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  • File : 1262599580.jpg-(21 KB, 464x464, winry2.jpg)
    21 KB Girlfriend Quest! 01/04/10(Mon)05:06 No.7420335  
    You are the girlfriend of a famous hero, known throughout the land. His exploits are known in every city and town. Songs to his glory occasionally become hits, and while both of you find it embarassing, the fame does help you get discounts and free shit from merchants.

    The problem is.. you hardly ever see the guy. always on a mission or quest to save the land or something similar. Once, you were getting hot and heavy with him after not seeing him for six months and he gets the call and just leaves you there.

    Frustrated masturbation follows.

    You've been dating for five years. You've just turned 26 and the relatives are starting to pester you for a wedding date. You still love him, but this lifestyle is ridiculous. He's got to settle down and accept his responsibilities as a husband and father at all costs!

    /tg/, you are now the (not so little) girl.

    Your mission: GET MARRIED!

    pic related: you kinda look like this.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:07 No.7420344
    Holy fuck, I'm Samus!

    (Search your heart, you know it to be true.)
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:07 No.7420347
    I get back in the kitchen and make him a sammich.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:08 No.7420349
    YOUR MISSION: Become a villainess so powerful it requires the villain to defeat you. At the end to avert your world-ending catastrophe... HE HAS TO MARRY YOU.
    This plan CANNOT FAIL.
    >> dice2 01/04/10(Mon)05:08 No.7420352
    I tug my BRAID and smooth my SKIRT
    >> Lace 01/04/10(Mon)05:08 No.7420357
    That's Winry Rockbell, actually...

    So pretty much.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:10 No.7420374
    we realy need to make sure hes not getting his rocks off with random wenches on his travels.
    id say that was first priority.
    do we know spells ourselves? could we cast a chastity seal on his penis? with his agreement of course.
    >> Lace 01/04/10(Mon)05:10 No.7420375
    Wait, I'm 26 and I look like that?

    Dayumn, what am I, an Elf?
    >> Girlfriend Quest! 01/04/10(Mon)05:10 No.7420376
    You are at home in the Living Room. Doors lead to the Outside, your Bedroom, the Kitchen and the Basement.

    Your hero boyfriend is coming for a visit in 5 turns.

    You have: 1 Apron, 1 Hair Clip, 1 bunny slippers

    What do you do?
    >> dice2 01/04/10(Mon)05:10 No.7420379
    We're an anime character

    so kinda the same thing
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:11 No.7420384
    more like, becomes a villouness so powerful the only man in the land who can defeat us is, our man.
    we then form a pact, and rule over both sides of light and dark, the world is at peace for our lifetimes!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:11 No.7420385
         File1262599906.jpg-(139 KB, 550x822, 1260481973289.jpg)
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    is what i do
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:11 No.7420387
    Get into genetic engineering.
    "marriage" and "sex" are outdated and inefficient concepts. You can simply create your own children, stronger and more intelligent than everything the world has ever seen! The world shall tremble at the very mention of the hive-Spawn of Queen Winry!
    >> dice2 01/04/10(Mon)05:12 No.7420391
    We're wearing nothing but an apron and bunny slippers?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:12 No.7420392
    This... this actually has the potential to be a REALLY COOL QUEST.

    I read the title line and thought you were trolling, but it looks like you've actually put some thought into this.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:12 No.7420400
    >> Girlfriend Quest! 01/04/10(Mon)05:12 No.7420402

    You are in the kitchen, you see many KNIVES.
    There is BREAD. There is MEAT. there is LETTUCE. There is VEGETABLES.
    The stove is cold. You rarely cook since you live alone and prefer to eat out.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:14 No.7420420
    Make sammich, a real good sammich.
    >> LDT-A 01/04/10(Mon)05:14 No.7420421
         File1262600057.jpg-(94 KB, 555x740, 1245139199175.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:14 No.7420422
    Best plan ever
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:14 No.7420430
    I put the MEAT inside the BREAD.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! 01/04/10(Mon)05:15 No.7420431

    You are wearing bunny slippers and an apron. Maybe he'll pay more attention to you this way.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:15 No.7420433
    >> Lace 01/04/10(Mon)05:15 No.7420434
    I thought the same thing.

    If only I wasn't too dog tired and insomniatic to participate properly.

    BUT! Go adventuring with our collective husband. If he won't come to us, we'll come to him. If he objects to having his wife tag along, well, we're in the KITCHEN and there are many sharp KNIVES.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:16 No.7420439
    Let the meat rot and put it outside to attract insects. Catch the insects and bring them to the laboratory for experimentation.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:16 No.7420441
    Especially because I'm kind of skeptical of this quest. 'oooo you're a girl now get in the kitchen.'

    May be better than it lets on.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! 01/04/10(Mon)05:16 No.7420443

    You have prepared a MEATBREAD. You are still in the kitchen. You are wearing bunny slippers and an APRON.

    Boyfriend will arrive in 4 turns.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:16 No.7420445
    >Holy fuck, I'm Agrias!
    >Holy fuck, I'm Saber!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:16 No.7420446
    >pic related: you kinda look like this.

    I'm finally hot.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:17 No.7420448
    MASTURBATE FURIOUSLY with the elongated shape of one of the VEGETABLES. Then slice it up and make a lunch with some fried MEAT and since you're CARB CONSCIOUS, wrap it in LETTUCE. Bring the bread anyway to share. LET'S GO OUTSIDE
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:17 No.7420454
    We should TAKE INVENTORY to determine available ASSETS. (Not referring to our body.) We should also review our FRIENDS and CONTACTS so that we know who might be helpful in preparing for our boyfriend's arrival.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:17 No.7420457
    Take SAMMICH to living room. Remove APRON. Wait for boyfriend.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:18 No.7420464
         File1262600295.jpg-(484 KB, 1440x900, 1259401732785.jpg)
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    needs to become this, how do we get there
    >> Girlfriend Quest! 01/04/10(Mon)05:18 No.7420467

    You have decided that the ONLY way you can get his attention is to involve yourself in his professional life. As the enemy.

