After a brief and indirect encounter with the denizens of this place, I lay down to sleep, only to wake up strapped to a table and relieved of my clothing. What followed was a very unsettling series of encounters with a Goblin, a Slime, and even a Beholder. They didn't seem to want to eat me, which only unsettles me more.

But the important thing is they finally got me my clothes back, and now I've retreated to relative safety to redress.

What really makes me nervous is that these creatures act so NORMAL. Too normal.
Maybe they were human once. Is there any other explanation? Monsters are supposed to act like... monsters.
I've always tried to keep an open mind about some things, but these are the kind of creatures that when you were a kid you would have checked under your bed for. The kind who would jump out from the darkness and scream--

>"SURRENDER YOUR LUSTFUL FLESH TO ME GIRL, AND I WILL END YOUR LIFE IN THE EUPHORIC HEIGHTS OF PAIN."

>>12847969
Welcome back.

Also, THROW YOUR BOOTS.

flip the fuck out and backhand the thing

Flip the fuck out.

Scream girlishly, then attack while it's off-guard.

"EEEEEEK!"
BOOT THROW
IS GO.

>THWACK
>"OW...! Ha ha! You can't hurt me, foolish young thing!"

sounds like it hurt, throw the other one!

aim for the black part!

>>12847934
Do you have any of those sharp intruments around? Pick up one of those and go to work on him.

>>12848062
He's totally just stuck there isn't he? Just look disapprovingly at him.

>>12848062
...It's stuck in there, isn't it? Ready second boot just in case!

BOOT THROW 2
RETURN OF BOOT THROW

>"YOU CANNOT HARM-"
>THWACK
>"OUCH! Damn it!"

>>12848122
Er...Ask if it's stuck.

>>12848122
"That's what you get for being a peeping tom!"

yeah, you are mad cause it peeped.

"OKAY LIKE SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL?!"

>>12848122
Is that chest on the ground movable? And can Marit lift it? We could threaten the perv into behaving by making like we'll throw the chest at him.

Get something else ready to throw.

>>12848165

what the hell indeed

"Um... are you stuck?"
>"WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU. I'M NOT STUCK. YOU'RE STUCK."
"...I'm not stuck."
>"YOU WILL BE!"

>>12848235
Back up slightly.

abscond!

If it keeps misbehaving, threaten it with one of the torches.

>>12848235
Well if he wants to play it that way... Hit it with the box or trunk or whatever that is behind you.

>>12848235
Tell it that unless it wants its face introduced to more and heavier objects, it will stop trying to watch you while you put your clothes on.
Then nickname it Stucky McStuckerson. One who is stuck.

just take a step back

>>12848235

Let's investigate the mystery of what happens when a chest is hurled into a monstrous cupboard with violent force.

>>12848235
You could always just leave the room and get Bob or Godwin.

>>12848235
Use that torch on the wall to singe it if it tries to touch you.

That scythe tentacle is a little worrisome.

The oak chest is far too heavy for me to lift, let alone throw! I'm still recovering from my injuries, anyway.
Instead I decide to wisely back up out of the range of the stretchy limbs.

Godwin enters the room. I never thought I'd be relieved to see a Goblin.
>Godwin: "What's going on?! I heard screaming!"
"This thing's trying to eat me!"
>???: "Hey, she started it."
>Godwin: "Myron, stop that. She's a guest!"
>???: "...What, are you serious? Her? A human?"
>Godwin: "Give her some privacy, will you?"

I need to get out of this place as soon as possible.

Someone didn't get the memo.

YOU NEED ANOTHER PLACE TO CHANGE.

"C'mon, man! I just wanna get dressed!" And then shoo both of them out of the room.

Nail the cupboard shut if you have to.

>>12848377

"Is there someplace else I can change WITHOUT peeping toms?"

>>12848377
>I need to get out of this place as soon as possible.
What about treasure? Friendly or not, these are monsters in a ruined fortress. There has to be treasure.

Ask him if there are any other disguised monsters in this room you need to worry about.

Ask him if he knows an armoire named Luis.

"I JUST WANT TO CHANGE IN PEACE. IS THAT REALLY ASKING SO MUCH!?"
>???: "Sure you don't want someone to stand guard?"
>Godwin: "Hey!"
>???: "All right, all right, I can take a hint."

The cabinet doors -- along with the black space between them -- drop off the cabinet itself and land on the table. It's very bizarre and I can't quite explain what I'm seeing.
A small, rubbery thing grows out from the flat panel and I realize I'm looking at a face.

>M: "Hey. So I guess you're supposed to be here after all. Sorry about the scare, just doin' my job. Name's Myron. Nice to meet you."

"Uh, hi Myron. Can I change now?"

>>12848542
Yeah okay that's nice. Please go away now.

>>12848542
Uhm... Tell him he's gotta hell of a rapeface.

>reamons connected
No captacha... I doubt there are any northwalkers in 'this' rape dungeon.

