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  • File : 1273725580.jpg-(56 KB, 403x625, Nurse.jpg)
    56 KB Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:39 No.9785334  
    You've woken at last! Well there's a relief. Listen to me Guardsman, there's no reason for panic. You are in an Imperial infirmary aboard the Righteous Dominion. You were wounded during combat against the Orkoids planetside and were evacuated here for medical treatment by the Chirurgeons. You've been in an induced coma for two weeks while your surgery took, and it seems you are recovering well.

    Now, I need to give you your scheduled shot of antibiotics because of the nature of the projectile that struck you, so just sit back and tell me what happened while I do, okay?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:41 No.9785361
    I like where this is going...
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:41 No.9785363
    Yesterday was International Nurses Day.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:42 No.9785379
         File1273725745.gif-(271 KB, 234x178, chomp chomp chomp.gif)
    271 KB
    >my face
    >> Alpharius 05/13/10(Thu)00:42 No.9785381
    And we weren't turned into combat servitors how?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:43 No.9785404
         File1273725830.jpg-(250 KB, 768x1024, 1272931139133.jpg)
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    >> Alpharius 05/13/10(Thu)00:44 No.9785408
    Ugg, last thing I remember was some greenskin yelling about dooka or whatever it is he was saying. Then my arm goes numb, I feel a shitload of pain, and I wake up here.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:44 No.9785410
    Imperial Nurses? Induced Comas?

    Did we just went back in time when things were not shit on shit?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:44 No.9785419
    because it's inefficient to servitor-ize every single wounded guy, what about all the experience they accumulate? You want to flush veterans down the drain because they got shot once?
    >> Wut 05/13/10(Thu)00:44 No.9785422
    Antibiotics...? Surgery? This is not the grimdark that I know.
    >> Friendly Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)00:44 No.9785425

    It seems the Commissar watched the assault your unit made. He asked specifically that we take the best care possible of you, because he needs more do'ers. Here we go with the shot...
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 05/13/10(Thu)00:45 No.9785434
         File1273725928.png-(11 KB, 441x495, Tau Xbox Kid.png)
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    ...but I'm a Tau!
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:45 No.9785439
    It's space-viagra.

    >> Friendly Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)00:49 No.9785515

    Well, we had you on nanolucazides for a time, but they aren't the kind of thing you want to give someone who is conscious.


    I see. If it makes you feel any better I was told to inform you that you got him with the bayonnet charge. I couldn't imagine even holding my ground against something as beastly as an Orkoid, so it's very impressive, Guardsman. How's your arm rotation now? Any better?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:51 No.9785541
    I wouldn't trust her. She looks like a loli murderer.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:52 No.9785567

    ...what's this thing in my neck?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:52 No.9785569
    >She looks like a loli murderer.
    guess we don't have to worry then, since we're not a loli
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:53 No.9785580
    >loli murderer

    A loli who is a murderer, or one who murders lolis?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:53 No.9785582
    *After a shot*
    -Nurse, is it normal that my neck is itching?
    *Scratch* *Scratch* *Scratch*
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:55 No.9785611
    Takano Miyo, google her
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)00:55 No.9785622
    Aww Emperor, was I in a penal legion or something? I can't remember a whole lot...
    >> Friendly Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)00:57 No.9785647

    The small cylinder there? It's an MIU system command module. The Commissar requested that we... do a little remodelling, so that you can become a more effective warrior. It will connect to a weapon in the future, and you will be able to command it with mere thoughts. I'm told that takes a little getting used to, but it should be good in the end right?
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 05/13/10(Thu)00:57 No.9785648
         File1273726641.jpg-(32 KB, 225x350, 6a00d83452989a69e200e550db06bd(...).jpg)
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    That's not just any nurse!
    >> Friendly Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)00:58 No.9785665

    Er, you might not want to scratch at it. Don't want to open it up again, right? If you need something to dull the itch, I can prescribe you something. Would that help?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:00 No.9785699
    Um, what kind of weapon exactly?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:01 No.9785712
         File1273726898.jpg-(48 KB, 557x620, thebosscos04hw2.jpg)
    48 KB
    >so just sit back and tell me what happened while I do

    I was snapping the Warboss' neck with my bare hands after covertly eliminating his forces and sabotaging the Gargants. The Imperial Navy grew impatient and launched a Cyclonic torpedo at my location.

