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  • File : 1288900342.jpg-(709 KB, 648x987, elbrutalo.jpg)
    709 KB Not OP !rfjsJRDkeU 11/04/10(Thu)15:52 No.12678646  
    ITT: Characters You're Not Allowed To Play

    -Gustav Schlemiel, Holocaust-denying Rabbi
    -The science love-child of Hitler and Elvis
    -Matthew "Diddler" Collins, Gentleman Rapist
    -Silktooth the exotic dancer Orc
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)15:54 No.12678664
    Hogan, the Troll Wrestler. (shadowrun)
    A Cleric.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)15:57 No.12678691
    Not my character but:
    Lustal Deaththrust, evil bard who kills people by raping them to death.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:11 No.12678786
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    A unnamed Gnome Rapist in a "evil" 3.5 game. (as in, a rapist gnome)

    I even made a custom prestige class for him, and it wasn't even over-powered!
    >> Zach !!m1zNwNhpIw+ 11/04/10(Thu)16:12 No.12678794
    Zea Brine, a CtL character. To be specific, a six-foot-six gobblegut/gargantuan ogre that used to be a four-foot-six cheerleader. She wasn't a particularly good cheerleader, but she was the nicest and prettiest. This really didn't change when she escaped her brutish Keeper.

    She started growing goblin fruits and seeling them to other changelings. Eventually a huge guido named Big Mike and his hoodrat-guido gang killed a loyalist changeling, thinking he was a pedophile. After that, Big Mike found a wierd token that let him see changelings for what they really were. He went after the PCs, specifically Zea. His obsession with ethnicity and modifying cars made him a sort of Mussolini-cum-Lord Humungus, an anti-intellectual alpha male jackoff capable of bashing a guy's brains out with his homemade spiked knuckles. Spiked knuckles that had - interestingly enough - been hammered from pieces of cold iron.

    He saw Zea as a big threat due to her size and wanted her dead. With his beastly strength and cowardly tactics, he tried using sheer numbers against the motley, only to find them vanishing into the Hedge. By the time Zea had developed a strong connection to her Wyrd (Wyrd 7), Big Mike had modified his muscle car until it was a nitro-blasting battering ram of anti-goblin death.

    The GM wanted this to be an epic, drawn-out game of cat and mouse, where Zea's cunning and agility would be put to the test, the latter being a particular weak spot. The others were going through their own ordeals.

    Big Mike had pummeled two changelings and one vampire to death with the assistance of his thirty or so hoodie-wearing buddies. He knew almost nothing about the supernatural, other than that anyone not like him was a "fah-ree fay-gid" and had to die. And after being a long, grueling pain the ass while we had been busy with freehold politics and economics, he became a serious fucking threat.
    >> DH DM 11/04/10(Thu)16:14 No.12678807
    La Puma, a cleric/fighter luchadore with an MD and a habit.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:15 No.12678815
    >-The science love-child of Hitler and Elvis
    I would totally let you play Hitvis/Eller/Eivlir. I'd let you play them all actually.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:17 No.12678822

    This is your gaming group's new party of characters. Yes, they're serious. No, you're not playing FATAL. Yes, you do have to be DM.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:17 No.12678830
         File1288901872.jpg-(176 KB, 800x593, 1202584359099.jpg)
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    People cringe whenever I make a cleric due to me sticking to the deity's beliefs disturbingly much. They'd just prefer a quiet healbot instead of strong opinions. Pic sort of related.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:18 No.12678836
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    Okay, this made me laugh combined with the pic.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:20 No.12678844

    The three rapists attempt to rape a great wrym bronze dragon who was walking around polymorphed as a 18 year old novice priestess of the goddess of mercy. Problem solves itself.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:20 No.12678851
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    In this thread, borderline autism.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:22 No.12678862
    Party has the dice gods favor nat 20s everywhere. DM is not so lucky, nat 1's and 2's.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:23 No.12678869
    Furfag looks happy.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:24 No.12678873
    You aren't banned from making him, he just sucked
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:25 No.12678875
    when did the dice gods start favoring rapists?
    >> Not OP !rfjsJRDkeU 11/04/10(Thu)16:25 No.12678880

    That can be irritating, though. Lost count of the number of times someone played a Cuthbert cleric (or worshipper) and decided to kill a captured enemy BEFORE the party had a chance to interrogate any plot-relevant information he might have.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:25 No.12678882
    Half of these are funny. Half of these are dur hurr rapists from mid-teenagers. Try harder /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:26 No.12678885
    Everyone in this thread is that guy.

    I am that guy.

    We are that guy.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:26 No.12678888
    I have banned myself from ever playing a half celestial gigolo again.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:28 No.12678899
    For complicated reasons I have a character damned to remain in the astral plane for all eternity.

    The DM forbade me from having him find the dead infant son of one of the party members who killed him before said infant moved on to the properly aligned afterlife (I'd assume true neutral) and then raise him.

    Basically I was told something to the effect of "That's stupid, you're not doing that." which I kind of took to be "I have plans for that kid and your character is supposed to remain in his eternal prison doing nothing"
    >> Not OP !rfjsJRDkeU 11/04/10(Thu)16:30 No.12678912
    OH! I forgot some more of mine.

    Philosophical Phil, owner of the fast food franchise "Philosophical Phil's Falafels" (Philophilfals for short)

    To this day merely mentioning falafel earns me a black look from one of my group.

