All Lamia are hippies.

This is canon.

And awesome.

Newfag here. So... What's the difference between a lamia and a naga?

>>8183249
one has arms, the other doesn't

All nagas are evil

>>8183236

>>8183249
Lamia are like Centaurs, but with a snake instead of a horse.

Naga are like Kenku, but with a snake instead of a bird.

All lamias, nymphs and dryads are whores, of course.

We're never going to move forward as a multi-species society if the media keep reinforcing these stereotypes. There's a lamia at my work and she's a shy, bookish girl who rarely talks to anyone.

>>8183236
>All Lamia are hippies

i guess that's why her stats are so high

>>8183267
Ouch. Are you trying to kill me?

>>8183267
>Ecchi Factor

What is this I don't even

>>8183264
Date the fuck out of her, man. I know one like that too, and once I got her to crawl out of her proverbial shell, some of the best sex of my life.

>>8183294
This came from Japan. Are you REALLY Surprised?
>>8183264
And I have a Minotaur Accountant in my office. Everyone thinks he works security.

>>8183326
Sadly, no, I'm not surprised at all.

>>8183236
>>8183264
>>8183323
You guys ever smoked a Lamia's stash? They grow some GREAT weed man!
My Roomie in college was a Lamia, I've never been that high since.

oh sure you all work with non-humans, but have you ever tried working UNDER one? my project manager is a beholder. every damn time we have problem with our code, he just tells us to "look at it more closely". I dont know why he ever got promoted.

>>8183362
Where do you live? When I was in college we didn't have any heating, I can't imagine anyone cold blooded sticking around in the colder months.

>>8183374
I've "worked" under a non-human, if you catch my drift.
Those years of slavery in the hobgoblin empire really sucked, tbh.

>>8183374
The beholders are all in on it together, even the incompetent ones. If one of them has to pick between a human like you or me and another fucking eye-head he'll choose us last every goddamm time.

Now I wish I join that trip to Egypt. All we got around here is this.

>>8183326
Accountant Minotaur you say? Where at? He might be someone I know.

Sometimes I question why I stay in a Fey heavy apartment complex.

rolled 71, 99, 89 = 259

>>8183374
He saw through upper management's magic tricks i guess

dont ever work with a reaper

they tend to strip you of your individuality

I mean my old boss did so too but at least he didnt shoot lasers out of his fingers

>>8183421
maybe i should talk with the head of the company about it, he always keeps telling me he wants to know what my ideas for the company are.

>>8183394
University of Florida.
I think the mascot was an alligator or some shit...
>>8183421
>>8183374
Hey now! My boss is OK... as long as you don't screw around and use the proper cover for your TPS reports...

>>8183461
How about working for the Geth? Is that any good?

>>8183374
Brother, don't get me started. I had a Formian for a boss once. Our coffee breaks were exactly fifteen minutes long, to the second. And it didn't matter which way we got it wrong either, still got a pay dock. Shit sucked.

rolled 71, 69, 45 = 185

>>8183467
Don't bother. They're a bunch of slimy slugs who want to get into your head to make you work longer for less pay.

No, you want good bosses, you go into the music industry. The fey always love new ideas. Right now i'm so into this one girl at my place, she's good with her hands. Plays the catgut

>>8183494
It's fine as long as you don't get stuck under one of the religious fanatics. I mean, sure the sane ones are a bit under par in the originality department, but it's a fair bit better than getting your head chopped off just because you're "organic."

>>8183524
Heh. Well I guess I'm lucky working for the Monolith.

WHOO WHOO!
Hold on here! What's with all this non-human hate I'm hearing? It's not MY fault that Rob likes me because I can pull doubt shifts no problem, and I don;t need to take a lunch break.

>>8183450
Maybe you know Mr Meranus, my calculus teacher? I don't think a lot of minotaurs teach high school maths, we always talk about how weird it is after class.

>>8183450
His name's Steve Bloodmane. Great guy, plays on the company's softball team.

>>8183545
SHUT UP GEARHEAD!

rolled 4, 86, 82 = 172

>>8183545
Nether do I, and all i get is "Dood, take a bath"

Well, SORRY that my flesh is decomposing you intolerant fuck. Have you ever hit f7 in your life, by any chance? Or are you just gonna fix your "Misstakes" during the afterlife?

>>8183545
Nah, see, 'forged I got no issues with. Way I see it you guys are just average joes been handed the shitty end of a very weird stick.

Except those bloody Lord of Blades cultists. Fuckin wack jobs. One of them actually tried to recruit me once, I think he must have been blind.

>>8183597
Even other Warforged avoid those assholes.
>>8183584
AAAAAAAAAH! ALAN MOORE!

>>8183552
Meranus? No, no, doesn't ring any bells, sorry.

>>8183560
Wait, Bloodmane, you say? He wouldn't happen to stand about 7'2" or so, with his left horn broken off about halfway, and kinda reddish-brown hide?

This thread needs more monster waifus

i want somebody to make stalker in the cry2 engine

>>8183560
hold on, is that the Baltimore Bloodmanes?
I dated a Bloodmane in high school

brotip: if she's being boring in bed, red condom, you'll thank me later

I grew up next to the NICEST cyclops you could ever meet, wonderful girl, but I had to move away.
You wouldn't believe it though, I was down town and BAM!
Saw her on the local news, she was anchoring.
Blew my mind.

>>8183675
oh shit wrong thread lol. i think that talk with my boss i lost my head a bit.

blood for the blood god

I got a holstaurus once for a boss. Fucking best job ever. But word of advice, they may not look like it but they can be very strong.

Never date an ork. It just doesn't work out. I don't want to use the word shiftless but...

Wife of monster wife is master?

Working for demons isn't nearly as bad as people make it out to be.

>>8183715
>Waifu of monster waifu is masteru?

FTFY

>>8183715

>>8183717
It ain't bad really.
They give nice clear orders.

Diveristy is the spice of awesome.
Hell, I joined an adventuring band just to meet other speices. would have been better to get some kind of magical protection from polymorph effects first, but theres a point were you just stop trying to fix the involentary transformation and go with the flow.