    I expect to be back on my feet in a few days.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:02 No.9785719
    What about this thing in my shoulder? And this other thing in my elbow? They aren't all MIUs, are they?

    Why are there so many wires?
    >> Friendly Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)01:03 No.9785745

    I wasn't told that part, but I see on your schedule that you're due for sure reinforcement rails. I assume it will be something shoulder-mounted, leaving your arms free to act independently.

    So... I see old electoo shadowing on your arm above the wound. I guess the projectile destroyed what was there and it was removed. What did you have?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:04 No.9785748
    >> Friendly Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)01:07 No.9785795

    Well, the one in your shoulder is the groundwork for the railing. This thing on your elbow? Right here where I'm touching now is the start of a dataport. You should be able to download dataslate data and the like to a small memory rod in your chest. As for these red and black wires... think of it like them testing the pathways before they dig them in.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:08 No.9785812
    Nurse, I'm scared.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:10 No.9785842
    So Nurse. Did my psych evaluation turn up anything odd? Like, Psykers going ballistic near me or what?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:10 No.9785846

    "...Are we going to be piloting a Titan?"
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:10 No.9785857
    I... don't really remember. ID, I guess. Maybe some credits. Maybe pictures of my family.

    ...you're sure it's gone?

    I see. I, uh... thanks? Thanks for your help. Usually... well, you know what happens to casualties, don't you?
    >> Friendly Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)01:11 No.9785859

    Don't be scared, Guardsman. You are a man of the Imperium, who has killed Orkoids before. There is nothing to fear from me, nor from the procedures. If you do have some concerns, I can stay a while and hopefully answer anything you need to know. Does that sound good?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:11 No.9785860
         File1273727466.jpg-(96 KB, 728x1051, Blame_v10_c64_p144.jpg)
    96 KB
    >>What did you have?
    Nothing important.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:12 No.9785870
    Well lets see. I remember some Orks were charging us with a bunch of cleavers. Squad was in bad shape. Sarge was down and Jenkins had a broken leg. I told the men to fall back behind the firing line, took an extra rifle and tried to hold them off. Thats all I really remember.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:12 No.9785872
    ITT: Anonymous doesn't know they're being turned into a Servitor.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:14 No.9785903
    >ITT: Anonymous doesn't know they're being turned into a Pleasure Servitor.
    >> Tarvus 05/13/10(Thu)01:14 No.9785907
         File1273727683.png-(53 KB, 250x343, trollan.png)
    53 KB
    I was waiting until someone figured that out.
    >my face right now
    I hope we get a multimelta.
    >> Friendly Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)01:15 No.9785918

    Nice try Guardsman. You're not going to be piloting a Titan.


    There are no sanctioned Imperial Psykers in this conflict, so negative on that. Apart from that you seem quite healthy, although you seem to have irregular dream patterns. Still, nothing to worry about.


    Unfortunately, yes. I'm sorry if you don't remember, but there's no way of retrieving information on it. The Chirurgeon's mediskull is a simple tool. It doesn't take stock of what it is removing, only that it is removed.

    And yes, I know all too well what happens to casualties. Which is why I'm pleased that you are in good health, Guardsman.
    >> Blackheart !!FYEhWpAirtN 05/13/10(Thu)01:15 No.9785921
    Hey that picture, isn't she that crazy chick from Higurashi? The main pawn of Lambadelta and all that.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:16 No.9785937
    Nurse, I'm still scared. Can I has hugs?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:16 No.9785938
         File1273727811.jpg-(23 KB, 375x500, thebosscos01zi2.jpg)
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    Servitor you say? Nurse, allow me to show you the basics of CQC.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:17 No.9785942

    When are we getting back into the fight?
    >> Rape-Chan !!DhEZOUaepXX 05/13/10(Thu)01:18 No.9785961
         File1273727897.jpg-(248 KB, 942x999, 1248939827024.jpg)
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    >> Friendly Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)01:18 No.9785969

