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    237 KB RSFQ Episode 3! Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)16:26 No.9000339  
    Well, I hope that you all had a nice Easter weekend, because it's time for another (hopefully successful) episode of Retro Sci-Fi Quest!

    When last we left you, you were sitting in a bar located in the mid-decks of the CUH Unshakable, hoping to recruit a new adventurer as your ship refuels and gets fixed up.
    Three men caught your eye:
    1. Man wearing a duster, large hat, and eyepatch

    2. Large, dark-skinned man wearing a sweaty tank top, range-enhancement goggles, and a large ion carbine

    3. A man in an old-model space suit and dome helmet. You can see he is wearing a jetpack and bits of scrap metal have been strapped and welded to his suit as makeshift armor. A mortar gun is on the table in front of him.

    Who will you chat up, brave Captain Dent?

    Parts 1 and 2 of RSFQ are here:
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)16:31 No.9000450
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    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)16:31 No.9000456
    I curse the lack of attractive females around here, and suspect I went into one of *those* bars again. Nevermind that, I approach the large black man in the most heterosexual way managable.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)16:34 No.9000544
    Ah yes, Mr. "Lonely Samefag." The same man who kept my first thread aloft when I thought it had just about died.

    Welcome back.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)16:35 No.9000546
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    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)16:35 No.9000575
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    Reporting for duty, Captain.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)16:38 No.9000630
    Pleasure to have you participating! I tried to continue this quest two other times over the weekend, neither went anywhere. Really goes to show how much I depend on you bold adventurers of /tg/!
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)16:40 No.9000672
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    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)16:42 No.9000702
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    Well I require some semblance of a group decision before progressing the story, /tg/.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)16:42 No.9000717
    So are you waiting for more suggestions?
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)16:45 No.9000774
    Indeed I am. However, if there is no participation, I'll just go with your suggestion to get things moving along.

    Also, I have a plan for how long RSFQ should go on (so as to not overstay my welcome on this pleasant little board). Would you guys like RSFQ to be miniseries, tv season, or marathon in length?
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)16:48 No.9000833
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    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)16:50 No.9000865

    Don't know really, I guess <9 threads or something sounds good. A miniseries. Because quests that grind on and on and on are just annoying, it's impossible for new players to get into them without spending hours of catching up. I think I'd like a series of shorter stand-alone adventures, but with a continuity and the same hero.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)16:52 No.9000913

    One vote miniseries. I also enjoy this idea, because as you mentioned it can be annoying to constantly have to catch up.

    If Captain Dent and his heroic bravado are welcome on /tg/, then I would be happy to bring him back for more adventures in the future.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)16:58 No.9001026
    Well, well. For the sake of getting to the HIGH ADVENTURE and AWESOME, we will go with your suggestion, Lonely Samefag.

    You approach the man at the bar. In his hands he holds two pints of the most putrid and horrible-looking Hygaxian Ale you have ever seen. You ask him his name, and his response is a dismissive look (or what you would assume to be one, if you could see past his goggles) and a sneer.

    "Who wants to know, pretty boy?" He grunts.

    What do? Roll a d20 for speechcraft?
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)17:04 No.9001138
    rolled 10 = 10


    "That's CAPTAIN Pretty Boy to you, lad."
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)17:05 No.9001152
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    Oh well, I'll await a consensus.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)17:06 No.9001164

    This sounds all right.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)17:08 No.9001182

    As I see it, playing rationally is missing the point.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)17:11 No.9001238
    Did you not see the second episode? Thinking with your balls saved your life and got you laid!

    You try to use your rank and now legendary-status to impress the man, but he'll apparently have none of it.

    "I been plyin' these stars for years as a corsair, Captain," he spits the word "Captain" our as if he were mentioning a plague, "and let me tell you, I've come across things much worse than some fuzzy aliens that died like bitches. What makes ya think you can offer me the kind of action my heart yearns for?"
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)17:14 No.9001287
    rolled 3 = 3


    Smiling cunningly, I lean towards him. "My good man, you have no idea of the kind of "action" I can offer you." I reply, completely unaware of how... friendly... it sounds like.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)17:17 No.9001327
    Captain Dent appears to be earning a reputation amongst the bar-goers.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)17:20 No.9001363
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    Will Dent continue to speak with the large man?
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)17:26 No.9001488
    Okay fine.