    Botch And/Or Fumble, comically unlucky goons in a bromance.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:32 No.12678926
    My banned character type:
    >Rifts Crazies

    >Too good at it

    I got an entire town ready to kill us because I kicked people's dogs and then did a back flip over the sheriff and spanked him. Yeah...
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:32 No.12678931
    A 3 Life/3 Mind mage in Mage: the Ascension named "Lord Windsor Thrustingham" whose main method of attack is turning people gay and making them hump each other.
    >> Not OP !rfjsJRDkeU 11/04/10(Thu)16:34 No.12678941

    I would like to subscribe to your newsletter sir.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:36 No.12678960
    I'm banned from making a mage in any WoD game. Apparently my creative thaumaturgy skills are too great.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:37 No.12678967
    A colorblind troubleshooter named Silas-R.

    He was the loyalty officer.
    >> Zach !!m1zNwNhpIw+ 11/04/10(Thu)16:37 No.12678974
    Zea had just led a bunch of Big MIke's hoodrat buddies into the Hedge, where they fell prey to stained glass alligators. When she left the twisting, tiled Hedge and its swamp baths, she found herself on an abandoned parking lot in the bad part of town. Four bright lights and the deafening roar of a heavily modified engine met her return.

    A scarlet muscle car sat fifty feet in front of her, complete with a massive hood vent and back fin. The grille and bumper were covered in dull spikes, two black racing stripes going down the length of the thing. Big Mike was in the driver's seat, revving the engine and grinning broadly.

    The parking lot was surrounded by buildings, the alleys wide enough for a muscle car to fly through with ease. The GM decided that this should be some twisted game of Pac-Man, with Zea being a scared ghost.

    Zea was never a violent one. The only weapon she had was a bowie knife, and that was something she used more for cooking than hurting. She knew how to use a snubnose revolver and owned one, but it enver saw use beyond weekly practice. The only contract she used was Thorns and Brambles, and that was twice.

    But the GM wasn't prepared for what she did. No one was.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:38 No.12678980

    That goddamn pic just ruined my existence. I had never considered furries were really REAL. You know...shit that happens to other people. But I did know someone who was like pic related when they were young and he's my roommate. So I turn on his pc, hit Firefox's history and WTF IS THIS BULLSHIT?!?

    Goddammit /tg/.

    Oh. I'm not allowed to play anything that has any combat value whatsoever. I am specifically forbidden to NOT play a worthless character. Hasn't stopped me from becoming a Sister of Battle, destroying helicopters with a power axe, commanding a capital ship in fleet wars, and so on. I usually end a campaign with a proper title, or one bestowed by my subjects. Like when I took a heroin junkie with 0 combat ability and ended up as the head of the Colombian Cartels.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:38 No.12678981
    My nWoD Hunter who dragged six vampires to their deaths behind his pickup truck got me banned from playing:
    - vampire-specific Hunters
    - people who own pickup trucks
    - Texans

    My oWoD Cult of Ecstasy Mage who spent his non-adventuring time as a surfers' rights advocate got me banned from playing:
    - surfers
    - CoE
    - anyone in a position to have a "surf-off" for control over a beach
    - people from California

    2 down, 48 to go and I'll be banned from playing Americans completely.
    Next up, Wisconsin!
    >> PaladinGuy !!0ZL3cy8TJ55 11/04/10(Thu)16:40 No.12678989
    ...that... that's BRILLIANT!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:42 No.12679004
    He's not a bad sort if he's been keeping it to himself. He should know well enough to clear his browsing history though.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:43 No.12679012
    Anything in GURPS with the improvised weapon skill.

    Vibrator nunchaku.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:46 No.12679026

    Ahh, well, thats a good point. If I hadn't known him so many years I wouldn't have guessed, so you're definitely right.

    I think I'll mention cleaning my computer's history (which I already do naturally) just so he maybe starts thinking about his own though, that way no one else can accidentally find out.
    >> Zach !!m1zNwNhpIw+ 11/04/10(Thu)16:46 No.12679031
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    Zea never put her kith blessings to any use before. As a dual kith, she had two blessings. As a gobblegut, she got the giant merit for free: +1 to her size and therefore +1 health dot. But her increased size came at the cost of lots of girth, so fitting through doors was hard and all stealth checks were at -2. As a gargantuan, her spurious stature let her increase her size by her Wyrd. By the time Big Mike thought he had her trapped, Zea's Wyrd was at 7.

    At size 6, Zea could grow in size by 7. 6+7=13. That's the size of a jeep. The muscle car was size 12.

    As Big Mike's beloved ride rushed towards the huge young woman, the GM expected me to send Zea's six-foot-broad butt wobbling out of the way. Instead, Zea grew in size and hopped up, landing belly-first onto the horrified BBEG (Big Bad Evil Guido). The car came to an abrupt stop as the engine was sent into the underlying pavement, the driver dying a slow, painful death under one massive ex-cheerleader.

