[Return]
Posting mode: Reply
Name
E-mail
Subject
Comment
File
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??


  • File : 1271112032.jpg-(94 KB, 1500x1500, Derpuhpus Known World Map.jpg)
    94 KB Derpuhpus Quest, Part Three ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)18:40 No.9152419  
    Quest time! To make a choice, there has to be a majority vote of at least four. If there's a dice roll needed I'll ask for one. We'll most likely use d4, the first one to roll counts. That's it.
    -
    DERPIN' LIKE THE HERP OF THE HURRDURR

    You are the almighty Father Derpuhpus VI, head of fourty derpuhpi, thirty scorpions and eighty crabs. At the edge of the continental shelf are large, dark shapes floating about. The crabs bring tale of peculiar fish in a quiet cove around the northern coast.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)18:42 No.9152451
         File1271112129.jpg-(206 KB, 1081x1200, Derpuhpi Gonna Derp.jpg)
    206 KB
    Here are your currents stats:

    Derpuhpus (40):
    22 HP
    10' Long
    Cubical Body
    Two Hooked Tentacles (1d4)
    Six Arms
    Serrated Beak (2d4)
    Watertight Skin
    Colour Vision
    Pheromones (Appeasement, Turning, Domination)
    Bioelectricity (Blindsense, Shock 1d4 and Intraspecies Communication)

    Crab (80):
    10 HP
    2' Width
    Invisibility
    Four Pincers
    Six Legs
    Harpoon (1d4)
    Watertight Skin

    Scorpion (30):
    3' Long
    Four Rough Pincers (2d4)
    Six Legs
    Venomous Sting (2d4, Stuns)
    Watertight Skin
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)18:43 No.9152468
    D'oh, links:
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9131274/
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9135028/
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)18:43 No.9152472
    FUCK
    YES
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)18:44 No.9152494
    Go explore cove with strange fish. We need to evolve again before embarking for coconuts.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)18:44 No.9152498
    Last thread, we were debating whether we should check out the huge, dark shapes or go into the cove. Who should we send? How many individuals?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)18:46 No.9152524
    20 Derps with crab helmets, and any scorpions that decide to come along derphunting.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)18:51 No.9152617
         File1271112665.jpg-(31 KB, 800x800, Derpuhpus Mangrove Abode.jpg)
    31 KB
    Here's a map of the mangrove abode, in case anyone wants to see it again.

    Remember, we need a majority vote of at least four to get rolling!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)18:52 No.9152644
    Before we do anything else...

    We HAVE to go "derp". Just to let the world know.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)18:53 No.9152653
    DERP, derp/derp?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)18:53 No.9152670
    >>9152653
    Derp!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)18:54 No.9152681
    MS Paint anon here, standing by.

    Also derp.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)18:54 No.9152684
    >>9152653

    Derp.

    Then fish hunting/diplomacy.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)18:56 No.9152715
         File1271112966.jpg-(407 KB, 2000x1125, snhDERP.jpg)
    407 KB
    >>9152653
    Derpity derp derp, McDerpderp derpus derp derp.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)18:58 No.9152749
    Well, in the last last thread, majority wanted to check out the weird fish, so...

    You take twenty derpuhpi with crab-helms around the northern coast to the cove. The opening is quite narrow and the water quite shallow at only twenty feet deep. Strangest thing is, the cove has walls. Flat slabs of rock, jutting upward above the water's surface.

    Growing in the middle of the cove are five mangroves. Pretty surreal stuff. There's movement at the opposite end of the cove. Tiny movements, darting about.

    What derp?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)18:59 No.9152776
    >>9152749

    Send invisible crabs to explore.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)18:59 No.9152780
    >>9152749
    Approach the movement!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)18:59 No.9152782
    I support the calm cove course of action, those shadows may be coconut monsters and we need all the strength we can get
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)19:01 No.9152821
    >>9152776
    Second.

    Utilize our invisible scouts to their maximum.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:02 No.9152828
    >>9152749
    Approach the movements, this cove shall become our new derp fortress
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:05 No.9152903
    >>9152828
    >derp fortress
    >derp fortress
    >DERP FORTRESS
    This won't end well. We'll all be begging for derpcheese and derpbeer before the season's out.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)19:07 No.9152954
    >Aquatic Derpdorfs

    ...Not sure if want.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:08 No.9152970
    I say just rush em. We have what, 20 derps with us at the cove? Ur-Hagfish didn't stand a chance, neither do these mystery fish.

    BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:09 No.9152992
    >>9152954
    how could you not? Cube headed dorfs with tentacle beards and beaks for mouths
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)19:09 No.9153001
         File1271113776.jpg-(12 KB, 500x500, Herpfish.jpg)
    12 KB
    Oh crap, whatever those shapes are at the cove wall, they picked up the movement of the crabs and are now swimming around our invisible buddies.

    You watch was the weird fish gather around the crabs. There's a dozen of them, and they're simply watching the crabs.

    "Herpa derp, herp herp herp..."

    Will you approach in person now?
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)19:09 No.9153007
    >>9152970
    He took away our Derpzerker attack bro.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)19:10 No.9153025
    >>9152970
    The derpserker attack was way too powerful. Funny as hell, but still.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)19:10 No.9153026
    >>9153001
    Some kind of derpy catfish? Surely they are our natural allies. We approach them with an offer of peace.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:12 No.9153061
    >>9153026
    second
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:12 No.9153062
    >>9153001
    Those herpfish have been spending time on OUR BEACH!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:13 No.9153072
    >>9153026
    Arthropod they are not, nor a mollusk.
    I say slay them and devour those delicious arms.

    Maybe glowing DNA too
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)19:13 No.9153090
    Hmm... It does have legs.

    Inquire about coconuts. If they know of them, see if a deal can be reached as to their distribution.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:14 No.9153105
    Definitely try and talk to them.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:15 No.9153126
    THESE FISH ARE NEITHER MOLLUSK NOR ARTHROPOD, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)19:17 No.9153161
    As you approach, they look at your derpitude in unison, wides widening at the sight. They immediately head for their previous location at full speed, far faster than you can move.

