Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??

  • File : 1288228365.jpg-(138 KB, 470x586, starwars-art2.jpg)
    138 KB Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:12 No.12593988  
    Said it could not be done. Said it was improbable. That a digital signal would ever reach an alien race. And the probablity of said alien race picking up digital signal and processing it into something they understand and view.

    But it happened. 500 lightyears away, this conglomeration known as the Galactic Council received a signal that shaped their understanding of the galaxy. It was a message from us, but it was not a form of greeting no. It was not a call for exhancge of technology, it was not a declaration of peace. The very first thing this council saw was the beginning of the Space Battle for Endor in Return of the Jedi, as some Saturday Star Wars marathon. That was when 40 different races got introduced to humanity.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:14 No.12593999
    This isn't some Humanity Fuck Yeah thread is it?
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:14 No.12594004

    >Ewoks killing stormtroopers is how Humanity is introduced to the rest of the galaxy

    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:19 No.12594052
    It is gonna be hell trying to explain lightsabers
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:24 No.12594109
    500 lightyears = 500 years in the future
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:25 No.12594114
    I think that 500 years from now we should be good for taking on whatever civilization feels threatened by the shit in Star Wars.

    If we put our backs into it, we could totally blow up a planet right fucking now.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:26 No.12594131
    It's really, really difficult to destroy a planet. We only really have the capacity to destroy ourselves and large parts of the ecosystem.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:27 No.12594133

    So... Like the "Galactic bermuda triangle" thread, humans turn into the trolls/boogeymen of the galaxy?

    Dibs on our ambassadors all doing Darth Vader cosplay.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:27 No.12594138
    >If we put our backs into it, we could totally blow up a planet right fucking now.

    No. Not even close.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:27 No.12594143
    It is now, BITCH.

    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:29 No.12594157
    A few hundred nukes, correctly spaced, would probably be enough to dissipate or at least seriously distort Jupiter.

    As to a non-gaseous planet, drill + nukes should do the trick.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:30 No.12594165
    >As to a non-gaseous planet, drill + nukes should do the trick.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:30 No.12594171

    Not even a small one? Damn.

    Well, let's start with a moon and work our way up. Who wants to see a couple of Jupiter's moons asplode?
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:31 No.12594182

    I'm not quite sure you correctly comprehend the sheer scale of Jupiter.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:31 No.12594186
    >A few hundred nukes, correctly spaced, would probably be enough to dissipate or at least seriously distort Jupiter.


    >This impact created a giant dark spot over 12,000 km across, and was estimated to have released an energy equivalent to 6,000,000 megatons of TNT (600 times the world's nuclear arsenal)
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:32 No.12594191
    I'd rather just tap Io for power and resources to be honest.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:33 No.12594200
    Considering the nature of the internet, I shouldn't be as surprised as I am that someone compiled a detailed report on what would be required to destroy the Earth.

    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:33 No.12594205
    thanks to idiocy another HFY averted
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:34 No.12594213
         File1288229670.jpg-(724 KB, 790x2200, 1227380874197.jpg)
    724 KB
    Not to mention the fact that no piece of human technology can withstand the incredible pressure and temperature of Jupiter's inner regions.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:35 No.12594231
    There are multiple. That's one of the less detailed ones. But you can see it's a lot of work.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:37 No.12594244
    This is probably a stupid question but do planets or other accretionary forms in space always produce rough spheres? Why is that?
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:37 No.12594249

    Well the Galilean moons are cool, they can stay. The shitty little Inner-group moons can be good target practice, though.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:38 No.12594259
         File1288229919.jpg-(516 KB, 424x550, 1287798010142.jpg)
    516 KB
    Gravity contracts the matter into a spherical shape.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:38 No.12594260
    They do if the gravity is strong enough (i.e. it has enough mass). As to why, gravity pulls it together into that form.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:39 No.12594268
    Mutual gravitational pull between parts and a crazy metric fuckton of time.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:39 No.12594274
    "So what happened to all those other races, the wookies, the Gungans, and Ewoks?"


