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  • File : 1288825877.jpg-(153 KB, 600x450, stoner.jpg)
    153 KB Oscar The Stoner Ruins More Shitty RPG's Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:11 No.12669503  
    Inspired by http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/2225740/

    So, about two months ago, when I first saw this I laughed my ass off. I spent a good hour literally re-reading this thread and specific posts, simply because of how amusing I found it. (It was fairly late at night, and I tend to get very easily humoured at that time, but I digress)

    Then, a week later, I started searching out old forums I used to frequent while young as per the suggestion of another thread. I do not say this lightly, I fucking hate young me. I was an illiterate cunt with loose morals and what appears to be a sense of humour derived from the creators of FATAL.

    And then I found the RPG games on them.

    Suddenly, my nostalgic interest in those forums was reignited, and my love of Oscar and it melded together to form a wonderful vision.
    I would roleplay him, as much as possible, until the games were all killed.

    These are my stories.

    (Also, feel free to post your own, similar ruining shitty RPG stories)
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:12 No.12669513
    The first game was set in the world of Deathnote, Tokyo, Japan.
    It was immediately after L's death, and everyone was pretending to be various detectives bent on capturing Kira or fangirls trying to fuck him senseless.
    The three most prominent characters were:
    GM - Kira himself, Light yagami. A fairly good rp'er, decent spelling and grammar, able to settle disputes between players, but with two horrible flaws. They were a yaoi fangirl who shipped Light and Ryuk, his Death god partner, and they randomly killed off people for no reason besides enjoying it.
    Z.Z - A secret apprentice to L, the fourth smartest person in the world and the one whom he truly thought of as his Heir. An ex of Matt, horrible mary-sue, chaotic-stupid anti-social asshole with, apparently, a near indecipherable gender due to their androgyny and penchant for jeans and baggy hoodies.
    Rika Hanabe - Misa's cousin, obsessed Light follower, possessed her own Shinigami eyes and was trying to find Kira because he killed her ex-boyfriend, which somehow made her fall in love with him. Horrific spelling, terrible grammar and no understanding of how a penis worked.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:14 No.12669531

    >no understanding of how a penis worked.

    I dont know why I laughed as hard as I did, but there you have it.
    Continue sir.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:15 No.12669537
    So then, my Oscar's backstory was as follows; A mysterious man who appears to be in his mid twenties, has a penchant for wearing sandals, threadbare jeans, ironic T-Shirts and matching wristbands. He has day old stubble constantly, a lip piercing, a lanky build, long and greasy hair and woke up approximately one week ago in Tokyo Airport with naught but his bong, ten kilos of weed in a suitcase, a small amount of chewing gum stuck to the sole of his sandal and a sore head.
    He's recently managed to 'procure' the apartment of one of Kira's many victims.
    From that point on, Oscar (or as other's called him,'That guy') would spend most of his days sitting in his apartment lighting up his bong, watching day-time television, sleeping on his couch or taking brisk walks through the city where other important events were going on, which he would watch while swaying gently back and forth.
    Three times Kira tried to discover my name by sending Misa or Rika into my den to find my true name, but each time they were defeated quite quickly as I would simply offer them a puff or two of a joint or my signature bong, before they would promptly forget the next several hours of debating what time of day the sun looks smuggest, if a bear could get depressed, and sweaty, dirty sex that ended in Oscar ejaculating prematurely.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:15 No.12669543
    Eventually, the majority of the cast gave up their search for Kira and would spend their days in the company of the stoned foreigner while getting as high as a kite. We ended up pulling a lot of silly shit, including Z.Z attempting to toss a mini-fridge fifty feet into the air and breaking their legs, and the GM tried to 'fix' game by making an Aeroplane passing by overhead crash into the apartment complex by killing the pilot.
    She gleefully described the deaths of every major character inside the building at the time, aside from Oscar himself, who merely sat their on the couch, unable to differentiate the massive amounts of fume from the joints and his bong generated over the weeks from the smoke of the fire, and too high to care about the bodies, as the fire slowly surrounded him.
    My response was to have him wake up, and realise it allhad just been a really fucking bad trip before he, in agonizingly large amounts of detail, eat a tin of beans for lunch.
    The GM ragequit soon after.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:20 No.12669614
    please post the bean eating porn for our enjoyment.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:20 No.12669616
    The second RPG took place in, would you believe it, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.
    It was fairly small, with the main cast of Friends and Mac, Franky and Madame Foster the only characters so I introduced myself as a new friend, with the backstory of; A new friend to the house with the creative name of Oscar who appears to be a human male in their mid twenties, with a penchant for wearing sandals, threadbare jeans, ironic T-Shirts and matching wristbands. He has day old stubble constantly, a lip piercing, a lanky build, long and greasy hair and woke up approximately one week ago in the foyer after apparently getting into an argument with Herriman about clocks, with naught but his happy pipe, ten kilos of happy grass in a suitcase, a small amount of chewing gum stuck to the sole of his sandal and a sore head.

    (I put up only a token effort to hide his drug abuse)

    This is what happened, in two in-game days;
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:21 No.12669633
    Just as soon as the next two stories are finished, as soon as I manage to re-edit and trim them down them because ohmyfuckinggod this board has a tiny field text size and I don't want to draw them out.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:22 No.12669640

    Seconded. The bean-eating sounds hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:24 No.12669665
    Awesome, I have to go out for a few hour but hopefully the thread will still be active and I can enjoy the bean, maybe even eat some at the same time.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:27 No.12669708
    I showed up at the house and immediately spent two hours in the arcade, twirling my ship around in a game of Asteroids while firing to make the pretty shapes appear, and, like, divide into -smaller shapes-
    While there, he got into an argument with Bloo, who had been waiting the entire time to play while belittling him, his appearance, his smell, the smell of the things he touched, and his score.
    So, obviously heartbroken by the bullying, I had Oscar break down in tears where he stood before he curled up into the foetal position and began alternating between sucking his thumb and his happy pipe.
    Franky showed up, horrible spelling and grammar in tow, and tried to comfort him while calling Bloo an "Anoying moterfucker", I shit you not.
    So, the teenage girl carefully lifted the grown man up before taking him to his new room, where she began t try and soothe him. Unfortunately, as his bong was the only thing he was clutching at the time, his happy grass was left behind in the Arcade, to be found by CoCo. But that part comes later.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:33 No.12669783

    That Bloo actually sounded in character, at least.

    Why do I think Stands would mesh perfectly with Foster's? Like Jotaro and Dio are quarrelling because their children Giorno and Joylene are playing together and dang it, they don't want none of that so they use their imaginary friends/Stands to roughhouse each other?

    Man, if you don't add Batman, some crossovers are just plain weird.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:36 No.12669830
    Upon taking him to his room, Oscar refused to allow Franky to leave as "She smelled like cinnamon" and he had taken a shine to her. He was so enamoured that he offered her a short go with his pipe, which she begrudgingly accepted. Twenty minutes of awkward cyber sex later, and more than a little crying at his premature ejaculation, Oscar ran out of the room pants-less, leaving the high and horny Franky on the bed naked for Mac to find, before more sex occured.
    While naked!Oscar made Edwardo rampage around the building crying and Franky acted on her latent "pedaphilic" urges, CoCo was in the dining room with cheese, consuming large quantities of Happy Grass and generally acting like a high, mentally unstable person should by seeing how well wallpaper burned when cut with a butter knife heated by candles.
    Heriman was nearly having a heart-attack chasing Oscar around the building, trying desperately to figure out what his "Cinnamon kitty" was and why he was so upset over soiling it, before being grabbed by him as he began to tumble down the stairs, crushing Madame foster at the end.
    Wilt, in all his helpful glory, chose this moment to inform everyone the house was burning down and that he could not find Coco, but Cheese was claiming she was returning to her home planet.
    So it was that a crippled Madame foster, tired Herriman, Naked Stoner, Sobbing Edwuardo, and very embarrased/happy Franky/Mac came running out of the building in time to watch CoCo furiously dry humping the Cockerel on top of the burning mansion's wind-vein.
    And then things got weird.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:41 No.12669875
    >Then things got weird.

    Well, I'm bracing for some ridiculous shit to happen.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:41 No.12669877
    And then things got weird.

    You mean then things got even weirder?

    Sounds good to me, please continue. I almost pissed myself from laughter.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:42 No.12669890
    It's a bad sign when that is followed by "and THEN things got weird."

    It implies some serious shit. You've got a lot to live up to. I'm still expecting to be blown away.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:42 No.12669897
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    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:42 No.12669898
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    >And then things got weird.
    wait, so we just read all of that, and only NOW does it get WEIRD?!
    Holy fuck.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:43 No.12669907
    Oscar is my go-to character when I find terribad roleplaying forums. He just works too well. It's so simple!
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:46 No.12669934
    Wilt, now apparently fifty feet taller, reached up to the top of the mansion to drag the confused abomination down to the ground, before organizing a motel room for the night for all the friends outside. (I never did find out what happened to those within, and Bloo ragequited along with Heriman at this stage.......)
    The night was sent between Madame Foster gaining cyborg legs, CoCo and Cheese showing Edwuardo the wonders of happy grass and ocular masturbation, Wilt sleeping soundly, Mac hitting on a devestated Franky, and Oscar sleeping outside in the backseat of the car as no-one felt like paying for his room, even though they'd stolen his stuff, goddammit.
    We proceeded to go on a road trip to Mexico upon the suggestion of Edwuardo, as it was potato season and he wished to return to his homeland, before we ended up travelling somehow through Canada along the way, if the mounties 'riding mooses' were any indication, and repeatedly getting high and arguing about which car seat was the most comfortable.
    Wilt disappeared into the mountains during this part, never to be heard from again sadly. Although, some say that if you listen on a ronery night, under a full moon, you can still hear him screaming "THIS GAME FUCKING SUCKS, I'M OUT! AND FUCK OSCAR AND HIS FUCKING STONER WEED SHIT!" in bolded italics.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:46 No.12669939
    Recently I've started wondering what would happen if I went on one of these freemform RPGs and tried to godmode using nothing but troll physics
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:48 No.12669963

    you mean fucking with freeform WASNT what troll physics were invented for?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:48 No.12669966
    If you used some of the more subtler ones it'd probably work.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:49 No.12669978
    What. The. Fuck. I mean, seriously. What the hell.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:53 No.12670028
    I fucking love this thread.