"That's great. Nice to meet you, Myron. Now can I please change in privacy?"
>Myron: "All right, all right, fine."
>Godwin: "C'mon, Myron. We're having a meeting in the throne room. Hey, Marit, we'll see you out there when you're done, okay?"

Change quickly, before something else interrupts you!

>>12848649

"Ummm... which room is the throne room?"

Change with some haste.

>>12848649
This is weird as hell, if you want any hope of a normal human life I would exit forthwith and go try and find the remnants of you company or something and going to fight more hopeless wars.

But really I doubt a 'normal' life is what's in store for you dear.

They didn't give me my sword, just my clothes. I change quickly in my newfound privacy.

I'm trapped in a dungeon with a bunch of weird monsters.
But now I have my clothes back!

>>12848722
And if there are a bunch of very strange monsters plotting something here, it could mean suicide to not find out what.

>>12848754
Make sure the back doesn't have a big hole in it.

God damn you have giant hands. Lookit 'em.

>>12848754
Enjoy the little things.

>>12848754
...check for underwear.

>>12848754

To the throne room! We may as well be a gracious guest.

I don't want to spend much more time in that room than I need to, so once I've got all my old clothes back on, I figure I might as well head out of there.
I pass the next room, which is at least as unnerving. Probably more.

>>12848754
That's defiantly a step up! Now let's go find that throne room, hope there isn't an ogre or one of those pointy headed guys with tapered fingers occupying it.

>>12848819
Note to self, do not open until ... ever. also, don't move it either, I don't what to see the rest of that pattern and confirm what I already know to be true.

>>12848819
It looks like they moved that cabinet in front of something. Do you want to investigate?

I don't suppose you recognize any of those symbols, do you?

leave it alone and just look for a throne room.

We've been here before guys. The geometries are messed up. Just keep walking to the throne room.

>>12848819
>>12848842
Also, look up!

OOC Question: Where do you get those the images to create those ritual/archaic symbols and patterns?

>>12848916
I'd think he outlines them, then charcoals over them.

It's creepy, but I've already been in that room before. Maybe you should catch up on my previous adventures here. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12839817/

I come back into the mess hall, and I can hear voices softly to the west, and approaching, high-pitched voices from the east. I think they're the voices I first heard here, in that eastern room with the beds.
Should I stick around to see, or should I head west?
Or maybe just attempt an escape up the stairs and skip this "meeting" all together?

>>12848989

Head west, occasionally check back to see if the guys from the east are close behind.

All these monsters have been fairly friendly, we may as well go to the meeting and THEN decide if we want to leave.

Well, they've gone to all this trouble. You might as well stick around for now.

Perhaps you should stay for the meeting. They seem to still be deciding what to do with you. If they're keeping you captive, then if you were to attempt escape they'd be a lot less favorably inclined, and if they're letting you free you'll be able to leave anyway.

Wait a bit for the high-pitched voices to emerge. I suppose we'll have to meet them anyway, it might as well be on a one-on-one (or, in this case, one-on-two) basis.

>>12848989
Stick around. It's not like they want to ravish your body, and devour you or something.

Stick around. If they wanted you dead, you'd be dead already.

The two voices are chatting amongst themselves, and I decide to wait and see who it was I was conversing with earlier.

Two small kobolds in ragged outfits enter the room.
They immediately go silent and turn to look at me.
They stand there motionless, sort of staring.

>>12849174
Wave at them.

D'awwwww
PREEMPTIVE STRIKE

>>12849174
Awww yeah... bolds.

>>12849174

Pull a face.

>>12849193
Teach them the power of the Goddess!

Become overwhelmed with cuteness and hug them both.

>>12849174
Stare back

>>12849174

"Yes, I'm still here and I've met the others. Let's go to the throne room.

What were you names again?"

>>12849174

... Wave at them? Pretty sure these are the two that you were talking with earlier in their room. And then just edge off towards the throne room.

I wave.

...no?

>>12849361

Oh... um... okay. Probably best to just nod and head off. You can has introductions later.

OR alternatively you can say something like 'Hi. I've spoken to the both of you before, haven't I?'

>>12849361
I think they're scared stiff.

>>12849361


Again: >>12849299

>>12849361
poke the nose.

>>12849417
YES

POKE ONE ON THE NOSE
NOTHING BAD COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN

Look behind you to make sure they're not staring at something terrifying there.


Then hug them. The one on the left first.
kat kanoa

>>12849434

...they have sharp teeth and can bite

let's just say hello

they can talk, right?

For those of you not around in the first thread:

These were the first guys we talked to while exploring the place. They're skittish and tried to direct us away from them.

Yes, they're cutebolds, but they hid behind a bed and were relying on a spear for a sense of security. Get into their space and they'll freak out.

>>12849361
Don't talk. Just continue scaryi...er. Staring. They'll either go away, or actually start talking to you. In which point you wont make a fuss and wake the ogres.

