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  • File : 1266889422.jpg-(23 KB, 273x463, Mattizard.jpg)
    23 KB Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)20:43 No.8231595  
    Dear /tg/,

    I just wanted to tell you that for the first time in my DMing career, something happened that I've never seen nor heard of, even in all my years of lurking about /tg/.

    One of my PC's attempted suicide.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:45 No.8231617
    >Call of Cthulhu
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)20:45 No.8231625
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 02/22/10(Mon)20:46 No.8231630
    >One of my PC's attempted sucide
    Not really new bro.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:46 No.8231644
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    Best be preparing to give us storytime, nigger. You can't just leave it at that
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:46 No.8231648
    >attempted suicide
    >character considerably more powerful than normal people unable to kill self
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:47 No.8231651
    Okay, this needs more detail to it. Otherwise it just sounds like you're an atrocious DM and the player was just looking for an excuse to stop playin.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:47 No.8231666
    Blackleaf, NO!
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)20:47 No.8231668

    I doubt it is, but to me it was kind of like WHAT.

    Granted, I usually roll in roleplay-heavy games, but for me this was something I'd never seen or dealt with before.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:48 No.8231673
    Yeah, my gaming group just got done mocking one of our pc's for attempting to kill himself with advil. He tried to play it off all cool like he didn't know what we were talking about, but we made sure he knew he was doing it wrong.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:48 No.8231675

    This. Personally, I've noticed how my own characters tend to lose any will to live after I've found myself stuck in a bad, boring campaign.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:48 No.8231679

    It really took 6 replies? I'm disappointed.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:50 No.8231722

    It is surprisingly hard to kill yourself if you don't know what you're doing and make sure to leave nothing up to chance. You're working against your body which is actively trying to NOT DIE, after all.

    That's why overdosing on pills is pretty ineffective, for example. Your stomach goes "wait, what the fuck do you call this shit? BARF THIS UP NOW" unless you specifically take an anti-emetic.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:51 No.8231744
    you can't cou de grace yourself, because if you can attack yourself you can defend yourself
    lol irony.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:52 No.8231759

    Personally, I take the "inject some fucking fun in here" route first. Like, I'm going to be bored if I play things straight so instead I kick down doors, literally spit on important NPC's if I don't just murder them for "being blatantly evil. What? He had a goatee!".
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:53 No.8231773
    Wait wait wait wait...
    Important distinction here, was he trying to kill himself for real or in character? Because I've had a lot of crazy in character suicides.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:53 No.8231782
    You CAN defend yourself, but you can always choose to not defend yourself.
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)20:55 No.8231811

    Well, I suppose, since someone asked. I'm fully prepared for lots of greentext, because I imagine the campaign I joined will invite it willy-nilly.

    Some background: I joined a year-long campaign when I moved to a new city, which was originally just a two-person group. The setting was homebrew, very generic fantasy. Pirate campaign, where the DM, my room mate's girlfriend and her best friend played gay pirate lovers.

    I came in to this campaign playing a forty-something Fighter multiclass Warlord who smoked cigars and didn't take shit from these kids. He spent a lot of time in the ship's healer's room because he constantly ended up getting stabbed or shot by the Bard.

    They eventually end this adventure arc when they find some pirate lord's ancient treasure from a thousand years ago: the only airship in the world. Campaign shifts forward a couple of months to some coastal city.

    The DM had been running a DMPC, the pirate captain, a Rogue. DM tells me that she'd like to take a break from DMing, and the other player whines about not liking DMing, so I say Fuck it, and offer to DM.

    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:55 No.8231825
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    >12 minutes later
    >OP still isn't elaborating
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:56 No.8231832

    I assume he means in real life.

    I game with about 2-3 suicidal people. I should set up a dead pool.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:56 No.8231845
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    >> MR. RAGE !D9l9S8Lio6 02/22/10(Mon)20:57 No.8231855

    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:57 No.8231860
    doesn't make you helpless though XD
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:58 No.8231879
    Then this is something very personal to deal with. I don't know how friendly you are with your players, but I like to think that playing a good game with good friends would be a great emotional healer. You guys have got to be the support group there to help him out.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:58 No.8231887

    Doesn't matter.

    Coup de Grace

    As a full-round action, you can use a melee weapon to deliver a coup de grace to a helpless opponent.