    Continue please, anon.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:56 No.12670069
    >Mac hitting on a devestated Franky

    I am giggling like a mad schoolgirl
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:57 No.12670082
    oscar is like my second favorite /tg/ inspired NPC
    ...but hassan shall always be first
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)19:59 No.12670098

    What. Him being a PC character - although ACTING a bit like an NPC, as in with less regard to the events around him than usual - is the whole point.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:01 No.12670125

    no, i mean il occaisionally use him in my games
    oscar stories become murmurs in bars
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:02 No.12670131
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:03 No.12670146
    The now significantly thinned out group started to grow weary of Oscar's influence. It seemed as though their own craving of randomness and cheap thrills, combined with his never ending supply of happy grass, slowly began to stop being enough, and the group gradually grew even more fractured than ever before.
    Heck, Mat and Franky even stopped having angry sex in the trunk by the time we reached Texas, and Edwuardo kept on punching Oscar for some reason, even when he was just mindin his own business, watchin' Scooby Doo on the T.V in the motel room, man!
    Madame Foster left us then, taking her miraculous cyber legs and grammar errors with her, while Wilt slowly started to withdraw into himself, posting once a day at best. Seeing his fellowship failing, and being too stoned to remember any good LoTR quotes, Oscar decided to consolidate his power by spiking everyone's drinks with a small amount of Roofies purchased from a passing truck river by the name of Earl, in an attempt to loosen everyone up and get them to chill the fuck out, man.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:05 No.12670180
    Excellent choice.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:07 No.12670195
    >(Yeah, don't ask me why, but for some goddamn reason I put Wilt into the last post as running off instead of Cheese. Sorry)
    Growing tired of poorly written sex, Franky had an unfortunate overdose from the roofies, causing Mac to take his life over her body. We ditched the corpses underneath, and on top of, a particularly large cactus after a minute of silence, and were back on our way.
    Sadly, our dream vacation to the Great Potato Festival of Mexico was not to be.

    Wilt, being the asshole that he is, somehow used magic psychic powers to deduce Oscar's nefarious plot, and called the cops. He bailed out with Edwuardo as we reached fifteen miles from the border, leaving Oscar with just his most loyal, steadfast compatriots; the insane, eldricth abomination that was CoCo.
    For seven posts they tailed us, through the mighty sand dunes and under the great, rocky tunnels of Texas, doing everything they could to stop our mad dash for freedom, their shots taking the life of Coco as we were within sight of our destination.
    So it was, in a beat up old mini-bus with a pair of corpses in the back and bullet holes nearly tearing it asunder, only stopped by shear willpower alone holding it together, that Oscar trundled towards the border. He was shot twice as the tires finally gave out and caused him to gradually slow down and stop swerving.
    As he lost his precious life blood, and his hands grew shaky while his vision blurred, he caught one last vision of all his friends, waiting for him, in the great and vast potatoey yonder fields of Mexico, just across the border.......efore he slowly, painfully, crapped his pants one last time right before he died.

    I was ban'd shortly after attempting to join another RPG on the forum.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:08 No.12670212
    next story? or are you gonna treat us to the bean thing?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:09 No.12670224
    Sure, give me a minute to dig it up (If it isn't deleted)
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:10 No.12670230
    >As he lost his precious life blood, and his hands grew shaky while his vision blurred, he caught one last vision of all his friends, waiting for him, in the great and vast potatoey yonder fields of Mexico, just across the border.......before he slowly, painfully, crapped his pants one last time right before he died.

    I love you.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:13 No.12670261
    Oh god, it wasn't over.

    This is fukken hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:24 No.12670400
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    Only two stories?
    No bean eating?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:27 No.12670440
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    I'm getting sadder each second that moar stories aren't posted.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:30 No.12670470
    I tried something like that once... I didn't use Oscar, though.
    Didn't work. Apparently, any character played by someone that someone that other players didn't know and like couldn't do shit.
    Shit could be done with them, though.
    Soon, my character was reduced to an NPC. They could roleplay him [usually as a retard and an asshole] despite the rule of "no control over other characters except when agreed on by said characters' owner". They could warp timespace, so whatever I did didn't matter at all. The difference between what I said and did and what they heard and saw was never explained, so it must've been the case.
    I decided to kill the char.
    They changed that, too, so they would still have an NPC.

    ...never again.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:33 No.12670519
    Oscar bolted upright on his well-worn couch, throwing the debris of a dozen packets of Dorritos onto the surrounding floor as he did so. He clutched his head, like one would a small newborn child, as he sat there in a minute of heavy silence.
    Slowly and groggily, he opened his bloodshot eyes to check the area around him. Seeing a distinct lack of corpses or flame, he lazily fell back into the folds of his stained bed while exhaling a breath he had not been aware of holding. His hands were still shaking as he draped them over the side of the couch, knocking against the floor and spilling a can of Mountain Dew onto the grey carpet in the process, but he was alive.
    He was a-fucking-live, man.
    He'd had the most WILD and godAWFUL trip ever, he could remember. Although, now that he had been awake for more than a minute, the memories of the specifics were slowly slipping out of his grasp, with only vague ideas, feeling, and incidents to remember it by,
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:35 No.12670540
    There had been...a murderer in Tokyo, or something, and he was like, living in one of the victim's apartments, he thought. there'd been a couple of babes fucking him involved as well, but that was nothing new, what WAS new however, was that he had nearly DIED in it.He'd never died in his visions before, he'd fallen asleep and woken up in the real world after a threesome, or tea party with a dinosaur quite often, but he'd never actually -died-.
    Well, he supposed, he hadn't actually died. Everyone else around him, and he could remember that there had been others involved, as one of them had been giving him head, Matsuda, or something, had though. For some reason, whatever had caused it had given him the chance to live though, which was nice of it, he supposed.
    He decided to push it out of his mind for now and to get lunch, partially due to a slight panic rising when he thought of it for too long, and partially because he was starting to get hungry.
    He stood up, feet crushing the cheesy remains of last night's feast even further into the already ruined, grey carpet covering the floor of his apartment, he walked over to the kitchenette to check the press for some food.
    He nearly tripped when his sweatpants fell down his long, hairy, unwashed legs, but aside from that he made the trip remarkably well compared to his usual attempts of getting of his couch, and reached his target unscathed. Unfortunately, The Food gods had decided to punish his hubris, his presumptions, his delusions of grandeur, his first sign of self confidence in close to a week, and removed any traces of food from The Mighty Refrigerator, aside from a small tin of out of date beans in the topmost corner.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:35 No.12670545

    He looked contemplatively at the crumbs crushed into his carpet, and the can of beans, and the crumbs in his carpet, and the can of beans, and the crumbs in his carpet, and the can of beans, and the crumbs in his carpet, and the can of beans, and once more to the crumbs, he decided on the beans, and promptly procured a spoon.
    Sitting at The table Of Foodstuffs, with The Last Of The Beans, The Mighty Tin Opener and Great Spoon Of Eating, he tucked into his meager meal.
    He opened the can with a flourish, the aluminium no match for his mighty cutting device and deft hands, he stared at the congealing, putrescent contents and the small lumps held in the now near-viscous fluid with disgust.
    Shrugging, he scooped up a mighty mouthful of the stuff, lifting it up and lowering it onto his coarse tongue while he craned back his head and opened wide, before quickly shutting his mouth. From there, he slowly swirled the filth around, brushing it against his teeth, in an attempt to get used to the horrific taste. Slowly, but surely, it worked, and his eyes stopped streaming bitter tears of sorrow. He swallowed, the beans only catching in his throat for a moment, before taking a deep breath of air. and so it was that Oscar sat there, unharmed save for the affects of rampant drug abuse on his mind and the fould taste of his food, eating his lunch bit by bit in spite of the taste and the urge to vomit he felt.
    His palette would forever more be scarred from the constant mouthfuls of the beans, slowly, oh so slowly, sliding down his tongue and own his throat, leaving behind a slimy trail like that of a snail, but he would live to see another day.

    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:36 No.12670549
    And my fate in humanity is restored.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:38 No.12670576
    Tears of joy springth from mine eyes.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:39 No.12670595
    worth it

    so, next story?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:40 No.12670599
    any moar storys left?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:40 No.12670603
    I'm /trying/ to play an Oscar right now, 'cept I changed his name to something else, because whatever I dreamt up could never beat the original Oscar. It's a supernatural rp where apparently all the vampires are *supaa* rich, and just about all the humans are pets or bed buddies with the werewolves. My character is a guy who would rather sit in his apartment, read comics, play the vidya, and smoke assloads of weed. Wish me luck?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:41 No.12670615
    Question, OP.

    How the hell did your character NOT get fucked over by all the godly gods of god god...ness... something?
    When I try this, all the ridiculously overpowered monstrosities of a character fuck my shit up, to put it lightly.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:43 No.12670631
    One more before i must retire for the night, but If you keep the thread alive, or even just screencap my posts for me, I'll continue tomorrow with the other three.

    This one is set in Anywhere U.S.A, and people were told to use characters from any media they wanted. The list was;
    Shinji Ikari
    The Doctor
    Hey Arnold
    Lucy From Elfen Lied
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:43 No.12670635
    Not the OP, but you probably should try to avoid the maximum trollage and just stroke their egos for a while. Unless they're all just assholes.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:44 No.12670645

    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:45 No.12670654
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    What is this "troll physics" I'm hearing about?

    Elaborate, if you'd be so kind.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:45 No.12670658
    A few years back I made a character that was Oscar's diametric opposite for trolling a furry RP on a board that was mostly otherwise not that sort of thing. She was a catgirl, but that was incidental, she was first and foremost a businesswoman. Naturally, everyone in the erotically charged RP assumed I was there to play it up as a fetish. That was very not the case.

    The highlight of that spree was me conducting a job interview with a 75% furry lion-man, who kept making sexual advances that my character would either disregard, or make a sharp *tich* of the tongue and scrawl something down on her clipboard, depending on magnitude. Apparently he got tired of hinting at that he wanted to beat his meat, or figured this was my way of easing him into a rape, as he jumped across the table and said, (shit you not), "Pinned ya." The furry attempting to rape my troll character was making a Lion King reference.

    Two seconds and a taser to the balls later, the would-be Simba was clutching his balls and howling in agony as I calmly adjusted my clothes, called security, and fired a hiring manager. He ragequit the session as his character was being dragged off by corporate security to be tried for sexual assault by our lawyers who, as I noted in a post, had a rather nastily effective reputation.

