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  • File : 1272672700.jpg-(113 KB, 600x900, ohnwur.jpg)
    113 KB Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:11 No.9534697  
    You wake up.

    It is nine in the morning, according to the digital clock on the bedside table. For a moment you almost panic, thinking you're late for work--but then you remember that it's Saturday. Silly you.

    There is nothing strange about this.

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:12 No.9534707
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:12 No.9534722
    then go back to sleep
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:14 No.9534740
    >Waking up
    >Nine in the morning
    There is something stange about this.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:14 No.9534746

    Get up and cook BACON.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:14 No.9534751
         File1272672899.jpg-(32 KB, 128x126, 1240537814313.jpg)
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    Go... back to sleep
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:15 No.9534759
    check for magic
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:15 No.9534764
         File1272672932.png-(93 KB, 750x750, SwhatamIlookingat0.png)
    93 KB
    Good sir I do not believe this is a actual quest.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:15 No.9534766
    Sleep until noon, obviously.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:15 No.9534767
    This happened to me today!

    Well, I wondered what the time was, then went back to sleep. Don't start work at 9 anyway, as that is for chumps.

    Sleep then Internet, my good Anon.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:16 No.9534779
    Fix one packet of raisin spice Quaker oatmeal.
    Clean and polish the sink, bathtub, shower door, refridgerator, toaster oven, microwave, oven, and countertops.
    Eat now-cooled oatmeal.
    >> Lace !Z8CM53dU66 04/30/10(Fri)20:16 No.9534787
    >Alarm clock
    This is very wrong. I wake up two hours before my alarm goes off, no matter when it's set. The alarm is my get out of bed time, not my wake up time... most unnerving.
    Wait a minute! My clock is analogue!

    WHERE AM I!?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:17 No.9534796

    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:22 No.9534868
         File1272673336.jpg-(115 KB, 600x900, 5f2n8o.jpg)
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    Breakfast! Of course. You're a bit hungry, after all. You think you might head downstairs and make some...bacon, maybe? It's not the healthiest thing in the world, but it's alright to be treated from time to time, right?

    You slip out of your king-sized bed and stumble down the stairs to the kitchen. The kitchen table is cluttered with letters and such you've been meaning to read--but you can do that later. Right now, food is much more important.

    There should be some frozen bacon in the freezer. Alternatively, there should be a packet of oatmeal in the cabinet next to the freezer.

    There is nothing strange about this.

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> Good Old Developer 04/30/10(Fri)20:23 No.9534892
    Remember that THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE.
    So we shall eat to ready ourself so we can fight.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:23 No.9534897
    eat the bacon raw and proceed to search fro a lighter or matches so we can burn the letters
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:25 No.9534932
    I don't even have an alarm clock. Why am I not just coming in from partying all night at this time?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:27 No.9534974
    Alright, I concede the oatmeal to the bacon just because I've never done a quest thread before. BRING ON THE BACON!

    Its being cooked in the oven dammit. Baked, like it says on the fucking package.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:28 No.9534981
    Check for eggs.
    Cook bacon, then cook eggs in the bacon grease.

    Also, toast some bread. Read letters while eating.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:31 No.9535041
         File1272673893.jpg-(142 KB, 600x900, dgl6qs.jpg)
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    This morning, you feel like bacon. Yeah, that should be easy enough. You open the freezer.

    The bacon, unfortunately, is trapped behind a large carton of chocolate ice cream. Damn it, not again--it's always such a pain to pull out, since the carton is just a little big taller than the shelf it's on.

    You don't even like chocolate ice cream.

    There's some squeezing and grunting involved, but you finally have your bacon, and there's a frying pan in the drawer next to the stove. You put everything in its right place and wait for your meat to cook.

    There is nothing strange about this.

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:32 No.9535054
    >eggs cooked in bacon grease
    The first time I ever made bacon, I didn't realize you didn't have to grease the pan first, so I threw in some butter and cooked it in that. Then cooked some eggs in the butter/bacon grease.

    It was the greatest breakfast of my life.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:33 No.9535070
    >There is nothing strange about this.
    Now I'm starting to get paranoid
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:34 No.9535104

    There isn't anything strange about that though.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:35 No.9535111
    the pictures lead me to believe we are levitating whilst doing this, so i propose we check for levitation
    >> Alpharius 04/30/10(Fri)20:35 No.9535123
    whether or not I'm levitating right now can wait, I want some fucking bacon.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:36 No.9535137


    My daughter's been up since ~5:30AM and probably made her morning diaper 0-15 minutes after waking up. It's also sure as hell that my good for nothing wife hasn't heard her crying and taken care of shit (literally). I rush into the nursery room while trying to figure out how I could have slept through the problem.
    >> Alpharius 04/30/10(Fri)20:37 No.9535148
    too late, you already decided to make bacon
    >> Halfwing !!Slarp0p0hVx 04/30/10(Fri)20:37 No.9535150
    And some eggs, with a side of toast.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:38 No.9535166
    >There's some squeezing and grunting involved, but you finally have your bacon, and there's a frying pan in the drawer next to the stove. You put everything in its right place and wait for your meat to cook.

    Vaguely erotic.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:39 No.9535179
    Ah, saturday. I go back to sleep.

    When I wake up again, I turn to the laptop I got setup next to my bed and browse /tg/
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:39 No.9535186
    >Vaguely erotic

    so, nothing strange here...
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:42 No.9535237
    I get the strange feeling this thread is going to turn into bacon porn... I'm not sure I have a problem with that.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:44 No.9535271
    I think op left because we figured out about our superpowers to early.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:46 No.9535302
         File1272674779.jpg-(110 KB, 600x900, 14mbehe.jpg)
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    Of course, you aren't levitating. That would be silly!

    Soon enough, your bacon is ready, fat and all. You fetch a plate and some utensils from the drawers and sit at the kitchen table to begin your meal.

    There is a pile of letters on the kitchen table, still unread. From where you are seated, you can see downstairs, to the first floor--the end of your kitchen is a little alcove, with a railed off view to the room below.

    The television set downstairs is still broken. You'll probably have to buy a new one--it doesn't look like the sort of thing you can call a repairman for.

    There is nothing strange about this.

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:47 No.9535318
    cook letters in bacon grease, then eat to finish of a wonderful breakfast
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:47 No.9535320
    Is anyone else vaguely reminded of IncestQuest?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:51 No.9535378
    does our stairs have banisters?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:51 No.9535389
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:52 No.9535399
    >kitchen is upstairs
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:57 No.9535474
    how is the tv broken, we need more detail
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)20:57 No.9535487
    Read the mail. See if we can find a good deal for a new tv.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:02 No.9535560
         File1272675763.jpg-(132 KB, 600x900, 301hu9g.jpg)
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    The stairway downstairs down have a banister. Only one, though--the other side is set against the wall. The stairway upstairs doesn't have any railings at all.