    captcha: expletive delete
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:39 No.12594276
    Thanks bros.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:40 No.12594277
         File1288230005.png-(84 KB, 800x500, 800px-Sun_and_VY_Canis_Majoris(...).png)
    84 KB
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:40 No.12594285
    In much the same way that no piece of /tg/ dick can withstand the incredible pressure and temperature of an actual woman's nether regions!
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:41 No.12594299

    They naturally form oblate spheroids due to centripedal force.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:44 No.12594326
    They are all cool. Io is crazy geology and the others may harbour life in their underground/frozen over oceans.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:45 No.12594332
         File1288230323.jpg-(28 KB, 400x400, death vader.jpg)
    28 KB
    I am the mighty Death vader! Fear me!
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:46 No.12594352
    The first thing that popped into my head on seeing that picture was Darth Vader fucking Megatron's vagina.

    Fucking 4chan...
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:48 No.12594360
    From the thumbnail, I thought this was a space marine Vader. Instantly began imagining him as a lost primarch and what his chapter would be like.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:49 No.12594374
         File1288230547.jpg-(31 KB, 314x500, stormtrooper_authentic.jpg)
    31 KB
    >what his chapter would be like
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:49 No.12594377
    >his chapter
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)21:56 No.12594451
    sage for 40kids
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)22:07 No.12594573
         File1288231667.jpg-(65 KB, 425x450, 1276670688992.jpg)
    65 KB
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)22:09 No.12594603
    At first I thought this was gonna be fresh HFY material. Now I have no clue what is going on/.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)22:26 No.12594746
    His chapter would be BS3, useless armour, no hand to hand, and laser guns.

    His chapter are the Imperial Guard.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)22:37 No.12594877
    wasn't there a HFY bit about this?
    Humans were the bogeymen of the universe. Always put on a big show for the other species about being terrible beasts while wearing trollfaces under their helmets
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)22:39 No.12594898
    Yes, Veil of Madness. Only in this one, Aliens see star wars and are confused why all real humans are not like the Empire.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:16 No.12595233
    The room was quiet as Brother Kristam addressed his colleague. "You have viewed the archive?"

    "Yes," said Brother Stens, "I have." His mouthparts scraped together, signaling his anxiety to the others. "It was... unbelievable."

    "Indeed," Brother Myvnae echoed, "To think that such things could be built-" he inhaled abruptly, "I am most perturbed."

    Process viewed them both with indignation, its main lenses glinting with laughter. "You overreact. The station was easily destroyed by small craft. The fleet defending it was a far greater threat, all things considered."

    "But the shield generator-" began Brother Kristam.

    "Was also destroyed!" Process vocalized, manifolds purring, "And by infantry, besides! The whole system was impossibly poorly-designed."

    "But what of the weapon!" Brother Untiel called out, robes fluttering as he hauled his massive bulk out of his grav-seat, "That station, poorly-designed or not, certainly had more firepower than any of our fleets could boast. Or wouldn't you agree, mechanical?"

    Process bristled at the remark, main coil heating with rage. It hissed steam as it replied, "Its weaknesses are obvious. Equivalent firepower would not be required to defeat it. A fact which is particularly clear in the archive. Biological."
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:17 No.12595246
    "-Now see here!" Untiel roared, furiously mashing his seat's controls, urging it forward- only to stop abruptly at a mere gesture from the being at the center of the room.

    "The archive is 681 cycles old at the youngest," the Coordinator observed, her voice resonating throughout the chamber. She cooed briefly at Untiel's chair, and it returned to its previous position. Her eyes swept the room. "We cannot ignore this. Regardless of whether we consider the represented technology a threat," she glanced at Process, "We must consider the passage of time. The depicted races may have destroyed themselves. They may have stagnated. They may be preparing a fleet such as we cannot comprehend, even now. We cannot know, unless we endeavor to find out."

    Once more, she looked about the council's meeting place, receiving the acknowledgment of all present. "We are in agreement, then. The scouts will be sent immediately. We will decide on further action within the next three rotations. Brother Epolis, please signal CentCom and relay the order."