    You are now convinced that only by threatening to destroy the world will he pay attention to you.

    You are now thinking of threatening him with the KnIFE in the KITCHEN, or perhaps down to the basement and take a look through the various forbidden magic items he has "seized" from various evil villains.

    Boyfriend will arrive in 4 turns.
    >> dice2 01/04/10(Mon)05:20 No.7420484
    Go down to the BASEMENT and search FORBIDDEN MAGIC TOMES
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:21 No.7420490
    >take a look through the various forbidden magic items he has "seized" from various evil villains
    That sounds promising, but how will we determine which ones are relatively safe to use? We must find a FRIEND who can give us RELIABLE COUNSEL regarding EVIL ARTIFACTS. Do we have any SORORITY SISTERS from our college days, now in dark-magic-related fields, who we might call up and ask for help?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:21 No.7420491
    We need a DISGUISE so he won't know it is us until the RIGHT TIME (ie wedding night)
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:22 No.7420504
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:23 No.7420511
         File1262600582.jpg-(113 KB, 360x288, 1262072080666.jpg)
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    he will never see it coming
    >> Girlfriend Quest! 01/04/10(Mon)05:23 No.7420513

    With a silent gasp (he loves it when you bite the pillows and it's become a habit) you shiver on the couch, your body consumed by pleasure as you climax to the vegetables.

    Boyfriend will arrive in 4 Turns.

    You assemble your tainted sammich, and walk out the door. You are outside the house your boyfriend bought you with the reward money for succeeding in his quest. It is rather spacious with a well-decorated lawn. You like doing some gardening as it passes the time spent alone. Past the fence, a long path leads to the road to the nearby town.

    Boyfriend will arrive in 3 turns. You can see a lone figure walking towards the house. You suppose it's him by the way he's walking.

    you have Bunny slippers, apron, tainted sammich and hair clip.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:23 No.7420515
    I suggest we get ourselves a serf and use it as a guinea pig. Remember: it's not murder if it's a serf.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:23 No.7420516
    >remove apron
    but... but... but... but...
    Hadaka Apuron....

    also, evil tomes sounds 'promising'
    >> dice2 01/04/10(Mon)05:24 No.7420525
    We don't have time for anything like that. We need to either confront him now or get down to the basement and start messing with things
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:24 No.7420526
         File1262600696.jpg-(13 KB, 180x222, 180px-Mk-zetta-tome.jpg)
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    you rang?
    >> Girlfriend Quest! 01/04/10(Mon)05:25 No.7420528

    You are sitting nude on your couch. You still wear your hair clip. The sammich is nicely put on an expensive bone china plate on the coffee table.

    Boyfriend will arrive in3 turns.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! 01/04/10(Mon)05:25 No.7420535
         File1262600746.jpg-(473 KB, 1018x1450, pooltaur.jpg)
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    Due to an accident with the FORBIDDEN MAGIC TOMES you are transformed.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:26 No.7420541
         File1262600779.jpg-(57 KB, 450x337, 1259972914597.jpg)
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    summon this fucker
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:26 No.7420543
    why must you destroy everything pure?
    >> Girlfriend Quest! 01/04/10(Mon)05:26 No.7420544

    Your friend Sarah from school did go join a coven, she would be somewhere in the nearby TOWN.

    Boyfriend will arrive in 2 turns.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:26 No.7420545
    This is why questfags should at least use a tripcode.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! 01/04/10(Mon)05:27 No.7420549

    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:27 No.7420552
    Get PUSSY warmed up, so the boyfriend doesn't need to do much.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)05:28 No.7420559
    Fine, here's a tripcode. can someone else take the " i go to the basement for evil magic books" line please?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:28 No.7420564
    Excellent. There's no time to call SARAH now, since our boyfriend is so close, but if we can't convince him to marry us during this visit she'll be our first move afterward.

    For now, don some SEXY CLOTHES.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:29 No.7420574
    HA - DA - KA A - Pu - RO- N
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:29 No.7420576
    Nope, you're stuck with it.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)05:30 No.7420577

    You'd have to go upstairs for the sexy clothes.
    You get your slinky red silk negligee, which you think contrasts well with your hair and eyes. Your skin's a little pale from being indoors so much, but you hope he wouldn't mind.

    Boyfriend will arrive next turn.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)05:33 No.7420596

    Boyfriend will arrive in 4 turns.

    It's really, really dark in here. Lots of strange wands, rings in a drawer. Stuffed monster heads are mounted on the walls, since you hate looking at them you told him he can't place those things in the living room.

    You see this book
    tied up with string.

    You see something called a "wish scroll"

    You see a little red pixie thing in a bottle. It is awake and watching you quietly.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:34 No.7420604
    Run around house double-checking that nothing is terribly out of place prior to his arrival, then stand at window waiting for him to walk up.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)05:34 No.7420605

    roll 1d6. odd number means you get your pussy wet and eager for his touch.

    even number means you blew it and you came prematurely.

    boyfriend arrives in 2 turns.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:35 No.7420609
         File1262601309.jpg-(28 KB, 200x323, koizumicrunch[1].jpg)
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    Let us search the forbidden Mahjong tomes first.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:35 No.7420610
    theres been a slight time shift here.
    do i sense time magic sitrring deep within me i have yet to uncover?
    search for the section in the book under the heading "time"
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:36 No.7420622
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)05:36 No.7420625

    you find nothing. 2 turns. you're still in the basement.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:36 No.7420630
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:38 No.7420636

    And you come prematurely, twice. Way to go.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:38 No.7420640
    Well fuck
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)05:39 No.7420644

    You blew it! You came hard, your fingers not able to stop themselves as you plunge deeper into yourself going faster and faster until you jerk and shiver in delicious climax.