    It's a three-story house. The room with the television set is downstairs--you can never remember if they call that the family room or the living room. The kitchen is on the second story, where you are, and the bedroom is upstairs.

    There are other rooms besides those three, of course.

    The television screen is shattered, or maybe melted. Somewhere between the two. There are scattered bits of plastic on the floor around it where pieces of the frame have broken off.

    You check over the mail as you eat your breakfast. A letter from your cousin Bobby, a letter from Idelle, a fashion catalog, and a pizza ad. Nothing too important. Nothing about electronics, either. That would've been convenient, right?

    There is nothing strange about this.

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:03 No.9535571
    let's try
    is our mother a boneless squid person?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:06 No.9535606
         File1272675963.jpg-(128 KB, 600x900, sqi540.jpg)
    128 KB
    Your parents live in the next city over. They're perfectly normal folks. You visit from time to time.

    There is nothing strange about this.

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:06 No.9535619
    Is perfectly normal defined as boneless squid person?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:07 No.9535633
    attempt to be the train
    perfectly normally
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:09 No.9535661
    ok, kick out one of the banister supports rails (the little vertical poles)

    pick up shattered glass or plastic from floor of the tv.

    now look for string, superglue, or duck tape so we can make a spear
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:10 No.9535678
    See what bobby has to say.
    >> sage sage 04/30/10(Fri)21:13 No.9535712
    Quest thread
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:14 No.9535720
    Who the fuck is Idalle?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:17 No.9535767
         File1272676670.jpg-(129 KB, 900x600, akkeme.jpg)
    129 KB
    You finish the last of your bacon and put your plate and utensils into the sink. You know you ought to put them straight in the dishwasher, but you can do that later.

    Of course your mother isn't a boneless squid person. Nobody you know is a boneless squid person! That would be strange. And very silly.

    You're not a train, and will never be a train, probably. How would a human being become a train, anyway? That is also very silly.

    You kick at one of the support poles for the downstairs stairway banister.

    Unfortunately, it is made of metal, so all you get is a stubbed toe.

    Idelle is Lucy's mother.

    You open the letter from Bobby, your deadbeat cousin. It's just as you expect--starts out normal enough, how are you, how's the parents, how's the family--and then segues awkwardly into a request for some money. You roll your eyes and throw the envelope into the trash.

    There is nothing strange about this.

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:19 No.9535781
    damn metal banisters ruining my spear making plans...

    is there anything else in the house that looks like it would make a good spear?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:19 No.9535782
    Lucy, out childhood friend that we tried to kiss on the train tracks?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:21 No.9535808
    Who is lucy and are we friend zoned with her?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:26 No.9535875
         File1272677185.jpg-(76 KB, 600x900, nmzx90.jpg)
    76 KB
    Don't be silly. The nearest train tracks are miles to the north--and it isn't likely the state'll build any more anytime soon, not in this economy.

    You're pretty sure you don't know anyone named Lucy. At least, not now. Maybe back in college or high school, perhaps...?

    There is nothing strange about this.

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:28 No.9535898
    colletc borken glass and plastic from tv into a bowl, we wouldnt want anyone getting hurt.

    also, check for clothing, are we naked at the moment?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:30 No.9535931
    no fear, look into the eye of tomorrow, now fear, listen to the wails of yesteryear, know fear
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:33 No.9535969
    I assume this means that OP is the character?
    Pretty sweet idea man.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:33 No.9535970
    Open the letter
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:34 No.9535983

    Also, do we have a face?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:36 No.9536030
         File1272677808.jpg-(172 KB, 900x600, 16bim0z.jpg)
    172 KB
    You are wearing a pair of very, very casual shorts--the kind with elastic about the waist--and a ratty T-shirt you should have thrown out years ago. You're pretty sure it used to be blue, not grey.

    You take a bowl and get to collecting the broken glass and plastic around the TV--you wouldn't want anybody to step on them and hurt themselves, would you?

    Ironically, by the time you're done, you've ended up stepping on a few pieces yourself. Still, you did't get your feet cut open or anything, so that's pretty much a net gain, maybe.

    You start to open the letter--and then stop. The letter isn't addressed to you, and it'd be rude to read somebody else's mail. You set the letter aside.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:38 No.9536053
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:38 No.9536059
         File1272677915.jpg-(182 KB, 900x600, 23tmv77.jpg)
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    There is nothing strange about this.

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:39 No.9536077
    Well, first I feel pretty disappointed that that wasn't an awesome clue with a great buildup.

    Then I carry on with whatever shit I normally do.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:40 No.9536090
    check for more clothing, maybe something gentlemanly, like a suit
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:42 No.9536113


    >> Yelling Guy 04/30/10(Fri)21:43 No.9536132
    >WAKE UP AT 9 AM
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:44 No.9536143
    Why am I awake at 9?

    I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, piss, wash my face.

    Sit at computer.

    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:44 No.9536150
    Is there anyone else who lives there with us?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:45 No.9536176
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:45 No.9536179
    Wait. We don't know who lucy is, but we know who her mother is?

    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:49 No.9536220
         File1272678548.jpg-(135 KB, 600x900, n3xapj.jpg)
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    You do not have a wife.

    You head upstairs to take a shower.

    You keep all your clothes scattered around in the appropriate drawers, which defeats the purpose of your laundry being folded in the first place--but oh well. You fetch a set of casual clothes--shirt and pants--and some underwear.

    There is a single panty in the back corner of the undergarments drawer. You only see it because the bit of lace at the edge contrasts with your quite laceless briefs. The juxtaposition is a jarring, for some reason--you shrug it off and go to the bathroom.

    Idelle is Lucy's mother.

    There is nothing strange about this.

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> TheLionHearted !HAGYQOveO. 04/30/10(Fri)21:51 No.9536247
    o contraire
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)21:52 No.9536254
    What about roomates?

    Who was the letter addressed to?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:00 No.9536373
         File1272679238.jpg-(109 KB, 577x480, window_2009.jpg)
    109 KB
    Your shower is quick--you don't want to waste water, and the bill last month was way too high. other than that, nothing out of the ordinary occurs, except halfway through when you realize you're using the wrong shampoo.

    "For dry or damaged hair"--you've never been able to tell the difference between this and normal shampoo, but your hair isn't dry or damaged, so...

    After your shower, you head back downstairs to the kitchen and pick up the letter from Idelle. Even if you shouldn't read the mail itself, it should be okay to read the outside of the envelope, right?

    The envelope is addressed to Lucy.

    There is nothing strange about this.

