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  • File : 1271981258.jpg-(120 KB, 450x302, MudCrab.jpg)
    120 KB Crab Quest Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:07 No.9365464  
    It has been three days since the Crab King sunk the USS Michigan and converted it into your VILE LAIR. During that time, you have molted, and are now eighteen feet long, leg-span not included. Your mantis shrimp minions have been adding their molted shells to your shell throne, along with the husks of their kills, which serve as tribute to your glorious crabby visage.

    After molting, your stats are as follows:
    Condition: Crabby
    Double Carapace
    Pistol Claw
    Fighting Claw
    Speedy Legs
    Vile Seaweed Cape
    Shell-crown made of giant pistol shrimp

    Defense: 8
    Close-Range attack: 5
    Long-Range attack: 5
    Speed: 6

    Which stat do you wish to upgrade? You have three expendable points from molting.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:09 No.9365492
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:10 No.9365501
    Close Quarters Crabbing?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:10 No.9365510
    Glad someone caught my "shells for the shell throne"
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:12 No.9365549
    Also, all stats are out of ten. Upon reaching ten points in a given ability, you will gain a new power and reach level two out of a possible three.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:16 No.9365602
    >Eighteen feet long

    Place all three points into close-range attack?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:18 No.9365630
         File1271981881.jpg-(7 KB, 200x227, clamps.jpg)
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    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:22 No.9365702
    Perhaps upgrading can wait for later.

    You sit atop your shell throne, contemplating your next move. To your south is a known refuge for your hated nemeses, a clan of squid. They are invariably over ten feet long, and will not hesitate to swarm and consume you.
    To the West lies unexplored territory.
    To the North and East lies various habitats for shrimp and other lesser crustaceans ripe for the subjugating.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:31 No.9365844
    Venture North-East in a desire to tyrannize.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:33 No.9365876
    All 3 points should go into CR attack; our dominant pinching can't get soft on us!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:33 No.9365878
    Upgrade long ranged attack 2, short range 1

    South, gathering my minions in the folds between my carapace and double carapace.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:33 No.9365880

    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:34 No.9365894
    Confident in your martial prowess, you save your three evolution points for later and venture North-East from your vile lair. A squad of seven mantis bulls follows you as a small bodyguard contingent.

    Before you, you can make out three habitats. One is for more mantis shrimp, the other is pistol shrimp, and the last one is the home of some particularly nasty lobsters you know of. They are all easily twelve feet long at the smallest.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:36 No.9365923
    And as a sneak peek into what the upgrades are:
    Level two
    carapace: Spined carapace
    CQC: Rending Claw
    LRC: Cannon Claw
    Speed: Superfast legs
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:36 No.9365927
    >twelve feet long
    >at the smallest.
    Jesus Christ.

    Not even the normal sea is this fucking deadly. What the hell sort of mutant hell-floor is this part of the sea?
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:37 No.9365943
    The BEST KIND of sea floor. If you can't handle this, take your kiddy-carapace back to the junior lagoon!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:37 No.9365944
    We need a stronger carapace. But still lightweight.

    And pick on those lobsters. Not only are they delicious, but we shall show the shrimp who's boss.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:37 No.9365950
    Investigate the area further before taking action.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:38 No.9365966
    You make our a reef to the far East. A number of colorful fish, and three rather large sharks, lurk around the area.

    Farther North is a cluster of jellyfish.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:39 No.9365983
    And grow a stronger shell. So we not only move fast, but are harder than steel.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:39 No.9365986
    And by "rather large sharks" I mean rather large for pathetic, squishy humans. Not the Crab King.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:41 No.9366004
    You expend two points on carapace and receive the SPINED CARAPACE. Foes engaged in close combat with you will now have reason to fear your spikey shell. Furthermore, this will make it difficult for those damnable squid to grasp and eat you.

    You have one point left over.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:42 No.9366020
    1 point to CQC
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:42 No.9366021
    Let's take the last point and put it into close-range attack; we need a bit more CLAMP in the claws.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:42 No.9366024
    Grow better sexually-selective characteristics. In the case we ever meet crabesses worth of the Crab Kings spooge.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:43 No.9366038
    Set on subjugating the lobsters, you scuttle forth to their den. Rocks have been arranged in a semicircular formation, offering shelter for the monstrous lobsters. You bang your mighty claw against the ground, and five of the blue giants emerge to face you. They look angry.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:44 No.9366060
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:44 No.9366063
    You decide to strengthen your claw a bit. It grows noticeably, but you adapt to it quickly. Also, the spines along the inside have grown slightly sharper and larger.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:45 No.9366080
    Show them that we're the biggest, and our mantis shrimp nobz aren't going to take their shit.

    We have a fucking CAVITATION BUBBLE, and they punch through fucking glass and don't give a fuck. RAPE THE LOBSTERS
    >> AtomikKrab 04/22/10(Thu)20:45 No.9366085
    upgrade speed WE ARE FAST CRAB

    also consume more radioactive minerals
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:45 No.9366090
    You scuttle to and fro in what is known to your kind as the "dance of rage." You clack your fighting claw and fire jets of water from your pistol all about, issuing a mighty warcry. One of the lobsters looks a tad nervous now.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:45 No.9366100
    First, what are the caracteristics of my guard?
    If good for Cqc then send em on cqc if good for long ranged attacks tell them to get behind me and attack at long range.
    As for myself long range until I can chanrge for cqc, then they'll see my carapace!!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:46 No.9366108
    How strong are we? Pick up one of the rocks, and throw it at the lobsters, while running forward with a cocked pistol claw.