    Unfortunately you'll be out of action for another week. After that your squad is being pulled from the conflict regardless if it's still being fought or not. You'll meet them here then, but you still have some surgeries between then and now.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:19 No.9785978
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:19 No.9785986
    When are those surgeries scheduled for?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:20 No.9785988
    I thought you said I was all patched up though?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:20 No.9785989
    Whats the total damage to me like? Anything I need to worry about?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:20 No.9785990
    and what exactly will those surgeries do to me?
    >> EVERSOR 05/13/10(Thu)01:21 No.9786012
         File1273728079.jpg-(228 KB, 685x907, everchan.jpg)
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    (im pretty sure i was dude before the mission nurse what did you do to me!?)
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:21 No.9786013
    Okay, but why is there a tentacle coming out of your ear?
    I can see it through your hair.
    >> Psyker Ted 05/13/10(Thu)01:22 No.9786028
         File1273728167.jpg-(12 KB, 316x381, Psyker_01_Tophat.jpg)
    12 KB
    rolled 8, 3, 6 = 17

    The hell is happening here?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:25 No.9786078
    Awesome, no 9's
    >> Friendly Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)01:25 No.9786084

    You're all patched up just fine, and with the exception of some arm scarring you are healthier than an Ecclesiarch. But you still have some modifications to undergo. Don't worry, your Commissar asked us to be very careful and caring while we undertake our procedures. You're in safe hands. As I said already, they will enable you to control a shoulder-mounted MIU-linked weapon and download off dataslates and the like. The first of these will be tomorrow, for the shoulder supports. We've already laid the groundworks, so it should only be two or three hours on the slab for the procedure. After that you'll go for weapon fitting, and then you can come back here and talk to me some more while I run totally mundane and boring tests for a few hours.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:26 No.9786103
         File1273728387.jpg-(36 KB, 496x550, 1266382650071.jpg)
    36 KB

    I do not like the idea of being lobotomized and turned into a servitor.

    I will take my bionics and tough my way out in the underhive, thank you very much.
    >> Psyker Ted 05/13/10(Thu)01:26 No.9786105
         File1273728391.jpg-(12 KB, 316x381, Psyker_CaffSip.jpg)
    12 KB
    rolled 7, 2, 4 = 13


    That Guardsman was originally a guy.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:26 No.9786112
    roleplaying, ted. you should be familiar with that.
    >> Psyker Ted 05/13/10(Thu)01:27 No.9786125
         File1273728460.jpg-(12 KB, 316x381, Psyker_CaffJustasplanned.jpg)
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    rolled 10, 3, 8 = 21

    Oh really?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:28 No.9786149
    Well, I guess I shouldn't keep you from your other duties any longer.

    One more question, though. Could you tell me your name?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:30 No.9786179
    We get to keep our junk attached to us, right?
    >> Friendly Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)01:34 No.9786220

    Well, I'm going to go ahead and say that you're safe there. Okay?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:36 No.9786241

    You sure I just cannot have a bionic arm and be done with it?

    I'm a little suspicious of neural-controlled weapons. I mean, I CAN hold a meltagun one handed with some good bionics...
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)01:36 No.9786243
    >implying you need said junk
    >> Tarvus 05/13/10(Thu)01:36 No.9786246
    >Implying that anyone would have consentual dickings with a servitor

    ...So we're a rape servitor? Interesting.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:37 No.9786262
    So tell me nurse. How many of our boys come through here to be turned into mindless hulks of flesh and metal get this treatment from ya?
    >> Friendly Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)01:38 No.9786278

    Ahah, well there I can't help you. These are the Inqu- I mean, the Commissar's orders... oh no, I didn't mean to say that...
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:39 No.9786291
    Nurse, we can't hug you with machine gun arms.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:39 No.9786293

