This is the latest inhabitant and my most recent acquaintance, Umberto. I have never seen an Umber Hulk before and I can't say I have ever had any desire to see one.

He's an enthusiastic one.

After a hug that practically leaves me winded, he nods and heads off with his pile of firewood.

Oogh.
I don't know how long I can last here.

Straighten hair, resume sitting.

Place stool on chair. Resume sitting.

Forget this sitting business. Follow that Umber Hulk!

...it's better than just sitting, anyway.

I straighten my hair and put the stool on top of the chair. For some reason this makes me feel a little better.

I sit at the mess table and wait. I don't know what for.
I don't know what to do next. I'm kind of tired and I guess I'll be spending the night, but I don't know if I should turn in yet.
Part of me is still screaming to leave but there's a blizzard out and I know I wouldn't get far with these injuries.

>>12860801
We're waiting for Bob (or Ben) to get back from the cellar for DELICIOUS FRUITSALAD

Follow that Umberto!

>>12860811

Er, wait. Fruit salad first. Then we follow Umberto.

That's right. Fruit salad.
Knowing my luck, it will probably be made of demonic fruit. Or the fruit will catch fire when I eat it. Or the bowl will turn into a monster.

My stomach growls. I wish I wasn't hungry. Maybe I should just have a ration.

>>12860820
That's what I get for staying up till like....9 in the morning. I follow quest threads till the author passes out lol

>>12860807
Oh. I forgot about that. Case of the dumb and all that.

I'll just sit in my corner now.

>The advanva

>>12860811
Beb would cry bitch tears if we did that.

>>12860831
Oh god oh god incoming monster. Act cool, Marit. Act cool!

Well it is fruit that grows underground...
Hell Fruit?

>>12860838
Or fire eye lasers. Or however that works. Do we actually have rations anymore?

>>12860856
He'd cry bitch lasers then.

You seem to have a visitor right next to you.

>>12860831
look in the cabinets behind us for something to nibble on, like bread or such.

>Tabscres men,
Wha..what kind of men, captcha? WHAT ARE YOU WARNING ME OF!?!?!??!

Shel oozes up next to me. Even at first glance, he's not a particularly scary monster.

Did Ben say he grew the fruit underground?
Is his name even Ben?
My head hurts. Everything still feels a little cloudy. Cobwebs.

Alternatively, look down and make sure that thing hasn't eaten your legs or something.

>foomend consider
I will, Captcha, thanks.

>>12860881
say hi?

Pet it, it looks so cute.

>>12860870
We checked those earlier, and are currently waiting for Ben the Beholder to bring us a fruit salad. You should go catch up on the previous parts. They're good stuff.

>>12860881
I don't think he can talk can he? I wonder if he can even hear?

>Bervairs Voice
Not today captacha

>>12860881
Wave hi.

"Hi, Shel."

...

"I don't look like that."

...Do I? I thought I was skinnier.

ask shel what he likes to eat.

>>12860925
Make faces at him.

"Not now, Shel. I'm hungry."

>>12860925
Heh. See if he does other impersonations.

Impressions will have to wait. Shel's goopy antics are interrupted when Ben squeezes back into the room. Watching him, it's clear the doors weren't build with the larger inhabitants in mind.

>Ben: "I'm back! Got your fruit salad, fresh and cold! Oh, and Gil says hi."
It smells pretty good, actually.

>>12860963
Get some eats.

"What's in this?"

>>12860963
"If you don't mind me asking, how are you growing that fruit?"

>>12860963
Gil... Gil was mentioned in the meeting, right?
As Benbob about Gil. Who is he, or she? Or rather, what is s/he?

Take a taste.

>>12860963
so who IS Gil, anyway?

nomnomnomnom

WAIT A MINUTE
Who moved the stool off of the chair?!

Mention you met the umber hulk.

>>12860963
Might as well eat up. If they were going to kill you, they wouldn't do it with fruit.

>>12860991
Ben answered that last time, I think.

>>12860963
WHO TOUCHED MY STOOLCHAIR!!!

>>12861059
>>12861032
This may actually be a valid question...

Consume Fruit Salad.
Mention we met Umberto.

"If you don't mind me asking, how are you growing that fruit?"
>Ben: "I'm not right now. It's been keeping in the cellar since the growing season. Don't worry, we keep good care of it. Fresh as the day it was picked."
"So who is Gil, anyway?"
>Ben: "Ah, I don't like makin' headway for other people. You'll get a proper introduction in person, I'm sure."

...
>Ben: "So how is it? Good?"
"Actually, yeah."
>Ben: "I knew it! I knew it. See, even humans like my fruit salad! It's that good! I don't like to brag, you know, but I actually got this recipe off a powerful lich who had an affinity for fresh melon. Now, he couldn't eat it himself, but he'd make it all the time whenever someone came to pay their respects. I knew him through a mutual friend, a displacer beast who somehow got their hands on a ring of intelligence so strong it would lose sleep at night over the meaning of life. Can you believe that? Anyway, I think a hero got him since then, but just as he lived on after his own death, this recipe lives on after his un-death.

>...You know, I make some pretty good custard, too."

The stoolchair reverted to its original forms in the frame that Shel appeared.

>>12861083
Jokingly ask which eye shoots the Food Beam.

>>12861083
Laugh and say he's silly.

Why does this make me think of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends?

>>12861083
"When can I meet the other residents? I don't think my heart can take too many more of these random encounters."

>>12861116
Because Marit is bleeding out on the battlefield and this is all in her imagination?

>>12861083

We should still mention that we bumped into Umberto. And ask Bob what language that umber hulk is speaking in.

>>12861172
This. Because we might want to actually talk to him at some point, instead of just being hugged to death.