    The GM raged and wanted me to swear I'd never do something like that again. Everyone else was cracking up. It was *his* responsibility to keep check of shit like as well as mine, so I couldn't swear such a stupid oath.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:46 No.12679033
    My ST is supportive of my making enough characters over a long enough period to have me banned from playing, provided I give each one their own flavor. Any incidents of repeat motifs and I would be forced to play a Russian, which is always fun for the rest of the group, but I hate having to keep my voice in my old accent.
    >Elocution lessons, my ancient foe...
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:51 No.12679061
    You went out of your way to invade his privacy, man. Just saying. Not that it's a bad thing to give him some advice anyway.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:51 No.12679067
    rolled 9 = 9

    Oh dear god yes What's your plan?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:55 No.12679101
    For Wisconsin?
    I have a few ideas in mind, just to clear out potential craziness early on.
    - narcotics officer/cheese contest entrant
    - Changeling (troll) hockey player
    - NPR DJ with a lisp and an addiction to beef jerky

    Open to suggestions.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:56 No.12679103
    This is a public forum, and his GM might be listening.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:56 No.12679104
    Any ex-nazis. Or still-nazis for that matter.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:58 No.12679129
    I'm not allowed to play Malkavians

    This is after playing one with split personality disorder who switched between famous vampires. Mostly it's that people got pissed because for the first half of stuff he always fit what he was doing. Time to murder bitches, good job rolling Dio Brando. Fancy party, lets be Dracula. Then he starts rolling all the wrong personalities (mostly being Dio a lot more often than he can get away with)

    I also had a Malkavian who was basically a vampire version of a cleaner. Go in, mop up the blood for later, feed bodies to pigs, and leave a lemony fresh scent that doesn't violate the masquerade. People didn't like that he had OCD out the ass and would clean everything regardless of whether or not it was a good idea.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:59 No.12679138
    Any kind of cleric.

    Any kind of paladin.

    Anything chaotic.

    Anything that isn't described in extreme detail in some source book.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)16:59 No.12679144
    rolled 24 = 24

    Hunting fanatic is a big one in Wisconsin. Same with drinking.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:02 No.12679158
    Also, it's been hinted that I may not be allowed to play chaotic anymore. This is after playing a sorc who is more or less an angrier Rincewind. Most of the time he ends up running away and trying very hard not to die but somehow or another he always came out on top. Hell, he once kited some sort of collossal ancient dire tyrannosaurus into an army since no one else could come up with a better plan.

    Actually... he decimated most of that army by himself thanks to that and the wondergolem incident
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:02 No.12679163
    just play exalted - it'd fit right in

    -Gustav Schlemiel, Holocaust-denying Rabbi
    > solar zenith caste priest in denial of the usurpation. constantly trying to befriend the dragonblooded

    -The science love-child of Hitler and Elvis
    >the same as above, just include some performance specialties

    -Matthew "Diddler" Collins, Gentleman Rapist
    >also the same guy

    in fact, you could do all three at the same time. exalted is like that.

    -Silktooth the exotic dancer Orc
    >social charm lunar or high breeding dragonblood... or social assumption raksha noble

    >Alchemical orichalcum caste diplomat and preacher

    too easy
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:03 No.12679167
    Maybe your GM doesn't actually want you to play.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:04 No.12679179
    In which case, I think I'll build up the next Hunter as a deer hunter with a case of cognitive dissonance.
    >Oooooo-weeeee! Ten pointer!
    Ray, you shot a man in the chest.
    >No, I took out that elk, son. Damned fine shot. Damned fine. Hand me another Iron City.

    I think I can make that work.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:05 No.12679183
    I am banned from playing as the Ships AI. Someone was going to ram the enemy dreadnaught into their capital city at full speed sooner or later. I just wanted to make sure that I was the War Hero / Horrific killer then went down in the history book for killing 25 million people, and ending the 200 year long war between our people, not some half assed naval captain.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:09 No.12679217
    What setting/game is this in?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:12 No.12679239
    D&D 3.5
    Gabriel Dougherty, 25 year old human male merc.

    Rather than level up normally and follow one class, he just takes one level in each class then moves on.

    We are level 20. He is shit. He is beyond shit. The only thing he's good at in terms of class abilities is a metric fuckton of cantrips and 1st levellers.

    What worst, the real kicker, is, partly because of INT and WIS 16 in a party of retards, he's the most effective character. It's enough to make me cry.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:14 No.12679250
    Rifts character I never got to use. I decided to make, for my own amusement, the most munchkin, obnoxious, weeaboo character I could.

    First, the weeaboo background: how to get someone from glorious nipon into the states after the rifts? You know how japan had heavy technology contacts with the united states pre-rifts? He's the young child of japanese old money, in town demoing a cryogenics system for his family when the rifts happen. He is left frozen in the cryopod, burried in the wreckage of a city. When the power eventually runs down, it thaws him out before the battery fails.

    Now for the munchkinism: The rifts change him, making him a super. He get a fairly simple speed/strength/toughness set of powers, and I have to choose a P.C.C. for him. I choose Dedicated Martial Artist, under the assumption that he was raised Very Traditionaly by old money. He knows Akido and Zanji Shinjinken-Ryu, and is well trained in caligraphy and bonsai, and has a few low level business related skills. He's never been in a real fight in his life, and is a staunch pacifist.

    It's even got a delicious touch of rule bending: supers aren't allowed to have soldier P.C.C.s, but the ninjas and superpies book's classes aren't laid out into categories like the rifts main book P.C.C.s, the category of the dedicated martial artist is left up in the air. Since neither his teacher, parents, peers, or himself ever envisioned his upbringing as anything other than a scholarly and artistic pursuit though, the dedicated martial artist class would fit in with the scientist and doctor more than the soldier, wouldn't it?
    >> Geckilian !fDaniYdbO6 11/04/10(Thu)17:14 No.12679253
    Tuln Elcurt, the certified diploficer in a 3.5 game. Turns out, a filofax of holding is not appreciated in the long run.