Some guys over in /a/ are trying to make a Monster Girl RPG.

Sounds kinky.

>>8183752
But are you comfortable with following them?

>>8183759
Juicy details please?

>>8183717
true. They do tend to be a bit more lenient on things like time off and such. But always be sure to keep a holy symbol in your desk and insist that anything requiring your signature be brought to you there. Just in case. The fine print and loopholes in demon-penned paperwork would make a dirty lawyer shit himself sideways in pure glee. Which, surprisingly, demon companies don't actually have too many of, despite the urban legends. Lawyers, I mean.

As cute as the Fey that lives next door to me is, I don't think she likes me all that much. I'm pretty sure she was the one that made the stairs turn into cubes on me one time.

>>8183648
It might not be his real name, you know how some people do that. Should I ask him? He wouldn't be offended would he?

I really like human cuisine.

Really nice after some good ol' brains.

>>8183648
>>8183677
You guys know Steve?! AWESOME!

>>8183833
Wouldn't hurt, I think. But be delicate about it, if you do indeed think he's changed his name. Some folks have personal reasons for such thinks and dislike reminders. Just mention you used to know someone who looked a lot like him but with a different name, or something like that. if he doesn't seem bothered by that, then go ahead and ask if his current name is his real one.

>>8183584
Hey man... I have a question for you...
How soon is too soon, for the Undead?
What I mean... Well this girl just moved into my apartment complex... and shes a Zombie. Less then a year. So how soon is too soon after death?

Hey /tg/, hey /tg/, know who I grew up with?

Fucking nothing. I'm so lonely.

Think I'll go hide under my desk and cry. ;_;

>>8183864

... I'm not touching this question with a ten-foot pole.

Does anyone else think it's TOTALLY unfair that Medusa have to walk around with BLINDFOLDS?
So speciesist!

>>8183861
I'll try, thanks!

>>8183895
Are you kidding me? Medusa are almost as bad for you as second hand smoke. I mean, I know it's not their fault they're a danger, but they are.

I would find myself LUCKY to have a non-human boss!
My Supervisor is just this... creepy little girl... She hardly ever talks (Except to tell me "No" when I ask for a raise)
She just... stares at us! I mean, I know what a Supervisor is supposed to do... she freaks me out!

>>8183895
A pair of mesuda sunglasses is like 25-30 dollars over here.

>>8183895
Blingfolds? Wow, what backwoods corner of the globe are you from? Everyone knows that a simple pair of dark-lensed sunglasses works just as good without leaving the poor woman practically blind - those head-snakes can only see just so well on their own, after all.

>>8183895
I find if you wear a pair of sunglasses instead no one seems to mind.

>>8183770
I tried asking my maid out one time, she quad-slapped me, and quit.

hired a gnome later, found out she was using illusion to make my house LOOK clean.

>>8183907
>>8183895
Both of you just chill! They can see out of their snake hair just fine!
I went to Grade School with a Medusa.
And Gnolls are total jerks by the way!

>>8183778

Right, so if you ever wondered why there are so many succubi around, its not because they breed true. Long, LONG story short, theres actually several veritys, if you ever find a cage made by the princes of the hells to keep what seems to be a typical succubus trapped for no clear reason, do not teleport inside. Remember, its all fun until you realize that you just choose to be corrupted into a being people see as the whores of the universe. On the notable upside, since the basics appear to be from least to most powerful: Defilement, corruption, perswaded, chosen. at least I retained control, and it amused the princes so much they agreed to not lock me in a cage like that to prevent it spreading. I choose not to covert one being and then be trapped for eternity thanks.

>>8183910
>>8183912
>>8183913
Medusa-sunglasses mind!

>>8183764
Yeah, it's all right. Tend to follow these >>8183786 rules though.

>>8183928
Don't say that! One of my friends at the new school is a gnoll, she's very nice!

>>8183864
It's probably not going to happen dude. The nonmetabolic (is that the current word? Man, I remember when you could call them undead to their face and it was cool) don't have glands. So not much chance of hooking up with a zombie. Vamps are different, they get hopped up on blood and go all loopy on all sorts of hormones.

>>8183944
You've never gotten a Wedgie from the local pack then. I have NEVER met a Gnoll who WASN'T a jerk! Just because they're so much bigger... and good at sports...
SCREW THEM!

>>8183944
She's only nice to you because she wants your cock.

>>8183919
Gnomes are naturals at weeding out illusions and whatnot - guess that's why so many of them go into detective jobs in the corporate and private sectors... hard to slip hidden messages and eavesdropping devices past them.

>>8183972

Chicken theft is not something to joke about.

>>8183959
Replace Gnoll with Nigger.

el oh el, but only if no black people are around.

Ummm, /tg/, not sure if this is the right place to ask this, but I having feeling towards my boss, unnatural feelings, of the gay sex kind.

But he's the Lord of all evil and rings.

What should I do?

>>8183984
When did this thread turn into a love-advice column?

You know who you really have to watch out for in this kind of business environment? With all these demons, and other non human people with powerful jobs the most dangerous ones are the humans. Any human who is in a position of power greater then a demon is someone to watch out for.

Now I've worked with all kinds of people. All kinds. but strangely the humans bosses are the ones who scare me the most.

Defilement is pretty much conversion by rape. It works, but the results are spell fodder and idiotic.
Corruption takes a little longer, being essentially a more controlled defilement, with silghtly better results. not very powerful, but retaining their intelligence. (mind you jack all impulse control.)
Temptation is really a spectrum. theres a unclear line between being talked into it and choosing of your free will, but a common method of production of them is a temporary polymorph, then dabbling in defilment or corruption until the subject asks with a clear mind. fairly lucid, the mind is warped in its prioritys but they understand subtlys and have some patientce about it.
Then theres freewill.
Good luck finding someone who wants to be a succubus. I heard about a pair twins who went down that route. anyhow, since the choise is made with no coercion or influence on their mind, it gets the best results. Figure its the most pure sin to choose it. Course, I pulled a stupid to choose, but I still made the choise.

>>8183984
Take one of his rings and masturbate with it.
All I'm saying.

So... this thread went from Addict Lamias to Monsters in the office to... I don't know what.