    You continue to try and convince the man, but your efforts seem to be for naught.

    "Okay listen princess," he barks, "I don't want any of your bullshit, and if you don't fuck off right now, I'm gonna have to stick my gun right up your ass and blow your insides out in front of all these people!"

    He seems very mad.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)17:27 No.9001506
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    rolled 6 = 6

    I dunno, I can go either way. Oh wait, that sounded funny as well.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)17:32 No.9001592
    rolled 11 = 11


    Without my insides, being the amazing leader that I am would be a lot more difficult. Time to back away.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)17:35 No.9001648

    You back down from the man as he laughs at you.

    "Great hero of the CUH, backin' down from some bar scum? Some hero you are!" He laughs heartily at you.

    Well, he seems to be off the list, but there are still the two other adventurers with you. Of course, you can always just leave and crash for the night, or get those yellow crystals checked out.

    What's the plan.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)17:35 No.9001652
    Slow night tonight.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)17:37 No.9001697
    Well it's 5:30 on the eastern seaboard of the US. So the evening hasn't really kicked in yet.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)17:42 No.9001806
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    bump for adventure.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)17:47 No.9001902
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    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)17:49 No.9001937
    Bah, as if we really wanted him on our crew. I get a Venusian Double Banger with lemon to swallow down my pride and then go over to the chap in the duster.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)17:52 No.9001992

    You down your drink and nurse your damaged pride before approaching the vaguely cowboyish man. He looks amazingly out of place in this bar of the future!

    "Ha, nice stunt you pulled there, pal. Name's Dallas. Vincent Dallas to be precise. I assume you're here to boast about your great exploits? Recruit a couple of poor slobs to follow you into the jaws of hell?" He chuckles before taking a sip of an amber drink he had next to him. A flap of his coat falls away to reveal a brace of ornate plasma pistols.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)18:00 No.9002145

    "If by jaws of Hell you mean adventure and fame, then yes, yes I am. The name is Captain Arthur Dent, but you've already heard of me. I gather you have some experience in... adventuring?"
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)18:06 No.9002270
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    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)18:06 No.9002272

    He smiles and laughs again.

    "Well I've spent most my life doing freelance work for various organizations. I'm thinking of retiring soon. The life of an adventurer isn't easy, 'specially not for a merc like me. You, you got CUH funding and all that fancy-pants crap. Listen pal, I'll leave you my suite number. Go ahead and send me a holo-message before you leave this station, and maybe I'll have decided whether or not I want to go with you."

    Seems as though Mr Dallas is a good candidate.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)18:10 No.9002362

    "Sounds like a deal, Mr Dallas. The choice is up to you of course, but I'm looking forward to work with you."
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)18:11 No.9002399

    You are still free to chat up dome-helmet, or just do whatever you want. I can then time-lapse to the following day.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)18:13 No.9002444

    Let's do that, the more the merrier.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)18:19 No.9002577

    You approach the grizzly looking spacefarer. He turns to you, his deep orange helmet obscuring his face behind the glass. A crackling and robotic voice seeps out from a speaker in the front of the suit:
    "Yes? What do you want?" He says. At least you think it's a he.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)18:23 No.9002673
    "Pardon me old boy, but I'm looking for brave, experienced adventurers and you look just the type."
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)18:26 No.9002751

    The metallic voice wheezes out of the box once again:
    "Adventure? Sounds fun. But I won't bow to just any schmuck with some medals. Prove to me that you're worth the effort, bub."

    What do, Cap?
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)18:32 No.9002889
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    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)18:33 No.9002900
    rolled 1 = 1

    "Say, have you ever heard of that time I punched an alien general in the mouth so hard his head exploded and sent shards of skull fragments with such force that it killed ten of his own men? Well, that's just an average day in the life for an adventurer."
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)18:33 No.9002903
    Well, I must go for a bit, but I will be back in a half an hour.