    Also, though he's not banned, 'Merc-killer Owlbane Simon "The Panda Ender" Harris, He Who Kills the Boars' in the current True20 campaign I'm in is stealthy to the extent that the DM doesn't bother rolling notice checks against him any more.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:15 No.12679261

    The reason he comes under "Characters You're Not Allowed To Play" is because I've now banned myself from using him since last weekend. I can't take it anymore.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:16 No.12679274

    i am not allowed to make a sidereal with a custom charm called "resplendant buttflow prana" - it makes people have spontaneous diarrhea (great for preventing social engagements, or stunning opponents in combat)

    also, playing a lunar with the ability to shapeshift into a Candiru fish... not popular (its a tiny fish that swims up your urethra and eats you from inside)
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:22 No.12679318
    Karl Kotte, a gunsmith. It's not so much that the GM forbids me from playing him as that the party won't let me. You see, his guns usually ended up a wee bit unstable and prone to explode or misfire at the most inopportune moments.

    There was also the incident with the gyrojet rifle I built out of a fan and some steel pipes, but that was totally sweet, and I can't be blamed for the shitty wiring in cheap Korean electronics.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:22 No.12679320
    A Dwarven fighter/ reaping mauler/ rogue by the name of "The beard"

    He once followed a party of adventures around, passing himself off as an expert who would cook and clean for the PCs. When the fights began, he would slip off and turn into his super hero alter ego, THE BEARD, Dwarven Wrestler supreme. He would save the PCs, then vanish in a smoke stick fulled explosion. Wasn't allowed to play him because reaping mauler is Hax
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:24 No.12679328
    Warforged Paladin.

    Plays like a Terminator. Mostly lines of, "Detecting...." when spoken to by other beings. When spoken to, hearing, or seeing someone new, "Detecting..."

    If the person is Evil?
    "Detecting.... DETECTED! SMITING!"

    Followed by a battle to the death, usually him being victorious. Then back to, "Detecting..."

    Was particularly bad when I smote the same person's character three times in a row. (His own damned fault for rolling Chaotic Evil Rogues all the time.)
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:28 No.12679364
    I think I might do that one of these days
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:30 No.12679375
    He also thought he was the male lead from a romance novel and was constantly on the prowl for "headstrong young women who can tame my throbbing, wild heart".

    He saw his magic as a means to help other people find "true love". It wasn't his fault that the enemy only sent male-gendered jackboots at him - the jackboots would just have to learn to make do.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:30 No.12679377
    Banned from playing a magic-based character in any setting.


    I play it real cool til about level 17 and then turn into Action from West Side Story and go apeshit at the slightest possible disrespect.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:31 No.12679386

    Its a homebrewed sci fi setting the GM made up. Basically its kinda similar to mass effect with a galactic council of 8-10 species running most of the shit going on in the galaxy and a large section of "lawless" space.

    Anyways this happened during the "Five years previously" part of the first session which was to explain some of the current events going on in the setting. We had been fighting a massive space battle in the last battle of a surprise offensive launched by the human version of Thrawn, but the enemy theocracy basically had the Veros fighting to the death instead of surrendering, and the other races were hoping to jump in after the humans and Veros had burned themselves out and claim their resource rich space.

    As a result of my AI being crazy enough to pull a colony drop with a 5 km long ship going a thousand or so KPS on Artilos Nu, I killed off the Hierarchs who were sustaining the war, the Veros surrendered, and the UTA was able to demand a few concessions, such as a seat on the council, mostly on grounds of "Artemis is totally fucking insane man, don't fuck with her". Also my AI ended up going rampant and carved an empire out of that formerly belonging to another alien race. I have a feeling 'she' may end up being the BBEG. I play the ships Medical Officer now, mostly due to the massive backlash against AI's that Artemis's actions have caused.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:34 No.12679401

    >out of a region of space that formerly belonged to another alien race.

    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:35 No.12679409
    Cheddarhead virologist.
    Bio-warfare at it's finest.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:37 No.12679422
    "Despite being a paragon of humanity in his alternate reality, 'Good Hitler' is not an acceptable superhero archatype"
    -1400 things Mr Welch is no longer allowed to do in an RPG
    >> Kuprin 11/04/10(Thu)17:37 No.12679424
    My group has told me I'm more or less never allowed to play an engineer. :p
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:40 No.12679437

    Swashbucklers. Because I always end up playing monster classes (GM Gestalts because we only have 2-3 players) Past characters include:

    Half brass golem half human who fluffed his golem bits as steampunk arms.

    The Tarrasque, With a great big fucking hat, fancy embroidered blue cloak and white gloves.

    A gelatinous cube with the previously mentioned equipment floating around in him.

    An awakened monstrous crab, With cloak and hat.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:41 No.12679442
    Sounds good, I would ask for more stories, but that doesn't fit in the thread, perhaps some other time.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:42 No.12679450
    Anyone with access to undead and/or explosives.