    No, I refuse to become a mindless hulk of flesh and steel, let me out!
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:39 No.9786300
         File1273729187.jpg-(101 KB, 900x600, wow.jpg)
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    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)01:40 No.9786306
    Interesting. Must study further.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:40 No.9786314


    we're fucked
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:41 No.9786330
         File1273729264.png-(10 KB, 564x450, tau hmmm.png)
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    Having fun in here guys?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:41 No.9786337
    Go stand in front of a Battle Cannon, please.
    >> Tarvus 05/13/10(Thu)01:41 No.9786338
         File1273729298.jpg-(94 KB, 425x282, oh no.jpg)
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    >my face
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:42 No.9786346
    >> Friendly Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)01:42 No.9786347

    Oh no! No, please calm down! I-it's not what you are thinking! There's an Inquisitor, and he has asked for an elite unit of Guardsmen for personal use. He's the one who requested these changes! Please calm down! Please? It's not so bad, really! I promise!
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)01:43 No.9786370
    There there there. No one's blaming you.

    Can you add more metal to the guardsman?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:43 No.9786372


    Release me or die, wench!
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:43 No.9786377

    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:44 No.9786387
    Which part isn't that bad?! The lobotomy or being sent out to fight warpspawn and Emperor knows what else?! WHICH PART ISN'T THAT BAD, CUZ' I'M HAVIN' A HARD TIME FIGURIN' IT OUT ON THIS END!
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:44 No.9786390
    >he has asked for an elite unit of Guardsmen for personal use

    But I'm not gay! I like women! I'll prove it to you:
    What are you doing later after your shift?
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)01:44 No.9786393

    Hypothetical for you. At what percentage of mechanical parts does he stop being a Guardsman rather than a Servitor?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:44 No.9786396
    >These are the Inqu- I mean, the Commissar's orders... oh no, I didn't mean to say that...
    Regardless of how combat effective I'll be I really, really, REALLY don't want to be made into a servitor.
    >> Fuuka! 05/13/10(Thu)01:45 No.9786407
         File1273729523.jpg-(162 KB, 350x504, yotsuba_fuuka.jpg)
    162 KB
    Hey nurse!

    You done turning that guardsman into sex combat servitor like I asked fo-

    ...Oh. Hello. Nevermind me, guardsman.
    >> Friendly Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)01:45 No.9786410

    NO! We're not lobotomizing you, believe me! The Inquisitor has combat servitors already! He just wanted his squad to have more firepower, so wanted you to have an MIU unit as well as a meltagun! Please, stop thrashing! If they find out I let you know... oh, please just stop...
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:45 No.9786414
    Droopy-Tan is not friendly. Do not let her near your junk.
    >> Leman Russ 05/13/10(Thu)01:46 No.9786425
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:46 No.9786428
    Okay I'll keep quiet...
    ...if you kiss it where it hurts to make the pain go away. ^_^
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:46 No.9786434
    Fat thighs. Ugh.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:48 No.9786442

    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:48 No.9786446
    Let's make a deal. We both get the hell out of here and board the nearest rogue trader vessel. How does that sound?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:49 No.9786451

    Stop lying. I've seen other guardsmen with bionics, and this is NOT what they have. Data slates?! I'M A HUMAN BEING, for the emperor's sake!

    If I am going to be hacked up, tell that inquisitor that I want to see his or her face, NOW.
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)01:49 No.9786454
    Depends. Is he still aware of himself? Has his brain been tampered with?

    Servitors are, by definition, mindless.

    He's being blessed with the holy machine. He should feel pride.
    >> Fuuka! 05/13/10(Thu)01:49 No.9786463
         File1273729784.jpg-(119 KB, 600x1000, panties girl.jpg)
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    >Fat thighs


    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)01:50 No.9786469

    Man up, you baby.
    >> Distraught Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)01:50 No.9786473

    I... you... you monster... undue stress puts pressure on an MIU unit in it's installation stages, and they told me you weren't to know, so that your stress levels were low. They'll kill me if they know I told you... and you would use that as leverage?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:51 No.9786479
    Thats it. It's rape hundred hours.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:51 No.9786486

    Release me or we BOTH die.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:51 No.9786488
    Ah, and now the fap thread starts. Well fuck, it's been fun guys
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)01:52 No.9786495
    Ah. Fuuka. Back to human again I see.