    As the sensation dies down, you find the living room smells of your own perverted lust. You hope that you didn't squirt on the sammich you made on the coffee table. Your legs are spread open and your inner thighs and fingers are still moist with your lustjuices.

    You hear a knock on the door.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:39 No.7420648

    don't blame him, it's his first time as a girl.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:40 No.7420654
    Open the door without changing anything.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:41 No.7420658

    roll 1d6

    odd is good
    even is bad
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:42 No.7420663
    have we forgotten about becoming evil in preferance to masturbation?
    get a grip woman!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:42 No.7420664
    Fuck off you're not the GM
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)05:43 No.7420666

    roll 1d6, nigger.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:44 No.7420675
    rolled 1 = 1

    No, YOU roll 1d6!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:45 No.7420679
    Nice try satan I'm not rolling
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:46 No.7420686
         File1262601977.jpg-(86 KB, 400x484, Eva_Braun[1].jpg)
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    We should talk. We have so much in common.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:50 No.7420711
    rolled here >>7420675
    hurry up man
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)05:50 No.7420715

    Anon really sucks at the dice.

    In your eagerness to meet your boyfriend again, you've forgotten one important thing: he has a lot of enemies.

    When you open the door, what you is not your boyfriend, but instead a 6'4 tall, heavily muscled, sweaty, red haired, one-eyed Viking.

    "And now both of you will pay for defeating my invasion!" he roared, grabbing you by the neck and pushing you inside the house. Slamming and bolting the door, with one hand and choking you with the other, he pushes you against the wall.

    "I'm going to make him pay.. but first ... you have a purty mouth," he leers.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:51 No.7420720
    Take HAIRPIN stab (the healthy)EYE
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:51 No.7420724
    >> LDT-A 01/04/10(Mon)05:53 No.7420736
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)05:54 No.7420744

    the big viking roars back, and releases you, not so much in pain as surprise.

    You've bought a few precious seconds.

    You consider running away to the kitchen to arm yourself, but you hear knocking on the front door. It has to be your boyfriend!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:54 No.7420745
    rolled 13 = 13


    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:54 No.7420749
    No, YOU forgot he has a lot of enemies! If you don't tell us, we can't hold it into account.
    This would've never happened if you guys would have just followed my perfect plan of creating our own sun which is a swarm of insects with a single hivemind. But nooooooo! You had to go schlick, didn't you?
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)05:55 No.7420754

    You don't see anything about "time"
    the pixie thing in the bottle is asking you what do you want?

    2 turns before boyfriend arrives.
    >> dice2 01/04/10(Mon)05:56 No.7420760
    open bottle
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)05:56 No.7420763

    You kick your opponent in the balls. He cries out in a high pitched whine and falls to the floor, foaming at the mouth and incapacitated.

    You can kill him now or let the boyfriend do it.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:57 No.7420765
    definetly a time shift going on here.
    ask the pixie if she knows of ways to kill one eyes vikings. as you have a feeling you will be having a run in with one rather soon.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:57 No.7420767

    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:57 No.7420772
    Theres a viking and he's really into pixies if you shrink him down I can promiss you he will show you a good time.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:57 No.7420774
    Kill-kill the man-thing!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:58 No.7420778
    take KNIFE walk around VIKINGFAG and stab him whenever you get to his back
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)05:58 No.7420779

    The pixie thing flies out and laughs "free at last, free at last thank god almighty free at last!"

    It's looking at you.. asks "why?"
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:58 No.7420783
    i forgot to ask the VIKINGFAG is blind now right?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:59 No.7420784
    >bofriend walks in
    >i am naked
    >room stinks of female juices
    >grappling with a burly viking
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)05:59 No.7420791
    I need whatever power you can grant me in order to become an evil power so that I can seduce my adventuring boyfriend and get him into a quiet household life.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)06:00 No.7420796

    You have slain the viking thing. At least he doesn't seem to be breathing. With a small smile of satisfaction you go to the door and unlock it.

    Your boyfriend has a bunch of flowers for you, but he dropped it in shock at seeing the dead guy in the room, your own state of undress .. and the faint smell of female cum in the living room.

    For once, he is at a loss for words.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:01 No.7420806
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    Pic related.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:02 No.7420809
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:02 No.7420810
    Wait a minute! I've got a brilliant idea! Whyy not rearrange him so he looks like our boyfriend, and cut off his arms and legs so he can't escape! He'll be with us for ever and ever and ever and it'll be so fun!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:03 No.7420818
    tell him you were getting a surprise ready for him and the viking came in and attempted to rape you, so you killed him. Make sure to sob and tell him how scary it was.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:03 No.7420820

    "I was getting ready for you, but this guy came in and tried to kill me. So I killed him. Or at least, I think he's dead. So how are you, honey?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:03 No.7420823
    imbue guilth in him by saying "your enemies are after me, you should settle down and keep me safe" or something as annoying that woman can say to get her way
    >> LDT-A 01/04/10(Mon)06:04 No.7420831
    And that the faerie was set free in the ensuing struggle.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:05 No.7420837
    remember youre a woman, thats a man replique
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)06:06 No.7420850

    Your boyfriend stammers "I.. I'm sorry.. I should have come earlier. But I'm still in the middle of a quest and It's hard to take a few days off, you know.. how it was.."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:08 No.7420863
    hug boyfriend
    tell him he should stay home more often to stop things like this from happening.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)06:10 No.7420874
    Flood control's getting me guys


    no, that's another path. In this one, you never went down there.


    Boyfriend doesn't look too happy. Arms folded, he looks at you and says "All right. Explain."

    You just realize that the dead viking was built more manly than your boyfriend. Perhaps he sounded a little jealous?


