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  • File : 1291830530.jpg-(19 KB, 400x170, 106337.jpg)
    19 KB Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)12:48 No.13077379  
    Have you ever played a sentient ooze? Do you have any suggestions for playing one?

    Pic related, it's my proposed characterrreerblblblglck.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)12:52 No.13077425
    i oozed something sentient once. its the definition of being a deity.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)12:54 No.13077441
    inb4 slimegirl porn derail and deletion
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)12:56 No.13077457

    >> The Bearded Bear 12/08/10(Wed)12:58 No.13077482
    I have.

    One thing that's fairly easy to pull off: slimes and such don't work the same way: "Wait, you're saying that being CUT can kill you?". You can play around with this a lot. But the exact details are setting/character specific.
    >> The Bearded Bear 12/08/10(Wed)12:59 No.13077485
    >slimes and such don't work the same way
    Add "as humanoids".
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:04 No.13077536
    I see no problem with this.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:11 No.13077603
         File1291831903.jpg-(51 KB, 395x575, slime.jpg)
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    I just like the idea of silently creeping up on someone, and after successfully grappling them, absorbing them and leaving their slime-coated armor and weapons for their friends to find.

    Some kind of ...rogue..assassin ooze...
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:14 No.13077633
    I've never gotten to play it, but I've always wanted to play a Gentleman ooze bard who lives on Sigil. He enjoys opera and absorbing fine works of art.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:14 No.13077634
         File1291832091.jpg-(61 KB, 562x450, gelatinous cube swashbucler.jpg)
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    >spelt wrong
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:16 No.13077648
         File1291832218.jpg-(420 KB, 1000x881, 1283646759.demien_fuck_taran11.jpg)
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    > absorbing fine works of art
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:18 No.13077658

    Best (and scariest idea) ever

    >drawing it now
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:20 No.13077667
    I awakened a Living Fireball once for Tomb of Horrors.

    Getting to ooze in and out of traps to disable them was pretty sweet, even if that gargoyle monster *did* kill me to death in the third room.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:21 No.13077671
    Do...do you think you could sketch my idea quickly? He's a simple rounded green ooze with a top hat and cigar...I would love you forever!
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:22 No.13077683
         File1291832545.jpg-(275 KB, 651x755, Oozemaster 1.jpg)
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    This wouldn't work in the way you think, because all Ooze have 0 for an intelligence score. They are quite literally mindless.

    However, I can direct you all to several classes that would suit all your needs quite well, if you would oblige me.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:24 No.13077704
    I've used this PrC in a 3.5 game with a lot of other splat books included. It sadly didn't measure up balance wise.
    The PC still had a blast with it, but was obviously underpowered.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:26 No.13077718
         File1291832768.jpg-(299 KB, 649x761, Oozemaster 2.jpg)
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    The Oozebound is a homebrew class that takes the concept of a rather lackluster 3.0 class and takes measures to update it to 3.5 mechanics.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:27 No.13077726
    I think Awaken Ooze was a spell in one of the magazines
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:27 No.13077729
         File1291832849.jpg-(95 KB, 756x540, Ivan Fucking Ooze.jpg)
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    And it would help if I posted it!

    One could easily play for five or so levels of Cleric before becoming an Oozebound and the like, but there is also a Non-Prestige Class that would provide you with some Ooze-based abilities right off the bat.

    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:28 No.13077732

    >splat books

    Oh you.

    I think there was a spell in one of the Dragon Magazines to awaken an ooze, like the other awaken spells. Didn't make them terribly bright, but it works.
    >> The Bearded Bear 12/08/10(Wed)13:28 No.13077733
    Actually, there is a playable ooze race in one of the FR books. Hummm... "Underdark" I think? They are shape-shifting-jelly-man-things. Then you have homebrew.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:29 No.13077746
         File1291832974.jpg-(246 KB, 651x757, Thrall of Jubilex.jpg)
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    A three level dip into Thrall of Jubilex also grants you the ability to summon a slime, though at this late stage you might opt for something else. Overall anyone taking this route is going to be doing it more for the flavor and unique abilities than anything else, so optimizers and powergamers should probably steer clear.

    That being said, there's still plenty of potential for fun and usefulness here.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:30 No.13077762
         File1291833041.jpg-(224 KB, 635x753, Slimelord 1.jpg)
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    There's also the Slimelord, but it seems like a poor-man's substitute that doesn't take the logical steps into becoming a complete abomination.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:30 No.13077767

    Golden, bro.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:31 No.13077776
    >Oozy Glob
    >Uzi Klobb
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:31 No.13077778
         File1291833118.jpg-(143 KB, 447x697, Slimelord 2.jpg)
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    One proposed progression I've heard is:

    Cleric 5 (Domains of Slime and Watery Death) / Oozebound 10 / Thrall of Jubilex 3 / Whateverthefuck
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:32 No.13077785
         File1291833176.jpg-(11 KB, 258x195, KLOBB..jpg)
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    Oh you.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:33 No.13077789
    That build sounds like it'd make a nice character that's sure to get along with others.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:35 No.13077800
         File1291833304.gif-(1.12 MB, 250x141, Creepy Slime Thing.gif)
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    The roleplaying potential here is pretty high, especially if you start off as a Cleric before you've gotten a chance to add Oozebound levels. The gradual degradation of both mind and body into something more primitive, yet somehow more "evolved" is something that could really affect the party on a deep level. How long could you hide it, this slow and steady descent into madness?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:36 No.13077816
         File1291833418.jpg-(149 KB, 800x1200, Gluttonous Slime.jpg)
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    My idea is a bit less silly than that. Don't play up the "I'M SO EVIL AND SLIMY" aspect, play up the alien mindset aspect.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:39 No.13077841
         File1291833549.jpg-(62 KB, 285x849, awakenOoze.jpg)
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    Here it is. Dragon 304, page 38.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:39 No.13077844
    So kinda the Alienist for a cleric, damn I just wanna make these some fill in the blanks NPCs.

    oh and a cancer mage, gottahave those somewhere.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:40 No.13077850

    That's exactly what I was looking for. Thanks!
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:41 No.13077861
    Humans and MAgic, don't gotta explain shit.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:52 No.13077947
         File1291834324.jpg-(228 KB, 707x1000, Slime.jpg)
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    It was into a dark place we fell, and even my sharp eyes were at a loss to discern the rolling bits of stone debris from my fellow miners. I felt several hard jolts against my back and my arms, tumbling against the jagged walls of the pit. It was likely the only thing that saved me, slowing my descent just enough to survive the impact with the cavern floor. A small blessing, and one that I would eventually come to regret.