Mosey on by.

"...hello? My name's Marit... what's yours?"

They stare for another moment, then glance simultaneously at each other, then back to me. The slightly-bigger one speaks up.

>Kat: "Um. I'm Kat. And this is Kanoa."
>Kanoa: "...S-sorry about earlier... Hedda says not to let people in. We just wanted to scare you away."
>"Kat: "Please don't be mad."

"I'm not mad. Just happy I didn't get the business end of that spear."

>>12849591
Smile, then smile a lot, then smile a real lot, THEN RAGE FACE

>>12849591

...s- so unbelievably cute.

Uh. Nod? And then ask them if they're going to the meeting as well. You don't want to be late, but if they're heading the same way then you can ask them a few more questions before you get there.

Like, just who (or what) is Hedda?

>>12849591

"I'm not mad, I was just looking for shelter and needed to know I was sleeping near something hungry for humans.

Godwin invited me to the throne room, so I'll be staying for a little longer."

TO THE THRONE ROOM!

I never realized kobolds were so little.

"Well... I'm not mad. I was just looking for a place to sleep, anyway. I'm going to see Hedda now, are you going to the meeting too?"
>Kat: "Yes."
"Well, what can you tell me about Hedda? Who is she? What is she?"
>Kanoa: "She helps take care of us."
>Kat: "She's really nice."

I'm not mad...

IM SAD

>>12849753

"She'd be the same way with a... human, won't she?"

(blarg... just get us to the throne room!)

>>12849753

Okay. Well, it sounds like we're going to find out soon.

I can't help but think that Hedda's... a minotaur, or bugbear, or troll. There are so many different types of monsters around, what are they all doing living together instead of with their own kind?

Actually, on the walk to the throne room, it might be good to ask the kobolds how they came to be in this place.

Alrighty then. To the throne room!

>>12849753
Place your bets people!
Mindflayer?
Giant Queen Spider?
Dragon(ess)?

My bet:
Hedda is the 'avatar' of the dungeon, or a construct that maintains it.

>>12849800

1 vote for gelatinous cube. No, I don't know how it'd work either.

>>12849800

Drow or elf

i'll bet its a rust monster.

Hedda will be shrouded in darkness, and we'll never know what she really is.

Hedda should be a neutronium golem

I step into the throne room, and a slew of monsters turn to stare at me. When I was a kid and we were having work tutors come in to satisfy quota, I used to come to class late, so it's a situation I'm used to. But not with monsters.

In addition to Bob (or was it Ben), Godwin, and Shel, there's also an orc in an oversized metal helmet, and -- wait, what? Is she...?
>"Oh good, you're here. Not everyone's shown up yet, but we might as well go ahead and begin. My name's Hedda, and I'd like to welcome you on behalf of everyone here at Darkhave."

Hedda's a... a Hound Archon?

>>12849951
Awwww shit, hound archon taking in good monsters and raising them right.

>>12849951
Well, That actually explains a lot.

... i'm noticing a pattern to these names.

>>12849951

Oh! Well, that explains-

Wait, that doesn't explain anything at all.

... ... ... Greet Hedda (and everyone else) as politely as possible? If these monsters are in any way inclined to hurting you they'll be able to do it quite easily. Right now seems a good time to just wait for answers. The meeting's supposed to explain a few things, after all.

>>12849951
>Hound Archon
Okay, we're perfectly safe here. After all, these guys come from a realm of pure good.

>>12849976
What's the pattern?

>>12849951

"Darkhave? I read it as Darkhaven.... [proceed with rest of greeting]"

>>12850021
I bet the Orc's name is Oscar.

>>12850032

I don't know why I didn't notice that.

Wait... that necklace.... Does it look like the amulet we found/lost?

Hedda approaches and shakes my hand firmly with both of hers. Her fuzzy hands are warm. I feel a little reassured. Just a little.

"You're an Archon."
>H: "Ah, I didn't think you'd know."
"My dad used to tell me stories about Archons all the time. I thought you guys were supposed to be like... super good."
>H: "I am good!"
"Well... um, then if you don't mind me asking, what's with all the monsters? Like... wouldn't you be mortal enemies with a Beholder?"
>H: "Normally, maybe. But good isn't always achieved in the murder of evil things. I take in monsters that I believe can be saved, and I try to keep an eye over them, like Ben here."
"I thought his name was Bob."
>H: "Goodness, you must have been hit on the head harder than we thought. Don't worry, we'll keep you here for a few days while you get better."

...!

>>12850160
Hugs! Hugs!

Hey, it's either this or roughing it with no shelter and halfway incapacitated by your injuries.

"So uh... how's it going?"

I'm not too enthralled about staying in a monster-infested dungeon, but if a Hound Archon is here then at the least I feel a little safer. I may be able to last at least a few days, just to get me on my feet.