    There was also a time when she "accidentally" scheduled a demolition crew for a church the company recently acquired the land of for the same day as a furry wedding was taking place, but there's not all that much to say about that. Sadly, they got their "I do's" out before the walls came crashing down.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:45 No.12670659
    His name is likely sullied, and this makes me sad.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:45 No.12670662
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    >troll physics
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:46 No.12670668
    The trick is to keep it mysterious and random early on while using the best spelling and grammar you can, thus ensuring no-one kills you as they believe you may have a secret that may benefit them or will cyber-well.
    By the time they realise you're just a stoner, you'll most likely have snared one or two 'lolsorandum' posters who like you enough to protect you, and by staying out of the way of the main plot and simply Oscarin' it up, more should come to you of their own free will.
    Leaving Weed everywhere you go helps, too, as well as going on boards with generally low ages for members as they'll be more easily influenced by you, the Stoner God.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:47 No.12670672
    I'd love to hear the rest.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:47 No.12670675

    They're just assholes.
    In the last game there was ONE character who treated mine decently. Actually three, but two of them went YOU FOOL, I WAS JUST MANIPULATING YOU eventually. The rest just treated the character like trash, since he was nowhere near their power levels. Abuse, both verbal and physical, included.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:48 No.12670684
    It's also good to god-mod yourself a bit, like the original Oscar did. You know, holy weed and all that jazz.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:48 No.12670687
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    This explains everything.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:51 No.12670717
    Deadpool's teleporter broke, taking him there and throwing him into a barrel of water near a farm
    Arnold and Helga just woke up in the town square
    Shinji, Mecha and all, were thrown there by the Twelfth, Portal, angel
    T.J was going to a local camp for Summer
    The doctor's TARDIS was attracted by Deadpool's teleporter
    Zim fucked up with his own teleporter
    Lucy just washed up from the lake, naked of course

    And Oscar?
    He woke up in a mini-van, wearing only a pair of briefs and sandals, with his trusty bong and enough weed to stone a bull elephant.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:52 No.12670721

    The character of Oscar is all about not interacting with anyone unless interacted with.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:52 No.12670728
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    It's... Beautiful...
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:57 No.12670753
    >Superhero freeform RP
    >Make a char that cares little about what happens and just wants to live his life
    >Everything goes smoothly
    >Some people get annoyed with him not giving a shit
    >They kill his family
    >He is pissed as fuck, but decides that he cannot go against all others by himself, so does nothing for the time being
    >They want to kill him using their awesome power
    >Brought a gun to a superpower fight
    >Died, but took down three of five

    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:57 No.12670757
    I am disappointed that nobody tried to sneak in the overpoweredness that is Valentine Michael Smith (from Stranger in a Strange Land).
    >> Bi-polar Hernandez !KuKq0dYqkQ 11/03/10(Wed)20:58 No.12670763
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)20:58 No.12670765
    Damn it OP, Google is turning up nothing of you antics. You made this up.
    >> Bi-polar Hernandez !KuKq0dYqkQ 11/03/10(Wed)20:59 No.12670775
    Topics were probably deleted.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:00 No.12670787
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:00 No.12670790
    Oscar and T.J soon met up in the abandoned comic book store, before he gave the kid a puff to get him to stop freaking out about the naked old man, and they started acting out scenes from Senor Fusion and Batman while high
    Deadpool took Shinji under his wing upon seeing the giant death machine, teaching him how to fight with a katana by beating him with a stick until he could block
    The Doctor got a cup of tea
    Zim, Helga and Arnold cybered in the town square's fountain
    Lucy killed some bunnies for shits and giggles

    Oscar and T.J soon found the Doctor, sitting in a small café, before spitting spitballs at the back of his head and throwing a pie at him. He got pissed off, but before he could use his sonic screwdriver, Oscar ran off, leaving T.J to his grisly (Rape filled) fate.
    Deadpool found Lucy naked and covered in blood after searching for Shinji because he ran off from their "Training", and spent the next ten minutes hitting on her while she tore him apart, limb by limb, as he regenerated.
    Shinji ran into Oscar, freaked out about the naked guy, but relaxed after a couple of puffs.
    Zim, Arnold and Helga were still having sex
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:01 No.12670799
    Probably because nobody's made a "Stranger in a Strange Land" anime. Also nobody else would get it and there'd be trouble there.

    Great stories OP, I can't stop laughing.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:02 No.12670807

    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:02 No.12670808
    Deadpool is acting as Deadpool should. This pleases me.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:04 No.12670819
    Been there, done that.
    Actually, his power was nullifying other powers.
    No, it wasn't nearly as overpowered as it sounds.
    The powers didn't work on him... and that's it.
    Superstrength? Punch him, and you punch him with your normal, not boosted, strength.
    Fire-that-burns-all-breath? As soon as it touches him it's just normal flame. Sure, it can burn him, but he can still be saved.
    Invisibility? Works, as long as you're not trying to make HIM invisible. Same with passing through walls and stuff.
    >> Bi-polar Hernandez !KuKq0dYqkQ 11/03/10(Wed)21:04 No.12670823
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:04 No.12670826
    I like to think everything he owns and wears is so permeated with weedsmoke he doesn't need superpowers. Spend two minutes in an elevator with him and you're higher than Hubble.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:04 No.12670827
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:06 No.12670844
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    >The Question, stoned out of his mind.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:06 No.12670846

    all i needed to hear, working on him for heroes unlimited now
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:08 No.12670868
         File1288832930.jpg-(193 KB, 900x1091, SNOWFLAME_by_theory_of_everyth(...).jpg)
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    Oscar VS. Snowflame. Place your bets.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:13 No.12670916
    Snowflame is Doomrider [with even more COCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINE], so...
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:14 No.12670928
    That is a battle for the ages. Only problem is, their powers will cancel out, and we will be left with two normal dudes who really, really like drugs.

    And then, they'll get high together and maybe accidentally stop some crimes. While high.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:16 No.12670939
    They never meet because Oscar doesn't give a fuck.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:18 No.12670969
    Any other Oscars out there? Also, I'd love to Oscar but I have no idea where I could do it. I could google for some random forums, I guess.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:19 No.12670980
    Deadpool and Lucy eventually did it, and Oscar and his little foreign friend went on the run as they saw a bloodsoaked Doctor start pursuing them.
    Then Oscar found the Eva.
    In a moment of inspiration, he threw nearly all his bag of weed into the beasts gaping maw, making it high as the hubble telescope, and sending it on a rampage through the town. It stepped on Zim, Helga and Arnold's orgy, killing them all instantly, and wrecked the TARDIS as it tried to rub the blood 'n guts of it's feet.
    After fifteen minutes of Kaiju references, it finally settled down to screw the donut above a Dunkin' Donuts for the rest of the game.
    The Doctor's player, and the dead one's, got pissed as all Hell with me called me a troll, leaving me with a blood thirsty Doctor, high Shinji, screwing Deadpool and Lucy and just enough weed for two more people.

    I avoided the Doctor for a short while, found Deadpoo having sex by the lake while drenched in blood and gorel, and offered him weed in exchange for him killing the Doctor. He accepted, before decapitating him in one blow and lighting up.
    I gave the rest to Lucy, who I proceeded to fuck, and once again, prematurely ejaculate with. Deadpool was pissed when he came to the following morning, and killed Shinji when he saw him for running away and Lucy for cheating on him, but spared me because "I was a chill motherfucker" and we ended the game searching for more drugs/alcohol amongst the wreckage of the town.

    >That's all for tonight, folks!
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:22 No.12671011

    1. Go to Roleplaygateway
    2. Join a game that you think will be adequate for Oscaring
    3. Oscar
    4. ???
    5. Get munchies
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:24 No.12671042
    Someone archive this, naow.
    I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:27 No.12671073
    Many thanks.

    >foormene archives
    Captcha agrees with this.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:29 No.12671098

    Already three steps ahead of you.

    The thread is called "Oscar Strikes Back"
    >> Bi-polar Hernandez !KuKq0dYqkQ 11/03/10(Wed)21:29 No.12671099
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:31 No.12671120
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:35 No.12671165
    A stoner pic?
    Oh this thread'll probably suck and be about prop-SUDDENLY
    >Oscar returns!
    >He's fucking bitches and ejaculatin too soon!
    >He's gettin high!
    >He's gettin others high!
    >He's ruinin games!
    >He's eatin beans!

    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:38 No.12671200
    bumping before bed
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:38 No.12671201
    /tg/, we all need to get out there and Oscar the fuck out of some games then report back.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:41 No.12671232
    On it.
    Anyone with me?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:42 No.12671247
    I'm on it. Let's raid those RP fags for some epic lulz.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:42 No.12671252
    Hilarious idea: Mass Oscar invasion of one RP. Admittedly, it'd probably fail and just be one huge clusterfuck, but it'd still be hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:43 No.12671263
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:45 No.12671286
    Keep separate and don't post links on the board, last time that happened we were caught within minutes.
    If you see an Oscar already in an RP on a forum, leave it and find another forum.
    Keep screenshots/logs for a later date after you're finished so that no-one will catch on to you at the time, and follow the advice in;
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:47 No.12671309
    However, it would be great if the Oscars linked to the forums they're on, so we can all follow the shenanigans.
    Without registering or anything, of course.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:49 No.12671318

    "Sir - What's that? It... It looks like the ground is covered in chips!"

    "That's The Munchies, private. It feeds the swarm. you'd best beware whenever you see it growing."
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:51 No.12671345
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:53 No.12671363
    Oh god I doubt I can pull of Oscar but I want to troll some stupid RPs, where are these things?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:53 No.12671365
    Fanfic with Zerg replaced by stoners? FUND IT!

    Maybe the Protoss can all be Arabian Camel vendors.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:53 No.12671369
    Nah, more lulzy to spam Oscar everywhere and drown out the Mary Sues and their bullshit.

    We're 4chan, we're strong, we're not to be fucked with. And you want us to hide and play nice with a bunch of lame RPers?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:55 No.12671405
    No. But seriously, don't do this. You know why /b/ is such shit? They regurgitate memes over and over into unfunny piles of crap.

    Don't ruin good things.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:56 No.12671415
    But only one Oscar would work. Two Oscars is already too many stoners.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:57 No.12671425
    When it helps to troll them even harder?
    Yes, that is what I want.
    Keep it secret until you've got what you need, then post it however much you want. Just don't let them onto us like in the first thread.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:59 No.12671445
         File1288835940.jpg-(91 KB, 500x841, TRAINS.jpg)
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    This is a directory of RP sites. It is full of sixteen year old girls.