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:02 No.9536391
    examine panties
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:04 No.9536423
    realise we are in fact lucy, then schlick
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:05 No.9536440
    Was it delivered to the wrong house? Or is it our address?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:05 No.9536441
    search house for normal items like ID, deoderant, shoes, panties, pens, porn,
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:06 No.9536453
    do i have a car?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:06 No.9536458
    eat the oatmeal.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:07 No.9536463
    Set all on fire
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:09 No.9536488
         File1272679752.jpg-(71 KB, 414x500, Falling-Artist-Suspended--001.jpg)
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    You've already eaten breakfast.

    You return to your bedroom.

    The panties are white and lacy and otherwise unremarkable. You put them back in the undergarments drawer.

    Now, you're pretty sure you aren't a woman, and you're definitely pretty sure you aren't a woman named Lucy. You're pretty sure you don't know anyone named Lucy. At least, not now. Maybe back in college or high school, perhaps...?

    The address on the letter is yours, it's just addressed to Lucy.

    There is nothing strange about this.

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:10 No.9536507
    Jump out the bedroom window. Assume a divers position in the air.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:11 No.9536520
    >You're pretty sure you don't know anyone named Lucy. At least, not now. Maybe back in college or high school, perhaps...?

    so we do know of a woman called lucy, maybe not having regular contact but we do know who she is,

    lets start making a shrine to her, we can use the panties and letter as a start
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:12 No.9536526
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:13 No.9536535
    collect everything useful in teh house into one room, barricade the house and prepare for a zombie apocalypse
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:14 No.9536564
    Do we know who the pantys belong to?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:16 No.9536579
    i punch u in the face faggot for posting a thread not relating to /tg/ whatsoever and reported faggot
    >> Arty 04/30/10(Fri)22:17 No.9536590
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:18 No.9536606

    quest thread is /tg/ related.

    so by this time it's probably 10:30. do we have any friends to call up?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:20 No.9536635
    Immediately panic again because yes I do work on Saturdays. Afterward I calm down because I don't work till 9.5.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:21 No.9536660

    oh shut up.

    op? are you there?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:23 No.9536674
    It seems OP has left.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:23 No.9536675

    wait what? pictures are certainly changing....
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:25 No.9536689
         File1272680712.jpg-(38 KB, 418x500, Kerry-Skarbakka-falls-dow-012.jpg)
    38 KB


    ...no, actually. You don't. You didn't even think about that. They're just panties, right? Just...

    You don't know who these belong to.

    Shaking off the brief feeling of confusion, you pick up the phone and call your friend Gene. He's been bothering you to spend a night out at the bar, but you've always been a bit too busy with other things. Today seems like it ought to be free, though.

    Gene picks up on the second ring. "Hello?"

    You greet him cheerfully, and ask if he wants to head out to the bar later tonight.

    Gene laughs. "The lady finally let you a weekend off, huh?"

    There is n...hold on--

    Actually, there's something a little...

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:26 No.9536704
    look to see if we wear a wedding ring
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:27 No.9536715
    Question him. What lady does he mean, again?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:29 No.9536738
         File1272680958.jpg-(39 KB, 300x360, gene_simmons.jpg)
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    see if we can recall what our friend gene looks like
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:29 No.9536740

    SAN check, plox. after the smashed/melted tv that nobody bothered asking about, and now not knowing about the woman that is apparently keeping us on a short leash, there is something strange about this.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:30 No.9536757
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:32 No.9536793
         File1272681177.jpg-(62 KB, 468x390, Kerry-Skarbakka-falls-fro-005.jpg)
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    You do not have a wife.

    There is tan line at the base of your ring finger. It is probably not of any consequence.

    You ask Gene what lady he's talking about.

    He chuckles. "You know," he says, "your wife?"

    You don't respond.

    Gene's voice becomes slightly concerned. "Lucy? You--hey, are you feeling alright?"

    What do you do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:34 No.9536802
    Got to go, feminine issues.

    Sit down with a cup of coffee and TRY AND REMEMBER SHIT
    >> TheLionHearted !HAGYQOveO. 04/30/10(Fri)22:34 No.9536805
    "Who is this?"
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:34 No.9536807

    >> TheLionHearted !HAGYQOveO. 04/30/10(Fri)22:35 No.9536821
    He wasn't calling us Lucy he was suggesting the name Lucy... I.E. "Your wife... You know... Lucy?"
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:36 No.9536828

    Check freezer for body-parts we missed, crisper drawer too.

    Check lawn and garden for dig marks, loose soil.

    Check house for basement.

    Check broken TV for blood or other viscera. Check windows for breakage while we're at it.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:37 No.9536837
    Ah, well all right then.

    Also, cue Talking Heads
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:37 No.9536845

    Check third floor, too.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:40 No.9536882
    >There is tan line at the base of your ring finger. It is probably not of any consequence.
    >not of any consequence.

    this is of extreme consequence.

    also something is strange here....
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:40 No.9536889
    Check the attic, basement, and refrigerator. Also, do we(I? Him? What do I call this guy...) remember how the TV broke?
    >> TheLionHearted !HAGYQOveO. 04/30/10(Fri)22:43 No.9536922
    The TVs not broke. Just look at it. Its right there, just sitting there.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:47 No.9536970
         File1272682047.jpg-(58 KB, 417x500, Kerry-Skarbakka-falls-off-013.jpg)
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    You make a lot of flustered noises and then, embarrassingly, just hang up. Gene will probably think you've gone around the bend, but you think you've gone around the bend, so that ought to be alright, shouldn't it?

    You check the freezer and drawers for--something. You even yank the carton of chocolate ice cream (which you don't even eat) out of its shelf, sending it skidding across the kitchen floor.

    Nothing. Nothing that ought not to be there, anyway.

    You don't have an attic or basement, but you check in the backyard--the room with the television has a big glass sliding door leading right outside. The rosebushes outside have been stomped on, and you can see where a lot of someones trampled on the grass.

    In the mangled mess of the roses is a large footprint and a piece of something wooden.

    The television is the only thing that's broken--it looks like someone melted a hole straight through the front. No blood, though.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:48 No.9536990
    Investigate wooden thing
    >> Arty 04/30/10(Fri)22:50 No.9537016
    >You don't have an attic or basement
    >no basement

    You must live where they get tornadoes. You know, the places where it might actually be handy to have a basement but nobody does.
    >> TheLionHearted !HAGYQOveO. 04/30/10(Fri)22:50 No.9537041
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:51 No.9537047
    melted through,

    bullets dont melt through things
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:52 No.9537065
         File1272682350.jpg-(35 KB, 417x500, Kerry-Skarbakka-is-engulf-011.jpg)
    35 KB
    You and Lucy were throwing the football around the house. She missed, and it hit the television.

