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  • File : 1282425046.jpg-(50 KB, 650x615, Marcius Flavius.jpg)
    50 KB Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)17:10 No.11769524  
    Commander Marcius Flavius sat at the table across the Iron Man. To his sides sat Tech-Priest La Forge, the half-xenos psyker Troi, the xenos warrior Worf, and Sister-Apothecary Crusher. Brother-Captain Picard was on the bridge.

    Why he had been selected for the Imperial-Federation officer exchange program, the Imperial Fist would never know.

    "So let me make sure I understand this game," he started, staring across from the Iron Man, whom he didn't slay only on orders from the Brother-Captain. "We... gamble."

    "That is correct, Commander." replied the white-skinned android. "To be more specific, if you think your opponent is 'bluffing,' you may react in a different way than if you think his hand is strong. Many people lose money on this game and find it addictive, though we use worthless chips instead."

    "Wait." the wheels in the commander's head were turning, and everyone faced him, even Data stopping his shuffling. "Wait, this is a game about confusing your enemies with lies and planning, which you can counter by barging through their lies and being valorous, but that is addictive like a sickness, and since it's a game, people find it pleasurable?"

    "I suppose so." replied the Tech-Priest, placing his arm on the table.

    Commander Flavius immediately left the room without saying anything more. Truly, the effects of the Chaos gods could be felt even here.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)20:53 No.11771916
    >more Commander Marcus Flavius

    God DAMN /tg/ you suck today; why are you ignoring this?
    >> Stan !4Cnyf6Sgvc 08/21/10(Sat)21:05 No.11772078
    Oh Emperor this is awesome.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)21:06 No.11772106
    Cause there's Krieg writefriends about.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)21:09 No.11772140
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    There are those among us who want moar.
    >> AGE AGE 08/21/10(Sat)22:11 No.11772816
    More please!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)22:16 No.11772861
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)22:17 No.11772886

    Did anyone ever write about Riker seducing a bolter bitch?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)22:27 No.11772979
    Picard sat in his ready room reviewing another report. According to the last message Riker had taken to the role of regimental commissar rather disturbingly well, Picard was somehow sure getting Riker to give up the gold encrusted hat jacked and pistol when he got back was going to be almost as trying as dealing with their temporary commander. Allmost.

    There was a chime at the door followed a booming voice that could be heard quite clearly through the bulkhead. "You summoned me Brother-Captain?". Picard took several deep breaths and said "Enter".

    The Marcus carefully negotiated his way through the door. It had taken six sternly worded lectures, LaForge first re-enforcing then ultimately applying a force field to the main bulkheads to prevent the commander from enlarging them with explosives.

    "Commander Flavius... you enjoyed your recent shore leave?" He asked.

    "I was able to make productive use of your lax and decadent grant of time for personal idleness yes"

    "Good. Good..." Picard paused "Only I've received some complaints."


    "Well first, the rest planet we booked for you had taken alot of time and trouble to prepare suitable accommodations for you. So they were quite put out when you didn't show up. I would like you to send a formal appology to them."

    Marcus Grumbled "Yes sir."

    "One other... minor, I'm sure trivial complaint... a federation colony world rose in rebellion, slaughtered all the non humans in it's population and has declared it's intent to subjugate the sector for the god emperor. Honestly, I'm not even mad about this one. I'm just curious how you managed it."
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)22:32 No.11773034
    Stuff like this makes me want to recruit an near-insane SUPER PIOUS ALL THE TIME warrior for ME3.

    I can only imagine my computer constantly hitting the Renegade button if Shepard speaks with him.

    "Why hello, Marcius Flav-"
    "Why such a long face Shepard? Remembering that IDLENESS won't bring Tali back?"
    *Shepard runs off crying ;____; *
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)22:35 No.11773065
    >Commisar Riker
    >My face

    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)22:40 No.11773131
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)22:42 No.11773152
         File1282444936.jpg-(2 KB, 300x57, captcha.jpg)
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    >holy fuck captcha, is that a dick? are you drawing dicks at me?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)22:44 No.11773181
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)22:56 No.11773351
    why is everyone ignoring this thread?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)22:58 No.11773378
    We really aren't, just awaiting the posting of more.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:03 No.11773458
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    Spamming 'moar' won't acctually make the writefaggotry come any faster, contrary to popular belief.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:07 No.11773498
    Battle-Brother Riker stepped into the Adeptus Sororitas temple slowly and carefully. From what he'd been told, the Sisters took their oaths and loyalty to the Emperor VERY seriously, even moreso than the average space marine.

    And the average space marine, in his experience, was as likely to open fire on aliens without talking has he was to breathe.

    "Greetings, Battle-Brother." A white-haired woman in black-and-red armor approached him, while many other woman, whose hair were all dyed white but not in armor, prayed silently across the large opening hall.

    "I am Sister Herelen, the caretaker for this temple." She gave a slight bow, to which Riker responded with a much more dramatic one. She seemed approving. "Forgive me, but the Phalanx's message on why you would be visiting us was... poorly-worded. I would appreciate some clarity."

    Riker coughed awkwardly, and eventually forced out a "I would like to borrow some power armor." in as much a whisper as he could.