    Let's say that stuffing dynamite inside zombies is apparently frowned upon. As in attaching dynamite to rats you control, attaching dynamite to yourself, attaching dynamite to someone's flaming sword, and using telekinetic powers to become a human grenade launcher.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:50 No.12679496
    The idea of a dimension hopping "Good Hitler" trying to set right the wrongs of his counterparts would be an awesome super hero
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:51 No.12679513
    No matter how high his Appearance stat, my Eclipse caste Solar cannot be called "Bulges Suggestively"
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:52 No.12679520
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    and i wish i has the source for context.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)17:53 No.12679523
    It's not so much a case of what I play; more a matter of what I carry around with me: I'm banned from having more than a single page's (one sided, size 12 font, etc) worth of items on hand.
    >> Blackheart !!d+z47tvchVl 11/04/10(Thu)17:54 No.12679534
    /r/ sauce from God. Please, I never asked for much...
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:20 No.12679740
    So why did Elaine from Seinfeld track down Hitler?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:23 No.12679748

    It's manga, I ain't gotta explain shit.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:26 No.12679780
    Archived: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12678646/
    >> Medic !!2XdZXXIUy+Y 11/04/10(Thu)18:33 No.12679844

    Never allowed to play wizards.

    After the fifth time, putting explosive runes a collar and attaching them on stray cats is not the definition of funny.

    But it is chaotic as hell.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:41 No.12679913
    Well I didn't get banned from playing crabs but I do have a story that might have gotten me banned from playing Crab-clan with a more aspie DM.

    The scorpion in our party talked up a lot of crap, and one day after bragging about how great our dragon bushi was he accidentally got said bushi involved in a duel with someone who was interested in seeing the magnificent skills the Scorpion described.

    Crab-san was furious with the Scorpion for not mentioning his incredible skills. He immediatley challenged the Dragon to a duel for the right to duel the Crane. So instead of fighting the impressed Crane the Dragon fought with my Crab bushi.

    The duel oddly enough ended in a tie. The crane was so impressed with the both of use that he invited us to stay in his mansion for the night. It was all very amusing but the Dragon was still a little miffed that I acted so brashly. Had it gone on longer I'm sure I would have continued to do equally silly things.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)18:50 No.12679993
    No longer allowed to play Ed Wunxler. Especially not in a Power Rangers game.
    >> Lantern !!3m0Phyi9QSi 11/04/10(Thu)18:52 No.12680005
    PCs I'm no longer allowed to play:

    Duff the Diplomancer. A quarter-gnome/three-fourths human bard who was too good at talking fast and sounding smart. He once stole a bank and blamed it on the king. The city believed him.

    Karl the Janitor. Karl was essentially the opposite side of Oscar the stoner. Karl was a cigarette-smoking, high-strung, unhappy loner. He didn't derail the game by ignoring it, really, but by refusing outright to participate in its shenanigans. There was too much work to be done. He once told an ogre, whom was mauling a child, to "cut it out." The DM didn't know his Intimidate was so high. He was once rerolled in a WoD game. Three vampires, a werewolf and a mage. Karl was mortal. He was also the only one left alive in the end. In the final scene before the game crashed, he put the werewolf's head and the mage's spellbook in a trashbag and took it to the dumpster.

    James Richards. Setting? Silent Hill. His wife went urban adventuring to Silent Hill and never came back, while he sat around drunk and playing piano. Finally, his wife's friend convinces him to come with her and go find the wife. Upon entering Silent Hill, James has these items in his backpack: Carton of Cigarettes, Lighter, Box of Matches, Two Pairs of Clean Socks, Sunglasses, Flask of Whiskey. An acoustic guitar was hung by a strap over his shoulder. James survived his first Hellmode by taking a swig of whiskey and screaming at monsters down in the street before Pyramid Head burst into the hotel room and James ran out the window, up the fire escape, and waited behind a pile of trash on the roof. He accidentally blew up the hospital when the group knocked a gasline loose and he tossed a lit match near it. The hospital was a couple of blocks away when it exploded, and James just turned around and went, "Shit!"
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)19:01 No.12680077
    >>stole a bank
    Wait. You mean he took the BANK or just the contents?
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)19:09 No.12680137
    Ug'Okka the Moderately Interesting - A half-ogre Psychic Warrior hellbent on gnomish genocide, during a run in with a group of gnomish wanderers he clubbed one to death and used it as a cock-sheath

    I had to convince the DM to let me make a new character instead of just kicking me out, but it was so worth it
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)19:18 No.12680230
    I'm not longer allowed to make my own characters, period. I have to tell my GM or DM what I want to play and they roll the stats for it and pick the feats they think aren't too powerful. I think it's just because I play on a different level than my current group. My first group I ever played with contained no less than 4 munchkins who were in a constant war for the spotlight.

    But with this group it all started with a Montser Trainer character in BESM d20 (anime edition i think). They handed me the book and said here you go make whatever you like! So I made a fairly balanced monster around damage prevention and charging things and letting cleave and greater cleave work their wonders. I killed so many mobs in the first encounter(read: only encounter) of the night that the GM had to spawn additional mobs(which were quickly cut down because they were inside my greater cleave radius and he said they were there the whole time). Honestly though it wasn't unkillable. It only had something like 12 hp. and an AC of 16.