    Hm. I need you to try this ancient Terran dish. It's called Haggis.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)01:52 No.9786503
    Sedate him and mark his file for servitor status. That'll save your bacon and remove from him the pain of his current lot in life.
    >> Distraught Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)01:52 No.9786506

    I... I can't just RELEASE you! Even if the systems could disengage without the safety shut-offs being checked, we're on an Imperial Cruiser! Where would we go?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:52 No.9786508

    "whoa whut"
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:53 No.9786522
         File1273730025.jpg-(83 KB, 600x750, Commissar_by_The_Imperial_Guar(...).jpg)
    83 KB
    I just want to be held. T_T
    I've spent years on a battlefield watching all my friends die away, but I can't show any weakness. I can't just look my Commissar in the eyes and tell her... I love her...
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)01:53 No.9786524
         File1273730029.jpg-(58 KB, 480x686, Inquisitor.jpg)
    58 KB
    Nurse, Is the Servitor I requested Ready?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:53 No.9786527
    Quick, use your leverage to fuck her!
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:54 No.9786529

    Anywhere but here.

    Release me now.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:54 No.9786539
    You are blind. You are no threat at all! Now be a good wench and fetch me a gin & tonic.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:55 No.9786550
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:56 No.9786556
         File1273730167.jpg-(99 KB, 600x429, 1220933521630.jpg)
    99 KB

    Lady, I didn't have anywhere to go planetside except "headlong into a sea of ripshit pissed off Orks," so "Imperial Battle Cruiser" sounds like a fucking playground.

    Besides, there's Jefferies Tubes, and shit.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:56 No.9786565

    ...I'm not sure that will help. They can still use us if we die. Even if just as a servo skull.
    >> Scared Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)01:56 No.9786566

    I-I... Inquisitor... the subject is not ready yet... I'm conducting basic diagnostics while he is out. Progress is... is on schedule.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:56 No.9786567
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:58 No.9786585
         File1273730289.jpg-(59 KB, 245x338, 1261604400932.jpg)
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    >My face when I'm not out and hearing the conversation.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:58 No.9786592
    release my restraints now or I shout what you told me.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:58 No.9786594
    Yeah, but at least the "lobotomy" will be on our terms. And preferably all over the med bay with a few others taken along for the ride
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)01:58 No.9786599
         File1273730316.jpg-(365 KB, 1477x1350, no2.jpg)
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    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)01:59 No.9786608
    >even just a servo skull
    JUST a Servo-Skull?

    Meatbag you best be joking.
    >> Scared Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)02:00 No.9786622

    NO! You've ruined everything!

    STAY BACK, INQUISITOR! I-I'll shoot! I swear I'll do it!
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:00 No.9786625
         File1273730436.jpg-(294 KB, 800x792, 2c3d60c45be756a14ca0b1ec15aede(...).jpg)
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    You Have Startled The Nurse
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:01 No.9786632
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:01 No.9786635
    Oh fuck me.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:01 No.9786636
    inb4 a confused, amused, and dangerously sexy Verity "punishes" this one for assuming her position.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:01 No.9786637
    The subject is proving to be both astute of assumption and rather resistant to perform his duties to the Imperium as slated, Inquisitor. He may not be an ideal candidate.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:01 No.9786638
    unchain me, now!
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:03 No.9786653

    Oh, I have no problem with duty. I'm a guardsman after all. Just NOT LIKE THAT.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:03 No.9786658
    Are you kidding? Break my willpower and my astuteness would be nothing but an asset, you pompous ass!
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:03 No.9786660
    I think she plans to. And not in a good way
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)02:03 No.9786661
         File1273730612.jpg-(32 KB, 249x253, coolface.jpg)
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    you humans amuse this one.
    >> Scared Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)02:03 No.9786662

    Alright, I'll do it! Stay back, Inquisitor! I d-don't want to shoot you, but I will! *shuts down wiring and restraints*
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:04 No.9786666
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)02:04 No.9786668
    I know, right?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:04 No.9786673
    Awesome, now where's the weapon that was supposed to be attached to my shoulder arm whatever?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:04 No.9786675
    i've been fapping the entire time, because my fetish is TERRIBLY WRITTEN ANIME BULLSHIT
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:05 No.9786685

