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  • File : 1283657853.jpg-(15 KB, 259x194, bikers..jpg)
    15 KB Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:37 No.11956946  
    Let me tell you story /tg/, about the time I DMed a game of Dungeons and Dragons for an actual biker gang.

    Through mutual acquaintances, I knew a guy who I worked with doing construction work one summer who expressed some interest when he saw a 3.5 PHB in my car. "You play Dungeons and Dragons? That's for nerds, right?" At the time, I wasn't exactly a stereotypical nerd, more a stereotypical construction worker with trimmed beard, a hard hat, and a pack of Camels rolled up in my shirt sleeve. The conversation progressed, and I explained to him how much fun we had killing monsters and completing epic quests, etc.

    A few days later, he told me to stop by the "clubhouse" which was basically a top story over a dive bar way up north. I did, and it was slightly better than the clubhouse in GTA: Lost and the Damned, but not by much. There were four guys there, I think the gang was called the Gladiators or something. They all looked like exactly what you would expect. Bald heads, goatees, wrap around sunglasses, long fu manchu beards. I explained the game, and I had to admit, I was out of my element. I mean, I'm pretty blue collar, but biker gangs were a little further down on the white people scale from where I was at.

    But I said what the hell, and broke out my DM screen and my dice bag, gave everybody some dice and spent the next hour helping probable felons roll up characters.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 09/04/10(Sat)23:38 No.11956951
    And then you were raped.

    >lesteloc San
    >> Heretek Dan 09/04/10(Sat)23:38 No.11956958
    I am listening.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:39 No.11956966
    please, go on
    >> Lord Highlander !Jn4nSo5Ty6 09/04/10(Sat)23:39 No.11956968
    lets hear more.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:39 No.11956971
    >and spent the next hour helping probable felons roll up characters.

    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:40 No.11956975
    This thread has my immediate interest. Please, continue.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:41 No.11956979
    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:41 No.11956980
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    >> Lord Highlander !Jn4nSo5Ty6 09/04/10(Sat)23:41 No.11956987
    Deliver OP!
    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:41 No.11956991
    It's nearly 6am and I'm only staying up because of this thread... so please, do continue.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:43 No.11957009
    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:44 No.11957012
    I do believe you may have just been trolled 9/10
    >> The Pole 09/04/10(Sat)23:44 No.11957014
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    I smell an awesome thread a brewin
    >> monotreeme 09/04/10(Sat)23:44 No.11957015
    rolled 30 = 30


    bonus points if one of them gets a D20 tattoo.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:45 No.11957022
    >> Date Masamune !!cFy/3tyUu80 09/04/10(Sat)23:46 No.11957030
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    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:48 No.11957054
    Please, please, please?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:49 No.11957064
    If OP doesnt post any more this will be the best all time troll.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:50 No.11957075
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    >> monotreeme 09/04/10(Sat)23:51 No.11957077
    rolled 72 = 72

    what kind of characters did they roll up?

    I wish to see into their minds
    >> Lord Highlander !Jn4nSo5Ty6 09/04/10(Sat)23:51 No.11957091
    maybe fighters all?
    Or Paladins?

    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:51 No.11957092
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    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:52 No.11957095

    The first guy, "Tiny" who was of course 300 pounds over weight, was leaning towards a dwarf. He looked like a dwarf appropriately enough, so we moved on to class. He liked the fighter class, so it was pretty easy to help him roll up a dwarf fighter.

    The other guys were pretty easy as well. Roy, a long-haired skinny guy with dark eye sockets, had actually read the Hobbit as a kid, and wanted to play a wizard. OK, human wizard.

    James (not Jim, or Jimmy, FUCKING JAMES) didn't really have a clue, so I had to prompt him a bit. "Do you want a fighter, a thief who picks pockets and stabs people from behind, or a guy who cast spells?"

    The thief line, which wasn't meant to be funny, got a laugh from all the guys sitting around the table. Rich is the thief! - said Roy, to which Rich, a shifty looking guy with greasy slicked back hair and a black goatee shot a glance at Roy that could wither plants. "Well, I said, it's a rogue - they don't really follow laws per se, and they have high dexterity which means they're good at quickly stabbing with a short sword or dagger."

    Rich brightened up, "good with knives? I'll play that guy" I asked if he wanted to play a halfling rogue for the dex bonus and he surprisingly said that was fine, after some prompting from Roy, who told him all about the Hobbit, and how they weren't shrimps, just small people, which segued into a conversation about little people. Half an hour later, we were back on track.