    Stay classy, adventurers of /tg/!
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)18:41 No.9003060
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    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)18:42 No.9003084
    >>rolled 1 = 1

    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)18:48 No.9003203
    See, this is why I need your guys help. I always roll lousily.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)19:00 No.9003419
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    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)19:05 No.9003507
    Indeed you do, my friend. Your hilarious and consistently low rolling is welcome, however. I'll take a million guys rolling ones in this quest over two who roll 20s every time!

    The helmeted warrior laughs, but through the speaker it sounds more like a terminally ill robot.
    "Cute story. But I need something more tangible than a ludicrous story." He cackles.

    You are about to rebuke the spacefarer when suddenly all of the drinks you've been chugging remind you of their presence. Turns out several highly alcoholic drinks mixed with little sleep creates some complications. You projectile vomit all over the floor, some even splashes on the helmeted warrior.
    "Oh that's sick." He says.

    Major Dobson reminds you of the Chieftain's electro-scimitar. That might prove to be a trophy worthy of this man's attention!
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)19:11 No.9003616
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    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)19:16 No.9003712
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    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)19:20 No.9003774
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    I will continue to bump in hopes of getting to the meaty action parts soon.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)19:21 No.9003791
    rolled 2 = 2

    I pull out my massive sword. No, not that one, I mean the electro-scimitar.
    "ludicrous story, eh? Then what about this? Taken from the fresh corpse of the alien king I slew with my own bare hands!"
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)19:23 No.9003829
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)19:23 No.9003843
    Que more terrible rolling, haha.

    "Nice trinket, hero. Anything like this?" he snorts as he pulls an exotic-looking weapon out of the pouch at his side. It is at least three times more glorious than your sword.

    "Well, maybe if I saw your ship, I'd be convinced." He wheezes.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)19:28 No.9003948

    Well then, why not come over to the docking bay and I'll show you the grandest rocket this side of the Sprongax nebula.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)19:34 No.9004059

    "Fine. This bar doesn't really suit me anyway. Far too many... low-caliber tough guys." He turns, almost imperceptibly, to the large man at the bar.

    You head out, Dobson, Carter, and Helmet-man in tow. As you are halfway up the lift to the hangar deck, a massive explosion rocks the entire station. A panicked voice comes in over the speakers, and warning klaxons go off as men in white safety suits scramble about below:

    "Warning! Warning! The Unshakable is under attack! All crew to battle-stations! Prepare to repel boarders! Warning! Any ships docked in hangars A1-D14 should be prepared for takeoff immediately! This is no drill!"

    The warning cuts off as another explosion sends the four of you reeling. Your ship just so happens to be in the repair hangar, away from the docks that are in immediate peril.

    Well, will you investigate or get to your own ship?
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)19:41 No.9004212
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    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)19:45 No.9004278
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    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)19:49 No.9004338
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    Time for action, spacemen!
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)19:50 No.9004366

    Argh, urge for self-perservation is conflicting with lust for adventure. "Pardon me a moment, but it seems I'm needed. Captain Dent to the rescue!"
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)19:53 No.9004418

    "As if I would pass up an opportunity to see you in action, and steal your thunder?" He laughs, "Not a chance, good captain. I'm coming with."

    Dobson chimes in:
    "Sir, I can return to the ship and rally my marines if you'd like, we'll regroup on you asap."

    What is your plan, sir?
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)20:01 No.9004572
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    Ahh, another bump.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)20:04 No.9004612
    It seems adventure just can't leave Captain Dent alone!
    Time to put the new guys to action, gather up your minions... I mean adventurers and tell Dobson to get the ship ready for just in case she's needed.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)20:06 No.9004653
    As you contemplate your next move, a guttural voice chimes in over the intercom:

    "Pathetic and inflexible vertebrates! This is general Voglob of the Jellitar Empire! We have tracked the energy signature of a ship that fired upon one of our expeditionary vessels to this location, along with the signatures of some highly-valuable fuel rocks that are property of our empire! Bring the rocks and captain of the aforementioned vessel to the command deck, or we will begin executing hostages! You have one hour to comply!"
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)20:08 No.9004685

    "Right away, sir." He says as he jogs off in the direction of the ship. Carter and the jetpack man (you still don't know his name) are still with you.