>>8183972
I live in the suburbs, I don't have any animals.

>>8183977
You're a creep.

>>8184009
Indeed... something I've always found ironic is how some of you humans can deride the other races as "monster" in one breath, then in the next breath spout off things that would make the worst of our kind flinch. Humans are the gold-medalists in hypocrisy at times.

>>8184038
YOU ARE FAGGOT

STOP POSTING

HUMANS ARE NO BETTER OR WORSE THAN HORRIBLE MONSTERS LIKE YOURSELF, STOP BEING SO ARROGANT

>>8184038
And we breed faster then most of you!
You're just lucky it's been 300 years since the last Race-War and we're all "Polite" to each other now.
We have to live in "harmony" Just remember, my ancestors were revered for slaughtering yours. You piss us off en mass and we'll drive you to the ends of the earth and into the caves and forests, like in ancient times.
Humanis uberest!

>>8184030
Put the links around the other way, you know what I mean.

>>8184038
Well it's our nature. Remember that only a few centuries ago the average human lived to around 35. and now we got humans living to 100 and with technology it will be possible to become functionally immortal within the next century or two.

>>8184046
All of us can be heroes or monsters when viewed by the right people and in the right light, whether mythic or man. Don't be so hasty with your sharp tongue.

Oh look the speciesists have shown up, right on time

>>8184062
Greatmother's Teats, I thought humanist dungpiles like this clown were filtered off the server for hatespeech like that... how'd this clown slip through?

Trips to Feytown can be interesting at times. Just try to stick to the semi-static areas.

Dammit, what is it with folk over four feet and overwhelming arrogance? None of you work as hard as the kobolds, and none of you have the same devotion to your clan-family! Fucking dumbasses.

Don't be so hard on the humans, it's not their fault their god was an asshole who liked to fuck with his creations. I mean if you were susceptible to all diseases, damages, magic, and pretty much everything while having to work with your own hands, and die after less then half a century then you'd be pretty pissed.

>>8184081
Hey now, don't let him make you think we're ALL like that! I get along just fine with non-humans. Hell, I'm dating a Harpy! (Funfact: not all Harpies are like the old hags of legend. (no offense to any hags in the thread, it's just the best description I can think of) Just... well the old ones.)

>>8184088
God I love Feytown, I've got a cousin who lives there.
Well she isn't really my cousin, but she's so nice I don't want to argue with her about it.

>>8184088
Dude, Fey creep me the fuck out. A trip to feytown always makes me feel like something wrong is about to happen.

>>8184116
Grib, please don't start this again. I mean, I know you're one of my brother's best friends, but now isn't the time for another of your rants... Oh damn, don't tell me you're drunk again. We just started you in that clean-life program last week!

>>8184133
SPECIES TRAITOR! It's scum like you that produce filth like half-elves! At least Half-Orcs are the product of barbarism! The human's don't give themselves to lesser species!
>>8184081
>>8184125
Then tell me why you fear us? Every great... "hero" of your ilk is cut down by human hands! We rose to the top, and we fought to stay there, grinding monsters beneath our heals!

>>8184142
Something wrong IS always happening in Feytown. That's why it is interesting.

>>8184135
Always a good idea to stay on the good side of a Fey. Well if they have a good side. And depending on how they treat folks on their good side. And well...Fey.

>>8184166
Oh, krek. Look, I went to that thing, but it was nothing but thin, stammering gnolls and two or three dragonborn. I went home and... look, I found a half-bottle of liquid steel under the rug. And it's three years since the pinkskin riot that killed... yeah. I- sorry, okay? It's just... hard.

>>8184189
Damnit boy is the father of all humanity gonna have to slap some sense into you?

I eat one damn fruit. ONE and then BAM I get fucked a million ways to next sunday.

>>8184142
Well, if you're that concenred, carry an iron nail with you near your heart or head, like in a shirt-pocket or tucked in a hat-brim. Tends to ward off some of the more devious fey types who like to cause trouble. Granted, most fey are good as anyone, but the few who tend to have a malicious streak are definitely ones to watch out for.

>>8183518

That...that's not a fay, man. Have you been in a car accident, lately?

Guys, maybe you can help me here...
My girlfriend... isn't human. She wants to meet my parents. My parents... have views about non-humans.
How do I let them know their son isn't into humans?

>>8184200

I cant believe some humans still cling to the old ways of hate and bigotry. take my grandfather for example, when I brought Sessah over for thanksgiving last year, he started looking all over the attic looking for his Vorpal saber he had back from his time stationed in underdark.

By the way this is me and Sessah taken on valentines, I'm saving up for a ring, I want something good but not to extravagant, something in a +2 or +3 variety.

>>8184223
Just tell them, you fucking pussy. What are they going to do, call her names? Ninety percent of the possible species that she belongs to could feed them their own livers.

>>8184206
It's okay man, it's okay. We all miss her, she was a good kid. Just picked the wrong street that day - anyone could've gotten hit by that stray shot. At least she didn't suffer, so that's one thing to consider a minor peace.

Data is required for us to build consesus. We have a query. Why do organics persist in hostility against alternate structural configurations?

>>8184232
>>8184223
SPECIES TRAITORS! ALL OF YOU! How can you lay with such... such filth! It's bestiality! It's vulgar! IT'S WRONG!
Silver Flame protect us, you are all under some thrall! No free-thinking human would stoop to such lows!

>>8184235
It's a halfling.

>>8184252
I'd be a bit more fucking peaceful if the Godforsaken formian-fuckers hadn't decided it might be fun to loot and murder over a tax change enacted by THEIR OWN GOVERNMENT! ...Bahamut help me, I'm out of grog.

>>8184069
Who was hasty with their sharp tongue first? Asshole.

>>8184283
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. LUCKY BOY.

>>8184274
Because each is convinced of their own perfection and believe that any deviation from that form is at best a form of mockery and at worst an abomination. They seek to destroy that which is different simply because it is.

>>8184283
I smell a Pedo! It may be legal, but we all know why you REALLY date them!

>>8184276
Oh yes, and a fine upstanding gentleman like yourself is surely a grand catch. Please. I've scraped more appealing things than you from my hooves after long walks.