    Their claws catch onto the stone and they vanish onto the surface. However, one is having trouble climbing up, especially as two black tentacles bearing wicked hooks reach down and grab the poor fellow. He struggles, but to no avail as he is lifted out of the water.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:18 No.9153195
    >>9153161
    Wait what..... tentacles other than ours grabbed him?!

    SLAY THEM ALL
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:21 No.9153230
    >>9153195
    Yes, try to attack the flying adversary, brilliant.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)19:22 No.9153248
    Peering out of the water, you see a very strange sight. It's a cephalopod slightly larger than you, only it... flies! It appears swollen with some gas, jet black in colour and covered with glowing blue rings. Its immense eyes are turreted like a chameleon's and it watches you impassively, its unseen beak working at the now-dead herpfish. It floats upward before you can do anything.

    What derp?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:22 No.9153254
    >>9153161
    KNOCK THE FISH OUT OF ITS HOOKS!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:23 No.9153272
    >>9153161
    Save the herpfish!
    QUICKLY!
    AQUATIC COMBINATION!
    DERRPAN-HERPANN!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:23 No.9153276
    >>9153254
    Or not.

    Shit, floatuhpus!

    Let's try to follow the herpfish... or can we not climb the sheer stone walls?
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)19:24 No.9153302
    >>9153276
    You can. They're rough enough to get a grip, and they sit just above the water's surface.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:24 No.9153311
    >>9153276
    Climb the walls and await at the top for the herps and flyderps come back. Eat them both
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)19:26 No.9153343
    >>9153248
    (Bravo on the animal design. A floatuhpus is a cool idea.)

    We've discovered much, I think it's time we went back to our cove and begun preparations to storm the land. The Floatuhpus is probably no threat to us, and if it is, we can handle it easily by puncturing it's gas sacks, or if they're hydrogen, igniting it with an electrical attack.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:26 No.9153349
    >>9153311
    Crabs throw harpoons at them! Pop their gas balloons to bring them down!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:28 No.9153376
    We should climb up and see what we can see.

    Then maybe go back in the water.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:29 No.9153398
    >>9153311
    This, we must gain the floataderp's glowing powers.
    And I suppose flight too
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:29 No.9153409
    >>9153349
    >>9153349
    >>9153349
    >>9153349
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:32 No.9153463
    Explore the mangroves, there might be more derpuhpi.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)19:32 No.9153468
    I am overruled. I change my vote to murder.

    *Sigh.*

    Again.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:34 No.9153504
    >>9153468
    I want to explore, not murder!

    Besides, any enemy of the floatuhpus is probably an ally!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:34 No.9153514
    ...just when I'm going to sleep.

    Fuck.
    Well, at least it'll get archived.
    Hopefully.
    >> Captain Baha 04/12/10(Mon)19:35 No.9153530
    Let us move with all the speed we can muster with our derpacles after those damned Herpfish.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)19:37 No.9153559
    The mangroves behind you are devoid of any animal life. You decide this quiet cove could make a nice home, away from the hagfish and their property value-lowering habits.

    Your group clambers up onto dry land, your arms taking on a cylindrical shapr to bear your boxy weight. The floatuhpus drifts out of range of your harpoons and watches you blankly, one eye on its two peers, their blue rings glowing with a flickering luminosity. The herpfish left some tracks behind them on their rush into the mosses and tree ferns. Peering inland, you see nothing but more tree ferns and mosses. A stream feeds into the cove, following the herpfish's noisome trail perfectly.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:38 No.9153579
    >>9153504
    Herpfish are an inferior fish-based species and must be devoured.
    Floatapus are brethren that must be regretfully eaten for the sake of progress. Perhaps we can kill a stray for their powers and ally the main population of floatapii
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)19:38 No.9153586
    I'm going to try to avoid combat ITT to the best of my ability. Unless you're hunting for meat. Even then, you can always use the cove for a "pastoral" lifestyle.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)19:39 No.9153599
    >>9153559
    NO FUCKING COCONUTS.

    This place is for the birds. Still, I guess it's better than living near those hagfish.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:40 No.9153624
    >>9153559
    Sneaky-sneaky after the herpfish and take them by surprise, feasting upon their arms and incredible speed
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:40 No.9153632
    try and call to the floatapus and try and work out its intentions, possibly ally?
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)19:42 No.9153668
    >>9153632
    You attempt electrical communications, but the trio of floatuhpi seems oblivious. Even waving your tentacles at them does nothing.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)19:42 No.9153685
    We should destroy the Floatuhpus. If we leave it alone it will evolve alongside us and eventually there will be a great war.

    Better to eat their men and use their women as slaves.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:45 No.9153754
         File1271115941.jpg-(80 KB, 1081x1200, floatuhpus.jpg)
    80 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:47 No.9153797
    >>9153754
    But where is our cube head?
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)19:48 No.9153799
    You work your way along the stream, a molluscan elephant-analogue, knocking aside tree ferns and tossing slow-moving land-molluscs aside in your pursuit of the herpfish. Their trail leads southward, past the skeletonized remains of a beach carcass. Eventually you find the trail winding southeast, ending at the edge of a lake. Another stream heads straight towards the coast, emptying itself onto the western coast. The herpfish must have fled into the green murk of the lake. The lake's sandy shore is coated with palm trees. Those palm trees run along the westbound stream's length a considerable distance.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)19:48 No.9153803
    >>9153754
    Changed my mind. Floatuhpus is cute.

    BEFRIEND IT. USE IT AS A VEHICLE.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:49 No.9153821
    >>9153685
    The floatuhpus are brethren, we must unite mollusk and arthropod alike to slay the lesser species of fish, birds and mammals
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)19:49 No.9153840
    >>9153799
    >Palm trees

    HELL YEAH MOTHERFUCKER IT'S COCONUT TIME.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:49 No.9153845
         File1271116197.jpg-(81 KB, 1081x1200, floatuhpus 2.jpg)
    81 KB
    I keep forgetting we're cubes now.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:50 No.9153855
    >>9153799
    Gain herpfish powers, acquire coconuts.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)19:51 No.9153892
    DISREGARD HERPFISH.

    ACQUIRE COCONUTS.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)19:55 No.9153946
    >>9153845
    Also we're ten feet wide, which makes the scale seem a little weird.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:55 No.9153950
    >>9153892
    SLAY HERPFISH

    ACQUIRE COCONUTS

    With hands, we may fashion coconut-based weaponry!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:55 No.9153958
    The floatuhpus obviously considers us an inferior species.

