>>9344565
Hope there are no squid or octopus nearby.

Scuttle around. Find a whale drop and feed on it. Also eat all the smaller crabs.

>>9344565
Grab a Pistol Shrimp, tear off his dakka-claw, and replace one of ours with it.

Then find a Mantis Shrimp, stun him with our new claw's CAVITATION BUBBLE, then rip off one of his claws, and replace our other claw with it.

Find some crab bitches to bang.

>>9344596
This.
We shall reign over the bottom of the sea.
And no damn tentacle'd creature shall ever threaten us again.

Avoid Claw Shrimp. Avoid them like the plague.

>>9344582
There are no predators about for the time being

>>9344585
You locate a large whale drop and begin to feed upon it. Some smaller crabs move in on your find, but you scare them away when you grasp one in your claws and eat him

wait, fifteen feet not including legs?

I AM KRAKEN OF THE DEEP! TIME TO DEVOUR AND GET BIGGER!

>>9344596
It's not a dakka-claw.

Pistol shrimp have claws that are more like 40k plasma pistols. Their shots burn as hot as the sun.

>>9344632
The Kraken is a giant squid or octopus, our natural enemy.

>>9344617
I approve of this. Also strap a mantis shrimp to our other claw.
>>9344634
How would that not be dakka-klaw?

>>9344596
DO THIS

FIND A PISTOL SHRIMP

>>9344596
>>9344617
>>9344634
Your whale shit successfully consumed, you search about for a pistol shrimp. The small creature attempts to dart away from you, but cannot escape your might.
You tear his claw off and place it on your back. It seems useless for now.

>>9344646
Orks disdain powerful energy weapons like plasma and lascannons. Not enuff DAKKA (the sound).

In a moment of introspection, your crab-brain thinks it would be wise to find a larger pistol shrimp.

>>9344658
Well, pull off our claw, and stuff it on.
We regenerate these things. If the claw is put on fast enough, and held there, there's a good chance that they'll heal together.

>>9344644

Do your research, yaknow outside of RP and Pirates.

>>9344672
Shokk attack gun disagrees.

>>9344596
>Implying a 15' crab has a chance against A Mantis Shrimp

>>9344690
You tear your smaller claw off, and attach the minuscule pistol claw to your arm. It miraculously stays in place.

Your arm hurts now.

MAKE PEOPLE RANGOONS

Acquire Hedron.

>>9344730
Wait a little while longer for the nerves to get used to it.

Then test out our CAVITATION BUBBLE on something.

>>9344749
After a few minutes, the pain ebbs away. You turn to a large rock near you, aim, and fire your pistol claw. The water heats up a bit, but otherwise nothing happens.

>>9344781
THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A DEFECTIVE CLAW
WE MUST FIND BIGGER PISTOL SHRIMP

>>9344789
A few minutes of scuttling brings you to a large cave nestled amongst some rocks. You bang your large fighting claw against the ground, and out walks:
LARGE PISTOL SHRIMP.
Ten feet in length, this is truly a worthy foe. It eyes you with malice, readying its gun hand.

be sure to keep an eye out for feudal japanese warriors who might switch their weapons in real time to flip us over on our weak point for massive damage

>>9344843
Thankfully, the warriors of Feudal Japan have not mastered deep-sea exploration. You are safe.

>>9344825
Dodge! And follow it up with a CRABHAMMER ATTACK!

Test out my new claw. Then head to land, find a nice spot.

>>9344825

WE ARE NOT READY FOR THIS~

Blood for the Blood Crab!

Shells for the Shell Throne!

>15 feet wide

HOO-LEEE-SHIIIT

>>9345167
just means it's harder for it to dodge our mighty claw

now krump em!

>>9344825

THROW UP A DIRTY WATER SCREEN

SCUTTLE AROUND TO ITS BLIND SPOT

RIP AND TEAR

>>9345229
PINCH,CLAW,SNIP! PINCH,CLAW,SNIP!

Release the Kraken!

>>9344825
LET IT MEET OUR CAVITATION BUBBLE; IN THE EYES

It has to be cocked first, so if we walk in ready, we'll get the jump on it.

>>9345357
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g7NoaGIhmw
This is our new theme song.

>>9345229
This.

Pray to xom

>>9345497


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzrIBut8Fo8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pflXwCXd6D4&feature=related CRAB ARMY OH GOD

Start singing. "Under the sea!"

WE
ARE
CITIZEN SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPS

This seems awful familiar

Did OP leave? I want to see how LARGE PISTOL SHRIMP VS BIGASS CRAB battle ends.