    The fairy thing looks at you as if you were some dumb bimbo. "Ok.. I understand power.. I don't understand this quiet married life thing. But that's fine.. Why not be a Lich? I used to serve one so I know a lot about Liches and anything they're MADE of power."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:10 No.7420878

    Get up close to him, say "You know, dear, I was soooo scared when this guy came for me. If I hadn't kicked him in the crotch, poked out his eyes and stabbed him to death I wouldn't know what I would've done! I don't feel safe here any more. We don't spend enough time together. Take me questing with you."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:10 No.7420879
    "One day, I'll be attacked and you won't be 5 minutes down the road to save me. One day, you'll come home and everything will be on fire and I'll be dead and mutilated. You're making powerful enemies and those enemies will come after me too. It's time that you stop thinking only about how fun adventuring is and to start thinking of what you need to do for the people who care about you. Being a hero is more than killing the bad guys and looting their stuff, it's about doing what's right and taking care of what's important.

    Am I important to you?"

    That last line is the real clincher.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:11 No.7420889
    Lich? Like a zombie? Uh, no, I need to have all my squishy bits so that we can still have sex after he beats me and all that jazz.

    Can you teach me enough magic so that I can make a threat of myself?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:13 No.7420897

    Wow. Are you a real woman?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:13 No.7420899
    Ask him what quest he was on.
    Also, suggest that, as he's not getting any younger, it might be time for him to stay here and train the next generation of heroes. Otherwise, the world might be short if he does die. And there aren't too many around in the first place.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:13 No.7420902

    Become Red Dragon of the shapeshifting variety(preferably not in front of boyfriend)
    >> LDT-A 01/04/10(Mon)06:13 No.7420903
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:16 No.7420918
    No. I've just watched a lot of shitty anime and browse /r9k/ alot.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:16 No.7420920

    Man that is NOT fair, NOT fair at ALL.

    Saved for when I need to screw over a PC though.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:16 No.7420923
    you would make a good woman.
    its stuff like this that really gets e going, guilt tripping me into stuff, god its so hot.
    every other guy complains though, guess im lucky to like this.
    we have 2 paths? confusing.
    whats the plan /tg/? i have no idea what to do with this situation.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:17 No.7420930
    That post it dripping with estrogens
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:17 No.7420932
    Wow what a shitty quest.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:18 No.7420938

    The pixie shrugs.. "I've never had to teach anyone magic before actually.. My job was to collect material components.. sometimes the Master would let me read some of the books he's memorized but that's it."


    The pixie thing laughs.. "No that's not really possible. You're a human. You can't become a dragon.. unless you want to make a Wish.."

    As you look on in puzzlement, the pixie points its finger at the scroll marked "WISH scroll"

    With a faint buzzing it makes its way up the basement, you hear it making its escape through the chimney.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:18 No.7420944
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:19 No.7420949
    Well, you collected components, can you tell me the good spots for finding powerful stuff then? That'll be a good start, knowing where to find things.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)06:19 No.7420952
    > we have 2 paths? confusing.

    yeah, one path has you going into the basement looking for power to become EVIL WITCH

    the other one had you making a sammich and nearly getting rapekilled.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:20 No.7420955
    haha! wish scroll wish scroll!
    i wish i may, i wish i might, become a sulty world conquering time mage tonight!
    fuck becoming a dragon, what is this? fursona fantasy fulfilment quest?
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)06:21 No.7420964

    The pixie giggles, a disturbing sound indeed.

    Then you hear a knock on the door.

    "Shit. hide me. Meet me in here at midnight when he's gone," the pixie says, looking a little worried now.
    "AND I AM NOT GOING IN THERE AGAIN! " it shrieks at you, flying away from the bottle.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:21 No.7420966
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    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:22 No.7420974
    ask it to hide between your clevage
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:23 No.7420980
    I was tempted to hide it between my breasts, but she would probably be quickly discovered.

    Toss the apron on top of her and pose seductively.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)06:25 No.7420992

    You now have PIXIE hiding under your apron, quietly nudging between your breasts.

    You hear knocking at the door.


    As you pick up the WISH scroll, you hear knocking at the door.

    You're curious about this scroll , wondering whether to read it now or entertain the boyfriend first. No idea how long he'll stay THIS time, though.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)06:27 No.7421003

    oh god, this is so ggod. I'll come back to this later.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:28 No.7421013
    Read scroll later, tell pixe to keep head down answer door
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:28 No.7421015
    wish scroll goes in our shoe.
    when boyfriend comes in tell him you just want to snuggle tonight, no taking off of clothes, just chilling cuddles.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:30 No.7421027

    It's best if you keep 1 path to a thread from now on. Name it Girlfriend Quest A path and Girlfriend Quest B path or something. Otherwise it gets confusing.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:33 No.7421045
    Is the pixie male or female? This is important.

    Do our best to dissuade him from removing apron. Welcome him in, give him sammich, have him sit down and ask him about his adventures. If he get's "all riled up" just get on your knees and do what women were made to do.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)06:34 No.7421056

    You tell the pixie to hide in the basement. Hopefully he doesn't notice it out of the bottle. You take the WISH scroll and hide it under your bunny slippers.

    You climb out the basement, close the door behind you and answer the door.

    No mad viking, that's the other path.

    You see your boyfriend, a little battered and muddy but very , very happy to see you. He hands you a bunch of FLOWERS and opens his arms wide to hug you.

    You notice that the FLOWERS look like the ones that grow beside the road to town.

    You hug him, he needs a bath. He tells you he misses you so much he is taking a break from his quest to defeat the Vampire Lord that's been terrorizing the villagers to the East of your country. he just wanted to see you once more.

    You let him in. He tiredly flops on the couch. He empties his backpack and places a bag of 50 gold coins on the table. "Orc loot" he says.."Or in our case, food and clothes for both of us for the entire year".