    My comrades were not all as fortunate. The sound of falling stone was interrupted intermittently by the harsh crack of snapping bone and squelch of severed meat.

    As the dust began to settle I heard groans and muffled cursing, and I was relieved to find my brother Bhelen not ten feet away, clutching a shallow wound on his scalp but otherwise none the worse for wear.

    "Damned Godfrey," he choked, spitting a globule of blood from his lips. "Mayhaps next time ye won't be so eager tae test the structual integrity of the floor with yer fat arse!"

    "Don't think he'll get the chance, Bhelen," another weak voice rasped.

    "That you, Hurden?" I asked, casting my eyes about the small chamber.

    "Aye. Tae yer left."

    Struggling to our feet we found him half trapped beneath a slab of ruined granite, which we quickly took pains to extract him from. The old spitfire of a dwarf looked especially gray and frail in the half-light of our darkvision, and as we helped to brace him against the rubble his face was set in a pained grimace.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:56 No.13077980
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    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)13:57 No.13077991
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    "These legs have seen better days," he joked, barely suppressing a hiss as he shifted his weight upon them. The knees of his trousers were a shade darker and slick with blood, and by the odd way the fabric fell it was clear the bone had pierced clean through.

    "Bah, they look fine," I lied, but the words fell flat. Back in those days I had little knowledge of the healing arts, and was certain the man wasn't likely to walk again.

    "What were ye sayin' about Godfrey?"

    He sighed, a sound I knew all too well, and gestured weakly behind us.

    A stout arm twisted oddly out from under a rock that had scarcely enough room beneath it for a sheaf of paper, let alone a fully grown dwarf. There was a brief moment of silence. Godfrey had been a pebble-brained fool, prone to rash decisions, arrogance, and novice mistakes, but like the rest of us he had a home and a hearth that would mourn his passing. For all our faults in life, we were all equal in death.

    "Where are the tools?" Hurden asked tiredly.

    "Barring some monumentally horrible luck, laying out in the open here abouts," I said, trying not to sound doubtful.

    "Well don't go and get me hopes up unless ye manage tae get some rope. I can't even see the torches back in the hall."

    Craning my head up, I saw that he was right. There was no warmth to be seen overhead, just a deep splotch of shifting blue and black that went on forever.

    "What kind of shitheaded beardless idjits thought it a bood idea tae build a blasted three-foot-depth floor over a damned chasm?!" Bhelen roared, his voice echoing up the shaft and fading into a whimper.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)14:04 No.13078036
         File1291835049.jpg-(61 KB, 500x750, Dwarf Noble.jpg)
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    "Could be the hole wasn't here when they built it," I said, giving the walls a better look. Even in that choking blackness I could tell that the tunnel was far more fresh than the ruins it supported. There was a certain sheen to them where something had built up, a residue or some such. In my ignorance I hazarded to the others that some underground river might have been diverted and channeled through the weakened stone.

    "Well we kin debate the finer points o' hydrology when we're back home with a few pints of whiskey poured over these useless stubs o' mine," Hurden croaked sarcastically.

    Wasting no more time, we set about searching amongst the old rocks. The space was filled with a desperate rumbling as we tossed everything our hands could reach aside, knowing that without the tools in hand we stood little chance of making it back home. Most of our kind knows on some instinctive level that he is destined to die in darkness and surrounded by stone, but none of us were all that eager to hurry ourselves to that fate.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)14:13 No.13078122
         File1291835608.jpg-(157 KB, 600x920, Mountaineer Dwarf.jpg)
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    Only when we'd exhausted ourselves scrounging under every single other nook in sight did we turn our attention back to Godfrey. Me and my brother shared a grim stare, our eyes gleaming like sapphires in the murk. Without another word between us we curled our hands beneath the granite block and heaved, bending at the knees and pressing ourselves against the lethal weight of the stone until it began to lift and grind to one side. There was a wet clattering, and beneath it we found what we had been looking for.

    Sticking out from the pile of viscera and bone were the tattered remains of our packs, several hundred yards of coiled rope alongside a jumble of pitons and picks. Two of the picks were shattered and another was nowhere to be seen, but the last seemed sturdy enough in the hand to be used.

    "Shitty luck, but I'd expect nothing less," Bhelen grumbled. "Since when have things ever gone our way?"

    "Better a sliver of hope than none at all," I said, doing my best not to stain my boots with Godfrey.

    "Ye find the damn tools or what?" the old man's voice yelled. It sounded so faint, even though he lay not a few meters away.

    "Aye. Only one of the picks though. Could be a few days o' work unless we're swift."

    "Well then, it's a good thing we all ate beforehand, eh?" he laughed, a small and choking thing.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)14:23 No.13078223
         File1291836230.jpg-(505 KB, 971x1179, Dwarf Elder.jpg)
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    That's when I heard it, a faint and unwholesome sound. It was scarcely even there, more imagined than real, and for a moment I was certain that's all it was. Neither Bhelen nor Hurden seemed to hear it, ignoring me as a stayed rooted to the spot and cocked my ear to the void. My skin went cold, as though every ounce energy was being spent solely on the act of listening.

    There it was. An undercurrent, like rushing water beneath one's feet or the steady pulsations of a drilling mechanism in the forge across the street. It was a sound one could feel more than hear, a deep and slithery thing that ignored the ears and seeped into the skin and bones.

    "Ye gonna help me with him or not?" Bhelen asked impatiently, and I saw him attempting to raise the pale form of Hurden with one arm. "We should move him closer tae the wall."

    "Can't ye hear that?" I asked, an almost reverent whisper. "It's all around us now. Can't ye feel it? Like, like a second heartbeat?"

    The two looked at me like I was mad, but I knew it was not madness swelling in my breast. It was fear, a deep and mindless fear that I was at a loss to explain or answer for. It was growing louder all the time, like a strangled scream or muffled storm wailing away in my heart and shaking me, shaking me to my core.

    Or perhaps it was simply the hands of my Brother clasped around my shoulders, angrily jolting me back and forth as if I was some drunkard.

    "Wirrel? Wirrel, ye daft git, get a hold o' yerself!"

