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  • File : 1262860100.jpg-(1.38 MB, 1500x3400, Captain of the Guard01.jpg)
    1.38 MB VALIAN/tg/AYWIZARDGUARD QUEST PART 2 Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)05:28 No.7470201  
    You are KYLE THE GREAT, an asshole, a shitty guard, and an aspiring illegal spellcaster. After being rejected by your drunken, greenhorn subordinate, you are standing in the common room of an inn with everyone looking at you.

    It is roughly 11:00. You have time to go to the library and work on translating the spellbook you took off of a foreign wizard's corpse. If you plan on going back to the barracks, you should be there by 12, and if you don't want to go back to the barracks, that's cool too.

    Last thread >>7468480
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:29 No.7470217
    I kill myself for being a whorefaggot
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:30 No.7470238
    No, look, I am just going to spontaenously cast magic right here, okay? I rolled a 14 in the other thread, I think if I roll higher you should take pity on me. I want everyone, including Mike, to just forget about what went down.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:30 No.7470241
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:31 No.7470247
    rolled 9 = 9

    Okay, failure has now become so integral to this quest it has transcended to my rolling. Second try.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)05:32 No.7470254
    You wave the wand in the air. Holding it makes you think of holding a cock, and you get an erection. Is that enough magic for you?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:32 No.7470264
    Yeah, lets go to the library to work on translating his notes. We are now a hard assed guard on the edge, who breaks all the rules, but always solves the case and makes our Captain grudgingly admit how sherlock we are
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:33 No.7470272
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:35 No.7470293
    God Kyle has to be the biggest fuck-up of a guard that ever existed.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:38 No.7470320
         File1262860708.jpg-(30 KB, 871x869, Full Power 4.jpg)
    30 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:38 No.7470321
    Go to the fucking library you fuck
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 01/07/10(Thu)05:38 No.7470322
    but we love him for it
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)05:39 No.7470327
    Okay, so off to the library!

    You weave your way through the crowded streets, making your way to the library.

    Once there, you head to the languages section. You find a large translation dictionary, and set upon your task of translating his notes.

    I'm sure I'll regret asking, but can I get a d20 roll? Better rolls = less time and more accurate.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:39 No.7470329

    I say fuck being a guard and fuck failure

    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:39 No.7470336

    See >>7469929 for the roll.

    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:40 No.7470338
    rolled 2 = 2

    Attempt TRANSLATE
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:40 No.7470341
    rolled 2 = 2

    We already rolled a 19?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:40 No.7470348
    FUCK. Oh, yeah, use the 19 plz
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:40 No.7470349
    fucking shit

    we're bad at everything
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:41 No.7470368

    A 19 was appointed to us by the glory of /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:42 No.7470378
    Oh Kyle, you fuckup.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)05:42 No.7470380
    Alright, I'll use it. That's fine.

    The magician's notes are very neat and orderly. It takes you a few hours, but you eventually get through most of the packet. it is about 5:00 PM. Most of the spells seem really complex and/or require really obscure regents. You don't understand how the man could have cast spells without all of these regents on him.

    There are a few cantrip-like spells that you could try practicing, however, it would be unwise to practice in public.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:44 No.7470397
    Find some abandoned building and practice in its basement.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:44 No.7470399

    And we shall.
    In the privacy of our own hidden warehouse enclosure in the deep of night.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)05:44 No.7470400
    sneak outside of town into a secluded area to practice spells

    we're a guard so we know where the patrols go
    don't go there
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:44 No.7470402
    Hide under a table until everyone leaves.
    Practice spells through the night.
    Turn up to guard duty a fatigued useless chuclefuck.
    Too tired to do anything right.
    No-one notices.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:44 No.7470403
    Lets go ask an actual wizard to explain what the wand we picked up from the foreign wizard actually is
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:44 No.7470405
    Please. We'll roll to conceal our magic and end up in the fucking grand amphitheatre casting loveheart-shaped magic missiles at the king's dick.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:46 No.7470418

    It's easy. We just make the roll one to display our magic to the world.
    Completely invisible.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:47 No.7470432
    rolled 8 = 8

    I'm doing it. Rolling to REVEAL OUR MAGIC TO THE WORLD!
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)05:48 No.7470444
    If it's one thing you DO know, it's the city. You find a building, go to the basement, set up some candles, and begin to practice.

