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  • File : 1287861192.png-(41 KB, 222x167, shootingstar.png)
    41 KB The Quest Begins... PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)15:13 No.12545927  
    A star streaks across the sky.

    It flashes bright across the atmosphere, passing continents and wide oceans alike. Beasts see it, and pay no attention. Orks see it, and argue over its meaning. A few huddled humans see it, hidden in their secret lairs, and are afraid.

    Suddenly, it does something no shooting star would do. It fires its stabilizing thrusters. Its descent slows from mindnumbing speed to simply fast, and it careens off the side of a mountain, precipitating a small landside into the rainforest below.

    The star, still white-hot from its fall from heaven, streaks at angle over the tops of enormous trees, dropping into the canopy, and drawing a line of fire across the forest.

    The damp air quickly extinguishes the blaze, and the star eventually slows, as it crashes through yet more trees and branches. Rolling, still smoking, the star comes to a rest.

    Nothing happens.

    Suddenly, you awaken in the darkness. Your heart pounds. You're terrified. Who are you? Just as you realize you don't know, a line of light appears in front of you. With a hissing sound, the line widens to reveal a hatch. The clamps and belts securing you release with popping noise.

    You crawl out of the star, and into the jungle.

    Roll a d100.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)15:16 No.12545957
    Bump for interest?
    >> dice+1d100 Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)15:17 No.12545961
    I'm in.
    >> dice 1d100 Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)15:18 No.12545970
    ... Trying againr
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)15:18 No.12545973
    This is getting emberrasing... a little help please?
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)15:19 No.12545980

    Goes in your e-mail, hah. No worries, you keep bumping this as well.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)15:20 No.12545993
    rolled 45 = 45

    oh fuck me sideways... Something tells me i should post a little more, and not just lurk all the time...
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)15:20 No.12545997
    rolled 33 = 33

    Rolling for progress.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)15:21 No.12546001
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)15:24 No.12546032
    rolled 70 = 70


    Stumbling to your feet, you look around. The jungle is loud.

    You can barely hear your own thoughts, not that you have too many at the moment. Trying to clear your head, you examine yourself.

    You are thickly muscled, with dark skin, and powerful limbs. Your hands are dextrous, and you have a sixth finger on your left hand.

    Suddenly, you hear a rustling in the undergrowth. An Ork rolls into the clearing. He is chest-high to you, but immediately grins toothily.

    "My, wot a big humie we 'ave 'ere!" He raises his Choppa menacingly.

    Roll d100, what do?!
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)15:26 No.12546055
    rolled 10 = 10

    I take a quick look at my surroundings, and see if there is anything I can use as a weapon.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)15:27 No.12546067
    Oh god, i have allready killed us, haven't I?
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)15:33 No.12546113

    You prepare to defend yourself as the Ork approaches. He raises his Choppa high to swing and...

    A flash of black lightning streaks over the bushes to the right and collides into the Ork, who immediately begins shrieking.

    An enormous panther-like...thing.. is casually snacking on the Ork. Its bladed tail patiently slices off a limb at a time, and it uses its huge clawed paws to toss them into an impossibly toothed maw. It's easily three times your size, and the Ork is dead by the time you realize something is eating it.

    You take a small step backwards in absolute terror.

    And step on a twig. Which snaps.

    The panther raises its head and stares at you, six eyes narrowing in hunger.

    Oh, shit, what are you going to do?

    Roll d100.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)15:37 No.12546167
    rolled 89 = 89

    Showing this creature my back now will surely be my doom. I take bold steps forward while roaring a challenge to the beast, to show it will not be an easy kill.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)15:38 No.12546177
    High is good, right?
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)15:40 No.12546193
    rolled 14 = 14

    not if he's using the Dark Heresy system it isn't
    I say we run like the dickens
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)15:42 No.12546222

    Suddenly, your adrenaline surges.

    You may know nothing about yourself, but you're damned sure you AREN'T a coward. You gather yourself mentally, step forward, and ROAR like the predator you know you are.

    The sonic attack is shockingly loud, and the panther's face's ripples back.

    The panther immediately roars back, in a higher timber. It's not afraid of you, and it's confident in its killing power. It split open that Ork like it was a melon, and it think its can do the same to us.

    Suddenly, it leaps forward with blinding speed, but things seem to slow down in your mind. Everything becomes extremely clear. The Ork's Choppa, the panther, and the pod, seem to glow slightly, as your eyes flicker over the scene, absorbing all the relevant information. The panther inches towards you in the air, floating.

    How do you react? Roll a d100.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)15:44 No.12546233

    Not really using any system, you'll see why if we live long enough.

    And yep, high is good. I'll also start applying modifiers to our actions, depending on the gear and traits we acquire.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)15:46 No.12546250
    How far away are we from the panther, and from the choppa?
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)15:49 No.12546283

    The panther is a good 15 feet away, and about 6 feet from the ground, which is about chest level for you, but it's going to make contact with you in under a second. Your reflexes are VERY fast though.

    The Choppa is by the Ork, who against all odds is somehow still alive, or at least shaking slowly, and is a good thirty feet away. The Pod is ten feet to your right, and about ten feet high. The rounded surface is quite slick.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)15:53 No.12546331
    Also, just as a general note, this is my first quest thread, and my first time DMing in general, although I've read and participating in some classic quests (BloodQuest, SlugQuest, DeityQuest, etc).

    If you guys have any constructive criticism, please lemme hear them.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)15:53 No.12546333
    rolled 6 = 6

    I throw myself forwards, and roll forward, hopefully going under the panther. Then I run for the choppa.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)15:56 No.12546359
    While I have read countless quests, i have not really participated in any, so i'm pretty new to this myself.
    So far, it's looking pretty interesting, so keep up the good work.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)15:59 No.12546382

    >hahahah, oh no

    You duck inhumanly fast, and the panther extends its claws in mid-flight.

    It rakes deep into your back with three paws, dealing awful damage, and gouging up huge strips of flesh.

    You scream in terrible agony; the panther's claws are tipped with some kind of natural poison.

    Fighting through the pain, you straighten with another shriek of agony, and begin sprinting towards the Choppa before the panther lands. As you close in on the Choppa, you turn your head to check the Panther's position. Time slows down again as you see that the panther is already in mid-leap again, only twenty feet away and streaking towards you.

    With a quick leap, you could get to the Choppa, but would you risk it? Will you dodge to the side, and let the panther protect the Choppa?

    Roll d100 and react.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)16:02 No.12546423

    I am now understanding the dark pleasure DM's receive while fucking up the players. It's a rich and decadent feeling, lol.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:03 No.12546425
    rolled 62 = 62

    Oh god, the dice hates me.
    What is the ground made of, is there anything within reach we can throw at the panther to blind or distract it with?

    Also, not trusting my dice again, i dodge to the side, throwing anything i can get my hands on.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:05 No.12546442
    Yeah, i know that feeling. We tend to be sadistic fucks who feed on human suffering. I guess i just get what i deserve now
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)16:08 No.12546479

    The ground is covered in a litter of rotting wood, leaves, and general fallen planet matter. You quickly dodge to the side, and as you fall to the ground, you pick up a half rotten log with your left hand, and hurl it into the panther's face, as it just passes you.

    The glancing blow strikes it in one of its many eyes, and the beast roars with frustration as it lands about 15 feet past the Choppa, whipping around to face you. Its right eyes are constantly blinking, trying to clear them from the goo that splashed out of the log.