    Do your thing /tg/. bring Oscar to life.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)21:59 No.12671452
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)22:01 No.12671475

    Don't fuck this up /tg/!
    We've got one shot to make Oscar an awesome, un-forced meme, so don't ruin it!
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)22:05 No.12671511

    I believe I've found my target.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)22:08 No.12671545
    Godspeed, anon.
    >> Bi-polar Hernandez !KuKq0dYqkQ 11/03/10(Wed)22:10 No.12671565
    Vaya con dios.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)22:11 No.12671576
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    fuckin' five star thread.
    >> Baron Sicarius !!ELQiAA2dAMd 11/03/10(Wed)22:11 No.12671582

    Just offering this one.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)22:12 No.12671590

    Ah man, no drugs allowed. I think application is closed anyways. Oh well. BACK TO SEARCHAN.

    Anyone have any better luck?
    >> ANGRY STONER 11/03/10(Wed)22:17 No.12671650
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)22:25 No.12671748

    What if the Drowtales Dorfs got turned into Oscar Dorfs?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)22:27 No.12671771
    Replace "Weed" with "Obscura" and you potentially have the greatest Dark Heresy character ever. Or, dare I say it... the greatest Rogue Trader ever?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)22:31 No.12671818

    How is the Drow Tales dwarf thing going anyway?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)22:31 No.12671820

    This is an obsidian bong. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. On the item is an image of Urist McOscar. On the the item is an image of weed. Oscar is smoking the weed. The artwork relates to the life of Urist McOscar
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)22:33 No.12671841

    I think I love you
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)22:34 No.12671847
    Rogue Trader Oscar Oscarius, with enough obscura to stone a company of Space Marines.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)22:38 No.12671882
    He floats around the Koronus Expanse in a barely-operable greathold, getting high with inquisitors and prematurely ejaculating all over eldar women.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)22:45 No.12671980

    the only known human able to calm an active WRRRYYY assasin
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)22:47 No.12672002
    Or a single noise marine.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)23:17 No.12672280
    After the long hard battle...

    They deemed "Nah no dwarfs. Drow only"

    So probably make some faggy stoner bro drow.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)23:30 No.12672386
    Bump for more stories?
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)23:33 No.12672417
    While I occasionally get the idea t troll some forums, I don't think I'd take the Oscar route. But that's because my ideas are far, far weirder.

    For example, I'd love to play a shoggoth lord alongside a bunch of pretty vampires and all that. Being a shoggoth means you don't have to give a fuck about much. No blood to suck, bullets don't do much, you're built like a bulldozer if you need to actually fight (a situation to avoid, however), and everyone wonders what's up with the unusually sprightly obese guy.

    Obesity lowers the pretty/sexy quotient of the game, but also generates interest. And being The Fat Guy seems fun. I figure the best approach is to be kind of like Santa Claus,but with a layer of eldritch terror underneath the jolly. Be a cool guy, hang out in the same bar as everyone else, don't start shit, and exist just to have fun in a low-key way. Never elt on that you're a shogogth unless people shoot you or otherwise need some correcting. Be as nonviolent as possible, and break stuff up if it's ruining your buzz or whatever.

    not sure how effective of a troll it'd be, but it at least sounds quite amusing as a character in genera, and is certainly different enough to be weird and annoy people just from existing.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)23:34 No.12672424
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    Are other people allowed to play humans, or is it just drow with NPC humans that are controlled by the players?

    Alternatively, are you allowed to play crabs? Because I could imagine a certain kind of hilarity being stirred up with such a simple character concept as a crab that can only speak two words at a time.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)23:47 No.12672523
         File1288842453.png-(189 KB, 500x375, 1288584300672.png)
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    >mfw this thread
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)23:48 No.12672534
         File1288842494.png-(132 KB, 469x428, trollfacepeek.png)
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    Played something similar in one of my jaunts through the AOL chats, after they allowed people to access them for free.

    It was an eldritch creature from beyond the veil of space and time that manifested itself a small mass of tentacles and occasionally requested tribute. When asked what I wanted, I just told them to be creative. Of the many things I received, most of which were magical in nature, the most prized of the things I got was a marionette that was covered in lead-based paint from the least powerful character in the chat... which was quickly mistaken for a colorful hat and subsequently covered in ichor in my character's attempt to put it on.

    I called myself Wellington, shared F'THAGN-O's with people while we watched others duke it out with overpowered characters, and oftentimes commented that the only thing that could make the fight better would be if love could bloom on the battlefield.

    The last part was made somewhat awkward when one pair of fighters actually did start making out in the middle of their fight.

    "She's trying to suck his brain out! Someone, stop her!"

    It took them six weeks to realize that I was basically Ultros.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)23:53 No.12672599
    Somebody archive this thread.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)23:57 No.12672650
    I'm not sure about that one. A lot of them are channers, so they might figure it out pretty quick.
    >> Anonymous 11/03/10(Wed)23:58 No.12672661
    I remember that in some otherwise horrible Vampire campaign, where everyone rolled up generic sociopathic goths on a power trip, one guy rolled up this morbidly obese vampire gentlemen, whose only goal was to have a good time and eat some children.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)00:12 No.12672791
    How well do you think I could troll a "gifted-with-powers" rp with some balding middle aged guy who had the ability to enforce the rules of physics?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)00:14 No.12672817
    Do eet.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)00:15 No.12672824
    ...It's always been my dream to play someone who's ability is the mandatory enforcement of the laws of physics. So I say go for it. The only downside is, you probably have to actually really understand what you're talking about and be able to explain it in a concise manner. Are you up for the task?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)00:16 No.12672834
         File1288844199.png-(69 KB, 400x1200, 1288771411455.png)
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    Vampire RP you say?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)00:20 No.12672870
    Mr. Bombardini? Yeah, I remember that thread.


    Another of my weird concepts, again for a sort of "bar setting RP" idea involved playing a Hungry Ghost. Or Thirsty, take your pick. Ghost character who would in no way be a thinly-veiled Yuyuko Saigyouji who drinks so much she can't maintain a corporeal state and starts falling through the bar and stools, or wanders off with her last beer and gets stuck when the mug won't go through the wall. Completely harmless, so nobody would mess with them, but not many can mess with ghosts anyway. Some potential to be as cruel as anyone else, with things like reaching through their bodies to get to their hearts, etc.

    Yet another idea that is mostly just "have fun, chill, ignore anything and everything. I've had some that were out and out trolling, such as using a character named "Axel" in a kingdom Hearts game with the hops that he ends up getting a lot of attention from people who want the other character by that name. endless and humorous cases of mistaken identity ensue.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)00:30 No.12672944
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    Greatest thread. Thank you OP for starting this roller coaster of win.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)00:33 No.12672961
         File1288845212.jpg-(13 KB, 320x240, Axel 2.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)00:41 No.12673019
    Oh Twisted Metal, you so crazy.

    >worship orovents
    ok captcha...

    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)00:49 No.12673068
    >Mr. Bombardini
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)00:58 No.12673136
    >Mister Bombardini was a man of simple, refined tastes. He was also a Macellarius, which to those who don't know/care get to actually eat flesh for Vitae and such. Playing against the usual angst-and-gloom of the group, he was presented as an upper class gourmand seeking nothing more than the simple pleasures of eating children and crazy people.

    >Fortunately, the GM was willing to allow Bloodlines, and because he (sort of) fit in with the rest of the group, it was allowed. The rest of the group was playing a bunch of angst-goth Mekhet, all wearing leather and packing giant revolvers, so Mister Bombardini was quite out of place in carefully-maintained suit and with his fussy little napkin.

    >The point of him was to show it's possible to be dark and evil without actually being over-the-top, oversexualized creatures of the dark. Stats weren't the greatest because I dislike the min-maxing of a lot of Bloodline users, but he worked as a combat monster. The first sign of trouble came when I 'accidentally' pulled away a victim from one of the other players, managing to kill their dice rolls and charm them by being a cheerful, fat old man in a nice suit and promises of patronage for the NPC. Y'see, I pulled a victim away from a player who was using the game as wish-fulfillment, and that is a no-no in crazy groups.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)00:59 No.12673145
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    I always held a warm place in my heart for the chats that inexplicably had god-level superpowered individuals just... hanging out in a bar, shooting the shit, doing nothing in particular.

    Of course, that never stopped me from rolling in with an Average Joe with a motormouth type of character that knew how to mix drinks asking what they did when they weren't in the bar, or if they had a day-job. Best answer I ever got was "Yeah. I go to other bars and pester the normal people with questions about whether they fight crime during the night-time."

    Picture related. My face when I found out he was just as obnoxious as I was, just in different ways.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)00:59 No.12673149
    >Now, after succeeding in eating the random art student and getting ridiculous levels of Vitae, Mister Bombardini decided that it would be a good idea to be a team player for a little while. Now, as a rule, I try to avoid using out-of-game knowledge, but the situation that next arose just called for it. The GM had us running around attempting to 'procure' slaves for some sort of magical orgy, and I could see where things would end up (Players bring human stock, told to fuck off by vampire we were trying to unseat from their position of power, players get angry, fight ensues).

    >So, in his meek little manner, I voiced my concerns for their plan to raid a bunch of fraternities and sororities (wish fulfillment amirite?) for people and instead suggested a route that wouldn't get us killed. This was, of course, immediately shouted down by all other players, and so he continued being his meek little self.

    >Couple sessions down the road, things have gone as I thought they would. At least one player had a character killed and, in true angst fashion, created a carbon copy with poorly-explained reasons for wanting revenge. We're talking "Erase name on sheet, play character again" levels of copy.

    >Now, as a gentleman, Mister Bombardini did not, as a rule, enjoy working with these young upstarts, and so decides that a little political maneuvering is in order.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)01:01 No.12673164
    >At this point in the game, most of the other players really, really disliked me. I had taken their escapist wish-fulfillment fantasy and inserted an incredibly fat man in a suit who tended to eat any victims he managed to get alone, and due to the bloodline traits, was pretty damn hard to stop from doing that.

    >Politics came in when I cut a deal with the aforementioned plot villain and offered to sell out the group (They were breaking the Masquerade HARD at that point) in return for a guaranteed supply of food and a large mansion in the hills. Now, none of the other players knew about it or had any way of knowing about it in game. This did not stop them from constantly trying to screw poor Mister Bombardini over.

    >Eventually, the GM took me aside, and said that if I wanted to keep playing, I'd have to tone the character down. Despite the fact that other players were doing things that were more ridiculous and idiotic (Doing obvious shit that would get noticed, taking out high church authorities, leaving bloody ritual marks on public walls and such), apparently playing a six hundred pound vampire wasn't considered proper in a game where everyone wanted to be their own magical vampire pal and escape from the taunts of others.