>>9345722
>>9345722
GOD DAMN IT!

>>9345722


>>9345573

>>9344582
I'm a huge fucking crab, I dont think a normal squid could take me.

Amusing story, i was at Petco and was looking at the little crabs they had, there was one chowing down on a sucker fish that had died while in the tank.. This other fish came along and tried to steal some but the fucking crab beat it in the head with the carcass of his cousin.

Fucking crabs, man.

Where the fuck did you go Crabmaster, FFFFFFFFF

gloripus bumpage for the bump god

The crab master seems to have scuttled off

>>9346533
We require a new Crabmaster. One of us must take the mantle of CM, and lead this quest to the glory it righteously deserves!

Go to the biering sea, be captured, be on the deadliest catch, pinch the fuck outta one of them. Boss the rest of the crabs around ??? profit and die.

I was banned for two hours, gentlemen. Why? My post contained a banned URL?

>>9347467

THE TIDES HAVE DELIVERED THE CRAB MASTERS, LET US SNAP OUR PINCERS IN CELEBRATION!

>>9347467
how did you anger the Great and All Knowing Moot?

>>9347513
Perhaps I did? Anyway, crab vs pistol shrimp... where were we?

>>9347467
While you were gone, the Crab ate the Sunfish quest sunfish.

>>9347532
A few minutes of scuttling brings you to a large cave nestled amongst some rocks. You bang your large fighting claw against the ground, and out walks:
LARGE PISTOL SHRIMP.
Ten feet in length, this is truly a worthy foe. It eyes you with malice, readying its gun hand.

Well then before we return to the hot crustacean action, I will issue an apology to the great beings known as mods for my cancerous quest!

Anyway, attack pistol shrimp? Sure, yeah. You deftly avoid its blast of water and bring your mighty claw down on it! It is dazed an injured!

Current status: Crabby
Inventory:
Large fighting-claw
Small pistol claw
Carapace (orange)

CLAW THE SHIT OUT OF THE SHRIMP.

>>9347665
This.

You charge the shrimp, bellowing (?) the fearsome battlecry of your ancestors! You take a blast from the shrimp, damaging one of your legs! However, you manage to close the gap, and get in two hearty swings against the shrimp's head before grappling with it.

You have disabled its pistol claw for the moment, and are now locked in a grapple!

>>9347713
PINCER IT'S EYES!

overpower the shrimpy shrimp with our superior size and gurth

Using one of your undamaged legs to hold down the non-pistol claw, you plunge your own pistol-claw directly into one of the shrimp's stalked eyes, firing with all your might. Blood spews from the wounded appendage, but the shrimp is not yet dead! In an injured rage, it throws you back several feet, readying its pistol again.

>>9347777
Giant Crab! Dodge, and use CRABHAMMER!

scuttle about nervously, wondering if this was a good idea.

This time the shrimp misses by a large margin. You press your bulk against it, and snap off its pistol-claw. A cloud of inky blood shoots from its arm as the shrimp flails madly at you. After a moment, it lies still.

You have acquired: LARGE PISTOL CLAW

>>9347839
Devour the corpse of my slain enemy

Devour the parts of the shrimp that aren't needed for becoming a godless killing machine

You quickly devour the shrimp. All that remains are its CLAW and SHRIMPY HUSK. You remove bits of its carapace to heal your wounded leg, and attach the large pistol to your arm where your small pistol once was.

>>9347839
Equip LARGE PISTOL CLAW.
You got Pistol Claw!

>>9347839
acquire its legs for faster movement.

Crawl inside shrimpy husk.

>>9347914

You attach two of its legs. You don't entirely understand the nature of what you're doing, but you can move slightly faster. By some miracle the legs remain on you. You look rather silly.

>>9347899

Kep the head as trophy helmet

NEW GOAL.

REASSESSING PRIORITIES.

DEVOUR NOMY BITS OF PISTOL SHRIMP.

FIND LARGE MANTIS. MUST BE AT LEAST 8' IN LENGTH.

ACQUIRE CLAW.

>>9347954

Take a drink of water

You wrench the shrimp's head off and tentatively balance it upon your shell over your eyes.

wear the carapace for extra armor

MANTIS SHRIMP I MEANT.

GODDAMNIT.

>>9347972

Seek out a giant jellyfish. Kill it and use as a cloak

>>9347972
Equip pistol, hunt for mantis shrimp.

BLOOD FOR THE CRAB GOD

>>9347983
You now have DOUBLE CARAPACE. Your defense attribute goes up by 3!

The nearest mantis shrimp habitat is four miles east of the rocks where you live. Those shrimps are all quite small, however, and you have never seen one over 4 feet in length.