    The same GM has allowed me to have a magic carp as a starting pokemon in his pretty rules free pokemon rpg and was amazed when I accidently killed a man with it and use it as a bulldozer/bad guy insurance. The city's municipal office has learned to hate this thing with the amount of real-estate I've destroyed.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)19:20 No.12680254

    I don't know about that guy but our group is not longer allowed to play RIFTS after we stole all the production equipment from a coalition factory with a bunch of Deaths Head Transports.
    >> Lantern !!3m0Phyi9QSi 11/04/10(Thu)19:27 No.12680301

    It went like this:

    (We were playing an "evil" campaign, while Duff was merely an embodiment of Chaotic Hidden Agenda.)
    Duff had swindled the manager of the city's bank to grant him a tens of thousands of gold loan to build a bardic college in the city. Duff had sincerely meant to do this, but as the party leader, a psychotic necromancer, started shit with the city, it was no longer a viable option.

    Blackguard (Duff's right-hand man): Since we're already in huge trouble with the duke, why not just rob the entirety of the bank?

    Duff: That'd be too easy.

    So, after some consultation with our resident wizard and rogue, we managed to magic us up a great time-space distortion spell. We shrank the bank for an indefinite amount of time, and Duff kept it hidden in his Fedora of Holding.

    We later used it to fund our next big adventure: vacation.

    Needless to say, the DM ragequit.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)19:32 No.12680332
         File1288913543.jpg-(195 KB, 590x785, forte_maid.jpg)
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    A ninja maid, and/or any character based on Galaxy Angel's Forte Stollen.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)19:33 No.12680345
    "Childlovin' Escobar" Villalobos.
    Catholic Priest.
    >> TheOrdoJordo !O7Alt1MURo 11/04/10(Thu)19:36 No.12680368
    Mormon Paladin (Deadlands)
    Redepmtionist Cleric (Dark Heresy)
    Religious fanatics in general, really...
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)19:53 No.12680504
    Not allowed a character if it has 3 or more of the following:

    Officer in an army
    Loyal to the death
    Extremely well-disciplined
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:55 No.12681152
    You just ruined a DM's fetish4lyfe
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:57 No.12681183
    mfw people just pull silly names out of their asses instead of referring to actual characters they've tried to play:

    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)20:59 No.12681198

    mfw I'm always stuck as GM, so I haven't even got enough rejected characters to post here

    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)21:05 No.12681249
    Justico - The Gnome Luchador Paldain!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)21:36 No.12681567
    My cleric in dark heresy is closing in getting seriously smacked down from the GM or outright banned.

    It started innocently enough, "for the emperor!" here, "suffer not the witch to live!" there but after it became obvious my character is slowly turning into the redeemer http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/The_Redeemer_(Graphic_Novel) its getting flaky.

    The reason for the hate? i've managed to buy myself stormtrooper armour, a fuckhuge mono-molecular great weapon, a void suit, a chainsword and guard flak armour by level 3 - the second i declare a charge agaisnt a target as long as I hit anything short of the realy meaty opponents in the book I WILL remove a limb on the charge.

    I took on a fairly high level techpriest after our party had enough of his shit and cut his left leg off TWICE - this was after I was about to kick the spaceship's captain out the airlock for questioning me.

    Plus we'll over look the fact I engineered a forest massacre as I ordered 50 or so fully armed adeptus arbites to open fire on unarmed civilians (the death toll from that was a good 300 - we stooped only because we needed to save ammunition, though the GM didn't allow me to execute them all for being traitors) as they fled their underground bunker after I sent an agent in to cu their air filtration and suffocate them all. If that plan had of worked I would be responsible for nearly 1000 deaths at rank 2.

    Warriors-priests of the emperor don't fuck around.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)21:48 No.12681674
    I'm also not allowed to play ninja maids. Though the GM who freaked out over that is no longer with my group, so I might have a chance.

    I don't think I can remember anything else I am not allowed to play that's actually happened. I know I gave personal veto to a few utterly wrong ideas, but I can't remember them now.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)21:52 No.12681713

    Why hasn't your GM fed you to something yet? I'd love to see a CSM straight slap your shit on the charge. But hey, so GRIMMESTDARKEST it's GRIMBRIGHT can be fun too.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:30 No.12682107

    He tolerates it as I do stick to the theme rather well, but outside of some hardcore looting another member o the part is doing i'm easily the strognest member of the party.

    My current plan is to start a crusade on a planet that has a fuckton of mutants and the like hiding beneath the hives.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:32 No.12682141

    Sounds like Dark Heresy with a win condition. Rare. Usually it's "by which method will the PCs be horribly crushed?". Good on ya.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:45 No.12682286

    Well another player did stat up an arco-flagellant and the GM is deciding about giving it to me (i'm the only cleric) and while I shal lnot squander such a gift, it does mean i'll be attracting hard enemies like the plague.

    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:51 No.12682369
         File1288925488.jpg-(150 KB, 512x768, drag-queen-folsom-street-2..jpg)
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    Drag queen turned by a Nosferatu during the stone wall riots.

    Still has his white cotton dress and Marilyn Monroe wig.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:54 No.12682399
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    >any character based on Galaxy Angel's Forte Stollen.

