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  • File : 1276890234.jpg-(38 KB, 304x400, fatal-cover.jpg)
    38 KB Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:43 No.10581553  
    I want to play this, no clue why but does anyone have a download for this?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:44 No.10581573
    Enjoy losing your soul.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:44 No.10581576
    You won't get to play it

    You'll give up five hours into the character creation process
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:45 No.10581584
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:45 No.10581586
    Oh god, no!
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:45 No.10581587
    Please don't.

    I'll try and find a link for you, but I ask that you don't.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:45 No.10581588
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    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:45 No.10581596
    >I want to play this

    Unfortunately no one else does. You'll be playing alone. Fatal Masturbation.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:47 No.10581628
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    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:47 No.10581636
    I'm assuming you want to play it because you have to roll for Anal Circumference, but you'll quit before playing like all the others.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:47 No.10581639
    actually, me and my friends have been joking around about this, so they said if i could find it and read it, they would torture themselves and play it
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:47 No.10581644
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    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:48 No.10581656
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    You don't want to play this. Seriously. You might want to boggle vacantly at it, but play it? No.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:48 No.10581658
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    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:49 No.10581671
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    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:49 No.10581678
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    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:50 No.10581686
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    >> Alpharius 06/18/10(Fri)15:51 No.10581703

    You misunderstand. It's nigh close to unplayable, even disregarding the sexism, racism, scatological humor, and blatant fucktardedness. It's about 900 pages long, filled with charts and tables, and has twenty different stats all determined by rolling 5d100, dividing by four, then subtracting two. It takes the better part of a day to create a character without the Character Creator, which sucks anyways.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:51 No.10581706
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    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:52 No.10581717
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    If you have read these example pages and still want to play FATAL then fuck you! You're a psycho and I'll never talk to you again!
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:52 No.10581721
    If you want an extremely bad rpg to play for laughs, play Synnibarr instead. You can find something fun in there.

    There's nothing at all redeemable in Fatal. Nothing at all.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:55 No.10581767
         File1276890930.gif-(55 KB, 330x744, races.gif)
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    Synnibarr variant races.
    >> Alpharius 06/18/10(Fri)15:56 No.10581777
    You know, we see your kind blow in every so often. You hear about FATAL and how bad it is, decide that, hey, maybe you can play FATAL successfully and become king of the neckbeards. It doesn't work. It never has. No-one has, to my knowledge, ever actually played FATAL before. Sure, people try. People try all the time. And where are they? Broken shells of men, robbed of all dignity. This probably won't stop you from downloading the file, but mark my words, you'll give up just like all the others.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:56 No.10581783
    Well this list actually looks useful.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:57 No.10581795
         File1276891038.gif-(104 KB, 450x314, ravenphoto.gif)
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    The picture of the author himself, Raven c.s. McCracken from the back of the synnibarr book.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:58 No.10581818
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    A one percent by one percent hit table of your fucking leg? No fucking thanks.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:59 No.10581832
    It's like what would happen if Toady made a PnP game.
    I like it.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)15:59 No.10581836
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    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:00 No.10581857
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    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:00 No.10581862
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    FATAL might sound so bad that it's good, or at least hilarious.
    But it isn't. It's so bad that it is unplayable. Absolutely. The books are hilarious though.
    >> Alpharius 06/18/10(Fri)16:00 No.10581868

    This man is clearly delusional. He needs to be restrained and institutionalized for his own safety and the safety of others.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:00 No.10581869
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    And looks better than the maker of FATAL.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:01 No.10581884
    >Caster hallucinates that a Pterodactyl's flying over the party, its name is Jobe. It is the casters friend.
    I am so using this idea for my next character.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:02 No.10581895
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    "gravity lizards are very intelligent"
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:02 No.10581897
    Oh and that's just leg stabbing. There's also the head, the arms and the torso. And then there's crushing and cutting. So the hit tables are fucknormous.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:03 No.10581912
    He is somehow right. FATAL would be fine as a computer game where PC handles math. Dorf Fortress would be an unplayable atrocity as a board game.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:03 No.10581914
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    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:04 No.10581925
    I think i'm going to pull these hit tables and incorporate them into other games. All the sex stuff is dumb and a waste of time but the excessive hit tables are pretty neat.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:04 No.10581931
    Read all the 2000 magical effects and be amazed.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:05 No.10581946
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    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)16:07 No.10581975
    Banned a player from my table for bringing it in in pdf format on a flash drive. Someone actually ran out after his car, trying to get it, so he could burn it.

    Every animal in nature gives a warning, no matter how brief, before it attacks and kills its prey. My friends and I call it the "rattlesnake shake"; rattlesnakes giving warning by rattling their tails in most attacks against humans. A shark rolls its eyes back before a bite.

    FATAL has a rattlesnake shake; everyone else who has heard of it.

    You're about to lose the psychological equivalent of a limb and nobody will give you the briefest sense of pity.

    You are, quite literally, the densest human being on /tg/.

    Unless you're a troll, which is amply more likely, with massive precedents - trolls are rarely original. Idiots are.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:07 No.10581976
         File1276891630.gif-(114 KB, 550x665, map.gif)
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    Synnibarr map.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:08 No.10581987
         File1276891690.gif-(20 KB, 276x423, terrapolice.gif)
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    Standard terra police equipment in synnibarr.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:08 No.10581992

    -You make a powerful swipe with your broadsword and hit him in ... [rolls] ... the distal phalanges!
    -The what?
    -The smallest bone at the end of the toe.
    -The fuck does that do?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:09 No.10582015
    >Synnibar map

    It's pretty solid for the creator being completely insane
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:10 No.10582022
    >Dark Continent

    I'm amazed there's no Light Continent on the opposite side.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)16:11 No.10582048
    >Enchanted Continent
    I wonder if it has a boat ride in it, with captive halflings forced to sing a song in it, forever.
    >Its a small world, after all... its a small world, after alll...
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:11 No.10582050
    With these excessive hit tables. Does the game also have rules for bleeding out and organ damage?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:12 No.10582052
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    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:12 No.10582054
    WwW._aNOn_+_m_-_m_+_tAlk_.se jry flh cvjz rccogvzres mdfnxcftuueq mvxq
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:12 No.10582062
    Roll for anal circumference first.
    In FATAL, the most likely wound to bleed will be someone's anus.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:15 No.10582108
    I'm ignoring the stupid sexual oriented shit. I just want the awesome hit tables.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:16 No.10582112
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    Actually, synnibarr is a "worldship" created by hollowing out mars after the earth blew up, or something.