    Oh, and the King wants you to have this, he says, handing you a diamond-encrusted Tiara. "It's for the ffeast in two months, hopefully I defeat the Vampire Lord by then. You'll be so beautiful in the King's court, wearing that white dress and that Tiara!, All the ladies will be jealous!"
    >> Girlfriend Quest! (route to evil path) !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)06:36 No.7421067

    ok, from this point on, this thread assumes you went into the basement. There'll be another thread for the sandwich path or if someone wants to GM that, please feel free)
    >> Girlfriend Quest! (route to evil path) !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)06:38 No.7421079

    it's a androgynous thing. It's red, naked, looks like a faggot elf with wings. You see no breasts or penis, not that you're inclined to look closely. It's in your cleavage anyway.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:39 No.7421082
    Having an adventurer husband has its perks doesn't it.

    I'm the one going for the evil-girlfriend bit. As soon as he takes a nap, take the money, tiara and pixie and whatever adventuring equipment we can steal in that window of time. Follow the pixie's directions to good item locations. We can load up on stuff and use it as bartering to apprentice ourselves to a wizard.

    Learn a few good spells and lets impress some barbarians into our service.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:41 No.7421094

    Ensure that breasts bounce and roll around while moving, but don't smush it. See if we can arouse it. Then continue with >>7421082
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:43 No.7421106
    Can I ask it out of curiousity?
    >> Girlfriend Quest! (route to evil path) !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)06:50 No.7421153
    The time is 11.30 pm.

    Your boyfriend is asleep. You have a foul taste in your mouth. It's obvious he's been eating wild game.

    You are dressed in your nightgown. You are carrying a candle. There's a wish scroll hidden in your bunny slippers. You also have your boyfriend's backpack. Since you suffer a -4 STR penalty, you've decided to carry along the following items:

    50 gold coins
    Boyfriend's spare leather armor/vest. A little too big for you.

    The pixie tells you it was born from a flower and has no concept of gender. However it likes nestling between your breasts (nice and warm). It agrees to show you where it usually forages for spell ingredients in exchange for letting it free after a week. Its name is Tir.

    It asks you, "why do you seek power, miss?"
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:52 No.7421169
    Tell it the truth your man won't commit to a marrige so your doing what anny woman would do use power to force him.

    Also ask it if it would like to be our aid.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:53 No.7421173
    I imagine the a devil on the right shoulder narrating the events of EVUL SUPERVILLAIN path , meanwhile the angel on the left pursues a more level headed scenario o f passive aggression and
    We are one FUCKED up broad
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:54 No.7421179
    "Well, at first I had this crazy plan to become some kind of evil wizard to trick my boyfriend into giving up adventuring and settling down, but now that I'm stealing and sneaking out, this whole "bad" thing is a lot of fun!

    I wanna get powerful so I can do more bad things and have fun while doing them."

    Take the shit and sneak out of the house. Leave some kind of note saying you've been kidnapped by some horrible monster from beyond the dimensions for a nefarious purpose.

    Save that wish scroll for a moment when we really fucking need it.

    Head out to the nearest grocers to stock up on provisions, then follow pixie's directions.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:57 No.7421194
    I ask the pixie about "liches" since it was talking abotu them earlier. They seem powerful and I want in on this exclusive club.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)06:59 No.7421218
    Me here. If you want more psuedo-girl goodness, you'll have to wait for later today. It's 7 AM and time for me to go to bed.

    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)07:01 No.7421234


    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)07:02 No.7421240

    it's not worth 10,000 gp.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)07:02 No.7421245

    Enchant it.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)07:04 No.7421255
    being a lich is no good unless we get to stay squishy.
    ask if we get to stay squishy.
    ask if the pixie knows of any tailors that wouldnt raise any eyebrows if we asked for a mage/dominatrix/sulty dress combo?
    we cant become all powerful in a nightie. well, we could but...
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)07:05 No.7421266
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    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)07:05 No.7421268


    >> Girlfriend Quest! (route to evil path) !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)07:11 No.7421300

    The time is 1 am. You are out in the woods. You are dressed in your boyfriend's padded leather vest, which goes down to mid-thigh for you.

    You have a scroll marked WISH carefully hidden in your travelling boots. You have an adventurer's backpack containign 50 gold pieces and a diamond tiara. You have a knife with you for self defense.

    The pixie from the basement looks at you quizzically. As it doesn't have a gender, you notice that it doesn't really get your talk of marriage and abandonment.

    However it does seem to understand your desire for power for its own sake. It says humans tend to want this power thing a lot, not that it cares why humans would want such things. Perhaps it's like eating? it asks you.

    It notices your growing excitement as it takes you through the woods, gathering various flowers and roots required for spell components.

    "I still can't teach you magic, I've never taught anyone before," it says as you fill your pack with a handful of magic mushrooms.

    "Now, I don't really know what's this "bad" thing you were talking about, either, it says. Is it an enjoyable thing? My master sometimes says he's been bad and then he just laughs and laughs non stop for an hour or so then he goes off to study."

    "My previous master? He said he was a lich. He said he existed for the purpose of gaining power and knowledge and solving the mysteries of the universe. He used to live in this old underground dungeon complex ... he hated going out so he had me go get things for him. I don't know what else he does. But usually some ... things visit him late at night and they talk about things I don't care about then they're out again by dawn and usually he tells me to get things then."

    Then that man came along and he bashed my master's head in with a hammer. Didn't say or do anything else but stuff me in that bottle.. and then you found me.