    >Normally, I would be okay with this, but the failure had begun to mount up. So, Mister Bombardini did the only sensible thing available; he started eating everyone he could find, because it left little evidence, gave great boosts to the Vitae, and made it so the other characters couldn't fuck with him.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)01:07 No.12673224
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    Were you on /co/, by any chance?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)01:21 No.12673317
    Huh. No, actually.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)01:32 No.12673401
    This is seriously giving me an erection it's so funny.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)02:00 No.12673642
    Go on anon
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)02:05 No.12673685
    bump for more fat vampire cannibal antics
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)02:13 No.12673776
    Question, does anyone happen to actually have links to the RP the original Oscar mentions killing in http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/2225740/ ? Especially the Star Trek and Sailor Moon ones, I want to see the hilarious fallout from him literally dicking over the plot.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)02:42 No.12674043
    'The hell did this thread suddenly die for?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)02:58 No.12674191
    Bump because I refuse to let the first Oscar thread in two years just suddenly die!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)02:59 No.12674198
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)03:15 No.12674337

    Holy mother of god. I have found the perfect target:

    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)03:38 No.12674513
    Bump for Oscar goodness
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)03:43 No.12674539
    bumpan to keep the awesome flowing till morning~
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)03:52 No.12674610
    One time I encountered an Oscar-like in a clusterfuck of a VtM game. He was a semi-retarded 7 foot tall nosferatu with walrus tusks instead of fangs, and for a flaw he had "Transmits disease via bite" and "Bite wounds don't heal automatically". After biting the big-bad and getting himself some demon blood, he revealed that the disease his bite transmits is syphilis.

    The glorious death of this character came as he infiltrated a sabatt-held gala event by dressing up as a clown with peanut butter in a bag down the back of his pants. Whenever anyone tried to stop him from getting inside the party he would reach down and scoop up some peanut butter and try to wipe it on them. He basically walked right in unopposed.

    He died when he gave the sabatt leader a big ol' retard hug and set off the dynamite he had strapped to his chest.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)04:00 No.12674657
    Oh god this thread's still going.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)04:01 No.12674666
    I was in an ars magica game some years ago.

    One character i made was literally nothing more than a wagon driver, this wagon driver's only mode of speaking was sarcastically.

    When asked about it, he would roll his eyes and very sarcastically say that he had been cursed by a gypsy.

    However because of the way he said it, no one could really be sure. Even i didn't know.

    Shit was hilarious as I found more and more clever ways to involve myself in conversations without once speaking plainly.

    Also had this one combat monster giant swiss woman who wielded a warhammer, that later wore a chainmail poncho that was originally meant for a horse, had a figure about as shapely as a brick, and she was half as smart as one. Within a heavy RP campaign. Her entire purpose was to derail conversations and subvert all the pretty talkative characters with her ralph wiggum type observations and her "i must smash what confuses me" personality. However she ended up actually being a beloved character by the other players, and ended up saving the party on more than one ocassion when there was actually combat, since she was nearly indestructible.

    Crowning moment of awesome, when some pipsqueak wizard was kicking everyone's social butterfly ass or finesse based fighter's ass due to being able to repell metal. My swiss miss was the only one that could stay on her feet. Since he was deflecting her warhammer strikes by repelling the metal, I had her simply spread eagle fall over atop him, breaking many bones and putting him into a coma. Shit was so awesome.
    >> Featherball 11/04/10(Thu)04:03 No.12674683
    rolled 90 = 90

    Holy shit, Oscar's back?

    If only for a fleeting moment.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)04:16 No.12674750

    You are my goddamn hero.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)04:33 No.12674858
    Oh holy shit, my Vampire character has passed into /tg/ lore. You have no idea how happy that makes me. He'll never quite be Oscar, but the opportunity to just get that group raging was too wonderful. Seriously, though, damn my friend for abandoning me to that horrendous group.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)06:56 No.12675591
    So, assume I want to troll furries with an Oscar-alike.

    Awhile back I decided to make what was basically the most literal example of a weasel you've ever seen-drives a near-busted Love Bus or Beetle, uses lard to style his hair, wears leather maintained only by his eternal greasy sheen...y'know, the kind of guy who epitomizes sleaze-and, if he ever actually manages to get a girl, will inevitably ejaculate prematurely and be incredibly apologetic, and then insufferably smug the next day. To finish it all off, a voice so nasal it sounds like he's talking through a kazoo.

    Unfortunately, because I am lazy, I never actually USED it, but I'd like some feedback. Good idea y/n?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)08:21 No.12675955
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    >We're 4chan, we're strong, we're not to be fucked with.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)08:54 No.12676093

    >go on...
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)09:14 No.12676163
    I recall when in an Oscar thread /tg/ decided to go raiding RP sites and hit a touhou IRC channel.

    Turns out there were already fa/tg/uys involved there and peeenched the hell out of em.

    THAT was amusing.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)10:48 No.12676658
    bumping for more Oscar stories
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)11:55 No.12677007
         File1288886110.jpg-(13 KB, 251x251, 1288398056937.jpg)
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    bump for great justice
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)11:57 No.12677016
    Bamping for OP to deliver moar Oscar goodness
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)12:00 No.12677035

    Bumping. Do this for great Justice. I'll jump in if you do.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)12:33 No.12677263
    Oscar could not exist, as he would not be able to take drugs as per the rules.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)12:40 No.12677309
    Date: One Year Ago
    Subject Name: Oscar
    Description: A lanky, long, brown haired white American male in his mid twenties with fuzzy dreadlocks that have been dyed blonde towards the end. He also has blue, slightly bloodshot eyes.
    He wears a Red, slightly too small T-Shirt with Che Guevara printed across the front, slightly faded, and a pair of skinny, well-worn jeans.
    On his feet is a pair of non-branded, white sneekers and socks, and he has a cheap wristwatch on his left arm.
    Setting: Hinata-Sou house immediately post-Mutsumi meeting Keitaro, Love Hina manga continuity.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)12:42 No.12677328
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)12:55 No.12677417
    Oscar started off the horribly ill-conceived attempt at wish fulfilment in the main lobby, pointedly ignoring Kitsune and an OC-cousin of Keitaro (Read: Marty Stu) having sex on the couch next to his for three posts while taking regular puffs of his joint.

    After they were finished their poorly worded, drunken coitus, apparently without protection, the OC quickly fled the room to find Motoko and 'train with his katana', leaving the still drunk and horny teenage girl with the foreign, stoned stranger.

    They proceeded to bone furiously for all of fifteen seconds, before Oscar came early all over Kitsune's stomach and settled down for a short nap while she angrily stormed off.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:02 No.12677452
    Upon awaking, he found a very pissed off sword mistress waiting above him with a very sharp looking blade, and a crying Kitsune calling rape. In his highly articulate response, he managed to form the coherent words "Dude", "Chill", "Pickle" and "Weeeeeed~" before trailing off into a stream of mumbling. Sadly, his well thought out counter argument to the girl's claims of perverted conduct were for naught, and he was forced to club her over the head with his bong to stun her long enough to make good on his escape.

    He quickly stumbled up the stairs to the main landing and bedrooms, careening through the walls of paper and thin sticks with his mighty stoner strength and interrupting a game of chess and one now very disgruntled pair of lesbians. He leaped out of the window at the end of the short hall, before accidentally sliding down the roof and into the hot spring below, crashing into a young man with a pair of glasses seconds away from being beaten senseless by a very angry girl.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:13 No.12677514
    Accidentally snagging the youth's foreskin with his wristwatch's broken glass, he dragged him through the water past the shocked to silence girl and into the main building, before sealing them into the broom closet.

    Attempting to calm the panicking teen, lest he give away their location to the 'sword wielding one, man', Oscar promptly forced him to take enough drugs to get him high and relaxed. They then spent ten posts simply discussing whatever came to mind as the rest of the house slowly calmed down and returned to their mindless banter, interspersed with yet more poorly written sex and the arguments of OC's trying to show who was the greatest fighter, and forgot about them. All except for one Naru Narusegawa, the girl from the hot spring.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:21 No.12677550
    just got here. Read first paragraph of op's link. I can't wait to see how this finishes :D
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:28 No.12677588
    The creator of Naru, a mod on the forum, was firmly a shipper of the Ketaru pairing and was determined to force it into existence within the RPG. Pleased that her would-be lover was being kept away from the other women, she proceeded to awaken Suu and Shinobu's inner lesbians, joining them along with Mutsumi and Kanako, to remove them from the running. She then faked Kitsune's pregnancy test with semen scraped from a used condom, and made her leave for the foreseeable future to have an abortion. Motoko was already busy training, and fucking, two of the more popular male OC's, and was thus deemed non-threatening and spared any interference, along with his aunt.

    Sensing a great disturbance in the force, and a great deal of OOC actions being taken, Oscar gathered his many scarred neurons together to form a cohesive train of thought, and formulated a plan of action. He proceeded to forcefully masturbate the Japanese teen with him to being near the point of orgasm, before dragging him out of the closet and taking him to his Aunt Haruka. there, he convinced the two of their always hidden love over a shared bong, and fingered the woman until she too was as horny as her younger relative. The following five posts were a mixture of passion, the spark of true love first born, trepidation and a more than a little shame on Oscar's part as he came early again, as the three proceeded to fuck on the table.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:29 No.12677592
    Naru, enraged that the forum goer playing Keitaro was acting out of character (And being given Wikipedia links via pm to the articles on Irony and Hypocrisy by Oscar), attempted to kill Oscar for his interference, but was struck a mighty blow by the foul tempered Motoko and was killed instantly. She proceeded to explain to the confused stoner Kitsune's pregnancy, and was nearly done demanding he step up to accept his responsibilities by the time he fled the house and country, never to be seen again on the forum.

    The thread was deleted the following day, and the story of Oscar ceased to be.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:29 No.12677595
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:40 No.12677659
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:40 No.12677661
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:43 No.12677686
    Out of stories worth telling, sorry.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:45 No.12677692
    This is the best thread I have ever read.

    Bravo, 10/10.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:47 No.12677708
    Has this been archived?
    It should be archived.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:51 No.12677733
    Would read again.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:52 No.12677751
    It doesn't matter if the stories of Oscar and his exploits are made up. They are compressed awesome.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:56 No.12677776
    get for an awesome thread
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)13:57 No.12677782
    Still. 9/10, OP. I lol'd like a motherfucker.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:03 No.12677834
    final bump
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:05 No.12677850
    Hey fa/tg/uys can I ask for your help?
    There's a RP forum that was once light and happy, but has now fallen on times of GRIMDARK and SRS BSNS
    Do you think you're a stoned enough twnety something human male and bring back the levity?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:06 No.12677857
    Give me a link, you have my sword.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:10 No.12677903
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    I now have my tabbris for a eva. Thank you /tg/
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:11 No.12677913
    My knee-jerk reaction is to say, "Not your person army."