"So, which eye has the Food Ray?"
>Ben: "Oh, no Food Ray. But this one shoots Ice. Great for keeping the cellar cold. I could show you what they all do, if you want. This one's Dominate Humanoid. Wanna see?"
"Um... actually... maybe some other time. For now, I think I should meet the rest of the inhabitants here. I already ran into Umberto, and I don't know if I can stomach many more random encounters."
>Ben: "Well, Gil and Manny won't be available for a while, probably. But I think the Kobolds were going to get Little Aldo up from his nap around this time, if you want to meet him."

>>12861198
That...that is a rape face. Yes, let's go meet Aldo. Or at least get witnesses in case that eyebeam 'misfires'.

>beginning spretch
Exactly so.

>>12861198
I think he just flirted with you. Kinda, I would almost be tempted to ask if beauty 'really' is in the eye of the beholder.

NO, BAD BEN

Let's go meet Aldo then.

Yeah, let's finish our fruit and go see Aldo.

>>12861198
Little Aldo? That sounds harmless enough.

>>12861230
No, but Charm Person is.

>>12861259
Joke 1 -> Joke 2 -> Joke 1

>>12861259

>>12861230
>I would almost be tempted to ask if beauty 'really' is in the eye of the beholder.

QUEST CANCELED DUE TO AWFUL PUN

>>12861281
But...but...

>sigars bricks,
These things, I will give them to you!

No not really.

I think I'll go meet little Aldo.
>Ben: "Be careful not to scare the little guy! He'll keep everyone up if you get him crying!"

>>12861281

welp

>>12861281
Hey, hey, hey. If the quest can handle "random encounters," it can handle this.

WHOA WHOA whoa.

Don't scare me like that, Weaver!

>>12861295
>>12861295
> 03
aaaaaugh the adorable.

I head for the Kobolds, hoping to meet Little Aldo.
Looks like the door to the forge is open. Maybe I should stop in. Or maybe it can wait.

I'm a little hesitant about this place either way.

Poke your head in.

>>12861374
Oh, poke your head in. What can it hurt?
>famous last words

>>12861374
keep walkin

Maybe just take a quick peek.

>>12861374
I'd say you should go see about Aldo first.

>>12861382
>>12861383
the head poking. IT MUST BEEEE

>>12861382
>>12861383
>pokemind

The forge room is small, cramped, sooty, and smells like burnt... everything. The side with the furnace seems much dirtier.

No one here right now, I guess.

>>12861417
Hmmmmm....

He's probably a salamander. A kind of reptile from the elemental plane of fire. Or maybe an elemental. I dunno.

>>12861417
That bed is kind of unusually high off the ground isn't it?

Ah well. Off to find Aldo, I suppose.

>>12861417
>No one here right now, I guess.
You should know better than that by now.

Move on to next area.

>>12861417
Drop a tentative "hello."

>>12861417
...

Those marks on the forge make me think of eyes and a gaping mouth

>>12861450
ANGRY FORGE

>>12861429
I would suggest he's dwarf, but considering the theme of civilized monsters here, I doubt it. But definetly something related to fire.

>>12861470
Azer?

After making sure the room is indeed empty, I decide to just continue on.

The kobolds are sitting by the door in the barracks, fawning over what I can only assume is Little Aldo.
>Kat: "Hey, little guy. Hey. Hey there. You awake now?"
>Kanoa: "Did you have a good nap? Aw, you're all better now aren't you? Yes you are."

Let's get a closer look at him!

>>12861501
This is going to end in interesting.

>>12861501
wait by the door for them to finish. Don't want to startle the little guy.

>>12861501
Don't scream.

>>12861501
(Quietly) say hi!

Quietly shuffle in and whisper "Is this Aldo?"

>>12861497
Yeah, probably an Azer. For those of you who don't know, they're like dwarves, except they have beards made of magma. Or are on fire.

inb4 babby tarresque

I whisper, approaching softly.
"Hey. Is this Aldo?"
>Kat: "Yes."
>Kanoa: "He just got up from his nap. I think he's in a good mood."
>Kat: "Hey. Hey, Aldo. Look. Who's this? This is Marit. Say hi."
>Aldo: "Bhbhb. Gaa."

Aldo's... actually really cute!

>>12861587

oh god what is it?

I want to kill it with fire

>>12861587
How is anyone in this place alive?

>>12861601
What's the matter, never seen an Atropal before?

>Kat: "Aldo's an Atropal."
OH GOD HELL WHAT

>>12861587
Say hi to the little guy! Let him grab your finger.

Back away slowly. Nice and easy. Keep smiling.

Yes dear, he's what happens when an evil deity has an abortion.

>>12861649
Hey, he seems totally harmless. Calm down.

>>12861587
oh god why is it an atropal

http://www.d20srd.org/srd/epic/monsters/abomination.htm#atropal

con drain.

con drain.

>>12861658
Nice spoiler, jerkwad.

>>12861649
Don't scream don't scream don't scream

>Aldo: "Bhbhbhbhbhb. Goo."

I back away. Far away. Like, out of the room.
"It's... really nice meeting you, Aldo."
>Kat: "Why don't you go play in your room now?"
>Aldo: "Bahbhahbhahbhahbh. Bheeeeeeeeaaamamaba. Boop."
>Kanoa: "Here, take your ball too."

>>12861649
>Atropal
OH SHI-

>>12861754
It has a ball. I do not know how I feel about this.

>>12861754
Well.

Now what?

>>12861754
Now go freak out and build a fort in the corner of the mess hall.

>>12861754
...do I want to know what it has for a ball?

>>12861769
No, I don't think we want to know. I think the best thing to do is politely avoid it.

Remember, your under the protection of an Archon, and it's just a baaaaaaabyyyyyy. Stop freaking up, and Man up.


...Er. Soldier up.

>>12861803
But...but...we'd much rather go back to the mess hall. Yes, that's what we want to do.