    IT's good to be free.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! (route to evil path) !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)07:14 No.7421314

    "Uh, no.. Master was a little.. thin.. not soft like you.. all dusty and musty .. rough to the touch.."

    it brightens up a bit

    "but Master always gives me this chocolate three times a day! It's very tasty! Do you like chocolate too , man? "
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)07:35 No.7421461
    i am no man. i am a woman, through and through, voluptuous and smooth.
    lets go seduce a man and kill him in his bed so we have a nice place to sleep before we use this town for goods and move on.
    >> Girlfriend Quest! (route to evil path) !Pi/g1F.geE 01/04/10(Mon)07:35 No.7421462
    Going to sleep. someone else take over or whatever
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)07:38 No.7421484
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    I become sandwich. He cannot resist my charms anymore so he hangs about.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)09:52 No.7422581

    You walk around a while, guided by the pixie, and after an couple of hours, you arrive in a clearing in the woods. There is a small wooden cottage here. There are lights in the window. The crest of the King's Forest Rangers is nailed on the door.

    Your heart starts to pound in your ample chest. You've .. never actually done anything .. BAD before.

    Do you still want to seduce the ranger and kill him or ask him to let you sleep there unharmed?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)09:55 No.7422610
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    Why are you doing this, tg?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)09:58 No.7422629
    We must amplify our seduction powers to attract our future mate. This weakling will be ample practice.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)09:58 No.7422630
    Seduce and kill! Rip and tear!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)09:58 No.7422631
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    >He's got to settle down and accept his responsibilities as a husband and father at all costs!

    You are a bad girlfriend.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)09:59 No.7422635

    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:00 No.7422644
    Is the cottage suddenly at the sea? Is this some woman girlfriend power?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:02 No.7422660

    It's a reference to oglaf.com
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:02 No.7422661
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:03 No.7422669

    > You are a bad girlfriend.

    About to cross over into Lawful Evil girlfriend actually
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:21 No.7422813
    Seduce the fiend
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)10:21 No.7422814

    Driven by your new desire to acquire power, more and more POWER, so that you can finally get that useless lump of a boyfriend to pay attention to you, you knock on the door.

    the Ranger opens the door and sees you shivering pathetically in the night air. You've hidden a knife under your shirt, which just happens to be .. ripped.. at the right places.

    Your fairy companion is hiding above the doorway, out of sight. You make your most desperate and sad face "Please sir," you say, "I'm lost, I can't find my friends, and.. I'm scared.. please sir, will you let me stay with you?"

    The ranger, a big, hairy man dressed in his pajamas, one hand , you now notice, gripping a big, heavy axe just behind the door. He smells of pinecones and sweat.

    He nods, "all right, come on in, little girl."

    He points to the rug near his fireplace and tells you to sleep there. He will stay awake and "keep watch".

    You lay down as instructed, facing away from him, curling into a seductive ball, letting him see the shape of your hips and your bare legs rubbing against each other as you try to 'keep warm'.

    You smile a little , feeling that your scheme is working.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:23 No.7422837
    Rip and tear!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:24 No.7422845
    Now we wait for the time to strike.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)10:25 No.7422859
    You hear his heavy footsteps.. then feel his heavy, meaty hands on your shoulder.

    "Oh, on second thought.. why not you come lie down somewhere a little more comfortable? " he asks. You see that familiar glint of lust in his eyes.

    You are a little unsure of this. Do you seduce him first or just kill him now?
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)10:28 No.7422880
    Now he's gently pushing you down on to his bed. It doesn't smell as nice as your boyfriend's bed you shared together in the good old days, but it's better than the floor. He lies next to you. His rough hand innocently brushing against your knee.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:29 No.7422898
    Rip and tear I tell you!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:29 No.7422902
    archive/update this shit every once inawhile
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:32 No.7422931
    Pretend to be a BBEG

    Fight the Hero

    Prove a Point

    Get Married

    Game Set Match
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)10:34 No.7422952

    Instead of seducing him like originally planned, the feel of his hand on your smooth skin fills you with disgust. Screaming "get off me you RAPIST!!!" you shriek, and get up into a sitting position, drawing the knife you have hidden underneath your shirt and stabbing him in the gut , deep and into the hilt.

    He just registers a look of shock and falls to the floor, twitching pathetically as his lifeblood ebbs away.

    You may have committed an evil deed... you were probably planning to kill him but you're not so sure now.

    The dying man is on the floor. There is an axe on the floor. Something is boiling in a pot on the fireplace.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:35 No.7422972
    Kill him now.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)10:36 No.7422980

    you just stabbed him
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:36 No.7422983
    Kill him dead! Make sure he can't tell it was us, then flee the scene!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:37 No.7422994
    Delayed post.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)10:38 No.7423006

    You pick up the axe.

    The man looks at you with a pleading look for mercy.

    You have none. It takes a few strikes but you have decapitated your potential rapist.

    Your fairy companion flies in through the window.

    "That's just like what Master's golem used to do to people who visit him uninvited, " it said, simply.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:39 No.7423025
    Call his family and cook him. After nice meal, they ask where your soon-to-be husband is and when the weddings are.
    "Well...since he is in your stomachs right now, the weddings are going to be quite difficult..."

    just as planned...
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:40 No.7423032
    Perhaps giving ourselves some bruises to make it look like an attempted rape could be in order, then look through the cottage.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)10:43 No.7423074

    beating yourself up with a stick .. hurts. but strangely it's not really a bad kind of hurt.

    You now are a little bruised.

    You see some money, the ranger's huge axe , almost too heavy for you to swing now that you've calmed down. He was boiling some roots, probably to drink later on.

    Your fairy companion looks at the pot, "oh i remember this, if you add the mushrooms and roots we took earlier you'll make a gelatinous cube".

    "what's that ?" you ask.

    "Something the master uses to .. clean up"
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)10:46 No.7423109
    There's nothing else of interest in the cottage.

    Do you make a gelatinous cube?
    Do you leave, having failed to increase your powers of seduction?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:46 No.7423113
    I guess put mushrooms in the pot, see if there's anything else of use aswell. Perhaps checking what time it is.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)10:50 No.7423144

    It's in the dark hours of the early morning. You've ran away from your boyfriend for a few hours now.

