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  • File : 1292021678.jpg-(13 KB, 227x230, arm.jpg)
    13 KB Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:54 No.13103700  
    You are now a mutant, but your power is to say the least, not the most powerful.
    What is it?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:55 No.13103706
    I can glow faintly.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:56 No.13103716
    I have the ability to give my self a migraine on demand, I use it to get out of certain situations.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:56 No.13103719
    I can generate electrical currents from my hands, but they're only powerful enough to charge a AA battery or set dry paper on fire.

    Fortunately for me, I've always wanted to be able to light people's cigarettes with a snap of my fingers, so I am content.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:56 No.13103721
    Whenever I flip a coin I can make it land however I want every time. Even on it's side.
    >> LaBambaMan 12/10/10(Fri)17:57 No.13103723
    I have night vision, but it's on 24/7.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:57 No.13103724
    I all ways get what I want on any dice.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:57 No.13103726
    I can talk to papyrus.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:58 No.13103731
    The ability to communicate with the Chinese.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:58 No.13103732
    Eagle eyes- you know, really sharp vision.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:58 No.13103733
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    I can close my ear holes and nostrils at will.
    Seriously I can.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:58 No.13103735
    I can turn Coca-Cola into Pepsi.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:58 No.13103736
    A spreading version of Midas Touch, only with Plants > Marijuana

    I'd turn the entirety of the Amazon Rainforest into pot, then force the US government to let them sell it legally (giving me a share) in America under threat of turning all US crops into pot.
    When the cutting down/burning of the pot-forest fucks the planet, I'll use my massive profits to terra-form the moon.
    Then I'll turn it all into pot.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:58 No.13103737
    I have the ability to bleed out of my ears. Combined with my natural power to throw up whenever I want to, I can get out of any boring meetings and whatnot.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:59 No.13103745
    I can cause persistent itching over TCP/IP.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)17:59 No.13103748
    Unrivaled rage
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:00 No.13103758
    I can inflict earworms on people at-will.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:01 No.13103768
    I can turn invisible, but only if nobody is looking.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:01 No.13103772
    I drive delivery trucks and never miss a deadline. Ever.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:02 No.13103775
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:02 No.13103776
    What good will that do you? Ben Stiller had that power and it never really did any good.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:02 No.13103777
    Dude, that is the most useful power ever
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:02 No.13103779
    I can recognize any citation of Mystery Men.
    >> Blackheart !!d+z47tvchVl 12/10/10(Fri)18:02 No.13103783
    I can turn my teeth into brittle glass.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:02 No.13103784
    I can throw traffic cones 3 times as far as humanly possible.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:03 No.13103787
    I can make anyone to cum at will.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:03 No.13103789
    The ability to cause water to change state, unfortunately I do not decide which way it goes.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:03 No.13103794
    No. The real question is. What good wouldn't it do.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:03 No.13103797
    My fingernails taste like meat. Delicious, grilled meat.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:03 No.13103798
    I can tell the exact quantity of any items in a mixed bundle at a glance

    For example, I can glance at a pile of beans and tell you how many beans are there.

    I use it to win prizes at fairs.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:03 No.13103799
    I can turn all bones in a 50 yard radius into fire ants. I can only use the power once.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:04 No.13103804
    When I blow a balloon, it never pops. Ever.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:04 No.13103806
    Intuit North
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:04 No.13103807
    I'm completely immortal, to my own suicide attempts.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:04 No.13103810
    There was a shitty Avenger once who had a sort of similar power. He was weird as fuck. Tried it on the Hulk once, got punched in the face. GOOD END.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:05 No.13103813
    I can speak with Fir trees.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:05 No.13103815
    I can make anybody speak with a random accent.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:05 No.13103816
    Nigga say what?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:05 No.13103818
    I have a silly walk.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:05 No.13103819
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    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:05 No.13103821
    My anus is a constantly relocating portal to another place in the world. Sometimes I shit out mildly useful objects, sometimes things get stuck up there and are lost forever.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:06 No.13103822
    This power is too useful. You could simply trap people in rooms with balloons you've filled up.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:06 No.13103824
    a dense crowd of people.... terrible..terrible damage
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:06 No.13103827
    I can make people lose control of their bladder and bowels.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:06 No.13103829
    That's only because your bones became fire ants too. If you can get past that problem, everyone's bones can be the fire ants.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:06 No.13103831
    I excrete a gooey slime every time I sleep. It is mildly protective and stops me from eating bugs and having them fly into my ears while I sleep.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:06 No.13103833
    My belly button is a pencil sharpener.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:06 No.13103835
    >but your power is to say the least

    You just told me. I can only vastly understate things no matter what they are.