    >over the last decade, the Synnibarr gaming system has been tested by thousands of players and hundreds of referees
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:16 No.10582127
    >Caster begins to hallucinate that the target of the spell is attempting to rape an ox.
    >Every time a spell is cast, the caster says "My cock is very small and limp!"
    >Whenever the caster opens their mouth, everyone can see eternity.

    Oh, wait, I forgot the '1000 ingredients list'
    >Gargling with cum for the duration of the spell

    Fuck that, I'm not touching that list with a 10 foot pole.
    >> Alpharius 06/18/10(Fri)16:18 No.10582144

    Look, they're not awesome, in any way, shape, or form. Every time you hit, you have to roll randomly on one of these bastards, sifting through thousands of possible results every single time, each one more inane than the last. It's perfectly possible to deal a critical hit to the belly button without damaging anything else. I can't even begin to explain how retarded that is. Gameplay screeches to a halt every time someone hits or gets hit. Tables are terrible for regular combat.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:18 No.10582150
    >I want to play this

    Trust me, you don't.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:19 No.10582174
    >implying that Dorf Fortress is not an unplayable monstrosity on the PC.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:21 No.10582200
    It is a delicious unplayable monstrosity though.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:22 No.10582212
    I think that sounds awesome.
    >> Alpharius 06/18/10(Fri)16:23 No.10582226

    Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, sir.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:24 No.10582245
    There's no general bleeding rule that I can see, but there are hit location specific hits, like dismemberment, that can cause a target to bleed out. And of course there's organ damage. Lungs, kidneys, spleen. You name it, there's a percent chance to hit it.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:26 No.10582276
    It is playable, to some extent. More playable than FATAL will ever be.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:27 No.10582288
    There was an (unfinished) FATAL campaign journal over at GiantITP not too long ago. He held the group together for three sessions before they revolted. The first session was just character generation. The rolled for random heights, weights, hair color, hair style, moles and scars which could hint at some destiny or tendency, humors such as "phlegmatic", and random occupations. He rolled some stats (anal circumference) secretly for them. No one got the natural 1000000 on the 1d1000000, which is good since I don't remember what that was even for. One person was a lord, which means he gained a level every year his lands didn't descend into utter chaos, and two every five year period. Another person made soap. He got a level every time he made and sold 1,000,000 bars of soap. it was downhill from there.
    >> Alpharius 06/18/10(Fri)16:27 No.10582299

    The Natural 1000000 is "Retard Strength," I believe.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:28 No.10582315
    The hit tables are kinda like Warhammer critical hits, or maybe MiddleEarth ones, just blown out of proportion.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:28 No.10582318

    freak of nature, actually.

    I can't believe I know that.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:34 No.10582411
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    them's fightin' words
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)16:35 No.10582426
    Its cool, anon. The game leaves scars on everyone. Its the only radioactive file on the internet.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:35 No.10582434
    Taking a game way too seriously.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:36 No.10582445
    The 10 million roll? It was the "Offspring Number" roll. Unless there's another one. Kinda hard to find anything, I'm getting distracted by things like the Hymen Resistance roll.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:39 No.10582474
    The truth hurts doesn't it asspie.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:42 No.10582514

    I'm sorry you can't spend 5 minutes learning how to use a keyboard.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:45 No.10582560
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    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:47 No.10582581
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    FATAL Explained.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)16:52 No.10582673
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    I prefer this line, from the infamous review.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:54 No.10582703
    Ahh yess, that review was some of the best hours in my life.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:58 No.10582758
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)16:58 No.10582759
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)16:58 No.10582761
    Have you read the review of the review?
    I shit ye not, it is somehow funnier than the original.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:00 No.10582773
    Could we get a link to both?
    >> The Lone Guardsman !GTO55xPMKU 06/18/10(Fri)17:02 No.10582816
    Remember when we read this, together? Together, /tg/. I thought I was strong enough to face the forces of Chaos head-on.

    And for a brief moment, I had won. I beat the FATAL game out of sheer luck.

    But I was wrong. I was wrong, /tg/. It still taints my soul.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)17:04 No.10582842
    Review of FATAL. Do not eat or drink prior to reading.
    Rebuttal of said review. Nothing... nothing ... nothing...
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)17:06 No.10582866
    Its is stronger than even gravity; it defies the gods themselves. It makes Urination rolls upon all that is holy, sacred, profane, profound, loved, hated, cherished and feared.

    It is the end of days.

    Whenever someone says "The Game", I know, deep in my heart, it means someone, somewhere, is playing FATAL.
    >> The Lone Guardsman !GTO55xPMKU 06/18/10(Fri)17:10 No.10582923
    The Dark Eldar created Slaanesh.

    Slaanesh created FATAL.


    Dice+1d982, six times, each going to a seperate page.

    If you do not find something outright offensive, horrible, or stupid each roll, you win.

    To date, I think I am the only one to do it.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:10 No.10582925

    I like to remember it by this line from the retributional

    >Reviewer: "So, basically, FATAL is the date rape RPG."
    Hall: "Another faulty conclusion drawn by Darren. Where is dating included?"
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:11 No.10582936
    I somehow think all 4 chaos gods had part creating it
    >> The Lone Guardsman !GTO55xPMKU 06/18/10(Fri)17:13 No.10582971
    To actually reply to the OP, I think FATAL is actually played as an endurance match between all players, to see who backs out first between the unnecessarily long character creation process, the world setting, and the rape, drugs, and shit (figurative and literal), to see the last person to say "I'm out."

    Last man standing is the HIGHLANDER.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:14 No.10582982
    this shit could kill an immortal
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)17:15 No.10582990
    There can be only none.
    >> The Lone Guardsman !GTO55xPMKU 06/18/10(Fri)17:18 No.10583034
    Death would be a preferrable option. Death is release.

    In all seriousness, I don't even see how this could have been approved, like, ever.

    But what scares me is that it did. FATAL is like what CWC would make.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:19 No.10583052
    Did anyone ever track this guy down?