I was a soldier for about a week and saw one battle. I think "soldiering up" for me involves getting a severe headwound and bleeding a lot.

I wait until Aldo's been moved to the next room to play, and wait a good while after I feel it's safe, before re-entering the barracks.
Kat stands over by the old wooden bunk.
>Kat: "Hey. This is where you can sleep tonight. It's not as nice as the other beds but it's pretty good. I sleep here sometimes, like if Kanoa gets sick and needs the whole bed."

>>12861816
THINK OF ALL THOSE BRAVE WARRIORS WHO JUST DIED NEXT TO YOU. HOW ABOUT THEM? DO YOU THINK THAT YOU HONOR THEIR MEMORY BY BEING AFRAID OF A TINY CREATURE SUCH AS THAT?

YOUR ANCESTORS WEEP.

>>12861821
So they sleep together? Are they siblings?

>>12861821
why is there a metallic lock on the chest next to the RUST MONSTER's bed?

>>12861841
Pretty sure they are. And it's not incest unless noses are touching. Right?

>>12861832
shush you. We're not a slavering dog of war. We're a poor farmer given a metal stick and sent to die. That's about it. Fuck your warrior code bullshit. Maybe if they'd TRAINED us to be warriors, yes.

>>12861821
Oh, in that case. Yeah, go ahead. Panic and flee. Just sayin'. Get some backbone girl. You've so far encountered enough monsters to wipe out a party of adventurers. I mean, come on. The beholder alone could take out anyone you met in the army. The archon herself would probably bitchslap anyone who comes through that door if she was entitled to it. Yet you pretty much sat down and had a civil conversation with both. Now a baby comes along, and you run for the hills?

>>12861853
Midnight snack.

>>12861821
Try out the bed, I guess?

>>12861821
...Well, maybe it's time to go meet Gil or Manny. Less surprises later and all, right?

The fort has an Atropal and a Hound Archon. How can anything pose a threat to it?

>>12861887
Atropol is a baby, and the Archon doesn't want to hurt anyone. And evidently, it's near a battlefield.

>>12861913
>baby
Atropals are aborted god fetuses.

"So you and Kanoa are siblings?"
>Kat: "I dunno what that word means."
"Don't worry about it."

I lie down. It's actually really nice to be in a real bed for the first time since the battle.
"This is kind of comfy."
>Kat: "Yeah. You can sleep if you want. Hedda said you should rest."
"Maybe I will."

>>12861960
Size - Large.

Does this look like a Large creature to you?

>>12861974
Stare back for awhile, at least, till you see a the bold blink.

this just makes me more curious as to what Gil and Manny are.

>>12862010
>>12861974
Take a nap then search for Gil and Manny

I just stare back.
Kat stares too.

>>12862061
Don't blink. It'll blink first.

>>12862010
Considering that there is an Atropal here that SOMEHOW hasn't killed every living being here with it's mere presince, I highly expect something VERY strange and or horrifying.

... "Do you need something?"

>>12862061
Take a nap.

>>12862061
>Go away for 20 minutes
>Come back
>What is going on.
Nevertheless, we better cuddle with those bolds before the adventure is done.

>>12862067
Like a sanity rending horror from the Far Realm that just wants to be friends?

"Do you need something?"
>Kat: "No."
Kat still doesn't blink.

>>12862105
Rub Kat's nose a little bit.

>>12862085
Probably something that you would never see coming.

I dunno, I'm still in the dark about it.

>>12862105
HOLD OUT GIRL. IT'S WAVERING. YOU CAN HEAR IT IN IT'S VOICE. KEEP. THOSE. EYES. OPEN.

>>12862105

"Perhaps...a hug?"

>>12862111
>>12862124
Do one of these two.

>>12862124
Sure, hug from nowhere. Why the hell not? :V

>>12862124
>>12862133
>>12862134
Consensus reached. Hugz tyme nao.

>>12862105
Hug note, read 'bold.

"Do you want a hug?"
>Kat: "That's a good idea. Hey, Kanoa?"
Rosie comes in and Kat returns to the straw bed.
>Rosie: "Oh my GOSH, Mariiiiit! We're roommates! Oh this is going to be SO. COOL. You know what? I'm going to get you a cute guy to hang on YOUR wall too. What's your type? Long feelers? Wide carapace? Broad mandibles or narrow? Do you like guys who are like, more orange, or more of a true brown-rust?"

>>12862172
"Well, preferably human, for a start."

>>12862172
...that's a guy on the wall?

say girls, just for kicks

>>12862172
Thank Rosie for her enthusiasm but point out you're really more into your own species. No offense.

... Unless you ARE into rust monsters...?

>>12862172
"I always thought mantids were kind of nice..."

No, not really. But just sayin'.

A true brown-rust with the longest feelers~

>>12862172
Oh, also, be prepared for incoming doublebold hug. Unless Kat just decides to hug Kanoa. Iunno?

>>12862190
>say girls cause its true

"I like human males with firm, toned bodies. Preferably covered in a shiny oil."

Then swoon.

>>12862172
Point out that, sadly, there is no wall to hang the poster on.
Or that it would be difficult for the readers to see with said poster on the wall.

Kat flops down beside Kanoa and drapes an arm around in a hug. I have to admit in spite of myself they're pretty cute.

"To be honest, Rosie, I'm more interested in my own species."
>Rosie: "Oh. Right. Duh. That was a silly question. Haha. Sorry."

...
>Rosie: "Um... anyway I guess you want to go to sleep! It's pretty late so I'm going to bed too. I'm gonna put out the lights. You want me to wake you in the morning?"

>>12862283

"Yes please."

>>12862283
That'd be nice of her.

Go ahead and sleep. You seem like you could use it.

Sure, why not?

Unless Rust Monsters only sleep for a fraction of the time that humans do or something.