    ...you don't have a football. You don't even like football.

    The wooden thing is a splintered half of...you don't know what. Some sort of thin rod, smooth on the outside. It doesn't look like it's important in any way--

    The broken end is glowing.

    The inside of the rod is glowing.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:53 No.9537089
    Well hell, bring it inside and set it on the Kitchen table. Investigate interior of the rod on the way
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:54 No.9537100
    investigate wooden thing further
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:55 No.9537110
         File1272682505.jpg-(50 KB, 410x607, memento cover.jpg)
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    >This thread
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)22:56 No.9537144
    I was thinking Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, really.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:00 No.9537190
    We know Lucy is our wife. Or, at least, that's what Gene says.

    We can open the letter from Idelle.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:03 No.9537235
         File1272683011.jpg-(41 KB, 397x500, Kerry-Skarbakka-jumps-fro-007.jpg)
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    It's not burning--it's just glowing. Dimly glowing, but glowing. You hold a corner of Bobby's letter directly to it, but it doesn't seem to burn it in any way.

    It's just glowing.

    You open the letter from Idelle.

    ...it's disappointingly ordinary. Idelle just asks Lucy how she's doing and makes a bunch of small talk about what she's been up to and the latest gossip and the like. Nothing that seems important.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:05 No.9537269
    Well... Shit. Investigate TV?
    >> TheLionHearted !HAGYQOveO. 04/30/10(Fri)23:07 No.9537297
    If its a bullet without a copper jacket, it would have melted during flight, and could have melted/shattered the glass.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:08 No.9537315
         File1272683326.jpg-(92 KB, 412x500, Kerry-Skarbakka-jumps-fro-009.jpg)
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    The Television looks like it's been melted through. All the way through. In fact--

    Yep, it goes all the way to the back. Granted, whatever passed through seems to have lost a lot of its inertia, did it did make it to the back, if the drippy (albeit hardened) plastic is any sign.

    You carry the wooden thing with you as you investigate. You're not sure, but you think you can feel...humming? Thrumming? Something, from it. Maybe.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:09 No.9537329
    Hell, why not. Point it at the TV
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:12 No.9537379
         File1272683573.jpg-(79 KB, 417x500, Kerry-Skarbakka-jumps-off-010.jpg)
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    You point it at the TV.

    The humming gets...more humminger. You quickly discover that the humming increases the closer you get to the television, and fainter when you back away--

    Unless you back away towards the glass sliding door.

    Doesn't seem to matter if you point it or just grab it, though. That glowy bit seems to glow a little brighter to close you are to the door and television too, but it's hard to tell. You're careful not to touch it.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:14 No.9537404
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:15 No.9537423
    Windows are often portals to other worlds... who knows?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:18 No.9537472
    Touch sliding glass door with the glowy bit of the rod
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:18 No.9537473
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:20 No.9537503
         File1272684039.jpg-(52 KB, 630x315, Kerry-Skarbakka-jumps-off-002.jpg)
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    Nothing happens.

    Same with the TV.

    The glowy bit just gets a little brighter, probably.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:21 No.9537516
    Ok. ell, I'm out of ideas. Anyone?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:23 No.9537542
    Did we just find a wand?
    >> Alpharius 04/30/10(Fri)23:24 No.9537561
    point the rod at my head
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:26 No.9537590
    Start going through the house, room by room, drawer by drawer. Anything that doesn't seem like it should be there, or we can't explain how it got there, we bring to the living room (family room?) and lay out on the floor.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:27 No.9537598
    Call Gene back, tell him we got really drunk/high/whatever last night, and are confused. Have him fill in the apparent blanks in our memory and worldview.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:31 No.9537693

    no, it wouldn't have. the friction of the bullet in the barrel is not enough to melt it, much less the friction from the air. lrn2ballistics.


    this is a good idea.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:34 No.9537747
         File1272684868.jpg-(50 KB, 474x390, Kerry-Skarbakka-jumps-off-003.jpg)
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    You collect: the pair of panties, a some shirts and pants that are too small to fit you, the letter to Lucy, the carton of chocolate ice cream, shampoo and conditioner for dry or damaged hair, a small blue shaver, a bottle of perfume, and the fashion catalog--also addressed to Lucy.

    You gather all these items downstairs--and then think better of it, and put them all upstairs, on the king-sized bed.

    You point the object at your head, and then bring the glowing end towards yourself, slowly. Somehow, this feels like a bad idea. But you're probably worrying over nothing--it didn't burn the letter, after all, so it shouldn't harm you in any w--
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:35 No.9537763
    Oh my god I love this thread.

    I second this. This is a great idea.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:36 No.9537787

    >shouldn't harm you in any w--

    Oh shit. Did we just die?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:37 No.9537795
    Jesus, what? We've got ONE guy asking for this and... okay, whatever, I'm going to end my butthurt there.

    Please tell me memories come rushing back.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:38 No.9537812

    If they don't come back-- or atleast do something epic/hint things I am going to be PISSED.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:39 No.9537841
         File1272685179.jpg-(119 KB, 356x357, suspense.jpg)
    119 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:40 No.9537860
         File1272685217.gif-(156 KB, 800x902, 1Wflm.gif)
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    You wake up.

    You don't know what time it is, but it is dark.

    You can smell chocolate somewhere nearby.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:41 No.9537884
    Assuming we are okay, take out our cell phone, call lucy, and calmly explain everything to her. Ask her if she has any ideas about what has happened.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:43 No.9537936
         File1272685438.jpg-(155 KB, 1024x683, RIFT_011.jpg)
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    You stumble downstairs. Nearly fall down the stairs. Too dark. Feels like someone opened up your skull and put in a poisonous jellyfish or two to frolic.

    You still don't know who Lucy is, and there is something terribly wrong there. Also, your cellphone won't turn on.

    The kitchen light won't turn on, either.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:44 No.9537946

    (Assuming this is OP)
    Check your clothing pockets for a cell phone and check the time. Afterwords examine your surroundings-- are there any signs that indicate this is a dangerous place? If we don't have a cellphone use a watch or look for someone to ask the time for.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:44 No.9537952
    Lucys ice cream melted... shes gonna be pissed
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:45 No.9537957

    FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU check alarm clock-- are we on the bed still?

    is our head injured? is there anything else in the house that the wand seems to react to?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:49 No.9538034

    Oh well. Nevermind the assuming this is OP post.

    I didn't know we were still in the house.

    What do we have on our person?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:50 No.9538048
         File1272685818.jpg-(50 KB, 470x319, 6a00d83451b8c369e2012876f93467(...).jpg)
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    Your cellphone is dead. Your digital clock is dead. Your analog clock is dead.