    A helpless character is paralyzed, held, bound, sleeping, unconscious, or otherwise completely at an opponent’s mercy. A helpless target is treated as having a Dexterity of 0 (-5 modifier). Melee attacks against a helpless target get a +4 bonus (equivalent to attacking a prone target). Ranged attacks gets no special bonus against helpless targets. Rogues can sneak attack helpless targets.

    My uncle once fucked up a 3.5 module by pointing out that, in fact, the BBEG couldn't coup de grace his captive to cover his escape, as he was grappling her himself. Plus, he was using a dagger. She'll survive that easily with plenty of time to throw a cure minor.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)20:59 No.8231890
    >gay pirate lovers
    can i join?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:01 No.8231932

    >gay pirate lovers

    Please tell me one was called Seaman Staines.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:01 No.8231934
    >completely at an opponent’s mercy
    I hereby put myself at my own mercy! Farewell cruel world!
    (end scene/character)
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)21:03 No.8231967
    Now, for any of those whom may have played with me in IRC way back when, they know I have a ten-story boner for rule of cool, which was not anywhere in the prior DM's style at all. Except the time my Fighter Charged, Grappled and threw the Bard off the side of the ship. Feels good, man.

    But, for this, since it'd been HARDCORE PIRATE ADVENTURE for like six months for me, I decided to DM a more Small Things and Slice-of-Life for a couple of sessions.

    This resulted in numerous NPCs and a fairly life-like city, in my opinion, that neither of these two players of mine had really ever played in. They were instantly suspicious of an NPC I described in detail, which resulted more than a few Intimidate checks on random passerby that just happened to be looking at the only airship in the world looking at the airship at the docks.

    The Bard went to a tavern to pick up a hot guy to take back to his cabin. But, for me as DM, I was like, no fucking way am I going to roleplay the gaysex. So the Bard meets a quiet man at the tavern who is in possession of a Deck of Many Things.

    So the Bard eventually ends up drawing three cards, I think. Loses all his non-magical items, gains a magical leather armor, and something else that became forgotten within minutes.

    The Bard is Chaotic Selfish, so losing everything made him mentally go FFFFFFFFFF. Afterwards, he ends up pickpocketing the Deck from the man.

    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:04 No.8231977
    >High-level fighter
    *Stab stab stab*
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:07 No.8232033
    >Deck of many things
    >PC's attempted suicide
    >Deck of many things
    well theres your problem, i've had actual players commit suicde over that dumb ass artifact, also, when playing xp by wealth someone drawing full moon with 3 moons and asking for full allowable amount of money will crash a campaign harder than a trojan warrior buttfucking your pc.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:09 No.8232066

    >no way am I going to roleplay the gaysex

    You wouldn't have to; just have a "fade to black" and then fade up on the other lover walking in on his partner with another man. DRAMA.

    Alternatively, give him AIDS. Magic AIDS.
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)21:10 No.8232076
    The next day, he wakes to knocking on his cabin door, which he opens to find a middle-aged wizard flanked by city guards. He introduces himself as a professor at a magical academy in the north that wishes to procure the Deck of Many Things, which it is suspected Bard has, as he is the last person to be seen speaking to the Cardshark, which apparently dropped dead late last night in the tavern.

    Now, for some clarification, I rarely plan. Everything that I had DM'd thus far was off-the-cuff. I had no idea where it came from or where it was going.
    Also, for those who want to know, if any of you exist, my Fighter left the pirate crew and became a carpenter in the city, mostly because of a long-running joke that originated in my first session playing in this group (Fighter Crit'd on kicking a door in. The captain made him build a wardrobe as repayment.) He was hired unknowingly to renovate a shop the captain then bought.

    So after some discussion, the Bard is offered 7500 Platinum pieces. In addition, for some reason, the Bard thought it would be a good idea to make a condition to this exchange: the Wizard must draw three cards as well.
    >> Chicago Ted 02/22/10(Mon)21:12 No.8232107
    This has to be a troll, I mean come on. Heroic sacrifice, or hell, just stalling for time even though it means your death...
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)21:16 No.8232162

    The Wizard agreed, and drew. For fairness, I didn't pick what he drew. I just shuffled and handed the deck to one of my players and drew from there.