    ...Not your personal army.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:11 No.12677917
    God speed anon.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:13 No.12677930
    Don't play Mass Effect.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:13 No.12677931
    I'm not asking anyone to take up a personal vendetta against any characters- just to make things a little lighter, and more carefree.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:14 No.12677940
    S'okay anon- it's the thought that counts.
    Besides, the other anons are right- I should try my hand at this
    If something is worth doing, it's worth doing by yourself!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:15 No.12677951

    I am familiar with the Mass Effect community. If you're gonna throw a stoner in there, make it a salarian. Ultimate comedy.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:15 No.12677953
    I suddenly feel the urge to play a stoner hanar...
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:18 No.12677980
    Please, be my guest.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:20 No.12677990
    Sorry, I'm really bad at keeping attention at PBPs and am currently swamped with essays.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:23 No.12678015
    Eh, again, s'no problem
    I was really tickled by
    idea, just didn't want to step on anyones toes.
    it wouldn't be very fun if there TWO oscars, right?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:25 No.12678034
    Unless they were brothers!
    Brothers who were both dealers that gave out weed for free because they were too high to realise what they were doing!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)14:44 No.12678169
    This mighty tale of weed-fueled madness made me cackle like a goddamned madman.

    Good show dear anon. Good show.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)15:00 No.12678285
    *applauds till his hands bleed*
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)15:29 No.12678484
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)15:36 No.12678528
    Oh yes. James Bond the Crab. The OTHER amazing /tg/ troll character. Beaten only by Oscar in terms of awesome derailing ability, but clearing the third place character - the retiring alcoholic Vimes-lite town guard - by a clear margin.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)15:42 No.12678573
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    >b& for a week, no /tg/, b/awww
    >ban is up! let's check what my bros on /tg/ are up to
    >mfw this thread

    Never change, /tg/, never change.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:07 No.12678763
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:30 No.12678914

    I haven't been able to find the story in the archives since the latest purge. Then again, I haven't looked very thoroughly for a while, so I could be wrong in believing that it was wiped out by an anal-retentive LordLicorice.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:33 No.12678933
    Is this it?
    >The characters that paraded through were each trying to have dark and mysterious pasts, but were too busy trying to enthrall each other to listen to one another's story.

    >But then someone entered as a crab. A crab that smoked cigars. A crab that drank martinis. A crab whose name was apparently "James Bond."
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:33 No.12678936


    "I pinch."
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:37 No.12678973
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    OP, I must applaud you, and your bold resurrection of Oscar, the troll. Over the summer, I got bored as fucking shit, and went looking for a new roleplay site. I eventually found this:


    I'll just note, now, that they have a separate forum for "vampire roleplay." That sums up the quality, and demographic, of the entire board.

    After a month of struggling to find a decent RP that didn't die in two weeks, I snapped. I just fucking snapped. I found a Hogwarts-style ripoff game, and made Frank, the groundskeeper, who drives the Pimpmobile.

    Pic related- the image I used for Frank.

    I've trolled a few other RP's after that, but never longer then a few posts- the threads died soon after I lost interest, anyhow. If I ever have time again (probably next summer) I'll try my hand at it again.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:42 No.12679008

    >"The pimpmobile merely is," Frank stated cryptically. "It has no fixed dimensions; it's existence is a hole in reality created in the same fashion that the suction of the drain creates the whirlpool in your bathtub. In the van's case, the suction is the vacuum created by a totally bitching guitar solo about to be."

    In retrospect I wonder why I wasted so much effort on those fools.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:48 No.12679051
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:51 No.12679064

    Glad to help. Make sure you put the image on your character sheet for extra effect.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:54 No.12679091
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    >the retiring alcoholic Vimes-lite town guard

    I can't imagine Vimes actually happening in a freeform roleplaying session, as no one ever seems to fear anyone else's character for any reason.

    But a small part of me wants to believe it's possible.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:59 No.12679145

    I can't imagine anybody fearing Vimes, period. Because his most often-cited crowning moment of asskicking took place while he screamed

    >THAT. IS. NOT. MY. COW.

    yeah, really fucking terrifying, that
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:04 No.12679175
    This is a person who's just chopped a dwarf wielding a flamethrower in half.

    While screaming about cows madly.

    Chopped someone wielding a flamethrower in half.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:06 No.12679194
    http://hopeinchains.sinful-ties.com/phpBB3/index.php Have you guys tried this place yet?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:10 No.12679226
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    That just comes across as hilarious.

    >Sees dwarf


    >chops dwarf in fucking half

    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:15 No.12679263

    uh, what the fuck am I looking at

    this might be ripe for the plucking
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:34 No.12679405
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:38 No.12679427
    Someone add all of this to 1d4chan, edited to have the spelling mistakes removed of course.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:45 No.12679470
    You do it if you want it so badly.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:52 No.12679519
    >>Cheech and Chong as a Hanar and Salarian.

    DO IT!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:58 No.12679574
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:02 No.12679607
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    I remember playing in a furry RP where humanity was banished to another dimension due to being too evil. I played as the one human they missed who happened to be a Oscar clone. Everyone wanted my D.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:04 No.12679630
    Couldn't we technically rule Oscar, The Stoned One as a minor Deity in all settings?

    His followers are mostly telling people to, "Chillax, man..." and the temples to him (little more than wagons with half-assed holy symbols on them) selling "magical plants" that enable the faithful to feel as their God feels?

    Since he appears in multiple places, at multiple times, we could also probably call him "The Tripper" and get the same sort of effect. Random encounters in campaigns where they find, meet, or rescue a bewildered, confused, and apparently "slow" man from certain danger. Only to be rewarded with the one thing "The Tripper" can give... magical plants.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:13 No.12679691


    "Dude, I don't even know what you're talking about. One second, I'm having a righteous buzz and talking to some chick, and I went to the bathroom, and then I was in Mexico, and I remember this cactus that I thought was pretty smug about things, and I swear to the Big Guy Upstairs, that cactus was *smug*, man. Acting all self-righteous and shit, photosynthesizing with its cactus buddies, and soaking up water from under the desert so it could live and all that jazz, and... and..."

    "... Go on?"

    "I forget what I was talking about. Want some weed, lion-dude?"
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:14 No.12679698
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    >I remember playing in a furry RP where humanity was banished to another dimension due to being too evil.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:17 No.12679718
    Standard Furry Persecution Complex. Minor trope rewrit major due to...well, us.

    I have a furry friend who happens to be a friend of Sapphirus (this did not go over well, but whatever) and she's shocked to find out 4chan is just another online community...albeit capable of more zealotry.

    We have developed one hell of a reputation, boys and girls.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:17 No.12679719
    I fucking lol'd. Thanks for that.
    >> PaladinGuy !!0ZL3cy8TJ55 11/04/10(Thu)18:18 No.12679726
    "... so let me get this straight... you FELL. NAKED. On the cactus?"


    "And your penis just happened to be erect and slide into the cactus?"


    "...I'm not going to lay hands on your ass. Get out of here."
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:29 No.12679805
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:35 No.12679856
    Well seeing that is got deleted even though it was certainly work safe i'd say it's a good thing I didnt post more. Besides, the only other things I really had were various Dryads.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:39 No.12679899
    The unjust fear Vimes, because he can't be fucking stopped.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:42 No.12679918
    >I was an illiterate cunt with loose morals and what appears to be a sense of humour derived from the creators of FATAL.
    You still are a cunt with loose morals and a bad sense of humor but at least now you're literate. So you roleplayed a stoner and ruined someones day by being THAT GUY. What part of this is funny? I don't get it. Freeform RPGs have always looked like a land of boredom for me but the aforementioned thread and OP's shenanigans weren't any better.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:45 No.12679940
    Drow Tales zealot spotted
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:51 No.12680000

    See, you can pull the "That Guy" card all you want, and it works to some extent, but when you pull back your vision you realise these guys are complete losers and it's okay to mock them and ruin their day.

    That's the beauty of humanity: It doesn't matter if you're their THAT GUY so long as you're not your THAT GUY, and if you find yourself feeling bad, and see that your peers agree with you, suddenly, you don't care.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:52 No.12680008
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:53 No.12680016

    I understand that you don't enjoy the retelling of the tale, and I think I might understand why.

    See, I happen to enjoy it because I actually played in freeform roleplaying groups when I was a tot and didn't know shit about shit. I also enjoyed the "privilege" of being subjected to the many myriad varieties of asshole that can be found on the Internet. I like the stories of Oscar because it completely subverts the usual "Must create overpowered character in order to make other people pay attention to anything I do" shtick that goes on in freeform roleplaying. You see it as being That Guy, but the experience of having your game completely shaken up by some guy with a goofy character that, by all rights, should NOT be capable of causing these kinds of problems is sublime.

    The people that react negatively almost invariably look back on the time that stoner guy rolled through and laugh. They just don't like it at the time because it seemed like it switched the attention from their own stories. The reality of the situation is that they actually played WITH people, rather than making people play with them.

    It's a simple case of a bro being subtle and getting those who don't often get a chance at the spotlight involved in the fun and games, rather than yet another night of watching the real That Guy stroke his E-Cock all over everyone else.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:55 No.12680031
    Exactly that.
    I beat a fish dude at hacky sack and all of the sudden all the cat ladies and some dudes wanted to jump on my dick.
    My answer was always "Dude what." to all questions or flirtations.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)19:00 No.12680071
    Just seems like a waste of effort to me. This wasn't amusing, so what was the point of it all?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)19:10 No.12680151
    Origin of our great Lord Oscar, The Stoner God and the Tripper of Worlds, as told by Father Pippin Galadriel Moonchild the Fourth;

    Many aeons ago, when the universe was still new and the Gods few in number, clouds of dust that would one day be the galaxies of light we now know stretched forever out across the light-years of space that made up all of creation.

    Within these dust clouds, stars were being born in a never ending orgy of fire and light, compressed together by the primal force of gravity and under the guidance of an ancient God now so old that even their name has been forgotten and washed away by the stream of time.

    From one of these massive behemoth stars, a small world, the first world, was born, and life soon grew from it. Within it's murky waters, sulphur, helium, the constant heat of ever flowing magma and the thrashing of raging storms created a soup of chemicals so potent that it could stun even the mightiest Fratboy. From this holy elixir came the first microbes, and from those the fish, and from those the land walking creatures.

    And with these land creatures, the first Kings of the World outside the Ocean, came the discovery of hallucinogens, and the pleasures of an easy life.