    Make friends with the herpfish, I tell you!
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)19:55 No.9153963
    You lift one of the cocnuts on the ground to your beak to feel it out. Your kin do the same, considering the brown things to be some kind of seed. With loud crunches you crack open the coconuts and drink the oil inside, your radulas rasping away the meat inside.

    SHEER HEAVENLY DERP!

    You begin cracking open one coconut after another, filling your gut with as much as possible. Your crab friends busy themselves with picking at a few dead herpfish on the shore.

    There are a lot of coconuts here. Whatever will you do with them? They're like eggs, so they'll need a place to "hatch"...
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:56 No.9153987
    >>9153946
    We're not ten feet wide; we're ten feet long from the top of our head to the tips of our tentacle-hooks.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:58 No.9154019
    >>9153963
    Dead herpfish?
    Attempt to salvage evolution powers from them!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:59 No.9154033
    >>9153963
    Whatever laid them will surely lay more. That is the way of things.

    Clearly coconuts are better fare than any herpfish. However, the crabs need food too.

    Perhaps we should attempt to find some more floatuhpi and learn their secrets.

    By eating them.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:59 No.9154036
    >>9154019
    second.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)19:59 No.9154039
    >>9153963
    Have the crabs transport coconuts to our new cove palace
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)19:59 No.9154049
    >>9153963
    OH FUCK YES SON.

    WE'RE ABOUT TO INVENT AGRICULTURE.

    Bring the coconuts back to our new cove home. Send the crabs to bring the rest of the family to establish our new homestead.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:02 No.9154112
    We create an agricultural society and our population explodes. We enslave the Floatuhpus to use as mounts.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:03 No.9154134
    >>9154033
    We should eat a stray, gain their powers and form an alliance with the rest of the floatuhpii

    The herpfish should feel the wrath of the mollusk/arthropod alliance
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:04 No.9154154
    >>9154134
    I'm sure the Floatuhpi aren't going to take well to us eating one of their old people.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:06 No.9154193
    >>9154154
    So don't let them find out

    Or find a way to breed with them.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:10 No.9154275
         File1271117457.jpg-(23 KB, 480x271, genki DERP.jpg)
    23 KB
    >>9153963
    HEAVENLY DERP SO BRIGHT
    JUST BELIEVE WHAT'S IN YOUR HEART
    NO BORDER BETWEEN US
    TAKE MY HAND FLY AWAY NOW
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:13 No.9154324
    >>9154193
    IF YOU CAN'T BEAT IT.
    Advicederpuhpus.jpg
    SEDUCE IT.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)20:16 No.9154395
    According to the crabs, the only thing the herpfish have are thick lips meant for frushing coconuts and a healthy dose of the stupid. You taste one and blanch; worthless!

    You carry as many coconuts as you can in your tentacles, and your kin do the same. Your crab allies have run off to bring the news to your mangrove abode. You ram a line of coconuts into the soil right behind the stones surrounding the cove and toss the excess into the cove for later consumption. The floatuhpi have vanished into the wild blue yonder.

    Your derpuhpi and crabs have returned, but with horrible news. The scorpions have all died from some kind of marine fungus that made them spontaneously combust.

    The crabs begin shuddering, and their shells begin to slide off...

    MOLTING TIME! They grow in size to three feet across, granting them 4 extra HP. This brings them up to 14 HP. Translucent as ever, their stalked black eyes glisten as their claws harden into Rough Claws, giving them an attack that does 2d4 damage.

    Roll 1d6 for a random trait:
    1- Spontaneous Combustion
    2- Filterfeeding
    3- Cubical Body Shape
    4- Bioluminescence (Lure)
    5- Size Increase (4', +4 HP)
    6- Turreted Eyes (Attack Two Enemies at Once)
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:18 No.9154425
    rolled 6 = 6

    >>9154395

    please 3
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:18 No.9154445
    I derp the herp.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:19 No.9154452
    >>9154425

    Argh, we could have had our personal living Lego
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)20:19 No.9154457
         File1271117970.png-(507 KB, 940x636, Dad is Watching.png)
    507 KB
    >>9154425
    >History repeats itself
    >> Captain Baha 04/12/10(Mon)20:19 No.9154462
    >>9154452
    There's always next time.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:20 No.9154470
         File1271118012.jpg-(531 KB, 1081x1200, Advice-Derpuhpus-IF-YOU-CANT-B(...).jpg)
    531 KB
    >>9154324

    Someone put AD up on memegenerator yesterday.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:21 No.9154503
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>9154395
    cmon, something good!
    >> Hot derp on derp action 04/12/10(Mon)20:22 No.9154516
         File1271118131.jpg-(53 KB, 534x609, 1271112710657.jpg)
    53 KB
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:22 No.9154528
    Nooo!

    Our lobster legions!

    Well at least our crabs didn't explode for no reason.

    CONTINUE FORTIFYING NEW HOME.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:23 No.9154536
    >>9154395

    >The scorpions have all died
    fffffffffff

    >from some kind of marine fungus that made them spontaneously combust

    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFuuuuuck
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:23 No.9154542
    >>9154516
    I admit it. I lol'd.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:24 No.9154557
    >>9154516
    choking on food here
    >> Hot derp on derp action 04/12/10(Mon)20:25 No.9154577
         File1271118301.jpg-(38 KB, 398x582, 1271116854070.jpg)
    38 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:26 No.9154597
    >>9154577
    Finally, a spambot I can get behind.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:26 No.9154600
    This is how we should fight back against all porn spamming.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:26 No.9154602
    Explore more, I don't think we're big enough to go out to deep water yet.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:26 No.9154606
    >>9154395
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:28 No.9154640
    STAY HOME.

    BUILD CIVILIZATION.

    INVENT BRONZE.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:29 No.9154650
    >>9154602
    I agree. Who knows what kind of giant monsters are lurking out there.

    Let us return to the water, and be wary of fungi.

    Also to make sure those fucking hagfish aren't moving in on our turf.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)20:29 No.9154652
    Their eyes suddenly retract into their bodies and swell up, forming heavily-shielded domes that swivel about independently. This oughta liven up their scribbles a bit!