    CARD ONE: The Fates.

    CARD TWO: Throne.

    CARD THREE: ... Balance.

    The Bard didn't do any research into the magical item he had stolen, so when nothing bad happened to the Wizard visibly, he huffed, took his money and the Wizard left.

    A couple of days later, the captain hears a passing couple talking about how the city guard has been talking about a rogue wizard from the Institute that raised a tower North of the city and was raising a goblinoid army, which he was using to drag people from small villages and ranches into his tower, bound by chains.

    Just so you know, I had no idea why. I knew barely any more than my PCs.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:18 No.8232193
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    Lantern! It's locos from #hhh if you remember. Good to see you're still playing, and that rule of cool still burns strongly in your heart.


    I like where this is going.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:19 No.8232213

    Wait. You mean the Bard accidentally a BBEG?



    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:20 No.8232219
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    >The Fates

    Hahahah, the bard created the BBEG ?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:21 No.8232235

    How does this end in suicide again?
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)21:27 No.8232318
    So after some arguing, the PCs finally reason that it must be the same Wizard (after some research their local library).

    So, they ride out, rather uncharacteristically in my opinion, to take out this Wizard who they know can avoid any situation of his choice, once, and now has the power of persuasion to do many things, such as command an army of goblinoids. That, and he is evil.

    Evil Wizard? Yeah, I know. When I realized what the PCs had accidentally just handed me, I had to make it the BBEG. So he was.

    On the ride to the Tower, the PCs encounter a small band of goblins, which the easily dispatch. It turns out the the goblins had been raiding local magic shops looking for something. The PCs check their possessions.

    "Fuck," I think. "What the fuck do they find?" Because, like I said, I know barely any more than my players. So I pull out a laptop and jump to Warehouse 23. You find a skull with an indentation on the top of it, and a candle. When the candle is placed in the indent and burned, the wax melts and oozes over the skull. When the candle has burned completely down, the wax-covered sockets of the skull open, revealing eyes. The skull answers any one question before closing its eyes and becoming nothing more than a tacky candleholder.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:30 No.8232381

    the suicide is a mcguffin isn't it... the game is you writing forever and us listening but never knowing who killed laura palmer....
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:33 No.8232417
    You are the PC's.

    Which one of you will snap from waiting first?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:34 No.8232426

    BOB killed Laura.
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)21:35 No.8232437
    So I tell the PCs they find this skull and candle. They figure out it's powerful, but they've got no idea what it does it what it's for.

    They ride closer the the Tower, where they stumble upon an ancient Stonehenge-like landmark. In the cneter of it is a large stone altar, cylindrical, with a fist clutching a sun engraved on it.

    Bard touches it, and it glows, before displaying glowing words in the center of the sun: CAST IN THE NAME OF GOD in Supernal. Yes, the Big O line. Because I love it, and neither of them had ever seen the anime. So, perfect chance to recycle it.

    It was cool. That's the only reason I put it in there. But like everything else, small, relatively meaningless things became an incredibly big deal to the PCs.

    They spend hours saying words and failing to activate whatever this altar is.

    So they move on to the Tower. The Rogue stops outside, hiding in a tree, waiting for nightfall. Don't ask me why. The Bard strolls in and is met with no resistance. He climbs to the top of the Tower, where he finds the Wizard, now with a goatee instead of a beard, sitting at a very nice desk. He tells Bard to please come on up. Whiskey? Cigar?

    So they have a conversation, very polite, very casual. The Wizard pretty much just asks them if they were the ones who intercepted his troops. The Bard attempts to Bluff him, but the Wizard just frowns.

    "I'd imagine that you would think twice about lying to me, sir," responds the Wizard. He then tells Bard he has a deal: the Bard brings him the skull and candle, and the Wizard will leave he and his friend alone. He doesn't wish to be bothered in his path to conquest.

    The Bard then Stealths, drawing out his pistol. Yeah, psuedo-steampunk. Rare bits of it every so often. He then rolls to hit. Bam, natural Crit. Sneak Attack damage and all.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:39 No.8232484
    You don't multiply sneak attack damage

    Just so ya know
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)21:42 No.8232526
    The Fates card turns to ash in the Wizard's hand, the bullet blowing the corner of his chair's back away. The Wizard smiles, shaking his head, erecting some kind of arcane shield around himself.