    James said, "I'll play a rogue too." And I didn't want to argue, so we had two rogues in the party.
    That left my construction worker buddy, who I had already gone over party composition with, and had agreed to be the healer.

    So we started the game.
    >> Anomynous 09/04/10(Sat)23:52 No.11957099
    >the best all time troll.
    Surely that's just a bit hyperbolic.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 09/04/10(Sat)23:52 No.11957104
    Did you know, that taken by itself, OP's post is a complete story? Maybe that's all he wanted to say.

    >Im- sonsiduz
    >> The Pole 09/04/10(Sat)23:52 No.11957106
    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:54 No.11957119
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    <This thread
    >> Date Masamune !!cFy/3tyUu80 09/04/10(Sat)23:55 No.11957128
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    Go on...
    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:56 No.11957143
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    >> Lord Highlander !Jn4nSo5Ty6 09/04/10(Sat)23:56 No.11957144
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    The goods part two were delivered!

    >> The Pole 09/04/10(Sat)23:56 No.11957152
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    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:57 No.11957167
    the huge lapse of time between posts would suggest this is OC, and he's writing it all right now
    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:58 No.11957176
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    I'd demand you to type faster, but I'm sure the captcha is being a pain as well.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/10(Sat)23:59 No.11957182
    I slowly stroking to potential epic.

    Don't let me down OP. It's been so long.
    >> Lord Highlander !Jn4nSo5Ty6 09/04/10(Sat)23:59 No.11957185
    who cares? That means its orginal.
    Will f5 until full story is written.
    >> The Pole 09/04/10(Sat)23:59 No.11957189
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    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:01 No.11957206
    That kitchen is SPOTLESS
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:01 No.11957210
    >implying he said it was a bad thing
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:01 No.11957212
    That corner anyway...
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:02 No.11957215
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:03 No.11957227
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    >> The Pole 09/05/10(Sun)00:03 No.11957228
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    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:04 No.11957244
    did you know you can type the captcha wrong and it will still let you go by as long as it's vaguely similar.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:05 No.11957247

    I'd run encounters before for first time players, but I wasn't what you would call the best DM in terms of knowing every single nuance of the rules. (Since that time, I've gotten pretty good, but still improving.)

    For the sake of keeping everybody interested in a hobby I really liked, I put an emphasis on a smooth game where everybody in the party was going to win big and get some good loot. Besides, if I DMed like a dick, the best thing that would happen is I'd be thrown out on my ass, the worst....well, I didn't want to think about it.

    I had a standard adventure for first level that was a typical "save the farmer's daughter who has been kidnapped by appropriate low level creatures"

    So after a little introduction and setting up the plot, the characters all met in a tavern. "Feel free to role play your character according to the alignment and background you think they should have"

    Was does a dwarf sound like? Tiny asked. I couldn't say "Exactly like you" so I said, "Gruff, tough-ass kind of dude. Doesn't take any shit" Tiny laughed with this awesome hearty laugh I'll never forget, and then actually made his already perfect natural voice for a dwarf even dwarfier.

    OK, everything going smoothly. James asked if there were any bar maids in the tavern. "Sure, I said, tow or three, average looks, nothing special" "Can I hit on them?"

    Fuck. Already I had a guy who was going to dick around, literally. "Roll a....diplomacy check I guess"
    He rolled, failed. "She turns around and slaps you in the face"

    James looked kind of pissed, but then he laughed, just like Tiny did. "This is gonna bu fun?" he said as he uncomfortably slapped my back just a little to hard. "Can I pick a fight with Rich?"

    "Yes," I said, but wouldn't you rather go rescue the farmer's daughter? She's very attractive...and young."

    "Sound good, let's go."

    OK first derailment averted. They continued on to the farmer's house.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:05 No.11957250
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    I'm about to start playing a game with a biker friend. It's already awesome, now hoping for useful!