    You've been selected for the singular honor of both serving an Inquisitor directly and, from appearances, being permitted to retain your self-awareness. Yet you're resisting this most vigorously. I would go with it.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:05 No.9786694

    Oh come now, Higurashi may have had its flaws but it was still an interesting literary experiment.
    >> Scared Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)02:06 No.9786697

    Don't listen to him! Please, I released you! You have to help me! They'll kill me if you don't!
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:06 No.9786699
    You know, this might not be that bad, come to think of it.
    Will I still get to fuck the nurse?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:06 No.9786700
         File1273730788.png-(56 KB, 180x300, rin.png)
    56 KB
    Hey Nurse, when am I getting my roboarms?
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)02:06 No.9786708
         File1273730804.jpg-(22 KB, 208x191, allsmiles.jpg)
    22 KB

    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:07 No.9786715

    She's clearly fucked up in front of an Inquisitor. Could be part of her punishment.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:07 No.9786722

    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)02:07 No.9786723
    Hm, I need to check myself. I'm in total agreement with a Xeno.

    Who am I kidding? This is a fun show!
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:07 No.9786724

    This is clearly a test. Us being allowed to stay conscious and told of what's coming is a test to see if we're gonna flip out and fight back. Any soldier who doesn't isn't aggressive enough to be part of an Inquisitor's personal squad.

    The nurse is a plant, she's in on it.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 05/13/10(Thu)02:07 No.9786726
         File1273730868.jpg-(21 KB, 317x588, pimped.jpg)
    21 KB
    Hey, Inquisitor, babe, what's the holdup?

    You said that the servitor AND the nurse would be jacked full of cocaine by now.

    I'm starting to get the sniffles, seriously.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:07 No.9786727
    *slow grin*
    Then I think we have a deal...
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:09 No.9786745

    *charges inquisitor, knocking her aside*

    Where's the armory and docking bay? Time is of the essence!
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:09 No.9786750

    While doubtless some Inquisitors would choose a test such as this, you're still acting a fool.

    Though really, who am I to protest? I don't work for the Inquisition right now.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:09 No.9786754
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:09 No.9786756
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 05/13/10(Thu)02:10 No.9786764

    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:10 No.9786765
    Don't forget the part where we begin to fully synch up with whatever it is embedded in us through rage/adrenaline/etc and a desire to use the weapon on our own.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:10 No.9786767

    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:11 No.9786772
    So what are you doing here anyway? Not that I really care; as long as I get dat ass and my roboarms I'll be good with whatever suicidal mission the Inquisitor wants.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:11 No.9786773
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:11 No.9786774
    Why haven't we flipped out and punched the Inqusitor in the face yet?

    Also, the nurse had a laspistol on her? Good girl.
    >> Tarvus 05/13/10(Thu)02:11 No.9786785
    And a heretic daemon xenos astartes.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:12 No.9786786
         File1273731122.jpg-(197 KB, 768x788, 1258726165881.jpg)
    197 KB
    Does that mean it will be WWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Time soon?! Oh please say it will!
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)02:12 No.9786787
         File1273731123.jpg-(42 KB, 200x200, haha..jpg)
    42 KB
    >this thread
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:12 No.9786797
    Know what, I don't even care. Don't bother to answer that. Just give me the nurse and we can move on.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:13 No.9786800
    Ah shas o' would you like to meet my friend bolter?
    >> Scared Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)02:13 No.9786806

    T-the Inquisitor keeps everything on his ship in the docking bays!

    S-STAY BACK! *snapping of lasgun fire*
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:13 No.9786808
         File1273731228.jpg-(82 KB, 473x493, 1259726822572.jpg)
    82 KB


    Punch the fag in the funny coat. Just do it. I'm trying to justify my desire to do violence to this man who's in my chain of command, but I don't even fucking care. Just... fuck it.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:14 No.9786813

    My crew was down with you guys. One 'em got hit, so I came to see his status in this ship's body 'n fender. Our contract expired at 1800 yesterday.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:14 No.9786814
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:16 No.9786839
         File1273731360.png-(19 KB, 531x369, whyyyyyy.png)
    19 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:16 No.9786840
    Cool story, bro. Already decided I didn't care. Nurse please. Preferably naked.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:16 No.9786841
    Mr. Kobrek seize the nurse and our would be servitor friend
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:16 No.9786844
    I think we should stick together, let's get out of here.
    *Runs to docking bays*
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:16 No.9786853
         File1273731416.jpg-(55 KB, 356x438, 1253058591032.jpg)
    55 KB

    This is why I hate Inquisitors. They spend more time trying to murder cute nurses aboard starships in orbit then they do on the surface, reaping punk asses in a whirlwind of violence.

