUNGS, CHAD.

>>10518396
>NO PROBLEM, BRAH. MY BRO ILL-SENSE CAN COOK UP SOME WICKED BROWNIES
...I give up.

The Head Lector, grumping his way through the nervous bows and curtsies of the Academy staff, entered his cavernous offices through towering deadwood doors framed by sigils from a hundred generations of necromatic houses and death cults. Ravelor ignored the vast collection of mystical curios, eldritch items and trophies of his many feats and headed straight for his most prized possession....except, it was nowhere to be found. Before his surging panic could take hold of his cold skull, he realized it wasn't missing; his phylactery was there, on his desk...just...different.

[outside shot of the staff wing on the top floor]

"MINIOOON HOOOOUUUUSE!"

[flock of crows burst from the roof at the same instant]

We need a drawfag in here stat.

Why is this thread getting bumped to 5th page instantly? There's not THAT many shit threads to occupy the attention of the retards on the main page is there?

Posting in an epic thread.

RAISE THREAD!

CLEAR!

I tell you, everything that goes wrong at this school is the fault of that blasted Minion House. I saw we revoke their charter, ONCE AND FOR ALL!

>>10522148

But sir, if we dismantle Minion House we lose the endowment! That money funds nearly everything on this campus. We can't function without it!

>>10518064
Oh, Chad is also in charge of Minion House. That's one of the reasons they get away with all this shit. He's ALSO HEAD PROCTOR.

MINION HOUSE, Pilot Episode.

SCENE ONE: Ravelor's Office.
This office is filled with arcane knick-knacks of every description. There are skulls, globes, astrolabes, anything you can think of. In the center of it all sits a massive DESK. Behind this desk is RAVELOR, ARCHLECTOR.

Sitting in one of the tall chairs in front of the desk is a shamefaced CHAD, HEAD PROCTOR. Ravelor is glaring at Chad when the scene begins.

RAVELOR
Furthermore, do you have any idea what the Baron will do when he finds out? I... I can't believe I have to say this to you again, Chad.

CHAD (sheepishly)
C'mon, Lector, you didn't really mean all that.

RAVELOR (with a sigh)
Chad, listen to me. If your great grandfather hadn't been my most trusted lieutenant...

There is a BANG! The doors to the office BURST OPEN! In rushes - no wait, shuffles - a ghoul, most of his body decaying.

GHOUL (in a rasp)
Maaaaaster...

Ravelor explodes in anger, which has been barely contained throughout.

RAVELOR
WHAT IS IT?

GHOUL
Adventurers at the gates, master.

Ravelor glares at Chad. ROLL OPENING CREDITS.

This thread brings a smile to my face.

>>10523028
I would watch the shit out of this.

>>10523028
SCENE TWO. The gates of RAM. There is a DEAD GOLEM lying off to one side, hacked to pieces. Sitting on its body is MOONBEAM, dopily playing a tune on his lute as though this was an afterthought. Nearby is DEVON THONARES, PALADIN; he is attempting to remove his sword from a dead orc that lies on the ground.

Ravelor and Chad emerge from the Administration Building; Ravelor is hurrying, his robes flapping.

RAVELOR
What in the name of all that is unholy...?

DEVON
Hold, fiend!

Devon points his blade at Ravelor. The lich slows down and raises his bony hands defensively.

RAVELOR
Woa, there young man, now I...

Chad pushes in front of Ravelor, bearing his popped iron collar.

CHAD
YO! Don't you fuckin' TOUCH the Lector!

>>10523336

Action! Drama! Humor! Bromance! This series has it all!

*Coming to you on Fox.*

>>10523336

Hmm, well, I have the entire rest of the scene, but apparently PART OF MY COMMENT IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE POSTED.

>>10523028
>>10523336
I would watch that.
We should totally make an actual television series out of this. Anyone good with special effects? Good video editing?

>>10523454
I (the guy writin') can edit. I went to film school! If people wanna film it, I can cut it up.