    At close range, let it loose, and they'll all be stunned.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:46 No.9366113
    They are mantis shrimp. They are all four feet long and carry massively powerful punching claws.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:47 No.9366133
    Well then...
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:48 No.9366149
    >mantis shrimp
    >four feet long
    At ONE foot long, those fuckers slice through fingers and break the goddamn glass of their aquariums.
    What hellish monsters are at our beck and call, and why aren't we showing those lobsters how mean these fuckers are?
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:48 No.9366155
    You swing your fighting claw forward, signaling the attack. While your mantises charge, you pick up and hurl a nearby piece of coral (it was all that was around). Your coral misses slightly, but your follow up pistol shot knocks one lobster right in the face, causing him to fly backwards several feet. Your seven mantises have completely covered another lobster, and although two are taken and crushed in its massive claws, the beast eventually goes down, several holes punched in it.

    The remaining three lobsters charge you, pincers ready!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:50 No.9366179

    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:50 No.9366193
    Keep on long range the most we can, and then Charge those fucker!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:51 No.9366203
    REady our Fighting claw and our Pistol Claw. Aim in between two with our Pistol when they get close, let loose to stun them, then kill the third fucker with our Fighting Claw.

    Proceed to beat the other two with their buddy's own claws.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:51 No.9366207
    You ready your claw, and manage to fry one lobster at close range. Its "face" goes red as it twitches slightly before dying. The other two clutch your powerful claws and hold them at bay, whilst clubbing you with their free hands! Your mantises rush to your aid, and manage to surround one. Your fighting claw is now free.

    The lobster that had been shot earlier is now returning to the battle.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:52 No.9366211
    Can Lobsters move sideways? If not, just scuttle to the side faster than they can adjust their path, and flank them.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:52 No.9366230
    Shoot him again for kicks.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:53 No.9366244
    Your pistol claw is immobile
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:53 No.9366249
    With punishing force, jam our closed fighting claw into the lobster still grabbing us and expand it, then pulling back mightily.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:53 No.9366254
    >The lobster that had been shot earlier is now returning to the battle.

    >> AtomikKrab 04/22/10(Thu)20:54 No.9366262
    grab one in your fighting claw and use it as a club against the one charging back in
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:54 No.9366263
    Yell to the lobsters that they can survive if they become your servants.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:56 No.9366299
    Summoning all of your crabby might, you shove your claw directly into the mouth of the lobster holding your pistol arm. You open your claw, and the entire head of the lobster explodes in a shower of gore and shell fragments. Its grip slackens, and you wrench your pistol free, firing quickly at the charging lobster. Unfortunately, your shot goes wide of the target.

    however, your minions are done tearing the first lobster in half, and have tied up the charger.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:56 No.9366300
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    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:57 No.9366313
    Make him our slave. After giving him a meeting with Mr. Cavitation Bubble to blind him.

    Make sure the Mantis shrimp are clear of the blast.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:57 No.9366321
    Rip off the last lobster's eyes.

    He is quite large, long, and probably quite strong.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)20:57 No.9366323
    You motion to the final lobster, calling off your minions. Performing the legendary "scuttle of subjugation," you inform the lobster that if he and his clan become your thralls, he may yet live on to serve your greater, crabby purpose.

    He agrees.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:58 No.9366343
    That last fucker can be our new slave.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:59 No.9366350
    Make. Him. OUR STEED.

    Also, dance some more. It amuses my imagination.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:59 No.9366360
    >Performing the legendary "scuttle of subjugation,"
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)20:59 No.9366362
    Attempt to climb on top of the charger to humiliate him, before clamping off his legs and leaving him as a message to any others who dare stand against you.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:00 No.9366376
    Find beautiful lobster whores to inseminate their eggs with our semen, as is the due of the conquerors.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:01 No.9366381
    You gather up the remains of his comrades. The lobster has a look of shame and awe in his stalked eyes. You and your minions devour the corpses in front of him, sparing him none of the grisly scene.

    You scuttle forward and fire a low-intensity jet into his eyes, blinding him. He shrieks (?) in pain, and you perform the "dance of the steed" to display your dominance.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:01 No.9366388
    Oh, excellent.

    As proof of his dedication, have him eat the brains of his fallen comrades as we laugh and feast on their delicious tails; also, share some with our loyal minions.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:01 No.9366389
    Fuck that. If he has no legs, we can't ride him. Blind him, and ride him.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:02 No.9366410
    Two other, smaller, lobsters crawl out from their dens. You assume that they are females.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:02 No.9366414
    Do the "dance of the crustacean". As to display our crabbyness, and our deference to the shellfish gods.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:04 No.9366461
    You perform the "Wavemaker's Waltz," the fabled dance of deference to your God, the Wavemaker. It is said that this monstrous crustacean resides in the pools of the great Poseidon himself.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:04 No.9366468
    "For more than twenty years, Dr. Jelle Atema of the Marine Biological Laboratory has been studying lobster mating behavior. He claims lobsters make tender lovers."

    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:05 No.9366470
    Let's see how promiscuous these lobster whores are.
    Do the "Dance of the Manly Manliness".
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:05 No.9366488
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:05 No.9366489
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:06 No.9366500
    [citation needed]
    No, seriously. I want to see how the fuck they figured this out.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:06 No.9366507
    to lure them in, then this
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:06 No.9366511
    This dance better include generous shaking and gyrating of our crabby nether-regions.

    And make it FUNKY.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:07 No.9366524
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:07 No.9366526
    we now need to have a royal band to play theme songs when we dance.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:08 No.9366545
    It's called the "mantis shrimp nobz snapping their claws in tune, and doing a barbershop quartet as we dance".
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:08 No.9366549
    You perform the "Dance of Dominion" for the lobster-ettes. They tentatively move towards you, understanding that they are your property, as are the ways of pillaging at sea.