    "Guess my aim's off," says Bard.

    "Spot on, actually," responds the Wizard.

    So the Bard then agrees to the deal, and goes to find his friend, who had moved in to the Tower behind a returning band of hobgoblins leading a train of slaves. He ends up playing a game of cards with the hobgoblin boss, Throgg, and a few of his subordinates.

    If you guys care to know, the game itself was just Old Maid. But, instead of not wanting the Old Maid, you didn't want the Gay Goblin.

    The Bard meets the Rogue in the middle of this. The Rogue then strikes a deal with Throgg to create a distraction. I don't know what this was supposed to accomplish.

    I should also mention that during the time to Bard was gone with the Wizard, the Rogue had gone back to the city and hired someone to examine the skull.

    So when they finally stormed the top of the Tower, the Wizard looked awfully disappointed. After a failed attack by the Rogue, the Wizard levitated off the Tower, headed towards the city, intent on finding his property.

    The PCs end up hanging around outside the Tower, at the old altar, because they think it is incredibly important.
    >> Balthazarr !!YACVE2VXkux 02/22/10(Mon)21:47 No.8232599
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    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:49 No.8232631
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    i like where this is going
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:50 No.8232634
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    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)21:51 No.8232659
    So Rogue pulls out the candle, confident that it is needed to make the skull do whatever it does, intending to use it as a bargaining chip.

    So they wait around, arguing about what to do, because Bard just wants to give the Wizard what he wants and get the fuck out. Meanwhile, the city begins smoking on the horizon, the Wizard fucking tearing shit up.

    Eventually, my Fighter makes his third appearance since I began DMing (the first being when Rogue, the captain, met him while looking over his newly-obtained shop, which Fighter was now renovating. The second was when he invited the PCs to come fishing with him.)

    Fighter rides up, jumps off his horse, handing Rogue the skull. He tripped over it on his way out of the city. Rogue goes WHAT, then realizes HE HAAAS THE POOOOWER.

    So he lights the candle. Not on the skull, mind you. Just lights it and lets it burn until the black flame leaves barely any wax to melt off. The Bard goes FUCK THIS and tries to take the item. This culminates in a chase, ending with one dead horse and a bulletwound in the Rogue's back.

    Bard rides back to the altar, lighting the small candle atop the skull.

    "WHAT HAPPENS?" screech my players. I shrugs.

    Bard turns to Fighter, begins to say something.

    "You hear a long, shallow exhalation behind you."

    Bard whirls around.
    >> Harker !!FK3LIhfMTAe 02/22/10(Mon)21:53 No.8232693
    Making us wait after that sort of cliffhanger? That's just...sick.
    >> Balthazarr !!YACVE2VXkux 02/22/10(Mon)21:54 No.8232704
    Dude, thats something I would do.You sick fuck.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:54 No.8232705
    > Deck of Many Things

    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)21:56 No.8232734
    The skull stares up at him, with yellowed, pupil-less bloodshot eyes.

    "Asssk your quessstion," it groans.

    Ten minutes later, with out-of-character discussion, the Bard finally asks: "What is the name of god?"

    The skull answers with a word that shakes the Bard's very soul. It's not even a word, but something that the Bard feels isn't just an answer, but an absolute truth.

    The skull closes its eyes, sighing as it returns to its sleep.

    The Bard slams his hand down on the altar.

    CAST IN THE NAME OF GOD, it commands.

    The Bard speaks the truth the skull spoke.

    Remember the engraving? A fist clutching a sun.

    The fist unfurls. The sun rises OUT of the altar, becoming a glowing sphere of brilliant light.

    WHAT IS YOUR WISH? it asks.

    The Bard wishes for the Wizard to drop dead.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:57 No.8232750
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:58 No.8232761
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    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)21:59 No.8232780
    >The skull answers with a word that shakes the Bard's very soul. It's not even a word, but something that the Bard feels isn't just an answer, but an absolute truth.

    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:00 No.8232790
    Goddammit WHO SHOT JR EWING?!
    >> Locos 02/22/10(Mon)22:00 No.8232796
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    yep defintely one of lanterns games
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:01 No.8232801
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    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:01 No.8232802
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    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:02 No.8232814
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    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:02 No.8232820
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    lemme fix that for ya.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:02 No.8232821
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    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:02 No.8232826
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    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:04 No.8232838

    OMG this.