>>10523447

Copy-pasting is forbidden, for some reason. If you type it out again it'll show up just fine. Alternatively, you could screencap the scrip then post it as an image.

Right, we need a list of actors, roles, someone to do props, someone directing, stage makeup, and everything else we might need.

The we make a Teaser, post it on youtube, and then see about getting real funding to do the series.

>>10523493

The most it'll ever be, assuming it actually gets done, is a web-original short. It's not really TV material. That's not to denigrate web-original shorts, mind. I'm just saying that that's about what you should shoot for.

>>10523470
Rewritefaggin' it now, will post momentarily.

>>10523537
This is the truth of necromancy....
Nothing ever dies on /tg/, it just drifts to page five.
Never change, /tg/. Never change.

I pine for my dead boyfriend and curse the gods :(

>>10523537
That's fine then, we can still do a web series of it.
List:
Director
Scriptwriter
Props
Costumes
Main character's
Supporting character's
Surprise character's
Other.

It will also need a place of work for everyone. It could take a couple years to get this done, but we are /tg/. WE GET SHIT DONE!

>>10523468

>>10523662

>>10523693
>Ravelor, overhearing, arches an eyebrow.

>CUT TO COMMERCIAL.

>>10523633
>Chair of History: Herod the Absolutely Ancient, gnomish lich
When I first read that, one name came to mind:
Tom motherfucking Waits.
He loves indie stuff and works for peanuts, if any.
See also:
>Wristcutters: A Love Story
The man is destined to write the opening theme.

>>10508974
>gay lich
SUDDENLY, THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY

>>10523693

>>10523947
Ravelor sleepy now. More Minion House tomorrow.

>>10523753

Ah, but could Dorian Gray rip souls from their rest and imbue them with unholy energy and a hatred for all things living?

>>10523753
Portrait.

Portrait of Dorian Gray.

>>10524036
I lied, I had one more page left in me.

>>10524364
I disagree.

>>10524404

I'm enjoying this a lot, just so you know. You're not the only one paying attention.

>>10524955
I too enjoy this.

>>10524404
Fucking fantastic.

Hell, bump.

What about the hot Drow ranger chick, a teacher's pet kind of character that leads guys at the Minion House to but heads with the jocks?

>>10529695
Totally forgot about her. Someone give me a name and I'll incorporate her into the episode plot.

>>10530937

>>10531490

>>10531504
>>10531490

Very good writefaggotry, old sport.

>>10531725
Danke. Now, errands to run. Next scene of Minion House later.

>>10529695
Yes, somebody with a name for our hot Drow, stat. Creativity fails me at the moment.

DEAR GOD THIS THREAD IS STILL ALIVE.

NEW TOPIC: DOES THIS THREAD HAVE A PHYLACTERY?

>>10531815

Yes, but we're not telling you what or where.

>>10531831
This thread was made yesterday morning by my time. That is goddamned impressive.

>return from gaming
>discover thread still animate, lively
>see new additions, familiar names
Never change, /tg/. Never change.
>my face

>>10531885

The longest-running thread I've seen on /tg/ was just a few months ago. It was a Dominions 3 thread, and it lasted from Monday night to Saturday morning. And, what's more, there wasn't a single bump-post. It was all discussion.

>>10531504
Getting some cooking done, then more Minion House. Does anyone have a name for the Elf Ranger? Does anyone have any desire to see the pilot go in a specific direction?

Next Scene: introduces Il the Illest Illithid and the entire crew of Minion House. Taking suggestions for Minion House personalities beyond Chad and Il.

I chill on my Lunar Base.

Greater teleport.
Undead survive in vaccuum.

Think about it. . .

>>10533701

Larry- smiling minotaur with a four-colored knit hat, shades, and dreadlocks. Vaguely paternal (patronizing) figure who considers himself wiser or more worldly than the rest of minion house, and speaks with a deep, mellow, mystical and shamanish voice. Like, all the time. Even when he's just telling you how high he is, or apologizing for breaking something (incredibly large and unsteady on his hooves when drinking/smoking. Also prone to breaking light fixtures with his horns even when sober).