    Scout Division 21 emerged from hyper in the Sol system 500 years and 6 months after the original broadcast date. What did they find?
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:27 No.12595320

    They find earth destroyed by an enormous meteor, and the remains of human astronauts on the moon who, in one last gasp of defiance, had carved the image of an enormous phallus into the surface of it's now-free moon.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:28 No.12595335
    I remember that comic.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:31 No.12595352
         File1288236660.jpg-(148 KB, 800x664, 1265077826731.jpg)
    148 KB
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:34 No.12595376
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:34 No.12595377
    Normal acroplies and mega cities on earth and mars, large parts of the former growing dangerously toxic and larger parts of the later terraformed to be livable on. Smaller colonies on the moons of Jupiter- the largest of these being Titan- and spread throughout the asteroid belt
    No FTL speed, but capable of instant communication through quantum entanglment
    No one world government, but many states have merged together with corporations.
    Genetic experiments were all the rage some two hundred years ago, so there is a small minority of the human population radically altered in whatever ways you find would be the most entertaining or dramatic
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:37 No.12595406
    FUCK YES! Writefaggotry!
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:38 No.12595418
         File1288237117.jpg-(44 KB, 326x475, galaxyquest.jpg)
    44 KB
    been watching this recently OP?
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:41 No.12595446
    Surprisingly no. When it came out I was still living with my parents who were hardasses and believed any from of sci-fi would damn me forever to a life of nerd-dom and fail. Eventually by the time I moved out I forgot this even existed. Thanks for reminding me.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:44 No.12595465

    Watch it, and feel the love.

    Also Tim Allen x Snape FTW.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:48 No.12595484
    >Genetic experiments were all the rage some two hundred years ago, so there is a small minority of the human population radically altered in whatever ways you find would be the most entertaining or dramatic

    There will be people with tentacles, multiple dongs, and other odd sex-related mutations. A few of the tenta-men can probably be found working in manufacturing, where their dexterity aids in fine manipulation. Also SeaWorld, in whatever form it exists.

    Then you have the standard super-soldier set. Enhance eyesight, musculature, endurance, etc. Basically, there will be people who are the "realistic" equivalent of Space Marines, people who can literally run at 30mph forever if they have food and water, and guys who can track a speck of dust over the horizon.

    Then you have those adapted to a specific lifestyle. Low-grav-specialized crewmen who are abnormally thin, with an altered circulatory system and perhaps an internal gyroscope or something similar (anything over 0.5g or so will crush them). Scientists with enhanced brains, perhaps bonded to technological items, customer service reps with hardwired pleasure centers that keep them happy all the time, pretty much every trope you can think of.

    Then you have genetic alteration applied to things other than humans. 8-pound janitor slugs that exude detergent mucus, for example.
    >> Scarecrow !!h+wqocKqMmA 10/27/10(Wed)23:50 No.12595503
         File1288237823.jpg-(2.45 MB, 3648x2736, vaderquisitor.jpg)
    2.45 MB

    Like this?
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:52 No.12595520
    >8-pound janitor slugs that exude detergent mucus, for example.
    Someone must make this.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:52 No.12595521
    Thin your paints and we will rule the galaxy as mini and son.
    >> Scarecrow !!h+wqocKqMmA 10/27/10(Wed)23:55 No.12595538

    Not my work, just passing the pic on.
    >> Anonymous 10/27/10(Wed)23:59 No.12595575
         File1288238392.jpg-(24 KB, 350x350, awesome seal.jpg)
    24 KB
    >8-pound janitor slugs that exude detergent mucus
    Awesome has been achieved.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:02 No.12595594
    And the aliens shall descend asking, "Where's the ewoks? Where's the Chewbacca wookie?"