>>12862283
Sure. But just so we don't get any surprises, what are the others, exactly?

>>12862283
>wake up
>first thing you see is rust monster
>flip the fuck out

"Uh...sure. Thanks, Rosie."

we should ask about breakfast and if we're expected to make our own

"Okay. Thank you, Rosie."
>Rosie: "No problem!"
"What about breakfast? Should I prepare my own?"
>Rosie: "Oh, no way! As a welcome for you as a new roommate, I'll make you breakfast myself!"
"...you will."
>Rosie: "Yep! Oh, don't worry, it's not gonna be a hunk of metal! I know how to make food for other people too!"
"...okay."

>Rosie: "Okay! Well, goodnight!"

>>12862367
And then Marit was in a locker.

Sleep.

Aaaaand scene!

>>12862367
And it is dark.
We are not likely to get a good night's sleep.

...or are we?

...I can't sleep.

>>12862367
By the way, in about five seconds, say Hi to at least one of the others. Or tell the mimic to stop groping you.

>>12862385
This looks like a job for REFLECTING ON HOW YOUR DAY HAS GONE!

Alternately, having someone unexpectedly show up in the room.

>>12862385
Well, you know what to do. Go find Manny and Gil!

Imagine cutebolds jumping over a fence.

Count each one until you fall asleep.

>>12862385
What kind of "not sleep" are we talking here? Might-as-well-get-out-of-bed "not sleep" or lay-awake-and-unwind "not sleep?"

Except, I suppose, for when I'm dying, I have trouble sleeping in a new, strange place. It's not a good trait for a soldier to have, but I wasn't a very good soldier.

Rosie's not SNORING, but she makes this very faint kind of metallic wheeze every time she exhales.
And I can hear occasional whispering interrupted every now and then by giggling from the kobolds' bed.

Being surrounded by monsters that could kill me and eat my flesh, in near pitch-blackness, doesn't help ease the psyche.

>>12862414
>derp
Those should be "can't sleep."

>>12862427
Check on the 'bolds?

>>12862427
Um...

What exactly are the kobolds doing over there?

>>12862427
Silly humans without darkvision

>>12862427
Does the implication that those Kobolds are making more Kobolds help any?

If not, just remember. They were terrified of you. How would you feel if that Umberholk showed up on your doorstep, and you let it sleep in your house, with your family.

I'm sure that's how the Archon must feel right now.

>>12862427
Do what I always do: midnight cup o' coffee. Does the trick every time.

But they're NOT here to eat you. They all seem nice enough.

Anyways, close your eyes and imagine yourself on a peaceful beach.

I'd be more worried about what's in store for breakfast.

Yeah, I don't want to bother the Kobolds, but I might as well get up, maybe get something to drink.

I guess I shouldn't be so afraid. If they wanted to hurt me they would have already, and with a Hound Archon here I don't feel like it's probably going to happen. Well, not on purpose anyway. Still, I'm not very comfortable here.

I'm in a creepy, monster-filled dungeon, and I'm going for a midnight walk. I guess almost dying really can change a person.

Be alert. Gil or Manny might be nocturnal.

>>12862503
Maybe you'll run into Manny or Gil. They could be nocturnal!

>>12862524
and the world needs more lerts. whatever they are.

>>12862524
Betting money they are, since wosisname earlier mentioned they wouldn't be available "for a while" but "Gil says hi."

...might be a good idea to stay out of the cellar.

>>12862528
They could also be undead, or worse. If we're going to be walking around at night we need to be careful, especially in a dungeon full of monsters, no matter how well intentioned they may be.

Duly noted. I decide to stay as alert as I can be in my wounded and half-conscious state.
I stumble past the forge, a faint, dim glow beneath the door. Probably lingering coals. I can hear snoring on the other side, so whoever lives there obviously shouldn't be disturbed right now.

I enter the Mess. Umberto has wedged himself tightly into the crevice in the rocky wall. That must be his bed.

Now let's see, where did Ben say they kept the food?

>>12862606
the cellar! maybe we should take the torch on the wall? though we have no way of lighting it, me thinks.

Right. The cellar. Okay.

...now, where is that?

>>12862606
/shudder
Oh god I hate umber hulks with a passion.
Yeesh. So fucking creepy.
Fucking daze attacks. FUCKING UMBER HULKS.

>>12862635
right maybe? isn't that the doorway benbob came out of?

>>12862635
Door to the right of the cupboard.
Methinks we want a torch, though, lest we be...left in the dark.

>>12862635
the one to our immediate right, I believe

Isn't it somewhere past the door by the cabinets?

>>12862649
do you mean to say that we would be...alone in the dark?

>>12862677
Possibly. You're not...afraid of the dark...are you?

That said, I do not think we will be alone.

I enter the door, squinting against the oppressive darkness.
Oh yeah. This room.

It slowly occurs to me that the candles don't actually seem to be giving off any light.

>>12862695

Move on quickly. There's evil marking, a runesone, and candles that make darkness.
You don't wannna touch anything in there.

>>12862695
That's odd.

Maybe something is making it darker than it would ordinarily be?

Anyway, uh... which door. Left?

>>12862695
Avoid candles. Go into left door.

Eh...left works for me.
We are likely to get lost anyhow. Or worse.

I avoid the creepy room and proceed toward the left door. If I remember right, it was closed and locked the last few times I was in here.

Squinting hard, I can't see anything inside. Just total darkness.

>>12862724
Poke the darkness.

>"Hi. You must be Marit."

>>12862739
Yep. Nice to meet you.

>>12862739
Say hi.

Very shakily.

Ask if it knows where the food is.

>>12862739
"Hi, Gil. Please do not eat me, however likely such a thing is."