>Hedda: "Okay, the kobolds are here. Who else are we still missing?"
>Godwin: "Umberto's out getting firewood still, I think. Aldo's sleeping and I didn't want to wake him, and uh, Myron's around here somewhere I think. And of course Manny and Gil aren't here yet."
>Ben: "Is Rosie coming?"
>Godwin: "Yeah, she should be here in a second."

The orc approaches, lifting his helmet a little with a nod.
>"'T'sup. I'm Orsen. Y'seem pretty cool."
"Uh. Thanks?"
>"Yeah."

He smiles. Apparently that's all he had to say.

>>12850365
brodar is tingling.

>>12850365
Ask them what's up with the torture room oh and that sanity rending graffiti storage center.

>>12850378
It's off the friggen charts is what it is.

Have you thought about any sort of compensation for them letting you stay? Even if they're just doing it out of altruism you should offer them something in return. That is, if this isn't some sort of trap.

And so, Marit learns the important lesson not to judge others by appearances and hearsay.

Let's just wait for the meeting to start, they'll probably explain things in greater detail and the floor will be open for questions.

>>12850401
How do we know thats not an Orc Mating Ritual!

Inquire as to whom Umberto, Aldo, Manny, and Gil are.

>"Oh my GOOOOSSHHH!"
A loud shout from the doorway suddenly catches my attention.

>"Oh. My gosh. Is THIS the new girl?! She is SO CUTE! Oh GOSH! YOU ARE SO CUTE! Look at your ponytail! It's so awesome! I wish I had one!"

>>12850510
AHH! Throw The Boot!

>>12850517

STAY THY BOOT.

Say hi.

De-equip boot, throw at bug monster

>>12850510
Rosie rustmonster. of course.

>>12850543
Our Sword!
Throw the other boot too!

rolled =

>>12850510
Welp. Now we know what happened to our sword.

>>12850510
Haha! Adorable.

Don't let her touch the armor, mmkay?

No boot throwing. Just a friendly greeting.

"Hello, Rosie. I'm Marit."
>R: "I know! Oh gosh I've never talked to a human before! You are so cool!"
"...did you eat my sword?"
>R: "Oh gosh... that was yours, huh? I am SO. SORRY. If I had known I wouldn't have eaten it, but like... it looked SOOO good. I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry. Can we still be friends?"

>>12850652

We can be friends. We can be best friends.

C'mere. Shake my fucking hand.

I like how she's all :c

"Yes, we can be friends. Just don't touch my armor, okie dokie?"

>>12850652

HUUUUUUGS

>>12850652
The sword can be our payment for their help.

It wasn't too important to us anyway, just a leftover from our time in an army we had no loyalty to. No big loss.

>>12850652

Well... now we know for sure.

Say possibly? As in, you could possibly be friends, but you'd like a few questions answered first, if that's fine.

- What's with the weird dimensionally challenged room?
- What did this place use to be, before Hedda the Hound Archon took over it?
- Any other things we've yet to know.

"Uh... yeah. Sure, I guess. If we were going to be friends, you eating my sword won't have stopped anything."
>R: "Yayyy!"

I'm really glad the armor I'm wearing is made of leather.

Okay, NOW inquire as to whom Umberto, Aldo, Manny, and Gil are.

>>12850708
So goddamn adorable.

>>12850708

aKJFskldjf those cute faces. well, for now we don't seem to be in any immediate danger so it's okay to not have a sword.

Begin meeting? Wait for answers, we've got a few questions we can ask later as well.

Cutebolds and D'awwblins and Rustmonsters!
Oh my!

I don't like her. She acts cute, but she's inconsiderate. She should have known better than to eat something if she didn't know who it belonged to.

...Now I get why Hedda wouldn't want people to come in. If Marit had been better equipped and not so half dead, seeing a goblin might have meant attacking it immediately. And the kobolds, as well. I'm glad we didn't hit them earlier, but just how have they all got by so far?

>>12850754

Eh, those kinds of people exist IRL, doesn't make them evil.

>>12850754
What if she ate the gold coins we found or the magic necklace too?

We should ask about that too, maybe it was a cheap way of getting rid of adventurers? "Aww sweet, gold and some magicalmabob! Well that seems to be the only thing here."
Cutebolds must've cleverly disguised the stairs.

dammit OP, why must you make everything so adorable? Cutebolds, Dawww'blins, and now Rust Darlings.

>>12850795

Rust monsters eat iron, not gold. That's a whole 'nother element.

>Hedda: "Well, you must have questions. Manny and Gil won't be joining us for obvious reasons, Aldo's taking his nap, and I guess Umberto's got in his his thick head to go looking for firewood in the middle of a blizzard, but he'll be all right. Otherwise, I guess we're all here. So we might as well start the meeting."