>>8184276
>Silver Flame protect us
Oh... one of THOSE types... I see.

perhaps some of you humans could help me. You see recently I kinda fallen for this human but.. well it's kind of embarrassing but you see I kinda accidentally killed him during five different reincarnation cycles. And I'm a bit worried about repeats.

>>8184276
If wanting to fertilize this one's eggs is wrong I don't wanna be right.

>>8184304
But logic dictates that some organic bodies are better suited to some tasks, and some are suited best to others. We are perplexed.

>>8184304
except for those transhumanists. Those fuckers can't wait to ascend to a higher form of existence.

>>8184200
Ah, she's lovely, she bakes these little cakes made out of a Lover's Daydream.
Those are damn good cakes.

why make it a quest. LINKS

>>8184315
And his bitter hate-words weren't a clue already? Silver Flame isn't exactly a group known for their charity work, y'know.

>>8184317
Five? Wow. Once or even twice I could consider an accident, but five? Honey, I'd definitely go see a cleric if I were you, get checked out for curses. Someone's got a major hate-on for one or maybe both of you.

>>8184348
what?

Bearmaul, buddy, what the Pit are you doing with these scrubs? There's a Council of Minotaur Cultural Dominance meeting at 7, and you said you'd bring the snacks this week.

>>8184324
Not everythin' runs by cold logic, I'm afraid. Both humans and mythics alike are definitely in the "irrational" category.

>>8184317
I don't think anyone here is like qualified to help. We could get in real serious trouble if we give you the wrong advice.

>>8184370
>Council of Minotaur Cultural Dominance
SEE?! SEE?! THEY ATTEMPT TO UNDERMINE US! While we sit idle, being "Politically Correct" they seek to destroy us from the inside! I say burn them before they burn us!

for those a little too wierded out by feytown I know this little street where the fey and non-fey is about 50-50. Spent a solid weekend there, completely eliminates the culture shock.

>>8184317
Well just be careful.
Try for love, see how he feels.
He probably doesn't remember!

>>8184350
Well I am technically a sucubus and he was a monk and... Well how was I suppose to know that humans were so frail if they don't eat much. I only meant to push him. You know just being playful. I didn't mean to kill him so many times. hell sometimes I'd just watch him and somehow how some asshole paladin in his vicinity would detect me and have him burned at the stake for being a heretic.

>>8184375
Chill, pinkie, until we get these reforms through we can't legally do -shit- to your society.

>>8184370
Wait a sec, "cultural dominance"? Hang on a second - I thought the meetings were just to help us keep in touch with our ancestral roots, so what's this "dominance" thing about? I don't recall that term coming up before...

>>8184324

Well, logic is not everything. Take u..I mean, take Dragons. Big, scaly, lazy, and magical as hell. If a few of the older ones would stop their plotting games against one another, they would get a LOT done. But, instead, they rather dick about.

>>8184317
You say it like he's going to come back from that.

Protip: Humans don't reincarnate.

Can't we just like... get along you guys? Earth Mother loves ALL her children, regardless of skin., scales, horns, or wings!
Come smoke a peace pipe with me, my man!

>>8184392
Oh - oh right, there are lesser ra- other people here. Uh. Yeah, ancestral roots, cultural legacy, all that. My bad.

.. are you still bringing the Cheetos?

>>8184403
I agree. Complain all you want, at least demons get stuff done. Dragons are only worried about each other.

>>8184389

Rings of fire resistance do wonders. As does dragon scale armor. Uh...might not even have to be full armor, the stuff is a bit odd, sometimes. Might be able to make due with some dragon scale underwear.

>>8184375
Oh shut up before I kick you in the mouth so hard I'll have to use pliers to get your teeth out of my hooves.

>>8184370
Greetings, fellow minotaur-things. I am quite clearly a fellow minotaur-thing, a fact exemplified by my magnificent horns hidden under my dapper-suave hat. I seem to have misplaced my booklet with the plans against the skaven. By the way, the skaven are so stupid, right guys-guys? I sure am lucky I'm not a skaven!

All of you are heathens that will burn.

>>8184389
ugh. now theres a problem. on the upside, he keeps reincarnating right? Then its just a matter of scrying his soul, not easy but theres a few that can do it. Follow the trail until he reincarnates, then snag his new body. (warning: problems may occour, be open to other species/gender results) place em in some location thats a little more tolerant, then use shapeshifting to play mother for a decade and a half (generally). Now the only problem is explaining where mother went. I recommend either a memory editing spell (mind rape is popular) or simply a visions spell keyed to this entire mess.

>>8184409
I would very much like to dispute that.

>>8184276
>Silver Flame
You murdering bastards MY PARENTS DIED IN ONE OF YOUR PURGES! YOU BETTER STAY THE FUCK OUT OF DALLAS, OR ME AND MY PACK WILL FUCKING FIND YOU!

>>8184421
Ergh, alright, fine, but I'm starting to wonder if there's something you're not telling me about these little meeting's you're inviting me to lately.

>>8184425

Demons? Not...not really. They tend to go for the "It's done enough" approach, when two walls and the floor is not there. If you want something done, and you are looking for something from the lower planes, you go devil. Costs a bit more, but they will NEVER try to wiggle out of an agreement.

>>8184445
Well I do have some favors owed to me so I could have him born into some noble family and then it's just a matter of waiting till he grows old enough and then he can just buy off any inquisitor or paladin.

That solves the mother issue and the tolerance issue!

>>8184438
I think this intelligent minotaur is legit. I think you should give him the booklet. After that, I would suggest we have an election to see if this incredibly smart and charismatic minotaur can have a position of leadership in our society, as he is very obviously not a skaven in disguise.

If anyone ever feels like they need a guide for Feytown ask for Sliven and Jerry. I play mahjong with them and they are pretty decent guys.

Just don't be freaked when Jerry talks through his webface.

>>8184476
>>8184438
I don;t know you guys... there's something off about these two... aren't they a bit... short?