    This is a slightly disappointing power.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:07 No.13103839

    You shouldn't stick things in your anus.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:07 No.13103840
    If it works on bones still inside living people, that could be pretty damn cool that one time.

    ...If it also works on your own, not so much.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:08 No.13103844

    Of course, the power does not specify that his own bones are not also affected...
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:08 No.13103846
    I can know the exact weight of any fruitcake I touch (though only in metric)
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:08 No.13103847
    I can eat whatever junk food I want without getting heart disease and stuff.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:09 No.13103851
    of course either way... terrible.. terrible damage
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:09 No.13103852
    I can wiggle my ears real good.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:09 No.13103853
    I'm able to predict what my next captcha will be with perfect accuracy.
    >> Richard Motion 12/10/10(Fri)18:09 No.13103855
    I can eat metal.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:10 No.13103859
    My power is to instantly find the least useful power in any crowd I am part of.

    (...it's always me.)
    >> Naggarothian 12/10/10(Fri)18:10 No.13103860
    I can lead and shit gold. Still get lead poisoning though, and it's only a minute quantity of gold.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:10 No.13103862
    I can ejaculate in less than two minutes.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:10 No.13103866
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    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:10 No.13103867
    I can close any jar so tight the materials meld together. However only if someone unaware of my power asks me to open the jar.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:11 No.13103868
    Quantum immortality. You can't even tell the difference.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:11 No.13103872
    I intuitively know the name of any ska band playing within fifteen feet. I've never used my power.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:11 No.13103873
    I laughed.

    What is the name of our mutant hero squad?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:12 No.13103874
    I can turn any precious metal into an equal mass of pennies.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:12 No.13103875
    I hover over pitfalls and potholes automatically when running/walking. I fall down if I'm standing still or look down while running.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:12 No.13103879
    I can alter reality so that whenever I leave a social gathering, something amazing happens. Conversely, nothing amazing ever happens when I'm around.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:14 No.13103893
    Also, whenever you enter an establishment, it fills up if empty, or empties if full, but ONLY after you have made your purchase.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:14 No.13103894
    I am completely immune to the venom of the Daddy Long Legs.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:14 No.13103896
    I can fart in any color!
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:14 No.13103898
    That's a matter of opinion sir.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:15 No.13103901
    I'll never be a chicken being lovingly talked to by a beautiful Eastern European girl.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:15 No.13103902
    >Amazing Happenings man leaves Warhammer 40k tournament
    >Squad of Ultramarines comes to life and begins purging players for heresy
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:15 No.13103907
    I can drink piss then piss Gatorade.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:16 No.13103909
    I can speak in any accent flawlessly however when people speak to me if they are not speaking in my last used accent i cannot understand them.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:16 No.13103913
    I have superhuman skill at badminton.

    It's still an olympic sport, right? Right?
    >> Coffee-Kun !wdyCn5h.Tg 12/10/10(Fri)18:18 No.13103927
    Polyglot. That is all.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:18 No.13103932
    I'm capable of quoting every post I've ever seen on 4chan from memory. I can also draw rough sketches of every thumbnail I've seen on 4chan.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:18 No.13103934
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    I can fold any bill of any currency in such a manner as to turn them into unique and interesting looking things.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:18 No.13103935
    I can always catch any insect in mid-flight.
    >> Titanium Man 12/10/10(Fri)18:18 No.13103937
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    I have a very limited form of telekinesis. I can only move biscuits.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:19 No.13103940
    I can time travel, but only 2 minutes into the future and never back.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:19 No.13103942
    I have a second mouth just under my chin. It tells me the ending and every major plot point and twist in any movie or program I watch and any book I read.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:19 No.13103946
    I relive the worst memories of anyone I touch as long as I'm touching them.