    "Well, I feel sorry for whatever poor sap is responsible for bringing all this trouble to our doorstep!" The warrior says with a malicious cackle.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)20:13 No.9004778
    Gulping Suspiciously... but cracking open a shamelessly wide grin, "Ha! It seems like I have a just found the chance to show you gentleman what you signed up for!"
    Quick equipment check please. Do we have the rocks on hand? How powerful is that Space Cannon anyway?
    Either way ask Space Cowboy how good a shot he is and Iron Lung if his space suit actually works? I got a plan in the works...
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)20:15 No.9004823
    You carry on you:
    The rocks (safely tucked away in your belt)
    The scimitar
    A small blast pistol
    A utility belt full of various useful thingamajigs.

    Carter only has a blast pistol, some courage, and his hook hand.

    "Iron Lung"s space suit most certainly works. He is willing to prove to you just how well.

    Your other, more heavy armaments, are aboard the Ironhearte. Dallas is in his suite. I will assume you'd like to call him up?
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)20:22 No.9004981
    "Attention pathetic creatures of bone and skin! This is General Voglob once again! Ten minutes have now elapsed. Fifty of your human minutes now remain for you to bring the aggressor and fuel rocks to the bridge before we begin to execute hostage!"
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)20:23 No.9005013
    Buzz Dallas the Space Cowboy and tell him to meet the team a little ways before the command deck, we need to think up a plan even if it is just strutting in there and using Carter as a meatshield.
    Anybody else have any ideas to pitch?
    That belt still has the zip line belt right? Ask Fish Bowl if he has any high grade explosives on him. Is the Command deck right next to the bulkhead? Keep up the good work!
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)20:24 No.9005027
    "Well, I'm sure he had his reasons, Mr...?"
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)20:30 No.9005161

    You have a brief conversation with Dallas, appraising him of the situation.

    "Well shoot! Some derned fool brought this mess right to us? Guess ya weren't lying when you said you had a knack for adventure! Okay I'll be waiting outside the door to the bridge. Let's sock it to 'em, pal!" He hoots and disconnects.

    The Zip-Liner 2000 is still in your belt (I'm surprised someone remembered that!).

    "Fish Bowl" remembers to introduce himself:
    "By the way, hero, you can call me M."
    M. says he can spare some rounds from his gun as impromptu explosives.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)20:32 No.9005217

    Okay then M, let's get this party started. Time to pay a little visit to the command deck, we have a delivery to make.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)20:34 No.9005250

    Since it seems like more people are participating, I'll wait a bit for an agreement.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)20:40 No.9005382
    "It has now been twenty minutes, vertebrates!" Voglob screams over the intercom.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)20:41 No.9005400
    I was thinking, Globby probably has the command deck pretty well guarded, we may need a plan B just in case things get hairy. Ask frog-M-an if he could jury rig something strong enough to blow up the hull right next to the bridge. I'm all for strutting and showing how big our vertebrate balls are, but we have a tendency to roll low.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)20:45 No.9005473

    haha, only Lonely Samefag rolls that low. Bravado and beseeching the gods of manly adventure seems to result in really good rolls!

    Anyway, M can spare three rounds of his cannon. Enough to blow a hole through the bulkhead, and the outer hull of the Unshakable.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)20:49 No.9005537
    Perfect, then unless anyone else disagrees I say we meet up with Duster Hat and waltz in there like we own the place!..cus...we actually do...
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)20:50 No.9005554
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    Shall it be so?
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)20:54 No.9005618
    rolled 13 = 13

    The only time we roll good is when we KICK REASON TO THE CURB, so yes. LET'S DO THIS
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)20:54 No.9005622
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)20:59 No.9005703

    Dallas waves you down as you three approach the bulkhead. M slaps a makeshift bundle of explosives to the door, and your crew stands back as the large metal slabs explode inward. The four of you storm the bridge.