    You toss the mushrooms into the pot. Immediately it bubbles over, the broth turning thicker , more gelatinous, its volume increasing until it begins to boil over.

    Transfixed by this (you've never seen anything actually magical before), you watch, as the stuff pours itself out of the pot, and reshapes itself into a transparent gelatinous cube.

    "Come here" you say, and it moves ... slowly at first, shivering and shaking as it inches towards you, leaving a clear trail of slime on the floor.

    You now have 1 fairy and 1 gelatinous cube. You have committed an evil act in killing a man. Surprisingly you don't feel much different from before.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)10:54 No.7423181
    Make it clean the ripping and tearing we've done! See if there's anything else to do in the cottage or nearby.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)10:56 No.7423200

    You tell the gelatinous cube to eat the corpse.

    It rolls over the body and with startling efficiency dissolves him. You can even see the bubbling and fizzling as the body is dissolved.

    Other than the axe and money, you don't think there is anything interesting in here.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:00 No.7423238
    Take the money, clean off the knife. Lets burn this place, or leave it mysteriously abandoned. Maybe we can carve a mysterious message to our lover.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)11:01 No.7423251

    What message would you leave him?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:04 No.7423281
    "My heart has grown cold, your embrace no longer warms me. Alas, my only path is to warm it in spilled blood. Find yourself another lover to coddle you. As for me, I'll look for warmth."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:04 No.7423288
    Some cluttered ramblings involing references to marriage, perhaps. I personally, can't think of anything.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:13 No.7423381
    Hint at Fairy Tale rhymes as a red herring. Refer to the now dead man as the Huntsman from Little Red Riding Hood. Refer to yourself as Red and then to really get him confused, say you are going south only to head north.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:14 No.7423389
    ooh yes subtle hints!
    >> LDT-A 01/04/10(Mon)11:14 No.7423390
    Something that isn't this.

    Seriously, don't start raising the stakes until we have acquired some significant power.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:17 No.7423417
    I'm working against the possibility he just won't take us seriously. So I'm shooting for something ominous that will set him after us.
    >> Guardsman Terry 01/04/10(Mon)11:20 No.7423436
    Protip: Don't make a quest thread with a female character on /tg/.
    Half of the "quest" will revolve around masturbation and making out with other females.
    Normally I'm all for it but imagining the dirty neckbeards writing all this kind of kills it.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:21 No.7423456
    what are you gay
    >> LDT-A 01/04/10(Mon)11:22 No.7423464
    Thing is, once we become a powerful sorceress THEN we can track him down and set up a suitable evil plot in his path. Even if he has no idea what's up, theres a good chance he can cover ground faster than us, if we give him too much help he'll throw a spanner in our plans before we even become a dark and powerful sorceress.
    >> Guardsman Terry 01/04/10(Mon)11:23 No.7423471
    Please refer to
    >Normally I'm all for this
    >Dirty neckbeards

    Thank you.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:23 No.7423476
    so you're gay
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:32 No.7423581
    Fine then, leave no message - we simply will vanish into the night, leaving our bewildered man no message - or we can pretend we were kidnapped by some BBEG and send him off on some wild goose chase.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:36 No.7423601
    He IS an adventurer, he'd be all over the classic "Damsel in distress" quest.

    So: Pretend to be kidnapped by the vampire guy

    Kill vampire, take over his shit.

    Send minions to put up a convincing fight when his group show up (but dont kill any of them, he'll hate us then)

    "Look what I had to do to get you to pay attention to me!"

    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)11:38 No.7423623

    You've already left a fake note saying you were kidnapped by an evil wizard.

    You stand in the forest clearing, watching the ranger hut burn. It's kind of hard work, this arson thing. Maybe next time someone else should so the hard work of spreading flammables...

    You leave a meaningless red herring riddle, carved into a tree. Maybe it won't be your boyfriend who sees this, but you've carved his name in there as well. He'll get the message.

    You prepare to walk south, after saying that you're heading north to kill more. "for fun"

    You are taking your fairy companion and gelatinous cube. You've learned one spell, so it's a good first step on your quest for power. Youve committed your first evil deed too.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:38 No.7423631
    I say kill his friends - show him that we are at his level - that WE CANNOT BE IGNORED!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:39 No.7423642
    ok, let's find a city then. Sell the tiara, and with the money get an armour and a better weapon.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:40 No.7423655
    Maybe, but he'd still might hate us if we killed his best friend, perhaps we could just get them at our mercy, James Bond villain style, then we come out in the best evil dress we can find, and reveal that we're behind the whole thing.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)11:42 No.7423678
    You are now heading east towards the area where the Vampire Lord is rumored to be. You've been walking for a few days.

    You plan to gain power, defeat the vampire, and take over. Then you'll grow in power, and be as powerful as your boyfriend.

    You have:

    1 Knife
    1 fairy
    1 gelatinous cube
    1 padded leather vest
    1 backpack
    1 diamond tiara
    50 gold coins
    1 scroll marked "WISH" hidden away in your boots.

    Your fairy wants to leave you after the week has passed, it wants to go home, but it will stick with you for a few days more.
    >> LDT-A 01/04/10(Mon)11:44 No.7423696
    Or better still, capture them (his best friend), allow them to escape with the plans to our doomsday device, when in fact the plans are actually for the wedding (Which incidentally is the only way to stop the doomsday device)
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:45 No.7423706
    Find a City. Lets become a face in the crowd, get some new clothes that are properly BBEG and mysterious - a cloak of some sort perhaps. Lets keep the tiara, a momento of our true desire, and lets find a better weapon - a slim but poisoned dagger maybe.
    >> LDT-A 01/04/10(Mon)11:45 No.7423709
    Oh and the dude who we capture gets to be best man.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:46 No.7423721
    What kind of vampire lord are we dealing with?

    Is he a Ricean angst vampire? Is he the classic Belmont vs Dracula vampire? Sparkly retard vampire?