    You're only ten feet from the Choppa, and the panther seems at least partially blinded.

    roll a d100, what do you do?
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:11 No.12546514
    rolled 7 = 7

    Capitalising on it's moment of weakness, i leap for the choppa, and then charge the monstrosity.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:12 No.12546524
    rolled 47 = 47

    Why me....
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)16:18 No.12546594

    >oh christ

    Taking advantage of the moment, you leap forwards quickly to grab the Choppa, but the axe is slick with the Ork's blood. It takes you an extra half-second to obtain a firm grip on the axe, and you look up for the panther just in time to receive a punishing slashes across your face.

    You feel your right pop in it's socket, and your cheeks slash open. You scream as the poison causes your already punished flesh in your face to scream, neurons flashing in incredible torment.

    Taking the Choppa, you hack downward into the center of the panther's back twice, your strong arm cutting deep into the flesh of the monster's back. If it had a spine, it would be severed, but apparently it does not. The panther squeals in pain, and suddenly backs away.

    You stand with only a single eye remaining and mouth three sizes too big, cheeks rent and bleeding extremely dark blood.

    Do you attack?

    One last d100 here.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)16:20 No.12546614

    Sorry, if it wasn't clear, you lost your right eye. Should start proofreading, noob Quest threads errors, lol.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:23 No.12546639
    Let it go- no need to make it fight for it's life
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)16:25 No.12546666

    Any other opinions?

    This thing just took your right fucking eye, and you're going to let it limp away?
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:26 No.12546670
    rolled 43 = 43

    It happens to everyone.

    Anyway, ignoring my grivous wounds, I charge forward again, screaming a warcry, but I keep my eyes open for any signs of a feint.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:28 No.12546690
    We need to either chase it away or finish it now, so it don't return later. We are allready wounded, and i doubt we are going to be in any better shape if it returns.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:34 No.12546737
    rolled 89 = 89

    wait for it to pounce, KICK IT IN THE FACE AS HARD AS WE CAN
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:37 No.12546761

    >that's what I'm talking about

    You let loose another sonic blast and leap forward. As you approach the monster, you see its six eyes open in shock. Clearly, in this jungle, nothing takes the punishment you just took, and keeps on coming.

    You bring down the choppa deep in it's right shoulder with your right arm, and it snaps at your wrist with it's daggerlike teeth, making huge gashes in your arm.

    You take your left fist, and with all your strength, punch it directly in the head. It's skull fractures with a crunch, and some of its eyes pop out of their sockets, hanging by the disgusting thread of neuronal tissue and blue-black arteries. The thing spasms wildly, and you get slashed shallowly across your chest with it's bladed tail.

    Suddenly, all movement ceases. You gently pry it's jaws off your heavily muscled wrist. The punctures are deep, and you leak red-black blood. You wrench the choppa loose from the corpse and sit next to it's cooling form.

    You mentally check the damage. Huge gashes in your back. Your right eye gone. Your mouth jaggedly extends to your ears on both sides. Huge bite on your right forearm. All this, and the poison from the beast is setting your body on fire.

    You've never hurt this much since...

    Well, you don't remember anything asides getting out from your pod. Two minutes ago. All this happened in under two minutes. Luckily, your wounds are already sealing.

    Your stomach growls. You're fucking starving. Your pod's door lies open invitingly. There must be a way to close it? There's enough room in the pod to fit a dead panther or a dead Ork, with yourself inside as well.

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:37 No.12546762
    It is backing away, why should we let it take the initiative?
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:42 No.12546799
    go for the ork, we know the panther has poison it may be dangerous to eat, wheras the ork may just taste bad.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:42 No.12546806
    Drag the dead panther to the pod, and then go inside to see if we can make out a closing mechanism. Then we drag the panther inside with us, and close the door.
    >> Tsundere Anubis 10/23/10(Sat)16:44 No.12546818
    I wouldn't recommend ork
    Their spores are toxic
    Why not see if this guys still alive?
    Convince him that you're bigga and tuffa and generally orky and he'll follow you like a puppy
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:46 No.12546831
    in that case the panthers poison doesn't seem to be doing much permanant damage apart from the extra pain.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:47 No.12546843

    >sounds good to me.

    You stagger to your feet, and walk over to the Ork. The Ork, unbelievably, looks a little better than he did previously. As you approach, he fearfully drops the intestines he had been trying to gather back into himself and whispers to you.

    "Wot kinda 'umie is you? Nobody killz a Jagwhar. Nobody." You can't tell whether he's shaking in terror or in pain. Either way, you don't care. Taking the Choppa, you behead the beast, and drag his corpse into the pod. Nearly falling inside. you see three buttons. Pressing one does nothing. Pressing the second one turns on a dim light in the pod. Pressing the third one causes the pod door to silently slide shut and lock.

    Looking down at the Ork, you grimly begin cutting up the meat. You hope you can stomach it.

    Luckily, you can. In fact, it tastes... passable. You devour nearly half of the Ork's meat, before collapsing into a deep sleep.

    Roll a d100.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)16:53 No.12546897
    rolled 83 = 83

    I hope the dice gods have forgiven me...
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:00 No.12546963

    >apparently, they have!

    You sleep for what feels like a week. When you awaken, the smell is terrible. Your stomach feels a bit upset. but other than that, you feel much better. Turning on the pod light, you examine yourself as best you can.

    Impossibly, many of your wounds have already healed. In fact, they're barely even scars. Massaging your face, you feel that your nose is the right shape again, and your cheeks have healed back over. Your mouth isn't exactly the shape that it used to be, but you think you can live with that.

    Gingerly, you probe your right eye socket. Nothing. Whatever regenerative powers you have apparently don't extend to eyeballs.

    Time to explore.

    You open the pod doors, Choppa in hand, feeling...bigger.

    In fact, you are slightly taller. It appears you're still growing. The panther, or "Jagwhar" as the Ork called it, is still very dead. It's actually pretty untouched, although the Ork has definitely passed into the rotting stage. You have no idea why.

    Choppa in hand, you examine the Jaguar. You can't help but notice you're completely naked, and the skin of the Jaguar looks especially thick. Even better, the skin and fur appears rather resistant to rotting.

    Roll a d100 for your success at making a Jaguarskin get-up.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:01 No.12546985
    rolled 70 = 70

    I try rolling again, i mean, what could possibly go wrong this time?
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:04 No.12547009
    not much by the looks of it
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:06 No.12547037

    >not much, except discovering you're a shitty tailor.

    Your attempt at making clothes goes rather well. You're now clothed in the thick protective garb of the Jaguar's hide. You think it'll actually provide you with a measure of protection as well, considering it somewhat resisted the cutting power of your Choppa.

    Using some tendons, you take a couple Jaguar teeth and string them together into a tooth necklace, and string some of its claws onto your Choppa. Now everyone will know that you killed one of these fucking things.

    Speaking of everyone, you hope there's more to this planet than Orks, jungles, and monsters.

    Should we go exploring? How cautious should we be?

    Looking ahead of you, you can see the general path the pod must have taken as it crashed into the jungle.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:07 No.12547049
    This leather getup will probably be the equivalent of guard issue flak armour.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:07 No.12547050
    go along the path 10 meters to the side, to avoid any unnesecary meetings with hostiles
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:11 No.12547083
    we better not be a fucking space marine, thats all i have to say.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:16 No.12547127

    Cautiously, you begin walking down the path, by a few meters into the jungle, in order to stay out of side as much as possible.