    Pic unrelated
    >> The Pole 09/05/10(Sun)00:08 No.11957290
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    oh yeah i can see lots of opportunity for derailment in this group
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:08 No.11957291
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    I have applied the hypoallergenic lotion. Continue your tale...
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:09 No.11957304
    im going too miss the rest of this, could someone please re post it tomorrow night?
    >> Lord Highlander !Jn4nSo5Ty6 09/05/10(Sun)00:11 No.11957317
    just check the archives later.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:11 No.11957321
    will do captain, from how many hrs are you gonna be on?
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:11 No.11957326
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    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:11 No.11957328
    they always get reposted the next night. in the rare event that they don't you can probably request it
    >> Glutton 09/05/10(Sun)00:13 No.11957343
    inb4 Ends with rape
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:13 No.11957348
    Oh man, if this has a Good End I am going to be fucking amazed.
    >> The Pole 09/05/10(Sun)00:14 No.11957355
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    prolly farmers daughter rape
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:15 No.11957363

    Now, I was playing the NPC farmer perfectly. He was a bit intimidated by the burly group of adventurers that just showed up to rescue his daughter from a band of kobolds who had holed up in the rocky hills to the northwest. I'll admit, I was projecting, but it was dam convincing, because the biker guys were eating it up.

    I know now that bikers have kind of a sense of community justice. They hate the cops, but if somebody pulls some shit on somebody they know, they take it into their own hands to teach the guy a lesson. Well, these bikers were those kind of guys. They'd probably wind up attacking the town guards if we hung around too long, so with the promise of the farmer to pay them each 25 gp if they brought his only daughter back to him unharmed we headed out.

    Let me back up a bit about the community justice thing. James was the de facto leader of the group, he probably ranked highest in the gang outside of the game I guess.

    "You talked to the guards, they didn't do nothing?"

    The farmer said they told him they were busy defending the town from orc attacks from the south.

    "Then we'll find your girl - don't worry about the money - but you owe us a favor....don't forget"

    This was turning into...one of the best fucking role-playing games I'd ever been involved in...

    (continued next post, typing as fast as I can)
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:17 No.11957385
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    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:17 No.11957386
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    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:17 No.11957388
    OP, in return for the epic story you are delivering us, I award you 5 internets.
    >> The Pole 09/05/10(Sun)00:17 No.11957389
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    confirmation for epic thread?
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:17 No.11957394
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:19 No.11957414
    >but you owe us a favor....don't forget"

    INB4 They make the mafia ingame.

    Very good read, hope you didn't get shanked or raped etc.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:22 No.11957443
    Oh fuck this is awesome.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:23 No.11957447
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:23 No.11957448
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    Doing my civil duty by bumping this thread.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:23 No.11957449
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    Here OP, have a little something to keep you going.
    >> The Pole 09/05/10(Sun)00:24 No.11957459
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    >> Lord Highlander !Jn4nSo5Ty6 09/05/10(Sun)00:25 No.11957473
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    motion seconded.
    >> Tunderchief 09/05/10(Sun)00:26 No.11957497
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    The crazy fucking thing about this whole story is the fact that OP had possibly the most realistic roleplaying group imaginable.

    Whether or not they're familiar with backstories and cultural details/fluff, these kinds of men are infinitely closer to their characters than the vast majority of us.

    They live decentralized, wandering lives fraught with potential danger in real life, so their normal points of view are perfect for an adventuring party. Well, shit, biker gangs are, in ways, adventuring parties of their own.

    I envy the experience that you've had, OP, and eagerly await the rest of this tale.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:27 No.11957516
    bumpity bump bump
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:28 No.11957527
    Bump motherfucker!
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:29 No.11957533
    Balls I'm slow, I didn't realize this until you posted it
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:29 No.11957543
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    >> The Pole 09/05/10(Sun)00:29 No.11957544
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    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:30 No.11957548
    OP, this is shaping up to be one of the best threads I've seen in a while. Kudos, sir.
    >> GM Kaede 09/05/10(Sun)00:30 No.11957551
    I am enjoying this VERY MUCH.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:31 No.11957561

    They reached the entrance of the cave where the Kobolds had taken the farmer's daughter where there were two sentries. Roy piped up with "What's a kobold?"

    "It's like a cross between a lizard and a dog I guess."

    "That's fucking weird man"

    "Yeah, I guess it is. They're nastly little dog-iguana men, and they've seen you approaching."

    James: "Where is she? I'll gut you fuckers"

    "They don't understand you, they speak in a series of yips and barks"

    Roy: "That's fucking weird man."

    Rich: "I stab that dogman right in the face"

    Me: "hold on Rich, you have to roll for initiative"

    Tiny: "Let me at them. I'm drunk and mad!"

    These guys obviously weren't going to go for the sneak around approach I'd written in for rogues, so we did our first combat, five guys vs. a coupel Koblold sentries.