    Without warning, you grab then in your claws and slam them to the ground. You proceed to inseminate them with your crabby seed. Apparently one of the lobster's is your steed's mate, and her cries to him amuse you greatly.

    When you are finished, you have your minions escort the two back to your vile lair.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:09 No.9366564
    Your steed's mate will be spared. The other is food for the rest of your thralls.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:09 No.9366567
    ...Crustaceans have normal sex? They don't lay eggs and then inseminate them like fish?
    I learned something new today.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:10 No.9366579
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:10 No.9366593
    You're an eighteen foot wide crab wearing a cape living in a sunken ship, and THAT is the part you question?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:11 No.9366616
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:12 No.9366622
    I stopped asking questions after we had four-foot long shrimp and 12-foot long lobsters.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:13 No.9366654
    Exactly. So anyway:

    You mount your steed. There are other habitats to conquer! Or do you wish to pursue other goals?
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:16 No.9366689
    By the way, it won't be long before teams are dispatched to investigate the mysterious sinking of an expensive aircraft carrier.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:16 No.9366701
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:16 No.9366713
    >Crab Quest
    >You're a crab
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:17 No.9366730
    ...Even if they dispatch subs to check, are they really going to think "this big crab that's currently using it as a home sunk the whole damn ship with this shrimp minions"?
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:18 No.9366750
    You decide to hold off on conquest for now. Now is the time for celebration!

    Back in your vile lair, your subjects have set a feast in your honor. Your mantises have rounded up massive quantities of smaller shrimp, crabs, and lobster, and the centerpiece is the female lobster you mated with earlier.

    You dance the "Scuttle of Superiority" for your minions. They clack their claws in your honor, and the feast begins.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:18 No.9366751
    hmm...heh, we should have the humans make us a laser claw, or something awesome, become the a ruler with an iron claw.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:20 No.9366770
    Spare the female lobsters.
    They bear our spawn.
    We must see what genetically insane mutants are born from them.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:20 No.9366785
    Later, the husks are added to your shell throne. The slaughter causes your throne to increase in height and width! It is now sixteen feet high and ten feet across.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:21 No.9366792
    hmm...needs to be bigger.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:21 No.9366793
    If we think humans are coming by soon, we have GOT to make the lair look "normal" and natural.

    Can't have it look like we did the job of sinking the ship.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:21 No.9366797
    You have one breeder lobster. She is the former mate of your steed.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:22 No.9366806
    Are we gaining any favors with the Shell God yet? Or do we need to pick on clams and sea urchins?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:22 No.9366823
    Don't forget to feed the steed. Stuff that will make him BIGGER.

    It's hard for a 18-foot crab to ride a 12-foot lobster.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:23 No.9366830

    We can't have a proper celebration without dancing.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:23 No.9366835
    The Wavemaker is displeased with your actions, for he is a peaceful crustacean god that teaches love amongst all denizens of the deep.

    However, Bloodshell, The Wavemaker's opposing god, smiles upon your villainy and bloodshed. Further conquest will begin to gain you favor.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:24 No.9366843

    Can we use the cannons built into our Vile Lair for our whims?

    1. sink subs
    2. claim nukes in subs
    3. ????
    4. Profit.
    >> Second Person 04/22/10(Thu)21:24 No.9366849
    fuck year crabquest.

    shells for the shellthrone.

    i say we dedicate ourselves to the creation of a horrid soldier race of mutants to defend our legacy
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:25 No.9366856

    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:25 No.9366870
    Impregnating the female lobster was your first step down that path.

    Most of the cannons have rounds in them, and there are stockpiles of ammo in your lair. However, it is beyond you how to operate them... for the moment.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:25 No.9366871
    Oh shit. We shouldn't ally ourself with one god. HOw do we not piss off Wavemaker?
    >> Second Person 04/22/10(Thu)21:25 No.9366872
    fuck no, Bloodshell is the one and only true god worshipped with our VILE LAIR
    >> Second Person 04/22/10(Thu)21:26 No.9366885
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:26 No.9366893
    If the Wavemaker does not approve of us, then we shall show him the error of his ways! More shells for the throne!
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:27 No.9366907
    You can change the decorations and your policy to morph the VILE LAIR into the BENEVOLENT LAIR. Spreading peace across the sea will gain you favor with The Wavemaker, while subjugation and violence brings the attention of Bloodshell.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:27 No.9366910
    Fuck that.

    We're not pissing off the god who's got a network with FUCKING POSEIDON.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:28 No.9366918
    more shrimp allies are needed, find more mantis shrimp, kill off the males and take their females as breeder stock to be used by our particular tribe
    >> Second Person 04/22/10(Thu)21:28 No.9366920
    fuck poseidon, Crab King must fear no beast or god
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:28 No.9366922
    do both
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:28 No.9366939
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:28 No.9366940
    Bloodshell channels the wrath of Poseidon, while The Wavemaker channels his benevolence. Bloodshell has connections with Hades and Ares as well, while The Wavemaker has connections to the sun and wind.
    >> Second Person 04/22/10(Thu)21:28 No.9366942
    Besides, does Bloodshell hang out with Hades?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:29 No.9366949
    Can't we spread beneficent rule THROUGH conquering every fucker we sea?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:30 No.9366960
    Wait wait wait, we sank a Flat top???

    Aircraft carriers have ASW aircraft. ASW aircraft carry smallish air-droppable torpedoes. We live inside an aircraft carrier infested with mantis shrimp.

    Obviously we need to drop everything and develop some MANTIS SHRIMP TORPEDO CAVALRY
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:30 No.9366972
    I suppose a particularly astute and enterprising crab could set up a series of protectorates through displays of strength, thereby appeasing both Gods.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:30 No.9366973
    Let's worship everybody and everything in the pantheon.