    "What?" she asked, confused.

    "I am merely an honorary battle-brother, Sister. I have not taken the gene-seed of a Primarch into me." Even though the Federation cared not at all about homosexuality, even Riker could tell how gay that sounded. "And as I am to old to do so in any case, I cannot. This leaves me in the awkward position of being unable to join the Imperial Fists in battle, as I cannot use space marine power armor, so..." he trailed off, rolling his head to finish his point.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:07 No.11773509
    "You are aware that we only adorn *women* in armor, are you not?"

    "Yes, but, I was hoping maybe a Tech-Priest could iron out the--" Riker paused, pierced by a stare by the Sister, obviously unamused by the idea of altering holy armor. "Well, I--"

    "Come with me."

    She led him through the hallways of the temple, all adorned with gold, black, and red artwork of the Emperor, marble statues to the sides of the halls making it almost hard to walk. Multiple times, Riker had to duck his head beneath the crossed spears of marble Adeptus Custodes as a portrait of the Emperor looked at him, judging him for sins the artist had assumed he'd committed.

    Eventually they came to a room that Riker easily identified as an armory. He'd seen bolters and powerswords before, they were standard armament for the Fists, but he was only just now exposed to flamers.

    He did not like them.

    "Here." she said, gesturing to dozens of suits of armor on the far wall, identical save for their sizes: some were obviously for petite women, while others were for... less petite women.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:08 No.11773522
    "What's--" was all Riker got out, before a heavy slap on his back sent him stumbling forward to the largest suit, made for a 5'10" or so heavyset woman. "What's this?"

    "Your armor." she said simply. "It is the only thing you might fit in."

    She forced him to undress and suit up in front of her, and by the time he was done, it now appeared to her that she stood before a standard Sister of Battle... save for the obviously male face and beard.

    Her heart stopped for a moment as she looked at Riker's awkward, uncomfortable face as he tested out the armor's abilities.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:09 No.11773533
    >even Riker could tell how gay that sounded

    ovelfune sciences, I lol'd
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:10 No.11773546
    Don't some inquisitors also wear power armor?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:14 No.11773609
    Yes they do, but try getting some from them.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:16 No.11773638

    You wouldn't get power armor from AN INQUISITOR. You would get it from the same place they did: the AdMech.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:20 No.11773669
    Riker in Sister of Battle armor...

    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:24 No.11773712
    Commander Riker in...would he still have the boobs?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:26 No.11773734
    well, I doubt they would let him change it

    >the Fist's faces when he goes back on the Phalanx with tits
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:26 No.11773738
    Altering the form of Sororitas power armor would defile its purity and anger the machine spirit.

    >> Commissar-Kun !uNEmgZBQBo 08/21/10(Sat)23:26 No.11773742

    Yes I'm surprised the admech weren't up to the task on this one.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:29 No.11773771

    I just picture a half-dozen of them snickering together through their respective vox.

    It was probably one of the AdMech who told Riker to go to the Sororitas.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:29 No.11773773
    maybe they just thought this would be much funnier. They don't get a lot of things to laugh about.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:31 No.11773792
    the Fist's Chapter Master is probably fucking with him after Riker explained the stun setting to him
    >> That fucking Techpriest !G5SvoRhkI. 08/21/10(Sat)23:34 No.11773819
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    The fuck you talking about?

    The Admech laugh about all sorts of shit. We laugh about you, we laugh about the Imperium, we laugh about 010011000110, we laugh about that guy whose name is 2Q4B, we laugh about meat, we laugh about how overall superior we are oh and we laugh about your obsession with sex.

    Oh we also laugh about the fact that technically we are SUPER HERETICS according to your religion, but you love us anyways.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:37 No.11773843
    >we laugh about 010011000110
    You laugh about... L?
    >> That fucking Techpriest !G5SvoRhkI. 08/21/10(Sat)23:38 No.11773853
         File1282448295.jpg-(305 KB, 1000x1250, 1280541037869.jpg)
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    AHAHAHAHAAHA! oh man it cracks me up everytime I hear it.

    Seriously it's an in joke you wouldn't understand.

    hehe L..
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 08/21/10(Sat)23:38 No.11773860

    You would not understand.

    It is pinnacle of comedy.

    >received judized
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:39 No.11773869


    Those must be some pretty obscure injokes.
    >> That fucking Techpriest !G5SvoRhkI. 08/21/10(Sat)23:41 No.11773880

    You just don't understand AdMech humour man. You couldn't understand.

    You've got all that...meat and goo and fluids and more goo and the blood! OH BY THE OMNISSIAH HOW CAN YOU TOLERATE THE CONSTANT SLOSHING OF FLUID?!
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:42 No.11773887
    Easy there HK-47
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:44 No.11773903
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    SILENCE! Hold your tongue or cut it off cur for your ceaseless waggling irks me.
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:47 No.11773934
    I feel like we went off topic somewhere... but I'm not entirely sure where
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:47 No.11773938

    Jesus Fuck is that supposed to be the Joker as an Ad Mech?
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:52 No.11774001
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    That's it cur, you've offended the Machine Cult. Secutors, take this sake of meat to processing plant so we make use of his fleshly bit. Muhahahahaha.... uh I mean *Beepbopbeep*
    >> That fucking Techpriest !G5SvoRhkI. 08/21/10(Sat)23:59 No.11774080
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    Oh leave him be. It's not his fault he's inferior.