So many questions, but where to begin?
"Well, I guess my first question is... why you're all... the way you are. I was expecting to be eaten or something when I first saw you all. That's normally how stories of people running into monsters in old dungeons go. I guess I can thank Hedda that I'm still alive?"
>Ben: "Well hey, don't give her ALL the credit. Most of us have taken on a more peaceful role by our own choice."
>Godwin: "It's true. Orsen's a good example of that. He couldn't go along with his clan's warlike ways. He became an outcast, so he left. In a way, we're all outcasts."
>Orsen: "Outcasts together."
>Godwin: "We all have our reasons for being the way we are, and we all ended up banding together. But Hedda did help. And she likes to play Matron."
>Rosie: "Hey! Don't call her names!"
>Ben: "Rosie, a Matron is a good thing."
>Rosie: "Oh."

>>12850708
So, when do I meet the rest?

>Manny and Gil won't be joining us for obvious reasons

What does that mean?

>>12850916

klfjadlf awww these guys

I guess then we're in pretty much the same situation as they are, huh? Lost a battle, can't go back, most people we know are dead and probably wouldn't gie a shit about us if they were alive. Just as well we didn't go out, though. The blizzard doesn't sound good.

About now might be a good time to say thanks for the help earlier? Without which you'd have died, probably.

>>12850937
It's daytime, one is a vampire.

>>12850916

Does it snow frequently in this region? I don't remember it being winter in the beginning...

"What do you know about this place? It looks like some evil cult used to live here, what with the torture chamber and strange ritual room."

"So what do you do out here?"
>Hedda: "We try to survive, we take care of each other."
"Is that what the gold coins and the magic pendant were about, upstairs? Adventurers come looking to loot the ruins, so you throw a little treasure at them and hope they go away?"
>Hedda: "Exactly. We try to avoid having to fight when we can. It's better just to get them to leave, or to scare them off. Innocents should never be harmed."
>Myron: "If they get in, they're usually real goody-two-shoes. The lawful-good type. You know what I mean. Hedda's our ace when that happens. She tells 'em the ruins are under her watch an' she's got it under control an' they just go 'oh okay' an' leave, an' that's that."
>Godwin: "Myron can scare off the greedy thieves. No better counter than a mimic."
>Myron: "Ah, y'flatter me!"
>Rosie: "And I can handle the heavy armor guys most of the time, if Shel helps me distract them!"
>Hedda: "Most of us here aren't actually very good fighters, so when a really mean customer comes along, or an evil force that refuses to relent, we have to call on Ben, Umberto, or Manny."
"Who exactly are Umberto and Manny? And Aldo?"
>Orsen: "Umberto's an Umber Hulk. Real righteous guy. You'll get along with him. Everyone does."
>Hedda: "Aldo's just a baby. But we take him in and care for him since no one else will. Gil would want to make the introductions personally, so I'll leave that be for now. As for Manny... well, I'd rather not talk about him. You'll meet him soon enough."

>>12850916
Make your fort save versus diabetes.
You're probably long overdue for a few.

>>12850977

Sounds good! That actually clears up a whole lot.

It's great that they've been looking after you as well... but, what now? You know their secret. And you can't survive out there on your own if the weather's bad. It seems like you'll need to rely on their generosity for a while- is there any work or jobs around that you can help with or do in return for a place to stay?

>>12850977

Hedda the Hound Archon
Myron the Mimic
Godwin the Goblin
Kat and Kanoa the Kobolds
Umberto the Umber Hulk
Shel the Slime Monster
Rosie the Rustmonster

Gil, Manny and Aldo the... ... ... what, exactly?

>>12851025

Oh, I forgot Bob (or is it Ben) the Beholder as well.

y'know you could probably be the spokesman for them against adventurers while you recover.

Wait, Umber Hulk??

Gil the gargoyle? ghoul? giant? gnoll? golem?

>>12850977
>Aldo
Ooh, I'd forgotten about him. That's going to cause some SAN loss.

And speaking of which, seconding >>12850975. Blasphemous geometry is never a good sign.

>>12851025
Manny the Mind Flayer.

>>12851025

Aldo the Aboleth ('baby' would turn out to be an improper description due to ancestral memory)
Gil the.... Githyanki?
Manny the Manticore.

Anyway, what kinds of skills do we have? We should help out while we're here.

>>12851025

Gil the Gremlin
Manny the Mandrake
Aldo the Avoki??

Aldo the Atropal.

Manny has to be a mind flayer or manticore, because they're talking about him as if he's the one kept at an arm's distance. Probably the most monstrous of the lot.

"So, what's with the torture chamber? And that... weird room? What did this place use to be?
>Myron: "I'll field that one. I've been here longest, so I know the history pretty well. See, back in the day, this place was called Darkhaven, and it was a REAL nasty place. Back then it WAS the kinda dungeon you'd read about in books. Blood-drinkers, black magic, adventurers by the truckload seekin' fame 'n' fortune. Eventually someone strong enough came through 'n' cleared the place out. Then for a long time, it was empty. That's when we showed up."
>Godwin: "We renovated the place a bit, but we don't really have the resources to convert all the old rooms. Manny took the ritual room as his, just like Ben took the old torture chamber as his room. All the old badness has left remnants and traces around, here and there. But it's not just a dungeon anymore. It's a home."
>Myron: "That's real touchin', Godwin, you're gonna have me bawlin' like a baby."