    One Jellitar was killed in the explosion, but still, fifteen green beasts, all four feet tall, glare at you. They are translucent green, beady eyes glare with anger at your team, and some semi-solid vital organs drift around in their bodies. Twelve tentacles writhe and squirm about at the bottom of their bodies, and each carries a bulbous energy weapon in one of their hands. A large circular mouth adorned with small teeth dominates the center of their faces.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)21:04 No.9005783
    rolled 4 = 4


    Good evening, Gentlemen. You have exactly five space seconds to get the hell out of here, or you will leave in bottles. One... two...
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:05 No.9005789
    "Do you have the rocks? Are you the one we want, vertebrate?" Voglob croaks.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:05 No.9005805

    They all laugh at you.

    "Even a human should be capable of such basic arithmetic! We outnumber you, fool!" laughs Voglob.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)21:08 No.9005839
    rolled 7 = 7


    "Well... uh... math is for nerds."

    I phase him in the eye.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)21:08 No.9005842
    rolled 2, 3 = 5

    I want to say "Someone say COOLADE!?" But in the interest of Retro Space...
    Keeping the gun firmly pointed at Globby...rolling for intimidation...
    " You pissed off the wrong Space Captain..."
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)21:09 No.9005856
    rolled 14 = 14


    Fuck, this isn't my night.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:11 No.9005897

    Still unfazed, Voglob will not back down.

    You fire a bolt at his eye, but it goes wide and hits a Jellitar soldier behind him.

    "Filthy insolent vertebrate!" He screams, "Open fire, men!"

    The fourteen jelly-men fire their guns at you. Large globs of red energy light up the air.

    Roll for evasion!
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)21:16 No.9006009
    rolled 2 = 2


    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)21:16 No.9006029
    rolled 11 = 11

    I agree with the face guy!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)21:17 No.9006050
    You know what? No. Absolutely disregard my dice roll. I want to see this. *Grabs popcorn*
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:19 No.9006086
    Oh sheesh, a sad day for Dent!

    You and your compatriots roll out of the way, but Dallas is hit in the stomach with a bolt, and M appears to be hit in the head, cracking his helmet! You take a grazing shot to your thigh, and Carter is fine. Dallas is knocked unconscious, but M can still fight, as can you. Carter takes a snapshot at a Jellitar and hits! Thirteen to go, including Voglob.

    "Surrender, pathetic bone-things!"
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)21:21 No.9006116
    rolled 10 = 10

    We should rename this to "Lonely Samefag fails all his rolls Quest"

    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)21:22 No.9006141
    rolled 5 = 5

    Ditto to the charge but roll for trying to clip the zip line onto something solid.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:22 No.9006152

    Those were used to blow the door!

    M Fires with his mortar gun, exploding a flashing console and showering a couple Jellitar with shrapnel and sparks(?). They appear distracted momentarily.

    Quick, do something manly!
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:24 No.9006182

    You draw the Zip-Liner 2000 and try to fire it, but it makes a loud pop, and the cord flops onto the ground. Looks like you forgot to recalibrate it after the first use!
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)21:26 No.9006237
    rolled 9 = 9

    "You know what, screw plans. Okay slamearses, I don't know if you even have reproductive organs, but I'm gonna find out. And then I'll jam them into whetever unpleasant orifice I can find. PUNCH-IN-THE-MOUTH TIME!"
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)21:26 No.9006241
    rolled 19 = 19

    Quickly vault over and between cover trying to score as many snap shots against the General as you can.
    Oh and of course spout off...
    "SHOCKING turn of events eh Voglob!"
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)21:27 No.9006260
    rolled 4 = 4

    FUUUUUUUUCK! It worked last time...
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:30 No.9006329
    Lonely, you better thank the nice man with the 19 there.

    Charging out of cover, you vault the command console and score three vital hits on Voglob! Your first hit reseals as his semi-solid body takes shape again, but your two follow up shots sear holes through one of his six eyes, and one of his solid organs! He screams and goes down, the other Jellitar stop and stare in awe.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)21:31 No.9006347
    Honestly I think it would have been better had I not rolled... We would have REALLY showed the new guys how we roll...
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)21:33 No.9006383
    rolled 17 = 17

    Fire into the ceiling and with your manliest voice shout:

    "Alright Slimys!(?) the game's up...drop your weapons and I might just spare you from doing a tour inside a Jello Cup!
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:36 No.9006427

    "Oh god, he's threatening us!" One jellytrooper shouts.