    Now Kobolds can be tough en masse for a first level party, but you wouldn't have known it from the way these guys rolled. 3 out of five had critical hits, and the combat was over pretty quickly.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:31 No.11957566
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    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:33 No.11957590
    >Tiny: "Let me at them. I'm drunk and mad!"

    lmfao. This man is a dwarf IRL.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:35 No.11957615
    I am now renaming my axelord in dorf fort "Tiny"
    >> Captain Rhodes 09/05/10(Sun)00:36 No.11957624
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    >Rich: "I stab that dogman right in the face"
    >Tiny: "Let me at them. I'm drunk and mad!"

    This is fucking magical.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:36 No.11957631
    >description of kobolds
    >that's fucking weird man

    Haha, that's adorable in a manly way
    >> The Pole 09/05/10(Sun)00:38 No.11957653
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    ok we need some damn dwarfs in this thread
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:38 No.11957665
    This is a pretty good story so far. I always like playing RPGs with non-rpg guys because they have a certain innocence that makes the game what it should be.

    Please continue, OP!
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:39 No.11957672
    OP's writing style is suspiciously similar to that LARP shenanigans writefag.

    Whatever, I enjoy your fictionalized exploits.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:40 No.11957673
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    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:40 No.11957682
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    >James: "Where is she? I'll gut you fuckers"
    >Tiny: "Let me at them. I'm drunk and mad!"
    Oh shit, dwarves crossed with Angry Marines.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:41 No.11957693
    If dwarves are mad like that, then Angry Marines ARE dwarves
    >> The Pole 09/05/10(Sun)00:41 No.11957695
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    >> Lord Highlander !Jn4nSo5Ty6 09/05/10(Sun)00:42 No.11957697
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    angry... dwarves...

    pic may be related.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:42 No.11957700
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    <--This thread is as awesome as this
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:43 No.11957705
    By Zim, I see.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:43 No.11957706
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:44 No.11957721
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    >> Kaiten, Fist of the High Forest 09/05/10(Sun)00:45 No.11957732


    I come home from a ruined no-D&D night to find this thread sitting on the front page. FUCK YES!

    This night isn't turning out as badly as I thought.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:45 No.11957736

    Feeling confident that these guys were kind of digging the game, I decided against using the scaled down Kobolds for the rest of the adventure. After all, these guys seemed like naturals. They even were grasping the "double backstab" concept without any prompting from me. I gave the cleric a mace shaped like a tire iron, roughly sketched it out for him.

    However, the first combat was hardly indicative of what was to come.

    I'm not a "killer DM" I hate having players face stuff that's way beyond them, or lording the DM thing over them, so I try to keep it pretty skewed in the player's favor. I'll fudge the rolls from time to time even.

    Which is what I wound up having to do when Tiny charged into the Kobold lair where no less than 15 Kobold warriors and a Kobold tribal King were waiting with weapons drawn.

    It was ugly. Tiny went down to 0 HP in a big hurry, and Roy couldn't hit for shit, except with magic missile, which was just pissing the Kobolds off.

    James looked pissed. Only this time, he didn't burst into laughter. "What kind of shit is this." he stated rather bluntly, when I informed him that he has just taken massive damage.

    Rich, however, was hanging back, and generally sneaking around and doing an admirable job of picking of the Kobold warriors one by one.

    The Kobold King was a paragon of Kobold Kings. Dished out damage right and left, mostly against James and the cleric.

    Well after and hour and a half of brutal combat, we were left with James and Tiny at 0 HP, the cleric had exhausted healing spells, and Rich had taken a couple points of damage.

    "What the fuck Rich, you let your brothers down."
    "Wasn't my fault you dumb motherfuckers can't kill dogmen"
    "Well maybe you shoudl have been watching our backs intead of hiding in the shadows, you fucking coward."

    This was getting heated, and I didn't want to have to witness some internecine viloence.

    "Guys....you still need to find the farmer's daughter"
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:46 No.11957742

    I suspect that you guys haven't seen a lot of Dwarfs.

    ...There is nothing BUT angry Dwarfs. A calm Dwarf is a dead dwarf. Or he isn't dwarfy enough.
    >> MR. RAGE !D9l9S8Lio6 09/05/10(Sun)00:47 No.11957756
    >I gave the cleric a mace shaped like a tire iron

    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:49 No.11957770

    Getting bad, bros.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:49 No.11957780
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    we need a drawfag now!
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:50 No.11957786
    A calm dwarf is a gnome.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:50 No.11957788
    Fudging the rolls so you don't have to watch someone get murdered. Awesome.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:50 No.11957790
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    >> The Pole 09/05/10(Sun)00:52 No.11957805
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    I hate dogmen!
    >> Kaiten, Fist of the High Forest 09/05/10(Sun)00:55 No.11957840
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    So... Angry Squats?