"Well, while I'm recovering, if anyone comes by, I bet a human face would really help. I could just tell people that come by that I'm staying here, and they'd probably turn away."
>Hedda: "That's a great idea! We could really use that, even just for a few days."
>Rosie: "What?! You mean she's not saying?"
"...sorry, that's... not going to happen. I appreciate the help, but... eh... no."
>Godwin: "It's all right. We understand. We've never even put up a human resident until now. I imagine you'll be itching to get out of here as soon as you're well enough to travel on your own."
"Do you think that will be soon?"
>Godwin: "Could be as early as tomorrow morning, I'll give you a checkup then and see how you're feeling."
>Ben: "Godwin's a doctor, you know. You're in good hands. Even if they are two different sizes."
>Rosie: "Ben! You know he's sensitive about that!"

I still can't get over how weird this is.

>>12851170

But... but think about staying here! All you could learn! How to fight better, how to cast cantrips, that sort of thing.

But I guess you've got places you need to go to as well.

Have you thanked them for their help yet, though?

Gil's gotta be a ghoul or a gargoyle, which is why he doesn't want to come out when it's daytime.

You don't really have anywhere you need to go, do you? There's no reason you can't stay.

Actually, if people knew about this place it would be very convenient. Wandering adventurers would know it's not a den of evil, other good-hearted monsters might come here to join up with them, and it might improve their reputation in the rest of the world.

>>12851190

Considering we were once a dirt farmer, we just need to find out more about this place before calling it home.

We need to thank these people, and let them deal with the other issues of the meeting. We shouldn't be the sole reason for this meeting.

>>12851170

Waaaaaaait a minute, how did a goblin get to become a doctor-!?

>>12851231
>>12851223
>>12851190
We probably have family back home
Plus, you know, army and everything

>>12851246

Degree by mail I imagine.

"So, how do you guys get by as far as food?"

>>12851250

Yes, but Marit nearly died once already. Rushing straight into battle a second time is likely to be a sure death sentence, and I don't think this stroke of luck -- a dungeon filled with NICE monsters -- is likely to hit her a second time.

"Why not let yourselves be known publicly?"
>Myron: "Whoa, that's a bad idea."
>Ben: "Let's NOT do that."
>Hedda: "Marit, it's an idea we've considered many times. But there are plenty of humans, elves, and dwarves out there less considerate or open-minded than yourself, who would come to plunder and raze this place if they knew of it, or even just to slay the 'monsters' that dwell here."
"Well, I feel selfish hogging the conversation. You guys should handle any other issues you have."
>Godwin: "Oh, don't sweat it. We mostly just called this meeting so we could all get to know you a little and get you comfortable."
>Hedda: "That reminds me, we'll have to find a place for you to stay."
>Rosie: "Oooh! OOOH! She can stay with me an' Kat an' Kanoa! There's a spare bed in the barracks, remember?"

>>12851305

Hey, that was the place- so is the straw bed Kat and Kanoa's, and the bed with a heart carved on it Rosie's? That makes sense.

Nod and agree, for now?

By the way, how long was it since you last ate? If it was since before the battle, it's probably time to ask if they have any food around. No point recovering from wounds to die from starvation.

>>12851305

That's it, we're making some kind of friendship bracelet in the future.

That bed looked good enough for us to sleep in before we encountered these monsters, plus it's close to the forge if we want to sneak in and investigate.

And yes, we need food.

Oh, uh, is anyone archiving this thread?

So exposing the dungeon isn't a good idea, but what if some of them went out as an adventuring party? That would keep the others safe, while still allowing them to improve their reputation and stop monsters who are actually evil.

But that still runs the risk of angry mobs coming after them. Then again, if the people are desperate enough, they'll look up to anyone who might save them.

Or maybe I'm being too intrusive and this isn't the time to talk about this. It's worth considering, though.

>captcha: berizan CUSTODIAL
In this place, it wouldn't surprise me to see a bear custodian.

>>12851386
submitted

"Well, it's very generous of you all to take care of me like this. Thank you for looking after me while I recover. I think those are all the urgent questions I have at the moment. For now, I'd just like to rest for a while, and maybe have something to eat."
>Rosie: "Great! C'mon, I'll show you to your new bed! Do you have food with you?"
"I still have some rations from my deployment, th-"
>Ben: "Hey hey hey, no way! No rations for you, not while you're staying here. Now, refresh my memory. Humans: Carnivores, or Omnivores?"
"...Why do you ask?"
>Ben: "Because I make a MEAN fruit salad."