    As you walk, you start getting a feel for the jungle. It's raucously loud, but making any noise yourself tends to silence everything at once; like the jungle holds its breathe in fear.

    Very quickly, you learn where to step in order to avoid crackling twigs and making a nuisance.

    After an hour or two at this, you're able to move fairly quietly through the underbrush. You aren't exactly a ghost, but you think you won't be attracting any undue attention simply by moving either.

    A few times, you hear something big get close, and you have to drop to the ground silently, and wait it out, but each time the danger passes, and you continue on.

    Every few minutes, you peek your head out along the path to make sure you're going to the right way. As you continue, the fog and mist in the sky begin to reveal a mountain, a mountain still on fire, presumably from your pod, you think.

    Go up to the mountain? It might be a nice place to survey our surroundings and determine where the hell we are.

    Roll a d100 and give a course of action.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:16 No.12547133

    You aren't.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:18 No.12547158
    rolled 19 = 19

    well, here goes nothing
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:19 No.12547165
    well shit
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:19 No.12547169
    We have seen what the wildlife here is capable off, and we should do our outmost to avoid any more encounters. Walk cautiously beside the trail the pod made, freeze whenever you hear a sound, and do not move again until you are sure it's safe. Be on the constant lookout for danger.

    Also, see if we can do anything to camouflage our face and hands, to make them stand less out from the forest. The rest of our body should be covered by the panther leather, and therefore naturally camouflaged.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)17:20 No.12547172

    I'll give you a chance to re-roll, as long as you give me a plan, haha.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:22 No.12547194
    rolled 39 = 39

    I guess i'm a little to late with my post. Anyway, crawl up the mountainside, and try not to make a silouete.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:22 No.12547202
    rolled 73 = 73

    crawl up the side of the mountain at a slow rate to avoid sight, once up there look for any orc settlements, they seem to to respect the fact that we killed a "Jagwhar"
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)17:28 No.12547263

    You decide to ascend to the top of the mountain, and avoid trouble the best you can. Along the way, you find a massive tree gouged with MASSIVE claw marks. The tree is oozing mildly sticky dark sap, and so you spread it all over your body, giving you a nice camouflaged type effect. Between the sap, the leaves stuck to the sap, and the panther hide, you're pretty well suited for the jungle environment.

    You make it to the base of the mountain without any trouble, but as you begin your ascent, you hear Orkish voices quickly arguing and approaching your position.

    From what you can hear, they're following the path, but in the opposite direction, on orders to see if it's anything useful.

    Roll d100, what do you do? Hide completely, confront them? Hunt them one by one and eat one? You're getting somewhat hungry again.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:31 No.12547298
    rolled 50 = 50

    confront them! show them that you are not to be trifled with and should be feared/worshipped
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:32 No.12547307
    rolled 44 = 44

    Hide, and see if anyone laggs behind. If anyone do, we make them "dissapear", maybe leaving one of the panther tooths behind, to make it look like one of them got him.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)17:35 No.12547348

    Any other opinions? I'll let you guys discuss this further if necessary.

    Also, a sidenote, we're basically at our first juncture. I have several different plans laid out, and depending on how you treat these Orks, we may end up doing wildly different things. Just letting you know.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:37 No.12547357
    i say we confront them and try to become the leader of the group/warband then go from there, but im also open to suggestions
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:39 No.12547388
    I would favour a more stealthy approach, but i also badly need some sleep now, so just go ahed and make your warband. I'll look forward to seeing how this goes tomorow.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:41 No.12547401
    ok, have a good night, ill try not get us killed

    also, wat
    >effects amolent
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:45 No.12547442
    sup /b/. thanks for the image.

    >uncircumcised porn
    huh, not something you see every day
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)17:45 No.12547453

    >combining these.

    The Orks are relatively quiet, but you've adapted quickly and can tell generally where they are.

    Hiding behind a large tree, you keep dead silent as they pass you, a few feet to your left. In the midst of their argument, they miss you completely. You wait a few moments, and then leap forward.

    "Orks! Who is your master?" you bellow.

    They turn around, four in total. One of them is armed with some kind of primitive gun, but the other three have Choppas of various makes and designs.

    Immediately, the one with the gun aims his weapon, and the other three snarl and approach with their axes raised.

    apparently, they're not willing to parley.

    Roll a d100 and gimme a plan.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)17:46 No.12547470

    Hey /b/, how's things?

    Running a quest thread all up in this bitch. You're welcome to join in, if you want.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:48 No.12547492
    rolled 38 = 38

    roll to the leftof the advancing orks getting ready for the gunner to shoot, then proceed to run and grab the nearest ork to use as a shield
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:54 No.12547553
    also, are these 40k orks or something else?
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)17:56 No.12547574
    Fuck, we should've mad a hat out of the Jaguar's head.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)17:59 No.12547594

    Again, as you act, your reflexes become preternaturally fast. You leap towards the nearest Ork, hacking off the arm holding the Choppa at the elbow, and easily manhandle the Ork into position in front of you.

    The Shoota Ork is unprepared for your lightning fast movement, and is clearly a terrible shot, he rattled off a few machine gun bursts around you wildly, hitting the Orks around you.

    A few bullets thud into the Ork you hold in front of you and he yells in rage.

    You snap his neck and quickly hack the other two Choppa Orks to pieces before they have a chance to defend themselves.

    The Shootah Ork tried to fire at you again, as you stand in front of him, but his gun misfires and jams. He has no idea what you are, furry, darkened by sap, holding a Choppa and covered in Ork blood.

    Try to speak with him again, just kill him, or something else?

    Roll a d100 and decide your course of action.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)18:01 No.12547619

    You have no idea, but the Ork standing in front of you has a primitive snub-nosed Shootah.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)18:02 No.12547630
    rolled 99 = 99

    knock him unconcious with the pommel of the choppa, and drag him back to the pod to interrogate him
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)18:08 No.12547676

    >there's a damned good roll

    You swat the gun out of the Ork's hands, and headbutt him. Gently.

    He collapses in a big, green heap, and you throw him over your shoulder. Making your way back through the jungle with a 300 pound Ork on your back is a test of your newly acquired forestry skills, but you've improved by an impressive amount in a very short timespan.

    You make it back to your pod with virtually no trouble, although the Ork on your back stirs and needs to be "calmed" a few more times on the way.

    You throw him into your pod, and having a bright thought, strap him into the seat, using the buckles to ensure he can't escape,. You leave the other corpse in there for general effect.

    The Ork comes to, after you give him a healthy slap.

    He narrows his eyes. What do you ask him?

    Roll a d100 for how well you interrogate him.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)18:10 No.12547694
    rolled 68 = 68

    ask how many there are in their warband and what weapons they have
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)18:17 No.12547752

    Before he gets a chance to speak, you ask him how many other Boys there are, and what weapons they have.

    He spits in your face.

    You punch him in the gut, but maybe a little too hard: you have to pull your fist out of his guts with an audible sucking noise. He passes out from the pain.

    You ask him again when he wakes up, and this time he's more forthcoming.

    "We'ze got a hundred Boyz at least, you humie bastard! Wiff Shootaz and Choppaz and our Mekboy Skrewbolt is building somefing even bigga! He sez it'll be ded killy, and they'll all come lookin fer ya when we don't come back."