    ...Oh GOD...

    >>prevent herrit

    I agree captcha.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:56 No.11957847
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    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:57 No.11957859
    Damnit OP, I was JUST getting to sleep.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:57 No.11957860

    Not him, but that was the first time I've ever been intrigued by larping in any capacity. The sequel was terrible.

    Anyways, continuing.


    At this point I didn't want to see Rich and James, who obviously had some kind of ongoing beef between them get into a fist fight over fictional character's actions in my fictional game. IRL violence really is kind of terrifying for those who have witnessed it, and I didn't want to that day. What could I distract them with?

    Oh yeah. Tits.

    In lurid and excrucitiang detail, I described the farmer's daughter, from her torn bodice, her moistened EYES (not thighs, although...) her ample C cup breasts, her beauty mark mole on her right cheek, and her cascading brunette locks. I explained how she was barefoot, and crying, and was overjoyed when Rich picked the rusty lock on the cage to free her. Wisely, I had her embrace JAMES, since Rich had his shining moment backstabbing the Kobolds.

    Penthouse Forum didn't have shit on me that night.

    Now, the only thing weirder than fa/tg/uy fetishes in games, is when you've managed to arouse a group of men who you REALLY, REALLY wish you hadn't. These guys were the epitome of outlaw manliness, and here I was, some kid with a bag of books and dice, describing the most beautiful biker babe who ever existed, to a group of guys who later on...well, we'll get to that.

    Abruptly changing the subject, I skipped ahead to the loot.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:58 No.11957871
    Please tell me this is being archived.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)00:59 No.11957876
    Holy shit OP.

    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:00 No.11957891
    inb4 OP is actually raped.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:00 No.11957894
    I made the first request, it is up for the rest of you to do the rest.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:00 No.11957898
    >...describing the most beautiful biker babe who ever existed, to a group of guys who later on...well, we'll get to that.

    God fucking damn you, OP, you are not allowed to be this good at holding an audience's interest. For shame.
    Fucking F5 like the fist of the north star.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:01 No.11957901
    Someone get a screen shot.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:01 No.11957903


    Apologies, I fucked up the tags like a huge faggot.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:01 No.11957905
         File1283662883.jpg-(4 KB, 190x238, 1281323617871.jpg)
    4 KB
    >it was slightly better than the clubhouse in GTA: Lost and the Damned

    This leads me to believe you're full of shit.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:01 No.11957907
    This is the greatest thread I've seen on /tg/ for a while. Laughing my ass off.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:01 No.11957908
    >to a group of guys who later on...well, we'll get to that.

    I'm betting your body was ready.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:02 No.11957912
    It's kind of not similar at all
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:02 No.11957915

    Full of shit or not, this is OC being created. NOW BUMP MOAR
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:02 No.11957916
         File1283662949.jpg-(49 KB, 567x440, 1265777703139.jpg)
    49 KB
    >is when you've managed to arouse a group of men who you REALLY, REALLY wish you hadn't.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:02 No.11957919
    Seriously, where does this "your body is ready" shit come from?
    >> The Pole 09/05/10(Sun)01:03 No.11957923
         File1283662981.jpg-(10 KB, 126x126, 1276400497025s.jpg)
    10 KB
    Goddammit Iv got work in the morning! You bums best keep this thread alive/archive it/ post it tomorrow night
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:03 No.11957928
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:04 No.11957934
    Short answer: /v/
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:05 No.11957943
    prepare your anus
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:05 No.11957945
    e3 of '09 where Reggie of Nintendo America was about to demonstrate a Wii game, he said, "My body is ready."
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:05 No.11957946

    Long answer?
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:05 No.11957949
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:05 No.11957950
    Let's say that I were to ask for the long answer?
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:05 No.11957953
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:05 No.11957957
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:06 No.11957958
         File1283663163.jpg-(223 KB, 1920x1200, 1282998442237.jpg)
    223 KB

    >> Lord Highlander !Jn4nSo5Ty6 09/05/10(Sun)01:07 No.11957966
         File1283663238.jpg-(143 KB, 458x458, 1277527119177.jpg)
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    >> Post-New Age !4zDAAqk0r6 09/05/10(Sun)01:07 No.11957968
    fucking vote this shit up
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:07 No.11957970
         File1283663253.png-(259 KB, 463x462, 83735874.png)
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    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:08 No.11957981
    Oh fuck, this is one of the best threads I've ever seen on 4chan. OP is made of win and magical unicorn magic.
    >> Lord Highlander !Jn4nSo5Ty6 09/05/10(Sun)01:10 No.11957998
    and this is during summer too!
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:10 No.11958003