>>12851472

... These guys are- they're seriously nice. If he's going to chop the fruits up telekinetically, it may be worth going along to the kitchen with him and eating. Also, we'll get to scout out the kitchen or wherever it is they get food from, and that'd be good.

We can tell Rosie we know where the bed is, seeing how we accidentally stumbled in on Kat and Kanoa there the other day.

>>12851472
"You're able to get fruit? In the middle of winter? Is it magic?
Also, YES!"

>>12851472

Arrghhhh, now I'm hungry too. But the only fruits I have in my fridge are oranges.

Anyway say YES to a mean fruit salad.

I could murder a fruit salad.

say we are an omnivore and would love some fruit salad, ask how we can make ourselves useful while we are staying here.

"I'd love some fruit salad, thank you."
>Hedda: "All right then. I expect everyone to help get Marit settled for the time she'll be with us. Marit, I hope that when you leave, you choose to keep this place a secret."
"I don't even know if I could find it again. I was half-alive when I stumbled out here."
>Hedda: "Well, that's it for now. Meeting adjourned!"

I head out at the fore of the group, and Ben passes me.
"Hey. Um, excuse me, Ben. If you don't mind me asking, how do you have fruit this time of year? Isn't it a little cold?"
>Ben: "Yeah, it is, but we have a root cellar and we try to keep it pretty stocked. Not all of us just eat raw meat, you know."
"Well I didn't mean to suggest-"
>Ben: "Hey, don't worry about it. I'll have to go get it myself though. There's no lights in the prison and the root cellar's a converted sub-basement down from there, and the last thing we need is for you to go stumbling around in the dark hitting your head AGAIN."
He smirks. His huge smile is still more unnerving than I think he realizes.

>>12851560

We offered to help deal with any adventurers that come by through saying that we live here and it's clear of monsters, if I'm not mistaken. I don't think Marit's up to physical stuff at this point in time, since she's still recovering.

>>12851561
ask if there is anything we can get ready while he's grabbing the stuff.

>>12851568
light activity is good for recuperation, so long as we respect our limits.

>>12851561

T- thanks for that vote of confidence...

Maybe take a seat at one of those tables to wait for now? Or we could just have another look around the mess hall, though there probably isn't much more to find. Maybe Umberto or Myron will pop in.

You might want to suggest changing the front of the dungeon to discourage adventurers. Darkhave(n) is like a magnet. Suggest changing it to The Vomitorium or Scab Place or somesuch equally unpleasant name.

>>12851635

No, but scary names attract adventurers, not ward them away. I don't think that'd work...

Ben doesn't sound very confident in me, but then again, stumbling around and banging my head DOES sound pretty bad right about now. I take a seat at one of the tables on the old, creaky wooden bench and take a rest.

This is really a lot to take in.

>>12851645

I meant changing the name to something disgusting or repulsive, in order to further repel interlopers.

>>12851645
yeah so we need a name like...
apple-butter~

Well, you're only staying here for a little while, right?

well what name can you put on a ruin that would make it unappealing to adventurers?

Saint Mary's Orphanage?
Grain Mill #3?
Manure Storage and Distribution?

>>12851674

Dungeon of Nothing But Artichoke Hearts?

>>12851682

Or even Watchtower #2. I mean, you could still call it Darkhaven, but having a big sign outside like that can't help their efforts to stay out of adventurers notices. Something that isn't overly nasty or overly cute like that should work fine.

>>12851682
at the very least they REALLY need to erase that big skull off the front.

its like waving a flag around saying "RAID ME"

Hm. A new name could really help this place keep a low profile. A name that doesn't call attention could go a long way to WHAT THE HELL IS THAAAAAT

>>12851730

I was right! Umberto the Umber Hulk turned up!

...Introduce... yourself...? He must have heard that you're staying here, right? Also show very clearly that you are not armed and are not looking for a fight.

That must be Umberto. Say hello!

how about putting up a sign outside "This Dungeon Raided by the Brotherhood of the Crowbar: NAILED DOWN? NOT ANY MORE! Contact Us when you want that crypt STRIPPED CLEAN!"

"Hi Umberto"

>>12851730
Relax, Deep Breaths, Greet Umberto.

>>12851730

Fuck yeah, Umberto!

Hoping for Bro-tier personality.

Maybe he can give us a lift like a Neogi.

>>12851750

Implying that anything that was once in this ruin that was worth taking has been... took. That might work, knowing adventurers!

>>12851730
GO INSANE.

Because the gaze of an Umber hulk causes CONFUSION.

THIS is an Umber Hulk? I had no idea he would be so huge.
He sets down his pile of chopped logs and heads over to me.
Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear.

"Um... hi. I'm Marit. You must be Umberto, right? The Umber Hulk. Hedda told me about you. I met her, too -- well I met almost everyone, except for uh... I... a few people. We just had a meeting. Um, Hedda said I could stay here, until I'm well enough to travel. So... that shouldn't be a problem, right? I mean, if it is... I won't stay in your way or anything... um. But it's not? Right?"