    "Beneath," I gasped, pinpointing the source. "It's from beneath."
    >> The Harlequin Rose 12/08/10(Wed)14:28 No.13078266

    Keep going. This is good.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)14:34 No.13078318
         File1291836887.png-(61 KB, 261x383, lol_wut_slime.png)
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    >Crawl beneath sleeping sentry's armor.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)14:36 No.13078333
         File1291836985.jpg-(467 KB, 900x707, The_gelatinous_green_cube_by_S(...).jpg)
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    We'd spent almost an hour scouring that pit, yet in our haste we had completely overlooked the very floor that we stood on. We'd failed to notice the pores, the deep pockmarks that seemed to burrow down even deeper like miniature versions of the tunnel we'd fallen into.

    And from it, slow at first but steadily picking up speed, was a pale green light. Even Bhelen could hear it now, taking a step back and readying the lone pick like it was an extension of his own arm. It was useless, and perhaps even he knew it. Such is the way of the Dwarf, to stand before suicidal odds.

    At last it began to pour from the rock like pus from a wound, gelatinous tendrils that hissed and sent up geysers of noxious steam as they mindlessly consumed everything they came into contact with. As each one met the open air they writhed, a web of pumping veins that soon converged on one another and formed a single and terrible mass of acidic jelly. Its form was only barely contained, a phosphorescent lump that bubbled and boiled in some blasphemous language that was no language at all.

    Bhelen, my brother to the last, shoved me aside and screamed with all the savage fury of a man who knows he is about to die, heaving the mighty pick overhead and cleaving into the slimy mass. The sheer force of the strike blew a hole clean through it, splattering the far wall with bits of goo. But after a moment the hole filled itself, and the strewn globules began to move of their own accord. The residue on the blade of the pick began to seethe, but the hardy Dwarven metal was not so easily bested.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)14:43 No.13078404

    I like where this story is headed. :D
    >> The Harlequin Rose 12/08/10(Wed)14:46 No.13078429
    "Such is the way of the Dwarf, to stand before suicidal odds."

    Good line.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)14:49 No.13078444
    Now this is the proper way to close an Ooze thread. Keep going!
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)14:50 No.13078457
         File1291837848.jpg-(173 KB, 797x652, Slimebeast.jpg)
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    He did not let the futility of it deter him, flailing away at the gurgling thing with a ferocity that would have made our father proud. Each savage blow scattered chunks of the thing that only served to bolster its numbers, but the speed at which his arms flew denied them even an inch. It was as though the gelatinous creature had been thrown into a meat grinder, and if it had possessed a mind I am certain it would have known fear for the first time in its unnatural life.

    But fear was as alien to it as cowardice was to Bhelen, and while it would never tire I could already see my brother's arms beginning to slow from the effort. It was then that I realized that he was yelling to me, wasting precious breath to impart a final message over the whistling howl of the pick and burbling splatter of its victim.

    "Get out o' here, ye mud-brained fool! Ye always were fond o' makin' me waste my time," he said, laughing like one possessed. "What kind o' dwarf are ye, sittin' around while ye have two good legs and arms? Don't ye have a wife tae get back tae? Climb, for stone's sake, CLIMB!"

    It was like a switch had been flipped in my skull, and all the survival instincts that shock had suppressed came flood back in waves. I hesitated a moment, giving Bhelen's straining back one last stare before locking eyes with Hurden. The old man looked haggard, barely more than meat clinging to a pile of bones, but he managed a smile and whispered something I could not hear.

    I dug my hands into the rock until my nails ran hot with blood, as though sheer force could will it to turn into mud. Perhaps it was the residue still caked to the porous rock, or perhaps it was just sheer wild adrenaline, but I soon found myself scaling the sheer surface with a speed that only fear and desperation could impart.

    I looked down only once, and Bhelen was still fighting when his form finally vanished into obscurity.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)15:02 No.13078586

    Is there more?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)15:06 No.13078622
         File1291838782.jpg-(156 KB, 658x1000, Broken Dwarf.jpg)
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    "Of course, I survived that day. I returned to my wife and my clan, and sent a rescue party down for my comrades. They found nothing, as I suspected they would. Just an empty space, without any trace of death. The way it should be."

    As the retelling ended, I found a faint smile in my memory that seemed appropriate, showing it to my new comrades over the campfire in some attempt to ease the tension from their drawn faces. The flames uttered a small and uncertain crackle into the still night, as though it too had been listening with bated breath. The warmth was pleasant, and I soaked it in gladly.

    "But I don't understand," the paladin asked, finally daring to speak. Joseph, I believe. Names seem so inconsequential these days. "I am sorry that such a tragedy befell you, but it doesn't explain why you would become what you are?"

    I kept the smile, deeming it suitable for my needs. "Of course it does. That's just the thing about tragedy, is it not?"

    My arm slithered down my side, melting over a nearby stick and prodding it at the wasting logs until the air sizzled with sparks. Yes. Warmth was truly delicious.

    "It sticks with you. Like a shard of glass lodged in the cranium. It splinters into pieces, shredding everything in its path until all that's left is a pale imitation of the man you used to be, and a shattered personality reflecting blood and gristle and old pains."

    I willed Bhelen's face to grin. I always did prefer his face.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)15:13 No.13078698
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    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)15:14 No.13078721
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    Brotherly love just got fucking creepy as shit.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)15:17 No.13078755
         File1291839420.png-(285 KB, 496x337, Yes!.png)
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    That's it, I'm giving this class a shot.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)15:18 No.13078773
    You, good sir, are a boss.

    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)15:26 No.13078879
         File1291839995.png-(3 KB, 188x128, 1282797077914[1].png)
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    >I willed Bhelen's face to grin. I always did prefer his face.

    That twist gets a 10/10, did NOT see that ending coming, excellent job sir.
    >> Magus O'Grady 12/08/10(Wed)15:30 No.13078937
    Palladium used to have a setting named Primorder, where the entire planet was ooze-and slime-based creatures.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)15:37 No.13079025
         File1291840625.jpg-(567 KB, 1180x692, Amoebic Beast.jpg)
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    >Primorder is a world inhabited by advanced and not so advanced organisms inspired by the single-cell organisms we all love. The dominant race on Primorder are the Amoeboids, appearing as a humanoid amoeba with the ability to shapechange into other humanoid forms. Their mastery of technology is in the manipulation of organic life. The Plasm R.C.C. are larger cousins to the Amoeboids, but instead of developing organic technology, developed magically and psionically. Two creatures of Primorder are also presented: The Blob, and The Sky Jelly. As well, Rodney provides a number of living weapons, machines, and vehicles, including specialized creatures for construction.