    I'll explain your choice of cantrips, and some of the other spells of interest.
    CANTRIPS: Minor telekinesis, Tiny Explosion (read: pop), Minor Illusion (Prestidigitation)
    OTHER SPELLS: What looks to be something about lightning, some spell involving teleportation and fire, another one that seems to have to do with becoming two-dimensional.
    There is also an extensively detailed ritual in the back of the packet, spanning multiple pages. The writing is very cramped, but you can kind of figure out it summons something. The reagent list for it is massive.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:49 No.7470462
    Practice Minor Illusion, don't touch anything we don't fully understand.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:50 No.7470463

    Illusion seems to be the most useful for a guard now.
    Sneak daggers out of nowhere.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:50 No.7470464
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:51 No.7470473
    rolled 14 = 14

    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 01/07/10(Thu)05:51 No.7470481
    roll that shit
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:51 No.7470484
    We can use this for covering our failures.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)05:52 No.7470487
    Heres an inventory check while I'm listing shit:
    100 COINS
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:52 No.7470490
    Minor illusion - we are least likely to kill everything when it inevitably goes wrong.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:53 No.7470503
    100 coins?
    Fuck magic, ale and whores.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:53 No.7470510
    We seriously need to get the wizard's items checked out. They could hold FABULOUS PRIZES!
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:54 No.7470520

    We're a wizard now.
    We are the prize.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)05:54 No.7470522
    I forgot to list your CLUB. You have a CLUB. Don't forget it.
    Waving the wand carefully, you attempt to conjure a minor illusion. Going off of >>7470463 you stare intently at your club. You feel...something...and the club begins to fade. You become excited at casting your first spell! Your excitement breaks your concentration, and the club fades back into view, but you don't care.

    Congratulations on casting your first spell!
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:55 No.7470535
    We did, only interesting thing was the statue and book.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:55 No.7470537
    rolled 19 = 19

    Use wand to cast ERECTION, wank to Mike
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)05:55 No.7470546

    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)05:55 No.7470550
    No, you haven't done anything with the items. Magic items are just as illegal as casting spells, only royalty can own them.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 01/07/10(Thu)05:56 No.7470554
    now would be a good time to go and report back to duty if possible or check in, maybe bring dan into the fold? regardless we don't want to break ties with the guards/town until we can reliably work magic until then the facade must be maintained
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:56 No.7470555
    Thank you /tg/, you make me proud.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:56 No.7470558
    But what if the illusion becomes real? Some hideous monstrosity from the Void Beneath tears through and makes the illusion into its home, ravaging the world? We should do the MOST destructive thing we can, as in the end, it'll be the LEAST destructive.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)05:56 No.7470561
    Your cock springs up instantly, and you fap furiously in the corner of the room, thinking of how cute Mike was when he was angry.

    After you finish, what do you do?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:57 No.7470566
    Continue practicing until we can vanish anything we want completely, up to a reasonable size (like a whole sword, or something).
    Then set up a distraction for ourselves and do it again, so that we can do it in combat if need be.
    Spells while juggling or some shit, I don't know.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)05:57 No.7470571
    ritual attempt

    how do I rolled dice?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:57 No.7470574
    rolled 2 = 2

    Use wand to cast ERECTION, wank to Mike. Again
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:57 No.7470578
    Investigate the cat statue then.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:58 No.7470580
    Oh, no, erectile dysfunction...
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)05:58 No.7470581
    You do not even have the reagents required to attempt the ritual, let alone most of the spells.
    Your cock kind of twitches a bit, but stays limp.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:58 No.7470585
    We probably just rendered ourselves impotent or something.
    Way to go, Kyle.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 01/07/10(Thu)05:58 No.7470587
    go back to guardsville, all is according to plan, practice over the next few days/weeks, find mike.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)05:59 No.7470599
    fine, then

    practice exploding magic

    that couldn't possibly go wrong, could it?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)05:59 No.7470600
    Search notes for clues as to who that magician was.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:00 No.7470612
    It's getting late, go back to barracks and finish guard duty. Also talk to dad about new spear.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:01 No.7470615

