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Sorry I'm slow, everyone, I'm just trying really hard to be impartial and not go THIS FAG WAS A DOUCHE, HE WAS SO DOUCHE HE SHAT SATANIC SPONGES THAT YIFFED IN THE DOUCHEFIELDS.
I tell him to just get his stuff, and get the fuck out. He whined about it until the one girl's boyfriend hauls off and just HITS him, a big, open-handed smack, across the face. Now, the furry player is this sort of greasy, blubbery type, and the boyfriend is this little, kinda lanky nerd, but I guess nobody had ever hit him before because he just goes red, starts shaking. I tell him again to get the fuck out, because I can see that at least one of our female players is in borderline shock and the boyfriend is having one of those guy-who-isn't usually-angry things where he's on the verge of just snapping. Furry goes "it's my art, you can't question it like that, art is art." I tell him I don't care what it is, it doesn't belong at my table, and that this isn't a place for him to jack off or play harem anime. I ask which game they were playing, seriously prepared to make a FATAL joke, he responds DEAD SERIOUSLY with "Ironclaw! We all play Ironclaw, and this happens all the time, and nobody makes a big deal when it does because our fandom doesn't have human taboos about sex."
So I tell him flat-out that this is why we are never playing Ironclaw, why he isn't welcome in my house anymore, and why if he doesn't get the fuck out I'm going to call the police. He snatches up his stuff and leaves, really slowly, doing this sort of whine-grumble about how we're all assholes. Just as he's going for the door, the boyfriend suddenly jumps onto the table and off the other side (I'd normally yell at someone for that, but in this case it was justified, runs toward him, and does this awkward kick right to his tailbone, knocking him out onto the front step, tears his dropped character sheet in half, and slams the door. I was a dick, /tg/, I hid a smile.