    Seems interesting, but I find that slimes lose some of what makes them so alien and terrifying if you've got an entire planet of intelligent ones.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)15:41 No.13079080
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    Thanks! I just wanted to express the idea I had for this hypothetical Slime Cleric, and merely explaining it in mechanical terms just didn't seem right.

    What drives a man to such desperate lengths? I decided to leave it a bit open to interpretation, as I'm not quite sure what feels *right* just yet. Did Wirrel simply go mad, perhaps already sensitive to the boneless blights of the deep? Did he see power in that mindless, untiring, seemingly invincible horde of sludge and wish to take it for his own? Or was it just some small desire to keep his brother alive in some small yet disturbing way?

    I'll definitely have to do more with this someday.
    >> Zach !!m1zNwNhpIw+ 12/08/10(Wed)15:45 No.13079125
    >ooze thread

    I love you guys. Quite possible in a non-platonic way.

    Have you ever pondered an alternate to the lich? Instead of being undead, a magic user decides to become an ooze? The whole idea of a little gelatinous cube wearing a wizard hat and declaring his evil intentions to a group of adventurers is pretty entertaining.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)15:47 No.13079162

    That's actually brought up in one of the Ooze-based class entries. Some, unwilling to actually become Undead, choose a bizarre alternate path that grants them similar immortality, resistances, and overall survivability.

    Of course a Lich will still be the King (or rare Queen) of living forever so long as they're smart about it, but I find the Ooze approach to be far more interesting. For starters, it's basically unexplored territory.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)15:50 No.13079188

    AAAAAAAAAAAND there goes my peaceful sleep.

    Brilliant show anon, brilliant I say.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)16:01 No.13079304
    someone cap this or archive this thread or something. this story needs to be preserved.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)16:09 No.13079406

    Eh, Ochremancy seems like it overlaps a bit too much with the other Ooze classes to really be a good base. It's basically just a non-Prestige class version of the others, stretched out past ten levels.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)16:11 No.13079433
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    I actually interpreted this in a different way, that Wirrel *didn't* make it out. What they encountered was nothing so mild as an ordinary, unthinking slime.
    The Dwarves dug too greedily, and too deep.

    >daemonians shockto
    Captcha seems to agree.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)16:16 No.13079489
         File1291842971.jpg-(13 KB, 400x225, Gentleman Emperor Zombie.jpg)
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    Egad, I hadn't even thought of that possibility! You've bested me at my own plot, good sir! Layers within layers...
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)16:16 No.13079492
    Archival of this thread requested.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)16:20 No.13079572
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    I don't get it.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)16:24 No.13079633
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    I don't get it.>>13078879
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)16:27 No.13079674

    It can be interpreted one of two ways from what I can see.

    Either Wirrel (assuming that's even his actual name) survived and has since altered himself to look like his dead brother, or neither of them survived and the Slime stole their personalities to use as a mask.

    Either way, downer ending.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)16:38 No.13079825
    Or san loss ending, everyone roll.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)16:39 No.13079828
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    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)16:45 No.13079916
    Chaotic evil black pudding. Serial rapists/murderer. Calling it The Midnight Violator.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)16:47 No.13079938
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    Welp, we've reached the logical conclusion of this thread's train of thought.
    >> Sasha !ApPkmtJbAE 12/08/10(Wed)17:37 No.13080541
    Doesn't that lead back to the Sentient Midnight Bliss /tg/ came up with way back when?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)17:42 No.13080606

    Yeah, that's in the archive too, I think. Gender-swapping abilities. And when it engulfs you, it makes you orgasm..yadda yadda yaddd. Now, look at this instead:

    Juiblex has many slime, pudding, ooze, and jelly "servants," although none are intelligent enough to serve the demon lord willingly -- except for one.

    Darkness Given Hunger is the largest black pudding known. It was possessed by a demon at Juiblex's command, and then an imprison possessor spell was cast upon the fusion, making it permanent. For centuries, the demon has dwelled within the pudding, and the two have truly become one in the foul depths of the Abyss. Now, Darkness Given Hunger is Juiblex's main servant, helping patrol the Abyssal layer upon which they both dwell, looking for food.

    Darkness Given Hunger: Unique advanced black pudding/demon fusion; CR 12; Gargantuan aberration; HD 30d10+240; hp 540; Init -3; Spd 20 ft., climb 20 ft.; AC 7, touch 3, flat-footed 7; Atk: +25 melee (2d8+10 plus 2d6 acid, slam); Face/Reach 20 ft. by 20 ft./15 ft.; SA acid, constrict 2d8+10 plus 2d6 acid, improved grab; SQ blindsight 60 ft., immunities, split; AL CE; SV Fort +16, Ref +8, Will +13; Str 25, Dex 4, Con 24, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 11.

    Skills and Feats*: Hide +11, Move Silently +27; Cleave, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (slam), Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes, Power Attack, Thrall to Demon.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)17:52 No.13080713
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    My awakened ooze character is going to be an existentialist philosopher. Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)18:17 No.13080994
    Given that this thread has mostly discussed PrCs that give oozelike traits, this may or may not be of any use, but I tried to come up with a playable homebrew ooze race once, several years ago. If /tg/ likes, I could try to find the file - would that be of use to anyone, or just saged for homebrew?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)18:19 No.13081010
    Throw it up here, bro.
    I've got a player that always has to have something new, and he's looking for a good race.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)18:30 No.13081124
    Okay, here goes.