    Three generations pass as the palm trees grow. The water level in the cove has dropped to about ten feet, and two sections of the cove wall have collapsed, forming two very convenient ramps. Your species has taken to hopping off of the trees, flapping their limbs spastically in hopes of attaining flight.

    Progress is steadily being made in the field of aeroderpamics, despite the incessant crashing. There are now ten males and fourty females of your species, unrelated, of course. You are father Derpuhpus IX. Here are your current stats:

    Derpuhpus:
    22 HP
    10' Long
    Cubical Body
    Two Hooked Tentacles (1d4)
    Six Arms
    Serrated Beak (2d4)
    Watertight Skin
    Colour Vision
    Pheromones (Appeasement, Turning, Domination)
    Bioelectricity (Blindsense, Shock 1d4 and Intraspecies Communication)

    Choose two traits from the following:
    Size (12', +4 HP)
    Crushing Beak (3d4 Damage)
    Nasty Tentacle Hooks (2d4 Damage)
    Bioluminescence (Lure)
    Cartilage Cage Skeleton (+4 HP)
    Bioelectricity (Boil, 3d4 Damage)
    Vision (UV Light)
    Reproduction (Shelled Egg)
    Flight (Hydrogen Gas)
    >> Hot derp on derp action 04/12/10(Mon)20:30 No.9154664
         File1271118625.jpg-(34 KB, 450x600, 1271117925377.jpg)
    34 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:30 No.9154668
    Size & Flight
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:30 No.9154671
    >>9154652
    Biolights and size

    WE MUST OUTGLOW THE FLOATUHPII
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)20:31 No.9154675
    >>9154652
    From here on out, flight will always be available when prompted. You don't have to take it now. And remember the huge dark shapes at the edge of the continental shelf...
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:31 No.9154677
    >>9154652
    size and beak
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:31 No.9154681
    >>9154652
    NASTY HOOKS AND FLIGHT!!!
    >> Protofag 04/12/10(Mon)20:31 No.9154688
    Flight
    Bioluminescence
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:32 No.9154696
    >>9154652
    A bioluminescent skeleton
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:32 No.9154697
    fuxk yeah, flight!
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:32 No.9154699
    >>9154652
    Size and reproduction.

    Hydrogen would make us FAR too vulnerable.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:33 No.9154708
    >>9154652
    size size and SIZE! This is the most important first. As for second I d say Crushing beak or Eggs
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:33 No.9154716
    Size and eggs. Given the lack of other land animals, our eggs will be safer on land.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)20:33 No.9154717
    >>9154699
    It's the only option for flight right now, and the floatuhpi use the same stuff. Also, your bioelectricity wouldn't be able to effect the hydrogen, due to insulated bladders.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:33 No.9154718
    >>9154712
    I was startled at her human face.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:34 No.9154736
    >>Flight (Hydrogen Gas)

    I find this very dangeorus, it could get extremely troublesome when there is harsh weather and a single bad atatk could pop us liek some balloon effectively crippling us.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:34 No.9154737
    >>9154696
    this sounds amazingly horrifying
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:34 No.9154740
    >>9154717
    Still thinking shelled eggs. That frees us from the water, largely.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:35 No.9154745
    Size and eggs.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:36 No.9154756
    Shelled eggs would be pretty sweet.

    Will being full of hydrogen negatively impact our ability to swim?
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)20:36 No.9154757
    I can change it to Flight (Hot Air), if ye like.

    Your species is now twelve feet! You now have 26 HP!
    >> Protofag 04/12/10(Mon)20:36 No.9154760
    wait...
    Bioelectricity (Boil, 3d4 Damage)
    Flight (Hydrogen Gas)
    think about it.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:37 No.9154770
    Biolights, diceroll for light coloring
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:37 No.9154772
    Take the hydrogen, and the bioelectricity, then we can grow flamethrowers and jet engines later.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)20:37 No.9154777
    >>9154760
    Boil only effects the target.
    >>9154756
    You could always deflate.
    >> Hot derp on derp action 04/12/10(Mon)20:37 No.9154783
         File1271119069.jpg-(46 KB, 640x480, 1271118788370.jpg)
    46 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:38 No.9154793
    >>9154777
    Point taken but I still think we would be too fragile
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:39 No.9154798
    >>9154652
    Cartilage Cage Skeleton
    Bioelectricity
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:39 No.9154803
    UV light vision. Shit'll come in handy.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:40 No.9154813
    >>9154757
    How do we heat the air?

    Bioelectricity?

    Sounds energy-greedy.

    SHELLED EGGS FTW.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)20:41 No.9154828
    >>9154793
    Alrighty then. I'll go with the shelled eggs.
    -
    The derpuhpus cove has grown quite able-bodied, as the cove's only oceanic entrance is patrolled by crabs all day and night, and your kin find themselves able to lay their eggs on land, away from water. To safeguard them, you keep them in the tree branches, deep in the shade.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)20:42 No.9154845
    Do you wish to check on your old home? Or delve into the interior in search of new varieties of...

    COCONUT?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:42 No.9154849
    >>9154828
    Now to breed with the floatuhpii!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:43 No.9154863
    >>9154845
    Check out the old pad. See what's shakin.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:43 No.9154869
    >>9154828
    Excellent. With our position established, we may begin sending out scouts.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:44 No.9154875
    Check out old haunts including our monument.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:45 No.9154894
    >>9154875
    Oh shit, we need that monument in our new pad. That is our legacy!
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:45 No.9154901
    >>9154845
    We can selectively breed new Coconut varieties.

    Send scouts out to our old home and see if our crabs newly magnified vision can make sense of the dark shapes in the deep.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)20:46 No.9154907
    >>9154875
    >>9154894
    The monument is sitting well above sea level, in the largest cove mangrove.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:46 No.9154908
         File1271119561.jpg-(170 KB, 1081x1200, nectar of the gods.jpg)
    170 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:47 No.9154922
    Crushing Beak

    And hey, bossman? Can you add options for longer tentacles and making more tentacles as well as damage upgrades? It'd be bitchin' to extend our reach and truly fuck some motha's up as they get mauled by the tentacles, only to get dragged to THE MAW.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:48 No.9154943
    >>9154907
    Well then forget the old place, we need to head inland and mate with the floatuhpii
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:48 No.9154945
    >>9154907
    The shellbeast shell moved from under the tree to on top? DAMN YOU FLOATUPHI!!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:48 No.9154947
    >>9154922
    Aw damn, way too late.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:49 No.9154957
    >>9154945
    I think the sea level is dropping.