    And humanity, thanks to preserving human minds indefinitely will know exactly what they are talking about, thanks to George Lucas's remake upon remake upon remake of Star Wars. But what will humanity tell these naive aliens who are so fearful of the Death Star and light sabers?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:04 No.12595612
    Humanity will offer the aliens a box of slugs in order to buy time for the gene-engineers, who will then reproduce, in exacting detail, both wookies and ewoks.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:04 No.12595613
    Whether or not this stuff will even be possible is a huge deal. It will probably end up being easier to technologically modify someone than genetically modifying them.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:06 No.12595632
    Considering that the scenario starts with a council composed of 40 alien species receiving a 500-year-old broadcast of the Battle of Endor, I'm not too worried about realism.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:07 No.12595640
    I thouht we were moving to a more general gene engineering discussion. Forgive me.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:12 No.12595667
    But genetics aside, what of the other tech? The Death Star, the laser guns, the Millenium Falcon?
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:12 No.12595668
    You know what? Let's do that.

    What's easy depends on your means and your environment. If you need the self-repair capabilities of biological hardware more than you need the durability of metals and polymers, a genetic alteration might be more desirable. If you happen to live in a commune of cyberneticists and just lost your arm to a manufacturing press, hey, forget reattachment and fuck regen. Get a robo-limb.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:13 No.12595674
    Never happened, sorry about that.
    Here have a t-shirt!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:17 No.12595716
    I more mean that's it is probably plausible that we will ultimately be able to design and implant an awesome cybernetic arm. It's decidedly less plausible we'll be able to turn your existing arm into a biological superthing.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:18 No.12595721
    The Death Star is a big, mobile battlestation with a giant laser that can destroy planets. Now, if you chain enough fusion reactors together you can do some pretty impressive things, but there's really no reason for humanity to need a planet-destroyer if there's no FTL yet, and all there is is lonely old Sol. Massive orbital manufacturing or hab complexes would be more likely, but obviously not as big or menacing.

    Laser guns you can have, as long as you've got the battery, capacitor, or generator to feed one while remaining portable. Maybe miniaturization will advance to the point where you can have your own personal blaster pistol. Plausible.

    The Falcon? Yes, there will be space freighters. But they probably won't look like that. A series of enormous crates with engines on one end and a cockpit on the other would be more cost-efficient, probably.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:18 No.12595725
    No. Then we show them the digitally enhanced, Greedo-shot-first edition.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:20 No.12595740
         File1288239654.jpg-(96 KB, 801x597, 2d0a1f8db2bad574f7f3f680856dd0(...).jpg)
    96 KB

    Oh shit nigger, what are you doing?

    >mav coligard
    I'm trying, captcha!
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:24 No.12595761
    Well, that depends on whether we're talking only about genetics or about biological manipulation in general. With the appropriate anti-rejection measures and the appropriate plumbing considerations (perhaps requiring an extra organ for filtering), you could graft a live weasel to your chest and get on fine. As far as genemods go, it's much easier to do your cutting well before birth. Retroviral engineering is a promising field, but it's quite a complicated thing to mess with the DNA of an adult human.

    When you come down to it, though, all you have to do is program batches of cells to do something other than what they'd normally do. After that, assuming everything goes okay, you can just wait for your new crab-claw ultra arm to grow in. No need for any manufacturing or assembly.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:40 No.12595877
    Long story short we turn a galactic civilization into the largest gathering of nerds and wannabe Jedis you ever did see
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:41 No.12595885
    It is our calling as a species.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:51 No.12595960
    Oh god. Imagine it. A following of countless races all fawning over George Lucas. He will become the God of the Jedi faith.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)00:51 No.12595966
         File1288241474.jpg-(306 KB, 801x597, ohshitnigger.jpg)
    306 KB

    It had to be done.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)01:30 No.12596318
    Meanwhile, humans have grown to resemble the Federation in Star Trek.

    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)07:36 No.12598302
    bump for bumping

    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)08:48 No.12598634

    600 years and no extra solar colonies? no ftl?
    yo suck man

    tell me there is EVE capsuleers and Eclipse Phase style immortality...
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)11:31 No.12599579
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)11:54 No.12599754
    But we could have a massive, spherical space station that is jokingly called the 'Death Star'.

    Imagine their faces when they see that shit.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)12:55 No.12600307
    They arrive to ...
    the city.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)12:58 No.12600339
    >you could graft a live weasel to your chest and get on fine.

    A Spice Weasel? *BAM*
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)17:45 No.12602999
    they arrive to a Eclipse phase alternate universe , where the Fall never happened and the singularity continued for half a millennium....