    Your bedroom light is dead. Your bathroom light is dead.

    Your telephone is dead.

    You find the wand on the bedroom floor. It apparently rolled off your bed when you...passed out, or whatever happened. The glowy bit is...no longer glowing. You don't feel any slight movement or anything from it anymore, either.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:50 No.9538052
    We need to get some medical attention...
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:53 No.9538107
    Fuck. Do we know where a flashlight is? Can we remember what we were doing before?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:53 No.9538108
    Did we just turn ourself into a wizard?

    Was our first spell an emp.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:54 No.9538132

    roll over and return to sleep.
    9 am is prime lucid dreaming time. Maybe if I'm lucky I can resume that dream from last night where I'm at the carnival.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:57 No.9538168

    Okay so, from this it is safe to assume the power is out.
    We could have been struck by lightning?

    Slowly stand up and grab the rod, any sort of wallet/ID -- making sure to feel the walls and making your way out of the house into the livingroom/first floor.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:58 No.9538183

    slobro is slow
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:59 No.9538191
    Love this thread. Please don't die.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/10(Fri)23:59 No.9538201
         File1272686388.gif-(15 KB, 275x300, slowpoke-pokemon.gif)
    15 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:01 No.9538223

    Same bro.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:02 No.9538238
         File1272686525.gif-(2.29 MB, 230x157, 6a00d83451b8c369e2012876f94dd9(...).gif)
    2.29 MB
    It seems like you woke up right where you...fell asleep, or passed out, or whatever happened when you did whatever you did with whatever that was.

    The pain in your head starts to go down a little bit--not a lot, though. Still pounding. You grab a couple of Advil from the bathroom--you used to use Tylenol, but you stopped after she told you it could hurt your liver--

    Hold on, what was that?

    You rack your brains for a clearer memory, but you can't come up with anything. Maybe you'd get something if your headache was gone...or maybe you wouldn't. Who knows? You gulp the Advil dry.

    You take the wand, and your wallet.

    You go downstairs to and fetch the flashlight from the garage. It's dead, of course.

    While you're in the garage, you think you can hear something from outside. Something like...something scraping against cement, then coming to a stop.

    You hear a few more of those somethings.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:05 No.9538299

    Zombie apocalypse?

    Look for some sort of weapon, or anything that looks like it's written in a strange language-- or if it looks like a spell of sorts.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:05 No.9538300
    Shit pants, hope to god its not pyramid head.
    Thanks for the bump kimmo
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:05 No.9538308
    Look for a bat. Cricket, baseball, softball (did Lucy play softball? Who's Lucy?) and for god's sake, stay the fuck away from the garage door.

    In fact, leave the garage once we find a suitable bludgeoning instrument and fucking jam it shut somehow. I don't like the sound of that.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:10 No.9538375
         File1272687058.gif-(1.64 MB, 300x205, 6a00d83451b8c369e2012876f91b3f(...).gif)
    1.64 MB
    This is your house. You don't have anything like that--anything strange.

    At least, you're pretty sure.

    The closest thing to a good bludgeoning instrument in the garage is the gardening shears, and those are rather unwieldy, what with their odd angle and all.

    There is, however, an iron poker in the fireplace you've never actually started a fire in. You reenter the house and grab that--

    And hear three sharp knocks on your door.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:13 No.9538407
         File1272687185.jpg-(35 KB, 254x443, Funny_Pictures_General_Begging(...).jpg)
    35 KB

    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:14 No.9538423
    Okay, memory loss, magic(?), blackouts, and some kind of scraping.

    Any theorys?
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:15 No.9538441

    Wait a few minutes-- making no noise incase whatever the hell is out there is dangerous.

    If they call out your name or knock again try to peek out a crack in the door or window.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:15 No.9538448
    We use our own archive.

    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:15 No.9538450
    Look out the peep hole to see who it is. Let's not get too suspicious of other people - after all, they seem to have a firm grip on reality.

    Of course, we'll keep the poker in our hand when we do.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:16 No.9538451

    Look out window at front porch area. Alternately, exit house and VERY QUIETLY look around a corner... gonna have to consider exiting the house carefully though.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:16 No.9538467

    Oh thanks man -bookmarks-
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:17 No.9538473


    /tg/s personal archives. Only needs one request.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:17 No.9538481
    When this jerk at the door is dealt with, do you think a high school or college yearbook might help at least find the face pf this 'Lucy' chick?
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:21 No.9538532

    Go fuck yourself, /tg/ is beyond that site.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:24 No.9538570
         File1272687864.gif-(200 KB, 230x157, 6a00d83451b8c369e20120a7f62e82(...).gif)
    200 KB
    You look out the peephole.

    There are three very uncomfortable-looking men standing on your front porch. Very uncomfortable. They keep muttering and whispering to each other (too quietly for you to overhear), and all three of their faces show some degree of sheepishness.

    All of their right hands, you notice, are stuffed down the pockets of their...


    That's just...strange.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:24 No.9538573

    Sorry guys, I'm a pretty big newfag when it comes to 4chan-- especially /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:26 No.9538605

    I'm going to assume this is some sort of wizard group from the robes. Maybe they want to recruit us.

    Ask who they are.


    Open the door with the poker in hand-- gripped firmly and ready to strike if necessary.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:27 No.9538611
    Ask them what they want. Without opening the door.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:29 No.9538648
    Welcome aboard, go through the archives and see what intests you.

    If you enjoy this, check out Ruby Quest. Its in the suptg archives.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:31 No.9538668

    Also look for IncestQuest. I'm pretty sure it's the same writer.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:31 No.9538670
         File1272688275.gif-(941 KB, 230x157, 6a00d83451b8c369e20120a7f62ce0(...).gif)
    941 KB
    You call out through the door, asking who the men are. Through the peephole, you see one of them--a weary-looking man with a moustache--yell back.

    "The neighborhood watch association!"
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:34 No.9538728
    >are you a wizard.jpg
    Tell them you can see them. Ask them why a neiborhood watch are wearing robes.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:35 No.9538736
    My amnesiatic ass they are. Tell them we're fine, and that they woke us up. Then tell them to piss off.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:37 No.9538777

    Perhaps OP means night robes/bathrobes.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:41 No.9538832
    They're right it's probably perfectly normal.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:41 No.9538834
         File1272688886.jpg-(107 KB, 650x489, CRKvo.jpg)
    107 KB
    You inform the robey-men quite strongly that you don't want any.

    The men stand around the porch, looking uncomfortable and flustered. One of them--a old guy with a big, white Santa-esque beard--yells back:

    "Excuse me!"

    He pauses.

    "This is the neighborhood watch association! We were wondering if we could ask you a few questions!"