    At least I have a good excuse for being forever alone.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:20 No.13103950
    Those are cookies, you strange foreigner.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:21 No.13103951
    My navel lint tastes vaugely of strawberries and whenever I sneeze, nearby dogs starts barking.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:21 No.13103953
    Any cookies that I bake will never go stale.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:21 No.13103954
    I possess the ability to nullify adhesiveness thus preventing me from getting glue on my hands however if i do not concentrate strongly things i touch will sometime become extremely adhesive and i cannot change it.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:21 No.13103959
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    >survivors tell me what happened

    Awww man ;__;
    >> lotti 12/10/10(Fri)18:22 No.13103963
    Probability is constant for me. Say I can by will "save up" chance by failing a coin flip 10 times in row, and then use it to win a roll where I only have 1/1000 chance of success.

    get rich gamblinb
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:22 No.13103969
    If I arrive between 1 and 2 hours late to a meeting/appointment, people will believe any excuse I make without question
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:22 No.13103970
    Wait you call Mcvities digestives cookies? What madness is this?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:22 No.13103971
    I can exert 4.3 newtons of force on anything in my line of sight three times per day.
    >> Titanium Man 12/10/10(Fri)18:23 No.13103974

    Cookies = biscuits in England.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:24 No.13103976
    I am 4% more efficient at masturbation.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:24 No.13103984
    We got cookies too though
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:25 No.13103987
    I can color inside the lines at will.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:25 No.13103988
    It's a cookie. Or biscuit, doesn't matter. It's sweet and baked, and not a cake, therefore a cookie. If you think it's not sweet you're american and addicted to sugar so much that anything ever made in europe feels sour to you.

    Okay, that's a good useless superpower, whatever you eat tastes sour, all the time.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:25 No.13103989
    No downside? No problem. All things generally taken as a given will sometimes have a random probability of failing. For example random anti-gravity, body will lose base involuntary functions such as breathing etc.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:26 No.13103993
    ...I know. Hence what I said.

    Apparently my power is to be misunderstood.
    >> Rick Dominated 12/10/10(Fri)18:26 No.13103994
    I have the same power, but since I live in America, I've never thought to try it on Cookies instead of Biscuits.
    >> Titanium Man 12/10/10(Fri)18:26 No.13103996

    The point is that I made a Mitchell and Webb reference. Yaaaaay
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:26 No.13103997
    The ability to make anything I eat taste better. Mind you it doesn't do anything about the thing I eat but it makes cafeteria food and vegetables easier to eat.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:26 No.13103999
    By touching an object I can visualize and estimate the mole-weight if I focus on the task of estimating real hard for 10 seconds.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:27 No.13104006
    That's incredibly useful, for survival purposes.
    Gunman in the room? Dissapear for two minutes, he'll probably be gone by the time you reappear.
    Get trapped in a cave-in in a mine? Keep popping forward until they break through.

    If you can do a pop every second, thats 120 minutes per relativistic minute.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:28 No.13104009
    I can read people like a coloring book.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:30 No.13104022
    i can eat rocks and gain healthy nutrients from said rocks, never have to buy food again
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:30 No.13104023
    I can turn my left index finger into a pencil. I'm right handed.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:30 No.13104024
    I can put a fully functioning zipper on anything i touch
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:30 No.13104026
    >coloring book
    You mean that you can see a childish version of their life up to now in black/white outlines, which you can mentally fill in?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:30 No.13104030
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    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:31 No.13104031

    My hair grows at 100 times the normal speed.

    It's not prehensile or anything, it just grows really fast. I can make wigs for cancer patients real fast, or weave it into ropes and nets if trapped on a desert island.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:31 No.13104037

    What survivors?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:31 No.13104038
    However you are absolutely disgusted by people who pleasure themselves and if you wish to masturbate you must use your touch for that day on yourself.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:33 No.13104050
    I can travel forward in time with the speed of regular time.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:33 No.13104052
    The only card I'm capable of drawing from a deck of cards is the three of diamonds.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:33 No.13104056
    >I can put a fully functioning zipper on anything i touch

    Damn! That's almost as bad as the 'Make A Door Anywhere In Space, including someone's body'

    Imagine, for good you could apply a zipper to a gunshot wound and pull out the bullet, before seaing it up and banishing the zipper.
    For evil, you could zip open someone's neck to kill without a knife.