    Swampfolk (Glu’ip)

    Also known as Slimelings, Mudfolk or Oozefolk, the Glu’ip are a contemplative and enigmatic people that originated in near-impenetrable marshlands. The secrets of their origin as a race remain unknown, even to themselves, but it is strongly believed that magic had something to do with their creation. This theory is compounded by the large amount of magical equipment that Glu’ip traders habitually offer for sale.
    Physically, a Glu’ip looks like a translucent blob of greenish-brown jelly that averages just under four feet tall in its natural form, although colonies that have established themselves in other lands have been known to be red-brown, ochre or even milky-grey. Upon closer inspection, small shapes can be seen floating inside, like bits of detritus in murky water. It is speculated that these are organs of some kind, although no dissection of a Glu’ip to find out has ever been successfully accomplished. They are, to a certain extent, able to control the shape of their bodies, although only the vaguest and most general shapes can be formed, and they seem incapable of consciously altering their colour or opacity. For interaction purposes, they usually tend to form a pair of arm-like pseudopodia about five sixths of the way up their body, and they find that their interaction with other humanoid races is made much easier if they make an indentation in their uppermost extremities to represent a mouth. They are even capable of forming additional pseudopodia for the purposes of wearing magical boots, although they have yet to master using them for locomotion, which tends to cause people to regard them strangely. They only tend to use their humanoid shape as long as it is necessary, or to make others feel more comfortable; amongst their own kind, they prefer to remain amorphous.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)18:32 No.13081147
    Glu’ip ‘breathe’ by absorbing oxygen directly through their surface, and they are capable of interpreting light in the same way as humanoids, although they have nothing recognisable as ‘eyes’. It is unknown what part of them does the interpreting, though, leading to theories that they might have some sort of ‘nucleus’ hidden in their murky innards. Their natural tongue is a thick, burbling language with similarities to Aquan, although they are capable of bubbling out other languages with a heavy accent. Glu’ip that have been talking for long periods of time often find that they have a light coating of froth on their uppermost extremities. The slimy substance that composes their bodies is mildy acidic (though not to the extent that it causes harm) and allows them to digest the leaves and small insects that form the bulk of their meals. They are capable of eating meat, but it takes a long time to dissolve properly, causing the equivalent of indigestion; thus, most stick to a vegetarian diet. When in mixed company, they often eat by pushing food into the area where their mouth should be, although this is strictly an affectation adopted to help others accomodate them.
    Glu’ip society has been noted by the few who have witnessed it to be very withdrawn and slow, almost stagnant. The Glu’ip themselves, however, prefer to think of it as ‘peaceful’. They are mostly content to live in their muddy homes and just exist, from day to day. However, since their first contact with outside races there has been a strong undercurrent of curiosity in the world around them and their own origins, and many take up careers that allow them to travel, either as traders, wanderers, or, of course, adventurers.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)18:34 No.13081176
    Glu’ip as a PC race:

    Glu’ip are Humanoids with the Shapechanger and Glu’ip subtypes. (Despite their very inhuman appearance and origins, the magic involved in their creation causes spells to interact with them as though they are humanoids, with the normal vulnerabilities to Charm Person spells, and so forth.) They possess the following racial traits.

    · -2 Dexterity, +2 Constitution, -2 Intelligence, -2 Charisma. Glu’ip are quite resilient, but they are sluggish and slow-witted.
    · Small size. +1 bonus to AC, +1 bonus on attack rolls, +4 bonus on Hide checks, -4 penalty on grapple checks, lifting and carrying limits ¾ those of Medium characters.
    · Base land speed 20ft.
    · +4 racial bonus to Hide checks made in a natural area of the appropriate colour (e.g. swamp for greenish-brown, clay/mud for reddish-brown, sandstone/desert for ochre and granite/slate mountains for grey).
    · Stable (Ex): A Glu’ip is exceptionally stable, as it has no real legs. It has a +4 racial bonus to ability checks made to resist being bull-rushed or tripped while on the ground (though not while climbing, flying, riding or otherwise not ‘standing’ firmly on the ground).
    · Ooze Heritage (Ex): For all effects related to race, Glu’ip are considered Oozes.
    · Glu’ip subtype: All Glu’ip have the following traits.
    *Alternate form (Ex): A Glu’ip’s natural form is a shapeless blob. In this form it gains a slam attack doing standard damage for its size (1d3 for the creature presented here), and it may slip through gaps and cracks as though it were two size categories smaller, but it may not perform the somatic component of spells, wear or use any items, and cannot carry anything that it cannot engulf (see below). It may assume its more humanoid appearance, though; doing so causes it to lose all of these traits, allowing it to interact with things normally.
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)18:36 No.13081203
    *Engulf (Ex): A Glu’ip may engulf objects or creatures three or more sizes smaller than itself simply by moving over them. It affects as many as it can cover, although it can exclude particular objects or creatures from this effect if it wishes. An opponent may make an attack of opportunity against the Glu’ip if it wishes, but doing so causes it to forfeit its saving throw to dodge. An opponent who does not make an attack of opportunity must succeed on a Reflex saving throw (DC12 + half the Glu’ip’s Hit Dice) or be engulfed; on a success, they are pushed back or to the side (opponent’s choice). Engulfed creatures are considered to be grappled and trapped within the Glu’ip’s body, and may suffocate. (The acidic bodies of the Glu'ip only deal 1hp of acid damage per day, so suffocation is a far more likely fate than death by hp loss.) A Glu’ip can expel an engulfed object or creature as a free action.
    *Resilient (Ex): Glu'ip have a less coherent shape than other Humanoids, and their 'organs' are smaller and fewer, making it difficult to wound them seriously. As a result, they count as having Light Fortification, granting them a 25% chance to ignore sneak attacks and critical hits.
    *Immune to Flanking (Ex): Glu’ip are immune to flank attacks by virtue of their morphous form.
    · Automatic languages: Common, Glu’ip. Bonus languages: Aquan, Sylvan.
    · Alignment is often True Neutral, although exceptions are commonplace.
    · LA: +0
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)18:52 No.13081378
    That's what I came up with, although it's several years old now. I wanted to actually do an Ooze race, but I remember I had problems keeping the level adjustment down, so had to do it as a humanoid with Ooze Heritage instead.

    Druid as a Favored Class came about as an extension of their shapechanging abilities; I figured they might take it up and experiment with Wild Shape to see what else they could turn themselves into. Then someone on the WotC boards wondered what they would be like with Monk as a Favoured Class, and I remembered the Bruce Lee "be water, my friend" quote, and wrote it in, just for the flavour, even though it's probably not particularly powerful.

    Anyhow, take it, play around with it, make it better, do whatever. Hope it's useful to you!
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)20:06 No.13082130
    This thread makes me want to make an ooze character so bad, I'm just struggling with a way to make it work, outside making an entire race. Big problem with existing slime/ooze/jellies is their stats; specifically their inherent 1 wis, which does not get buffed by Awaken.
    Maybe I should just fluff something, but where to begin?
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)20:13 No.13082195
    I expected goo-girls coming into this thread. Instead, I got

    >I willed Bhelen's face to grin. I always did prefer his face.