̧̲̩ͪ̔́͘͘H̨̭͓̉̆͋̂ͥ̏̈͊͘ě̺̗̦̭̼̪̜͚̰͊ͫ͒ ̧̱̙̩̖̼̺͚̓̇͆̅͂̉͞w̦̼̞͖̋̅̕͞h̴̞͉̰͍̲̖̲̱ͪ͋ͯͪ͜o̷̡͕̍ͬ̒̉̋͋̂̆ͩ

̼̯͉̖̖ ̵̡̭̠̬̲͓ͦ̑̎W̡̨͈͙͖ͨ̓̇ą̶̙̝̙̟͔̹̬̺̓ͥ̇̔̀ͭi̵̫̯̰̩̘̝̮ͣ̃͜͜tͬ͊
̬͎͔͕̗͎͎ͫs̸̬̣͙̫ͪ̌̃̈̿ͅ ̨̰͉̮ͣ̕ͅB̨̤̝̰͚͔̽̓͒̄̎͞ę̴̴͚̙̖̹̯͇̹̒̾̏ͪ̆̋h̷̨̜̹̼̖̺̉̿ͩ͆̇ͥ͞
i̶̤̘͖̰͕ͪ̔ͤ̔̆̾̽̚͜͟n̢̛̺̭͍̫̰̩͙͕̓̔͋͆ḑ̯͙̫̺͋̀̀ ̵͓̞̪̙̗̙̹̻͌̀͛̄̌̊T̴̻͖̹̣ͣͨh̘̱͙͍̳ͦ̔̿̑̓͘è̢͇͖̭̹̭̱͋̅̽ͤ͐̋͜ ̸͎̩̜̙͖͒͂̀̋̓̎͠Ẅ̙̫̝̭͈̂̊̐̒ͥ̀ả̵̙͚͈̹̣̑̚̕l̸̜̦̹̥͚͓͗͛̑ͫ̍̄l
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̭̻͕̬̭͎̺̊͆͑̎͑͛̎Z̰̩̔ͦ̾̒ͅA̛̛̬ͭ̌̀̾̀ͦ̃ͪ͜L͍̯̘͚͍ͨ̂̅̀̚G̢̛̩ͭ͟

>>8184449
Yo, Luca! Chill bro. He ain't worth it. Those cocky fucks are never worth it. Their little organization'll brag themselves into their graves soon enough when some dickless thug pisses off a greater demon or elder dragon by spouting their shit with the wrong folks in earshot. Patience, bro, patience.

>>8184483
Oh I know those guys! I played chess with Sliven over one of my cousin's cakes.
He won, of course, but it was a good match.

>>8184469
its an option. I would question the following though. Are you going for a long term relationship? if yes, adventure with him until he can garner immortality (actual immortality, none of this undead and/or as long as X stuff.) Live happly ever after.

Alternatively, if hes intrested as well, see if the rumor about viral Incubi is true, let him expose himself to it, enjoy.

If your not sure yet and can swing the favors involved, get him incarnated as something long lived, Elves tend to work. Nice 185 year engagement so to speak.

>>8184419
Um, my older sister has a Sharkashier on her phone...

You don't know a dryad called Tari do you?

>>8184485
What are you talking about? They are obviously the epitome of minotaur-ness, and they are very intelligent and unsuspicious.

>>8184485
Relax, dude. They're not fooling anyone. Let them keep going - it's kinda funny in a sorta-pathetic way.

>>8184469

...until you run into the ones that are zelotness incarnated. No, what we need to do is get some proper grafts on him. Stronger bones, improve his muscle structure, better tendons.....I also know someone who knows a few tricks for the heart.

This law office I used to work for had reapers ( grim reapers) that used to do nothing but process serving

kinda funny cause I think the person running the place was a reformed Angel

>>8184500
I've spent 500 years with him even he if doesn't remember any of it. So I'm sure I can enjoy a long lived relationship.

That viral Incubi idea sounds VERY good. I'll have to look into that.

And fuck elves, too snobby for my tastes.
And if that incubi thing doesn't work then I do know ways to get something very close to that.

>>8184494
Next time your in feytown just drop by The Dried Eye. That's where we play mahjong. It's right across from the strip joint in static block 7.

Just don't go in the strip joint unprepared.

>>8184493
Sorry man. Its just that somebody decided it would be hilarious to stick a raw steak in my locker at work. And when I got home, there was a fucking dog bowl with my name on it in front of my door.

>>8184486
Your timing's off, man. The Elder Ancients and their Minions meeting is two dimensions sideways, in the south wing, on Thursday afternoons. Don't feel bad, we get mistakes like that more often than you think - adjusting to non-Euclidean measurements can really fuck with you at first.

>>8184502
You're Tari's sister? Yeah, yeah, I know her. We grow... herbs together. Nothing makes plants grow like you Drayads.
I really envy all of you. So... in tune with nature, man!

>>8184507
Of course they're not fooling anybody. There is obviously no fooling being done at the moment.
Have you considered getting yourself checked in? You seem pretty stressed. You're starting to see things that are not there.

Names Drin Sharnez, human though my name suggests otherwise. I was adopted at the age of 6 to the Sharnez family, none of you know what a hard life is like spending your childhood being raised by an all female Drow family.

My current issue: mother's day is coming up, unlike the last few years I had given her the heads of people she dislikes, but this year I ran out of people my mother wants dead (well at least the ones that are actually kill-able, the Terrasque is about all I got left on the list), what should i get her?

>>8184534
Dude, I'm used to Feytown by now, don't even get second glances from the lamp-posts in Static Number 5 anymore.

>>8184543
Fuck that's a hard one. I assume you have sisters if you grew up in a all drow family. You might want to ask them for some ideas since i haven't dealt with drow in ages.

God damned demons, bunch of asshole hooligans all of them, at least the devils are polite about the whole soul trade

>>8184536
The bowl thing, yeah, I can kinda see why that'd get to you, but why'd the steak rile you up? As I recall, that's how you usually eat it - did they get some really cheap cut or something? I know you used to be really picky over choice cuts back in college, even if it was a bit tough on the ol' student wallet.

>>8184543
right, this is a hard situation for anyone. if you can afford it, get the remains of someone she hates and hire a totaly neutral cleric to ressurect them for her so she can either kill them herself, or watch them killed/torutred to death/mutilated for enjoyment.