    Worked for the Greeks and Romans.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:30 No.9366975
    Well we ain't hurting one of Poseidons kids, if anything, we are one of his many children he will not care...hopefully.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:30 No.9366979
    Try to increase our intelligence rating by pondering great philosophical questions.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:31 No.9366987
    Bloodshell ftw. No other god is allowed.

    I agree we should buff up our mount. Maybe create some additional shell armor for him so that he may be rode into battle without fear of injury.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:31 No.9366993
    Good. We're going in that direction.

    Proceed to colonize the previous lobster home with seas of kelp and other farms of food.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:32 No.9367009

    But make our steed wear the armor plates of his dead brethren. They'll fit nicely.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:33 No.9367036
    Sounds good enough. However, you will not be as powerful appeasing both gods as you would be sticking to one.

    Do you wish to continue, and help restore balance to these conflicted seas?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:33 No.9367037
    Bloodshell shall bless us in battle, and Wavemaker shall bless us with subjects who love us.
    I see no downsides.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:33 No.9367040
    So what we gonna do, subjugate, explore, or sink subs?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:34 No.9367048
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:34 No.9367049
    Well I'll wait a minute for you scuttlers to simmer down for a minute and come to an agreement.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:34 No.9367062
    Oh man... lobster gestation can take up to a year... it's gonna be a while before we see lobster-crab mutants. :(

    Appeasing all the gods is hard work... do we have enough minions to accomplish all of those tasks AND maintain a defensive cavalry? In case of attacks while... farming?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:35 No.9367069
    Increase our intelligence by pondering the great philosophical dilemma's of the Crabs.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:35 No.9367085
    That's usually the eternal problems of empires, yes.
    It's better that we do all we can with what we have so... Let's take stock of what we can do.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:36 No.9367093
    We can worship all gods later, if we are war crab, we must worship war. Unity through force, force through war.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:36 No.9367097
    Further subjugation will grant you more minions with which to defend your territory and accompany you on missions. Nobody has dared enter your lair yet, but that does not mean they never will.

    You can indeed increase your intellect. Shall i make "intellect" a new stat?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:36 No.9367105
    Can we go on the middle ground and be a benevolent lunatic?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:37 No.9367113
    Yes. And it shall be directly related to how AWESOME our dances are.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:38 No.9367133
    So far all of our conquered shrimps and lobsters are good at battle... we should probably stick to battle.

    What if we only subjugated the assholes, like the squid, and peacefully assimilated the other sea creatures who do not want to battle? Basically just storm up to their front gates and ask if they'd rather join us or fight us?
    >> Second Person 04/22/10(Thu)21:38 No.9367145
    well. i continue to vote for the worship of Bloodshell.
    this whole benevolent shit won't last for long, i gaurantee.

    Crab King's reign has been one of TERROR after all.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:39 No.9367156
    Lets go with this, subjugate the jerks and all the rest will join us willingly.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:39 No.9367159
    CURRENT INTELLECT: 3 (out of ten)

    Also, examples of blessings and favors include:

    Black carapace of fear
    Shredding Claws
    Baleful Gaze
    Bloodshell Minions

    Charming aura
    Growth (causes fucking... seaweed to grow. A good source of food)
    Shining Carapace
    Grace (limited invulnerability)
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:39 No.9367160
    They were called the "Romans".
    Stomp on everybody else, then make them vassals under the benevelent safety net of the empire.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:40 No.9367171

    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:40 No.9367173
    minions are something any great crab needs, who else would glorify our name if not the minions we have conquered then lead to victory over both the deep and the squishy metal hulled livers?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:40 No.9367178
    we must now find Atlantis and dance on it's footsteps!

    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:40 No.9367182
    ...Since we worship both gods...would we eventually be able to get a Shining Black Carapace of Fear and Sexy?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:40 No.9367187
    Also, the lobster-platemail for the steed sounds good. And I think we should put 2 points into defence and 1 point into intellect, to gain new POWAHS.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:41 No.9367190
    Are we self aware?

    If so, ponder the nature of crabbiness
    >> Second Person 04/22/10(Thu)21:41 No.9367198
    black carapace of fucking fear??

    bloodshell ftw, there is no alternative
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:41 No.9367202
    If you are benevolent, there will always be need for bloodshed. The squid and their ilk would never join you. Similarly, the sharks and eels of the deep would sooner die than be humbled by a crab. Basically anything else is fair game though.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:42 No.9367224
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:42 No.9367229
    You've done much in these past few hours. Do you wish to hibernate and molt? This will cost you two days that could be spent preparing and managing your empire, but will give you immediate benefits.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:43 No.9367243
    Oh shut up and run with it.
    It adds more depth to where the story can go if we worship two aspects of Poseidon than HURR HURR LET'S KILL EVERYTHING ELSE.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:43 No.9367248
    So let's just fight squid, sharks, and eels, then make all the other sea creature communes our vassals. Bloodshell will be appeased by our battle skills, and the Wavemaker will enjoy our... farming?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:43 No.9367251
    We can not get favor of all, we can not become as powerful if bound to many, we wage war, we shall worship BloodShell.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:43 No.9367259
    Only if we can be sure that our minions won't decide that a sleeping 18-foot soft-shell crab doesn't look goddamn tasty.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:43 No.9367260
    I think it would be best to take the middle path.

    "Join the glorious Crabby Empire and prosper, or be crushed in my mighty claws!"
    >> Anonymous. 04/22/10(Thu)21:44 No.9367266
    Pretty sure our ultimate endgame should be to topple both the Wavemaker and Bloodshell and take our place as the one true crustacean god.