    From their simple love of life's greatest joys, relaxation after a good days work, the safety of a comfy resting place, free love and sex shared amongst all without discrimination, and the buzz of a good high, was Oscar first given form.

    He was made from their Happiness and Apathy, their Sloth and their Passion, their Drugs and their Foodstuffs, and he rode out across all creation, cresting a wave of cosmic energies not seen since the Big Bang, before he finally took his rightful place amongst the pantheons of old aside his fellow Gods.

    And it was good.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)19:11 No.12680161
    I for one found it quite hilarious at parts.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)19:12 No.12680178
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)19:49 No.12680464
    Lord Oscar's First Miracle;
    Many thousands of centuries after His birth, and the quick death of the Cradle World which had created Him at the hands of it's unstable sun, Lord Oscar's next group of followers came into being.

    They were a sickly race that was, once more, born on a planet far too close to their sun, resulting in their atmosphere burning slowly away over the years. Gradually, too fast for them to evolve to handle the effects, there world was being slowly irradiated until it would be nothing more than a toxic lump of rock, floating in the cold depths of space around a lonely star. But it was this, their greatest weakness, that also gave rise to their strength.

    Seeing the futility of their struggles, their dreams, their accomplishments and history, they refused to fall into despair, and the race decided to embrace the joys of life the same way another did on the First World so, so, so long ago before them.

    They embraced free love and joy with all their hearts, determined to live with no regret and to spread happiness to all within their world. They created narcotics of such frightful strength that they could corrode metal, and songs so beautiful that they could make the stones of their world themselves dance to their tunes. From this simple appreciation of that which made life worth living, and the way they accepted freely the cruelty of the universe yet persevered anyway, they came to earn a special place in His heart. Giving them his blessing in secret, He protected them from their sun, gave them the gift of inter-planetary travel and put in a good word with several of His fellow Gods who would go on to one day form the core of their new pantheon due to His humble request.

    And so, the rise of the Eldar came to pass.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)19:51 No.12680480
    I fucking love Oscar, God of Stoners.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)19:58 No.12680549
    Amen to that.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:13 No.12680699
    I had the most awesome idea:
    We need to find a WH40K RPing forum, hopefully full of Imperial fanboys (especially Marines) with a "general character interaction" thread.

    Then, we must create Oscar the StonerCron. Let's look at the fun facts:
    >he will break canon in so hilarious many ways. For example, he will carry a gauss-bong, which he will happily share with anyone who asks.
    >the forum will be full of shitty Marine and Guardsman OCs, who will rage so hard to see a Necron getting stoned.
    >as a Necron, there will be fuck-all they can do to stop him. They can't HERESYBLAM him, because he's a goddamn Necron. He and his happy-pipe will just reform and he'll continue like nothing happened.

    Please help me, /tg, for I cannot find a good forum for this. Oscar the StonerCron must live!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:15 No.12680727
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:36 No.12680925

    Perhaps you'd feel differently if you tried it.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:39 No.12680970
    The tears of the crap rp'ers and the laughing of those good enough to roll with it are both delicious.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:43 No.12681004

    I dunno, I think this is taking it too far. Oscar is becoming... something more than Oscar, he's becoming what he never was supposed to be, an OC of combine-races/templates/archetypes-to-be-awesome.

    The glory of Oscar is that he is a stoner. Nothing more. Nothing less.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:44 No.12681024
    It's required to work.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:45 No.12681036
    So make him a stoner Adeptus, the guard won't be able to touch him easily, and if he dodges the Commisars and such he should be fine to smoke his joints and wait for people to inevitably derail the game to get his attention.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:45 No.12681038
    This. This this this this this. This.

    Let not Oscar become what he was made to oppose.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:46 No.12681050
    Probably the stupidest thing I've found in a long time, gonna Oscar the shit out of it.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:47 No.12681059
    This. Oscar is not meant to be some glorious being. He is just a stoner.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:49 No.12681082
    The whole gos stories things are cool and all, but Jesus, just remember that in game he can't be anything more than a massive stoner suffering from premature ejaculation.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:49 No.12681083
    My character's name is going to be Johnny B. Goode, by the way. An emulation of Oscar, not a copy.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:54 No.12681142

    Welcome to the Hell of Too Many Fingers In The Same Pie.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:58 No.12681186
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)21:08 No.12681299
    has this been archived?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)21:45 No.12681644

    >2011: President Obama is overthrown by a totalitarian descendant of Adolf Hitler, declaring himself King DeCreano of America. He shuns the United States, restating the country in every document as America. Marriage and Pregnancy are greatly encouraged, making America the largest Reproduction country.

    I'm the Frank writer from the first thread. I can't... I.. what...

    >2011: President Obama is overthrown by a totalitarian descendant of Adolf Hitler, declaring himself King DeCreano of America. He shuns the United States, restating the country in every document as America. Marriage and Pregnancy are greatly encouraged, making America the largest Reproduction country.

    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:14 No.12681941
    Looks like he chose another thread. Must've been too stupid for him.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:56 No.12682425
    I fucking love you forever.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:58 No.12682451
    Awesmoe here: I do what I can.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)00:33 No.12683845
    im so glad this thread is still up. it had a good run, and i am glad it is getting archived.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)00:40 No.12683963
    Good god, this thread is still going?

    Fucking capcha, I don't know how to write in Hebrew.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)00:58 No.12684256
    I was thinking of doing some Oscar-esque trolling with a delusional, filthy-bearded homeless character I created a while back named "Flannel Tom". Any tips, /tg/? I figure those who use Oscar do it better than I could ever do it, and since I already understand Flannel Tom, who I believe could be just as disruptive and/or disassociated from the other characters.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)03:34 No.12685859
    Read the fucking book, bro. Your expectations are probably raised unfairly by people citing it, but it really is pretty awesome, with context.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)03:59 No.12686099
    Final bump from me
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)04:14 No.12686242
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    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)05:02 No.12686603
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    Oh, I still think 1st place in the scale of campaign derailment magnitude still belongs to Old Man Henderson.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)05:08 No.12686639
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    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)05:23 No.12686713
    Oh holy fucking shit, that's amazing!
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)05:29 No.12686741
    Dude. Writefag this shit. Tell the whole story, sounds retardedly hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)05:31 No.12686756
    The only thing I can think when I see this picture is how much I want to feel him die. It's like an itch on my palms, I just want to feel that squirming thing the adams apple does when the body realizes its dying.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)06:34 No.12686961
    This reminds me of a thing a friend of mine and I used to do on Gaia online. We had these two characters, Freddie and Brock. He was Freddie, I was Brock. Freddie was a short squat little goblin dude who seemed to randomly have either a new jersey or chicago accent, depending on the day of the week. He weilded a crossbow that always had too few bolts and a small leather kilt. Brock was a minotaur, about 8-foot tall, massive, horns and shit, you know, minotaur stuff. Anyway, we had it set up so Brock carried Freddie around on either on his back or on his chest in what was effectively one of those baby-backpacks where they'll have the baby strapped down to the mother's chest or what-have-you.

    So we've got this massive block of muscle and fur carrying a bossy little goblin around in a baby sling. The kicker is that we only used the characters in modern vampire games.

    This was before the dawn of Twilight, so it was more on the order of Vampire: The Masquerade style vampires, but it was Gaia, so it was still really faggoty.

    We'd just randomly show up in whatever town the action was taking place in and start hunting down vampires, always ranting about how we were only doing it for the big payday from our 'boss'.

    I'll describe how we proceeded to wreck shit in the next post.
    >> Paladin Strelok 11/05/10(Fri)06:52 No.12687018
    Gentlemen, is it wrong of my to want to try and create an Oscar Equivalent character (A character who does nothing to advance the plot or interact with the characters until they come to him), say a red army officer whose sole joy in life is found drinking vodka, reading, smoking and driving his Zaphorets to the shops to buy more vodka/ciggerettes in a continual drunken stupor.

    am i a bad person for this, or is this a semi decent idea?
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)06:58 No.12687045
    Okay, so Freddie and Brock appear in the harsh wastelands of modern New York city, conveniently spawning in an alley right in the dead center of plot-ville. Just after our introductory posts which were mostly Freddie struggling to get comfortable in his sling, and some mildly humorous argueing between the two, Dante Kratos McAlucard, lord of the Sues, jumps out of a tenth-story window, randomly slamming some dude into the ground 'liquifying his corpse on impact'.

    Deciding not to notice the sudden breakdown of physics here, Brock and Freddie jump into action, or should I say, out of the alley. Brock start's swinging his giant axe around manically, while Freddie fires off a few Neptunium plated crossbow bolts at him from his little holster. The troll logic in play here was that since Silver is arbitrarily super-effective against supernatural creatures, why wouldn't Neptunium, which is twice as large as Silver, be twice as effective?


    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)07:01 No.12687059
    Anyway, the character we were facing was not very amused, asking us who sent us to kill him, while of course parying every attack.

    All we would tell him is 'the boss' gave us 'the contract' and if we brought the vampire's head in he'd give us 'the artifact'. And then fire off another volley of crossbow bolts.

    The sue, in true form, took this all to be a very serious plot hook and began fighting us to the death, bringing all his powers to bear against us, which apparently included summoning lightning, slicing his sword at 'the speed of sound', and basically having logic-defying matrix-inspired althletic prowess.

    All we had at our disposal was barely-superhuman strength and a goblin.

    Needless to say, we kicked his pansy ass.

    We were able to get off a single bolt into the dude's eye and high-tailed it into the nearest building. This being new-york, the nearest building was about 60 stories high. We calmly took an elevator up to the top floor and spent about 6 posts with just brock and freddie calmly discussing the quality of the elevator music.

    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)07:02 No.12687065

    Upon reaching the roof, we were glad to see the vampire/demon-slayer/god-of-thunder/mechagodzilla climbing up the skyscraper. As he bounded up onto the roof Brock threw his massive axe at him, impaling the Vampire in the chest and knocking him off the roof. Brock jumped off after him, freddie firing off every bolt in his arsenal at him during the fall. Just before impact Brock kicked off the axe, both pushing it deeper into the vampire and pushing him off to land safely on the ground, in a grand display of troll physics.

    Having killed one of the main characters of the plot, and having several OOC posts from the other characters talking about how awesome we were, we cut off the vamp's head, and began making our way to the mysterious boss.

    It turns out, both Brock and Freddie thought that the other had made the contact with the Boss and were simply following the other's lead, thinking the other knew something they didn't.

    There was no boss, no contract, no artifact. Just Brock and Freddie, and a dead main antagonist.