    It seems like the kind of teenage stupidity that would lose someone a job if it came to light when they were older.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:20 No.10583053
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    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:20 No.10583062
    Fatal WAS his job

    he intended to release it and make money off it, he didnt even have a day job
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:22 No.10583079
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    >roll for Anal Circumference
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)17:23 No.10583093
    He has been tracked down, and his identity is known.
    Not even /b/ can or would touch him.
    He's that fucked up.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:26 No.10583140

    also if you're doing someone in the ass, the victim has to roll to make their endurance sustain long enough for their rectum not to tear open, which is hilarious since there's apparently no rules to get someone to STOP fucking you in the ass. You could easily be a rapist who kills enemies by splitting their assholes open and watching them bleed to death.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)17:28 No.10583162
    >implying that is not how the standard combat is played
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:31 No.10583198
    anyone know if this is 3.5 compatible? i think it would make playing pathfinder with my current group a laugh and a half, since they're all male and my character has good reason to avoid almost every single one.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:31 No.10583205
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    You must be new here.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:32 No.10583225
    No, it does not use any version of Dungeons and Dragons. D&D is at least playable.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:38 No.10583310
    >I want to play this
    You better be trollan, nigga.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)17:41 No.10583348
    In a happy, safe world - yes, he is trollan.
    This is not a happy or safe world.
    OP may run a daycare center.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:42 No.10583357

    i didn't believe you so i download the rules and god damn:

    "...the the skin between the vagina and anus rips and the 2 orifices effectively become 1." - page 53

    wow, just... wow.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:45 No.10583390
    That... The human body does not work like that... I, uh... Oww...
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)17:45 No.10583398
    I have absolutely nothing for you.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:47 No.10583416
    You don't want this. Trust me.
    >> Alpharius 06/18/10(Fri)17:48 No.10583426

    We warned you idiots. We yelled until we were blue in the face about this game. We told you, "Back off now, it's your only hope!" And what did you do? Ignored us. Well, I hope you're happy.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)17:49 No.10583448
    Some people, when seeing a rattlesnake, want to check its anal circumference. Let nature take its course from here on.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:53 No.10583510
    Wise neckbeards are wise.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)17:58 No.10583589

    i kept reading... you can smoke trees and eat mushrooms too!

    i think i've found my new character class and mission. pothead rape ogre who invades a dwarf kingdom. crowning achievement: rapes dwarf king with head, king dies and becomes rape ogre's new hat.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)18:02 No.10583638
    Get to the part about critical hits and resulting fecal count?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:04 No.10583680
    What's bad about FATAL is that there were apparently conventions for it.

    Conventions where you can play FATAL.

    Dear god, imagine the sick shits you'd find in one of them!
    >> Alpharius 06/18/10(Fri)18:06 No.10583708

    By all means, go ahead and make that character. In fact, go ahead and do it now. Right in front of us, you miserable bastard. Make that fucking character for the world to see, without the character creator. I'm calling your bluff. Here's your chance to show the old, stuffy grognards up. The floor's yours, pal.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)18:08 No.10583736
    I am also calling your bluff.
    Do it.
    I will watch you fail, fall short of your goal and lose.
    You haven't got the balls.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:11 No.10583786
    I'm not >>10583589, but cut that out! I'm playing Dragon Age and I don't want to get side tracked by challenges!
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)18:13 No.10583813
    Are you a bad enough dude to generate a FATAL character, live on /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:17 No.10583874
    Ah fuck you, now I'm downloading the goddamn pdf.

    This is not how I wanted to spend the start of the weekend.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)18:18 No.10583902
    I feel like I just talked a one-legged man into walking through a mine field.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:21 No.10583943
    Bullshit. This game isn't playable. Maybe they were playing some sort freeform fetish game, but not FATAL as written.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:22 No.10583965
    It will be an interesting experience.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:23 No.10583971
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    i couldn't be fucked rolling the character because i have to leave for work soon, so i drew a picture of him. enjoy.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:24 No.10583986
    It took me 3+ hours to create mt first and only FATAL character. Wanna compare Anal Circumference?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:25 No.10584001
    i've downloaded it. i just have to see what would happen to my priestess if she was made in fatal. maybe I can convince the gm to make her lover, too...

    god help me...
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:26 No.10584013
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    According to /co/, Crossed is their version of FATAL.

    You know what this means, /tg/?

    We need a Crossed RPG.

    Now FATAL may finally have a contender for worst and most brain bleach worthy RPG EVER!
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)18:31 No.10584069
    I have read Crossed. It is nowhere near FATAL territory. It crosses a dozen boundaries of sanity, but it nothing, I mean nothing, compared to the shota/guro/ohmakeitstopmakeitstop manga in current circulation.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:33 No.10584101
    You know, it might help if I print out a character sheet.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:35 No.10584125
    Man, I hate Crossed so much. It definitely is the FATAL of comics.
    >> MR. RAGE !D9l9S8Lio6 06/18/10(Fri)18:35 No.10584127


    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:36 No.10584136
    Is it by Garth Ennis? Because that would explain a lot. Fuck Garth Ennis.
    >> Protofag 06/18/10(Fri)18:37 No.10584151
         File1276900662.jpg-(63 KB, 600x600, protomen.jpg)
    63 KB
    Sex for the ears.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:37 No.10584156
    Garth Ennis does some fun stuff. I enjoyed his recent Punisher stuff. Crossed though...it's just vile for the sake of being vile. It's essentially gore and shock porn.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:40 No.10584195
         File1276900843.png-(699 KB, 1241x437, Ennis.png)
    699 KB
    But there are some pretty notable similarities.

    You are correct, sir.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)18:41 No.10584212
    Most of the reason for Crossed is what an outbreak comic would be like, if you legitimately removed morality from the condition. In series like The Walking Dead, its still present (in a variety of forms). When you start out Crossed, that idea is the first against the wall.

    Makes his work on the Punisher arc "The Slavers" look downright wholesome and lighthearted.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:42 No.10584220
    Fucking Garth Ennis.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)18:43 No.10584237
    >notable similarities
    - both were printed in English
    - both included words
    - the word 'hammer' was used by both
    - both make poor trolling ammo, compared to a good old-fashioned edition war.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:46 No.10584265
         File1276901181.png-(278 KB, 609x410, mjfoxfatal.png)
    278 KB
    seriously, no one?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:53 No.10584375
    They were both published, despite all reason. That's a similarity.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:54 No.10584384
    This is true for the original series; however from the reactions I've read, the ''family values'' sequel series is basically FATAL the comic.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:55 No.10584407
    I think I broke it already. My BMI came to 3778.8
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:58 No.10584431
    No, you just did the calculation wrong, you twat.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)18:58 No.10584436
         File1276901906.jpg-(44 KB, 388x442, cup of tears.jpg)
    44 KB
    Attention, Garth Ennis haters.
    Crossed will become a movie.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)18:58 No.10584439
    is crossed worth reading as anything more than a tool to traumatize yourself
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:01 No.10584478
    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)19:01 No.10584480
         File1276902098.jpg-(274 KB, 1282x896, horsecock.jpg)
    274 KB
    Its without merits, to some.
    Its without limits, to others.
    Its a pandemic apocalypse scenario with the enemy being remarkably insane, but with full judgment.
    The Crossed are crazy, certainly - its just that they're as smart as they were beforehand.
    Also, Horsecock.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:03 No.10584501
    will i vomit reading/seeing it? im not super squeemish, i just want to know what im up against
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:04 No.10584527
    Nothing you have not seen in a very mild Japanese doujin.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:05 No.10584536
    i may read it then... and i may have to put it down fast... ill find out
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:07 No.10584559
    >very mild
    As far as the /d/ stuff goes, it's probably less fucked up than the weired versions of futa. Very mild.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:12 No.10584632
    Fixed that, oh boy, rollan 1d1000000!
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)19:13 No.10584654
    ITT: we discover even /tg/'s trolls are unable to generate a FATAL character.