    But maybe that's just me getting mah hubris on.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:44 No.9367272
    You can go up the middle and gain the Burnished Carapace of Awe. This glorious bronze-colored carapace will both intimidate to a degree and help your persuasion.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:44 No.9367275
    Hold on a second guys, Both of our gods are crustaceans. Please crustacean gods while killing all non-crustaceans.
    We shall rally the Crustaceans in the names of our Crustaceans gods, for the Crustaceans are the master-order!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:44 No.9367281
    Yes we can. If the DM is good.

    The Romans did it. And they fucked over everybody until their fall.

    Krump your enemies, then absorb them to make the empire stronger. We MUST rule over all shellfish in the sea.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:45 No.9367297
    Don't spoil my endgame there, brah.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:45 No.9367299
    if we up our intellect, we can probably learn how to operate the torpedoes....
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:45 No.9367302
    And we can't do that if we piss off one forever and make him an eternal enemy.
    We must become Crab-Zeus. Complete with aboslute rape of everything with a vagina.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:46 No.9367314
    I LIKE
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:46 No.9367320
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:47 No.9367329
    This guy has a point... kill all the non-crustaceans and we win. Spare the other crustaceans and make them our vassals. We get the best of both worlds.

    Now is not the time to molt, we must prepare our shrimp minions for the coming battles. Time for battle hurrahs and armor/weapon upgrades. A well equipped shrimp army will win us battles more securely.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:47 No.9367333
    Holy Spelling Errors, Batman! Well, the message got through.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:47 No.9367340
    Embrace our ways or by crushed by our iron claw!
    It shall be so!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:47 No.9367343
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:48 No.9367354
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    this just got AWESOME
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:48 No.9367360
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:48 No.9367370
    'tis decided.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:49 No.9367388
    Yes, we will bring in a golden age for all crustaceans and crush all who would oppose us.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:49 No.9367390

    You inform your minions that your ways of conquest and mindless violence are over. Retreating to your shell throne, you enter a deep sleep and molt.

    You are now Twenty-Two feet across, legs notwithstanding! You have gained three upgrade points for molting, and an extra two as a favor from The Wavemaker for repenting your wicked ways.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:49 No.9367394
    I just came.
    I imagined our Holy Crab King and his Holy Shelled Empire.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:50 No.9367412
    Do we have a title? Like his Royal Crabbiness? or The Clawed Lord?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:50 No.9367414
    Can you explain why our minions don't attack us while we're asleep and weaker than ever mid-molt, before our shell hardens?
    I don't want it to happen, but I'd like to know why.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:51 No.9367437
    2 in defence for this
    rest in intellect.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:51 No.9367447
    Your violence and brutality cowed them into obedience. The same way a bunch of gretchin wouldn't try to kill a Warboss while his back was turned. Even with your soft shell, you are more than a match for them. Besides, you just told em that mean Mr Crabby is gone, they wanna see how this turns out.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:52 No.9367452
    Jesus Christ. Not only have you made giant super shellfish, you're letting them create Crab Rome.

    I approve mightily.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:52 No.9367454
    intellect increases are mandatory
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:52 No.9367455
    I agree.
    >> Minion 04/22/10(Thu)21:52 No.9367456
    We're scared as piss to even try, obviously.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:52 No.9367457
    Because then they'd have no leader.. I think we only really need to worry about that if there are any minions of distinction with support, 'loyal' to us or otherwise.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:52 No.9367472
    I'd imagine in an epic way.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:53 No.9367478
    Considering our increased size, I vote we put some points into speed so that we aren't a slow-moving target. Our shell may be mighty, but it isn't maxxed out.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:53 No.9367479
    Defense: 10
    Close-Range attack: 5
    Long-Range attack: 5
    Speed: 6
    Intellect: 3

    So, what will it be? You have five points to sink.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:53 No.9367483
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    >Twenty-Two feet across,
    >legs notwithstanding
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:54 No.9367495
    Ooo, what was the new power for reaching level 2 in defence? Also, Speed and intellect.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:54 No.9367500
    Your official denomination is no longer King Crab. It is now CRAB LEVIATHAN.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:54 No.9367501
    YES! We must learn hot to use our battle cannons on our ship!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:54 No.9367504
    Three speed, two in LRA.

    That pistol is pretty fucking handy.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:54 No.9367509
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:54 No.9367513
    3 INT

    2 SPEED
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:54 No.9367517
    We also need to redecorate our crabby manor into something that appeases both gods... something that's a cross between a VILE LAIR and a BENEVOLENT LAIR. A JUSTICE LAIR????
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:55 No.9367534
    Seems like most people want speed and intellect. Please decide how many points will go into each.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:56 No.9367545
    So...you want the...Bat Cave. Underwater. Made for crabs.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:56 No.9367554
    2 speed and 3 int sounds good to me aswell.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:56 No.9367560
    Two speed, three INT.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:56 No.9367563
    That would be the IRON LAIR. A place where all allies of the mighty Crab Lord may find refuge, and a bastion against the enemies of crustacean power!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:56 No.9367570
    A crabby bat cave sounds good to me!

    Also, 3 INT, 2 SPD
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:57 No.9367584
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)21:58 No.9367593
    3 Int 2 Speed
    Upgrade to Iron Lair.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)21:59 No.9367635
    +3 INT, +2 SPEED it is!

    Defense: 10
    Close-Range attack: 5
    Long-Range attack: 5
    Speed: 8
    Intellect: 6

    You are now a more convincing orator! Likewise, your legs are longer, stronger, and more nimble. You have a top land speed of about 30mph.