OH SHIT ITS A GRUE

DON'T GET EATEN

"Y'know, I think I made a wrong turn somewhere."

do we really want to be randomly wandering around here? perhaps go back and see if one of the kobolds would like to walk you down since they seem to still be awake.

"...yes, I am. Nice to meet you. Please don't eat me."
>"It's nice to meet you too. My name's Gillian, but you can call me Gil.
>Gil the Grue.
>I always liked that alliteration. Catchy, don't you think?"

>>12862780
Politely agree.

>>12862780
"It's grand, Gil. ...I'd be grateful if you could guide me in the general direction of the food, good sir."

>>12862780
"it is a pleasure to meet you too, I couldn't sleep and was hoping to get a drink, am I going the right way?"

>>12862780
"I noticed that alliteration is popular down here"

I actually think it's a little tenuous, since Gil is more of a J sound than Grue, but I'm definitely not going to argue the point.
"It's very nice."
>Gillian: "What are you doing wandering around so late? You weren't thinking of leaving so soon, were you?"
"Er, no, I was-"
>Gillian: "Good! We'd hate to see you go already! Especially since I'm only now making a proper introduction! And it's so NICE to see a new FACE! You're such a pretty young thing, you might just steal someone's heart if you stick around! Ha ha ha ha ha HA HAA HAAA HAAA!"
Gillian's giggling laugh is loud but doesn't echo through the empty halls. It's strangely hollow and unsettling and it makes the hairs on my neck stand up.

"Um... I was just... looking for something to drink to help me sleep. Is this the way?"
>Gillian: "Past here is my room. You wouldn't want to go in right now. I'm so embarrassed. Hee hee hee! It's an absolute mess! HA HA HA HA HA!"
She speaks with this unstable enthusiasm in her voice. I think "manic" doesn't even begin to cover this.
>Gillian: "I'll just pick you something up! What's your order, Marit? Hee hee hee!"

>>12862862
something warm and sweet that is not blood definitely not blood.

>>12862862
Water sounds nice, I think.

>>12862862
For some reason I assumed it was male. YOU DID THIS TO ME GRISSOM.

Er... anymore of that fruit salad? Or possibly a non-bodily-fluid drink?

>>12862862
"water or milk, whatever is convenient......wait...if you had milk what would it be from...."

"Uh, just water's fine."

A cup of warm milk. Failing that, a cup of water.

Resist urge to pee yourself.

>>12862862
See, when teeth are added that is not a friendly smile anymore.

"...just water is fine, thanks Gil."
>Gillian: "One water, coming right up! Hee hee hee hee!"
Oh, god.

She disappears into the inky darkness. Which for her I guess is about as difficult to do as blinking.

>>12862934
>Her
>Was flirting a second ago

A... lesbian grue?

>>12862934
Hey, as creepy as she is, she's being quite friendly. Give her some credit. :v

>>12862944
Going to assume not every monster subscribes to gender roles and socially acceptable pairings?
It's slightly weirder than the beholder, but not by much.
Or maybe she's just spastic. Don't suppose she gets many visitors down here.

When Gil gets back, let's ask her how she ended up here.

>>12862934
"So, I don't suppose you get out much, do you?"

>>12862944
Grues can be lesbians too, you know.

>Gillian: "Heeeeere you goooo~♪ One cup of water~♪"
"...thank you."
>Gillian: "Don't even mention it, Marit! If you need anything, I'm here for you, okay? Hee hee hee. It's so nice to have a new guest down here. Now let's get you back to bed, shall we? You need your beauty sleep resting off a nasty injury like you've had, yes indeed! Hee hee!"

>>12862992
...that...is odd.

>sleeps norillan
You're not helping, Captcha.

Follow the advice.

>>12862992
Gee, she must not get out much.

That sounds like an offer to escort you back to your bed, there. Which I guess you might as well take her up on? Iunno.

"Your giggling is freaking me out, Gil."

So the grue is going to walk us back to bed? Because that's what I'm getting here.

>>12863014
If we do, we should ask her a bit about the others.

>>12862992
You know I've always wondered what a Grue looks like. Ask if she can come into the almost-pitch darkness?

I don't want to make trouble, so I agree.
>Gillian: "Come on, I'll see you back to bed now! Hee heee!"
It seems way darker out here all of a sudden. I can't make out anything but the vague black silhouettes of the objects around me. I'm practically blind, but Gillian's helping me back to my room.
I feel an icy hand on my shoulder and the hairs on my neck rise again.
>Gillian: "Careful not to trip on the candles. You're doing great~!"

"...uh, hey, just going to throw out a random question here: on a scale of 1 to 10, how likely am I to be eaten by you?"

>>12862992
make chit chat while you drink water and head back towards bed, be as friendly as possible.

poke candle in scribblewall room.

>>12863067
Wow, she gives off a lot of darkness.

I guess just keep heading on back?

Oh Nevermind, she IS darkness.

Ask what her general shape is.

Welp, no grue body.

Go to bed, drink, sleep.

>>12863067
Thank Gil for the water and leading us back to bed. We don't want to say anything that could set her off.

ask what would happen if you did trip over a candle, have they messed around with the spooky scribblings at all?

"...you're sure you're not going to eat me, right?"
>Gillian: "Hee hee hee! Not unless you really asked nicely. I'm not going to eat you any more than Ben's going to turn you to stone, or Aldo's going to boil away your lifeforce, or the Kobolds are going to shove you down a spiked pit. Ha ha ha ha! I know you're worried, but lighten up! We're all good people here, and we've got plenty of food without having to prey on passing humans. Hee hee. And anyway, you're a guest here. More than a guest, even. Hee hee hee! I can't speak for the REST, but I would love to be your FRIEND."

>>12863137

"I...appreciate that."

>>12863137
Oh god she's so adorably creepy. I think she really does mean well and is probably just really bad at not intimidating the hell out of people, especially since everyone here is almost certainly used to her by now.