    He steps closer to the peephole, as if trying to see you back. You notice he is glowing, a little.

    Actually, all three of them are glowing. It's hard to tell, so you didn't notice at first, but--yes, they're all glowing. Blue. It sort of melds in with the night--especially with the porch light off.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:43 No.9538875
    Yes, my power is out.

    No, I don't want to donate to the neighborhood watch; my neighborhood association fees should pay for that.

    Yes, I do think you should get the fuck off my porch before I call the police.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:46 No.9538905
    Tell them you ask a question first, and if they answer, they get to ask you one.

    Why are they glowing.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:46 No.9538911
    Tell them you need to put some pants on before you can let them in.

    Go get the wand.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:47 No.9538933
    I think we're carrying the wand with us.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:49 No.9538951
    Point the rod at them through the door. Prepare for shooty DEATH.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:49 No.9538954
    How are we physicall?

    If we are strong I say we punch their faces back in

    Otherwise just go get a knife and make them glow red if you know what I mean
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:50 No.9538965



    >> epic fail guy 05/01/10(Sat)00:50 No.9538977
         File1272689449.jpg-(21 KB, 300x253, NO GUM.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:53 No.9539010
    Are WE glowing?
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:53 No.9539014
         File1272689616.jpg-(7 KB, 180x223, 180px-Lane.Mills.jpg)
    7 KB
    I'll allow it.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:55 No.9539039
    In that case we shot ourselves in the head earlier, so nothing we do now matters.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:57 No.9539074
         File1272689852.jpg-(740 KB, 2045x2880, R97u2.jpg)
    740 KB
    You are not glowing. You're pretty sure you'd be able to tell, if you were. It's dark in here.

    You already have the piece of the wand. You took it earlier, along with your wallet.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:57 No.9539081
    Well seeing as after that, everything was DEAD, that theory seems to make the most sense.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:58 No.9539085
    Lucy's body is the televison! The glass was blood spatter!
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:58 No.9539090
    Did we kill Lucy? Is the ice cream her head? Are we dead?
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)00:59 No.9539103
    OH MAN

    Yeah, all these every day objects aren't.

    TV - Body
    Ice cream - Head
    Panties - ?
    Wooden something - Bone/leg?
    Wand - Gun
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:01 No.9539120
    The men outside our door are cops/coroners/something at the crime scene after our body(s) was/were found.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:01 No.9539123

    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:02 No.9539135
    I don't think that's it.

    Interesting theory that we are now dead. I didn't know that the afterlife didn't pay it's electric bill.

    If those three guys are Psychopomp we might as well go with them.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:03 No.9539145
    Again, if this is true, we committed suicide and are now dead. NO RULES LULZ.

    Alright then, tell them they can ask on that side of the door.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:03 No.9539147
    The wood something WAS the wand... right?
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:04 No.9539159
    Point the wand/wands at them through the door.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:06 No.9539201
    >You collect: the pair of panties, a some shirts and pants that are too small to fit you, the letter to Lucy, the carton of chocolate ice cream, shampoo and conditioner for dry or damaged hair, a small blue shaver, a bottle of perfume, and the fashion catalog--also addressed to Lucy.

    >You gather all these items downstairs--and then think better of it, and put them all upstairs, on the king-sized bed.

    These are her body parts/whole body. Lay down next to her and finish this.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:07 No.9539206
    Also put the "busted tv" up there.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:08 No.9539228
    I... don't think you guys are right about this. I'm more interested in the effects of the wand and the three guys out there.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:09 No.9539244
    The wand is a gun. We shot ourselves in the head. These guys might be grim reapers or something. Who knows.

    Let them in. Let them do their job.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:12 No.9539272
    OP, don't listen to this guy. He just wants to end things.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:13 No.9539296
    Accept what we've done. Pay for our sins.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:14 No.9539301
    OP hasn't posted in a while, seeing as how we figured everything out and the mystery is gone.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:15 No.9539309
         File1272690900.jpg-(118 KB, 1280x800, 1268694615988.jpg)
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    You point the wand at the door.

    ...nothing really happens, because you're just pointing a wand at a door.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:16 No.9539332
    Thats what we thought about being able to fly...
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:24 No.9539422
    Sure are ignoring all these other posts except the one(s) that are convenient for him.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:26 No.9539446
    Tell them they can ask their questions from the comfort of the porch. We're not letting some fucking glowing guys inside.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:29 No.9539490
    theres no way he would be able to keep up with all this nonsense
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:29 No.9539494
    This, but tell them we're not letting them in 'cause we really don't feel well at all, and we don't want to spread your disease around.

    Ask them if they've seen your wife recently.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:29 No.9539495
    Slow quest is slow.

    Let's open this door and get it on. What do these fuckers want, anyway? OPEN THE DOOR. ROCK AND ROLL TIME OR ANTI CLIMAX, WE'RE GOOD TO GO.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:30 No.9539505

    >Seen my wife around?

    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:30 No.9539506
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:33 No.9539538
    We don't know we killed her, the wand is broken. Maybe one of their wizard friends tried to kill us both and we managed to break his wand and he managed to break our tv. These guys are here to finish it, looking uncomfortable because they don't usually have to come back a second time.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:33 No.9539544
         File1272692024.jpg-(53 KB, 700x481, pRhWh.jpg)
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    Decision time: Open the door, or don't open the door?
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:34 No.9539547
    You're losing us OP, it's been 3 1/2 hours.... we gotta get rollin' here. Perhaps stop spooky pic spam if you are spending any time on it?
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:34 No.9539558
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:35 No.9539565

    That's up to you OP, if this is going to take 3 1/2 hours a session, we probably want to open the door to get momentum, good or bad.

    If we can increase pace, we don't want to open the door.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:35 No.9539566
    At this point: just open the door.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:37 No.9539590
    where is the fucking door you guys keep talking about?????
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:37 No.9539605
    I don't want to open the door. But I want some kind of action, and if the only way to get that is opening the door i'm with it.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:40 No.9539649
    This is the most frustrating thing I've ever experienced.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:40 No.9539654
    Open the door.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:42 No.9539682
         File1272692577.jpg-(160 KB, 800x970, manMOS0202_800x970.jpg)
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    You put the wand in your pocket and open the door, greeting the three men as calmly as you can.

    "Hello," says the man with the beard. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm wondering if, er, perhaps you've noticed anything strange lately? I can't seem to help put notice that your, uh..."

    He gestures around behind him, towards the rest of the neighborhood (still glowing slightly blue all the while), but he can't seem to find the words.