    As a further sign of The Wavemakers approval, your carapace begins to elude a faint light. Similarly, your VILE CLOAK is no longer black as pitch, it is slightly greener.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:00 No.9367659
    can we operate machinery or read yet?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:01 No.9367682
    We need to spread the word of our awesome and mighty crabdom. Send out some of the shrimp minions to tell the other crustaceans of the great and just CRAB LEVIATHAN so that our crabdom becomes a crabpire.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:02 No.9367693
    prepare a hunting party, we ate much in our celebratory feast, we should replenish our supplies

    also, convince nearby tribes to move in to our giant metal lair of safety for allies
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:02 No.9367701
    As a minor bonus, you understand rudimentary tool-making! The machinery is beyond you, though. You learn that the squishy things you massacred before are known as "humans," and you blew up their "ship" when you broke its "engine."

    Suddenly, you feel much much smarter than before.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:02 No.9367714
    Create our own dance, a dance in praise of our Iron Claw of all Crustaceankind. All Crustaceans will one day dance our dance, and our minions shall be encouraged by it.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:02 No.9367715
    Send out Ambassadors? Missionaries (not sure hot to spell it...)?
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:04 No.9367730
    Atop your steed, you ride out into the open water. A retinue of ten mantises join you, while the females busy themselves with planting kelp, seaweed, and fixing up your lair. Unfortunately, the shell throne must be discarded, as it is too VILE. However, a TROPHY HALL has been set up in your honor. Your notable kills will go here.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:04 No.9367734
    shouldnt CR attack be 6? We upgraded earlier.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:04 No.9367739
    Why the god damn hell do i keep typing "hot" and not "how"?!?!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:04 No.9367744
    A new crabby mandate!

    Collect supplies and spread the word of crabby awesomeness. Once our stores are replenished and we have some new minions, we can take on the squid, sharks, and eels.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:04 No.9367750
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:04 No.9367754
    Whoopsie-Daisy. Yeah, CQC is 6, not 5.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:05 No.9367776
    Also, if this thread hits the bump-limit (that would be awesome), I will start a new thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:05 No.9367778
    Rather than discarding the shell throne, could the shells be turned into armor for our minions? I'm sure we will obtain vassals that are less armored than the crabby king.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:06 No.9367797

    This, send out 2 groups, one for hunting and the other to recruit nearbt tribes, as for ourselves, I suggest we use our newfound intellence and strenght to fasion our lair into one more suited to our Crabby-Grandness and to beable to house more citizens.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:06 No.9367803
    Grab giant coral, decorate with shells, starfish on top, declare new holiday.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:07 No.9367824
    A most excellent idea. The throne has been deconstructed. Bits of your various kills, including your own molted shell, have been crafted into armor for your subjects. Only the most fearsome, loyal, and elite of your troops will be graced with armor crafted of your own body!

    Speaking of which, do you wish to elect any mantises to elite positions?
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:09 No.9367860
    A party of five mantises goes forth to speak to lesser crustaceans. They are feared warriors, but your reputation as a crazed warlord precedes you. It will not be easy convincing these denizens of the deep that you have turned over a new piece of seaweed.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:09 No.9367863
    We now need elite sniper mantis teams.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:09 No.9367865
    Make a sword from the metal of the wrecked ship.

    If we cam puncture it we can probably fold it into a weapon!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:09 No.9367869
    Give us a rundown of our most decoracted soldiers.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:11 No.9367904
    The five mantises that accompanied you to fight the lobsters are easily your best. They followed you to the ship, and were there to witness you sink it, creating what they now call home. Their names are:
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:11 No.9367906
    collect large amount of food then throw another party

    invite local villages, they'll like us more after we feed them
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:13 No.9367925
    Perhaps it would be wiser to send a party with some females in it? 3 females and 2 males would allow for a non-aggressive appearance but still be enough firepower to gtfo if needed. Plus, other crustacean women will side with the great crab king's women and convince their males that assimilation is best.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:13 No.9367927
    Instead of a sword it should be the metal grafted onto our melee claw, giving it longer reach and doubling as a shield to protect us.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:13 No.9367937
    Your five emissaries go out and collect various bits of seaweed, kelp, and other food items (not one of which is a fellow crustacean!). They even manage to capture a number of infant squid! Five clans of shrimp and two clans of lobster will be joining you tonight.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:13 No.9367943
    Clawclaw, because claws.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:13 No.9367947
    How many do we have resources to decorate?
    >> allaghan 04/22/10(Thu)22:13 No.9367954
    is there some sort of mollusk jesus we can kill?
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:14 No.9367964
    Your two molted carapaces would be enough to dress your entire kingdom, but it is highly valuable and durable, fit only for veterans.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:15 No.9367981
    whatever happened to our plan to sacrifice in order to do battle with lucifer?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:15 No.9367993
    The five named then, they shall be our top advisers, only surpassed by us.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:16 No.9368005
    Dress our five greatest warriors in our molted shells and save the rest for repairs and/or armoring future warriors.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:16 No.9368006
    Apparently being Crab Caesar is more entertaining.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:17 No.9368022
    Arm our steed with our molted shell armour. Also, give it massive horns capable of piercing rock.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:17 No.9368024
    Actually, yes it is.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:17 No.9368026
    Your five veterans are dressed in armor of your own shell. They form the Mantis Coven, your elite circle of feared warriors!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:18 No.9368046
    This must be done, but i think we are too big for our steed now.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:18 No.9368052
    when they arrive, give a grand speech

    tell them.. of a dream, a dream where all crustaceans may live free of the tyrrany the mollusks bring, a dream where we rule supreme over these waters

    also, continue with crab/lobster hybrid monstrosity breeding program
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:19 No.9368072
    Outfit all 5 in our carapaces, they shall now henceforth be known as the Clawguard. They will be our elite royal guard aswell as our generals if we need to send them some off on their own.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:19 No.9368081
    Your steed also molted, though he is only about fifteen feet long. Unfortunately he is un-rideable (I am aware I mentioned riding him earlier, plotholes, whatever). However, he will follow you around and be a beast of burden.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:20 No.9368101
    I'm so happy I came home to find this on the first page
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:20 No.9368105
    Feed lobster with great food, let it molt whenever it can.
    I do say, whales are quite tasty, how about we kill a whale? Our subjects will revere us even more and we can take up new titles.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:21 No.9368113

    Attempt to ride it anyway
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:21 No.9368114
    Mantis Coven or Clawguard? Whichever you guys like better.