    I say we practice the illusion until we PERFECT it.
    Then do explosions.
    If someone hears it, they won't SEE us.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:01 No.7470617
    C'mon /tg/, make a decision.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:01 No.7470618
    how will we explain where we've been?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:02 No.7470623
    Or we could fake our own death. That's always great fun.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:02 No.7470627
    Chasing a thief, durr.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:02 No.7470630
    oh, fuck

    I like this idea


    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:02 No.7470632
    Practice illusion more.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:03 No.7470645
    Then we can go to Mexico and take control of an army of demons!
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:03 No.7470647
    MINOR Illusion.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:04 No.7470655
    Choo Choo!
    You head back to the barracks, stowing your magic possessions in the basement. You reach the barracks. The captain sees you. He has a bloody nose, stuffed with cotton. "Where the hell have you been, Kyle? Get out to the main gate with Brandon and Dan!"
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 01/07/10(Thu)06:04 No.7470658
    we were STOPPING CRIMINAL SCUM in the underbelly, having chased some street urchins into the deep and twisted city sewers and basements ultimately they got away, (need to work on cardio and calithetics) we were lost for a while but managed to find our way back.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:05 No.7470661
    Throw the Captain a salute and go to the main gate
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:05 No.7470663
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:06 No.7470669
    Go do guard duty, hit on Mike constantly.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:06 No.7470672
         File1262862390.jpg-(36 KB, 871x869, Lying.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:07 No.7470679
    Also, how good are we with our illusion/sleight of hand now?
    What kind of stuff can we hide, and how well, and can we do it under stress?
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:07 No.7470680
    go to gate

    make passes at brandon
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 01/07/10(Thu)06:07 No.7470684
    mike isn't gay, in fact judging by his reaction in the bar, he is probably a homophobe, a secret love must be held for him, otherwise he may beat you with a stick and knowing the way rolls have been going he might win.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:07 No.7470687
    You salute your superior, and head off to the main gate.

    When you arrive, you see Brandon and Dan standing at opposite sides of the gate, avoiding each others eyes. You hurry over to Dan. He sees you and walks over "Where have you been? Doesn't matter, you won't believe what happened! I was waiting for you at the barracks, when Mike barges in, shitfaced drunk. The captain goes off on him, and Mike punched the old bastard right in the nose! The captain was furious! He had Mike thrown in the dungeon!" Dan laughed loudly.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:07 No.7470691


    He really likes us too.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:09 No.7470702
    Mike did it on purpose. He is in league with the wizard. They are planning their escape.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 01/07/10(Thu)06:09 No.7470703
    i recall him decking KYLE THE GREAT in the tavern, we need to go escort mike out of the dungeon, it is ultimately our fault we told him that girl wanted to fuck him.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:09 No.7470706
    Look into Dan's eyes, ask lots of questions, act interested.
    Lots of physical contact, touching the arms and shoulders.
    Laugh at his jokes.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:10 No.7470711
         File1262862601.jpg-(39 KB, 871x869, Happy 2.jpg)
    39 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:10 No.7470714
    Fake laugh, but secretly worry about Mike and make a mental note to visit him later with some onigiri. Ask Dan for a sit-rep
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:10 No.7470721
    You do this, Dan doesn't seem to notice. Brandon is talking to some people with carts, if you care.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:11 No.7470735

    Onigiri is an excellent idea.

    We know Mike didn't have sex with that female because he loves us.

    He's just afraid.
    Afraid of what might be.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:11 No.7470737
    Swagger up to Brandon, say "well, well, well, wot 'ave we 'ere then?"
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:12 No.7470744
    Pretend to be drunk and start a city wide brawl!
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:12 No.7470747
    Repeat with Brandon, while also finding out what's going on with these carts.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 01/07/10(Thu)06:13 No.7470751
    why are people with carts coming to our city, we don't have a used cart dealership here, they need to take their business elsewhere
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:13 No.7470760
    Dan seems surprised you wanna visit him. "Yeah I guess I'll come with you tonight, after our shift." he laughs again "You shoulda seen him man! He was REALLY drunk!"
    You do so. Brandon gives you a cold stare and a nod. "Kyle." he says, before turning back to the people with the carts. He seems to be having them fill out some paperwork.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:14 No.7470777
    Excellent. Dan and Mike threeway ftw. Have a gander at what the cart is carrying
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:15 No.7470778