    The man standing furthest from you--the only one out of the bunch that actually looks young--jumps in to save his friend. "The lights," he says. "The lights--as you can see, the power's gone out--we're from the neighborhood watch association, and we're just wondering if you'd noticed anything strange right before it happened."
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:44 No.9539707
    Point the wand at the closest one's face. Point blank range. "Yes."
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:44 No.9539716
    Say: "Yes. My wife's gone missing, and I'm not feeling well... and my tv exploded for some reason... and... I think I'm losing my memory..."
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:46 No.9539762
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:49 No.9539819
         File1272692956.jpg-(8 KB, 252x349, judgemillslane.jpg)
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    I'll allow it.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:49 No.9539830
    Tell them.

    They seem understanding.

    Also, give them a wand.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:53 No.9539881
    The wand is just a stick right now. It needs to be recharged.

    Tell him we were asleep when it happened. Tell them we'd invite them inside, but without the electricity... *shrug* Not much I can offer you in the way of hospitality.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:54 No.9539900

    Be upfront about weird happenings, and then point-blank the wand at one of them INCIDENTALLY, saying something like "I also found this thing, here look at it."
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:56 No.9539933
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    You point your broken half of a wand at the man with the bread and tell him that yes, you have.

    His eyes widen for a second, and then he smiles. "Ah. Well, then, I suppose that makes this much easier."

    And then, before you can react, he yanks his own hand out of his pocket.

    The object he is holding is pulsing blue-violet, but you barely have time to notice before he barks out a word you don't know--harsh, almost Latin-sounding.

    A greenish-blue light flies out of the object and hits you in the chest.

    "Well, that takes care of that," the bearded man says, and reaches for the wand in your hand.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:58 No.9539963
    Kick him in the balls, slam the door, grab his throat, and hold the wand about an inch away from his eye. And then demand that he tells you what's going on, and where the hell your wife is.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:58 No.9539967
    But it's not a wand, it's a gun, and we killed ourselves.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:59 No.9539973
    Sounds like harry potter, if that didn't kill us i think something went wrong. Maybe we're not human.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:59 No.9539979
    Tell him you don't think the wand was charged, you were just showing it to him.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)01:59 No.9539980
    wait no
    I got it he erased our memory again. that bastard!
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:01 No.9539997
    The OP's response will be "you don't recall having a wife." Tough fucking shit. You do recall something is horribly amiss, and all other outside aspects of reality are suggesting you have a wife. You also have the ability to put two and two together, and as such, you can at least figure out that screaming "where's my wife" in the guy's face will get him to explain what's going on.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:02 No.9540019
    You grab him and hold him in a choke hold, asking him about- wait, you don't recall having a wife.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:04 No.9540050
    Nope. But I sure as hell recall things that suggest I have a wife. And besides, I like video games. Shouting "where's my wife" seems almost appropriate, given the level of insanity I seem to be suffering from.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:04 No.9540058

    But seriously, now what. I try to keep hold of the mysterious stick as the stranger pulls on it.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:04 No.9540059
    Lol, you thought that was the OP
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:05 No.9540068
    No, you grab his stick as he grabs yours, and you both tug back and forth for a while, they're glowing purple heads getting more colorful as you do so
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:05 No.9540069
    Not really. No pic. I figured I should at least give some more arguments in favor of shouting "where's my wife," however.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:06 No.9540078
    Shut the fuck up with that, guy. You're reading symbolism into this that doesn't exist. There was a magical battle in your home. That's what fucking happened. Our wife was fucking stolen from us by the magical gestapo, our mind was wiped, but our wife managed to leave part of a magical object behind.

    Which we have just lost to the fucking wizard goon squad sent to retrieve it. Awesome.

    Agreed, but use the poker to take out his fucking kneecap and steal his wand from him.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:07 No.9540092
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:08 No.9540096
    A clever plan, but its easier to threaten to stab someone's eye out with a short wand than with a long poker.

    ...As such, new plan is to hit him with the poker, steal his wand, hold it in front of his eye, and demand the location of your theoretical wife.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:08 No.9540098
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:08 No.9540108
    Hypothetical wife.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:09 No.9540115
    Add some physical blows in to this. Kick to the knee, stomp on his foot, knee to the groin, headbutt, bite him. Fucker just attacked us, I want him weaponless and in massive fucking pain.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:09 No.9540118

    >you grab his stick as he grabs yours, and you both tug back and forth for a while, they're glowing purple heads getting more colorful as you do so

    Vaguely erotic, again.


    >but use the poker to take out his fucking kneecap and steal his wand from him.

    Seriously, fight fire with water. You have wands? I have a hooked piece of wrought iron. Smash that fucker, smash him good. Go down swinging.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:10 No.9540141
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    You drop your poker.

    Very calmly, more calmly than you ought to be feeling, you step forwards, out of your house.

    The bearded man steps back instinctively--then seems to realize something, a rather stupid expression flickering over his face. He looks at the wand in your hand--looks at your face--looks at the wand again--raises the blue-violet in his hand again--

    You grab him by the throat, yank him towards you, and put the splintered end of your wand very close to his eye.

    The other two men step backwards, expressions of surprise and fear on their faces--they pull their own blue-violet you-don't-know-whats out and point them at you.

    The man you've got by the throat, meanwhile, won't shut up--he keeps grunting and choking out some words you don't understand, jabbing his own blue-violet into your chest again and again. It's annoying, so you kick him in the balls.

    He stops.

    "D-don't move!" the man with the mustache yells. "Or we'll--" He uses a verb you don't understand, "--you!'
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:11 No.9540152
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    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:13 No.9540180
    Fuck it, I'm through with this. This had great potential for mindfuckery OP, when it was still possibly for all these mundane things to be a delusion for a man who'd murdered his wife, but you went with some bullshit "OH MAN, MAGIC, AND AMNESIA, SO EDGY! EVERYONE WILL REMEMBER THIS, LOL!"

    No. If it had been the murder thing, THEN it would have been memorable. But it's not, and now I'm bored and tired, so fuck you, I'm out.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:13 No.9540186
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:14 No.9540198
    I demand to know where my wife is.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:16 No.9540214
    Bite the fucker in the face and laugh wildly. Drag him inside and kick the door shut, then press him against the door.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:17 No.9540229
    Bye. The rest of us will continue enjoying the new direction the thread's taken.

    Remain calm. Keep focused on the guy in front of you. Inform the robed men that they can do whatever the hell they want, but if they don't tell you where your hypothetical wife is right the fuck now, you'll stab this guy in the eye so hard that the wand will go out the back of his skull and "verb" them both in the face.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:17 No.9540241
    Isn't he the guy who wanted to lay down with the assembled parts of his dead wife? I'm glad he left.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:19 No.9540256
    That was actually supposed to reference this:
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:20 No.9540283
    Point your finger at the mustache guy and say "Lets see what you guys tried to do to me." Then repeat the latin-y thing that santa said.
    We just turned ourselves INTO A FUCKING WAND DUDE! We no longer need a stick to channel our magic.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:24 No.9540343
    Oh. I think you might be right.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:26 No.9540385
    .... im okay with this
    i am VERY okay with this
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:29 No.9540436

    this, because i'm intrigued.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:29 No.9540437
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    You quietly inform the two men that if they don't tell you where your wife is, you're going to stab this one with the piece of wand.