    Remember they told us that people would fear how fucking awesome we are (pic related)
    >> Anonymous 08/21/10(Sat)23:59 No.11774088
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)00:06 No.11774171
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    You are malfunctioning, Brother-Techpriest. You would let these fleshy pieces of meat excrete all over our sacred cogitators?! We must make an example out the blasphemer! THERE MUST BE PENANCE!
    >> That fucking Techpriest !G5SvoRhkI. 08/22/10(Sun)00:09 No.11774208

    They're not excreting. They're just being silly and cowering.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)00:20 No.11774351
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    Come on, writefag!
    >> Red Six 08/22/10(Sun)01:05 No.11774859
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    Red Six standing by.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)01:14 No.11774928
    Okay instead of a simple bump how about this...Wait I'm not OP so...yeah this ain't going to be cannon.

    Giving himself a once over an odd thought came over the commander spinning a full 360 giving the sister a chance to see the absurdity of sticking Riker of all people in one of their suits. 'If I'm going to be stuck in this mind as well have fun with it.'

    "So," he said in all seriousness, "How do I look?"

    The sister started to snicker but couldn't say anything.

    "Well," Riker continued on un-phased by his companions silence he motioned to his breast plate, "I think these are going to make me a little top heavy but that's something I can live with...But in all honesty I believe the colors are needs to be changed to the of the crew of the Phalanx." The commander clapped his hands together, "I also need a banner of the Imperial Fist with me wherever I go also...after all they're the ones sponsoring me."

    Her response was a squeak of, "Of course." Before the sister bolted out of the armory laughing as she went.

    Onboard the Phalanx the Chapter Master stood waiting for their honorary Battle-Brother to return via Teleport along with several of his staff standing next to him. He had expected company to return with the Commander, more likely than not angry company, considering where he sent the man to be suited. However, what came on board wasn't what he expected.

    Dressed in SoB's armor painted in Imperial Fist colors Commander Riker held a banner adorned with he Chapter's insignia. Many of the present Astartes didn't see the amused smile on the smaller man's face but they did hear his voice, "Sirs, I'm ready to fight on land, sea, or space in the suit you had provided to me."

    "No...no, no, nononononon-"

    The look of absolute horror and denial on all Astartes present would be a fond memory in the minds and lore of all Sisters for generations to come...
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)01:16 No.11774939
    "So what are the other chapters, Commander?" asked Doctor Crusher, as she treated an ensign with powersword-inflicted wounds yet again. Commander Flavius was a harsh instructor in the holodeck.

    "The only other chapters worth discussing are the loyalist founding ones." he said disapprovingly. "You already know of the Imperial Fists, but there eight others."

    "Are there?" she said, uninterested and regretting making conversation.

    "Yes. The Dark Angels are crazy assholes who dress in robes and play up their mysteriousness. The White Scars are sociopathic hit-and-run tacticians. The Space Wolves are oddly like your Klingons, except with a liking for jetbikes. The Blood Angels are effeminate women-men."

    "Sounds awful." she replied, using the dermal regenerator. She wasn't even sure how Flavius had managed to puncture the small intestine and the liver got into it, and she got the feeling it wouldn't help to know.

    "The Iron Hands are... acceptable, but emphasize replacing Emperor-given flesh with mechanical parts. They would approve of Tech-Priest La Forge."

    "I bet."

    "The Ultramarines are proud, noble warriors, though a little too regimented. The Salamanders... actually, now that I think about it, I've never met a Salamander, but I know they like fire. Finally the Raven Guard like using needlessly complicated plans to accomplish the same things other chapters can do much more quickly."

    "I see."

    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)01:17 No.11774948


    >> Synbios !!wutpLZkcFng 08/22/10(Sun)01:21 No.11774977
    >Her heart stopped for a moment as she looked at Riker's awkward, uncomfortable face as he tested out the armor's abilities.

    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)01:33 No.11775119
    A bit long, two parts to this.

    "Explain again your position on this vessel Brother," boomed Commander Marcius Flavius.

    Swenson rubbed his eyes and sighed.

    "For the third time Commander, I am the ships Science Officer. I am head of the Science Department and when required I advise the command staff on matters of a technical and or scientific nature by drawing on the expertise of my staff and Federation records," Swenson said.

    "Does not Battle-Brother Data perform your function?" Flavius asked.

    "He used to, but he's now Operations Officer, but Picard is such a raging queen that, oh never mind. Why are you even here again?" Swenson said, clearly annoyed.

    "Brother-Captain Picard has sent me here to learn the ways of your Federation. I obey," Flavius said.

    "The ways of our Federation? Like not blowing the shit out of everything you see? Yeah, that's called learning. You might want to look into it." Swenson said turning to a nearby console and entering data.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)01:33 No.11775131

    Part Two.