    ZOP mentioned something like that last night.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:50 No.9154973
    >>9154957
    But wait why would that put it on the tree? sea level would need to go up then down for that...
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:50 No.9154984
    >>9154945
    see
    >in the largest cove mangrove.
    >cove mangrove.
    >cove

    It's at our new place already, brah
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)20:51 No.9154986
    >>9154945
    No no, it's at the cove, in the largest of the five mangroves. Your kin moved it there so it would catch the sun more easily. The water level in the cove dropped for some peculiar reason. tectonic activity, I dunno.

    >>9154922
    I'll think about it. I have an idea for new traits gained through the derpuhpi's imagination anyway.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:51 No.9154992
    >>9154957
    GOOD THING WE CAN LAND.

    If the sea level is dropping, does that mean it's being locked up in ice caps?
    Maybe we should evolve some insulation.
    >> OH SNIGGITY-SNAP! 04/12/10(Mon)20:52 No.9155000
    The sea level's dropping?

    The world. . . it's getting older. This is a really, really, REALLY young world. Really young. Most sea life is probably BIGASS deepwater ARMORED DINOSAUR FISHES. And squids that'll make you shit yourselves in utter terror. And weirdass things that aren't around anymore. And MEGADERPALODON, FUCK YEAH DERPING THIRTY FOOT SHARK!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:53 No.9155020
    So when will we become Derpuhpus Rex?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:54 No.9155044
    >>9154986
    We head inland after the herpfish lake, in hopes of finding floatuhpii hanging around, doin their thing.

    And bring a massive amount of spears to throw at them
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:55 No.9155064
    >>9155000
    Dude, we're a twelve foot wide, electrically powered, smelly, hook-tentacled LAND DERPUHPUS.

    We ARE the weirdass shit that ain't around no more.

    ...

    FUCK THAT WE GONNA LIVE.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)20:57 No.9155089
         File1271120250.jpg-(18 KB, 500x500, Derpwut.jpg)
    18 KB
    The vision of the crabs is astounding. So you send a few off to the continental shelf to check out the huge, dark shapes looming there. You send another pack inland to find something of interest.

    The group sent to the shelf return a few days later. They scribbled a weird-ass picture of some kind of huge fish.
    >> Hot derp on derp action 04/12/10(Mon)20:58 No.9155104
    >>9155089
    HO-LEE
    SHIT
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:59 No.9155118
    >>9155089
    Why did you draw a dick in the corner?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:59 No.9155123
    >>9154908
    I vote we investigate the dark shape, AND GET MORE COCONUT
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)20:59 No.9155126
    >>9155089
    Ah, A Derp Jaweless Fish.

    Quite threatening, but evolutionarily limited. Keep to the land and the shallows and we'll do just fine.

    SEEK THE FLOATUHPUS AND NEW COCONUT BREEDS.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:59 No.9155127
    >>9155089
    what is that dick scribble in the bottom corner?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)20:59 No.9155128
    >>9155089

    FUCK THAT SHIT, GO INLAND AND TRY TO CAPTURE SOME FLOATY MOTHERFUCKERS.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)21:00 No.9155136
    The inland team returns and brings with them interesting news. Not far to the east there's a river that heads southeast. Massive molluscs lumbers about there, eating the plants and essentially carving a path fueled by hunger through the forest. They were afraid to keep going, due to the constant earthshaking the molluscs were causing.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:00 No.9155139
    >>9155118
    >>9155127
    dickmind
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)21:01 No.9155151
    >>9155136
    I SMELL A POTENTIAL DOMESTIC ANIMAL.

    WE GO TO THE GIANT MOLLUSK SHEEP.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:01 No.9155152
    >>9155089
    IT LOOKS LIKE A GIANT SEA COCONUT LET US EAT IT DERP
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:01 No.9155161
    >>9155136
    Send diplomats, we have ninjas, we had derpzerkers, we need armored units for this army!
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)21:02 No.9155166
         File1271120536.jpg-(19 KB, 412x479, My Friendly Neighbor.jpg)
    19 KB
    >>9155118
    >>9155127

    >Crabs
    >Dicks
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:02 No.9155176
    >>9155136
    Could we also get a new map showing this river, and the river that led to the Herpfish Lake? Or just update the current one please?
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)21:03 No.9155190
    >>9155176
    I'll see what I can do.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)21:05 No.9155226
    >>9155176
    It'll take a while for our uh... "Crab-tographers" (yes we've always had them, shut up.) to draw up a new map.

    In the meantime, ONWARD! TO SNAIL SHEEP!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:05 No.9155230
    >>9155166
    O_O
    >> OH SNIGGITY-SNAP! 04/12/10(Mon)21:06 No.9155233
    >>9155089
    MOTHER FUCKING DUNKLEOSTEUS

    We eat that, odds are we can either get some sort of IRON JAW (thing could bite a BUS in half) or ARMOR PLATING FUCK YEAR!

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15940709/
    The more you know!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:06 No.9155243
    >>9155136
    For wranglin' purposes I suggest Coconut bolas! if we attach a string to it we can maybe rope down some Floaters.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:06 No.9155246
    Make sure this is getting archived, anon!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:06 No.9155250
    >>9155089

    Upon learning this information spontaneously grow larger
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)21:07 No.9155276
    >>9155233
    It would also kill the fuck out of us.

    We domesticate the snails, then when we have evolved more, we fight the Derpfish.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:08 No.9155288
    >>9155226
    I support making them obedient. We haven't even used our domination pheromones yet either!
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)21:08 No.9155303
    >>9155233
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leedsichthys
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:10 No.9155331
    Agreed. Dominate them like cattle.
    >> OH SNIGGITY-SNAP! 04/12/10(Mon)21:12 No.9155379
    God-DAYUMN SON

    >>The extinct creature, which grew 33ft long and weighed up to four tons, was armed with a formidable array of bladed teeth which exerted a pressure of 80,000 pounds per square inch at the tip of its fangs.