    You could have been a GOD. I know Mormans who would kill for that!
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)22:04 No.8232844

    The sun then flies into the sky, blinking out of sight.

    The Bard stands there in silence, watching the sky.

    "Guess I should get back to work," Fighter announces. He lights a cigarette, mounting his horse. "I'm still on break." He rides off.

    Bard finds Rogue, tries to get him to come back with him back to the city. Rogue just continues walking, wounded, slowly, towards the city. He barely says anything, just walking. Bard eventually gives up and rides to town.

    Just so you know, Rogue thought he was doing the right thing in not using the skull. Then his best friend and lover shot him in the back.

    A day later, he finally makes it back to the city, collapsing in his bed.

    Just a bit more background: when the PCs first arrived, they dealt with an artificer's guild. The Artificer's Association. The AA. One of the members of the AA that made only one appearance, but was a bit of running joke in the group, was Sleepy, a gnome that looked constantly worn and tired. He'd only ever had one line.

    The Rogue was looking for his boss. The tired gnome looked up from his work, then pointed to his boss's office. Off-handedly, Rogue then looked at him and asked, "Don't you ever sleep?"

    The gnome stared at him.

    "Nooo," he said, in a long, groaning rasp.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:06 No.8232872
    I have to agree. It's not what I'd ask from god.

    But I'm amazed at how well OP managed to introduce a deck of many things in his campaign and not destroy it.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:07 No.8232885
    >"Guess I should get back to work,"

    God, is it just me or were we expecting something far more epic than that?

    or, is this gonna be an oshiiii moment?
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)22:07 No.8232897
    Rogue awakes the next morning to a knock on his door. He doesn't answer. Another knock. After a minute, he hears something being slid under his door.

    Finally, he gets up to see what it is.

    It's a letter.

    Rogue picks it up and opens it.

    It's an invitation to a funeral from the head of the AA.

    Sleepy had died.

    The bottom of the letter read:


    My players teared up.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:09 No.8232916

    Any moment now this whole thread is going to go "The Aristocrats"
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)22:09 No.8232920
    With that, the Rogue snapped.

    He walked into his bathing room and slit his wrists with a dagger.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:10 No.8232933
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    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:10 No.8232935

    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:10 No.8232939
    Someone put this on the suptg archives, I'd do it myself, but I'm terrible with tags and summaries and such.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:10 No.8232949
    fucking anticlimax
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)22:11 No.8232953
    That is my story, /tg/.

    And I only DM'd two sessions.
    >> Locos 02/22/10(Mon)22:12 No.8232971
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    wat. I feel like I was trolled.
    I expected the bard to suicide when he realized how much of a screw up he is. Jump off the wizards tower and explode or something

    Instead I get a emo rogue moment.
    Son, I am disappoint.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:13 No.8232981
    Work on your endings.

    Other then that good shit.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:13 No.8232984
    well done Lanterthief, you made an npc the pcs actually care about,
    I still think you should troll him with "you're not helpless you can't cou de grace yourself"
    then let him do it anyway, if a player wants to die, let them die.
    >> MR. RAGE !D9l9S8Lio6 02/22/10(Mon)22:13 No.8232987
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    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:14 No.8233002
    Hm. And you decided that it failed ?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:15 No.8233011
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    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)22:16 No.8233021

    As I said, it was an attempted suicide.

    Fighter came to see how Rogue was doing, as they had become bros during their adventures, knocking on his door. When no response came, the Rogue's cabin door came flying off its hinges. Fighter came just in time to see Rogue collapse, wrists cut.

    Session ended with Rogue waking up in a psuedo-doctor's office place, Bard sobbing beside his bed, Fighter covered in blood in the background.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:16 No.8233027
    Toasting on an epic bread.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:16 No.8233029
    Slitting wrists with a dagger is now the new Bel Air.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:17 No.8233042
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    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:18 No.8233064
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    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:19 No.8233076
    You moron, didn't you learn your lesson? Now you're going to have to make another wardrobe.
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)22:20 No.8233081
    A little more clarifications about out-of-game things:

    When Rogue's player decided her PC was going to kill himself, I went WHAT, as the OP told you gentlemen.