    Flavius waited patiently. His time with Swenson had been commaned by Picard himself and he would do his duty as a loyal officer. Though during crises of faith he sometimes questioned the wisdom of the entire officer-exchange program. Such heretical thoughts were quickly abandoned as the many screens covering the walls of Brother Swenson's office lit up with maps, charts, diagrams, menus and text.

    "This is the Romulan Empire. One hundred, sixty eight point one teraquads of information," Swenson said. "Everything we have ever learned about them. History, biology, sociology, economics, technology, philosophy, tactics, evolution, politics, cartography and cuisine."

    "Right now you are looking at the top billionth of one billionth of one percent of everything we know about the Romulans." Swenson said. "You want to know anything about the Romulans that doesn't require a crystal ball? Me and my experts can deliver it to you in an accurate, succinct, and bulleted list suitable for your presentation software of choice."

    Flavius made no response, his head slowly scanning across the dozens of screens, pausing a moment at each one to absorb its contents.

    "Do you understand what I do now Commander Flavius?" Swenson asked, irritated at the silence.

    Flavius said nothing, continuing his survey of the information present. When completed he took a moment before turning to Swenson.

    "I begin to. Tell me more of this Science and the ways of your Federation," Flavius said.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)01:36 No.11775161
    >Okay instead of a simple bump how about this...Wait I'm not OP so...yeah this ain't going to be cannon.
    That's not how canon works on /tg/. If we like it, it's canon. If we don't, it's not.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)02:18 No.11775560
    This is the start of something...
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)02:39 No.11775818
    "Warp signature detected, unknown race and class."

    Captain Picard turned to Data, but before he could issue an order the booming voice of Commander Marcius Flavius filled the bridge.

    "We must open a hailing frequency!"

    Had the bridge of the Enterprise not been carpeted you could have heard a pin drop. The faint sound of jaws dropping could be faintly heard as the bridge crew turned to the exchange officer from the Imperium in astonishment.

    "Please expand on that if you will Commander Flavius," Picard asked, who alone with Data was not staring goggle-eyed and slack-jawed at the armor-clad Space Marine.

    "By opening a hailing frequency we will learn their ways and gain tactical advantage," Flavius said. "We will take what we learn and use Science to better understand our foe so we may crush them when they realize that their foul xeno trickery has failed and inevitably attack us. Such is the way of the Federation."

    "Essentially correct Commander Flavius," said Data. "Shall I open a hailing frequency Captain?"

    Picard glared at his android officer.

    "Have I erred?" Data asked.

    Picard took a moment to collect himself, staring daggers at his innocent looking Operations Officer and the beaming (could you beam under power-armor?) exchange officer.

    "We will discuss tact later Mr. Data, but by all means hail them," Picard said.
    >> Captain Rhodes 08/22/10(Sun)02:42 No.11775862
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    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)02:45 No.11775900
    This is... beautiful. It's Flavius learning to fit in (sort of), without abandoning his character, and fulfilling his mission by learning something valuable to bring back.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)02:45 No.11775904

    This is gonna be so fucking insane I think my head just exploded.

    Yep, it exploded.
    >> That fucking Techpriest !G5SvoRhkI. 08/22/10(Sun)02:45 No.11775907

    It's like he turned into a member of the Mentor Legion...QUICKLY! CHECK TO SEE IF HIS ARMOUR IS GOING GREEN AND WHITE!
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)02:46 No.11775914
    I have had the shittiest night, /tg/. I saw my exgirlfriend who I still love crawling all over another man, happy in his embrace, I am terrified over the starting semester.

    I laughed my ass off at this.
    >> Captain Rhodes 08/22/10(Sun)02:47 No.11775922



    >> That fucking Techpriest !G5SvoRhkI. 08/22/10(Sun)02:49 No.11775935

    Nah bro. The Mentor Legion be all about that science.
    >> Captain Rhodes 08/22/10(Sun)02:50 No.11775948
    I guess it'd be more 'applied science' we should be worried about.

    Because then that's making technology and that's legit heresy.
    >> That fucking Techpriest !G5SvoRhkI. 08/22/10(Sun)02:52 No.11775970

    Nope. Admech do it all the time. Again the Mentor Legion exists to test this new technology.

    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)02:54 No.11775993
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    I also.

    God DAMN /tg/ rocks of late!
    >> Captain Rhodes 08/22/10(Sun)02:55 No.11776008
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    I don't know about this I don't like this innovation thing at all.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)02:57 No.11776030
    Summer's ending.
    >> That fucking Techpriest !G5SvoRhkI. 08/22/10(Sun)03:03 No.11776114

    The Imperium is forever moving forward! Our progress is a bit...all over the place.

    Sometimes we genuinely come up with something new and other times we manage to reverse engineer something old.


    But all these times lead to new weapons, new wargear, new armour, new tools of war. They must be tested. The Guard have their testing regime but testing for Astartes?

    By the Omnissiah that's a tough one. You can't exactly drop off a crate of new toys at the Blood Angels fortress and say "HAVE FUN CHAPS!"
    And so the Mentor Legion was founded in the 26th founding. They are pretty much a test bed for all new technology that goes to the Astartes. New power armour mods, new weapons, new ammunition types, etc. They all go to the Mentors for testing.