>>10533701

Goblin nerd blogger than everyone just calls Pledge. They make him perform the menial duties and he has to wear a frilly skirt.

Hugo: Thinks he's hot fucking shit because his grandad was an incubus. Doesn't listen when people tell him that tiefling get a charisma penalty, that he doesn't have any magical powers of seduction, or that he smells like egg-farts. Wears disturbingly tight-fitting shirts and pants, slicks his hair back with the same bootshine that he polishes his horns, and speaks with a slight (fake) Spanish accent.

>>10533737

FYI, this thread is totally about Lich U now. But these posts are still entertaining.

>>10534104
is also secretly gay

Okay, we're autosaging.

It looks like this thread has pretty well played out (to hilarious effect), but if anyone starts another thread to continue, post a link for me.

>>10534296

No, we're not. The bump limit has been increased to 300, and we're just at 265.

>>10534500

>>10534731

>>10533947
This. We need a really wimpy nerd character to be all uncool and dorky.

>>10534770

Next Scene: Takes place at AU. I only have 2 AU characters so far (Moonbeam, Devon) so we'll need more for this. Let's list the entire "adventuring class."

>>10534967
There has to be an evil popular Elf girl who is real hot.

>>10535010
Wait, even better, make her an Eladrin. Elves are all foresty and rustic, while Eladrin are pretty and snobby.

Gomlik, the Dwarf who can't hold his liquor, at all. Which is bad, since he loves drinking.

Also the human cleric of Pelor who is a bit too religious for everybody to feel comfortable with, but who gets to hang around since he has the healing spells.

Takin' a writing breather. If this thread autosages I'll start up a new one. More Minion House worldbuilding ideas! Maybe some drawfags! RAM campus map! GOGOGO!

An asshole Shardmind hacker

Bellatrica Beardax: Indistinguishable from a standard, very beefy dwarf warrior, except for her breasts and pink ankh earings. Aggressive, ball-busting feminazi who otherwise has great leadership skills, takes charge at AU student organizations, and runs the AU chapter of the Steel Brazier interplanar sorority. Hates fratboys.

Actually, who's Ravelor's counterpart in AU? Lord-Bishop Clearmont?

How can you not have a Crazy Hassan-like character?

For shame, /tg/. I am disappoint.

Allow me to introduce Wild Badr, king of the on-campus gray/black market.
Need weed?
Wild Badr.
Need unwilling lab rats?
Wild Badr.
Need to satisfy those dark, depraved urges that would sicken a graveyard golem?
Wild Badr.

Drives an undead camel wagon, always loaded with bards in the back, shackled to their instruments.

Why?

He rides in style, motherfuckers.

>>10535433
Not that much of a fan.
>>10535393
Absolutely a paladin.

You have my axe.

>>10535393

I rather like the idea of Ravelor and his counterpart over at AU sharing a rather cordial relationship, recognizing that their schools are weirdly symbiotic in addition to competitive. It's more of a friendly rivalry than anything else, but the two don't let anyone else in on that and pretend to hate one another in public to maintain the image.

>>10534903

>>10535838

>>10535848
>>10535838

The plot thickens!

>>10535848
Not a full page yet, so the conclusion of the scene is as follows:

DEVON (missing the sarcasm)
>EXACTLY!

Ronalt stands up, hand clasped over his heart.

RONALT
>We shall not fail you, sir.

MOONBEAM
>Yeah man, he's not, uh, a sir yet...

Devon grins and kneels down on the sidewalk.

DEVON
So here's the plan. The only real advantage they have is that the Archlector is older than sin itself. What we need to do is...

He peers around to make sure no one is listening in. He narrows his eyes at a nearby goblin gardener, then leans down to mutter.

>>10536200
I don't think they should directly attack Ravelor. Anyone who does that is going to get Power Word:Kill'd so fast it's not even funny. It'd be legal too.