    Dan is *not* coming.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:15 No.7470781
    Subtlety fondle his balls
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:16 No.7470802
    You better roll, and you better roll HIGH
    Barrels of some sort, along with some grain covered by a cloth. The carts are being pulled by mules.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:17 No.7470808
         File1262863044.jpg-(25 KB, 871x869, Do It.jpg)
    25 KB

    Voting fondle.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:18 No.7470819
    So this was originally some sort of guard quest and now its gay guard quest?

    I'm okay with that.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:18 No.7470825
    Make there's nothing illegal hidden in the grains.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:18 No.7470827
    rolled 8 = 8

    Covered by cloth, eh? Inspect grain.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:20 No.7470852

    Also, yes, investigate cart contents closely.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:20 No.7470857
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:20 No.7470860
    You go over and begin inspecting the grain. "Kyle", Brandon says, annoyed, "I already did that. Their clear." you ignore him and continue your search.
    Try rolling and not voting.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:21 No.7470870
    put dice+1d20 in the email field
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 01/07/10(Thu)06:21 No.7470873
    dice 1d20 in the email field
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:22 No.7470881
    Plunge hand into grain barrell (imagining its Mikes ass) and look around for his prosta- eh I mean for contraband.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:23 No.7470899
         File1262863415.jpg-(34 KB, 871x869, Oh yeah.jpg)
    34 KB
    rolled 11 = 11


    Rolling SEDUCE.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:23 No.7470901
    Your cock stirs in your pants at the thought of fisting Mike, but you find no contraband.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:24 No.7470914
    Give the merchants a look, "che" at them, and have a peek at their papers
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:25 No.7470922
    Dammit, if we had any weird junk we didn't need, like the cat statue, I'd say we illusion it invisible, bury it in the grain while 'searching for contraband', then 'find' it and have the cart owners jailed, tortured and executed for witchcraft.
    This would give us an excuse to go to jail while on duty, and therefore see Dan even earlier than otherwise possible.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:26 No.7470934
    You walk over to Brandon and try to put the moves on him, right then and there, in front of the people with carts and Dan. He stares at you coldly. "Kyle." he says, sounding half perplexed, half angry, "Leave. Now. You too Dan." Dan pulls you away before a fight begins, towards a bar. As you walk away, you look over your shoulder and see Brandon still staring at you.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 01/07/10(Thu)06:26 No.7470937
    see mike you mean, but that is a level of dickery that elevates us to criminal scum, WE'D HAVE TO STOP OURSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:26 No.7470944
    >therefore see Dan
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:28 No.7470979
    Give Brandon a wink, then pat Dan on the small of the back before following him
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:29 No.7470982
    send brandon air kisses :3
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:29 No.7470985
         File1262863753.jpg-(38 KB, 871x869, Hai.jpg)
    38 KB
    rolled 10 = 10


    Rolling SEDUCE DAN.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:30 No.7471003
    Get absolutely fucking wasted.
    On duty.
    Return to flirt with Brandon.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:30 No.7471007
    It stopped being funny as of when you did it the first time. This is just ambushing the game.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:30 No.7471008
    /tg/ roleplays a horny, GAY-AS-ALL-FUCK wizard.
    And can't roll for shit.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:30 No.7471011
    He continues staring at you.
    Dan chuckles a bit nervously, but otherwise seems oblivious to your seduction.