Fuck shit up, confident in your prowress

Test pistol claw.

Go on rampage. fuck things up. impregnate female crabs

CRAB BATTLE!

I Am A Crab. Crabs Are Awesome. I Win The Game. That Is All.

You aim your new claw at the shrimp's former home, and blow the entire rock formation away. Your crab-brain is quite pleased.

>>9348009

Travel there anyway and lay waste to their kingdom. Slaughter the inhabitants until the big guys show up.

Challenge Godzilla to a fight

save progress, save progress!

FIND UNDERSEA TYPEWRITER!

Go to LOST island and feed on the planecrash survivors

molt
Eat some shit
molt
Eat some more shit
molt
eat a little shit
molt
Eat a fucking shark
molt
fuck shit up

>>9348112
After an hour-long trek, you come upon the mantis-shrimp cove. Tiny shrimps scuttle about, living in small family units. They hide amongst the rocks upon seeing you, save for three bulls. One is apparently the leader. His turquoise carapace shines with indignity at your intrusion! He readies his claws, the two others follow suit.

>>9348147
tldr full of shit

FLOAT TO SURFACE

SINK TITANIC

FEAST ON THE BODIES THAT SINK TO THE OCEAN FLOOR AND USE THE WRECKAGE AS OUR VILE LAIR

>>9348151
Battle music begins

Crab uses limit break

You grab a female shrimp that was too slow to escape and eat her as a message to the bull mantises. One of them runs away in terror.

>>9348192
vile lair: must be had

Do you wish to abandon current raid of mantis shrimps in favor of sinking a ship?

>>9348211
no, genocide then find vile lair

Limit Break those Mantis Shrimp
Crab walks way from NO fight

weave a vile cloak from the torn carapaces of the pathetic mantis shrimp

Your brain informs you of a "limit break." You don't really understand, but you fire your pistol claw at the mantises, and then ride the current created by the blast. The current leads you, claw-first, into the bull. You crush him against the rocks, his guts decorate the floor of the cove.

Get impregnated by an octopus-blue tuna hybrid, and birth the ultimate sushi accessory.

yessssssss

become ruler of the mantis shrimps

Ascend to godlike status.


Then go sink a ship.

The other mantis, blown in half by your pistol shot, attempts to scuttle away. You crush him with your claw before eating him.

The rest of the shrimp come out of their refuges to see what has happened. If they had faces they would be communicating shock.

cast Bolt 3 on mantis shrimp leader

Go sink an aircraft carrier

>>9348314
now weave a vile cloak from their corpses

The mantis shrimp look at you, before bowing to you. You beat your massive claw against the ground and declare yourself the new chief. You eat one of them in a show of dominance.

go defeat an electric eel for lightning magic

You also inform them, through drawings in the sand, that you will require a "vile cloak." They bring forth a cape made of the blackest seaweed this side of the Caspian Sea.

Drink healing potion to restore hp

>>9348359
sweet

decide yours is the claw that will pierce the heavens and ascend to the surface.

Kill spongebob

>>9348368
This was a massacre, you are not in need of healing. Besides, consuming your slain foes replenishes energy. Your wounded leg already feels better.

>>9348352
You have no idea what an electric eel is, you have never seen one.

>>9348399
set our mantis peons to the task of building THE SHELL THRONE

>>9348380
>>9348323
>>9348309
You turn and face the surface, and see a large black shape floating overhead. You float up to investigate, waving goodbye to your newfound subjects. Some particularly brave ones follow you up to the surface world.

Ahead of you, you see a large ship.

>>9348423
The females also get to work constructing a throne for the Crab King.

FUCK SHIT UP

FUCK we need a shells for the SHELL THRONE

>>9348399

Now this

>>9348192

We need a (vile) base of operations.

order subjects to disable engines of the ship and begin cutting holes into the hull

>>9348442
oh, good.

Your subjects do as told, punching holes in the bottom of the ship and disabling the engines. The leviathan now comes to a halt, and you hear strange noises. Your brain tells you it is screaming. You float forward, coming into view of some odd things on the ship. They screech in horror at your glorious visage.

Fuck shit up. How dare they scram at your glorious visage.

Also, they look delicious.

>>9348476
BLOOD FOR THE CRAB GOD

>>9348453

Find a way to disable the hull doors! If they discover what is happening, they may start dropping depth charges!

Your shrimp scuttle up the sides of the ship and begin the battle for you. Wailing and screams of horror are heard as the fleshy creatures hopelessly battle your minions. A few dessicated corpses fall over the side of the ship.