    Judging by the quality of the shootah this Ork was holding, you don't have too much to fear from whatever this Ork was building. Anything else to ask the Ork, maybe where their main camp is, or where the humies are?
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)18:20 No.12547784
    rolled 15 = 15

    ask how far away the nearest settlments are, both human and ork
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)18:26 No.12547849

    You do so, but he only knows the location of his Ork encampment with any confidence. He says the humies are mostly outside the jungle, on the coast, but doesn't know more than that.

    As for other Orks, he can only tell rumors of an Ork Warlord sweeping south through the jungle with a large army; but his tribe of Orks is convinced they're very far away and doomed to fail anyways; there's much more dangerous things in the jungle than jaguars.

    He refuses to elaborate on what those more dangerous things are, he's convinced that speaking of them will summon them.

    You've gotten all the information you can from this Ork, and you're really hungry. You think you could probably get him to guide you back to his camp, but you're also really hungry.

    What do you wanna do?
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)18:29 No.12547891
    get cooking! but first, did we bring the shoota back with us? if so check what condition it's in and if it's usable
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)18:29 No.12547895
    Intimidate him into following us, as we are ded 'ard.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)18:30 No.12547906
    rolled 19 = 19

    Intimidate him into following us, as we are ded 'ard.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)18:35 No.12547950

    >compromising, :)

    You knock the Ork out again with a tap to the head, and use your choppa to cut off his arms. There's enough meat on them for a good-size meal, and you figure he's tough enough to survive the double amputation.

    You can't start a fire, everything is too wet, so you resign yourself to another raw meal.

    As you eat, you take a look at the shootah you brought back with you.

    Roll 2 d100's, one for repairing the shootah, and one for whether our Ork friend stays alive and sane enough to be our guide.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)18:35 No.12547961
    rolled 51, 28 = 79

    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)18:36 No.12547963
    rolled 81, 11 = 92

    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)18:46 No.12548053

    Taking apart the shootah, it's actually astonishingly simple. You're beginning to be confused about how you know anything about weapon design, or Orks, or even how to speak; you don't remember anything prior the pod door opening.

    The jam is actually easy to fix, although the gun is still pretty misfire prone, nothing to do about that.

    The Ork awakens to find both his arms missing, and begins shrieking almost girlishly. You punch him across the face but he keeps screaming, so you knock him out again.

    When he wakes back up, he's definitely wild-eyed. He'll live, but you're not quite sure if he's as stable as he used to be, if Orks can ever be said to be stable.

    You tell him you're in charge, and you want to go back to his camp. He nods frantically in agreement before you even finish your demands. Clearly, he's terrified of you.

    You unstrap him, and use your choppa to construct a big leash around his neck. You tell him it's for two things; making sure he can't run away, and tying him to a tree for the Jaguars if he tries to fuck with us.

    You start out back down the path you came from, Ork leading, but before you get too far, you use the sap from a tree to pack up the Ork's wounds. You don't want the blood to attract things.

    Roll two 1d100's, one for the armless wonder to lead us in the correct direction, and one to avoid attention from jungle predators.

    Also, gonna take a thirty minute break for dinner. If you have any questions about the setting or anything else, I'll answer them as long as they don't spoil surprises I have lined up.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)18:49 No.12548077
    one OOC question, is this in the 40k universe or is it inspired by it
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)19:02 No.12548208

    It is actually the 40k universe, I've just chosen a particularly small part of it to start in. If things go the way I want, and this quest escalates quickly, you'll start seeing clues as to where we are and why we're here.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)19:04 No.12548231
    perfect, that helps me as i have my ork codex andi think i might know who that big ork warlord is
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)19:07 No.12548253

    Really?! I've been making this up on the fly, other than having the big picture in mind, lol.

    Oh, and could I get two 1d100's? Gonna be ready to start in a few minutes.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)19:09 No.12548274
    rolled 59, 25 = 84

    your doing well so far
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)19:10 No.12548288
    im also assuming these orks are "feral ones" so they will only have the basic of shits
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)19:30 No.12548481
    also is everyone dead?
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)19:31 No.12548487
    bumping to keep thread alive
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)19:31 No.12548489

    You and the Ork have been making good progress up the path, although the Ork needs to be reminded about where you're heading every ten minutes or so. It seems his attention span has been adversely affected by your treatment of him. After more threatening, he eventually leads you around the mountain, rather than up it, stating that terrible monsters live up there. You're okay with avoiding terrible monsters, and he says that the camp isn't too far ahead, and you can follow a river most of the way there. You find the river after a hell of a lot of backtracking, and you don't really need your guide any longer, but you figure speaking to the Orks will be easier if you bring an "interpreter" with you. About twenty minutes after finding the river and starting your way down it, you hear something roar. Loudly.

    The Ork whimpers in terror, and immediately tries to flee, but you yank him back towards you. You whisper to him to ask what the hell it is and what you should do, but after you ask you hear extremely heavy footsteps and heavy, deep breathing, you both dive to the ground into some bushes and keep absolutely still.

    Something absolutely enormous steps overhead to drink, but you don't get a good look at it. Altogether, you get the impression the best way to deal with it would be to run away. Quickly.

    Luckily, it doesn't appear to have noticed you, and suddenly, it leaps into the river.It must have been much deeper than you thought, because it swifter disappears from view, and does not resurface.

    The rest of the hike continues without event, and eventually, you reach an Orkish sign that indicates the camp is ahead.

    Fearlessly, you drag your pet Ork inside the camp, and you get a good look.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)19:32 No.12548493
    It's mostly a series of huts centered around a huge bonfire; and sentries with primitive shootahs stand on top of shoddily built platforms raised about ten feet high. You get the impression that animals only stay away due to the loudness of the shootahs, rather than fear of being killed. At the far end of the camp, you see sparks and flashing lights; that must be the Mekboy's hut. The Ork you have leashed greatly exaggerated their numbers, there couldn't be more than 60 Orks total.

    Must just be enough to fend off any wild animals, you think.

    You unleash your Ork, who promptly runs into one of the huts and starts yelling about the new jungle monster (you).

    Orks immediately jump out of their huts, but they aren't armed, just yet. Looking at you warily, they're not sure what you are or what you want, especially since you brought a terribly maimed Ork back to camp. They stare at you.

    What do you say to them?

    Roll a d100 for the success or failure of your action.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)19:34 No.12548512
    shout, Who is your leader!
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)19:40 No.12548576

    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)19:41 No.12548591
    rolled 71 = 71

    oh wait yea, didn't see that
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)19:54 No.12548715

    You shout out your challenge, and the flashing lights and sparks coming from the Hut at the end abruptly stop.

    The other Orks began chanting and shouting; they think a good fight's on the way.

    You shift your Choppa and Shoota in your left and right hands, respectively.

    Before the Mekboy exits his tent; something flashes in your mind; the image of the Mekboy.

    His lower jaw is metal, his shootah is much larger and of higher quality than yours, and he has a large backpack for an unknown purpose. In the image, he's surrounded by a field of orange lightning.

    Blinking, you clear your vision to see the Mekboy exit the tent. He matches your vision precisely. You clear your mind; no time for day dreaming at the moment.

    "Wot's dis?" he asks.

    "Wot kind of beastie do we 'ave 'ere?" He isn't sure what to make of you, either.

    What's your plan?