Politely say that that... sounds nice, or something?

>>12863137
wow, so much for subtle insinuation

Ok, Question for Marit's Psych: which way do you swing? and what's your general response to this?

>>12863137
"That's...Thanks, Gil. Er, I think this is my stop."

>>12863137
Experience fear and erotic thrill, have massive bought of guilt and self-recrimination while at the same time becoming wet.

>>12863137
Ask if she's hitting on you.

>>12863175
I support this. This should happen.

>>12863175
Passing this motion.

>>12863175
seconded? thirded? whatever, do this.

Fear is check. Enough fear to cancel out even the remotest possibility of an erotic thrill in any situation.

"...thanks."
>Gillian: "Of course. Now here's your room. Hee hee hee. I hope the Kobolds didn't keep you awake. They stay up sometimes. Tell stories. Play games. Hee hee hee hee hee!"

>>12863230
So uh... are the kobolds... romantically involved?

"...thanks. I'm gonna go try to sleep now."

Operative word 'try.'

>>12863175
>>12863210
>>12863217
>>12863228
Requests for inappropriate sexual situations. It's almost like I'm participating in Ruby Quest all over again. Now I just need something to fuck with my mind.

>>12863230
we'll wait till we get back to bed and safe to have dirty guilty thoughts about this.

>>12863258
>Now I just need something to fuck with my mind.
Like...
The sexual situations actually occurring?

>Gillian: "Here you are, safe and sound."
"Thanks, Gil."
>Gillian: "Now let me tuck you in~♪"
"Uh... I'm okay, but thank you."
>Gillian: "Okay! Hee hee hee! Well, take it easy. You know where to find me if you need me! If you're really set on leaving tomorrow, I hope you'll see me before you go!"

>>12863280
"depending on my level of gut-wrenching fear i'll see if I can do that"

"Good night, Gil."

Remember to pull the covers all the way over your head. They can't harm you under there.

>>12863280
say goodnight to Gil, finish water, hide under covers, contemplate current direction life has taken, contemplate future, question sexuality.

I barely close my eyes and I wake to find a HORRIBLE MONSTER STARING ME RIGHT IN THE FAoh it's just Rosie.

>Rosie: "Good morning, Marit! Time to wake up. Wow, you're looking so much better this morning."
>Godwin: "Marit, do you mind if I have a look at you? I'd like to see how your recovery is coming along."

>>12863398
Say "okay" in complete monotone.

say goodmorning to everyone, thank Rosie for waking you up, thank Godwin for the offer and that you would appreciate that.

>>12863421
do this and mention you met Gil last night, ask if she is that..."friendly" to everyone.

>>12863398
say good morning to everyone, ask if they have a sparring room and/or any training dummies, remember we are a fuckin soldier in spite of recent events and after the previous day's events hitting something with a stick sounds like a great idea.

Godwin unwraps the bandage from my head, does some cursory examinations, and smiles enthusiastically.
>Godwin: "You heal up quick, Marit. It looks like you're back in working condition, as it were. That bump is going to be sore for a few more days, but it shouldn't be slowing you down anymore. Looks like some rest and some food did you a world of good."

"Hey thanks Godwin!"

Suggest ideas about changing the dungeon entrance appearance.

Gil, the friendly Gue
Relationship: Warm

>>12863457
>>12863472
this sounds like a good idea, doing some moving around should help and will let us assess how we are doing and work up an appetite for breakfast, also circumspectly raises the question of whether they have any weapons Rosie has not eaten.

>>12863489
oh yea! make sure to ask if they have considered changing the name to something that doesn't act as a red flag to every adventuring company in a hundred miles,

offer examples from ysterday.

>>12863522
ideas from yesterday:

Saint Mary's Orphanage
Grain Mill #3
Manure Storage and Distribution

or at the very least, get rid of the massive skull.

>>12863536

Yea, Skulls = 'Loot Here' signs for Adventurers.

What is a grue exactly? A drow that doesn't like sunlight or something?

>>12863536
it could pass for a guard tower from the outside as I think someone mentioned in the last thread, "Northpoint Watchtower" or something similar should do the trick, provided they do a better job of hiding the stairs down.

>>12863580
from Zork, they insta-kill you when you walk around in the dark without a torch, hence the line "It is dark, you are likely to be eaten by a Grue"

>>12863457
>remember we are a fuckin soldier
Hey, fuck YOU. I think I need to make something clear here: I was a soldier for about a week. I was miserable. I fought one battle, in which I was nearly killed and witnessed an entire battlefield filled up with pain and misery and human suffering. I had no military training and I was fighting for a land my family has never been allowed to own.
I'm not a soldier. I have no intent on spending my free time associating with that occupation.

Rosie drags me out for breakfast, which she made specially for me. Salted bacon and eggs. It tastes fantastic, especially compared to the rations I was given over the last week.
Over breakfast, I tell Hedda and Godwin and the others about my ideas for the facade.

"...and so I think the best way to avoid calling attention is to change the sign outside. Not to something hostile, because it would attract as many adventurers as it would scare away. Not to something friendly and harmless and inviting, because people might take that at face value. I think the best would be something really boring that makes people think there was never, at ANY point, anything here worth stealing, killing, or robbing. "Grain silo #3" or something. You wouldn't have to actually rename the place -- it'll always be Darkhave to you -- just the sign. It would mean less trouble, I'm sure."
>Hedda: "That's a very clever idea."
>Godwin: "I like it."
>Rosie: "Yay, Marit!"
>Bob: "I dunno. This place just wouldn't feel the same without that giant skull out front."
>Rosie: "You just don't want to agree because you're the one who'd have to reshape the sign!"
>Bob: "Disintegration at will is a very powerful burden to bear."