    Sorry this isn't a thread about totally awesome characters
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)22:55 No.12682412
    Good. That means we can still talk about her.
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)23:02 No.12682503
    Derek the Defenestrator, the Neutral Good Cleric of Kord. A Luchador for justice, truth and a really good ham sandwich! Imp grapple, imp unarmed strike, and barbarianX4. And... memorized inflict spells, held and released with a grapple+headbutt. Because justice was blind and needed to get close and look evil in it's beady little eyes to make sure it was evil!
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)23:47 No.12683113
         File1288928879.jpg-(107 KB, 731x1100, shira_bone_spear2.jpg)
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    Good Corpse, who is a chaotic evil Rogue/Fighter gestalt. He was based off of Shira, one of the major villains from Blade of the Immortal. Rape, torture, and murder were his trade, but only when the party wasn't on his ass for it. Unlike most chaotic evil PCs, he knew WHEN he could be a monster and get away with it. Thus he restrained himself if only to avoid getting ganked and cutting his continued spree of horrific criminality short.

    This pic is a prime example of Shira's depravity. Now you can imagine how Good Corpse, being based off of him, could act.
    >> That Gentleman ಠ_ರೃ !Ga1qm8jGFI 11/04/10(Thu)23:50 No.12683149
    Anybody with a relative/servant who has a dark past fighting as a gun for hire in local wars through south America and Africa and are therefore a reasonable hook up for weapons/training/connections
    >> Anonymous 11/04/10(Thu)23:54 No.12683216
         File1288929291.jpg-(386 KB, 679x1000, GA Casual clothes.jpg)
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    >Forte wearing normal glasses.

    That just looks... wrong somehow.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)07:01 No.12687056
    Am I the only one who, as a DM, likes it when players make characters like these? I find the challenge great fun and the fact that they're trying to be batshit-crazy lets me out-batshit-crazy them. Especially when I can pull it off without "A wizzurd did it" or "rocks fall".

    That said, I love pulling up obscure sourcebooks to create the scout doing 24d6 skirmish damage or the dread commando with +17 initiative, both at level 12.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:11 No.12687623
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:13 No.12687637
    >Forte and Milf
    Ranpha's going to be jealous.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:15 No.12687643
         File1288962918.png-(135 KB, 501x500, forte33.png)
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    Oh but they have such laughs together
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:18 No.12687657
    my ultra munchkin rogue who i rolled up to utterly destroy someone's supar speshul snowflake mary sue...

    i still have his char sheet and it was worth it
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:40 No.12687787

    Alright, I'll bite. How the fuck did you manage that?
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)09:43 No.12687797
    Any kind of 'luvvie'.
    Anything that is a monkey.

    I also have a friend who designed a character that was three ninjas. Well within the restraints of the game system. Just... three ninjas.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)11:48 No.12688641
    No, none of that.

    There's a 3.0 feat that Double Step that turns your five foot step into a ten foot step, so you can still full attack. The players never wanted to ditch all of the 3.0 rules, and I'll be damned if I don't make them regret it.

    +17 init is just generally the dread commando all over(also 3.0) - at 5th level you get an extra +5 total to init, along with improved init (+4), quick reconnoitre (+2) and dex 19 (23 with gloves of dex +4) gives +17- I could get it higher, but there wasn't much point. The character was designed to challenge a sorcerer who normally played a rogue, and was a tricksy and (normally) invisible git. Quick Reconnoitre let him spot the guy and act on it in the same turn, combined with a good spot managed to even out the +20 invisibility bonus. He didn't get his sudden strike though. Was still a good fight.

    Mind you, I have loads more, like the 17th level wizard who can kill anything with less than 200hp, that's not immune to death magic and isn't a hexblade in one turn. No save. Legit 3.5.

    And the there's the mounted fighter with the Lance of Sizing who on the charge puts his lance up to Huge and then does 5d6+9 damage. Actually sizing items are just stupid, as a small twig can suddenly become a redwood. And then the half-fiend who fights in an anti-magic field with two poisoned bastard swords. Next up is the lich with two very important rings; the Ring of Arming and the Ring of Positive Resistance. The latter means that positive energy attacks have no effect at all, and the first lets him switch between two item sets, one already on his person and one in reserve. Let him get all tactical. Not that whacking the party's cleric who's just tried to cast Heal on you round the head with a greataxe is a particularly advanced move but it's definitely effective.

    All of this is why I'm rarely allowed to play by my friends anymore. They consider me a good DM but a horrible player :D
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)11:50 No.12688656
    >Mind you, I have loads more, like the 17th level wizard who can kill anything with less than 200hp, that's not immune to death magic and isn't a hexblade in one turn. No save. Legit 3.5.
    That's incredibly small time for 3.5e. That's not even good.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)11:56 No.12688692
    >>12688641 should point out that the wizard was to get rid of some annoying henchman who'd sort of had one of those Star Trek transporter accidents and constituted half of the banned characters in this thread into one. Expect the accident had been deliberately performed by the a player. He punishment was to run a gauntlet made of all types of the Wall spells. Truly brilliant thing is that he had to drop all the crap he'd been encumbering himself with all campaign, slowing down the party massively.