    I talked to the player about, and she said she'd rather not have him die, but he was going to attempt suicide anyway.

    So I had Fighter stroll onto the scene just in time.

    And if anyone wonders what happened to the Wizard? The Bard found his pet python with a familiar lump in its stomach after returning to his cabin.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:20 No.8233091
    That's silly of your player. A rogue would slit his throat, not his wrists.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:20 No.8233093
    So... He entered combat against himself, so if he dies he wins, and if he lives he wins. Does combat experience apply to this situation?
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)22:21 No.8233102

    Fighter's last line of the session was actually "I owe you another wardrobe, son."
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:21 No.8233119
    Remember, he's gay.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:23 No.8233133
    You can only coup-de-grace when they cannot defend against themselves.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:26 No.8233184
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)22:30 No.8233244
    Thanks for a good thread, bros. I do apologize that the ending was a bit pffft.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:31 No.8233256
    Thread was tits.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:32 No.8233276
    That was some cool on the fly DMing but the story was just an anticlimax
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:34 No.8233303
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    >Go afk to take care of laundry
    >Come back
    >Most anticlimactic ending in the history of ever
    >My face
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)22:34 No.8233305

    On one hand, thank you. On the other, again, sorry about that.

    But I couldn't really go DON'T SUICIDE, THEN MY STORY WOULDN'T SATISFY /tg/.

    Honestly, as soon as she told me Rogue was going to kill himself, I thought to myself, "My god. I must tell /tg/ about this game."
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:34 No.8233307
    Also, as a DM myself, I find that it is normal that the players get hookled on totally unimportant shit.
    It seems that anything worth notice is deemed important and/or critical to the storyline, so much that I use it as a distraction and/or cover for sideplots, or just for kicks like "5 warriors are coming at you, all have greatswords, except for one fucker with a fucking scythe" guess what.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:37 No.8233343
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    I lol'd quite heartily to be honest. Good show.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:37 No.8233345
    Everyone attacks the scyth boy, Great Sword Weilder #3 pulls wand of "Fuck your Face" and TPK?
    >> Lifts Her Tail! 02/22/10(Mon)22:37 No.8233353

    You bitch. That was great.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:40 No.8233389
    I had a PC kill his own character with a newly rolled up character, is that in the same vein as PC suicide?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:40 No.8233390
    >my room mate's girlfriend and her best friend played gay pirate lovers.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:41 No.8233395
    Everyone fucking owns the scythe guy, combat ends normally, item-whore mage LEAPS at the scythe like "IM USING DETECT MAGIC AND APPRAISE HOW BADASS IS THIS SCYTHE?" And I calmly reply "Normal."

    About 4 months have passed and sometimes the players still ask me wtf was up with that scythe. I did that just because 5 greatswords would be too cliché, so I jsut went with the stupidest thing a warrior could be using after a club and a sling.
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)22:41 No.8233396
    I had just been throwing adventure hooks around: the Cardshark dying after his deck being stolen, the Institute, the AA, the altar.

    It wasn't until Bard first had a conversation with the Wizard on top of the Tower that my brain went WAIT. I THINK I JUST MADE A PRETTY EPIC ADVENTURE. HOOKS, CONNECT AND COMBINE!

    And, yes, the skull sighed, saying "And I'll form the head."
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:43 No.8233427
    And then I thought this thread could 404 before this kind of thing.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:46 No.8233469
    I've had two different players have their characters attempt suicide. One as a last resort to being inside of a trap, and the other because an outsider turned him into a human-sized, plate-mailed bunny. I managed to argue both out of the situation, but two suicides is still a lot.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:50 No.8233537
    Lantern, you magnificent bastard. Feel like DMing an online campaign again?
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)22:51 No.8233554

    I can always try.