    >>A study of the fossilised skull of the fish also revealed that it could open its jaws in one-fiftieth of a second, creating such a strong suction that it would have quickly pulled prey to its mouth.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/prehistoric-fish-had-bite-stronger-than-a-trex-426263.html
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)21:13 No.9155395
    >>9155379
    Stop giving OP ideas, unless they're for US.
    >> OH SNIGGITY-SNAP! 04/12/10(Mon)21:16 No.9155430
    >>9155303
    Oh. Well, at least I judged the size damned well. And anything that can survive a pleiosaur om nom nomming it is pretty badass, and I would like our derpahpus to subscribe to its newsletter (EAT IT OR DOMINATE IT, OR DOMINATE IT TO EAT IT WHILE ITS PACIFIED AND IMMOBILIZED)
    >> Hot derp on derp action 04/12/10(Mon)21:18 No.9155470
         File1271121507.jpg-(15 KB, 492x175, oh hey.jpg)
    15 KB
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)21:18 No.9155475
    Gathering nine of your kind, you each grab a crab-helm and head for this river the crabs spoke of. It's a big river, roaring along towards a waterfall that nothing could hope to survive a fall from. You follow its length and notice how much taller the plants are, how humid the air is and how many uh... things are flying overhead. Little floatuhpis, it seems, different species of hydrogen-filled little turds. They spend their day pollinating flowers and one another in mid-flight.

    They taste sweet, but the popping is rather disconcerting. Eventually you find a trail formed of smashed trees and bushes. The shaking of the ground nearby is rhythmic and increasing in strength.

    One of the giant herbivores stamps into view. Mottled greens and browns, the twenty-foot-tall cephalopod stands tall atop six pillar-like legs, its stalked eyes sweeping about over two very thick tentacles. It has a tree trunk grasped in its right tentacle and it appears to be chewing upon a cycad, its beak hidden under its bulk.
    >> Hot derp on derp action 04/12/10(Mon)21:19 No.9155480
         File1271121542.jpg-(14 KB, 346x241, wut.jpg)
    14 KB
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)21:19 No.9155487
    >>9155475
    Use DOMINATING PHEROMONES.
    >> Hot derp on derp action 04/12/10(Mon)21:20 No.9155491
         File1271121618.jpg-(17 KB, 502x348, mother of god.jpg)
    17 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:20 No.9155492
         File1271121624.jpg-(34 KB, 350x250, Megasquid_2.jpg)
    34 KB
    >>9155475
    oh jesus it's a megasquid
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:20 No.9155495
    >>9155475
    DERPUHPUS! USE DOMINATING PHEROMONES ATTACK, NOW!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:22 No.9155524
    RELEASE DOMINATING DERPOMONES
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:22 No.9155528
    >>9155475
    Activate dominate
    mounts upon mounts upon mounts
    >> OH SNIGGITY-SNAP! 04/12/10(Mon)21:22 No.9155530
    ALL THE DERPAHPI USE DOMINATING PHEROMONES. NOW!
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)21:24 No.9155556
    My it's rather large.

    I christen this species "Derpuhpotomas."
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)21:26 No.9155598
    The brute blinks stupidly as you group shudder, shaking off an invisible fog of pheromones. The brute's simple book lungs take the fog in and purrs at you affectionately. Soon its kin begin to appear, and they too take in the pheromones. They're willing to follow you to anti-derp and back, if need be!

    YOU HAVE ACQUIRED: 1 MALE BRUTE, 5 FEMALE BRUTES

    Do you want to explore the area some more?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:27 No.9155626
    >>9155598

    See if we can't do the same to the floating derpuphi just to get flight.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)21:27 No.9155633
    >>9155598
    Nope! Let the crabs do that, we ride our new herd back home and start breeding them.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:29 No.9155652
    >>9155598
    Climb atop the brutes as our steeds and head upstream along the riverbank. Perhaps we can find some more species to improve ourselves with
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:30 No.9155675
    >>9155652
    Scratch that. Send crabs upstream and bring brutes home for breeding
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)21:31 No.9155688
    >>9155626
    Their form of flight is the same as what you could possibly get: hydrogen gas. And you can't breed with them or the derpuhpotami. They're just too different.

    At least for now...
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)21:31 No.9155699
    >>9155688
    Sorry, thought you meant mating.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:31 No.9155705
         File1271122314.jpg-(92 KB, 1081x1200, derpuhpotami.jpg)
    92 KB
    >> OH SNIGGITY-SNAP! 04/12/10(Mon)21:32 No.9155710
    Let's explore. If we can find some more critters to dominate and some combat to make so we can evolve and any more ways we can HERP our DERP as hard as can possibly be herped, then we are a successful bunch of derpahpi!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:34 No.9155743
    >>9155710

    Agreed! We need to evolve either by eating others or kicking ass and then eating others!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:37 No.9155797
    Hey, uh, OP? After this thread, I wouldn't mind if you took a snack break. Then, I could drive home. Just don't want to miss a bit.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:37 No.9155805
    Send crabs to recon
    Take derpuhpotami home to breed
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)21:38 No.9155809
    >>9155797
    Okay. I'll archive this on sup-tg eventually, just in case.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:38 No.9155815
    >>9155809
    Awesome, thanks.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:39 No.9155846
         File1271122786.jpg-(73 KB, 548x432, yar15.jpg)
    73 KB
    I fucking love this!
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)21:41 No.9155880
    The crabs, elated that the local derpuhpotami have been befriended, have decided to continue their surveying, allowing you to head home with your new pack animals.

    Once you return home, the huge derps are allowed to roam around the cove, eating whatever coconuts they want. They won't leave, not with the NECTAR OF THE GODS laying all about.

    You notice a floatuhpus drifting towards the kelp forest. What derp?
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)21:43 No.9155898
    >>9155880
    Greet the Floatuhpus and inquire as to it's status.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:45 No.9155924
    >>9155880
    Derp it.
    Whatever that entails.
    >> Protofag 04/12/10(Mon)21:45 No.9155930
    >>9155880
    kill it and take its stuff!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:46 No.9155944
    >>9155924
    Agreed.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:46 No.9155954
    >>9155880
    Kill that fucker. Eat his hydrogen bladder.