    Of course they don't operate like the typical chapter. Instead they send out individual squads to join other Imperial forces for a while, like the Guard or even other Astartes. While there they test the new equipment, learn the tactics of their allies and even teach them some tactics if they can. Then they return to their fortress monastery where the things they have learnt join their library and we AdMech learn how good our new gear was.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:05 No.11776133
    Character evolution?

    In MY /tg/?

    Do want.

    inb4 Brother Flavius takes the teachings of Science! back to the Imperium and initiates a resurgence in a more secular view of the god-emperor.

    We really need a Mirror, Mirror crossover here though involving a prudish Alt-Slaanesh invading the mind of the foul xenos Troi while Alt-Khorne attempts to corrput Battle Brother Worf with the virtues of self control.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:07 No.11776162
    Mirror Mirror with Brighthammer, maybe.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:20 No.11776307
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    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:27 No.11776383
    Marcius Flavius had a sense of duty to rival any other space marine. A great warrior with a strong sense of honor who would never question an order, and always execute it with zeal. This was his toughest test yet.

    Four months ago a large batch of mnemonics reached the Enterprise, and since then Marcius would spend at least ten hours a day on indoctrination sessions and meditation.

    He was standing on the bridge in a Federation uniform as the acting Security Officer of the Enterprise. His muscles were bulging and veins were popping literally everywhere on his body. The elastic fabric gave up in a couple places. His left hand hand was holding the console.

    The console shattered - his fingers went right through it. There was a sizable stream of blood coming from his ear, his face was contorted in agony.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:28 No.11776394
    The seduction of Marcius Flavius by Science. Part One.

    As he heard the door to his office *shwish* open, Science Officer Swenson tensed.

    "Magos Swenson! I beg your indulgence and in the name of the Emperor, the Federation and Brother-Captain Picard I beseech you to reveal the mysteries of Science so that I might better destroy the enemies of Mankind," Commander Marcius Flavius boomed.

    "Flavius," Swenson said. "For the third time I am not a Magos. I am a Commander. Nor have I ever been a Tech-Priest like Commander LaForge. He is head of Engineering, which while related to science is not part of the Science Department. And science is... well it involves mysteries but it is not mysterious. Come in."

    Flavius entered, perching his oversized armor on one of the two spindly chairs before Swenson's desk. Being the third time he had done so he no longer proclaimed it a miracle when it did not collapse under his weight.

    "Brother Flavius and I address you as such because I know what that means and I want to emphasize I am not a Magos," Swenson said. "I don't know what you are doing on the bridge but command is eating it up. I might even get a positive enough review that I can get off this boat and a research posting, so let's continue where we left off yesterday."
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:30 No.11776407
    needs blood pouring from his nose too, to show anyeurism from saying "stun"
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:30 No.11776408
    The seduction of Marcius Flavius by Science. Part Two.

    "I am an empty vessel Magos! Fill me with your wisdom!" Flavius said.

    "No, because you expressed doubt about heresy yesterday," Swenson said. "What is heresy?"

    "Heresy is turning from the Path of the Emperor!" Flavius shouted. It was deafening in the office and those passing through the science deck paused at the unnatural noise vibrating through the hallway.

    "Yes, and we mentioned the volume thing," Swenson said making a mental note to check with Dr. Crusher for hearing loss. "Now in science we seek information so that we may find truth. Laws technically, but I'm not going to get into that, so truth. Can one turn from the Path of the Emperor and still follow truth?"

    Flavius stood shock still while Swenson waited. And waited. Minutes passed.

    "No," Flavius spoke, his voice for once no longer at deafening volume. "It is a question worthy of a Magos. There is no truth without the Emperor. There are only lies. Cunning lies. Subtle lies. Tempting lies. But they are all lies and they lead to heresy. There can be no heresy in truth."

    "Congratulations Commander Flavius, you begin to understand science," Swenson said. "Hypothesis, experiment, peer review, skepticism. These are the tools we use to separate truth from heresy, or as we in the Federation call it... well we call it a lot of things so heresy works. Now, let's do some basic logic exercises with Newtonian physics."
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:32 No.11776427
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    >this thread

    Please continue.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:33 No.11776431
    >"I don't know what you are doing on the bridge but command is eating it up. I might even get a positive enough review that I can get off this boat
    The biggest, most prestigious flagship of the entire Federation isn't big enough for this Swenson guy? Jesus.

    Also, I'll be damned, there WAS a Science Officer Swenson. He was entered into the ship's martial arts tournament.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:38 No.11776452
    Considering some of the insane shit that ship goes through, I'd probably prefer work on a station too.

    I mean, Picard activates that self-destruct sequence like it's going out of style. Prestige or not, I wouldn't want a job where the boss tries to blow up the office every other week.
    >> That fucking Techpriest !G5SvoRhkI. 08/22/10(Sun)03:38 No.11776456

    Oh by the Omnissiah.