    Elegan/tg/entlemen, we have the silver bullet we seeking.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:14 No.10584658
    I've seen guro comics

    is it worse or softer then the average one?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:14 No.10584662

    If I remember correctly, there's a scene right near the beginning where a man and his wife are disemboweled and raped.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:14 No.10584669
    rolled 724018 = 724018

    Its >>10583874 here, I'm still working on it.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)19:18 No.10584723
    Partially correct, yes - their kid is torn into chunks, while this is occurring.

    Prove it. Post what you've generated, thus far.
    I don't believe you have generated a FATAL PC; enjoy your Synnibar character.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:20 No.10584753
    I love that Synnibarr was brought up here.

    God, what a fucking durp of a game.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:22 No.10584777
    compared to fatal it becomes quite a bit more attractive
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)19:24 No.10584808
    Compared to FATAL, any game is attractive.
    I'd rather do live-action Pokemon-based cosplay of an episode of Full House with CWC and scaredofshadows than play in a FATAL game.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:25 No.10584811
    "Burnout: For someone saying this game could be made by a 14-year old, Sartin sure does sound like one. I don't remember the last time I used the word "wang." I find the players of FATAL and I mature enough to use words like penis, dick, or cock...without giggling like Sartin obviously is after saying "wang.""
    >>implying calling it a cock makes you mature
    Are these people actually this mouth-breathingly retarded, or are we being trolled?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:25 No.10584819
    Race: Kobold
    Gender: Male
    Height: 60.39in (~ 5ft)
    Weight: 134 lbs
    Age: 21
    Eyes Brown
    Hair Colour: Light Brown
    Hair Thickness: Thin & curly
    Hair Length: Lower back
    Most Attractive Feature: Crotch
    Least Attractive Feature: Buttocks
    Skin Colour: Silvery Tan
    Facial Feature: Mouth, downward sloping
    Vision: Perfect
    Breadth: 30.195
    Areola: 1/2", medium hue
    Nipple Length: 1/4"
    Total modifiers via stats: +61 str, -9 facial attract., -28 bodily attract., +10% manhood
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:27 No.10584844
    seems like a standard kobold who just happens to have a huge dick
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:28 No.10584854
         File1276903705.jpg-(460 KB, 633x950, Goodbye_Kitty_by_Jesi86.jpg)
    460 KB
    If it's a troll, it's a legendary one spanning years and god knows how many man-hours of work. It's a troll to make /b/ put out their eyes and curse their mothers' wombs.

    I'm more upset that apparently Byron Hall is married.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:29 No.10584862
    To add to that, I also just rolled for a 2" tongue and an anal circumference of 5"-6"
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:29 No.10584868
    Hah. Nowhere does it say he has a huge donger. Just a really good looking one. It's like... the George Clooney of Dongs.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:30 No.10584879
    I love that you have to roll areola size and hue and it's not even used for anything

    Or maybe it would be crazier if it actually was used for something
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:30 No.10584890
    rolled 58, 53, 56, 60, 33, 12, 66, 33, 3, 88 = 462

    Why am I still doing this...?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:30 No.10584891
         File1276903846.jpg-(23 KB, 351x237, 1242291456598.jpg)
    23 KB
    Good news, everyone! I'm here to remind you about the best thread about a FATAL adaptation ever!


    It's called....

    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:31 No.10584898
    Crazy? We're all perfectly sane here, friend.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:32 No.10584915
    Yuo are able to slash someone in the clitoris. Half of everyone in the FATAL world is a rapist. I read the online review. Their is a link to it on 1d4chan. Please, for the love of god, read the review first. Do not look at the contents of the pages, for what has been seen cannot be unseen.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:33 No.10584919
    And for all that, I have a 5.15" dick.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:34 No.10584945
    wait a minute

    his ass is 1/10th the size of his body

    the hell?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:35 No.10584958
    his ass is bigger then his dick is long
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:36 No.10584968
    rolled 66, 89, 54, 90, 17, 84, 52, 18, 36, 90 = 596

    Don't question it, you'll go mad.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:39 No.10585008
    "I am fair. Since Darren and Jason did affect the game's development by pointing out 8 mistakes, they can be listed in the credits, if desired."

    This has to be a troll.
    To believe otherwise would be to relinquish the last of my sanity.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:39 No.10585010
    Oh good, with a manhood circumference of 5.27", I can lop it off and fuck myself with it.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:40 No.10585022
    he can fuck himself with it standing upright
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:41 No.10585033
    Okay then, should I go for the race features and spend more time doing useless shit? Or should I skip it and go straight to the abilities?

    Time spent so far: 1 hour, 13 minutes
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:41 No.10585040
    It's like they say in the review. He has this sociopathic way of saying the most bizarre and demented things as if they are perfectly normal and you are the one taking issue.

    I'd hate to see this fucker go through real life. Fortunately, judging from the content of FATAL, I doubt he's ever encountered anything that could be deemed "real".
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)19:44 No.10585066
         File1276904650.jpg-(31 KB, 348x338, hat2.jpg)
    31 KB
    As an honorable man, I concede you are of suitable trollosity to, without sarcasm or shred of duplicity, award you this, a Festive Hat. It is the only thing to offer up, and you may take heart in that I have never, ever awarded one to a troll before.
    Troll, Enjoy Your Festive Hat.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:46 No.10585081
    I shall treasure it forever!

    And I might wear it whilst I continue. I've gone this far, might as well go all the way!
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:47 No.10585105

    Personally I'd like to see you do the whole thing. All of it. Just to see if it can be done without destroying the mind. But it is your life, you risk it how you want.


    That is a delightfully festive hat.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:48 No.10585115
    Fuck it, I'm rolling for race features.