>>12863660
"Fertilizer Storage and Distribution"

place a few appropriate props outside (old wheelbarrows, a rusted drying rack over the firepit, etc) and even the wounded lone traveler seeking shelter from the storm will keep walking.

... calling it now. Marit is a monster of some kind but hasn't realized it yet. The others haven't said anything because she wouldn't believe them, it's something she needs to discover on her own. She died on the field of battle and became on of those restless undead types due to resentful feelings as stated here >>12863660

>>12863715
...there are a variety of interesting ghost templates that would work....

>>12863712
Fertilizer is worth good money.

>>12863742
admittedly there are adventuring teams that would happily pull out the enveloping pit and cast Servant Horde to scrape the walls clean...and then dissasemble the tower for the masonry stone, however let's ignore that possibility for the moment.

I continue to expound on my idea a bit, and they seem suitably enthused.
>Godwin: "Orsen and I will start gathering up the props."
>Orsen: "A'right."

I've finished my breakfast, and I'm all healed up.
I stand, lifting my plate to set it aside.
"So... I wanted to thank you all for your hospitality. It's been really nice meeting you all. I'm sorry I reacted so strongly at first, but I'd never really met any monsters before. It's nice to know you're not all... monsters."
>Hedda: "It was very nice meeting you too, Marit. You'll find the last of your belongings in the -- in Ben's room, by the table. Please be careful out there."
>Rosie: "Wait! W-w--wait! You're not LEAVING? But... but you just got here! I thought we were gonna be roommates!"
>Godwin: "Rosie, I told you she was only staying until she got better. You can't keep her here. She belongs with her own people."

"Dirt Storage Room B"

Do you even have any family to go back to, Marit?

Own people... yyyyyeahh, about that.

Suddenly realize you don't actually have anywhere to go back to.

>>12863803

"Can I still...come visit?"

ok, new question: do we have any idea where we are going from here? do we have friends/family somewhere?

No one says you CAN'T stay with monsters. They're pretty darn benign.

And if you have nowhere else to go...

I'd say you found a new home.

I head for my stuff, but as Rosie's arguing begins to fade behind me, I pause. DO I have anyone to go back to? Who's waiting for me? What am I going to do after this, anyway?

I can't stay here... I can't live with these monsters... obviously, I just can't. Can I?
But... I can't just wander forever.
I don't know what to do.

Well... maybe you could get a job here. Temp, or something. Unless you have an idea of where else you could get work...

wait, what did you just delete?!

>>12863883
Well there's no reason you couldn't stay here until you figure out where it is you do want to go, is there?

>>12863896
kick candle in idle frustration over situation

>>12863896
and we still haven't met manny yet.

(I think this thread is starting to auto-sage)

sit down and contemplate your situation

They certainly seem friendly enough... but this... this can't be where I belong. In a dungeon? Full of monsters? Ever since I got here, I've been uncomfortable, trying to leave... but then, I always wanted to leave my town to begin with.

Is it really out of the question? I guess not... but what kind of a life would I have here? What quality of life, in this awful place?

Another day of recovery certainly wouldn't do you any harm.

Probably wouldn't.

>>12863932
I think your problem is that you don't feel you HAVE a home to return to, and you still haven't had that sink in. Of course, it could be waiting for you, but do you have any idea where it IS in relation to where you are now? And if you left, what would you do if it was the ENEMY you ran into first?

Y'know, it IS kinda horrible... maybe you could change it, though? Really nice places generally take a lot of work to make, maybe this place just needs some renovation and it'll GET comfortable?

>>12863932
look at door to Gil's room, experience unexpected thrill at the thought of continuing to live with her, engage in massive internal guilt and confusion over cause of this.

>>12863932
Wait another day to think it over. These monsters obviously mean you no ill will and even enjoy your company. You could help them turn their awful dungeon into an actual home.

>>12863951

With this in mind, at the very least it might be a good idea to prepare yourself a little for the trip back. Heal a bit more, maybe learn some simple survival skills and get some actual training.

Though you may find you like it here...

I suppose I could always take another day... just to figure out where to go...

...that coffin's opening. Prepare yourself to meet the final roomie.

>that door
GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT

Ohgod um maybe you should go back where the others are so they can introduce you! Remember what happened with myron?

>>12863991
be distracted from your guilt-ridden thoughts of Gil by the creaking door!

Oh god.

>>12864069
Maybe he hasn't seen you. Sneak into the other room, quickly.

Just... smile and wave. Very very slowly.

>>12864069
Run. Run you fool!

>>12864069
Oh, it looks like you woke the poor fellow up. Apologize. And feel bad, too. Poor guy looks like he could use the rest.

>>12864069
manny the mind-flayer

>>12864069
he's wearing a nightcap and bathrobe, Chill the Fuck Out,

>>12864069
Quick, do something to make your brain look unappetizing!

>>12864069
>>12864130
Be very stupid. So far so good!

>>12864069
A mindflayer in a bathrobe and nightcap.

Oh, god. I can't stop laughing

So uh

Mind Flayers have to eat.

>>12864069
"morning Manny, I don't think we met yet, i'm Marit, you look like you could use some coffee"

>>12864163
Maybe he's a vegetarian?

Smile. Back up towards the door.

>Manny: "I know what you're thinking right now."

OH GOD DON'T THINK PERVERTED THOUGHTS DON'T THINK PERVERTED THOUGHTS

"Huh. Cool."

>>12864180
Wait, what are you thinking right now?

>>12864180
"is this a good or a bad thing?"

>>12864180
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

wait maybe he's nice

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

>>12864180
"OH GOD PLEASE DON"T EAT MY BRAINS OR HIT ON ME"

>>12864180
which one of us are you reading right now?

>Manny: "You can't decide. So let's make this easy. I'm going to flip this coin. Heads, you stay. Tails, you leave."