    Roll d100 and give the course of action.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)19:57 No.12548751
    rolled 38 = 38

    shoot him in the face until he is dead. then say "i'm da boss."
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)19:57 No.12548756
    rolled 47 = 47

    roar defiantly and state that this warband was to become yours
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)20:03 No.12548809

    Roaring, you charge forwards, holding your shootah like a pistol and unleashing a rather inaccurate hail of bullets in the Mekboy's direction, letting loose another sonic boom of a roar, "THIS IS MY WARBAND NOW."

    The bullets land all around him, scoring a few hits, but mostly just pissing him off.

    You charge towards him at lightning speed as he readies his own shootah.

    He yells back, "DON'T FINK SO, YOU GIT!"

    Roll a 1d100, give me your battle strategy.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)20:06 No.12548848
    rolled 72 = 72

    roll left while continuing forward into mellee range once in range try to hack limb thats holding the off, then his head
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)20:07 No.12548857
    i meant to say hack the limb holding the gun off
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)20:14 No.12548932

    With blinding speed for an 8-foot giant, you dodge left among the Ork spectators, shouldering your way through them and using their bodies as a limited shield.

    The Mekboy continues to unload his shootah at you, but the recoil is too strong for any accuracy in prolonged bursts; he hits mostly his own Orks, although a bullet punchs a hole through your right thigh. You barely feel it, as you close to melee range.

    Your eyes flash over the Mekboy, and you see a crack in the barrel of the Mekboy's gun as you swing your Choppa down to sever his arm.

    The Mekboy partially deflects the blow with his shoota, which splits into two pieces, and you bury your axe into his bicep, but don't cleave all the way through.

    The Mekboy's metal jaw opens and he moves to bite your Choppa arm off, what do you do?

    Roll a d100.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)20:16 No.12548960
    rolled 53 = 53

    grab the jaw where it is bolted to his face and RIP!
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)20:20 No.12549007

    You let go the Choppa and instead grab hold the metal jaw; with one solid tug you rip it off his face.

    His tongue flopping in the wind, the Mekboy howls in pain and decks you across the face before you can regain your balance. You see stars, and are thrown to the ground, flat on your back, holding your shootah.

    The Mekboy tears your Choppa out of his arm, and swings wildly towards your body, what do you do?

    Roll a 1d100.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)20:23 No.12549041
    rolled 57 = 57

    ram the sharp ends of the jaw into the mekboys leg and pull him over
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)20:27 No.12549083

    (Use your shootah! still works fine)
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)20:29 No.12549107
    rolled 79 = 79

    i ran the shoota against the mekboys knee and unleash a hailstorm of bullets into his kneecap
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)20:30 No.12549124
    >i stab him in the leg
    >you realise you have a gun?
    >i stab him in the leg with my gun

    I love you guys
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)20:40 No.12549216

    >me too, lol

    Rolling to the side to dodge the Mekboy's wild choppa strike, you smash your shootah against his knee while you pull the trigger, obliterating the flesh behind it.

    The Mekboy screams in rage and pain, and you stand as the Mekboy topples over.

    As he lays in the litter of mud and leaves, his backpack starts to make whirring noise, as if it was charging. You kick him in the face as hard you can with your heel, and you hear the sick crunch of nose being driven back into his skull.

    The Boy falls back dead, silently, as his backpack continues to charge.

    Suddenly, you have another split-second vision; the backpack exploding with fiery orange bolts of energy frying you, as you stand over the Boy.

    Time slows as you realize that this is about to happen.

    You throw yourself backwards quickly, and as you roll away, the backpack explodes in a burst of orange power.

    Nothing is left of the Boy, except the metal jaw. Sadly, your Choppa is destroyed. You stand holding your shoota, as you turn to face the other Orks.

    The others stare at you, and a large Ork menacingly steps forward, about to say something.

    How do you react?

    Roll a 1d100 for the success of your action.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)20:42 No.12549243
    rolled 3 = 3

    shoot him in the face!
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)20:43 No.12549254
    wow that was bad
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)20:47 No.12549292
    rolled 28 = 28


    lets not do that.

    Instead, I think it's time for an evil laugh.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)20:48 No.12549307
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)20:48 No.12549309

    > we don't have time for this shit

    As he steps forward, you attempt to shoot him in the face.

    Your shoota misfired and jams completely.

    The Ork grins and sprints forward.

    You respond by throwing the shoota as hard as possible at the Ork, and the force of the blow is hard enough to knock him out.

    You march over to his unconscious form and curbstomp his face until he doesn't have one.

    You look up at the Orks and say, "Anyone else want to pick a fight?"

    They stare silently at you. You think that means you just took control of an Ork mob.

    What now?

    There are supposedly humans like you out by the coast, but that's through the jungle, which is exceedingly dangerous.

    There's an Ork Warlord somewhere to the north, but you have no idea where he is, or what his plans are.

    What's your plan of action?
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)20:50 No.12549323
    rolled 6 = 6


    Laugh maniacally until the orks get bored and do something else.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)20:51 No.12549337
    should we go north or go to the humans?
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)20:55 No.12549364
    north has more orks and possible dangers while the coast has humans who are afraid of orcs
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)20:56 No.12549373
    Well, completely up to you guys.

    You aren't an Ork, although you're certainly tough enough to lead them if you want, and you're still getting stronger day by day. It's entirely possible that by the time you get to the Warlord to the north, you could defeat him and take over his Waaagh! Not sure his army would stay together for too long with a non-Ork at the helm though.

    You know virtually nothing of the humans, so I can't really offer any particular advice there.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)20:59 No.12549386
    north it is then, at eight feet tall and with a warband of orcs we'd go down well
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:02 No.12549413
    >inhuman abilities
    >came down in a drop pod
    >no fucking clue what's going on

    We're the primarch of the Salamander's chapter.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:03 No.12549424
    probly, but hell who care? we get to lead an amy of ORKS!
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:03 No.12549426
    Teach them how to sing, morale bonuses for EVERYONE!
    Either that or beatbox.

    Also: find red pigment and make everything we use red... it works better if it's red. For serious.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:05 No.12549445
    +1 inch of movement in the table top, cause of orks inate psykic powes
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:11 No.12549498
    anyhow back to the quest, are there any meks in the camp that can make some vehicles, also we need to see what the other mek was making that was "ded killy"
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)21:14 No.12549511

    Close, but no cigar, friend.


    North, it is.

    You tell your mob what's going on. We're joining up with the Big Boss up north, joining his Waaagh! and generally fucking shit up.

    You find the biggest Ork you can, and tell him he's your second in command. He takes your orders very seriously and calls you One Eye.

    You like that.

    As the Orks pack, you got to the Mekboy's shop and pick up some Ork armor. It would be extremely uncomfortable on your bare flesh, since it's basically scrap metal welded together, but when it's over your Jaguar pelt it's actually pretty wearable.

    You also find a high quality Choppa, and another Big Shoota in the shed.

    Walking out, the Orks seems much more comfortable with your command. After all, you're the same size as a Boss, wearing Ork armor and using Ork weapons.

    They get packed and ready, and you head north, along the river.

    You have about 50 Slugga Boyz under your command, and about 10 Shoota Boyz. There's virtually no dissension.

    Roll a 1d100 for your first day of travel. Talking to your Ork Lieutenant, it'll take at least three days to get out of the jungle, and into the open plains, where the Warlord is supposedly headed.

    also, roll another 1d100 for teaching the Orks to beatbox for morale bonuses, haha
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)21:16 No.12549519

    The mek in the camp was actually pretty terrible, his shoota are of low quality, and he was just figuring out how to make big shootas.