    If you know me, then you know where to go:

    Rizon, #hhh
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:53 No.8233585
    BRB: Voltron
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:54 No.8233608
    I sit in awe of your gloriousness.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)22:58 No.8233642
    I am quite fine with this thread, OP. Keep DMing.
    >> /co//v/ert fa/tg/uy 02/22/10(Mon)22:58 No.8233647
    Shooting yourself in the head with a crossbow doesn't kill you in D&D like it does in real life, your point is?
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)23:01 No.8233673

    Stay easy, bro. I hope to one day return with a story that makes this one look like child's play.
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)23:03 No.8233707
    For all of you guys that were arguing about characters being able to kill themselves and whatnot:

    If you've ever seen me DM or even play, I will throw rules to the wind if it gives the scene a good "cinematism", or if it's just fucking cool.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)23:08 No.8233777

    If this is the case I would like to sign up.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)23:09 No.8233797
    >And if anyone wonders what happened to the Wizard? The Bard found his pet python with a familiar lump in its stomach after returning to his cabin.

    Even if the suicide plot seemed to wrap up anticlimactically, I think this is suitable punchline to end the story on.
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)23:14 No.8233857

    Some more on that:

    Before the PCs had ridden off to adventure!, the Bard bought the Rogue a giant albino python as a gift. The Rogue rejected it, so the Bard kept it as a pet in his cabin.

    It was only talked about for like three minutes.

    When Bard wished for a dead Wizard, I knew exactly how he was going to go out.
    >> /co//v/ert fa/tg/uy 02/22/10(Mon)23:20 No.8233961
    You got lucky to find a group that actually roleplays, Lantern, my players are a bunch of munchkins and Chaotic Stupids.
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)23:23 No.8234024

    Well, let me tell you, bro. I have two groups. Both are incredibly heavy on roleplay. My gay pirates group, and my Classic Adventure group.

    But this was only after six or seven years of DMing a group made of nothing but HURR and DURR.

    I think the most interesting roleplay that group ever had was when the dwarven paladin fell after raping our halfling rogue and the atonement quest that came after.
    >> /co//v/ert fa/tg/uy 02/22/10(Mon)23:26 No.8234064
    >raping our halfling rogue
    Was it LOLRANDUMB rapetiem, or actual roleplaying? Because the only guy in my M&M group who actually takes roleplaying seriously plays a serial rapist with a highly specific powerset that belongs on /d/ as much as /tg/.
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)23:29 No.8234105

    We had joked throughout the entire campaign that Rondo the paladin must be sexually frustrated because he can't make the sexytimes because of religion. It wasn't a very roleplay-heavy group, but I tried to steer the guys there.

    I think Rondo's player decided enough was enough when the party was trapped in a small cage aboard a slaver ship.

    So he raped the halfling rogue.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)23:30 No.8234115
    Oh, hi there.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)23:30 No.8234126
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    paladins fall, the halfling dies
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)23:40 No.8234250

    Soon after they party escaped, the halfling left the party.

    In the following campaign, which was an evil-conquer-the-world-fuck-yeah campaign, the PCs discovered a small ranch where a widowed halfling was raising her quarterling daughter.
    >> /co//v/ert fa/tg/uy 02/22/10(Mon)23:43 No.8234280
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)23:44 No.8234288
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    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)23:45 No.8234298
    FFFF Win. Totally want to play in one of your campaigns now.
    >> /co//v/ert fa/tg/uy 02/22/10(Mon)23:46 No.8234301
    More like three-quarterling. Geddit? Because a half and a... fuck it, you guys know what I mean.
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)23:48 No.8234325

    And I wish I could have a good DM. ):
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)23:50 No.8234335
    The obvious answer is cloning.
    >> Lanternthief 02/22/10(Mon)23:52 No.8234369

    You flatter me, friend. But I don't know if the constant stream of high-fives Lanterns would be giving each other would be fun for the whole group.

    high-fives is interchangeable with handjobs
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)23:56 No.8234420
    this is so fucking awful, i don't even
    >> Anonymous 02/22/10(Mon)23:58 No.8234461
    Then more cloning, so you can be a complete group.
    >> /co//v/ert fa/tg/uy 02/22/10(Mon)23:59 No.8234466
    Isaac Asimov wrote a poem about fucking your clone, you should look it up some time.
    >> Anonymous 02/23/10(Tue)00:01 No.8234513
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    >> Lanternthief 02/23/10(Tue)00:03 No.8234544

    Sorry, bro. I hope you didn't read it all just to come to that conclusion.
    >> Anonymous 02/23/10(Tue)00:07 No.8234617
    This thread made me lol on so many levels. Approve!

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