    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:49 No.10585126

    No, you're doing it with a full anal circumference of 5.6". I don't know if this is respect I feel, but it's something.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:50 No.10585133
         File1276905021.jpg-(92 KB, 760x370, 3ps_lem.jpg)
    92 KB

    God speed you, you crazy sonovabitch.

    God speed.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:51 No.10585144
    on a 60" creature?

    in his hometown he'd be the amazing mister ass putting stuff upthere and makign all people go "oooooh"

    (its fatal I'm just getting in the mood)
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:51 No.10585146
    >can you say... Sophists?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:53 No.10585164
    This just in, I have huge ass feet.

    Seriously, because I'm 6" taller than average, that gives me +60 to the foot size roll, resulting in a full 13-14" of foot. This also means I have appropriate MANHANDS.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)19:54 No.10585175
    /tg/: we get shit done.
    Even if we shouldn't.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:57 No.10585201
    You know, I'm suddenly reminded of that Dark Heresy comic I saw posted here where the speccy Adept reads through a corrupted tome, says "Well, that was a fun read!", and then very calmly blasts out the windows of the spaceship to kill everybody on board.

    Be very wary of OP if he ever finishes this.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)19:57 No.10585215
    You're sideshow bob kobold
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:04 No.10585289
    Oh good, abilities. Only took me an hour and 35 minutes to get to it.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)20:06 No.10585318
    This is like watching a bad horror movie.. with the victim describing their own torture.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:07 No.10585337
         File1276906073.jpg-(247 KB, 839x2019, 1251760468583.jpg)
    247 KB
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:08 No.10585343
    rolled 32, 61, 6, 1, 22, 88, 19, 39, 70, 94 = 432

    So bad it's good, or just plain bad?

    Either way, fuck rolling 10d100 by hand. Just did that. I pity those who did it manually.

    Though I suppose that makes them more hardcore. Or crazier.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:10 No.10585367
         File1276906233.gif-(27 KB, 125x125, title-brain_in_a_jar-2.gif)
    27 KB

    I'm listening to some of the Homestuck soundtracks as OP goes to his fate. It lends a suitably epic background. Especially Liquid Negrocity, Black and Descend

    Pic related is somewhat alike to how I imagine OP.

    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:10 No.10585370
    rolled 1, 88, 58, 51, 89, 98, 4, 64, 61, 77 = 591

    On second thought, reverting to manual mode after this. Otherwise, 19 posts of rolls shitting up the page.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)20:10 No.10585372
    Its so bad, its classified.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:12 No.10585384

    That's the one. Mark my words, if he survives his ordeal OP is going to kill us all.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:17 No.10585460
    Oh, I'm not the OP.

    I'm just a guy who was playing Dragon Age when he saw the challenge made in >>10583736 and >>10583708

    That's right, I gave up entertainment for this shit.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:19 No.10585503
    Guys, remember when it wasn't summer? When we had trolls with basic skills instead of full-on retards?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:20 No.10585528

    I don't know whether to shake your hand or run screaming from you. This is... quite something.


    Quiet you, history is being made.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)20:23 No.10585566
    When his body is found at the top of a clock tower, rifle still clutched tightly, we will look back on this moment.

    Some of us may feel profound guilt at the tragedy.
    The rest of us will be shrugging and saying, "Saw that one coming..."
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:23 No.10585568
    rolled 54, 98, 47, 49, 99, 54, 72, 34, 82, 83 = 672

    Why not shake my hand while running screaming from me? Because I'm most likely going to start chasing after random people after this.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:25 No.10585598
    rolled 32, 68, 99, 58, 96, 85, 95, 98, 91, 69 = 791

    Actually, I prefer the sound of tying a bungie cord around my scrotum and jumping off a bridge.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:25 No.10585600
    My favourite line from the rebuttal:
    >No, wait. This game still proves once and for all that Darwin was an ass-grabbing fool.
    Darwin was a great man.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:29 No.10585653
    rolled 32, 32, 93, 27, 50, 2, 4, 29, 57, 60 = 386

    Ugh, with this post, I have finished the dexterity section. That still leaves Int and Wis.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)20:30 No.10585671
    Mine is from the rebuttal commentary by burnout:
    This is where they're crucifying the designer about his overblown alcohol rules.
    >Burnout: Hmm.. So according to Unknown Armies a shot affects a 100lb. person the same as a 350 lb. person. Yeah sounds like they know how to make role-playing games. Incredibly unrealistic, un-detailed games.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:32 No.10585702
    We cannot discuss the rebuttal without mentioning how Hall and Burnout apparently didn't understand that the term "motherfucker" is almost never used absolutely literally.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:33 No.10585707
    In a universe where there is only war, this is proof there should NOT BE WINDOWS ON SPACESHIPS.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:34 No.10585724
    rolled 75, 98, 43, 16, 36, 8, 42, 25, 59, 100 = 502

    How about windows looking out onto a hull interior?
    >blatant excuse to use the dice roller
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)20:35 No.10585731
    If we expounded on each of the things that neither Hall nor Burnout understood properly, we'd need a dedicated thread.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:37 No.10585758
    rolled 94, 17, 44, 60, 26, 3, 64, 60, 19, 3 = 390

    I'm sure a rebuttal of the rebuttal that does exists somewhere.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:38 No.10585779
    Your words have merit, sir tripfag. I maintain, though.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:44 No.10585839

    Well at least you never have to wonder what to do.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:44 No.10585843
    Update: it's been 2 hours, 15 minutes since I started and I just finished rolling the sub-abilities. Once I figure out what my modifiers are, and then figure out averages, I think I'm done with that section.

    I hope I am...
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:46 No.10585871

    You can smoke trees.

    Thank Christ. I'll have to get those rules over to DH somehow. I still think my fellow interrogators think the smoke coming out of my room is obscura.... apparently 40K's too grimdark for happy drugs.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:47 No.10585877
         File1276908440.jpg-(68 KB, 500x332, ErasedRoads.jpg)
    68 KB
    You're a braver man than I am, Anon Din.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:48 No.10585893
    Whoever has it needs to post the "Awww shit, the Commisar, come hit this shit" comic.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:52 No.10585944

    That's what inspired me to it.

    FUCK ME it's lost somewhere in the morass of my /b/ folder.