    Its a good story, bros, but it isn't magical cocaine. Chill out.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:11 No.11958008
    The Grim Riders are an MC that Larps as the nation of Grimloch in New England.
    >> Post-New Age !4zDAAqk0r6 09/05/10(Sun)01:12 No.11958021
    this is totally magical cocaine
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:12 No.11958029
    I'm enjoying it, but I've seen a lot of threads like this recently on /tg/. Not all of them started out like this one, but they were pretty good too.

    [spoiler]and they were all achived[/spoiler]
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:12 No.11958031

    I wasn't DMing in prison. Bikers have biker bitches, I really don't know why so many of you guys expect stories to end in anal rape.

    But this one actually does in fact.

    No. Not really.....FUCK stop sidetracking me.


    I was generous with the loot. These were some badass kobold bandits who had been looting suply wagons full of magical items to reinforce some fictional bullshit thing I made up.

    Tiny got a Stein of Everfill. And a Warlord Axe +1 or seomthing (he had bad dice, we put them in a beer mug and he drank them...this was much later)

    Rich got some gauntlets or something, and I told him in the bathroom that he found a bag of gems that the party didn't know about "You're alright man," he said, again with the uncomfortable back slap.

    James got a Cloak of Protection and a +1 dagger, and our cleric (who already had an awesome weapon) got some armor too.

    But the loot really wasn't the compelling part. I'm sure you all want to know what happened when they got back with the buxom farmer's daughter and how that whole thing went.

    (continuing, 2 more posts)
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:12 No.11958032

    Its summer. We're still bleeding off the excess skub.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:14 No.11958048
         File1283663692.jpg-(60 KB, 400x400, 1268876540218.jpg)
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    >> Lord Highlander !Jn4nSo5Ty6 09/05/10(Sun)01:15 No.11958052
    Sommer wird hoffentlich im nächsten Monat zu beenden und eine halbe ...
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:16 No.11958065
    Hey, fuck you buddy. Skub saved my life in the war!
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:16 No.11958072
    All stories end in anal rape. It's just that the storytellers aren't always aware of it.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:18 No.11958082
         File1283663884.jpg-(76 KB, 466x462, cocaine.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:20 No.11958100
    Finish your tale, OP, that I may sleep!
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:20 No.11958109
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:21 No.11958116
    My DnD guys are gonna be here soon. Stop messing u your captcha! Needs an ending!
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:21 No.11958119
    I know how this will end.

    It will end with the bikers carrying off the chick as the 'favour'.
    >> Post-New Age !4zDAAqk0r6 09/05/10(Sun)01:22 No.11958133
    and this is why you type these things out BEFORE you post them.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:23 No.11958145

    Well, it wasn't what I had totally expected. The farmer was nervously grateful, and I pictured him standing in the doorway with the pitchfork with her behind him with pouty lips or something.

    But James, true to his word, was a gentleman. "You need help in the future, you come to us. We killed all them dog men up there, but they were tough. You keep her safe, I'll send somebody up here if you have trouble again."

    That pretty much wrapped it up.

    Overall - it was one of the best RPing experiences I'd ever had. These guys had no preconceptions, and I had a good enough delivery and style to keep them engaged throughout. Honestly, if these guys hadn't run into some trouble with the law down the road, we probably would still get together.

    But that wasn't meant to be. Turns out about three weeks after our RP session and heavy drinking afterwards, James got booked on meth distribution charges, along with Tiny and Roy, and Rich went up for attempted murder. No, really. I changed the names obviously, but these were some bad criminal dudes they had been building a case on for about a year. I even had to talk to the cops briefly, since I worked with the cleric (never mentioned his name) and they were still looking for him last I heard about it.