    Speaking of whirlwinds of violence, why are we not doing that, like, right now?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:17 No.9786855
         File1273731422.jpg-(43 KB, 500x460, e602b2137ecf499fa97e42ef7f9043(...).jpg)
    43 KB
    At what point did this become about raping the nurse rather than surviving?
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:17 No.9786861

    Ahah, me and my big mouth. Yes'm, I'll see what I can do.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:17 No.9786862
    the moment it was posted on /tg/
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:18 No.9786866
    And you there stop! (cocks and points bolt pistol)
    >> Scared Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)02:18 No.9786870

    A-alright, we need to head down through the barracks and lander hangers first... oh... oh what am I doing...
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)02:18 No.9786875
    If you do catch him and servitorize him, you think I could borrow him? I need to clean up the floor after my last servitor exploded.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:18 No.9786877
    When this was /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:18 No.9786881
    now that we're away from the inquisitor YOUR SOUL BELONGS TO FATHER NURGLE AHAHAHA
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:19 No.9786883
    Why would I murder my own subordinate!?
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)02:19 No.9786888
         File1273731559.jpg-(46 KB, 200x200, Oooooooo~.jpg)
    46 KB
    rolled 10 = 10

    >rolling for warp shenanigans
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:19 No.9786894
    This became about raping the nurse when that big lummox of a stormtrooper told me I could!

    Just see if you can catch me bitch, you're keeping me from obtaining the aforementioned tail
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:19 No.9786896

    For me? The moment you posted that picture.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:20 No.9786913
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:20 No.9786917
    Ooo, so close
    >> Hiro !J02Ujjg4Nw 05/13/10(Thu)02:21 No.9786921

    Don't you roll 2d6 for those?
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:21 No.9786922

    Well, strikes me that with a whole ship at your potential disposal, this shouldn't be too difficult, ma'am. I'll see about cutting them off at the docking ports for the landers.
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)02:21 No.9786933
    >Whee! A cute nurse and a fun ride! Pray, continue!
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)02:21 No.9786934
         File1273731718.jpg-(30 KB, 200x200, chicoryyyy.jpg)
    30 KB
    rolled 8 = 8


    Did anything happen?
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:22 No.9786945
    My patience run thin guardsman stop this instant
    and we will discuss the aforementioned acquisition of her tail
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:22 No.9786948
    Aw, just off again. Well, third time's the charm and whatnot
    >> Distraught Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)02:23 No.9786956

    No, just STOP IT! *snapping of more shots*
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)02:24 No.9786961
         File1273731847.jpg-(47 KB, 200x200, Warpfire.jpg)
    47 KB
    rolled 2, 2 = 4


    last try
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:24 No.9786979
    Well shit guys
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:25 No.9786982

    You're only going to exacerbate things at this point if you keep that up.
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)02:25 No.9786986
    Oh, hello, once-was-elfdar. Whatcha doing?
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)02:25 No.9786988
    Inquisitor? A response to >>9786875 ?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:25 No.9786991
    How did you even get a gun, bitch? I'll be taking that.

    Well, now that I'm armed, I feel a bit more comfortable discussing terms with you. You give me roboarms and my way with this nurse, my astuteness and fiery spirit are yours to use in whatever crazy mission you have planned. Deal?
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)02:26 No.9786997
         File1273731985.jpg-(34 KB, 200x200, what in the hell.jpg)
    34 KB

    Breaking my coffee cup it seems...
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:26 No.9786998
    Nurse! I have every right of executing you right here right now but since i need you for that guardsman's operation I'll give you a full pardon so stop running
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:26 No.9787000
         File1273731991.png-(10 KB, 384x267, 1258945302450.png)
    10 KB
    this 'quest' has gone totally batshit. But to date, I can see this:

    1. We have not yet erupted in an orgy of horrific violence.
    2. We have not yet rescued the cute nurse LIEK A BAAAWS and/or raped the shit out of her yet.