    Anyway, preparation for the feast is almost complete. Your dining hall is in the former mess hall of the ship, and can easily accommodate your guests.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:22 No.9368130
    Capture whale, figure out how to use cannons, armor whale. Best fortress ever.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:22 No.9368134
    How about Claw Coven?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:23 No.9368150
    I like Claw Guard best.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:23 No.9368158
    Riding your steed would kill him at this point. You need him to beef up first.

    You are on your way back to the IRON LAIR when you find something amiss. To your shock and horror, a SQUID RAIDING PARTY has descended upon your lair! Your subjects are valiantly fighting them off, and you notice some of your guests standing by, not joining the fray. What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:24 No.9368185
    I like it. 'CC' looks like two claws ready to crush all our foes who would oppose our new and glorious empire.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:24 No.9368195
    There are six squid, each one is thirteen feet in length.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:24 No.9368198
    When do we create crustacean primarchs?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:25 No.9368210
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:25 No.9368219
    Remember who they are, and what they look like.

    We have to make sure we still have subjects to work for us, so attack the squid, full-force.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:26 No.9368232
    We are resisting for peace. THROUGH MASSIVE PACIFICATION.
    And squid don't count as part of the glorious crabster race, so they can be eliminated freely.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:27 No.9368242
    Charge the squid! While we are charging snap our claws at the guests and order them to fight!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:27 No.9368246
    Fuck yeah, this.
    Think of the encounters with the USN!
    2 carriers are crusing along, side by side. Armored whale pops up in the middle, fires a volley at both, we jump up, riding the whale's waterspout, and land on the deck of a carrier. Blood everywhere, shoot down a couple planes with pistol-claw, fuck yeah. The only think the naval command will hear is "OH GOD THE CLAWS, THE CLA-"
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:27 No.9368248
    They're horrible, evil squid. They don't count as murder.

    As such, destroy them, then deal with the cowards later.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:28 No.9368267
    I think without the heat absorbtion of the water we live in, using our pistol claws above the sea will burn us as well.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:28 No.9368268
    You clack your mighty claw and bellow a thunderous roar of anger! If you had time, you would be doing the "Murderdance."

    You fire wildly at the squid while your nimble legs quickly close the gap. As one of your lesser minions is consumed, you grab the assailant in your claw and fire full-force into its eye. Ink and blood cloud your vision but you hold the squirming creature still, ripping it in half.

    The other five turn to face you!
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:28 No.9368270

    is there an untamed spirit ready to show the boys she's just as tough and capable?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:29 No.9368288
    Dodge at last minute. Squid can't change their trajectory after charging.

    And they're charging straight INTO the floor that we live on.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:29 No.9368291
    The snapping of our claws is of coarse to show the cowards what they will get if they dont fight for the empire.

    We are a brutal yet just leader.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:30 No.9368316
    We (shall) rule with an iron, but caring, claw. Of benevolent brutality.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:30 No.9368319
    New dinner guests! WONDERFUL! They shall be the main course!
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:31 No.9368335
    You praise your forward-thinking for enhancing your speed as you scuttle-strafe the group of squid. You fire a volley at them, wounding one. Your Claw Coven hop on the downed foes and viciously tear the wretch into several gory pieces.

    One other squid is caught up with your other subjects, but the remaining two charge you, grappling with you. Your spined carapace skewers their tentacles, and they become hopelessly stuck on you.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:31 No.9368347
    Squid brains are actually a literal doughnut-shaped organ wrapped around their own esophagus.

    This also makes it so that they have to bite small bits of their food, or risk brain damage when swallowing.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:32 No.9368362

    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:32 No.9368364
    Herp derp derp more than could chew derp.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:32 No.9368369
    Emboldened by your show of power, your dinner guests join in! Lobsters, shrimp, and crabs all surge around you. Some apologize as they defile your glorious carapace in an effort to have at the dirty squid bastards!
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:34 No.9368397
    You pull one flailing squid into your gaping maw. It desperately shoots ink in all directions, but to no avail. It is drawn in to your mouth, and a sickening squish signifies the beast's death. You never knew how good squid tasted.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:34 No.9368406
    Body slam a squid, crushing it and impaling it with our spikes of glory.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:35 No.9368430
    >Some apologize as they defile your glorious carapace in an effort

    After this is done, rip off some of their legs and eat them. They'll regenerate it later.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:36 No.9368444
    Unless this pisses off Wavemaker. Then no. But if Wavemaker is strict, but fair, then go ahead.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:36 No.9368451
    finish fight, keep a set of squid mandibles as trophy, make the raiding party the main course.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:38 No.9368504
    You thrust your claw into the last squid's mouth, and rip its beak right out. Blood fills the water around you as the pathetic thing attempts to wrestle itself free of your grasp. It goes limp in your arms as the tide of crustaceans parts in a circle surrounding you.

    You hold the beak high before tossing it to ClawClaw, you brings it to the trophy hall.

    You got your first trophy!