>>8184533
really? I would love to hear them! research into this kind of thing is my current anchor of sanity. and if I ever get bored of this existance (ya, right, but hay, in eternity? could happen) having a way out would be plesant. so far coventional polymorphs and assorted decursing has failed. oh well, not like I dont have time.

>>8184543
For a birthday present I sent my drow wife away to this torture chamber for her to have fun with for a couple of months. Then I used the time away to conquer her former homeland, have all the traitors killed and built a nice little monument of her in the center of the capital with the skulls of her enemies laid at the base. Then I blindfolded her, teleported us there and took the blindfold off. she had the happiest look on her face.

You could try that.

>>8184543

Afraid the only drow I know hates most of her own race, and would likely genocide most of them, given half a chance. I know she likes new things she can model grafts after, she's a wonder at flesh work.

....Sorry, sorry. Uh, are drow still big on spiders? Perhaps a big pet, or something? A drider slave?

>>8184276
>>8184449
U mad? MY parents died in one of their purges AND MY PARENTS WERE HUMAN! JUST BECAUSE THEY WERE TRYING TO PROTECT A ELF CHILD FROM YOU BABY-BURNING BASTARDS YOU CALLED THEM RACE-TRAITORS AND KILLED THEM. AND BLAMED THE ELVES! FOR THE LOVE OF HONOUR AND JUSTICE AND JUDGE FUCKING DREDD I WILL HUNT YOU AND ALL LIKE YOU AND PUT YOU TO FIRE AND SWORD! I WILL TAKE FROM YOU ALL HOPE AND FAITH AND LIFE AND MEANING! I WILL DRAIN YOUR RIVERS, SALT YOUR FIELDS, DARKEN YOUR SKIES AND POISON THE VERY AIR YOU BREATHE! AND WHEN THE LAST OF YOU CRAWLS ON THE STUMPS OF HIS ARMS AND LEGS AT MY FEET, BURNT AND BLINDED AND BEGGING FOR MERCY, I WILL CRUSH HIS SKULL WITH MY BOOTS AND I WILL WEEP. NOT FOR HIM. NOT FOR ME. NOT FOR MY DEAD PARENTS. BUT FOR THAT ELF CHILD, WHO COULD HAVE BEEN ANYTHING SHE CHOSE, UNTIL YOU TOOK HER LIFE FROM HER.

So, yeah, I don't like you buggers much.

>>8184582
Yeah, but that's more a romantic lover's gift than something for a mother...

>>8184566
Because I went into a bloody frenzy and got it all over the break room. The boss docked my pay and everything.

They put fucking wolfsbane on it, I swear.

>>8184558

I wasn't even aware demons were IN the soul trade. They always came off as the more wanton destruction types.

>>8184572
Well you see there's this very rare chrono spell that allows you to return the body to a previous state. That means they get back all sensitivity and whatnot. Not sure about memory but I'll have to look into that once I actually figure out how the spell works. Basically once he decides to bond his soul to me I just perform the thing on him and it's like his first time again and again for all eternity.

>>8184596

Hrunngg. Going to have to suggest you cool it, a bit. It's nasty, but, there are people that can help you. Ask around for Orange Queen, she's normally more than happy to help with this sort of thing, or she will get you help.

>>8184597
I am going to have to agree with him on the subject, I got three non blood related sisters who have attempted ...things, fortunately I had memorized their cycle (drow kind of get "anxious" after their period). every now and then I have to use the "I heard a dwarf has been seen in town recently, I'll be working with the neighborhood watch for the next few days," line.

>>8184605
Wolfsb-- fuck, dude, it sounds like it, but they must've really screwed with it for you not to notice the smell - you used to have a killer nose back in the day, man. I still remember that time at summer dance back in our junior year where you figured one of those fratboy ogres was trying to spike the punch from smelling the bottle in his pocket from across the room, and got the teachers on his ass for it. That was pretty cool.

Then again, with the weather lately, I bet even your laser-guided nostrils must be dulled a bit. Guess they counted on that.

>>8184608
That's why they're hooligans, they don't respect the merchandise, they just bash your head in and take it. I tell you, they're just giving a bad name to the whole industry

>>8184608
well thats the thing, some of them are actually pretty smart. sure their first instinct is "MAKE IT BURN!" but the few that do manage to suvive long enough put their intelligence to work. They are as smart as devils you know. Sometime you should look up Ariel always shows up disguised in white. funny story, some idiot thought polymorphing him into an angel would change his outlook on life. it did change his outlook, people started asking him for favors instead of trying to kill him. love his standard bargin "Name a pleasure, one a few. Think well, do take your time, because your soul will be mine the day you die." gives you what you want. Better know what you need. used to play poker with him tell I realized its impossible to outbluff someone whos face is simply a void in a hood.

>>8184538
I just thought she was working late, you know? Should have guessed she'd be um... helping her friends. And the nature thing's not all that. I mean, I love my tree but sometimes it's a real pain in the butt. Not as easy to get out places.

>>8184659

Huh. Live and learn.

>>8184622
The hatred and disgust and malevolence that humans can have for non-humans is NOTHING compared to what humans can, will and have done to each other. So yeah, you people just bring those SilverFlamers to me and I will derive a great deal of satisfaction unravelling their cells and networks and entire organisation in a sweeping bloody tide.

>>8184650
Nah man, the jewelry store down the block caught on fire a couple weeks ago, and a lot of silver melted and shit, and I live downwind. Still haven't fully recovered.

>>8184697

Poor you. Makes me kinda glad my kind doesn't have a metal allergy, with so much silver and iron everywhere... uh, no offense.

>>8184676
Oh no, don't take me wrong. Your sister IS a hard worker, and we mostly hang out on weekends.
What kind of tree are you bound to? I once knew a Dryad who kept her tree in a big flowerpot.
I understand how hard it is to commune with nature in today's high-tech word, but still... I can only imagine how it must feel for you, the sun on your skin, the soil underfoot... I love both those feelings but it must be so much... MORE for your kind.