    >> [Bt3]Mordecai !!lDrKwaDFUBI 12/08/10(Wed)20:27 No.13082323
    >> Anonymous 12/08/10(Wed)23:14 No.13084409
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    It might simply be easier to choose a non-Slime race and have them "degrade" from there using one of the many class options outlined in this thread. If you really wanted to get into it right from level one, an Ochremancer seems your best bet--it's essentially an entire class composed of individuals who consumed slime samples and lived to tell about it, only to find their bodies altered as a result.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)02:18 No.13086250

    you could run the water genesai as a slime-folk.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)03:12 No.13086722
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    I've had several ideas for ooze-based races.

    One is basically the Symbiotes from Marvel. Starting out as a simple ooze that bonds with a host, providing the host the durability and abilities of an ooze.

    The slime is empathic and in fact feeds off the emotions of the host. The more intense the emotion the more tasty it is to the slime. This may lead to the proto-sentient ooze to provoking the host into danger or violence, relishing the taste of rage and adrenaline.

    This could lead to some interesting situations. Either the host resists and tames the wild nature of their symbiote or do they give in and use the powers of the slime for even bigger rushes?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)03:15 No.13086761
    One of the ideas I had for the origin of the slime-suits was that they were an experiment done by Aboleths or Illithid thralls of Jubilex
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)03:19 No.13086780
    Speljammers had them as Dralasites and Lumtuns, ripped from the Star Frontier's game.

    So, already been done in D&D. You're late.

    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)03:26 No.13086837
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    Well I don't know about playing one, but I know we encountered a recurring NPC like it.

    It started in a crypt, as one would assume. We believed it was sentient when it kept following us rather than just random movements. We knew it was sentient when it got us to a dead end. Some fucking quick thinking and luck, and we managed to escape barely, but it absorbed three of our armed escorts.

    Anyway so on top of being a big dangerous crypt we were having to play cat and mouse with this sentient slime, and as we progressed we found out it had more than one body, or multiple extensions of it's body. In the end we made it roughly where we were aiming, the tomb of an old king.

    We had lost 18 men though, 7 to traps and the rest to the slime still following us.

    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)03:33 No.13086877
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    We were sent down to this place to get an artifact sword by the current king. Well what do we find, but the old king whose sword it is, is animate. So he was a Lich and the sword his phylactery. Oddly enough though, he was a totally nice guy, though he didn't want to give up the sword to strangers. So we agreed to hold a meeting between him and the current king, to settle things proper.

    Before heading to the surface though, he told us about any traps we may have missed, and also summoned for the slime. A while later and a number had converged, looking ready to flood into the room. We were scared but the old king addressed it like a person.

    And what do we fucking find, but much of the slime either congeals or draws away to form a fairly normal (comparing slime to human) young woman. At least in shape and form she appeared normal, connected only by the legs to the rest of the jelly mass.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)03:38 No.13086916
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    I like this so much I had to start writing.

    There was an aberration in the universe.
    At the core of an otherwise unremarkable hunk of rock orbiting an otherwise unremarkable star, was a point of utter wrongness. Whether the planet formed it, or formed because of it, is immaterial.
    The significance of this point, however, is undeniable.
    Without it, there would be no meaning, for the universe would be no more than the clockwork of natural laws in there ordered procession.
    From this dark core, rationality fled, and things that should not be, invariably, are. From these emanations, the world began to form. Ordered elements in their primordial soup begat purpose; in its most primordial state, life began.
    And it progressed. Primordial Soup became oceans of beings, swimming across the virgin expanse, bubbling from the center of the world in ever-increasing variety, playing amongst itself and evolving into ever more complex forms. Epochs passed, and the tide of life has overrun the globe, the seas of primal chaos have become primal order, teeming with individuals from the microscopic to macroscopic, dominating even the land and air. No longer restricted to the dark womb of the earth, life explodes, flourishes, learns, and forgets.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)03:38 No.13086917
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    Her name was Brigid, 24-year-old mage when she achieved slime mastery/consistency. She hailed from a swamp/marsh land where such studies were available.

    That was a long time ago, nowadays she took up lucrative contracts from Lich's, Dragons, Dwarf Lords, and other great beings to, what else, clean their castles or dungeons. Such as was her current job, hired by the old king to clean the royal catacombs because he felt it was becoming too cluttered.

    We just happened in at the unlucky time when she was busy cleaning, and a stipulation of her job was keeps on anything she came across that didn't belong in the place she was cleaning. The current king we were working for didn't know of the whole situation down below, nor did the old king of the situation above.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)03:39 No.13086929
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    Today, sentients manipulate and transform the world to their whims, both through ingenuity, and conspiracy. They build, they colonize, they dominate, they innovate. They learned the Laws of the Natural World, their subtleties, and their malleability. There is more than the flow of law, they know. Magic, they call it. To them it is both fascinating and ordinary, ancient, and modern. To them, it is a law of nature in and of itself.
    For has it not always been?
    The Laws of Nature are ours to do with as we please, and we shall.
    And great Magic they performed, vibrant, powerful, and strange energies they channeled, that cracked the sky, shaped the earth, and churned the abyss.

    Far, far in the depths, what remained from the dawn of life stirred. Dormant for untold epochs, that chaotic stew, in its stagnant caverns in the deepest recesses of the world, sensed. Slowly, hesitantly, the primeval mass became aware of presence of "other," and once more churned with purpose. It stirred, grew, again slowly seeped from the dankest pores, through countless more eras untold, until, one fated day, a group of miners collapsed a shaft...
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)03:42 No.13086944
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    The other idea I had was sentient slimes using technology/magic to give them a rudimentary humanoid shape for dealing with the rest of the world.

    Originally these slimes were actually more like superintelligent jellyfish. Aquatic their whole body functions as a brain for them. Unable to move onto land or really manipulate anything beyond their weak telekinetic ability they developed two ways to contort and control their bodies.

    One way is they developed an artificial membrane that would keep them in a vaguely humanoid shape. Providing mobility outside of water and keeping them from drying out. Though these membranes are considered to be rather uncomfortable and cramped by most members of the race.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)03:44 No.13086958
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    So when we went down there for the sword, she thought we were intruders rather than actual troops of the current king to whom the place belonged. As such she didn't bother to check with the old king, and just figured to remove the intruders as she would anything else.