    "Uh... uh... well Voglob is done! Just do what the big man says!" Chirps another.

    "You damned cowards! There's more of us! Get him!"

    Only two Jellitar have it in them to keep fighting, but their panic shows as their shots go wide of yu and your team.

    With a loud bang one falls over dead, a bolt through his vitals. Seems Dallas is conscious again.

    The other one keeps shooting at you. What do?
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)21:36 No.9006431
    rolled 5 = 5


    "Dallas, now would be a good time to show your skill with those guns of yours".
    I shoot while they are distracted, aiming for the eyeballs.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:37 No.9006452

    There's two of you now, I'll await a consensus
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:40 No.9006510
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    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)21:42 No.9006538

    We all know I will miss anyway.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:43 No.9006550
    Oh bother, I'll just continue:

    Your shots miss the creature, just as his miss you. The two of you exchange harmless blasts, reducing much of the bridge to molten slag riddled with holes. Eventually you both run out of ammo.

    It stands there, eying you. Trying to look intimidating.
    >> dice+1d20 Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)21:45 No.9006587

    Throw the empty gun at it.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:45 No.9006598

    With a proper dice roll, it will be done
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)21:45 No.9006601
    rolled 1 = 1


    Whoops, dice goes in the other field.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)21:46 No.9006609

    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)21:46 No.9006621

    I'd high five, but we'd fail that roll too.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:48 No.9006664

    You hurl the empty blaster with all your might, but to jellyman catches it in his gel-like body and hurls it back at you, hitting you in the eye. You reel back and smack your face into M's helmet, cracking it further and causing you to fall backwards onto the deck.

    The Jellitar laughs at you, and the other creatures ar suddenly not so afraid of you, remembering the guns in their own hands.

    "Surrender now, Human! We have you surrounded!"
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)21:50 No.9006701
    rolled 9 = 9


    Charge the nearest Jelly and steal his gun.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)21:51 No.9006709
    rolled 9 = 9


    Oh, okay.

    I roll for surrendering to the aliens and failing to defeat them. Knowing our luck, I will roll a 20.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:53 No.9006759

    You run at the enemy and try to wrest the gun from its clutches, but it proves to be surprisingly strong and clubs you back.

    "If you do not surrender, we will kill the strangely-dressed human on the floor!" One says in regards to Dallas.

    Will you comply? (No roll needed for giving up)
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)21:53 No.9006766
    rolled 5 = 5


    Pretend to surrender, and then charge the nearest Jelly! This Captain surrenders to no one!
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:54 No.9006773

    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)21:54 No.9006787

    Not with that roll.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)21:57 No.9006818
    Quick! Someone make a roll for sudden Deus Ex Machina! (I'm not kidding, this is campy sci-fi fun, after all!)
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)21:57 No.9006828
    rolled 11 = 11


    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)22:00 No.9006882

    "Into the breach, men!" you hear.

    It's Dobson and the three marines from the Ironhearte! In a blaze, the marines open fire with their blasters, cutting down six of the twelve Jellitar! Unfortunately the effect of their surprise wears off quickly, and the superior numbers of the Jellies cut down two marines. Major Dobson and one other marine fall back and take cover behind the shattered doorway.

    Thankfully they bought you some time, and the Jellitar have shifted focus from you.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)22:04 No.9006934
    rolled 10 = 10


    HOORAY! I sneak up behind one of them and stab him in the back with the scimitar. ZAPPITYSTAB!
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)22:04 No.9006935
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    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)22:06 No.9006964

    Moving quickly, you try to assassinate one of the Jellies. Your attack does not go as planned, but the electrified blade does paralyze the alien. The others turn their attention to you now. Six creatures stare at you, weapons ready.

    Dallas takes another shot, liquifying another jellyman.

    M and Carter take cover and fire impotently.