    The 'ded killy' thing I was going to have him work on was just a Wartrukk, but we arrived at the camp early, so it was still only a pile of scrap. We took everything useful from the camp.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:18 No.12549538
    rolled 83, 5 = 88

    i must teach them to beatbox!
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)21:21 No.12549558

    Let's get another couple rolls for variety's sake.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:22 No.12549567
    rolled 24 = 24

    Oh you motherfucker...
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:22 No.12549569
    rolled 45, 7 = 52

    lets hope this one is better
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:23 No.12549574
    rolled 16, 2 = 18

    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:23 No.12549576
    rolled 92, 99 = 191

    Rerollin', forgot it was 2d100
    Second is for beatboxin' goodness.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:23 No.12549581
    rolled 64, 1 = 65

    apparently orks REALLY can't beatbox
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:24 No.12549588
    rolled 90, 64 = 154

    woah shit, can we use this one?!
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:24 No.12549589
    Fucking righteous. It WAS my idea, therefore I am proud to be the roller of these exquisite numerals.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:25 No.12549595
    i want beatboxing dreadnougts!
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)21:30 No.12549629

    You and your boyz make good progress through the jungle. Following the river in order to avoid any major monster attacks, you have the shoota boyz take point, while you guard the rear of the battalion.As you march, you attempt to teach them how to beatbox, but either the concept or the method of how to beatbox is completely lost at them.

    Strangely, the Orks don't challenge your command as often as you might have imagined. In fact, they seem generally downtrodden. They still argue vehemently amongst themselves, but as soon as you approach, it quiets down to silence almost immediately.

    If you didn't know better, you'd say they were a little depressed that their previous leaders were slain so easily by a non-Ork.

    A few times, Jaguars performed quick strikes on a Slugga boy, dragging him off into the jungle to be eaten, but you've had no major losses.

    Setting up camp for the night, you're about to send a squad of five shoota boyz into the jungle to find something to eat. Do you accompany them?

    Roll a 1d100 with your course of action.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)21:31 No.12549635

    We'll use these rolls for moving through the jungle tomorrow, beatboxing Orks is too good to pass up.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:33 No.12549645
    rolled 65 = 65

    join them in the hunt for food, make sure the lietenuant knows that hes is in charge while you are gone, and only when you are gone
    >> One Eye 'Umie 10/23/10(Sat)21:34 No.12549660
    rolled 86 = 86

    Brilliant course of action.
    We accompany the Five, three in front, two behind... have remaining in camp set up some sort of rudimentary defense... even if it's just a lookout.

    Rollin' for DINNAH
    >conditions cadstat
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)21:44 No.12549715

    You head out in a loose formation to maximize your killing potential, leaving your second in command in charge for a short time.

    All of the Orks possess a degree of skill in hunting and tracking, and without too much work, your hunting party picks up the tracks of something big.

    Eventually, around dusk, your party silently comes upon a family of jungle boars; each one of them quite large. Giving hand signals you taught the Orks earlier, five of you form a firing line in the jungle, while the sixth (and sneakiest) Ork creeps around to the other side of the grouping of beasts.

    Shouting and firing his shootah at the boars, the Ork drives them towards your firing line, and you lay into the pigs.

    You're the only one with enough sense to be accurate and fire in bursts, but soon enough, five of the pigs lay dead, and only one managed to get away.

    You drag the pigs back to camp, where you eat your fill, and leave the Orks to divide up the rest amongst themselves. At dinnertime, they become the Orks you'd expect; violent, rambunctious, and generally unpleasantly greedy.

    You set up a night watch, and sleep.

    For the first time since your awakening in the pod, you sleep uneasily and dream, but you can't exactly remember what about.

    You awake in the morning, and have much more success teaching the Orks how to beatbox. Maybe they were just nervous, before. Anyways, the rhythm gives your mob a marching speed bonus, and you make great time, exiting the jungle just after dusk.

    That night, you camp at the edge of the great plains.

    Anything you'd like to do before retiring to bed? Teach the Orks how to fire accurately, start drilling them for tactics?

    Roll for 1d100 on the success of your actions, if any.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:45 No.12549720
    is everyone dead?
    >> One Eye 'Umie 10/23/10(Sat)21:49 No.12549750
    rolled 92 = 92

    Teach these bags of skin some combat formations, and the shootas on how to concentrate fire... make up in accuracy with sheer volume. Keep the teef/tusks of the boars for currency (if we know that).

    Once they start learning some basics, THEN we'll work on accuracy.

    Anything we can do with our current gear?
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:50 No.12549753
    rolled 43 = 43

    they need to learn how to fire accuratly of course, but to also take care of thier guns
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)21:51 No.12549766
    we have the scrap metal from the old meks killy trukk if we want some simple body armor for the boyz, making them less ded and more killy
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)21:57 No.12549790

    You teach the Orks some basic drills; how to fire together, how to fire in bursts, how to use cover. Likewise, you teach the Sluggas how to move in formation and form combat lines.

    They take to it extremely quickly, probably due to the fact the information is already subsconscious, just needs to be brought out.

    Your force of 56 Boyz are now much more organized (well, by Ork standards). You have the feeling they'd do much better in a pitched battle if the time ever comes.

    The Ork economy is already thriving, and they've taken to carving a jaguar's head with one eye over their gear as the symbol of the mob. They've already half-forgotten the Mekboy who used to run the show, and altogether they seem happier and healthier than they did in the jungle. You figure it's the strong leadership you provide.

    As for your gear, all you can really do is bend it a bit to fit you better, which you promptly do (+5 to agility!). By hand. Your strength is still increasing day by day, and you're now almost half a foot taller than you were when you exit the pod. You take this as the natural state of affairs for humans, having nothing to compare yourself to.

    Anything else you guys wanna do for the night?
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)21:58 No.12549797

    Unfortunately, you left most of the scrap metal behind at the old campsite; however, most of the Boyz copied your style in some manner or another before you left, so they're not entirely unprotected.

    You'll keep your (one) eye out for more scrap in the future however.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:00 No.12549807
    i can't think of anything
    >> One Eye 'Umie 10/23/10(Sat)22:01 No.12549813
    Get some sleep, we got some heavy leggin' ta do tomorrah.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:01 No.12549814
    good, that'll come in handy whenwe want to start making vehicles
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:05 No.12549847
    yea, lets get some sleep, lottsa killin to do!
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)22:08 No.12549872

    You tuck in for the night and tell the Boyz to do the same.

    You dream uneasily again; this time of rivers that shift and split their course at moment's notice. You notice uneasily that the rivers seem to consist of blood, and the gurgling of the brooks that divert from the main waterway sounds an awful lot like screaming. The dream ends with you unsuccessfully trying to ford a river by foot, being pulled away with the current no matter how hard you swim against it.

    You wake up in the morning before the Boyz, and rouse them all. You have no idea where this
    Warlord is at, so your solution to send small scouting parties out across the fields at regular intervals, and march the main mob directly north. The scouting parties can track well enough to find their way back to the main mob, so they won't be lost.

    You stay with the main mob, but you send your second in command directly north with the biggest scouting group.

    Roll a 1d100 for what they find, if anything.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:08 No.12549878
         File1287886127.jpg-(475 KB, 3500x2477, img001.jpg)
    475 KB
    I can't drawfag for shit, but hip-hop Orks was too good to pass up.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:09 No.12549884
    rolled 98 = 98

    >> One Eye 'Umie 10/23/10(Sat)22:16 No.12549928
    rolled 96 = 96

    Lets get some bettah tek, boyz...
    Rollin' for ancient battle tech that we can use... or some sorta robot engineer that can whip us up some top gear. Or, failing that... more orks for the cause!