    This is now how my new techpriest in DH sees things. Cept replace Emprah with Omnissiah
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:40 No.11776478
    >Riker had taken to the role of regimental commissar rather disturbingly well, Picard was somehow sure getting Riker to give up the gold encrusted hat jacked and pistol when he got back
    I'd like to cast Drawfags
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:41 No.11776483
    just make sure that his beard is swaying gently in the wind
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:45 No.11776512
    This shit is priceless, I love you guys.

    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:46 No.11776519
    >There is no truth without the Emperor. There are only lies. Cunning lies. Subtle lies. Tempting lies. But they are all lies and they lead to heresy. There can be no heresy in truth.
    that's a really good line
    >> Synbios !!wutpLZkcFng 08/22/10(Sun)03:51 No.11776556
    I loved the response to that too.
    >"Congratulations Commander Flavius, you begin to understand science," Swenson said. "Hypothesis, experiment, peer review, skepticism. These are the tools we use to separate truth from heresy, or as we in the Federation call it... well we call it a lot of things so heresy works. Now, let's do some basic logic exercises with Newtonian physics."
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)03:56 No.11776591
    Yeah, I did some googling and the bridge crew are such pussies that they would never smack Flavius into line. La Federacion rips shit up and doesn't afraid of anything. I thought that needed to be brought up in the always entertaining officer-exchange threads.

    <And when was the last time anyone got a Captcha in English? It was eerie how often they were thread related, but now it is just gibberish.>
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)04:00 No.11776621
    I think after the last Spambot breakthrough, they overhauled it. Our little proto-SKYNET is no longer sentient - Got lobotomized.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)04:14 No.11776746
    I need to go to bed. One last bump for Brother Flavius but I expect to have to read up on the 1d4chan page.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)04:31 No.11776897
    My writefaggotry seems to have been well received so here's another effort.

    "Magos Swenson," Commander Marcius Flavius intoned. "I understand your Federation Science."

    Science Officer Swenson turned from the screen where he had been explaining Mendelian inheritance to look at the armor-clad Space Marine, an exchange officer from the Imperium to Starfleet.

    "Brother Flavius, you have made great progress during these sessions," Swenson said "But as I explained to you earlier, science is not a thing you master, it is a tool used to understand the universe."

    There was a pause and then Flavius, his voice slightly softer in this room after frequent admonitions, continued.

    "I apologize Magos. Though you tell me differently I know that I will never comprehend more than the merest fraction of your wisdom," Flavius said. "I only tell you that at last I believe I understand the methods of the Federation Science."

    Swenson hesitated, despite the all-consuming powered armor of his pupil he was almost sure that he was picking up an emotion. A quivering eagerness?

    "Explain," Swenson asked.

    "Tactics Magos!" Flavius boomed, his volume rising with his posture as he stood up. "Strategy!"

    "One observes the disposition of enemy forces and in so doing you learn the mind of their commander," Flavius boomed. "The despicable Eldar flee from strength and seek weakness! So to does matter expand when heated and contract when cooled! The Federation Science is combat on a scale grander than anything I ever understood before. You seek to understand how the universe itself opposes you and therefore defeat it!"

    "Uhhhh, yeah that is one way of putting it," Swenson ventured.

    "THANK YOU MAGOS!" Flavius boomed, his voice reverberating on nearby decks, drawing puzzled glances from passing crewmembers. "YOUR GIFT OF SCIENCE WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN! AND WITH IT THE SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR WILL DEFEAT NOT ONLY OUR ENEMIES BUT THE UNIVERSE ITSELF!"
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)04:41 No.11776980
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    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)04:41 No.11776983
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    >"THANK YOU MAGOS!" Flavius boomed, his voice reverberating on nearby decks, drawing puzzled glances from passing crewmembers. "YOUR GIFT OF SCIENCE WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN! AND WITH IT THE SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR WILL DEFEAT NOT ONLY OUR ENEMIES BUT THE UNIVERSE ITSELF!"

    AHHH YEAH!!!
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)04:43 No.11777001

    Dun Dun Daaaaaaaaa-----
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)04:43 No.11777013
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    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)04:49 No.11777058
    Damn, a pity the archive is down.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)04:57 No.11777114
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    These are amazin'
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)05:15 No.11777204
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    >"THANK YOU MAGOS!" Flavius boomed, his voice reverberating on nearby decks, drawing puzzled glances from passing crewmembers. "YOUR GIFT OF SCIENCE WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN! AND WITH IT THE SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR WILL DEFEAT NOT ONLY OUR ENEMIES BUT THE UNIVERSE ITSELF!"

    If only games workshop would advance the plot and instigate this as the driving force, WH40k could be saved. And be AWESOME.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)05:30 No.11777301
    Hey, let's not forget Riker wearing Sister of Battle powered-armor with tits. That was pretty awesome writefaggotry as well.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)06:39 No.11777789
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    More awesome crossover fic please?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)08:53 No.11778563
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    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)09:57 No.11778890
    Fast forward 5 years, Brother Flavius is back with the Imperial Fists...

    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)11:16 No.11779348
    I await the OP's further writefaggotry with baited breath, but this entire thread has been made of awesome.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)11:28 No.11779426
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    >> Weltall !!WVSpnFdr58V 08/22/10(Sun)11:46 No.11779550

    That... would actually be fucking awesome.