    You now have your weapon stuck inside this sleeping creature. What do you do?
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)22:09 No.9007013
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    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)22:12 No.9007065
    Now is the time for some goddamned heroics!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)22:13 No.9007084
    rolled 1 = 1


    Take scimitar out of sleeping Jelly, throw it at another! And yell, "Hey Jellies, let's see if you can jam to this!"
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)22:14 No.9007091
    rolled 17 = 17


    I grab the grip of the sword and swing the stunned alien like a club, of course. Ironic!
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)22:15 No.9007108

    Now this is more like it! Seems I'm only allowed one good roll in each thread.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)22:18 No.9007156

    I'll give you guys a break and go with the good roll for once.

    "They say only a diamond can cut a diamond! Let's see if that holds true for you damned aliens!" You shout, hefting the creature over your head and flailing wildly with it. You hit three of the five aliens, sending them splattering on the walls. They are dazed, and must now take a while to reform themselves. The other two shoot at you, but miss.

    Twirling your blade, with the now wailing and wriggling beats atop it, you smack the two monsters so hard they break through the glass of the bridge and smack against the corrugated iron of the deck below, the central chamber.

    Good going, Cap. But three aliens remain (well... four.)
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)22:22 No.9007195
    rolled 19 = 19


    Keep swingin'. Batter up!
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)22:25 No.9007251

    "I didn't know you guys SWINGED that way"
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)22:25 No.9007258

    Seizing the opportunity, you bring your sword down hard on the other three Jellitar soldiers. Pulping them. You them throw the sword up with a flourish, then grab the handle and kick the last Jellitar right off the blade. He screams before landing with a plop next to his two dead compatriots.

    However, the flexing caused by this maneuver seems to have conveniently ripped your shirt, exposing a heaving chest covered in jet black hair, and a pair of rippling biceps.

    An audible gasp seems to escape the mouth of M.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)22:27 No.9007307

    Hm... Saw this coming, but awesome none the less. "M... would you mind removing that helmet for a moment? I like meeting my potential requits face to face."
    Make sure to discretely flex some more.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)22:28 No.9007331
    Roll first please (I have a plan).
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)22:29 No.9007341
    rolled 5 = 5

    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)22:35 No.9007450
    Heheheh... Oh fine, I can't be that mean.

    M does as told. Amazingly, (well, not to those who can spot an obvious cliche) the grizzly Spaceman is actually a Spacewoman!

    "The M stands for Margot. Margot Sanders. That was... impressive. Of course it wasn't until after you floundered about like a moron that you stepped up your game. However, I think I won't have a problem calling you Captain."
    She looks to be in her early thirties. He shoulder length hair is dark brown, and two hazel eyes stare at you with intensity. You spot some minor scars on her left cheek and across the bridge of her nose.

    (That's a big check for "Totally tsundere space-chick")
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)22:41 No.9007545
    "Now, Captain, about those hostages?" Carter speaks up.

    Dobson and the remaining marine enter the bridge, and help up Dallas.

    "Shit, man! That was one whacked-out battle! Never thought I'd meet a man capable of single-handedly bringing down that many aliens!" He groans and clutches his wound.
    "We'll get him to the medbay on the Ironhearte." Dobson says grimly. He also makes a point of dragging the two bodies of his marines with him. He appears to be very distraught.

    So, how about those hostages, /tg/?
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)22:44 No.9007599
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    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)22:45 No.9007632
    rolled 14 = 14


    Lets go free them, I guess.
    >> Lonely Samefag 04/05/10(Mon)22:50 No.9007722
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    Mental Captains Log: Put M on the "To Do List". IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

    It's been fun, but it's almost 5 in the morning here, and I need my sleep. See ya next episode.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)22:51 No.9007743
    After looking around, you find a number of hostages in a closet on the bridge. It appears that the Commander refused to hand his station over to the jellies, and his corpse is huddled in the corner. However, you still saved fourteen people from absolute destruction!

    They tell you that they heard the commotion, and commend you on your witty one-liners. However, there are several hull breaches where Jellitar boarding action is taking place. Apparently the security staff and a few brave Captains have taken up arms against the squishy things.