    Or better yet, zipper apart two cars of a train at the axle! Wave goodbye to your assailants!
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:34 No.13104062
    My skin acts like litmus paper
    >> Techpriest Ishmael 12/10/10(Fri)18:34 No.13104064
    I can lick my own elbow...Seriously I can :<
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:34 No.13104066
    The index finger on my left hand turns into a gun and fires, but only when I'm scratching my head.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:34 No.13104068
    I have perfectly exact memory for the span of a year when thinking about things that happened fourteen years ago.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:35 No.13104076
    With that finger, or could you scratch your head with your pinky and point your index finger elsewhere?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:35 No.13104078
    however you have a debilitating fear of the number 3
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:36 No.13104089
    Gravity has 1.3 times its normal effect on me and anything within my line of sight that I choose to affect.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:37 No.13104100
    I can fly, but only upside down, and gravity still affects me normally.

    Yes, this means I either may fly with my back to the ground, or with my head pointed down.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:38 No.13104106
    Nah, bro. Imagine like a zipper attached to the exterior of something, without actually opening it.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:38 No.13104109
    Good for wrestling, ja?
    You are strong german boy, and always register as heavyweight despite stature.
    >> Rogal Dorn is my Homeboy 12/10/10(Fri)18:38 No.13104111
    I can become completely transparent and anything can pass through me. No one can ever defeat me but I can never defeat anyone.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:39 No.13104123
    I would troll every MTG tournament ever.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:39 No.13104127
    too mainstream. Kitty showed us the power of intangibility.
    Unless you mean that you can't controll it or anything.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:40 No.13104137
    So like, lightly adhered to the surface, and you can just peel it off?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:40 No.13104139
    I can speak any language and write it, but I only understand those I have learned.
    >> Rogal Dorn is my Homeboy 12/10/10(Fri)18:40 No.13104140
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    This guy. It may not be powerful but its fucking impressive.
    >> John !rAOwMGYtnY 12/10/10(Fri)18:41 No.13104144
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    I have nauseating bad breath that can be smelled from across the room.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:42 No.13104154
    I for see that as being incredibly useful ability, and great for trolling as well.

    See that passenger plane in the sky? Weighs a couple tons, but now it weighs a few tons more, down it goes! Sam for fighter jets in dogfights, would seriously throw of maneuverability.

    Maybe you are able to catch people as a cop by tripping them up with your mild gravity control.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:42 No.13104155
    I have the natural ability to pilot giant robots without any formal training.

    Now, as soon as they get around to making giant robots, I'll be good to go.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:42 No.13104161
    If badly injured my body will activate 'fight and flight' response- my body will run in random direction and wail arms in an uncontrollable manner.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:42 No.13104162
    I have the power to make anyone enjoy a certain anime as long as I am present in the room while they are watching it. Even the second season of haruhi.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:42 No.13104165
    captcha: self Exhilliz
    I can exhale without anyones assistance.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:43 No.13104175
    You are in luck! Japan and Germany both have giant robots in the beta stages! Not very maneuverable and tricky to pilot, but hey, here comes Ace Pilot Anon!
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:43 No.13104176

    Not weak at all.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:43 No.13104177
    I'm Dare-Devil.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:44 No.13104182
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    No, he had it right
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:46 No.13104204
    I can abort fetuses with my mind. Anything that's still attached to an umbilical cord counts.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:47 No.13104216
    That's pretty useful then.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:47 No.13104223
    So does that mean that if someone attacks you, you go 'feral' on their shit until the fights over or your flight is activated?

    Sounds like a more human version of beast-man type superhero.