    He got a castle?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:46 No.7423723
    see - >>7423706
    Lets find some methods to kill Vampires too - get some garlic or a wooden stake or something.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)11:49 No.7423753

    You stop by a city - you have purchased the following:

    1 slim Dagger
    1 Black cloak with hidden pockets
    1 vial of poison, good for 50 stabs.

    you've spent 10 gold pieces.

    Your fairy wants to leave you today.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:50 No.7423767
    Well, a deals a deal I suppose.

    Any last tricks its willing to teach before we part?
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)11:51 No.7423781

    You don't know. From your general knowledge, he could be a Nosferatu type, but boyfriend DID say "Vampire Lord" so you're thinking of all those fancy lords you've seen in the King's castle.. only they drink blood.

    you could get more information from the city library... if you can spend the time.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:52 No.7423788
    Lets be appropriately BBEG - keep the critter imprisoned until we have all its knowledge. Get a magic case - or a bottle for it.

    Lets also look for a book on dealing with Vampires, and also magic involving blood and steel/silver.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)11:54 No.7423809

    Your fairy tells you that you remind it so much of its old master, that you might even end up Ascending to a lich one day. You would need to commit some more evil deeds and complete the Ascension ritual first though, as far as it knows that what all liches have to do..

    When you ask it for more information , it doesnt' know any more, but the old lich it used to serve had written down the process (perhaps for a deserving apprentice?) and the book is probably looted by adventurers and put into storage in the nearby adventurer's guild.. or perhaps in a magician's library.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:56 No.7423820
    We cant get married if we're a undead skeleton!
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)11:56 No.7423822

    beat this score and you grab the creature before it can fly away.
    >> dice+1d6 Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)11:57 No.7423832
    rolled 1 = 1


    uh, beat this
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:57 No.7423840
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)11:58 No.7423846


    ... ok you grab the little thing before it can fly away. It is squirming in your hand as you look around your room for a suitable container.

    roll 1d6, you successfully imprison the fucker if you get more than 4.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)11:59 No.7423857
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:00 No.7423864
    rolled 4 = 4

    Here goes.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:01 No.7423868
    rolled 4 = 4

    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:02 No.7423879
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:02 No.7423881
    And thus I just rolled 2 4's in a row.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)12:02 No.7423885

    it flies away from your grip just as you were about to reach a bottle. It flies out the window and speeds away, too fast for you to catch.

    At least you still have your cube, hiding behind the inn, behind some rubbish.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:02 No.7423888
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)12:03 No.7423896
    you've went back on your promise to the little creature. that wasn't a nice thing at all.

    you've committed two evil deeds now. murder and betrayal.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:04 No.7423902
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:05 No.7423909
    Let's find someone with a big dick, seduce him and then murder him!
    Take the dick as a souvenir!
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:06 No.7423917
    > Let's find someone with a big dick, seduce him and then murder him!

    > imagining the dirty neckbeards writing all this kind of kills it.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:06 No.7423921
    We arent going to die a lonely spinster, God damnit, and if that means breaking the rules, SO BE IT.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:09 No.7423948

    you could spend the day studying at the library.. or you could.. do .. bad things.. what you did in the forest both horrifies you and.. excites you. it was such a rush, having a man's life in your hands, and snufffing it out like a cheap toy candle.

    on the other hand, you need to make sense of this magic thing. Being able to create gelatinous cubes that obey you is a cool party trick but there has to be more than that...
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:10 No.7423958
    Magic is more productive.

    We need to be able to light vampires on fire from a distance.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:12 No.7423979
    why has this thread not died? :(
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:13 No.7423989
    Because it is made of win. And a Quest thread.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:14 No.7424003

    by win you mean disgusting masturbation posts?

    dude, it's written by a neckbeard. one of you...
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:14 No.7424005
    Lets hit the books! STUDY MONTAGE!

    This thread should start autosaging soon.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:15 No.7424016
    And you are one of us. How does that make you feel.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)12:18 No.7424045

    You've been feverishly studying. You now know basic vampire lore.

    You know how to cast magic missile - although you can only get it to work 1/3rd of the time.

    Your gelatinous cube looks a little dehydrated. perhaps you've been neglecting it?

    Also, the librarians have been giving you funny looks ever since you started hanging out in the adventurer lore books section.. and going home only at night.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:20 No.7424054
    Get some water for the cube.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:20 No.7424055
    kill someone, give it to the Gianni the Gelatinous Cube
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)12:20 No.7424062
    > Gianni the Gelatinous Cube

    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:20 No.7424064
    Research care and feeding of gelatinous cubes.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)12:22 No.7424087

    it seems to have some effect, however it doesn't look as "healthy" as it was when you made it


    they're totally obedient.. as long as you feed them. plant matter's fine but it's meat that makes them strong. if you neglect it too long it will wander off and absorb some rats or something.. anything.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:23 No.7424093
    Ok let's give some meat to Gianni.
    Find someone, kill it, give it to Gianni the Gelatinous Cube.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:24 No.7424100

    fuck that noise. i buy cheap meat at the market and feed it to my cube.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:24 No.7424107
    Slaughter orphan and feed delicious orphan meat to cube.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:24 No.7424110
    I say its time to seduce another victim - lets pretend to be a prostitute, and without going too much into detail please - kill our "client" and feed his corpse to the cube - its nice to have something cleaning up after you to cover your tracks.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:25 No.7424118
    This. We're not short of money, and we're in a town- don't commit traceable crimes.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:27 No.7424134
    We cant just feed random people to the cube, town guard'll get suspicious, go for animal meat.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)12:27 No.7424144
    autosaging. looks like that's it fatguys.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/10(Mon)12:32 No.7424193
    See you next time then.
    >> Evil Girlfriend Quest! !ktVTaTVKUw 01/04/10(Mon)12:34 No.7424204

    anyone want to take over?

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