    Learning of our situation, she profusely apologized, and spit out a few of the soldiers she hadn't yet completely dissolved, as well as the personal effects of those she had. After that things proceeded fairly smoothly, the kings met, things were settled, and everything turned out quite fine. We were just witnesses to the meeting which lasted a few hours, and the whole time Brigid continually expressed her regret and apologized nonstop, if she'd had known, if she could take it back, etc...

    Us personally didn't much care, because none of us had died, but still it was plain to see how she'd drawn the ire of a few here and there.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)03:44 No.13086960
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    The other idea I had was a device that the ooze would inhabit or engulf. Amplifying their telekinetic ability to shape their forms and keep them hydrated it allows the race to manipulate their enviroment with all the freedom their imagination and elasticity can provide.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)03:48 No.13086980
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    Anyway that was the first time we met her. We actually gave her the contact info of some other mines and castles we'd come across that she could find work at, just to let her know that us personally didn't harbor any ill will.

    And so throughout the campaign we encountered her here and there, as much as we would any other recurring NPC. Oddly enough though, not again in a dungeon crawl, and we actually ended up working with her on more than one quest.

    Anyway so that was Brigid the arch slime/ooze/gelatinous mage, one of the more colorful characters we met during our travels. Crazy shit.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)04:01 No.13087060

    Why so puddi?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)04:03 No.13087081
    Like a skeleton?

    Anyone in this thread remember Unicorn Jelly?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)04:06 No.13087103

    fuck! I'm trying to forget!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)04:06 No.13087104

    One of the first things I thought actually. Didn't want to bring it up because JDR related drama.

    I'd imagine you could get something like this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cJoTelb33Y

    captcha: denturp houses
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)04:10 No.13087129

    Heh. Someone needs to stat a bacterium now. Fine-sized Ooze with a disease attack?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)04:14 No.13087153
    Well, if they were intelligent and crafty enough...
    Find something flexible they could choose not to eat through, and wrap it around the joints.
    Though I'm not sure whether that would be more or less off-putting.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)04:17 No.13087165
    Counts as Nothing
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)04:56 No.13087370
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    >This fucking thread

    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)05:03 No.13087394
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    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)05:05 No.13087399
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    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)05:06 No.13087400

    If not a character, then I want to have a villain be a giant who is also and oozemaster.

    He/she have been terrorizing the countryside by wiping out entire villages and towns. They traipse into the middle of the settlement, then turn to ooze, flooding the area and absorbing/dissolving anyone unlucky enough to no t be within a tightly sealed building.

    It's like that old movie The Blob, but able to change to a humanoid body.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)05:12 No.13087423
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    >Plus all those fucking posts with the dwarf-slime story

    And then /tg/ was the shoggoth
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)05:22 No.13087460
    Someone's going to have to tell me where that pic is from.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)05:37 No.13087504
    Seconding this, what the gorgeously animated hell?

    >instance!, derdlers
    I don't think that's the one we're thinking of, captcha.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 12/09/10(Thu)05:42 No.13087519
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)08:16 No.13088341
    I always thought /tg/ was a gibbering mouther...
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)08:23 No.13088390
    Oh fuck I was just thinking how a race of slimes could work a few hours ago, in the context of an mmo

    You see, every once in a while a slime gets lucky and retains the mind and personality of the person it dissolves, effectively making it an intelligent being
    But since slimes usually don't have the ability to do stuff on their own, the slime has to find other sentient slimes and stupid races willing to work for him.

    Eventually they form a community, in which they build special "slime suits" which are like an 1880's diver suit, only made to allow slimes to walk on land and do stuff.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)09:35 No.13088917
    thats a cool idea.
    how about the BBEG is a slime who learned to constrict himself in such a manner as to not require a proper suit, but instead take over a suit of armor (having absorbed its contents). follow that with splitting his consciousness and you get a slime plague. knights in full plate catch a glob thrown at them -it seeps into their armor and then the knight shortly falls off his horse, writhing and screaming in pain... then falling silent, before standing up again.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)10:55 No.13089572
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    As disturbing as the idea is, I almost think slimes lose some of what makes them so horrifying when they're not encountered in dungeons and the like.

    Bear with me for a moment. It's kind of like the same fear one feels in the middle of the ocean amongst sharks. You're this little floundering thing, while they are a creature perfectly adapted to the environment you're in. The same could be said for dungeons and caves. Quarters are cramped or visibility is practically null, you have to rely on your eyes, and without spells you're forced to walk through halls or natural caverns.

    Slimes on the other hand possess Blindsense, eat through both weapons and armor, can climb walls with little to no effort, and slip into just about any crack, no matter how small it may seem. They have the advantage of maneuverability, durability, increase their numbers as you attack them--they're basically a subterranean adventuring party's worst nightmare.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)10:58 No.13089589
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    Genius Party Beyond. One of the shorts.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)11:15 No.13089690
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    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)11:16 No.13089698
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    I don't know what I just watched, but god damn did it fuck my head sideways.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)11:25 No.13089751
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    >mfw this thread is still alive
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)11:28 No.13089768
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    You'd need a train to kill this thread n-
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)12:01 No.13090002
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    Did somebody say Sentient Oooze?

    Okay, Schlock is a Carbosciliate Amorph, not an "ooze", but you could easily model an ooze-character off of him.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)12:04 No.13090010

    Looks like a sentient piece of shit. Literally.

    Awakened Dung? Oh the possibilities...
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)12:14 No.13090071
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    Terrible Idea is terrible.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)12:18 No.13090095

    I have no idea what that was, but it would make an awesome campaign setting.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)12:21 No.13090120
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    Agreed. Some sort of bizarre dystopia where everyone's living in underground tunnels, clattering robots controlled with human gray matter are used as enforcers, and horrifying yet somehow adorable aliens (or something else not of this world) composed of what appears to be the gelatinous form of PURE IMAGINATION are grown like crops by fringe groups, terrorists, or just lonely souls.