>>12864180
"OH GOD I WAS NOT JUST THINKING DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT GIL"

>>12864212
...wait, Manny is Two-Face?

>>12864212
... I guess that could work...

>>12864212
C'MON HEADS. I WANT ME SOME HOT GRUE ACTION.

>>12864212
"ok that sounds fai..................wait, can I see the coin first?"

THINK HEADDY THOUGHTS

>>12864212
...what, leave it up to chance? That doesn't seem fair to anyone.

I guess.. that could work? Jeeze he looks tired.

Oh god he has been listening to your thoughts every time you were in this room.

Ignore him. This is your decision, and he can't make it for you.

The mind flayer flips the coin...

>>12864271
Heads!

>>12864271
watch it with dread and anticipation!

...then catches it, and walks off toward the Mess Hall.

>>12864271
Catch the coin in mid air and give a passionate speech about how you walk your own path in life and how you refuse to be destiny's bitch.

How very Zen.

>>12864300
Oh Manny, you're an asshole.

...

Okayy... uh... go... along and follow him!

>>12864300
Wait a minute... Manny isn't a mind flayer. Manny is a troll!

>>12864300

give a nervous glance towards Gil's room before grabbing the rest of your items, I wonder if Rosie really ate your sword?

Realize you were hoping it was heads.

>>12864180
>subtle masturation hand motion

OH MY GOD

THIS JUST TURNED SEXY

>>12864345
He's scratching his butt.

"Wait!"
>Manny: "What?"
"Which way did it land?!"
>Manny: "It doesn't matter."
"...what?"
>Manny: "Because in that one moment, when the coin was in the air, you knew which side you wanted it to land on."

>>12864345
Look at the context. He's just digging out a coin.

>>12864355
response:

"Ah...... by the way good morning and it was nice to meet you"

>>12864361
HERE IS WHAT YOU DO

YOU USE THIS PLACE AS HOME BASE

GO OUT, DO SOME HUMANING, COME BACK

SOUND GOOD?

ALSO ALLCAPS IS COOL

...Damn. He got ya there.

...Okay, I guess you should ask Hedda about it.

>>12864361
We need to talk to Hedda.

You gave him far more attention than he deserved.

might as well be polite, call out >>12864366 as he leaves.

And that's my story. The story of how I came to live with a bunch of monsters, here in an old, ruined dungeon we call Darkhave.

I admit, it's a strange idea, but then, I guess I'm a strange sort of person.

I never felt at home in my own lands, and now in the wake of war, I'm both a survivor and a deserter. I'd be an outcast. Just like Godwin, and Rosie, and all the others.
We're all weirdos. We're all outcasts.

But here, we're outcasts together.

~End of Episode 1~

Thanks to everyone for playing along. I hope you had as much fun playing as I did writing.
Thanks for sticking it through, and I hope to see you all again some time again.
Stay classy, /tg/.

>>12864414
YAY!

And this is being archived, right?

>>12864414
"Marit the Human" just doesn't have the pretty alliteration that the others all have, though.

"Marit the Marauder"? It's the only thing I can think of that is something a human treated like a monster might be called.

>>12864444

Marit the Mammal.

>>12864420
A most entertaining and engaging tale! my thanks for your storytelling!

idle curiosity: how much went according to plan, how much did you have to avoid to prevent massive derailment, and what popped up that was genuinely surprising?

>>12864444

The 'm' monsters I can think of with the exclusion of mind flayer and mimic- manticore, medusa, memphit, mummy, merfolk, minotaur...

...none of these would really fit Marit.

But uh Weaver- thanks for an awesome quest! I'm really enjoying how this is turning out. In a weird way it reminds me more of interactive fiction, it's nice to have a quest protagonist that clearly has her own ideas of how to do things and won't... always... follow along exactly, like when a parser says 'I'm not going to do THAT' in response to a stupid line.

>>12864456
Honestly, there was no real "plan" that I had to avoid derails on. I had a few set pieces / encounters planned out, but how people reacted to them was really up in the air. I knew people would want Marit to stay at the end so it's not like I had to force the decision, the only one who really needed coaxing on the idea was Marit herself and the players took care of that pretty well, like >>12864325
A lot of the fun in this, as opposed to say, RubyQuest, which had a more definitive structure, is just being able to set up a situation and seeing how it plays out.

Incidentally, I wanted to point out that the whole time they were talking, Umberto had one of his four eyes held closed. Savvy players will know why.

>>12864485

Well, to be fair, Marit was already pretty confused so even with four eyes open I don't know if there would have been much change to her mental state.

We really need to find out what language he was speaking.

I think so far my favourite moment was in the first thread, where Bob- or is it Ben? Said that he was the one to take off her clothes and the first response was something like TAKE OFF HER CLOTHES WITH WHAT. Curious to know what'll happen next, but I'm sure however it goes it'll be pretty fun!

>>12864485
>Savvy players will know why.
I am not savvy ;_;

Needs More Gil.

>>12864546

Looking into the eyes of an umber hulk causes the confusion status effect. Generally this plays out into them standing around looking a little dazed- uhh I think you roll for either them attacking caster, acting normally, attacking the nearest thing or just standing around babbling.

>>12864485

This is awesome. Loving the characters in particular. I've been hoping to see more of your work since I finished reading ruby quest for the Nth time. Thanks for putting the time and effort into making this.

Can't wait for episode 2!

...Also, I have a terrible feeling that this is going to get freaky real soon... hope not, everyone seems so nice.

>Can't wait for episode 2!
>...Also, I have a terrible feeling that this is going to get freaky real soon... hope not, everyone seems so nice.
>soon
You don''t know too much about Weaver? It's likely to be months.

>>12864657
Nooooooooooooo!!!

>>12864657

You know... soon in a relative way. Like, soon based on the story time-line not real life soon.