>>9348476

Sound the attack. Fire full spread of shots at these creatures.

My mood is no longer crabby

You fire your massive pistol at the side of the ship, causing the metal to buckle and burst. You are now able to climb inside. On your way, you snag some corpses to eat. They are soft, yet delightfully crunchy.

Search for weapons and loot. Slaughtering these fleshy creatures along the way

You force yourself into the large thing as it takes on water. Ahead of you, people in strange outfits panic and flee. A couple stand and fire some odd-looking things at you. Small projectiles bounce off your carapace. Are these bipedal pistol shrimps?

Make our way to the engine room, slaughtering all that get in our way.

You move towards a new section of the ship, swatting tiny creatures out of the way and consuming them. Their pathetic devices are of no help, as your DOUBLE CARAPACE protects you.

You come upon a big and noisy thing inside a large room. More squishy creatures are in here, firing bigger devices at you. One shot penetrates. It stings a bit.

FUCK MORE SHIT UP

You see two of your minions join the fray! One is killed outright by one of the squishy things with the big stick, but the other closes the gap and punches a hole clean through another!

>>9348608

IGNORE SQUISHY'S

FIRE AT THE PIPES SURROUNDING THE MAIN BIG NOISY THING

ONCE WE BEGIN TO HEAR LOUD WHISTLING SOUNDS, ORDER A FULL RETREAT

>>9348608
Attempt to steal it's pointy stick, and stab it with it.

In a rage the likes of which only a crustacean could muster, you charge the creatures standing next to the big mechanical thing. You destroy the platform they were standing on, killing two of the five men. Unfortunately, your mantis minion is also killed.

You smash the debris aside and clutch one of the creatures, squeezing him until he breaks in half. The other two fire at you. It kind of hurts.

>>9348670
You mean tactical withdrawal

You turn and fire your pistol at the big noisy thing. It breaks, and steam spews out of it. Explosions rock the entire room as water crashes through the weakened structure, and you make a call to your minions. They hear your bellow, and you scuttle out of the room, dragging a screaming flesh-thing with you.

You watch from afar as the large ship breaks apart and begins to sink. Screaming creatures hurl themselves off the ship.

A few bulbous, yellow boats attempt to flee the doomed vessel. Your minions take the liberty of punching holes in them and dragging the terrified occupants into the open water. Then begins the feast. You aren't sure how many, but you consume massive quantities of the things, laughing to yourself as their precious ship goes down.

turn the sinking ship into your lair once it has fully sunk.

next step: Use the sacrifice of the squishys to open a gate to hell. Go in and fight lucifer

After about three hours, the wrecked ship hits the bottom of the ocean. You leave a few of the wailing squishy things alive on the surface for the sharks. Even scum such as they deserve a meal.

You float down with your retinue of thirty mantises. The wreck is sprawled out before you.

Yes, this will do nicely.

>>9348773
THIS

>>9348774
get them mantis wimmins to bring the COMPLETED SHELL THRONE to our VILE LAIR

Mate like crazy.


Then begin planning campagin against the surface world.

It takes a day for the rest of the mantises to set up inside the wreck. They move your completed throne to the center of the room where you shot the noisy thing, and clean up a few of the more decayed corpses.

Congratulations Crab King, you have a base of operations now.

>>9348802
This.

>>9348774
Now, SHELLS FOR THE SHELL THRONE MY MINIONS SHELLS FOR THE SHELL THRONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aaaaaaand, that'll do it for this quest. Will the Crab King continue his rampage? Will he learn more of the surface-creatures? Will he complete the sacrifice to Hell in order to fight Lucifer?

That will have to wait for another day.

>>9348821
I concur. We must find giant crab wimminz.

begin mating with mantis shrimp wimmins to create a brutal SOLDIER RACE to defend our LEGACY

>>9348847
(and because people suggested it)
Will the Crab King find a Queen to rule beside him?

Find out next time on Crab Quest!

Also: thanks to all that enjoyed the crabby rampage

I just read a story about how a 15 foot crab wearing a cape of seaweed and the remains of a giant shrimp ordered his legion of mantis shrimp to attack an aircraft carrier and subsequently blew it up by using it's gun-claw to punch holes in the ships hull and fire at the engine until it exploded, with future plans to use the wreckage of said aircraft carrier as a vile lair.
I... I don't eve know what to do with this...

>>9348916
try fapping, fail that become an hero.

>>9348916
Well you can go ahead and enjoy it, and then see where our crabby adventure takes us next time.

>>9348916


Best. Wednesday night. Ever.

Thanks, OP. When's the next one?

amazing evening