    That or GiTS for half a millennium.

    After some thought , if we combine these two, we get EVE online story beginning- Earth with the jump gates and Jove level of tech fuckery and ' for the lulz' coupled with insatiable corporate greed ( Wayland Yutani, Umbrela, Black Mesa, etc...)
    There will be body moding and ungodly fire-power abound
    >> -|- Reichsguard -|- !!Q3opPDaKzPo 10/28/10(Thu)18:17 No.12603279
    "How large is that new Death Star again?"
    "Almost 1.8 billion kilometers of diameter in some places, sir"
    "May the gods preserve us
    "What is it?"
    "We... we have reports the construction is still going on"
    >> Trooper Zanaso 10/28/10(Thu)19:45 No.12604066
         File1288309534.jpg-(88 KB, 400x273, britai.jpg)
    88 KB
    Go watch robotech. The Zentrati saw a kung fu movie, and thought that humans, or at least the one showed, possessed super strength, and lazers from his fingertips. One of the funniest moments of the show. And old robotech, not the new japanese crap that came out.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)19:49 No.12604102
    >And old robotech, not the new japanese crap that came out.

    Thats when Anime was just cartoons from Japan instead of "Anime"
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)20:22 No.12604428
    Need a writefag on this,

    or that old one were humans are the precursors, and they blow a fleet up for contacting and interrupting some simulation
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)20:33 No.12604529
    Or they make contact with a Star Wars convention, but with the level of technology the blasters actually work and the astromech droids really can take over a ship's computer.

    Or the alien scout happens upon a Star Wars LARP and the players don't realize that it's a real alien and not an NPC.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)20:37 No.12604557
    You now realize that due to natural cosmic background radiation and other extra-atmospheric interferences, media-broadcast signals dissipate after just a (relatively) few lightyears, and even an "aimed" broadcast like the Arecibo Message will never hi the targets they were pointed at due to general stellar motion-shifting.

    TLDR: Aliens will never know we're here based on old TV broadcasts.
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)20:38 No.12604567
    Make that both into one. Humans have gone so hig end with tech, that all the is depicted in Star Wars is like steampunk or other such nonsense and can be simulated with modern tech, but the modern tech gets heavily nerfed to operate at those depicted levels. Think Empire stem tank vs Leopard II.

    So, Aliens stumble uppon a StarWars LARP with functioning tech and safety precautions for the PC's and are mistook for NPC's .... glorious. Combine that with capsuleer style mind download in case of death and you have a very trigger happy bunch...

    This needs Writefag so bad....
    >> Anonymous 10/28/10(Thu)23:25 No.12606450
         File1288322739.jpg-(252 KB, 1024x768, 1265431021221.jpg)
    252 KB
    "Ahh yes, The 'Death Star' The Battlestation that can allegedly destroy a planet with a single shot. We have dismissed this claim."
    >> Anonymous 10/29/10(Fri)01:42 No.12607932
    writefag assemble thyselves
    >> Anonymous 10/29/10(Fri)01:55 No.12608028
    Star Wars LARP complete with an Imperial Star Destroyer?
    >> Anonymous 10/29/10(Fri)02:05 No.12608131
    I will not complain to any wonky idea as long as someone does a writefaggotry....

    It's just ....

    Analogue, think of the aliens in 'Road not taken' with a more developed society and culture, aka space opera USA, while human culture( or transhuman/posthuman/whatever suits your fancy) thinks it would be fun to LARP with ships that can go BDZ at any time. Of course in lifeless rocks and stuff. That would go somewhere like the Idea of Apes and Angels , only we'd be nigh the high end, up to angel(or deamon if you prefer) with all the thinking and posh attitude ascended beings have.

    Let the aliens go al (insert name here) fuck yeah!
    while humanity has gone through so many singularities they consider all the squabbling and squirming in the galaxy a zoo at best and a playground with already set up NPC's...

    >askuncon attache
    yes capcha , every powerbloc will want a human wandering about just to be safe they are not the target of the next game of Drowtales...

    Delete Post [File Only]
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]