    Your dinner guests share nervous looks.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:38 No.9368508
    After the fight is over I request a layout of our holdings and our next possible coarse of action.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:41 No.9368564
    Declare "This could be our future! A sea without the fear of the wretched squid! The terrifying shark a mere clown fish! The Eels nothing more than rope! This is our future join me in making a Crustacean Utopia together!"
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:42 No.9368565
    Do not demonstrate our brutality any further. We are known across the land purely for our brutality, we must treat them with the utmost benevolence. Throw them a feast, and allow them their choice of our finest mates, lobster, shrimp, or crab.
    Also, give them a fragment of our molted carapace, for them to take back to their clans and venerate.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:42 No.9368573
    Your possessions:
    IRON LAIR (early phase), stretches to the East and West.
    30 mantis shrimp including 5 veterans of the Claw Coven.
    A bigass pistol and claw for fightan'
    Cape of seaweed
    Squid Beak trophy
    Lobster Steed
    Lobster breeder
    Enough armor for roughly 100 crustaceans of varying size
    Food stores capable of supporting 4 feasts or 2 weeks of normal consumption.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:44 No.9368612
    You perform the "Shining Scuttle," a dance saved for moments of great oratory and passion. Enthralled by your vision of a better tomorrow for all of crustacean-kind, the mob clacks their claws and scuttles about excitedly in support of you.

    You just got 80 new subjects.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:46 No.9368657
    Right then.

    Do these, epic speach and give our guests a gift so they spread the word of our greatness. No feast though, need to save food.

    Next we should get to work on upgrading our lair and setting up a farm and hunting parties so we can sustain our new empire.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:49 No.9368708
    To be precise, you have:
    55 mantises (25 newbies) including 5 veterans
    20 new lobsters
    15 pistol shrimp
    20 crabs
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:49 No.9368710
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:49 No.9368727
    >80 new subjects
    >2 weeks of food for 30
    Oh shit. Let's not feast then, just have a meal and head back out hunting. adding the finest warriors of the new subjects as junior members of the Claw Coven.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:52 No.9368764

    We were once a Crabby Warlord who sought nothing more than bloodshed! Now we are building a Grand Civilization!
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:52 No.9368769
    Your lobsters are creatures bred for battle. Their hardened shells and vicious claws will be of great help. They also serve as strong laborers.
    Role: Labor and heavy support

    Pistol shrimp are nimble, deadly, and make effective ranged fighters. They are weak in close combat and are not generally helpful for labor.
    Role: Long-range support

    Mantises are bread-and-butter shrimp. They pack a punch, literally, and can act as effective laborers.
    Role: Elite troops and labor

    Crabs are useful for close combat and labor. Their hard carapaces will protect them, while their claws will keep enemies tangled up in melee combat. They also make good laborers, and are skilled in agriculture (?)
    Role: basic troops and labor
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:53 No.9368795
    You are now manually picturing a Helm's Deep scenario involving crustaceans vs cephalopods.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:53 No.9368800
    This new empire shall be called... what shall we call this most holy empire?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:55 No.9368827
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:55 No.9368833
    And as an aside. I started this quest last night out of utter boredom. I figured, "Well what the fuck, I'll see where /tg/ takes being a huge ass crab." I totally didn't expect it to take off like this. Thanks to everyone who has been participating in the creation of the Crab Empire.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:56 No.9368838
    Its beautiful.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:57 No.9368861
    Fa/tg/uys love crabs I guess. Either way I think /tg/ is having fun with this.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)22:58 No.9368893
    this is the best quest ever. the originality is refreshing
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)22:59 No.9368902
    So how will the labor be divided? Your mantises (the 30 that have been with you the whole time) are knowledgeable and learned in the ways of crafting. They can direct your laborers and will do the best job patching up your defenses. You have 12 females and 18 males.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)23:00 No.9368910
    Is there a lesser non- crustacean meat source that isn't going to fight back, kind of like a cow, or a pig, or chicken of the sea...Tuna.

    I say we start farming and livestock next.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)23:01 No.9368927
    There are schools of fish inhabiting the reefs to the northeast. You cannot use them as livestock, but hunting and gathering with keep your subjects both combat-ready and well fed.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)23:01 No.9368933
    Remember to save this in suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)23:02 No.9368934
    gather shiny rocks and fraim the enterance to our lair with them so that all who approach may know of our power and despair (or rejoice depending on the viewpoint)
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)23:02 No.9368946
    suptg seems to be down atm
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)23:03 No.9368959
    ignore this, was down is back up
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)23:03 No.9368962
    Should I do it myself or will someone else step in?

    Your most talented craftshrimp, Mantasia, will gladly create a grand entrance for you provided you can supply her with shiny things and cool trophies.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)23:05 No.9368979
    food takes time to grow, have her start the farms, entrance later.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)23:05 No.9368980
    The lobsters will obviously be for heavy lifting/moving. The crabs will be the grunt workers, split in even groups to facilitate working on one project from multiple angles.

    Can we use our mighty intelligence to create simple tools such as levers, pulleys, ect. to further our progress?
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)23:05 No.9368983
    Lobsters should work on building a ring of rocks and coral around our domain, or at least the area directly around our IRON LAIR. All crabs should farm due to food need, and pistol shrimp should train on small cephalopods and the like. Mantis shrimp continue whatever they were doing before.
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)23:07 No.9369021
    Ok, Send our crabs out to work on the kelp farm (if we dont have one send them out to work on collecting kelp and planting it closer to our lair)

    lobsters will work on expanding our fortress, digging down below the ship for storage and bending the metal where they can for sleeping quaters.

    We will send pistol shrip out hunting for fish.

    We shall go south and hunt squip along with our mantises.
    >> Crabmaster !vuOBu6g15U 04/22/10(Thu)23:09 No.9369057

    Also, new thread:
    >> Anonymous 04/22/10(Thu)23:09 No.9369069
    seconded, Lets us slaughter the foul cephalopods for daring to attack our fortress!

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