    What will you do? Leave the Unshakable to burn, or repel the invaders?
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)22:52 No.9007782
    Always a pleasure, dear player.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)22:55 No.9007845

    Get a new gun, then continue on with slaughtering some jellies.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)22:59 No.9007920
    Within twenty minutes you are back on the Ironhearte. Having procured new arms from the armory, you can take a few newer, better guns:
    1. Blaster rifle
    2. Two blast pistols
    3. The Equalizer
    4. Your scimitar
    5. Ion Carbine
    6. Pulse Stick
    7. Lightning Rifle
    8. Slug thrower with underslung lazer bayonet.

    Pick two.
    You may also take as many crewmen as you like, excluding Dallas and your bridge crew. Thankfully you are back to full strength as far as crew goes (more young-blooded redshirts!) and you have forty non-critical crewmen to arm.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)23:04 No.9008002
    Warning, adventurers! RSFQ will be ending in about a half an hour! Let's cram as much manliness and awesome into these last few minutes as possible.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)23:05 No.9008038
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    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)23:13 No.9008217
    For the sake of time we could always just say you grab the Equalizer and Scimitar?
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)23:15 No.9008252
    Oh dear, it seems the thread is just about dead.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)23:22 No.9008377
    Sorry man, I just got back. Expediency it is!
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)23:27 No.9008470

    Grabbing the two tried and true weapons that brought about victory on Galabarr V, you and your regiment of redshirts (mixed with cool important people) head for the nearest breach. M has swapped her mortar gun for the less destructive but more badass slug thrower, and Carter has grabbed a lightning rifle. Dobson has brought out his favorite shotgun, "Anabelle."

    When you arrive the scene is grim. About sixteen security men remain against a good hundred Jellitar troopers, but you notice a fellow Captain, Captain Gallant of the CUH Fearless, supporting the security troops with twenty of his own soldiers.

    What do?
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)23:33 No.9008546
    I have about five more minutes to burn before heading to bed.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)23:36 No.9008576
    rolled 2 = 2

    Rally the men with a ferocious warcry of:
    "Hey! I'M THE HERO HERE, No Slimy is going to stop ME!"
    Then charge towards the biggest knot of enemies with your teammates giving you supporting fire.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)23:37 No.9008596
    ...or...we could call it quits at What do?
    Whichever is funnier. I am imagining the Captain tripping over his own booties.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)23:40 No.9008651
    Oh my... what a pathetic day for the manly Dent.

    Since I'm about off to bed, I'll quickly type this, but it can be retconned in the next episode (the thrilling episode 4!):

    You rally your men, giving Cpt. Gallant a haughty smirk as you charge straight into the thick of the enemy. Your bravery gives them all pause, and you fell a clutch of the Jellitar, but things take an immediate turn for the worst as you slip on a blood of blood and fall face first to the ground.

    On the upside, this kept your head from being melted by the hail of lazer fire.

    On the downside, half your men, including the loyal Major Dobson, are cut down already.

    Dobson clutches his throat and tries to cry for help through the searing hole in his neck. But it is of no use. He collapses on the deck and dies. Nobody notices, but he sheds a single tear in his death throes, lamenting the loss of not only his men, but also the family that he left behind on Earth when he enlisted to serve under you.
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)23:42 No.9008668

    As I said, this can be retconned. A little hilarity immediately countered by an attempt at "srs bsns."
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)23:43 No.9008697
    ...What...what have I done!?
    My duty that's what. Phew as long as I'm okay then we can continue kicking serious ass.

    (Poor Dobby. Retcon or no retcon is up to you. I can keep a secret though.)
    >> Retro Sci-Fi Quest !kPsBfsHSpM 04/05/10(Mon)23:45 No.9008733
    We'll save that for another time, my friend. Than you for being one of the only two people who played tonight. Hopefully Episode 4 will draw more of a crowd, and some better rollers.

    Until then, have a good night, and thank you very much.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/10(Mon)23:45 No.9008738
    Keep up the work and I will be eagerly awaiting the next chance to screw up Dent's day as badly as Lonely can! See ya later.

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