...

...

>>12851828
"...please don't eat me?"

>>12851828
...You aren't mute, are you?

"would it help if I screamed and ran away?"

>"...¿Qué?"

Oh god, I think he's doing that bonding thing that umber hulks do

>>12851826
>THIS is an Umber Hulk? I had no idea he would be so huge.
It's an Umber HULK dear, not an Umber MINI.

"No habla espanol?"

>>12851854

lkfdajsfd HAHAHAHAH well that... explains... things...

smiles are universal, right? TRY TO SMILE. WEAKLY.

and, uh. point at self, say 'marit'.

>>12851854
Oh god he doesn't speak Common
What sort of strange foreign language is he speaking? ... UnderCommon?

Relax and wave hello instead.

Say this: "¡Hola! Mi nombre es Marit, e I' m que permanece aquí durante algún tiempo hasta que me recupere de mis lesiones."

>>12851876
>>Undercommon = Spanish
I don't know why, but that made me lol.

Smile and wave, smile and wave.

"Solamente digo que yo soy la persona que dormir en la casa la noche antes, y Hedda me digo que no es malo que estoy en le casa ahora"

I have horrible spanish, but say that and I'm sure it'll work.

Marit is a Norwegian(well, Nordic) name.

Were her folks VIKING dirtfarmers?

>>12851892
If Common is the language trhey speak in America, and Undercommon is the place they speak in the place under America, then it works.

>>12851887
[Nice try! No supplanting foreign knowledge like that.]

Whatever weird language he's speaking, I'm not familiar with it.

"Um... anyway... it's, uh. It's nice to meet you, Umberto. I hope we get along."
>Umberto: "Sí. Le abrazaré."

>>12851934

Okay... he doesn't seem like he wants to hurt us? That's good, at least. Should we mention names? like uhh point at black hole where bob went and say 'bob' or point at self and say 'marit'?

>>12851934
Don't freak out too much.

You could give him a hug to show you're friendly. He's pretty adorable, after all!

Um... give him a hug I guess?

>>12851934
A note: The uper pair of eyes are the real ones. He just winked at you.

>>12851934
Oh god, I'm seeing his antennae as arms and hands.

Point to self and say "Marit", then offer hand.

I think he's offering a hug! You should give him the bestest hugs ever!

>>12851960

We'll get a hug in eventually.

HUUUUUUUG

Hug him!

And make sure you don't poke yourself on one of his mandibles.

Umberto picks me right up off the ground like a ragdoll and wraps me in a powerful hug.

>Umberto: "¡Marit!"

This hulk thing gives some... enthusiastic hugs.
I think I just felt my SPINE shift.

That's it for tonight.

But there's more to come.
Stay tuned for the conclusion soon!
Thanks for playing, as always. Stay classy, /tg/.

>>12852020

Oh, okay. That's... nice of him.

Pat him gently on the back and try to find some way of letting him know that being let down now would be quite welcome?

since we can't really understand him or do anything if this was a hostile action just continue being as friendly as possible.

>>12852030

faklsdjfl conclusion!? but we've only just started getting to know people!

aahhh such a fun quest thanks for running it though

>>12852030

conclusion? And here I was thinking shit would hit the fan and we'd have to save the day.

a most enjoyable session!

we really need to recommended to Hedda that they redo the big sign out front, Ben/Bob should be able to do some eyebeam work to change the name.

>>12852047

Or, shit hits the fan and they save us.

I should clarify: I meant the conclusion of the episode, not the series.
I plan to make this a continued quest, with each major plot/story arc in its own distinct 'episode'.
I didn't mean to sound so dramatic.

>>12852085

Oh... okay... that's a relief. So this is sort of the prologue or introduction or chapter 1, as it were? Getting to meet everyone else in the dungeon.

>>12852094
Yes, exactly so.

>>12852085

As I suspected, you were sowing too many seeds for future events. Unless you wanted to establish a background story for another quest...

>a quest entirely about "monster" races
Oh Weaver, you so furry~

>>12852149

Cutebolds and Dawww'blins are acceptable.

>>12852149
>monsters are inherently furry
Well, I guess we should all just yiff, then. Because there's monsters in damn near everything that's /tg/ related.

>>12852149
I agree. Beholders, Umber Hulks, Goblins, Mimics, Orcs, Slimes, and Rust Monsters are furry as fuck. We must take action against this furry menace. I vote we start by deleting all D&D threads on sight.

>>12852217
There is a difference between killing something and getting "hugged" by it.

>>12852227
Well there is a whole lot of slime porn, at least.

>>12852237
Not if you hug it hard enough.

>>12852237
Are you actually arguing that Umber Hulks BECOME furries?
Holy shit, man. You are so worked up over the potential of something to be furry I think it's starting to affect your sanity.

>>12852263

Weaver?
Is it possible?
Huzzah!
You have reuturned to us, your must humble children