    Brock and Freddie, seeing their mission accomplished and their rations depleted, move off to greener pastures,deciding to cut their losses and leaving the thread to decay into nothingness shortly thereafter.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)07:05 No.12687081
    Archive this right now, dammit.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)07:26 No.12687173


    I'm bumping this, because sup/tg/ needs two hours to update and include this shit. And it needs to be included.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)07:32 No.12687191
    Good to know, bumping to help ensure my tale is preserved.
    >> Paladin Strelok 11/05/10(Fri)07:40 No.12687220

    Gentlemen, from the lack of replies to my previous post(>>12687018) would you be so kind as to inform me of whether or not the idea i posted there is good or not worth it? as i'd like to give it a shot, but would perfer to have some sort of positive backing first.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)07:47 No.12687254

    Oscar in spirit is still Oscar. If you're unable to shoehorn him in, you can probably change him somewhat while staying Kosher. The problem is that Weed is not only much more portable and potent than Alcohol, and tends to cause better shenanigans.

    If, however, he began sharing his "Secret Imported Cigar Stash" with his new best friends...
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)07:55 No.12687289
    Since this has essentially become a troll character idea thread I'll throw my own into the mix.

    Mr Wilpole and Mr Penimal.

    Mr Wilpole and Mr Penimal can be adapted to any setting, but they remain fairly constant. They are the Bureau of Legal Affairs. An outdated institution dedicated to enforcing the laws of the land, no matter how out of date or unused, acting on the authority of a king long dead.

    Mr Wilpole is Clerk Grade 3 of Legal issues of Legal Affairs.
    Mr Penimal is Clerk Grade 2.5 of Health and Safety.

    The only powers they have at their disposal are the abilities to issue fines, payable within three to five working days and the ability to quote vague laws with reference to many many sub-clauses.

    More coming if anyone's interested.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:01 No.12687309

    Roleplaying red tape?

    I am looking forward to loot tax documents being filled out for several posts, broadsword permits sent to an abandoned registering center now occupied by kobolds (Who cannot be legally evicted thanks to squatter's regulation 51) and a drawn out courtroom battle between the two as defendant and prosecutor for an obvious traitor.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:03 No.12687318
    bamp for the bamp God!
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:07 No.12687335
    Good to know my exploits are entertaining even following tales of Oscar.
    >> Paladin Strelok 11/05/10(Fri)08:07 No.12687337
    I like the Cigar Idea.

    i shall make the necessary amendments!
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:22 No.12687401

    Normally, this would be funny. However...

    >sword permits
    >Sir, do you have the required permits to be carrying what appears to be a blade forged in the fires of the sun and blessed by a thousand crying virgin nuns?
    >No? I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you a fine.
    >No, murdering me will not make the fine go away.
    >Yes, you can pay the fine at your nearest courthouse within three to five days in order to sort this out.
    >Yes, you can also get permits there, but you'll have to turn in the weapon for inspection and make sure that it's up to OSHA Regulations that were passed last June.
    >No, you can't pick up a regulation manual at the courthouse. Reading material on the subject can be requested with this form, signed in triplicate, and mailed to the Bureau of Swordsman Safety and you'll have to wait three to five weeks for it to be sent to you in the mail. Be sure to write legibly, to make things as easy as possible.
    >I'm sorry, sir?
    >You're also a mage?
    >Oh dear... I imagine you don't have a permit for the spells you can cast, do you?

    The mental image alone makes me cackle with glee.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:26 No.12687419
    Stolen for next campaign, I've been trying to come up with a painfully anal retentive Bureaucrat NPC to join my player's party for a quest involving staying at a foregin nation's royal palace, and this will do nicely.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:27 No.12687430

    You got it.

    Now, this wasn't technically a freeform RPG they got started in, it was a World of Warcraft Rp server a couple of years ago.

    Anyone who has ever played on one of the Rp servers there will know that it's pretty much the same as a freeform RPG, you'll get the same silly Mary Sues flexing their muscles.

    Now, on your average WoW Rp server you've got two severe shitzones, firstly Goldshire, where you'll get lollers, and secondly, Stormwind's Old Town inn, where you'll get Night Elf assassins, backflipping ninjas and half naked Draenei. This story takes place in the latter.

    Enter Mr Wilpole and Mr Penimal, here to conduct the Pig and Whistle's Annual health and safety review. As we walked in there were the usual suspects scattered around so we immediately proceeded to stroll around the inn, making notes on our clipboards about potential hazards, as we were discussing whether a loose screw on one of the chairs needed to be noted under a form 28:C32 or a form 29:D57 a fight broke out between two of the assassin characters.

    Now naturally, we ignored it entirely, it's a matter for the guards after all, not the Bureau of Legal Affairs but then we notice a problem. One of them is wearing a long cloak, about an inch longer than regulation 582 allows, making it a potential tripping hazard.

    Just as he backflips over the table we calmly and politely interject by tapping him on the shoulder. His opponent stares on in stupor as we inform him of the potential hazard create by his cloak and how we'll regretfully need to issue a fine. Before he can say anything in a return a ticket is ripped off and handed politely to him. Naturally he curses us and throws the fine back in our face. "Oh dear sir, you seem to have dropped it! Not a problem, I'll just write another one up quickly". A second fine is stuck to this Elven assassin's shoulderpad.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:27 No.12687431
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    You know, I often find it funny how relatively harmless characters in worlds full of reality-warpers are often the most popular. I mean, Oscar was nothing more than a regular guy who loved to get stoned, and yet he seems to be one of the most popular characters in most of the RPs he joins. I'm surprised how often that works out.

    I joined a Freeform RP that takes place in a Disgaea Netherworld created by a Demon Gardeviore...figure that one out. Now, my OC is kinda unorthodox. He is a mass of shapeshifting leeches. Basing his powers off of the DND swarm-shifter template and using the Putrid Leech MTG card art, this little shapeshifter has become one of the most beloved characters in the RPworld.

    I created him to be a troll, so he acts like a massive asshole. And because of this...he gets killed quite often. In fact, he has never won a fight, and has been killed in more ways than Rasputin. Given that he's essentially thousands of tiny leeches, he never keeps all of himself in one place, and as such keeps coming back. So while reality-warping characters are off destroying cities, this little shapeshifter does shit like get drunk and spray paint how much he rules on highway overpasses. Or he's hiding and watching other people's characters in the shower. Or he's harassing women with lines that would make Jhonny Bravo cringe.

    And yet, the RP seems to love him, as evidenced by the fact that most godmode characters find him amusing, and he's played tentacle monster to more than a few of the RP's /d/eviants. I dunno what it is about mostly-harmless characters in a world populated by a majority of hax-level characters, but they always seem to be the most popular.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:28 No.12687435

    Now by this stage the whole bar are watching us, the roleplay has been turned from a backflip knife throwing session into an explanation of when this guy is going to need to submit his fine, where he should post it and who he should contact should there be any further questions regarding payment. By this stage his opponent had just wandered off. Now the elf decides to try and retain his ego.

    He swears loudly at us and is issued with a written warning for breach of the public decency laws, subsection 32:B.

    He drops the written warning on the ground and is issued with a fine for littering.

    He knocks Mr Penimals Papers out of his hands and is issued a small fine for mis-arranging important paperwork.

    A Draenei attempts to interfere and is given a warning for breaching issue 73:D regarding propositioning an official.

    He throws a handful of gold at Mr Penimal and Wilpole and is issued a fine for bribing a public official.

    After this the guy issued one last curse before storming off into the night. Mr Wilpole and Mr Penimal wished him a pleasant evening and headed back to the Bureau to catch up on some important paperwork.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:34 No.12687461

    Other adventures these two have gotten up to involve:

    Issuing a large fine to a corpse for dying within Stormwind Castle. (Got the idea from a real life UK law stating it's illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament).

    Fining the Defias Guild's leader for illegal dumping after he shot someone and they fell into the canals.

    Having a hero arrested by the watch after he slew a dragon without first applying for a permit.

    Accidentally mailing Stormwind resident's details to the Lich King and successfully prosecuting Stormwind Tax and Revenue for regicide.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:34 No.12687463
    Great, now I have to ensure the thread remains alive even longer so that THIS can get archived.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:41 No.12687497
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:42 No.12687501
    Ah shit, it's started to autosage.
    Cya then thread, I guess. We had a good run.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:44 No.12687511

    The truth of the matter is that it's less the power that the character in question has and more the attitude they've got that makes them loved.

    Freeform roleplaying is more or less about LISTEN TO MY STORYYYYY. Generally speaking, the people that play in them are too busy telling their own stories to listen to anyone else, and they don't stop their own tales to listen to the ones others are trying to tell. It usually results in huge fights because no one is listening. But when you introduce a character that has a willing ear and no real need to tell a story, i.e. an NPC-type character like Oscar, they'll lap it up and do almost everything in their power to make sure that that character sticks around... even to the point of letting the guy do goofy shit later on that causes the enough disruption to end the game.

    All you have to do to get them to eat out of the palm of your hand is listen for a few hours.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:44 No.12687512
    Cya thread, we had some good times, and even better laughs.
    Oscar, you will be missed.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:44 No.12687514
    Best thread ;_;
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:46 No.12687524
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    Thank you, oh glorious OP, for providing us with this revival of such ancient history.
    May you one day lose your virginity.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:49 No.12687541
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    >OP here
    Thanks everyone for the archive, and all the comments.
    Also, in another recently archived thread:
    >Karl the Janitor. Karl was essentially the opposite side of Oscar the stoner.
    >MFW my name is Karl
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:50 No.12687543

    You....you've been FATED by the GODS to play Oscar!
    You MUST continue on with your quest, and bring to us more stories of this character!
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:52 No.12687550
    Did the thread get fully archived yet?
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)08:53 No.12687555
    Only up to
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:06 No.12687602
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:09 No.12687613

    Resubmit the thread, but add garbage characters to the nessesary fields. sup/tg/ will recheck the thread and save anything it doesn't have.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:09 No.12687615
    It has already been done.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:12 No.12687634

    Actually, I think he may have meant the man responsible for the thread.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:14 No.12687638
    I am that man.
    I'm staying around to make copypastas of any more stories that may get put up, just in case the archive misses them.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:17 No.12687650
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:17 No.12687652

    I think we're having another misunderstanding.

    It's clear from his lack of a comma that he wants us to archive the man responsible for the thread, meaning you.

    I mean, I don't really know what happens during an archival, but I'm fairly certain we could excuse the fallout to future generations by saying SCIENCE!
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:19 No.12687662
    Aw shucks, now I feel like an idiot for being too tired to figure that out.

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