    >Lierno Sicily
    You are Lierno, a Sicilian hit man.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:49 No.13104237
    That's actually pretty useful.
    "Honey, I'm pregnant! You're the father, so I want you supporting us!"
    "...Sorry, what?"
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:49 No.13104239
    I cant pick Any lock, i spend my days trying to find the lock that cant be picked.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:49 No.13104240
    You know how if you stare at a cloud and concentrate, it disappears? I can do that with any gaseous body.
    >> Gabu !!/x5aTNcLqXe 12/10/10(Fri)18:51 No.13104263
    I have the power to one-up people. But it can only be used on people who brag about things or when I'm drunk.
    >> 008 12/10/10(Fri)18:51 No.13104269
    The ability to make others perform random scenes from the Rocky Horror Picture Show movie complete with costumes.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:51 No.13104270
    I can detect whether or not someone is trolling or is genuinely confused.
    >> Millencolin !!Qy++8D2pwp7 12/10/10(Fri)18:54 No.13104293
    My power is I can push wet room temperature noodles out of my fingers unless I'm hungry then my power won't work.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:54 No.13104299
    At any given time, I have the link of a unique image of goatse memorized. If I link to a particular image of goatse, I will never link to it again.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:55 No.13104303
    I have super speed without any of the secondary or tertiary powers to support it

    I must constantly self regulate to keep from bursting into flames, breaking all of my bones, or liquefying my organs
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:55 No.13104308
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:56 No.13104310
    I can shit gold.

    Well, not really. It's just shit but I can convince anyone that it's gold. It only works when I try to convice people that my shit is gold, no other material triggers it.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:56 No.13104311
    I can travel 1 second into the future or the past, but it takes 1 second to recharge
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:56 No.13104313
    My perception of time is vastly slower than normal, but so is my cognitive processing speed.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:57 No.13104330
    The ability to make people doubt that I have a power.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:58 No.13104338
    I have the power to flawlessly navigate the route that allows longest survival time inside of a black hole's event horizon.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:58 No.13104341
    Subtle, isn't it?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:58 No.13104343
    I am the best organism in the universe at killing things with flails.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)18:58 No.13104346
    I know everything on the Internet that ever was or ever will be. EVERYTHING
    Oh god...why?!?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:02 No.13104373
    I have an extremely sensitive sense of touch.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:02 No.13104380
    >any gaseous body

    Even Jupiter?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:03 No.13104390
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:04 No.13104393
    The time to remove the object is linear with it's mass. Cloud takes 15 mins.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:04 No.13104396
    I can beat anyone at thumb wrestling.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:05 No.13104404
    Too powerful.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:06 No.13104411
    My mutation makes it impossible for me to see the color red. Instead, I see it as sort of an off-red.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:06 No.13104413
    Are you kidding me that's an awesome power
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:07 No.13104422
    Hey, that's not always a bad thing!
    Thank of it, you would be able to photographically remember and relive the most EPIC THREADS EVER!
    Feeling down? Remember the hundreds of awesome HFY! stories out there!
    Running a campaign as a DM? You have the collective knowledge of all the sourcebooks PLUS the advice of all DM's on all boards, including /tg/!
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:07 No.13104428
    I can turn fire ants into bones exactly once.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:07 No.13104429
    I can type pretty fast.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:07 No.13104432
    I can tell how recently someone's masturbated by shaking their hand.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:08 No.13104436
    Inclding women?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:08 No.13104437
    I have the power to absorb the abilities of any other mutant I encounter.

    I am also the only mutant on the planet.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:08 No.13104442
    And then you get random flashback of Sapphirus's drawings while having sex.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:09 No.13104445
    Everything I touch feels slightly disappointed and briefly entertains the notion of vagrancy.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:09 No.13104448
    My mutation is cancer.

    >literal interpretation get
    >> Gabu !!/x5aTNcLqXe 12/10/10(Fri)19:10 No.13104453
    But all the porn...dear god all of the porn.....ever see a dwarf take an insane amount of terrasque up the ass? That poor bastard probably has and can never unsee it.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:12 No.13104468
    Perfect elemental control over paperclips.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:12 No.13104469
    Including rocks?

    >Janiants taiking
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:13 No.13104473
    Child Porn, Child Porn everywhere.
    Gore, too.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:13 No.13104474
    Does this apply to inanimate objects as well? If so then best power ever.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:13 No.13104477
    I can grant you a wish as long as it is genuinely the most trivial wish you can think of. Every time I do this, I will die one year sooner than I normally would.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:13 No.13104481
    Yes, it applies to everything.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:14 No.13104483
    "Steve, where the fuck is that report I asked for last tuesday!?"
    "You aren't the boss of me! FIRE-CLIPS, ATTACK!"