    Someone re-deliver this shit so I can save it as something that makes sense.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:53 No.10585956
         File1276908804.jpg-(81 KB, 960x402, commissar chaplain weed comic.jpg)
    81 KB

    Wow, just wow, I outsmarted myself.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)20:56 No.10586006
         File1276908991.jpg-(74 KB, 446x389, emperor.jpg)
    74 KB
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)20:59 No.10586044
         File1276909170.jpg-(199 KB, 888x696, IAlwaysWantedToBeADeformedNazi.jpg)
    199 KB
    > commissar chaplain weed comic.jpg

    I know your pain. I can't count how many times I've lost a relevant pic because I gave it some absurd joke name - Or assumed I did when it had a boring one.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:01 No.10586077
         File1276909263.jpg-(68 KB, 960x402, g-wash.jpg)
    68 KB
    Original version.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:01 No.10586092
         File1276909319.jpg-(159 KB, 960x402, g-wash_stalker.jpg)
    159 KB
    GET OUT OF HERE version.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:11 No.10586223
    So, to determine the ability score, do I calculate the mean of the sub-abilities?

    Because I know of at least 3 averages.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)21:11 No.10586227
    How goes the character build?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:12 No.10586247
    2 hours 45 mins in, just determining ability scores.

    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)21:16 No.10586304
    When you get to Hell, you will have
    >2 hours 45 mins
    credit for "Time Served".
    I recommend a few smoke breaks, grab a shot of decent rum and some pre-emptive screaming.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:21 No.10586374
    Can't scream unfortunately. Family are sleeping, one of whom is a drunken Yorkshireman.

    As for the drink, will Jim Bean do?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:26 No.10586444

    The worst is how clever I think I am naming pics when I'm drunk and stoned.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:30 No.10586502
    Oh goodie, I'm not a retard!

    Well, the character isn't. I, personally, am.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:33 No.10586547
         File1276911186.jpg-(78 KB, 497x499, TryHarderStupid.jpg)
    78 KB
    Only possible explanation of why you thought this was good idea.

    I keed, I keed.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:33 No.10586552

    I'm keeping this alive with you bro. I might go out to smoke by the lake though, don't kill yourself before I get back.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)21:40 No.10586667
    Jim Beam is acceptable. The sleeping Yorkshireman remains unvouched for.
    >> Alpharius 06/18/10(Fri)21:41 No.10586674
    As the man who issued the original challenge, I have to commend you, sir. I didn't expect this dedication. If you somehow manage to succeed in this task, you shall be immortalized in the annals of /tg/ history as, "That one crazy bastard who rolled up a FATAL character by hand,"

    Godspeed, good sir, and may the Lord have mercy on us all.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:41 No.10586676
    My kobold is, surprisingly, Neutral Neutral.

    Moving on to temperament, suddenly, several pages of bollocks!
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:42 No.10586692
    Fuck, this reminds me. How am I going to upload this to you lot?

    I'm unsure as to if you can read scanned sheets written in pencil.
    >> Alpharius 06/18/10(Fri)21:42 No.10586697

    Either a photograph or a scanner, I suppose. We'll just squint.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)21:47 No.10586766
    Compared to the Hell he's suffering, it is the least we could do.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:47 No.10586772
    Could someone archive this thread?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:49 No.10586798
    Archive request sent.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:51 No.10586827
    Melancholic-Choleric kobold.

    Does this work?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:53 No.10586850
    He's Manic-Depressive?
    Whatever, not like you're going to be actually playing him.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:53 No.10586857
    Is this thread still going? Good god.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:54 No.10586870
    You're one sick mother fucker you know that?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:55 No.10586899
    rolled 731, 716, 35, 838, 625, 917, 426, 9, 90, 293 = 4680

    Scores were 5 Sanguine, 73 Choleric, 84 Melancholic and 53 Phlehmatic.

    Also, let's roll for a mental disorder! Because we can!
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)21:56 No.10586917
    rolled 45 = 45

    Well shit, I screwed that slightly.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:02 No.10587012
    {1d20 / [(1d12 + 1d20) - 1] / [5100 - age]}

    That's to determine birthday? What the shit were they smoking?!
    >> Alpharius 06/18/10(Fri)22:03 No.10587039

    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)22:04 No.10587057
    I have no fucking idea what they were smoking. I have never done crack, so it might be that. Burnout admitted to smoking weed, but I don't consider that a ding against weed smokers; Charles Manson smoked weed, too, but he didn't create a batshit RPG.

    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:08 No.10587148
    Well, according to that bullshit formula, I rolled a 10, a 12, and a 4.

    So, that's 10 / (15 / 5079), which is 3386.

    ...so, uh, that's 3/3/86? Ah fuck it, it works.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:10 No.10587188
    And we're a slave.

    Someone found a use for that asshole 1/10th the size of our body!
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:10 No.10587196
    See, Riddle of Steel could make gigantic injury tables work because they were static, like damage levels that you would just acquire in certain places, and because the game was ABOUT fighting hyper-detailed combats.
    FATAL is like that for everything, except half as well thought out and twice as tediously complicated for no reason, with the distinct undertone of atrocious writing and vulgarity.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:11 No.10587213
         File1276913500.gif-(864 KB, 320x240, Jack Agrees.gif)
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    Manson smoked weed, too, but he didn't create a batshit RPG.

    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:12 No.10587221
         File1276913524.jpg-(170 KB, 622x351, legendarycelda.jpg)
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    Here, you poor brave bastard: this is what your kobold will look like.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:13 No.10587234
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:17 No.10587290
    rolled 13 = 13

    >Riddle of Steel
    What's this one then? First I've heard of it.

    Also, rollan for gay
    >> LogicNinja !AZlS3./ex. 06/18/10(Fri)22:18 No.10587305
    It's Realistic Simulationist Medieval Combat: the RPG.

    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:20 No.10587336
    >roll for debauchery
    >roll "receive anal sex"
    >we're a slave with a 5-6" ass who takes it up the poop chute
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:20 No.10587348
    Okay, so we've ascertained that FATAL sucks in most ways.

    But are there things that are good about it?

    A few simple rules or fluff that you can add into a different system and work?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:22 No.10587368
    >mention an obscure system
    >LogicNinja immediately posts

    Jesus christ, it's like a batsignal or something.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:22 No.10587376
    If you're really desperate, you could use it for character ideas.

    But I would honestly recommend the Central Casting series for that. Less bullshit.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)22:23 No.10587385
    If you were completely insane, totally lost and absolutely alone in a desolate scorched Earth scenario, I wouldn't recommend using that game for kindling.