Don't you bipeds ever get sick of these little scuffles? I mean, really, you go for each other's throats more often than the kobolds in my lair.

Why don't you settle down, maybe loot a township or two together? It really makes friends of enemies, a bit of communal town-looting. You should try it.

>>8184682

Well, if you are instant about taking a more....direct approach, Orange Queen's not going to be of much help. She prefures the more round about ways. Can't really say I blame her. Script Diver might be a bit more up your alley, he gets on with humans, but is more direct. If you are REALLY hard core about this, I..I can see about talking to Ghostwalker. But, if I'm doing that, it's put up time.

Chiiiitit ikitt tikiti chrr -kitiikitchrikit.

>>8184731
Damn it, I don't mind if you speak your own language to your own kind, and anyone else who understands it, but for the love of decency SPEAK COMM0N!

>>8184722
Hey man, I can walk on as many limbs as I damn well please.

we speak common here buddy

>>8184722

Come off it, Nox, unless you really want to stir up trouble. Last time you pulled this crap, you couldn't fly for a year.

>>8184738

>>8184731
Nah, not here. Try Miss Firetongue, room 237 - I think she's got the revised schedule for that workshop.

>>8184743
That was mostly due to having to pass a regiment of knights in fullplate through my majestic colon.

this whole damn thread.

>>8184758
You can understand that? What is that, the language of the Thrikeen?

>>8184753
wait, did you just call my parents inbreeders or give me the recipe to lentil soup?
see, this is why people usually speak common over the internet - you cant ENUNCIATE the chirps and clicks

>>8184770
((this is the best thread on /tg/))

>>8184727
Thank you for your suggestions, Ms. Ca/tg/irl, but I think I'd be happier commiting genocide on my own. If others get invovled it might be considered... um... racist. Speciesist. Whatever. I have nothing against non-humans and I wouldn't want you to be blamed for anything. When a human kills a human, it's murder. When a non-human kills a human, it's War.

[edit] I didn't put a name there and you didn't see it.

>>8184792
I know a little of it - one of my old high-school classmates was fluent, and I picked up a little from him. Dude was just asking where the weekend pottery classes were held. I think.

>>8184766

That, and Big D took offense, and winged you rather bad. You caught him a rather nasty gash across the snout, too, don't get me wrong, but, you don't go toying with one of the Greats favorite citys like that.

>>8184810

You know what it's called when someone pisses a dragon off? Lunch. And, trust me, no name I named would be directly involved. However, each has organizations, and, well, deniable assets that might give you some edge. Or even a push in the right direction. I'm not saying there would be no hoop jumping, there would be. But, you would not be going it alone, and Sliver Flame has some NASTY backers.

>>8184820
You mean Matthias? Best damn Hobgoblin I ever met.

>>8184858
I WORK WITH MATTHIAS!
Best damn Salesman in the company!

>>8184715
Both of us are oaks, but I have a little potted bonsai oak I take to school and out places. Maybe you've seen my sister's sitting around at work somewhere? I don't like potted for too long, but some dryads don't mind.

The nature thing um... It's just something I've grown up with, I don't know what it would feel like without the connection. Maybe sis can explain it better when you guys are relaxing. But you, you can go anywhere! That's gotta be fun.

>>8184864
OH SHIT! Ever been to one of his parties? Fucking hell of a time.

>>8184847
ya, going to back that statement up. Silver Flame is amazingly well equipped. I could swear they have Xanitos planning for them. You want to take them down a few pegs, look for people with the same intrests (lot of people) I suggest the Nine Hells for some serius backup.

>>8184882
OOOOH man, yeah I've been...
Were you there when he hired the Bugbear strippers?

>>8184847
Yeah, ummm, I've... fought a dragon. Once. It was a stalemate. Preparedness is key.

And for the record, no we're not life-long enemies. One, said dragon just need to wait a hundred years and wins, Two, we eventually figured out it was a misunderstanding.

>>8184877
Well... not everywhere. I can manage but... stairs are a real issue for my kind. And I have YET to find a car i can ride comfortable in. At least you're shaped more or less like everything else.
Public bathrooms are not fun...

Oak you say? Strong, powerful, start from such humble origins... And yeah I've seen Oscar around. Is it alright for me to call the tree that?

>>8184886
Glad you guys are the ones working all that out - you couldn't pay me enough to consider jumping into that kinda mess. I mean, they hate nonhumans enough as is, but to them, the only difference between me and a hamburger is I have thumbs and have on more than just a smear of mustard and ketchup. They hate me and probably also want to turn me into a BBQ tailgate party afterwards. No thanks.

>>8184899
ya. People often forget that something nearly or actually immortal has a hard time holding a grudge with, to quote Ariel 'shorties'. "I mean, if you cant count on them to be around 100 years from now when your perfict revenge is ready, whats the point." fun guy for quotes like that.

>>8184793
The first word has three letters, and the last ends with "ik". This would clearly indicate a word in the perfect past tense, but the lack of a dash between the two words combined with the font implies the future future tense.

>>8184927
MMMM hamburg... wait... How DO Minotaur feel about Beef?
Am I eating your cousin?

>>8184895
Nah, we've kinda lost track of each over the years. I do remember when he got three whole kegs of Glomgold's Aged Drwaven Stout. Even me and the troll were down by the fourth pint. Good times.

Anyways, I gotta hit the hay. I'm in enough trouble at work as it is.
(((holy shit, somebody archive this)))

>>8184916
s'alright, I don't mind. Could you like, buy a pickup or something? They have a lot of room.

>>8184899

I'm just saying it's common, what with the living forever, and a few of them own corps, now, so, they get even more into the "I can do anything, I've got cash, and flame breath!" deal. Glad to hear you managed to survive a hostile, not many humans would have been able to. What kind was it? Eastern, feathered serpent, western?

>>8184948
Yeah... when he offers you "Fey-Powder" He's not kidding... I woke up naked screaming at a trashcan...
Well night then.

Anyone else have to deal with a Gelatinous cube palidan that keeps making rounds. the thing always asks if there are any liches to slay. I'm strting to think it thinks I am a lich, which is stupid, since I still have a pulse.