    >phighted Labor
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:14 No.13104486
    Would it be possible for me to wish that you'd live 367 days longer than you normally would have?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:15 No.13104488
    Doesn't sound trivial to me.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:17 No.13104507
    The ability to make ducks dance.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:18 No.13104509
    I can levitate with the force of 90% of my body weight.
    So basicly feather fall.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:18 No.13104510
    My left and right pinky are slightly magnetic and of opposite poles.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:19 No.13104516
    I have the mutant power to set myself on fire with my mind.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:20 No.13104521
    I can telepathically send text to any printer in line of sight.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:20 No.13104524
    Could I reliably and quickly find my keys for the next year?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:20 No.13104525
    I can see perfectly despite any adverse conditions, but only if I wear sunglasses.

    Something's awry.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:21 No.13104536
    My powers give me ability to become virign again and I'm a guy...
    >> Golden Neckbeard !!LEZvari2Ffq 12/10/10(Fri)19:22 No.13104539
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    My fingernail clippings are highly explosive!

    They don't grow any faster, though.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:22 No.13104541
    I can render anything in my line of sight non flammable.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:22 No.13104543
    I can extrude hair, but I can't retract it.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:26 No.13104553
    My farts smell of freshly cut flowers and in the tune of E major.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:27 No.13104554
    Biological organisms function by combustion on molecular scale. You have the ability kill anything just by looking at it.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:27 No.13104561
    I can heighten my cholesterol at will
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:27 No.13104562
    If I concentrate, I can make a person think they're playing a third person RPG and try to zoom out.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:28 No.13104567
    my skin changes color at random intervals and includes color patterns and madness inducing colors of the warp
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:28 No.13104570

    Holy balls.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:28 No.13104572
    carry a mirror on hand, work as a fire-fighter.
    Before you go in a building, look at yourself in the mirror, then become AN HERO, minus the dying part.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:28 No.13104575
    >> Servant of the Emperor 12/10/10(Fri)19:28 No.13104576
    Why would you want to heighten your own cholesterol?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:29 No.13104580
    Problem. LOS dictates what is visible. Molecules and cells aint visible to the naked eye.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:29 No.13104583
    Why would you want to turn bones into fire ants?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:30 No.13104593
    To lower it
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:31 No.13104599
    I can accurately predict my post number.

    It only works sometimes...
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:31 No.13104600
    I can change the angle of any shadow in my line of sight by 1 degree.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:32 No.13104610
    what would that even look like?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:32 No.13104612
    I can accurately predict my post number.

    It only works sometimes...
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:33 No.13104620
    so A HERO?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:33 No.13104621
    off by one
    >> teka 12/10/10(Fri)19:33 No.13104623
    i know those thousands of hours in Paint would pay off.

    My Keys Are Almost Always Where I Left Them!

    no.. hmm..

    The power to have somewhat scaly and reptilian skin all over my body.

    It just grows in that way, can't control it. Looks somewhat lizardlike but not lizard-strength or regeneration. Just looks funny.

    So i guess that could be shortened to "The Power to make a moderate living doing specialized fetish photography and sideshows!"
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:34 No.13104628
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:34 No.13104631
    I can convert anyone to a religion once per day. The religion must already have over one hundred thousand participants.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:34 No.13104637
    I have the ability to understand any language spoken to me. This does not extend to written language, at least not without intense and extremely stressful amounts of concentration.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:36 No.13104647
    Do you always have to use your power when communicating or can you learn languages normally?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:36 No.13104652
    I have to consume human flesh (specifically brains) to survive, since my body is evolved to be a dedicated carnivore, and I have that awesome kuzu resistant gene.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:37 No.13104657
    Everyone necessarily must understand everything I say sarcastically as literal.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:37 No.13104658
    i can breath in lava
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:37 No.13104660
    After being bitten by a radioactive human my DNA mutates and I become !!! Downs-Syndrome man!
    With my retard strength I will cookies taste great with milk which is white like a pidgeon.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:38 No.13104667
    So you hear in your first language or whatever, but the speaker's mouth doesn't sync up at all with their words?