>>10536321

Directly attacking Ravelor is pretty much a deathwish. Even if he's not an Epic Level Caster (which he should be), he can Timestop Delayed Blast Fireball (Sonic Energy Substitution) you so fast you won't know what happened. That is, if he decides not to just Gate you somewhere extremely unpleasant.

Larry/Hugo/Bell here, this has been a blast but I need to get out of here and get to work. Rock on, noble writefag, and if you start a new thread make sure that gets archived too.

>>10536321
Nah. They're going to vandalize his phylactery and frame Minion House.

"MINIOOOOON HOOOOOOOUSE!!!!!"

>>10536444

This!

>>10536444
THOSE DIRTY AU CREEPS!

>>10536444

Question, gentlemen. Would this framing make Devon the Paladin fall?

>>10536483
No, because that wouldn't be funny.

ｗ ｗ Ｗ . Ａ ｎ Ｏ ｎ Ｔ a L k . s e imq germhd d cutzabyp z yruat fgn a o

>>10536463

It doesn't matter, because he wouldn't do it anyway (even in a world where paladins CAN employ sly tactics, he wouldn't be the sort to do so). However, they would be used to duping him into thinking that what they're doing is perfectly forthright and/or sending him out of the room while they do anything unlawful.

(For the record, we don't specifically have to be bound to any particular D&D conventions here anyway, even though that's clearly the sort of melting-pot fantasy that we're lampooning)

>>10536483
In fact, I think that all the characters should just be unaligned. Yes, even Ravelor and the Mind Flayer.

>>10536538

I could see some shenanigans in the future based on tricking him into THINKING that he's fallen, with all the drama and ex-paladin angst that that entails, without actually doing so.

>>10536560

Nah. Ravelor is just Evil in the metaphysical sense, not really evil in any way. Similarly, Devon is Lawful Good, but not necessarily good and lawful.

>>10536538
They always put him on "lookout". Both to avoid his whining and because he's just generally irritating.

>>10536200

>>10536560

Why would you do that? Comical references to 'discriminating based on alignment' have already been made further up the thread. That's the big part of the charm for this sort of thing- that we're portraying the good/evil distinction as so pedestrian.

>>10536575

He could even go through a Blackguard *coughgothcough* phase and transfer, with all the ensuing hijinks.

>>10536614

>>10536624
Good point.

Oh man, we need to have some AU students who are actually monsters that got in on a scholarship. That way we can make fun of Drizzt as well as other characters based on "rebelling against the evil of their race" when really the entire alignment thing has become so pedestrian that it's more like a...well, a university rivalry!

>>10536643

Are we autosaging, or just getting bumped down by 10,000 trolls threads about religion and how much D&D sucked before Hasboro?

>>10536643
>>10536614

Cue minor character bursting in, looking baffled, and being sworn to secrecy.

Also, we've finally hit the bump limit. You'll need to make a new thread, noble writefag.

this thread is still alive?
Have I told you lately how much I love you /tg/?
sage so it doesn't take off the bump limit.

>>10536642
No, that's the Season Finale, a two episode arc that ends in Devon getting redeemed in the first ep of the second season.

>>10536720
Way too SERIOUS BUSINESS for this show

Thread continues here >>10536728

>>10536747
>>10536720

Nah, that's where the writers run out of material for jokes and do a Very Special Episode about the Power of Friendship wherein the Shark is Jumped. Before being fired and replaced with better writers.

>>10536770
Good...good.

>>10536747
>>10536720

I could see it, but the whole point is that he actually hasn't fallen. He thinks he's fallen for some trite offense (the kind of thing /tg/ would fall a paladin for) but the laws of the universe actually aren't that dickish and he still has his powers, he just doesn't know to use them. That or people tell him he did something bad while drunk. Or something of that sort.

So he's hanging out at Lich U in black spiked armor with his hair died black and covering one eye, offending all the demons with his pungent aura of goodness (and not beleiving them when they tell him so). Hijinks ensue as he performs harmless acts of naughtiness (mostly consisting of bats-and-skulls theatrics) and tries to fit in with the minion house fratboys.