    I mean, what the hell.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)12:22 No.13090121

    It's from a really shitty webcomic, so it's just fitting.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)12:25 No.13090139
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    Even if it were kept on a smaller scale, and it was just freaks inserting aberrations into stuffed animals for kicks... When that fucking rabbit started moving my eyes were bulging out of their sockets.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)12:27 No.13090154

    I like how the short barelly explained anything, and when it did it just created more questions. Also all those little weird details. "Lost Oil of Life"? "Dead End"? And what's the significance of the robot shutting down at the end? And the agents weird supernatural powers? Honestly, it wouldn't have been half as good if they gave some exposition or closure, the weird chain reaction of ideas inside my head right now is part of the fun.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)12:29 No.13090168

    And why did the blobs back in the apartment pop when the big one did? It implies there's some sort of unseen connection between them, like as if they are all just one entity in separate bodies and places. Damn this is awesome.
    >> Sasha !ApPkmtJbAE 12/09/10(Thu)12:45 No.13090308
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    That's an odd way to spell "epic-level space opera".
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)13:22 No.13090556
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    Stagnation. That's a two dollar word. Depression, now that's another one. A city can stagnate, of that I'm certain. That's what happens when people stop caring about the future or the past and just accept the present like it came out of Santa's own fat ass. Production slows to a stand still, artist's paints run dry and gummy, writers take to publishing manuals and barely edited "new" editions of ancient textbooks, and restaurants close down because the effort of cooking doesn't quite seem as important as it used to be, like everyone's sense of taste has died on their tongues. Even the grafitti artist's slang-spun dictates and dialogues seem to lack their usual bite. Some even take to crawling through life on their bellies, dirty little rodent trash that can't be bothered to stand on two legs. That's stagnation.

    But can a city be depressed? Of course not, the men in suits would say, a city isn't a person, it's a *thing*, and a *thing* can't feel anything, let alone depression. But I have something to say to that. A city is more than just a thing, more than just towering metal columns and factories settled on concrete foundations and wormy with rusty tunnels and tubes and rooms cluttered with garbage and worn furniture. A city is defined by and made up of its people, and its people are most certainly depressed. And not in the good way either, the kind of sad but feverish depression that drives wild souls into fits of creation and lights the spark of development and change, but the slow rot of the mind that consumes everything until you're content to sit in a chair all day in front of a television screen that hasn't broadcasted anything but static for over a decade.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)13:23 No.13090568

    Whatever helps you sleep at night, bro.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)13:27 No.13090587
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    Sometimes it gets so bad that people just stop moving altogether, like their batteries suddenly ran out or a plug was pulled or a switch flipped off. The parts of the brain that compel them to do anything more than breathe go numb, or maybe they just liquefy and pour out the ears. They can still hear and see and smell and feel the world around them, but such is the colossal weight of their indifference that they simply stop responding to stimuli altogether. That's when the men in suits come to take you away, so it's said.

    It's also said that's where those clattering Jarheads come from, those overgrown tinkertoys that can tear a man in half and have no souls left to guide them. The gray matter sloshing around in those yellow heads of theirs has to come from somewhere, right? They're all very insistent that they just grow it in labs somewhere, but I have my doubts. Just last month my neighbor around the bend was taken away by those men, Lucy I think her name was. And then not a week ago one of those Jarheads came lumbering on by with its head tinking to and fro with that mindless gait, and it stopped not three feet from me. And I was sure that it stared right at me, though it's hard to tell, what with them not having eyes and all. It just stared at me, or maybe through me, like it knew exactly who I was. And then it just fizzled and wandered off again. And I wonder: will that be me someday, when I just lose the will to keep mucking on in this pit?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)13:31 No.13090611

    But why did the smaller ones pop when the big one did, and what was the orange stuff that came out of the man's hand?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)13:36 No.13090648
    /tg/ is oozemaster
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)13:43 No.13090697
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    The only inconsistency in this endless gray tedium are the Anomalies. The name doesn't quite seem to suit them right, but what else would you call them? Rumors abound and no one has all the details save the Suits and their superiors, whoever those are. Some swear they're all aliens come down from the stars, spawned from 'em even, seeking out their horrifying masters who lay undying in dread cities with insane geometries, perhaps even beneath our own. Bollocks. I suppose I can understand trying to inject a bit of excitement into life, especially things being the way they are, but I'm not so daft or crazy just yet that I'd believe anyone spouting off that nonsense.

    Others propose they're the result of some sort of experiment that escaped from whatever labs the Jarheads come out of, and that the Suits are just hunting them all down like dogs. Plausible, but I'm still not buying it. I've seen some of those things with my own two eyes, those phantasmic colours and gelatinous bodies bursting with vibrant and uncontrollable life. It was like a child's crayon drawing had come to life and started squirming around on its own, all bright squiggles and happy shapes popping from every orifice. I can't believe anyone as stuffy as those creepy bureaucrats could possibly create something like that, even accidentally. They've got all the boring cloisteredness of a devout monk--which may well be why some of them can manifest those strange lights you see some of 'em using--but none of the compassion or heart. Jarhead or Suit, they're both empty inside.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)13:57 No.13090785
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    Still more say it's just the accidental product of a bunch of toked up druggies experimenting with hallucinogens, chemicals, and a few billion volts of electricity, but I don't hold any stock in that.

    I've got my own theory, if you'd like to hear it. Imagination. That's another two dollar word, and possibly the most important one of all. Where has it gone? The city's starving for it, a dried up husk clinging to a past that none of us can even remember properly. We carve out words that have no meaning, recall symbols and shapes and brand names of things that don't even exist anymore. We're caught in this entropic field of ignorance and carelessness that drags all memories into its sluggish mire. All we can do is exist and put pieces into the slots we're presented with. We can't remake the mold or make decisions that could break it entirely, so we just fill it as best we can and move on to the next task. What happened to ingenuity? What happened to us?
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)13:59 No.13090802
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    What if those things, those Anomalies that laugh and sing and burble with the voices of children, are what's left of our imagination? Is it something so easily lost? Could it be that we've all been duped, put through a strainer and come out the bottom end missing all that makes us human?

    Perhaps they're all the ideas that have never been realized, given form and primitive understanding and an insatiable need to expand and multiply and grow, just like all good ideas should? But the Suits, those almighty censors, snuff them out like parasites at every turn for our supposed safety, cutting the roots of these ideas and puncturing all the others that branched out from that single source.

    Or maybe I'm just an old man with a mind caught in the final stages of degradation, and all this is just a dream or a delusion. Who's to say? Interpret my words as you will, and see if they light a spark or smolder into darkness.

    It's only an idea, after all.
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)14:03 No.13090837
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    Earlier Dwarf-writer here, couldn't help myself. As that will likely be the last from me, it's been a grand 'ole thread and I'd like to thank the OP for making it in the first place!
    >> Anonymous 12/09/10(Thu)17:00 No.13092073
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    Dude, you are a fucking genius and you can write-fag for me anytime. Fucking saved.

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