    So going to a foreign country is like watching a superlatively dubbed foreign film. Neat.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:39 No.13104674
    I have the power to move my heart to the other side of my body.

    Just my heart.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:39 No.13104675
    I can cum at will.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:39 No.13104676
    Any pillow that is in contact with my head is perpetually cool.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:40 No.13104693
    I instinctively know all of the cheats and exploits in any game I play.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:40 No.13104694

    This is a clear case of lack of thinking.

    Carry granades.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:40 No.13104695
    So it would be like that episode of Son of the Beach where they go to Japan and everyone speaks badly dubbed.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:41 No.13104696
    I fight crime with my new super power! I can fire ants out of my dick!
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:41 No.13104701
    I lol'd

    I have the power to make people laugh at all of my jokes. Even the racist ones.

    Especially the racist ones.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:42 No.13104706
    The contents of any canned good I touch change into lukewarm beef stroganoff.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:42 No.13104710
    What happens if you touch a can of beef stroganoff?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:42 No.13104713
    I can only understand math on a base 7 system, but I am a human calculator. I am average in all other respects.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:43 No.13104720
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    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:43 No.13104721
    I photosynthesize.

    It kinda sucks as I can't eat as much, but whatever.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:44 No.13104722
    It would become lukewarm and he'll divide by zero.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:44 No.13104727
    It becomes lukewarm.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:45 No.13104731
    I hate the attention span of a goldfish!
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:46 No.13104736
    just have somone abel to reaad the language out loud, no need to understand the meaning.
    I can read spanish out loud and sound like a native, but not have a damn clue what i'm saying.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:46 No.13104737
    I have the power to masturbate furiously at the drop of a hat.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:47 No.13104743
    Are those doritos?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:47 No.13104747
    I'm incapable of feeling surprise.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:47 No.13104751
    I have the power to travel through time, but I am only capable of doing it while drunk.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:47 No.13104752
    "Whoops, dropped my hat"
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:48 No.13104755
    does that mean you are incapable of suffering emotional or mental trauma or scarring?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:48 No.13104762
    Does this apply to Dull Surprise too because that would make you effectively emotionless?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:48 No.13104763
    Do you also do DRUNK SCIENCE?!

    >> Sebastian 12/10/10(Fri)19:48 No.13104764
    I have the power to inflict people with terminal, long term deceases. It does nothing in my favor, but it makes my enemies lives a heck of a lot worse. just imagine a mutant just infecting you with cancer for no apparent reason.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:49 No.13104766
    *fap fap fap fa-*
    Done! Before the hat touched the ground!
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:49 No.13104767
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    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:51 No.13104777
    I can make any normal character sound like a Mary Sue without changing any of their actual information.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:51 No.13104779
    I have the power to vomit up my own intestines.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:52 No.13104792
    Thanks to you, Gandalf is now ruined FOREVER.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:53 No.13104805
    I am photosynthetic. And conspicuously green.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:54 No.13104807
    Everything I say is ironic.

    All my friends are hipsters.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:55 No.13104815
    I can win every argument.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:56 No.13104821
    I have the power to turn my blood into acid, but only if I'm not bleeding at the time. The instant any of my blood leaves my body, the power stops working.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:56 No.13104828
    I can tell the chemical makeup of any object by licking it.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:56 No.13104829
    I can somersault significantly faster than any other human being.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:58 No.13104842
    Congratulations. You and all of your descendants shall be known as Vampire Bane forevermore.
    The vampires just call you 'cat piss'.
    >> teka 12/10/10(Fri)19:58 No.13104845
    No you can't!
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:59 No.13104856
    You're just trying to contradict me, that's really immature.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)19:59 No.13104860
    I have limited power of levitation, but can only trigger it by jumping and can only sustain it for a nanosecond.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:00 No.13104868
    Any time someone leaves their name field blank, I'm capable of figuring out their full name and favorite color.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:01 No.13104877
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:03 No.13104894
    I'm capable of making everyone lose a specific game.
    >> teka 12/10/10(Fri)20:04 No.13104898
    No I'm n.. ah, dang it.