    Good one!
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:17 No.12549937


    Hey, we do know how to make fire, right? If so, we need to start making torches. Like, a fuckton of them. Then maybe we can use them to burn portions of the jungle to drive the jaguars out so we can kill/skin the fuckers.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)22:21 No.12549982

    >fuck. yeah.



    Our scouting parties are pretty successful.

    Nearly all of them find something interesting.

    To the west, the scouting party brings back some looted scrap, apparently from a "metal boar". You assume that means some kind of armored vehicle, but the armor the Orks bend it into is particularly strong and light; you net yourself a suit of it (toughness bonus!), and you have them make more for your elite Choppa Squad, consisting of yourself, your Lieutenant, and handful of the biggest Sluggas. They call themselves the Green Panthers (ohohooh).

    The Orks that went north-east come back with a nothing but a flag, but it's not Orkish in design; you assume it's some kind of human heraldry. Bars of alternating blue and red on simple cloth.

    Your second in command comes with great news, he found the corpses of huge Orks bearing the Warlord's symbol, but oddly, their weapons were missing and they were all beheaded. The warlord is definitely in that direction.

    The other Orks return with a shitload of food; apparently the plains has a huge abundance of herbivoric reptilians.

    All in all, successful day. You train with your new elite Choppa squad, and the other Orks train amongst their divisions as well. You set the night watch as usual, and get ready for bed.

    Anything else you guys want to do? This is the calm before the storm.

    Roll 1d100 for any action you might take, cuz I'm like that.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:23 No.12550006
    rolled 49 = 49

    Spend the next fews days training so that we are ready for problems if they happen
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)22:23 No.12550008

    Actually, we don't have fire. In the jungle, everything is way too wet to start any kind of combustion reaction, and so far in the plains, you haven't seen anything that would burn for very long, only grass.

    If you see some kind of tree out here you'll have the Orks cut it down for fuel though.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:24 No.12550020
    rolled 84 = 84

    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:24 No.12550027

    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:27 No.12550054
    This thread is good, there's no reason to cut it back. Does seem to be dying of its own accord, though.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:29 No.12550072
    rolled 97 = 97


    Develop an ork yell/song that we sing/rap.

    Also, find the ork with the best drumming/beatboxing ability and make him designated drummer boy.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)22:32 No.12550096

    Erm. Kay.


    You begin marching north.

    Day by day, your Orks become more well-disciplined, and unlike a regular Warboss, you aren't satisfied with "somewhat" disciplined. Before long, they're fighting nearly as efficiently as you think Orks can fight.

    You continue to have unsettling dreams however, all on the common theme of getting involved in wars you don't understand.

    Finally, on the morning of the fifth day, you awaken the troops and begin to march northwards.

    You, being much taller than the other Orks, see the dustclouds of something approaching in the distance. You assume it's a Warboss raiding party, and quickly tell your Orks to form a combat line of Sluggas ahead, Shootas behind.

    Roll a 1d100 for how quickly the Orks assemble, another 1d100 for how sick your Lieutenant's warbeat is (he's become very good at it), and lastly another 1d100 for the approaching force.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:35 No.12550115
    rolled 3, 48, 73 = 124

    rollan and prayan
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:35 No.12550122
    rolled 38, 71, 49 = 158

    Rolling, pray it's a good'un.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:37 No.12550140
    It's better than the shitspam flood people were trying to post earlier today.

    "Herp, how does rape in game work", "girl in game wat do", etc.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:38 No.12550160

    To Nobylan and Mitenun, I hope.

    >MAGRADY follmok
    Our new Captcha god?
    >> One Eye 'Umie 10/23/10(Sat)22:43 No.12550211
    rolled 91, 36, 78 = 205


    Nothing strikes fear like organized Orks. Especially if they're beatboxing a storm.

    >religion anctort
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)22:44 No.12550217

    The Orks scramble into position at a snail's pace, most of them forgetting where to go in the excitement of the moment.

    "Damn it!" you shout, waving them into correct positioning. They know better than this, you think sourly. At least the Lieut's beat is pretty good today, you think. The Orks begin chanting and rapping over the beat; the effect is actually pretty menacing.

    As the armed force approaches, you realize it's not Orks at all.

    They're tiny humans, much smaller than yourself, on top of sinous six-legged panther-lizards. You see them halt in confusion; they've clearly never seen Orks that group in defensive positions, let alone divide by armament and chant war songs while doing so.

    You see that they're armored in lighter metal than the Orks, but they're also carrying some kind of shootah you're not familiar with.

    You realize the humans are preparing for an assault regardless.

    You run forwards out in front of the Orks, and get ready to...do what exactly? Even you aren't sure. Killing humans seems wrong, somehow, when you are one.

    Roll 1d100 for your choice of action.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:46 No.12550242
    rolled 16, 84, 57 = 157

    Order the ladz to hold, and ask information from the humans.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:47 No.12550249
    Balls, didn't mean to roll thrice again.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:47 No.12550250
    rolled 10 = 10

    humans ain't done shit! these are OUR orks, ATTACK!
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:48 No.12550251
    rolled 8 = 8


    Slowly start yelling, increasing in volume as we raise our choppa hand. As our arm is completely raised, we suddenly drop it, pointing towards the humans. At this point we unleash a roar, and cry 'ATTACK!'

    What follows seems rather self explanatory.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:49 No.12550265
    rolled 24 = 24

    destroy the puny humans
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)22:49 No.12550266
    I'll wait for further discussion, this is kind of a big deal.

    I'm seeing one vote hold, two votes to attack (and attack poorly, I might add, lol).
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:50 No.12550286
    rolled 29 = 29

    for gork and mork!
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:51 No.12550288
    I wonder if any of the panther lizards are big enuff for orks...
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:51 No.12550289

    We're leading Orkz. Why should we hold?

    But assuming we should, we should yell at them in our super loud voice, 'HEY, YOU. LITTLE FUCKERS. GET OVER HERE AND JOIN US IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE EATEN.'
    >> One Eye 'Umie 10/23/10(Sat)22:51 No.12550295
    rolled 64, 14, 60 = 138

    "Lay down a storm of metal on em, boyz! Advance until Green Panthers can close to melee! AN' DON'T DROP MY BEAT, OR I SWEAR I'LL GUT THE LOT OF YE!"

    You spineless gits ain't fit ta rock wit da Green Panthers!
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:51 No.12550297
    rolled 98 = 98

    Given that we are ostensibly human, and that the warband of Orks was a means to an end, we should try to negotiate with the humans.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:52 No.12550304
    rolled 70 = 70

    I don't know man i like killing things.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)22:54 No.12550320
    Whatever we do, can we use this guy's roll?
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)23:00 No.12550374
    One last bump and I'm off to bed- way to let me have an early night, /tg/, it's fucking 4am.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)23:00 No.12550377
    rolled 31 = 31

    we should kill all the humans
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)23:01 No.12550389
    Whatever happened to that first Ork with no arms?
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)23:02 No.12550398

    >tried to warn ya...

    You can't risk giving the humans the first strike and crippling your Boyz. Charging forward, you raise your Shoota and begin firing at the mounted humans, unleashing a sonic roar.