    It has zero redeeming qualities.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:23 No.10587388
    It makes me feel better about my system that is tell me what you're going to do and roll d6. No modifiers. Succeed on 6 fail on 1. Roll until either is achieved.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:23 No.10587391
    >riddle of steal

    I read this as "It's not D&D or a WW game so it means no one knows about it"
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:24 No.10587404
    Riddle of Steel is pretty obscure.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:24 No.10587415
    When burned, the light almost manages to not cast shadows of depravity and horror on the wall, highlighted by an unearthly and vile hue. Also, the sound of the book being consumed by the flames is usually distinguishable from the tormented wails of the damned, and the ash only sometimes smells of rotting blood, shit and weeping syphilitic pustules.
    >> LogicNinja !AZlS3./ex. 06/18/10(Fri)22:24 No.10587416
         File1276914280.jpg-(22 KB, 167x167, FoShizzle.jpg)
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    I'm Batman.
    >> LogicNinja !AZlS3./ex. 06/18/10(Fri)22:25 No.10587424
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    That sounds like an Unknown Armies rumor about FATAL.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:25 No.10587431
    Oh wait, I read the female debauchery table.

    Screw it, I'm keeping it.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:26 No.10587454
    On this board, that's a fair guess.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)22:26 No.10587458
    Its been five years since I was on the UA website... I have no idea what they thought/think of FATAL. I am worried about showing up to check...
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:27 No.10587471
    Plenty of people know about, say, WFRP, or GURPS, or even BRP. Riddle of Steel really is an obscure indie game.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:28 No.10587480
    I don't think they care about FATAL. Nobody cares about FATAL anymore except channers in it for "teh lulz".
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:28 No.10587487
    That's practically on the masthead, right under the SPAMMER: DEAD OR ALIVE postings.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:28 No.10587492
    FATAL is very much like the Necronomicon, except that at least the Necronomicon tends to get you eaten by monsters before the full horror can sink in.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:29 No.10587502
    >Scores were 5 Sanguine, 73 Choleric, 84 Melancholic and 53 Phlehmatic.
    so what the fuck does that mean?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:29 No.10587505
    >weeping syphilitic pustules

    But according to the makers of FATAL, there is no definitive evidence that venereal diseases existed in the Middle Ages, so syphilis is not included.

    Never mind that anorexia nervosa is a possible mental disorder, despite being one of the most modern things conceivable...
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:33 No.10587570
    >slurp, gobble! Mmm, this tripfag cock is so delicious. Sluuuurp.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:33 No.10587579
    >FATAL is very much like the Necronomicon, except that at least the Necronomicon tends to get you eaten by monsters before the full horror can sink in.
    Do not erect that which you cannot put down.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:34 No.10587593
    From what I remember, it's a bullshit personality thing. The top two highest scores are your primary and secondary temperaments, in this case Melancholic-Choleric.

    In other words, an introverted-extrovert, or something like that.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:35 No.10587607
    Recognising that someone exists is as demeaning as sucking cock?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:35 No.10587615
    >Do not erect that which you cannot put down.
    That's what I told your mom.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:35 No.10587624
    >sucking cock
    Why do you expect to ever get a blowjob if you think that way.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:36 No.10587634
    If you ever feel the need to use "erect" and "FATAL" in the same sentence, where "erect" is describing something in the real world, then it's already too late for you. The best you can do is purge yourself now, before the contagion has a chance to spread.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:36 No.10587636
    Wait a second, I have to roll my skill points?

    I have to roll 21 times to see how many points I have for skills?

    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:37 No.10587651
    It's the worst RPG ever.

    We told you, cockfalcon.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:38 No.10587674
    The KZ system, in tabletop form.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:38 No.10587684
    But I'm not the OP. I'm someone who told Dragon Age to fuck off while I do something about as fun as pulling your intestines out of your ass.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:40 No.10587710
    It only gets worse. At each level up, you have to roll to see how many points you're allowed to put in them each level.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:40 No.10587712
    It's official. Guy rolling, you must tripfag yourself as cockfalcon!
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:40 No.10587714
         File1276915219.jpg-(76 KB, 511x344, fivedollarfootlonggirl.jpg)
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    If you stop now, you'll never achieve immortality.

    Keep going!
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:41 No.10587740
    Introversion/extroversion and temperaments are not the same thing. They cross at some points though.
    Also, a person who is equally melancholic/choleric is some sort of serious bullshit.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:43 No.10587781
    I say FATAL is a perfect system.

    Note, I said A perfect.

    In other words, it has attained a form of perfection-perfection equaling the pinnacle and unsurpassable state of being.

    Nobody can make a worse system. Not even the top rules lawyers at /tg/.

    It is the perfect flawed system.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)22:43 No.10587789
    Our warnings abounded, though. The rattlesnake shake was a damned loud one, at that.

    Stay strong, anon.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:44 No.10587800
         File1276915453.png-(176 KB, 448x268, wtf.png)
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    Just got finished reading both of these.
    The review was damn funny. And I lol'd heartily.

    But the rebuttal.... Good God man!
    It's like every word is chosen to be intentionally stupid.
    Pic related
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:46 No.10587830
    >Nobody can make a worse system.
    Someday I will try.
    An easy way to start would be doubling the rolls on anything FATAL has.
    >> LogicNinja !AZlS3./ex. 06/18/10(Fri)22:47 No.10587852
    >Nobody can make a worse system.
    Racial Holy War.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:48 No.10587876
    It's been abandoned though. Somehow people are still working on FATAL.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:48 No.10587877
    What I want to understand is 2 things. How did somebody think writing a 1000 page RPG book with rolls to determine anal circumfrance was going to sell and who on earth actually bought this book to scan it.
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)22:48 No.10587878
    Till the end of time?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:50 No.10587911
    If you so wish.
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)22:51 No.10587939
    Well, I was going to put points in sexual adeptness (seeing as this kobold likes it up the chocolate tube), but the modifier from the sub-abilities would make the total modifier -22 at the most.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)22:51 No.10587940
    There are FATAL-based RP forums.
    If 4chan can support /b/, it is proof that the internet can support anything, period.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:51 No.10587952
    >There are FATAL-based RP forums.
    No, there aren't.
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)22:53 No.10587985
    There's a skill in dying?

    Okay, there has to be another use for it, it can;t be your ability to die, right?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:58 No.10588096
    New FATAL stat. Roll for how many ounces of fluid your intestines can hold and how far you can squirt said liquid with your anus.

    73 ounces and 4 feet 6 inches!
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:58 No.10588102
    that would be one of the things I'd like IRL

    fun skill to score a critical failure in
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)22:59 No.10588105
    Let's see, I've done the character info, the (sub) abilities, etc etc, just finished skills, don't get an inventory and don't get magic points.