    It is almost nightfall. Dan suggests getting some food at the bar, and then heading back to the barracks to report in, and then going to see Mike.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 01/07/10(Thu)06:31 No.7471012
    stop failing at seducing,
    actually, keep failing at seducing its in flavor
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:31 No.7471021
    Oh wait, no.
    Get DAN absolutely fucking wasted.
    On duty.
    Fuck him in the wine cellar.
    Return to flirt with Brandon.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:32 No.7471027
    Go to tavern and buy Mike something really nice
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:32 No.7471028
         File1262863953.jpg-(42 KB, 871x869, Wanted.jpg)
    42 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:33 No.7471039
    Have candelit dinner with Dan.
    Buy present for Mike.
    Visit Mike.
    Return to barracks carnally satisfied.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 01/07/10(Thu)06:33 No.7471044
    mike is still in dungeon after punching out guard captain
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:33 No.7471045


    Also favoring the get-Dan-drunk-and-fuck-him idea.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:35 No.7471065

    Im in favour of this.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:36 No.7471071
    nice TAKE-AWAY, bub
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:36 No.7471078
    You have a nice, semi-romantic dinner with Dan (it would have been more romantic if he didnt wasnt oblivious to you coming on to him), with lots of alcohol. You're both pretty drunk at the end of it, Dan more so than you.

    Where do you want to take him if you want to proceed with fucking him?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:38 No.7471097

    Random basement that is not the magic basement.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:38 No.7471098
    Well, Home is out of the place thanks to dad.

    So i guess we can rent a room at the inn?
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 01/07/10(Thu)06:39 No.7471112
    i'm going to leave this here, archive it before the final anon falls victim to work, food, or sleep
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:39 No.7471113
    wait wait wait we need to visit Mike. We are Guards, we can get Mike out of jail easy (if need be bribe or illusion steal the cell guard)
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:39 No.7471114
    Do we have anywhere available?
    Or is it just the barracks?
    Otherwise, perhaps we can entice him back to one of the warehouses we know of, like the one we were practicing magic in.
    Ideally a warehouse full of cloths, or absolutely ideally mattresses and beds.
    Also, collect some wine on the way.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:40 No.7471123
    You rent a room. Dan can hardly make it up the stairs, he keeps mumbling. You get upstairs, Dan lies down. Within seconds, he is asleep.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:40 No.7471132
    Fuck no we need to fuck Dan.
    Mike's not going anywhere, he'll still be there when we're done.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:41 No.7471138
         File1262864463.jpg-(25 KB, 871x869, Sperm 2.jpg)
    25 KB
    rolled 12 = 12


    Fuck him. Make it good.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:41 No.7471139
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:41 No.7471145
    rolled 10 = 10

    other basement

    not magic basement

    then cast erection on Dan
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:42 No.7471147
    Undress him.
    If he wakes up, explain that you are just making him comfortable, because he is so pathetic and drunk.
    If not...
    Romantic non-consensual loving?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:42 No.7471149
    Tuck him in, and give him an affectionate kiss on his forehead. Then, go visit Mike
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:42 No.7471155
    rolled 10 = 10

    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:43 No.7471161
    rolled 9 = 9

    rolling for leaving Dan to sleep and visiting Mike
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:43 No.7471167
    Magic erections wins!
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:43 No.7471172
    Make him more comfortable.
    By undressing him.
    Cast erection.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:44 No.7471184

    After we fuck him, cast a permanent illusion on his testicles.
    Make him think they're gone, he's turning into a woman.
    Or make them look look like rubies.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:44 No.7471185
    You undress Dan. he stirs a bit, mumbling incoherently. Man, he is REALLY drunk
    Without your wand, it's a bit harder to do, but after casting it, Dan's cock swells up hard.
    Are you giving or receiving?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:45 No.7471189
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:45 No.7471196

    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:45 No.7471197
    Cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:46 No.7471204
    rolled 14 = 14

    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:46 No.7471206
    Jerk him off while fucking.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:47 No.7471214
    You give your sleeping guard friend the best head you can manage. He grunts in his sleep and opens his eyes as he cums in your mouth. He looks down at you "Wait..."he says, still in a half drunken, half sleep stupor "Whadda ya...doin'?" He hiccups.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:48 No.7471217

    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:48 No.7471220
    Lie, Say this is a dream.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:48 No.7471222
    rolled 19 = 19

    Give Dan a blowjob
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:50 No.7471234
         File1262865021.jpg-(40 KB, 871x869, Come 1.jpg)
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    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:51 No.7471244
    rolled 6 = 6

    tell him not to worry

    wait untill he goes back to sleep

    jerk off in his face
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:51 No.7471248
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:52 No.7471249
    rolled 8 = 8


    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:52 No.7471252
    rolled 16 = 16

    cast illusion on self, pretend to be maid that mike hit on
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:54 No.7471259
    Without your wand, the spell is difficult to cast. You say the right things (you think) and make the required gestures, with yourself as the intended target.