    Through the eye.

    There are two different reactions to this.

    The man with the mustache yells out that word you don't know, pointing his blue-violet at your head--a glow red something else flies towards you, hits you.

    It surprises you, a little. It doesn't hurt, though.

    In fact, you feel a lot better. Your headache's gone.

    The clean-shaven man, on the other hand, pales, his eyes going wide.


    Well, you warned them.

    You drag your unfortunate victim inside your house and kick the door shut. The bastard's whimpering. You inform him that you'll give him something to whimper about, then slam him against the door and hold the splintered wand once again very very close to his eye.

    You ask him to tell you where your wife is.

    "I don't--I don't know!" the man cries.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:30 No.9540442
    >Shot self
    >shit goes wrong with electronics
    >wands not working
    >were immune to magic
    OH! FUCK! YES!
    >> Alpharius 05/01/10(Sat)02:30 No.9540445
    see, I knew pointing the wand at our head was a good idea. got the narrative flowing
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:30 No.9540459
    this thread has taught me an important lesson
    if you ever see any magical items that seems to be emitting some sort of energy, point them at your head
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:31 No.9540474
    Inform him that he better friggin inform you how to find out, as well as who his people are, what he's been doing to you, and why the hell they think the Neighborhood Watch is a good disguise, or he'll have to start wondering what he's going to do about all the Missing Eye he's going to start suffering from.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:32 No.9540485
    Wrong answer. Take the wand from him and inform him that if he does not come up with answers soon, we will introduce him to the Fireplace Poker of Truth.

    It is wise and terrible.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:33 No.9540503
    I'm laughing so hard.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:34 No.9540524
    >hit by magic
    >headache gone
    Power recharged. HUMAN WAND MODE FUCK YES!
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:36 No.9540549

    PCs are so quaint aren't they? Egregious threats of bodily harm come instantly and unceasingly!
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:38 No.9540577
    I don't see you suggesting anything. But fine, let's go in a more productive direction.

    Since he seems rather frightened at this point, he needs to tell us something helpful. Start with who the fuck he is, and who his pals outside are.
    >> Alpharius 05/01/10(Sat)02:39 No.9540600
    somebody needs to keep refreshing this on suptg
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:45 No.9540688
    Let him go, tell him that nothing he tries will work, ask him if he can shed some light on the situation (both figurativelyand litterally, its dark in here and we need answers) be sure to memorize the light spell he casts.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:48 No.9540705
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    You inform the man that if does not provide relevant information forthwith, you will hit him very hard with a fireplace poker.

    ...actually, where'd you put your fire poker?

    Oh, right, you dropped it over there--

    Seizing his chance in the moment you're distracted, the man jabs his blue-violet rather uncomfortably at your head and roars out one of those words you didn't understand earlier--the red one. It slams into your skull like with the force of a feather.

    You feel something like a odd tingling in your fingertips.

    Smiling, you kindly inform the man that you consider his actions unconstructive. And then you put the wand in his eye.

    He screams, dropping his blue-violet. You release him, and he slumps against the foot of the door, mewling pathetically.

    You hear yelling outside--though it is difficult to be sure, what with this guy's yelping and such. You also hear something that sounds like a firecracker going off very close by.

    You pick up the poker.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:49 No.9540721
    Wonder why there is a digital clock on my bedside table. I don't even have a digital clock... or a bedside table.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:49 No.9540723
    Huh. You know, I wasn't expecting to actually end up stabbing the man in the eye. Very well then.

    Pick up One-Eye, open door, throw One-Eye at those dudes, and then shout that verb at them as loud as possible. Then hit them with the poker.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:50 No.9540736
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    >290 posts
    OH MY GOD.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:52 No.9540750
    I agree. I don't think he'll be terribly co-operative with one eye.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:53 No.9540783
    ITT: people who aren't going to be awake a 9:00 am
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:54 No.9540786
    Exit the door, then slowly advance on them... letting them hit you with their magic.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:54 No.9540790
    Well, maybe. But then I'll remember it's Saturday.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:56 No.9540818
    And there will be nothing strange about that.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)02:56 No.9540822
    Oh u!
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)03:05 No.9540941
    This thread quietly going away for now is for the best, but come another day, I will want to know what happened to my wife.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)03:07 No.9540973
    Heading to bed-- Someone make sure to keep this on suptg if it goes anywhere else tonight.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)03:09 No.9540997
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    Single last today.

    You toss the man into the kitchen--not literally, of course. That'd be crude. You really just sort of drag him there. He's still whimpering and trying to feel at his eye. It's honestly kind of pitiful.

    You return to the front hallway. You're about to head over to the door, open it, and confront the other two men when there's a yelling.

    And then a crack.

    And green green green green green--

    The door smashes open from the outside. A piece with the knobs attached flies towards your, turning lazily through the air--you barely manage to turn your head away before it strikes you, hard, on the side of the skull. You're not even that lucky with the other pieces of the door, though--wood, splintered, scratches and gouges at your body. Your arms receive the worst of it when you raise them to protect your head.

    Finally, though, it is quiet. You dare lower your hands--just to peek--

    The two men are standing outside the door, blue-violets still raised.

    Behind them, in the night sky, some orange blooms vividly.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)03:17 No.9541118
    awwww, when can we expect more?
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)03:17 No.9541119
    Epic turned to shit, should that be archived? I'm confused.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)03:21 No.9541176
    Dude, that was awesome.

    Just because you didn't get your CRAZY MURDERER WHO MURDERED HIS WIFE SO EDGY! doesn't mean we didn't like turning into the most powerful mage to ever live.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)03:34 No.9541342

    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)03:35 No.9541359
    > accidentally turning into the most powerful mage to ever live.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)04:54 No.9542280

    No he has a point. It started off like it was going to be some Sapphire and Steel stuff, what with "there is nothing strange about this" and the images of people falling. Then OP ran out of ideas and it all turned cartoonish.

    That said, I'm glad it wasn't something as dull as murdering our wife.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/10(Sat)04:55 No.9542293
    Wonder why I woke up that early. Go back to sleep, or get up and nurse my fucking hangover. Probably nurse the hangover with something to drink, beg my mate down the hall for some Ibuprofin, and go get something to eat. Then I fuck around all day, and then get blind drunk again that night.

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