    Am I finished, is it done?
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)22:59 No.10588108
    If it was, it would be the only skill anyone tied to FATAL would ever want to have.
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)23:00 No.10588126
    Just checked, it's your skill in using dyes.

    I am disappoint.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:01 No.10588146
    You forgot the drinking, the sobbing, and the fistful of pills hastily swallowed before you curl up into the fetal position and wait for the hurting to end forever.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:01 No.10588150
    that's spelled dyeing though
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)23:02 No.10588180
    My ex-roomie found (and inflicted upon me) several campaign forums; most are based out of places like bbs.stardestroyer.net. One was on WORA or SWOFA, for a while.
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)23:03 No.10588199
    The drinking I have covered. Just finished the last of my glass of Jim Beam.

    The rest I have yet to do. But if someone could confirm that I have indeed finished everything I can, I will then get round to figuring out my scanner again to show you my shitty ass handwriting. And to prove I did this piece of shit.

    Total time is 3 hours, 30 minutes.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:04 No.10588217
    Your not finished yet. You will never be finished.

    You see, the terrible secret of FATAL is that there's always another page. Sure, you can skip to the end of the book and see what's there, but if you start reading the rule book, after so many pages you'll realize that you're not getting any closer to the end of the book. Unless you deliberately skip to the end, the book will continue forever.

    FATAL never ends.
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)23:05 No.10588237
    Don't pull that shit on me. It's 4am, I want sleep!
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:05 No.10588240
    >start reading the rule book from the beginning,
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:06 No.10588254
    >Don't pull that shit on me. It's 4am, I want sleep!

    No you DON'T want to sleep. That's when the dreams come!!
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)23:06 No.10588260
    Your handwriting is automatically excused. I would have long-since chewed my wrists open in an attempt to keep it from happening. That kind of thing destroys your fine motor skills.
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)23:07 No.10588284
    Regardless, I think the character is created. GIve me a minute to realise I haven't installed the scanner software on this PC and remember that the install CD is in the garage loft, causing me to break down crying at my inability to prove I did it.
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)23:09 No.10588303
    Oh thank fuck, it's installed!
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:10 No.10588321
    When you come back with the CD you'll have found the the character sheet has mysteriously disappeared.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:10 No.10588328

    If you can get proof, we will always remember you as "That poor mad bastard who rolled a FATAL character so we didn't have to". We shall tell tales of your exploit. Admittedly, you'll probably end up like the protagonist at the end of a Lovecraft story, alone and mad, but you'll be remembered!
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)23:12 No.10588368
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    Here it is, page 1. I'll take a look through the other pages, see what's worth uploading.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:13 No.10588400
    >Admittedly, you'll probably end up like the protagonist at the end of a Lovecraft story, alone and mad, but you'll be remembered!
    Not that you'll be remembered as a hero.
    No, your story will be a cautionary tale.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)23:13 No.10588404
    If you should (very likely, now) find yourself in prison, approach the biggest badass in the yard and stare him straight in the eye.

    Then say, "I built a full-length character in FATAL."
    Deck him, as hard as you can, and follow it up with:
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)23:15 No.10588439
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    More views of the anal circumference and temperament & morality scores.
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)23:17 No.10588486
    Apart from the skills, and a weird message I wrote regarding my inability to spell on the languages page, that seems to be it. Give me a moment to put them all on one page.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:20 No.10588549
    Someone made a thread about you on page one.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:21 No.10588581

    I was puzzling over the initiative bit when I noticed

    >hymen resistance

    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)23:22 No.10588606
    That is terrifying on many levels.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:25 No.10588682
    MY EYES!!!
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)23:27 No.10588725
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    Also. which one of you took the end of my mechanical pencil?
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)23:27 No.10588730
    You heard me say "terrifying", right?
    That's not a code word for something.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:28 No.10588766

    It's probably this one.


    Tell them! Tell the people! Before it's too late!
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:29 No.10588783
    >> 01011001 !!0e0rM3tVUOn 06/18/10(Fri)23:30 No.10588797
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    >There are FATAL-based RP forums.

    No. No. That's not true. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE

    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)23:33 No.10588849
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    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)23:37 No.10588932
    Well chaps, it's been fun...sort of. But it's late and I must retire to bed.

    That and the realisation that I just spent 3 1/2 hours creating a character I'll never use has hit me and I want to go cry now.
    >> 01011001 !!0e0rM3tVUOn 06/18/10(Fri)23:38 No.10588949
    I commend your perseverance, at the very least. You've been a real sport.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:39 No.10588966
    You're some sort of hero. I wish I could give a better compliment than that. But I'm afraid you're terminally insane
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)23:39 No.10588976
         File1276918786.jpg-(48 KB, 410x361, just a cat.jpg)
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    You did good.
    You have made a cautionary tale that will be followed for years.
    Think of yourself as the guy in the urban legend who gets killed by a hook-handed murderer at Lookout Point, except you are the hook-handed killer and now insane.

    Pic unrelated; its just a cat.
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)23:42 No.10589022
    Why not the guy who spots the murderer in the window looking in at him, until he realises that's his reflection?
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)23:43 No.10589050
    Sure. Why not.
    Just remember: when you finished that character (fuck, when you *started* that character) its all /sanity from here on in.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:45 No.10589085

    Almost anybody can fit one gallon of mayonnaise in their ass. You must be a midget or small child.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:49 No.10589173
    ...that...that isn't mayo.
    >> dashingbastard !!6cKrJu499+/ 06/18/10(Fri)23:51 No.10589227
    ...nor a small child.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:53 No.10589266
    I was tempted to offer you an opportunity to play the character... but then I realized what I was doing.
    >> Anonymous 06/18/10(Fri)23:54 No.10589279

    Anal halfling projection traps.
    >> cockfalcon !2hWr5H5reU 06/18/10(Fri)23:56 No.10589323
    Eh, at the very least, it gave me an idea to play my next character as a kobold slave.
    >> 01011001 !!0e0rM3tVUOn 06/18/10(Fri)23:57 No.10589352
    The worst part is, it's even worse than that sounds somehow
    >> Anonymous 06/19/10(Sat)00:37 No.10590112
    why was this thread so awesome
    i am grinning like a maniac
    >> Alpharius 06/19/10(Sat)00:45 No.10590294
    The only problem with this thread is I can't sufficiently explain to my wife what I'm laughing so hard at. I just tried to and succeeded only in muttering something about rolling for anal circumference, which I really don't think helped a lot.

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