Okay, you've admitted she's much better at this whoel subterfuge thing, both as a player and a character, yes?
Time to go over a few ground rules: You are moving WAY too fast. The reason for the whole, "Hey, I know where everybody you care about lives, and I'm going to force you to live a lie in front of them!" thing came from you poking around where you shouldn't have. Not yet, anyway. Yes, chain of evidence, things being destroyed, etc. Unfortunately, this doesn't help that you were building evidence against her (Stage 4) when you needed to be focusing on Building Back to Normal (Stage 1).
First you Build Back to Normal, then you Make Friends, finally you Drop Off The Grid For Upgrades, then you Build Up Evidence, and finally you Return To Confront Her. You showed your hand way too fast, she knew you were against her, and she confronted you.
Now, the fact is, she seriously fucked up. The mental torture of having you squirm, living a lie to save your family was golden. But then she proceeded to hit you too heavilly with the threats at the lake, which will harden you against her. Seeing this, she tried to pull a Sympathy Changearound, which her earlier threats undercut, and which was too hastilly built to be very convincing.
You need to find the mole, but that's low priority right now. Higher priority is working on a plan to convince her you're not a threat, and, if you're lucky, convince her to actually help you.
After all, stealling from your enemy to strengthen yourself is doubly effective in combating them.