    SPREAD OUR PHEROMONES FAR AND WIDE

    LIKE DERPING CROPDUSTERS

    CROPDERPTERS
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:46 No.9155955
    >>9155880
    Attempt pheromones, appeasement
    if that doesnt work, domination
    if that doesnt work, throw spears at it
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:47 No.9155975
    Waidaminnit... we have a bioelectrical intraspecies communication.

    I know ZOP said we can't breed with the floatuhpi, but can we speak with them as like kin?
    >> Protofag 04/12/10(Mon)21:48 No.9155999
    >>9155954
    >CROPDERPTERS
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:50 No.9156027
    >>9155880
    acquire hydrogen bladder evolve a flamethrower.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:51 No.9156036
    >>9156027
    We will terrorize the peasantry as the Derpgon
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)21:56 No.9156114
    >>9156036
    DERPDOOORRR


    DERPDOOORRR!

    DERPDOR WAS A MAN.

    I MEAN. HE WAS A DERPGON.

    OR MAYBE HE WAS JUST A DERPUHPUS.

    BUT HE WAS STILL DERPDOOOOORRR!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:57 No.9156124
    >>9155924

    NO NO NO

    derping it will make matter worse.

    I say we should herp it
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)21:57 No.9156125
    If ZOP is still waiting for a fourth vote, I say pheromones first and devouring second.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)21:58 No.9156129
    You give chase, two of your friends close behind. Jetting through the water, you pass by a gang of hagfish high on kelp trying to mate with a rock. The floatpuhpus has noticed you, but hasn't stopped yet. The winds blow him suddenly towards the stromatolite maze, which you easily turn towards.

    The maze is a hagfish ghetto now, even at high tide. With the scorpion gangs gone, they go about eating whatever dead thing floats in, squabbling over fermented kelp bits and hitting on anything with a hole.

    You clamber up onto a stromatolite and watch as the floatuhpus stops on the still air. His rings flash blue, green, yellow and back as he studies you. This one is positively *massive*, easily the size of a derpuhpotamus.

    And apparently just as stupid. Any attempt at communication fails, no matter how basic. A yellow crab clambers up under the airborne mollusc. For whatever reason, this catches the floatuhpus' attention and he flips it over idly with a tentacle. It flips back over with a loud click, waving its pincers at him. He flips it on its back a second time. It flips back onto its feet, the click slightly louder and higher-pitched. The ebony titan flips it a third time. Third time again, the click is even louder and higher in pitch.

    He flips it a fourth time. This time, the crab fucking explodes in the floatuhpus' direction, shattering the stromatolite underneath and tearing a hole in the floatuhpus' flesh with a flaming shard of chitin.

    The blaze launches the glowing brute through the air like a fiery balloon. Flipping to and fro, it loops through the air and eventually makes its way towards one of the dark shapes in the darker waters.

    KA-BOOSH!

    A mushroom cloud wafts ever upward, launching a huge filterfeeding fish over the maze and towards the land.
    >> Hot derp on derp action 04/12/10(Mon)22:01 No.9156182
    >>9156129
    Can we use these things as TACTICAL DERP NUKES?
    >> OH SNIGGITY-SNAP! 04/12/10(Mon)22:01 No.9156187
    >>9156129
    . . . What the HERPING DERP?!

    PURSUE! EVERYONE PURSUE! CHARGE THE DEPTHS FOR ALL THAT IS DERP AND HERP! CHAAARGE!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:01 No.9156190
    >>9156129
    ok we definitely don't want hydrogen bladders
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:02 No.9156203
         File1271124130.jpg-(145 KB, 797x1064, dapvvglktmsrpdxq.jpg)
    145 KB
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)22:02 No.9156205
    >>9156129
    FFFFUUUUCK YESSSS


    EAT IT'S FLESH FOR AWESOME POWERS.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:02 No.9156206
    >>9156129

    Aw shit pyrocrabs

    also floatuhpus' gaze of uncaring is actually a cow-like stare of stupidity. Good to know.
    >> OH SNIGGITY-SNAP! 04/12/10(Mon)22:04 No.9156244
    >>9156190
    God yes we want hydrogen bladders! Just evolve armor of some kind around them, then you have:
    Kamikaze derps
    Firebreathing derps
    Jet-propelled fire-farting derps
    Party favor derps

    The list goes on and on!
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:04 No.9156247
    >>9156203
    HDODA WHY ARE THERE NO HERPFISH IN THAT PICTURE
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)22:05 No.9156269
    Roll 1d4 to see where the giant fish lands:
    1- Herpfish Lake
    2- Derpuhpotamus Range
    3- Mysterious Fields
    4- Warped Canyon
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:06 No.9156279
    rolled 4 = 4

    rollan
    >> OH SNIGGITY-SNAP! 04/12/10(Mon)22:06 No.9156287
    rolled 4 = 4

    Gotcha bossman.
    >> Hot derp on derp action 04/12/10(Mon)22:06 No.9156290
         File1271124418.jpg-(151 KB, 797x1064, 1271124130810.jpg)
    151 KB
    >> OH SNIGGITY-SNAP! 04/12/10(Mon)22:07 No.9156311
    WARPED CANYON IT IS!
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)22:08 No.9156326
    >>9156269
    >Warped Canyon

    OH GOD DAEMON DERPS
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:08 No.9156331
    >>9156290

    OH GOD, THE FACE.

    DERPUHPUS CONFIRMED FOR BUKKAKE.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)22:09 No.9156358
    The colossal fish flips through the air and bounces off the ground as it goes, launching flora and fauna skyward as it leaves an obvious trail of destruction in its wake. You notice it disappears in the direction of a peculiar place. There, stars seem to fall all the time, even during the day! You've never noticed it until now, but you think you might be able to reach that place.

    Until then you head back to the cove and hope the crab team finishes their survey.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)22:10 No.9156373
    >>9156358
    We make sure our home is undamaged, and dispatch foragers to pick up anything useful left by the fish's path of destruction.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)22:13 No.9156418
    Derpy bump
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:14 No.9156449
    >>9156373
    Agreed.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)22:19 No.9156522
    Live damn you.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:19 No.9156536
    >>9156373
    this
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)22:20 No.9156548
    Sorry, I was working on the map. Crude as it is. Is the thread autosaging? I've got noko in the e-mail field, so I can't tell.
    >> Hot derp on derp action 04/12/10(Mon)22:21 No.9156556
    I am sorry, I can only work as fast as the spambot and the allied drawderp. A bump is all I have for you.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)22:21 No.9156563
    I don't think so, it's probably just being shoved off by shitty threads.