..humm. I remeber something...what was it...I want to say a converted truck, with the top taken off. Might want to try that.

>>8184916
>>8184986

*sigh*

Those two should link.

>>8184946

It's an animal. Resemblances are just a weird coincidence. It can be a bit funky to think about, but by the time all the processing and packaging and such is done, meat's meat. Not like I know that sirloin personally or anything.

Soo... umm...

How do I introduce my arachnid girlfriend to my parents...?
Cuz I really really love her and we've been together through thick and thin now for a while.

>>8184958
Well yeah, I can RIDE in a truck... but I can't DRIVE one. It would be nice to go places more then just a few miles from the house. And I have to slither through whatever people leave lying around, it is almost IMPOSSIBLE to clean gum out of scales. And don't get me started on shedding... it's so embarrassing!
... come to think of it... One time I heard of a story... A Dryad found a way to transform her Tree into a Staff she could carry around with her. With a word it would spring into a full sized Tree and back again.
Is that even possible?

>>8184960
Eastern Heavenly. I suspect he was holding back some, but he'll never admit to it.
We catch up for a drink every couple years. I can't afford any more than that. Small tanker ships are expensive to rent, and expensive to fill.

>>8184974

....what. I ...really? Really?

>>8185005
Dude, is she goona be ok with you postin nudes like that?

>>8185000
It'd be like humans worrying about monkeys who get eaten.

>>8185012
I heard of that, but I imagine the number of protective wards and defense spells needed to make it more-or-less unbreakable (since I would imagine breaking the staff would kill the tree) would make it astoundingly expensive...

>>8185013

Eastarns are a proud bunch, yeah.

.....you know, and I can't belive he did not know this(damnit man), if he can take human shape, he can get drunk by human amounts of beer. It'll take a LOT, but, not nearly as much. I mean, it's a trust thing, as some of the lack of protection(IE, no armor) is a bit...unsettling, but, I'm sure he's got the mojo to make sure someone could not just shoot him, or somethng. Bring it up with him, next time.

>>8185025
Oh snap, wrong picture, I was trying to post the one with us in the park sharing an ice-cream.

>>8185005

Just be up front about it. 's not like you got anything to hide.

>>8185086
Actually, my folks are a bit conservative, and the thing is, she mostly wears what cold me categorized as S&M gear...

>>8185012
Oh, I'm sorry! I forgot about the gas pedal and stuff. I get it.

>>8185033
I think it would be like just as uncomfortable as a pot. But thanks anyway guys.

>>8185012
There are car conversions for humans with no usable legs, they're basically automatic shift and joystick control. It's a lot easier now with so many new cars having centralized computer controls, you could probably get it done for under five grand.

And you dryads need to look into hydroponics and seedless propagation methods, I've heard of one who had taken a twig from her tree and kept it alive in a small portable greenhouse-type arrangement, and it basically became an extension of her tree. And no, I don't know what type of tree.

>>8185066
He knows, I know, I know he knows, he knows I know, that's not the point. Any more often and I'd be imposing, and he's a dragon, why shouldn't he BE a dragon?
Plus he can warm a barrel of sake up in under two seconds.

[edit] there was no name there. again. you're seeing things.

>>8185091

...ah. Ok, well, first off, might want to get a sweater on her, just for the night. Want to ease into that sort of thing. But, even with conservatives, you want to be blunt, hell, sometimes it will make them accept something that if you were not sure in your convictions about, they would lambaste you.

>>8185091
you'd be surprised what sorts of odd things most races get away with by citing "cultural relevance" and people just go along with the idea rather than chance an arguement. Your girl's strappy leather garb might get this same kinda "smile and nod" treatment, if you luck out.

>>8185096
I'm sure I could get Hand-Controls, they would work... but I have a 9 foot tail. Not something that can be stuffed int he glove compartment, right?
And the Modded trucks are so EXPENSIVE... If only they had bars to wrap around on the City Buss...

Bloody Tiamat-bothering preachers at the cave entrance again. I had to eat one before the rest got the idea and scarpered.

>>8184821
Pfft. I knew 'Big' D in highschool, miss, and he was about as Great as your average blue wyrmling. He hooked up with some nasty sorts towards the end of school, started mainlining all -kinds- of alchemical bollocks, just so he would have an edge in the Scaleridge-Tradepeak Jousting Finals. When I knew him, he barely stood as tall as my shoulder.

>>8185131

You would be AMAZED at how many of our k...how many dragons simply forget it. I can understand the feeling, though. Imposing, and all that, what with my own social issues.

>>8185144

And he was president for all of an hour. Funny how the world turns.

>>8185136

That...may or may not work, I had not thought of that. How familiar are they with arachnids?

>>8185141
A conversion van, perhaps? Those tend to be relatively cheap, especially if you buy the van with conversions preinstalled rather than getting it retrofitted onto one you bought without the conversions.

>>8185168
A... van. Huh... never thought of that. I could get one that runs on Bio-Diesel too! And I could paint it all kinds of pretty colors... Thank you!

The Babelfish I am incest.

Conglomerate sage union. Automatically.

>>8185148
Possibly because some do it so innately, it becomes too easy. They forget what they were and simply become what they are.

>>8185141
>>8185168
This could work. Get one with a rollcage, take the driver's seat out, have someone weld a few extra bars across the cage for twining around.

>>8185196
Hey, I understand you!

>>8185131
I'll ask my sister tomorrow, I think she knows about that.

>>8185196
What ARE you?just so I know...

>>8185227
Us.

>>8185195
>>8185211

Exactly. The lamia family across the street when I was young had two vans - a fully customized van built just for them, and one with just the driver and front passenger positions modified, with the remaining seats intact for guests.

>>8185195
And from that day foreword, the most common Lamia vehicle was the VW Van!

>>8185263
Lamia hippies in Kombi vans. This thread has come full circle.

>>8185277
INDEED!
Let us toast to a thread well done!

>>8185279

>>8185306
I'll drink to that!

>>8185306
>>8185277
((cheers all))

anyone for archiving this?

>>8185357
sup/tg/ seems to not be working

>>8185357
its archived

True Fae seem to love me.