    I mean, not particularly GrimDark - but the progression of and fight against basically every major human organisation would be.

    It was easy to rebuild the Empire from a wasteland, especially with the Emporer at the helm. Rebuilding an Empire while it's still in its death throes would be a lot nastier.

    Hell if you really wanted you could make the metaplot progression echo the events of the last thousand years.
    >> Weltall !!WVSpnFdr58V 08/22/10(Sun)11:47 No.11779560


    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)11:53 No.11779598
    I love /tg/
    >> Air Action Weekly 08/22/10(Sun)11:57 No.11779629

    Don't worry, you were just using your mahreen voice.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)12:17 No.11779764
    >"You summoned me Brother-Captain?". Picard took several deep breaths and said "Enter".



    Picard always says "come." No more, no less.

    Having him say 'enter' is like having him order ice tea.

    7 seasons and 178 episodes of canon, not to mention the movies, cannot be so easily dismissed.

    Apart from that, though, very good. Most entertaining.
    >> Captain Rhodes 08/22/10(Sun)12:18 No.11779772
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    "No," Flavius spoke, his voice for once no longer at deafening volume. "It is a question worthy of a Magos. There is no truth without the Emperor. There are only lies. Cunning lies. Subtle lies. Tempting lies. But they are all lies and they lead to heresy. There can be no heresy in truth."

    "Congratulations Commander Flavius, you begin to understand science," Swenson said. "Hypothesis, experiment, peer review, skepticism. These are the tools we use to separate truth from heresy, or as we in the Federation call it... well we call it a lot of things so heresy works. Now, let's do some basic logic exercises with Newtonian physics."

    >"THANK YOU MAGOS!" Flavius boomed, his voice reverberating on nearby decks, drawing puzzled glances from passing crewmembers. "YOUR GIFT OF SCIENCE WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN! AND WITH IT THE SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR WILL DEFEAT NOT ONLY OUR ENEMIES BUT THE UNIVERSE ITSELF!"

    Brother Marcus Flavius for best marine
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)13:11 No.11780174
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)13:42 No.11780473
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)13:46 No.11780497
    >>the science of detecting heresy.
    Okay, that's kind of cool.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)14:16 No.11780820
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    I hate star trek and only kind of like 40k....

    .... but these make me cry with laughter.

    Why doesn't a writefag do a long one of these, instead of this crap I keep seeing about monster-girls?

    Please continue!
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)17:48 No.11783467
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    Cause I'm sick of seeing an unfinished drawing of mine pop up all the time...
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)17:50 No.11783506
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    Meanwhile Tony was seducing people left and right at the table.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)18:33 No.11783962

    I love you, random drawfag I will never meet.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)18:38 No.11784023
    I approve.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)18:50 No.11784134
    See, the only problem with Marcius Flavius is that we don't have a Space Wolf or something instead.

    And seriously, the Imperial Fists, of all possible choices? I get not wanting to use the Ultramarines, but the Imperial Fucking Fists? Do they even do anything at all?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)18:52 No.11784159
    The Fists are a crusade chapter. They do stuff all the time. Just because they're codex doesn't mean shit.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)18:53 No.11784163
    Yeah, Imperial Fists seems like a weird choice.

    But, overall, I'm not complaining.

    Space Wolf would be a bit too jolly about it, I think.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)18:53 No.11784174
    Homeworld is Terra, Chapter Master is thus Planetary Governor of Terra and noted as one of the best living tacticians in the Imperium. May or may not dual wield Thunder Hammers (depends if the illustration is Vladimir Pugh or not). Fairly badass all-rounders who embody Imperial virtue and are competent at pretty much everything. Also their battle barge is the size of a moon.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)18:54 No.11784184
    They're zealous enough to be funny while still semi-reasonable enough to not purge the Enterprise after two minutes on board.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)18:56 No.11784197
    Also the Pain Glove.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)18:56 No.11784205
    > but the Imperial Fucking Fists? Do they even do anything at all?
    fucking newfags.
    God fucking dammit I hate you.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:00 No.11784241
    The Fists were chosen mostly because they're who the High Lords of Terra would choose.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:14 No.11784391
    >defended Terra during Black Crusades
    >Black Crusades that never get past Cadia

    So they sit on their chairs and watch monitors? Impressive.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:17 No.11784432
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    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:17 No.11784435
    Rogal Dorn designed the fortress of the Imperial Palace, then reinforced it against Horus' legions during the Heresy so it held. Horus himself stated that if his legion were to engage a fortress held by the Imperial Fists, the result would be a neverending stalemate. Dorn was the one who found the Emperor, and took instructions on how to build the Golden Throne. As a legion, they founded the Crimson Fists and Black Templars, forced the Iron Warriors to retreat to the warp and continue to be a crusading chapter to this day, taking advantage of the many, many worlds that owe them tithe (including Necromunda) and their moon-sized fortress monastery to operate almost anywhere in the Imperium.
    >> That fucking Techpriest !G5SvoRhkI. 08/22/10(Sun)19:19 No.11784453

    The Fists specialise in defensive and siege warfare.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:20 No.11784464
    >forced the Iron Warriors to retreat to the warp

    You mean Dorn almost wiped out the chapter through dumbassery and got his ass pulled out of the fire by the smurfs.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:23 No.11784493
    That's the Chaos version. The Imperial version is they were winning. What actually happened supposedly is a mutually assured destruction situation, which the intervention of the Ultramarines prevented.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:24 No.11784501
    That was the Horus Heresy, not the Black Crusades.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:26 No.11784525
    Do you think that that's why I might have said Horus Heresy? I'm confirming what the Fists have done, not substantiating someone else's mistake.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:28 No.11784546
    I thought you were the same person. My bad.