    You start to feel tingly. Dan's eyes open wider. "What the fuck?" he mumbles.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:55 No.7471271
    are we the maid now?
    what happened?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:55 No.7471276
    rolled 9 = 9


    Smother him unconscious with our ass.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:56 No.7471282
    rolled 10 = 10

    email field, son

    but what he said
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:56 No.7471291
    rolled 20 = 20

    err, that is, tell him it was a dream
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:57 No.7471293
    rolled 11 = 11


    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:57 No.7471301
    Woah woah woah, is there a mirror or some shit we can check our appearance in?
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:57 No.7471302
    Looking at your skin, it appears a bright, vibrant yellow. With a yelp, you lose focus on the spell. The tingling stops, and your skin goes back to normal.

    The spell is not powerful enough to change your appearance completely.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:57 No.7471304
    mount Dan and ride him
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:57 No.7471305
    Lie and say that this is a dream. (First time using Dice, Sorry.)
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:58 No.7471306


    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:58 No.7471312
    Well, I was thinking we were going to end up wearing the maid's clothes but with Kyle's body, so it's not the worst outcome by far.

    I vote we tell Dan he's very drunk and hallucinating, and should go back to sleep.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)06:58 No.7471315
    "Uh...ohkay...shure.." Dan says. "Wierd dream." He blinks and looks at you again, before rolling over. Within seconds he is asleep again.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)06:59 No.7471321
    rolled 17 = 17

    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:59 No.7471322
    rolled 1 = 1


    WE MATE.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)06:59 No.7471324
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)07:00 No.7471330
    I don't know what to do here...
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)07:00 No.7471331
    then it's off to try the same with mike
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)07:00 No.7471337
    my roll was highest :3
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:01 No.7471340
    Now can we visit Mike?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:01 No.7471341
    Either way, it looks like Dan's inevitably going to get fucked.
    I say we gag him and tie him to the bed first.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)07:01 No.7471346
    not until we leave our seed in dan's face!
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)07:01 No.7471348
    Your cock is throbbing, so it doesnt take long of wanking it to blast a big load onto Dan's sleeping face. He mutters, but does not wake up.

    Satisfied, you put on y our clothes. What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:01 No.7471349
    So did anyone ever think this quest would end up here when it started? I sure didn't.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:02 No.7471356
    rolled 4 = 4

    KISS DAN, Then leave to visit mike.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:02 No.7471357
    rolled 19 = 19


    Take them off.
    Cast erection.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)07:03 No.7471363
    you know what?

    fuck mike

    We have magic to study
    we're doing way better as a gay wizard then an asshole guard
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:03 No.7471366

    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)07:03 No.7471369
    You begin to fuck him hard in the ass. He wakes up again, looking back at you. "Whatz goin on?!" He seems scared. I know I would be.

    Finish? Bluff your way out of it? Leave?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:03 No.7471372
    rolled 5 = 5

    >fuck mike

    That´s pretty much the idea, Yes.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:04 No.7471380
    >fuck mike
    This is what we're working on.
    Fuck wizardry, we're trying to sleep with the whole Guard contingent, to turn the barracks into some sort of frat house.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:05 No.7471382
    rolled 18 = 18

    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)07:05 No.7471384
    rolled 19 = 19

    "It's just a dream, Mik... er... Dan.
    Just a dream"
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:06 No.7471390
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)07:07 No.7471400
    He grunts as you come inside of him.
    "This is just a dream" you say to his bewildered face. Casting illusion again, your skin turns bright violet this time (and the tingling seems harsher), you put your clothes on, and run out of the inn.

    To Mike? To Brandon? To more Wizardry?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:08 No.7471405

    More Wizardry.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)07:08 No.7471409
    rolled 14 = 14


    let's work on the illusion thing some more
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:09 No.7471413
    MIIIIIIIIKE with onigiri
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:09 No.7471416
    I alarms me how easily everyone rolls with Kyle being a gay date raping wizard.