    I'll get you next time Argument Man, Next Tiiiiiiiiime...
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:04 No.13104902
    I can cure myself of any fatal disease, but only once. I then have a fatal heart attack which I cannot be revived from.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:04 No.13104907
    I have the power to know why kids like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, why they call them Apple Jacks when they don't taste like apples, and how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:04 No.13104910
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:05 No.13104914
    My semen is ants
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:05 No.13104915
    I create any playing card I wish out of thin air, but it's always of a different brand than the deck I'm playing with.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:06 No.13104920
    It's fucking delicious, marketing, 317.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:11 No.13104924
    I always get singles.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:11 No.13104930
    Thank you for demonstrating why it's kind of a shitty power.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:12 No.13104931
    I am jubilee
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:13 No.13104946
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    I am as fast and as agile as three men.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:13 No.13104949
    I have the power to wiggle my testicles independently of each other.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:14 No.13104956
    I'm so sorry.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:16 No.13104962
    I can manipulate flowers
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:17 No.13104964
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    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:17 No.13104973
    im incredibly creative but noone likes my ideas :\ also i can be really funny sometimes XD
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:17 No.13104974
    I can tell when a woman is faking it.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:17 No.13104976
    I can become invisible when touching my dick but I'll go blind too while doing it.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:20 No.13104991
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    Ability to fly, but only when looking for hotdogs.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:20 No.13104993
    Given enough time, I'm capable of doing anything.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:21 No.13104997
    My skin and flesh are extraordinarily soft and supple. I am really ugly.
    >> Gabu !!/x5aTNcLqXe 12/10/10(Fri)20:23 No.13105009
    I have the power of common sense. That's it.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:27 No.13105034
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:29 No.13105045
    I can sleep for 16-18 hours everyday, during which I have incredibly lucid dreams and am able to cognate like normal people while they are awake. I'm not able to remember much while I'm awake, but I get all of the nutrients I need to survive just by being awake.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:29 No.13105051
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:30 No.13105056
    I have the power to impregnate women only when neither of us wants or can afford a kid, and I render it impossible for her to miscarry (either intentionally or unintentionally) that one child.

    This also happens even if it should be impossible due to contraception, tissue damage, sterilization, wrong time of the month, or any other thing that would normally prevent pregnancy.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:30 No.13105062
    i have the power to control other people's bladders
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:33 No.13105077
    see: >>13104204
    >> Green-ranger !!TmS5pQnYWpa 12/10/10(Fri)20:34 No.13105085
    I can make people mildly angry by exercising.
    >> No Man 12/10/10(Fri)20:34 No.13105088
    I can successfully finish any video game in one week, usually with minimum failures (lost lives, game overs, etc.)
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:35 No.13105097
    I'm a sentient being in a universe of inanimate objects.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:37 No.13105111
    How do you finish an MMO?
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:39 No.13105131

    You die
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:47 No.13105179
    I can pull off flawless backflips as it were nothing. But only when I least intend to do so.

    I can't do it on demand, but say I was walking down the road when suddenly... backflip.

    Then I just keep walking like nothing happened.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)20:53 No.13105222
    Wouldn't work, it's still a miscarriage.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)21:00 No.13105291
    I can sing Queen's Princes of the Universe verbatim, including the overlaid chorus. Thats it.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)21:11 No.13105365
    I can turn gold into lead, but only a couple of grams a day.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)21:30 No.13105503
    The power to make things explode with the power of a missile by touching it with the tip of my left index finger, however I am not immune to the effects of the explosion.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)21:34 No.13105546
    The power to be able to learn any skill I see such as brain surgery or martial arts but only be 10% as skilled as the original person I copied it from. I can only copy a skill from one person so I can't simply copy a more skilled person to get slightly better.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)21:38 No.13105577
    being able to play any black metal song on a harmonica on demand.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)21:45 No.13105648
    I know EXACTLY how much milk is left in the jug.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)22:35 No.13106064
    I have the ability to always be able to grab the exact amount of change from my coin purse for any purchase on my first try, no concious thought necessary.
    >> Anonymous 12/10/10(Fri)22:54 No.13106298
    I have the power to raise dead topics.
    >> Anonymous 12/11/10(Sat)00:13 No.13106962
    I have the power send threads to death.

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