    Might be though.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:23 No.9156594
    >>9156563

    she's 250+
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)22:24 No.9156608
    >>9156594
    Autosage is 300 now.

    So we've got a little bit left in us.
    >> OH SNIGGITY-SNAP! 04/12/10(Mon)22:25 No.9156630
    Not autosaging, autosage is now at 300 I believe.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:26 No.9156640
    >>9156358

    Examine falling star territory.

    Consume stars.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:26 No.9156649
    Can our underlings derp?
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)22:26 No.9156655
    >>9156640
    EAT THE STARS
    Advicederp.jpg
    BECOME C'TAN.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:26 No.9156658
    >>9156649

    They herp while we derp
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:27 No.9156674
         File1271125663.jpg-(103 KB, 1081x1200, derpblooey.jpg)
    103 KB
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)22:29 No.9156709
         File1271125757.jpg-(48 KB, 1380x759, Derpuhpus Known World Map.jpg)
    48 KB
    Here's a new world map. Mostly here-be-dragons, but whatev.
    -
    The cove is safe and sound. The cove is also abuzz with gossip regarding the flying fish. Their electrical chatter is music to you, as they want to find the source as much as you do!

    However, one of the older males is a conservative little turd and doesn't want to risk traveling so far to a place where stars seem to fall nonstop. The crabs look to you, as do the various lesser harems.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)22:29 No.9156721
    >>9156649
    Yes. Tiny, pincer-clacking derps.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:31 No.9156757
         File1271125869.jpg-(546 KB, 1081x1200, Advice-Derpuhpus-ALL-THE-STARS(...).jpg)
    546 KB
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)22:34 No.9156813
    I'll archive this now, just to be safe. Want me to start a new thread?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:34 No.9156820
    >>9156709
    We didn't get to be king of Derpuhpus Cove by being a race of cowards.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)22:34 No.9156821
    >>9156709
    If we disregard the conservative's opinions he may foment a rebellion.

    Ask his advice and reach a compromise.
    >> MS Paint anon 04/12/10(Mon)22:35 No.9156836
    >>9156813
    Yes please.

    ...but I have to go to bed in a half-hour, so I guess my opinion isn't valid.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:36 No.9156853
    >>9156709
    Slay the rebellious bastard to ensure our rule.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:37 No.9156883
    >>9156821

    Or we could kill him and consume what weak womanly courage he has into a superior specimen.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:37 No.9156884
    >>9156709
    Ask advice see if he makes valid points if he does not then we slay
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)22:39 No.9156927
    We should reach a stopping point, then new thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:40 No.9156941
    >>9156884
    We must slay him and then ask him questions
    >> Hot derp on derp action 04/12/10(Mon)22:41 No.9156973
    >>9156709
    Then put him in charge of fortifying our home.
    As a long term project, I'd like to transform areas 1 through 6 into a sort of city/freeway system. The river is perfect for transporting food and such, and we're faster swimming anyway. This way, we can have a bigger base of operations to fall back on in the case of our expansions going awry.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)22:42 No.9156996
    >>9156973
    This.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:42 No.9157003
    >>9156973
    What this anon said.
    >> OH SNIGGITY-SNAP! 04/12/10(Mon)22:43 No.9157016
    >>9156973
    Good lord, this makes sense.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:46 No.9157084
    >>9156973

    I still say we should eat him.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:47 No.9157093
    >>9156973
    And come home to a place run and most likely decended from some usurper? It would be like the illiad but without the wife who says noe.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:47 No.9157110
    Illian-odyssey sorry meant to say both.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:48 No.9157135
    >>9157110
    >>9157093
    Derp Illiad-Odessey
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)22:50 No.9157160
    >>9157135
    >Illithid Oddysey.

    Heh.
    >> Hot derp on derp action 04/12/10(Mon)22:50 No.9157170
         File1271127027.jpg-(228 KB, 500x375, 2439771466_7f9f180cc5.jpg)
    228 KB
    Did any of our scorpion bros survive the spores?
    I'm thinking we keep making them eat the spores until they can control spontaneous combustion trait. Then we feed them the flying derpuhpi, and have them evolve the hydrogen bladders. Then, we will do this:
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:50 No.9157178
    I hate political intrigues. Settle it with a duel. We don't have time for this shit.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:51 No.9157194
    have we thought about selectively breeding the crabs yet?
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:51 No.9157201
    >>9157170
    They weren't eating the spores; the mold was consuming *them*.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)22:51 No.9157202
    >>9156927
    Works for me.
    -
    You confront the old codger in front of everyone. He snaps his beak at you and motions in the direction of the falling stars. He thinks the Warped Canyon is too strange and will lead to death. You decide to leave him in charge of derping up the cove derpfenses, as he has the best woodderping skills of anyone there. You tell him your expederption won't be a costly affair. Pleased with this situation, he still warns you to be careful.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:51 No.9157204
    >>9157170

    We need more vespene gas.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:52 No.9157224
         File1271127170.jpg-(81 KB, 449x578, ma-i.jpg)
    81 KB
    >>9157160
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:53 No.9157229
    >>9157202

    Why did woodderping make me chuckle?
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)22:53 No.9157231
    Archiving now.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:53 No.9157244
    I only came to /tg/ recently, because I noticed /v/ was faggots. I love it here. You guys are fantastic.
    >> Alpharius 04/12/10(Mon)22:54 No.9157255
    >>9157229
    It is a funny word.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:54 No.9157262
    >>9157229
    I dunno, but expederption is what got me.
    >> Anonymous 04/12/10(Mon)22:54 No.9157264
    >>9157202
    I SEE YOUR BLADE, BRUTUS. YOUR DAGGER SHALL NOT KNOW MY FLESH.
    >> ZOP !!ZxckQgjnQqy 04/12/10(Mon)22:58 No.9157345
    >>9157328
    >>9157328
    >>9157328
    >>9157328
    >>9157328

    NEW THREAD HERE, HURRY, DERP LIKE HELL



    [Return]
    Delete Post [File Only]
    Password
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]