    The Boyz follow suit, Sluggas sprinting after you, and Shootas firing wildly just behind. Any semblance of discipline they may have shown prior to this was lost as you charged the humans personally, they're in complete frenzy mode.

    The humans, who number about 50, charge in return, their shouting much quieter and generally not as frightening.

    The first volley of Ork bullets strikes the humans, felling a handful of the their first line, but generally doing very little damage.

    You have a split-second vision of the future, of the human returning fire with impossibly powerful beams of light, fired from their strange shootas. You realize with dread they're armed with lasguns rather than projectile weaponry, something you were NOT expecting.

    IN your vision, your heart is being pierced by said lasfire, and so you throw yourself onto the ground just before the humans open fire.

    The charged lasgun shots are powerful; they cut through your Boyz like butter, dropping a third of your forces in the first volley alone. The Boyz volley back with much less volume; and after the humans return fire once more, the Boyz don't fire back at all.

    You peer up from your grounded position to see their lizard panthers leap out, claws extended, to gore Sluggas, as their riders kill another Boy with their terrible guns.

    All too quickly, every last Boy is either wounded or dead.

    One of the lizard-panthers makes the mistake of choosing you to eat next, it leaps at you and you have only a split-second to respond.

    What do you do? Roll a 1d100 and give a course of action.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)23:05 No.12550426
    Oh, you poor fa/tg/uys, how I tried to tell you killing wasn't the answer.

    You might have actually won this battle had you rolled better, actually. Then you and your Boyz would have had some fucking sweet guns to use against the Warlord.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)23:06 No.12550434
    rolled 85 = 85

    Fucking god dammit, I rolled 98 to negotiate!
    Regardless, roll under the bastard, give him a good whack in the chest. Stand up, and raise my hands- I don't wanna take them all on.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)23:07 No.12550441

    He's probably dead. He came back out with the Orks as we left the camp, probably due to his complete terror of us. He wouldn't have lived too long armless and alone in that jungle though.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)23:07 No.12550445

    Well, now we get to ass rape a lizard panther and lead some 'umies instead.

    We're still going to teach them beatboxing.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)23:08 No.12550454
    rolled 88 = 88

    Aww, we got no Painboyz? One of them woulda fixed him up, Orks can survive anything up to a head transplant.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)23:11 No.12550479
         File1287889899.png-(171 KB, 450x422, Saxton_crocodile_punch.png)
    171 KB
    rolled 34 = 34

    When I said a good whack, I meant punch out his spine like Saxton fucking Hale.
    >> One Eye 'Umie 10/23/10(Sat)23:11 No.12550481
    rolled 30 = 30

    Stab that fucker up through the bottom of the jaw into it's brain.

    Stand up and yell, "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!"

    Maybe their confusion lasts long enough for us to escape... things look bad. Description was way lower than their damage potential.

    I don't think we can withstand lasgun fire, and they probably will kill us. Although as a 'human' I guess we might have some lienancy and they could go through the mistake of taking us through a 'trial'... that's when we escape.

    Kill lizard, then stand down and negotiate/delay... for now.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)23:13 No.12550493

    >yeah, I know, I was hoping you guys would majority vote to negotiate as well, you're not going to like this next part too much.

    Quickly rolling to your feet, you punch the reptile-cat behind the eyes, knocking it out cold.

    Quickly dropping your weapons, you loudly and clearly state, "Don't shoot! I am not an Ork."

    The humans all aim at you with their rifles.

    "I surrender peacefully. Please allow me to speak with your leader."

    You pray to Mork that they speak the Ork language, it's the only one you know.

    Roll 1d100 for how the humans react to your surrender.
    >> One Eye 'Umie 10/23/10(Sat)23:14 No.12550498
    Totally said they were preparing for an assault and looking to attack. Also: what kind of ork would NOT shoot at a human, even if told by a superior?

    Kind of a lose/lose situation if you ask me... that and apparently the rolls were dismal enough for our entire frakking army to be destroyed.
    >disraw personal
    >> Poor DM 10/23/10(Sat)23:16 No.12550512

    The lizard panther crashes down upon you bearing you to the ground with it's weight and the force of it's charge. Snapping jaws fleck your face with foam as the beast's talons sink deep into your green flesh, drawing trickles of crimson from each needle like puncture.

    A mixture of desperation and exaltation washes over you, the loss of your boyz has left you deeply shaken and you can feel your resolve slipping even as you fight to keep the lizard panther's cock from penetrating deep inside you. A cruel rake of it's claws draws yet more blood from your shoulder and a moan of ecstasy from your lips, the monster's sadism excites you orgasmically and soon your cock squig rises to match the creature's girth.

    The violence of your tussle remains unabated even as you and the lizard panther are soon locked in a passionate embrace of eachother's genitals, sucking and throating it's leathery dick for all your worth you try to suppress your own premature ejaculation.

    But you're fighting a losing battle, before you can finish your opponent off you let loose a sloppy stream of squig seed all over the lizard panther's face and with each delicious shudder you fall deeper into a defeated remission.
    >> One Eye 'Umie 10/23/10(Sat)23:16 No.12550521
    rolled 16 = 16

    Rollin' Diplomacy... as an Ork Warboss. This is stupid.

    I guess recount how you came to the planet. Sphere ball and all. Try and invoke tears: I never knew my parents!
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)23:17 No.12550525

    lol, wouldn't be /tg/ if there wasn't erotic literature about a quest, I guess.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)23:18 No.12550531
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)23:18 No.12550532

    Dude, we're not an Ork at all.
    >> One Eye 'Umie 10/23/10(Sat)23:19 No.12550539
    rolled 85 = 85

    Fail troll is fail... and butchered by One Eye. Get out.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)23:26 No.12550605
         File1287890778.jpg-(8 KB, 400x259, Picard.jpg)
    8 KB
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)23:26 No.12550610

    "Prove it."

    A man on a lizard-panther rides forward a bit, keeping his lasrifle aimed at your face.

    It's a reasonable request, you think.

    You slowly remove your armor, revealing yourself to be eight feet tall, missing an eye, with a badly scarred face, yes, but definitely closer to human than Ork.

    When the commander catchs a glimpse at your Jaguar necklace though, his eyes bulge.

    "Who are you?!" he gasps.

    You, of course, have no idea.

    "The Orks called me One-Eye. I have no other name."

    This seems to make a huge impression on the other human soldiers, they begin to murmur amongst themselves.

    "Tie him up. We're bringing him back to Lord Axahatl."

    The soldiers comply, tying your hands with laughably weak cord; you could break your bonds by sneezing, and tying the other end to one of the pantherlizards.

    The men begin marching back the way they came, you half-walking half-jogging to keep up.

    Well, I've been running this quest for almost nine hours now. Time to end today's session. Does anyone want to put this on sup/tg/, I have no idea how.

    I'll stick around to answer any questions you might have, as well.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)23:28 No.12550630

    What's the name of our Quest, good DM?
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)23:30 No.12550649

    Jaguar Quest! It's a pretty good name for what I have in mind.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)23:40 No.12550755

    Jaguar Quest it is, then.

    I'll go stick this up on suptg then.
    >> PoorDM 10/23/10(Sat)23:43 No.12550783

    Sounds good, thank you kindly, sir.

    Hopefully, next week we'll have slightly more participation.
    >> Anonymous 10/23/10(Sat)23:45 No.12550796

    Thread is now archived.

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