    So there you go. Bikers are great fucking role players

    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:23 No.11958149

    Seconding this very true piece of advice.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:25 No.11958166
    God damn that's a hell of a story. Send them some D&D books in prison, they'll love it.
    >> An0nymous !gkWeiOwuW2 09/05/10(Sun)01:25 No.11958167
         File1283664340.gif-(208 KB, 250x219, applause.gif)
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    rolled 4498 = 4498

    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:26 No.11958170
    >> Sage Freke !.KM1k2xo9. 09/05/10(Sun)01:26 No.11958173
    Maybe they are the same prisoners who get their DND books taken away.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:26 No.11958175
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:26 No.11958177
    DnD in prisons? Shit, prison wouldn't be so bad. It's a great way to make friends (and enemies).
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:26 No.11958178

    BAD END.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:26 No.11958181
    This archived yet?
    Also, definitely send them a few D&D books in prison.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:26 No.11958184

    Aw. That's why I love bikies and criminals. Ironically, they're some of the only gentlemen left nowadays.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:26 No.11958185
    Curious, Op... What WERE their Alignments??
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:27 No.11958186
    As a member of a biker gang (No, not the hardcore criminal 1%er types, just a bunch of dudes), I find this story a laugh. Good job OP, you've got some balls in you.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:27 No.11958188
    Isnt dnD banned in prisons
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:27 No.11958189
    i look foward to reading more of your stories in the future, preferably without having such a long wait inbetween posts
    >> Post-New Age !4zDAAqk0r6 09/05/10(Sun)01:27 No.11958190
         File1283664441.jpg-(17 KB, 252x262, tear up.jpg)
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    well done, OP. good night.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:27 No.11958192
    Isn't D&D banned in prisons?
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:27 No.11958195
    You said two more posts, OP. What gives?
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:28 No.11958200
         File1283664490.jpg-(101 KB, 830x830, 235235.jpg)
    101 KB
    Since there's no way they'll be allowed a hardcover book in prison you should obviously send them essentials!
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:28 No.11958203
         File1283664506.png-(311 KB, 515x395, This thread is diamonds.png)
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    Archive time. http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/main.php?mode=submit

    This thread is awesome and OP is most assuredly not a faggot.
    >> 01011001 !!q8KxB04TJME 09/05/10(Sun)01:30 No.11958227
    It's been done already, on suptg.

    Seconding this.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:30 No.11958228
    Uh, I wouldn't really agree with what it looks like you're saying.
    Most criminals are shit dishonourable nowadays, but bikers are one of the few lovable groups among them.
    >> An0nymous !gkWeiOwuW2 09/05/10(Sun)01:30 No.11958230
    rolled 17877 = 17877


    Hey, hey.

    We use /tg/ archive.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:31 No.11958240
    Thank you!
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:31 No.11958242
    Varies from facility to facility. When I was still a chaplain, I ran a small group for friends inside.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:31 No.11958245
    I seriously want to make a comic about this.

    This deserves a fucking comic.
    >> An0nymous !gkWeiOwuW2 09/05/10(Sun)01:32 No.11958251
    rolled 5515 = 5515

    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:32 No.11958255

    Okay, I phrased that badly.

    I suppose it would be more accurate to say that I love bikies (regardless of the fact that some of them happen to be criminals, and that bikies in general are given a bad name).
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:33 No.11958263
    yeah, they said it would facilitate escape fantasies, I shit thee not

    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:33 No.11958265
    >2 more posts

    >only one post

    Where's the rest of the goddamn story OP?
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:33 No.11958266


    I heard through the grapevine that Tiny got out eventually and actually DID start up a game in prison. Evidently he was DMing, but they (the prison) banned it because it encouraged violence.

    I've moved to a different state since this all happened, but it was a hell of an experience. I didn't want to tell the rest of it, after the game, becasue it was just typical drunken horseshit, except for the part where I told them about cursed dice, and Tiny actually put them in his beer (2 d20s) and DRANK them. That was funny, or at least seemed like it at the time.

    I'm sorry, in reality they took the farmer's daughter as "property" and gang-raped her while the weeping farmer watched. Better? Some people....
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:34 No.11958277
         File1283664892.png-(15 KB, 225x224, bad ending bikerbold.png)
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    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:35 No.11958278
    Yeah I'm pretty sure that's only a few prisons.Prisons just have the right to ban it if they want.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:35 No.11958284

    I suspect by 'BAD END', anon meant that people ended up in gaol and you never got to run another game with them.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:39 No.11958311

    >what were their alignments?

    We didn't spend a lot of time on this. Nobody was really playing a class where it mattered too much, so I glossed over it. Come on, bikers? Alignment? I didn't want to get into that discussion.