    Also, now to Mike.
    Having fucked Dan, we shall now discard him like a used condom, and turn to trying to fuck Mike.
    Brandon shall be last, after the other two are turned.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:09 No.7471423
    rolled 12 = 12


    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:10 No.7471425
    Yes, Wizadry seems to be the most logical idea.
    Seeing how it saved our hide more then once so far.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)07:10 No.7471431
    this thread has gone to truly great places

    I can't stop laughing when I think about it
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:11 No.7471434
    I feel the need to say that what you just said is probably the greatest thing to ever be said in a quest thread.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)07:12 No.7471442
    You decide to work on Wizardry. Do you want to practice your current cantrips, do you want to study the items you got from the wizard and merchant? Do you want to buy some reagents (60 coins left)?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:13 No.7471444
    Well, is that two agreements?
    Try to fuck Mike now?
    We did say we'd visit him tonight, and we can practice after we visit him, if it's a short visit.
    So if it doesn't go well, and Mike's not into us, we can practice magic and try Mike again tomorrow.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:13 No.7471449
    rolled 17 = 17

    Practice Illusion.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:14 No.7471458
    Ja, illusion.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)07:15 No.7471468
    we didn't tell him we'd go visit him

    he won't know the difference

    let's work on illusions some more and what are our options reagents-wise?
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)07:19 No.7471492
    You'd have to go to a reagents merchant.
    You spend a couple hours working on your Minor Illusion, until you can cast and hold it on an object with ease. You spend a while making your club and spear fade in and out of visibility. You spend a bit more time studying the packet too - you decipher that the teleportation/fire spell is similar to the illusion cantrip, and there is an invisibility spell as well that seems similar.

    Of course, those require reagents.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:20 No.7471496

    At the... same time?

    When... do we get paid?
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)07:21 No.7471499
    any specific reagents?

    anything we know how to find easily?
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:22 No.7471508
         File1262866943.jpg-(42 KB, 871x869, Wizardry.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:23 No.7471512

    Purchasing magical reagent may arouse suspicion.
    Suggest more clever means of acquisition.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)07:25 No.7471528
    Yes, reagents are hard to come by. Most are illegal.

    For the teleportation/fire one, you need a lot of things you cannot even pronounce, but the two most prominent reagents are Fire Essence and Void Energy. You don't even understand how you can capture these things in physical form, let along have a supply of them...
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:26 No.7471530
         File1262867175.jpg-(20 KB, 470x737, Guard Quest 2.jpg)
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    Fun quest.
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)07:26 No.7471534
    you're right, and we are a guard

    tomorrow let's confiscate some "contraband" that some merchants are hiding from the law
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)07:28 No.7471548

    more research then!

    let's head to the library and look this shit up

    also, what time is it?
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)07:28 No.7471553
    Tomorrow seems like a good idea. you are EXTREMELY tired.

    You decide to go to sleep for the night (its about 3 am). Where do you sleep?
    >> Duskull !!8LCSE0Zp1mL 01/07/10(Thu)07:29 No.7471558
    let's return home

    we never did ask father for that spear
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:29 No.7471559

    Pay special attention to hunting down illegal book sellers and reagent smugglers.
    Catch them.
    Become famous guard for diligence.
    Receive alot of money.
    Secretly become DOOM WIZARD.

    Priority on learning how to create our own reagents, too.
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)07:33 No.7471582
    You go to your father's two-story smithy. You go upstairs to the room that is always open to you, and decide it might be time for some sleep.

    Ok /tg/, im gonna take a bit of a break now, I'll be back in a few hours with part three! Stay safe, lulz.
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:33 No.7471588
    >> Kyle the Guardsman !mpaN0d.nxY 01/07/10(Thu)07:36 No.7471599

    THREAD 1: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/7468480/

    THREAD 2: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/7470201/
    >> Anonymous 01/07/10(Thu)07:36 No.7471602
    See ya Kyle, looking forward to the next part.
    >> ~Trap !YfNCOoJres 01/07/10(Thu)07:46 No.7471649
         File1262868361.png-(2 KB, 160x125, 13302218267.png)
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    This made me smile.
    Thank you, /tg/.

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