    >But I might need this anvil for comic effect.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)11:57 No.12688704

    No, but he served his purpose.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)11:58 No.12688712
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)11:59 No.12688725
    I don't have any "characters I'm not allowed to make" except a certain halfling barbarian that could deal 50-60 damage in one turn at level two.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 11/05/10(Fri)12:02 No.12688748
    Generally whatever current crackpot idea I toss at the GM. Such as a kobold in a dragon-slaying game, or a Gungan Jedi (the only one I've asked about multiple times).
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)12:07 No.12688781
    >There's a 3.0 feat that Double Step that turns your five foot step into a ten foot step, so you can still full attack. The players never wanted to ditch all of the 3.0 rules, and I'll be damned if I don't make them regret it.
    I can't quite find any 3.0 feat from an official book that lets you do that. There's a 3.0 item, but no such feat. I can, however, find several 3.5 feats and abilities that replicate similar abilities. There's nothing particularly overpowered about 3.0 that was bad because it was 3.0.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)12:10 No.12688797
    >"resplendant buttflow prana"
    I think I laughed for about a minute straight there, bro. That's fucking hilarious.

    Regrettably, I have not played enough to get banned characters.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)12:17 No.12688843

    >That's incredibly small time for 3.5e. That's not even good.

    Implying that instant death isn't a problem. Probably nothing more than a minor inconvenience, really.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)12:55 No.12689099

    Is it weird that the 1st thing that sprang to mind when I saw that pic wasn't "oh god man figure" or "oh god man face" or even "wtf is s/he holding?", it was "how the hell are you not freezing your nipples off in that outfit??"
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)13:02 No.12689136

    I take it you're like me then: despite knowing better, you clicked anyway.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)13:06 No.12689158

    Indeed. But then again, I spend a lot of time at /d/, so I'm pretty much immune to crossdressing based SAN damage. The question of how s/he isn't freezing in that outfit, however...
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)13:15 No.12689216
    I'm not allowed to play myself in GURPS, I cost too many goddamned points for a first level character; somewhere around 275.
    It's not my fucking fault I was in Beaver/Cub/Wolf/Boy Scouts, then got into Karate when I had enough of the nature crap.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)13:24 No.12689296

    The (sadly) worst campaign I ever played in was one where we were forced to play as ourselves. None of us had any motivation whatsoever as players or characters, and the other two players wanted to bail entirely. They actually killed themselves and refused to get resurrected. The only way I could get them back in game so as not to hurt our friend DM's feelings was to kill myself then make diplomacy/intimidate checks against them in out own pocket afterlife. That way they'd agreed to a pre-arranged resurrection that the church covered the costs of.

    Also, because my knowledge of the D&D system was significantly better than the DM's I HAD to meta-game. If I didn't, I wasn't role-playing.

    I killed the BBEG at level 3. He was level 10.

    And that's why I refuse to play myself.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)15:18 No.12690245
    >ITT: Characters You're Not Allowed To Play

    A pirate who turns into four pirates whenever he engages in combat.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)17:09 No.12691420
    Mine's not so much a list of characters I'm not allowed to play, as it is a list of characters I'm not allowed to legitimately quote:

    • The entire cast of TTGL (this 1 was pre-emptive by the GM)
    • Anything from Monty Python (but isn't that a house rule for pretty much every group?)
    • The entire cast of LotR (According to the GM, quoting Theoden does not require me to yell the "DEATH! DEEEEATH!" line at the top of my voice. Naturally, I disagree on this point)
    • The entire cast of Scrubs (Laverne impressions being the last straw, apparently)
    • Any anime character that pilots a giant robot (For example the techpriest that used Domon's quotes for Shining Finger and Sekiha Tenkyoken for Lumen Shock and Lumen Blast respectively, and the Dawn Caste Solar that quoted Sanger Zonvolt repeatedly)
    • Any character that requires entrance music.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)17:36 No.12691726
    You don't even need that feat if you make a mounted combat scout, since while mounted you can make a ranged attack at the midpoint of your mount's move (or at any point in the move with improved mounted archery, iirc).

    Furthermore, you can get a feat that lets a scout/ranger stack their scout and ranger levels for the purposes of Skirmish dice, and ranger levels get full BAB instead of the scout's 3/4. Also, there's a feat that adds two skirmish dice if you move 20 or more feet during your move (easy enough with a mounted character).

    Bonus style points for equipping the scout with a Pegasus to fly around on. Forces the scout to have a Good alignment, but there should be some other options for Neutral or Evil that also fly.

    tl;dr go scout with a flying mount and laugh maniacally.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)17:39 No.12691765
    My friend once tried to make a homebrew system where people from our world would go into this computer game. The whole point was that it would blur the lines of the fourth wall.

    So I played myself. The same version of myself who had helped make the game to begin with. All shit broke loose and the system broke.
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)17:53 No.12691906
    >expanding my previous statement

    Why a Pegasus? 120 foot fly speed. This means that if the scout wins initiative, they can have their mount take a run action, then rapid shot at the end of it, before anyone else can do anything.

    For damage levels, its going to be three attacks at level 7, four at level 12. Each of these attacks gets 4d6 skirmish damage at level 7, and 5d6 at level 12. So the damage is on the order of 12d6 to 20d6.


    I only get up to 20d6 skirmish damage at level 12 with a full attack. What'd you use to get the last 6 skirmish dice? Did you count weapon damage along with it somehow?
    >> Anonymous 11/05/10(Fri)17:58 No.12691959

    I've done a related thing to that before. We were given a few days rest in between missions, and my character was a tinkerer, specifically making games. He decided to invent a game that he called "Dungeons and Dragons", decided to run it for the other players.

    Wouldn't have been so bad, were it not for the system being GURPS. So we were playing GURPS characters playing D&D, with a GM for the GURPS game and a player who was the GM for the D&D game. This lasted around half an hour before we gave up trying to focus.

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