    That's the peril of an anonymous imageboard.
    >> Rogal Dorn 08/22/10(Sun)19:29 No.11784557
    Fuck, I did way more shit than rowboat girlyman. Fuck even when he didn't back down like a retarded little brother I finally said "Fine, I'll be in your little tea party" just to shut his cunt face up. And then I took my legions back to terra, had the one's that didn't want to go and be black Templars and crimson fists and the rest of us decided to be better than the ultramarines at their own damn book.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:31 No.11784573
    40K newb here, let me make sure I understand:
    Ultramarines: Generic space marines
    Imperial Fists: Defense specialists
    White Scars: Space Mongolians
    Space Wolves: Space Vikings
    Blood Angels: Raging vampiric bishies
    Dark Angels: WE MUST ATONE
    Iron Hands: Let's replace our fleshy bits with metal bits
    Raven Guard: ??
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:33 No.11784599
    Raven Guard = commandos
    Salamanders = FORGES AND FIRE
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:34 No.11784610
    So salamanders are dwarves?

    Maybe the reason squats aren't mentioned any more is because the salamanders are
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:36 No.11784633
    Ultramarines: Generic, pretend to be the best
    Imperial Fists: Defendan, Siegan
    Salamanders: FIRE AND METAL, also absolute bros
    Space Wolves: Charging, Wolfing, Viking for the Emprah!
    Blood Angels: Vampiran', Chargan', Flyan' For the Emprah!
    Dark Angels: Atoning, Terminating, Robemonks
    White Scars: Mongolian quick raiders
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:36 No.11784638
    >>Salamanders = FORGES AND FIRE
    That are also black.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:42 No.11784697
    See, I love Raven Guard.

    'Cause ravens are cool. (Fuck you, I like Pacific-Coast First Nations cultures that treat them as trickster-creators, it's a cool bit of mythology)

    But they seem to pretty much be like the White Scars, but with flawed gene-seed.

    Isn't there anything more to distinguish them?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:43 No.11784720
    >Isn't there anything more to distinguish them?
    Very cliched literary references.
    >> That fucking Techpriest !G5SvoRhkI. 08/22/10(Sun)19:44 No.11784724

    They're more "WOO JUMP PACKS!" than "HURRAH MOTORBIKES!"
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:44 No.11784728
    Stealth specialists and love them some jump packs and lightning claws. Emo tendencies.

    So, uh, loyalist Night Lords.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:46 No.11784740
    Wait, my bad, forgot that they wear beakies helmets.

    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:55 No.11784822
    Also Salamanders are nice to people.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)19:58 No.11784855

    And if you fight well they'll have a company or two to stick around for a while to help rebuild.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)21:20 No.11785533
    Wait, don't the Primarches not have mothers, but are all the Emperor's sons? Then how is one black, one Asian, and the others white?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)21:55 No.11786020
    Salamanders are void black, not brown. Its some weird reaction with their genesead and the atmosphere of their home planet. Also space marines (other than the salamanders for the reason stated above) can change the color of their skin, so they can be whatever they want.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)21:58 No.11786055
    They are made from warp magic and SCIENCE to be the avatars of humanity.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)22:02 No.11786116
    Doubt it's geneseed, remember that SPESS MEHREENS can change their melatonin levels depending on radiation levels. Nocturne has very high radiation levels.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)22:13 No.11786250
    Salamanders are always void black. Other marines can change their skin color, Salys cannot. Its a flaw in their seed, I am told its a reaction with thier home planet (aka if a salamander was turnened into a space marine offworld they would have normal colored skin and would change to the black after returning to the homeworld). They have funky colored eyes too (ornge i think but i dont remember exactly).
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)22:17 No.11786298
    God dammit. I was so pissed that I said Black Crusades instead of Horus Heresy.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)22:51 No.11786690

    Pissed enough to join the Litany of Litany's Litany?
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)23:32 No.11787129
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    He's not swearing enough.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)23:51 No.11787337
    Swearing doesn't mean anger you braindead crosseyed poor excuse for a roid-raging paperweight.
    >> Anonymous 08/22/10(Sun)23:56 No.11787402


    That better?
    >> Anonymous 08/23/10(Mon)02:44 No.11789049
    Moar please.
    >> Anonymous 08/23/10(Mon)03:35 No.11789466
    >> Anonymous 08/23/10(Mon)03:42 No.11789505
    They have black skin and red eyes.
    Very grim.

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