    The cleric was CG, rest could have been anything....CG, CN, CE maybe for Rich...or LE for James!. Tiny was Chaotic Awesome.

    and with this post, I'm off to bed. Glad you enjoyed /tg/, stay classy.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:41 No.11958325
    We need a drawfag here now. The comic would start with OP showing up to the biker clubhouse IRL, then sitting down and meeting them / making characters. That would be brief. It would then segue into D&D characters dressed in leather vests going on the adventure, with short, 1-2 panel cuts back to IRL for choice interjections from the group, like when they were yelling at the rouge for not helping out in the dogmen lair.
    >> Underdark Russian Writefag 09/05/10(Sun)01:44 No.11958359
         File1283665479.jpg-(48 KB, 410x361, Putincat.jpg)
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    I've seen some epic tales, I've heard some rampant bullshit and then I've seen this. Were I a Dwarf, I would sing you the song of my people, for we have just struck solid fucking gold.

    I salute you, good sir. You tell a good story and I pray by all the things worth praying to that you can repeat an example of awesome DMing such as this again.

    Putincat approves of this entirely.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:46 No.11958381
    ...I think he was talking about them going to prison, broski <_<
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)01:51 No.11958426
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:00 No.11958514
    this needs archive
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:03 No.11958550

    Its been archived you fucking faggot. Read the damn thread.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:05 No.11958566
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    Guess I'll take my NWoD books and stroll on over to a bad part of town.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:06 No.11958582

    >Implying anyone manly would like to play some emo faggoty shit like WoD
    >> Underdark Russian Writefag 09/05/10(Sun)02:08 No.11958602
         File1283666903.jpg-(52 KB, 480x600, iwtb.jpg)
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    I play nWoD.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:14 No.11958666

    My point stands.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:17 No.11958705
    Most of the people I game with could be booked on drug charges, do they count as criminals?
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:17 No.11958709
    Your point is invalid. He's the guy who wrote about the Spetnaz in the fucking Underdark. Go read about Maxim and his asskickers before you open your fool mouth.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:19 No.11958723
    >last three digits are six
    >talking crazy
    You are possessed, anon.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:19 No.11958730

    >Implying I opened my mouth

    Gee, you type with your tongue?

    Also, namefagging is opposite to manliness, so yeah, my point stands.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:23 No.11958767
    >archived writer recruiting a player two threads over for his game
    Gee. Wonder why?
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:25 No.11958797

    A man who built 1000 bridges and sucked dick once will not be known as a famous engineer, he will be known as a cocksucker.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:27 No.11958807
    Given you couldn't spell bridge properly twice in a sentence, how do you feel, cocksucker?

    As namefags go, he's one of the good ones.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:28 No.11958833

    Given that you've been trolled hard, how do you feel, namefag?
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:29 No.11958842
    I'm not a namefag, dipshit.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:31 No.11958860

    >Implying you're not the NWoD namefag samefagging as anon
    >> PaladinGuy !!0ZL3cy8TJ55 09/05/10(Sun)02:33 No.11958879
    >>Implying you aren't implying he is.

    Here, to save you the trouble.

    >>Implying that I'm implying that he's implying tha-THIS SHIT IS UTTERLY IDIOTIC.
    >> Underdark Russian Writefag 09/05/10(Sun)02:34 No.11958880
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    What kind of temper tantrum you must throw when someone posts with a non-anon handle here. I logged in, still had my name up from posting a full length story last night/this morning, you can't come to grips with that?

    How sad you're ass has to be, trolling for no better purpose than the trumpeting of your own asshorn.

    Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:36 No.11958898
    >implying that this isn't the same faggot from before trolling again.

    Mods, put this thread down, it's lived a good life.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:39 No.11958913

    >Implying I'm not

    >Implying the mods will obey you
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:46 No.11958973
         File1283669208.gif-(106 KB, 640x345, 1212046535738.gif)
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    ignoring the bullshit >implying storm thats going on now, you did fucking awesomely OP. for that, I salute you!
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:52 No.11959028
    I can just imagine the prison D&D game ahahahah

    Okay party, a bunch of town guardsmen approach what do you do?

    Jose Wetback: Hey maaaaan I cass magic misssilee, show them pendejos not to fuck with me!


    Chris the white collar criminal: Ummm maybe we should... talk to them? See if we can reason our way out?

    And then everyone looks at him like a tard, he later gets shanked that night.
    >> Anonymous 09/05/10(Sun)02:56 No.11959063
    The games I ran inside were standard-issue except for they played down the sex angle (I was a chaplain at the time) and played up concepts they liked: triumphing over long odds, solid fights, dependable NPCs, trustworthy friendships. Ethnically, it was almost all white guys, except for a half-Korean guy who joined in for a one-shot. They did stage a couple of prison breaks which weren't entirely plot-oriented and they never trusted anything with the word "guard" in their title.

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