    Seriously, what kind of Guardsman are we? Fuck this shit, let's get with the program already.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:27 No.9787010
    >Friendly, Nervous, Frightened, Distraught

    Just wait until she hits 100% droopy...
    >> Distraught Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)02:27 No.9787019

    NOOO! NO NO NO IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE THIS WAY... I only ever wanted to be a nurse, and help people... *falls to knees and sobs into hands*
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:28 No.9787024
    We should totally stop. This Inquisitor seems relatively laid back.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:28 No.9787033
    And remember the tail, Inquisitor. Since I still don't trust that I WON'T wake up from this with all sorts of fancy cerebral implants modifying my willpower, I figure I'm entitled to some carnal indulgence.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:29 No.9787036
    Fine! do what you want first but know this do anymore shenanigans I swear on the emperor himself ill throw you into the eye of terror my self
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:29 No.9787042
    You know what we really need? VIBROARMS.

    They'll let us turn all our weapons into vibroweapons AND make us popular with the ladies!
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:29 No.9787045
         File1273732196.gif-(226 KB, 800x600, 1252973406555.gif)
    226 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:30 No.9787047
    GET A GRIP, WOMAN! We need to go, NOW!!
    *Grabs the laspistol, firing off a few shots and ducking into the barracks.*
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)02:30 No.9787052
    This guardsmean doesn't seem properly appreciative of the honour being bestowed upon him. Perhaps he is not suitable material for this program.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:30 No.9787056

    So I'm not the only one thinking this.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:31 No.9787062
    No problems. See, I'm putting the gun down. Is there a place I can take her that's a little more...private?

    Oh stop whining. I'm not a Slaaneshi heretic, my tastes are comparatively simple. You might even enjoy it.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:31 No.9787068
    This. And in light of...
    I guess spare her too. She was just concerned about her patient?
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)02:32 No.9787082

    Kids these days.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:32 No.9787084
    ...You guys do realize that last time Takano got raped she ended up killing thousands of people, right? This will not fucking end well.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:32 No.9787085
    You and you. I'm jacking the Guardsman's part, and damned if I'm not gonna do it better and actually get some action.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:32 No.9787086
    just as expected from those retards at segmentum command not properly educating their guardsman sheesh, I need you to take nurse but don't kill her
    and cripple the guardsman
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)02:33 No.9787101
         File1273732419.jpg-(42 KB, 200x200, X3.jpg)
    42 KB
    I should probably Nom someone... if things get to that point
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:34 No.9787112
    Hey Inquisitor, what's that whispering? I thought we had discussed things.
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)02:35 No.9787123
    Were you planning on servitorising him? Because that would be a waste of a veteran guardsman. You can make a perfectly good servitor out of people without any training whatsoever. I imagine this ship will have a few candidates.
    >> Hysterical Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)02:35 No.9787135

    STAY AWAY FROM ME! JUST GO AWAY! *closes eyes and covers ears, hysterically muttering prayers to the Emperor over and over*
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)02:35 No.9787136
    Whoa man. That all consuming hive mind is getting to you.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:35 No.9787137
    It's times like this that I feel that the Imperium's right hand has no idea what the left is doing. Usually the right hand is fondling its testicles, while the left is clawing its own face off like a bloated, fat slaaneshi cultist with some horrible mental illness (other than the obvious - being full of heresy).
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:36 No.9787139
         File1273732562.jpg-(90 KB, 206x276, 1267580971939.jpg)
    90 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:36 No.9787144
    Hey, whoever that is, he..or she, I guess...has a point. You should listen to them, Inquisitor.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:36 No.9787148

    Take a deep breath and calm down. You can't help anyone, even yourself, when you're this broken down. Focus.
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)02:37 No.9787159
         File1273732674.jpg-(11 KB, 150x154, DEM TEETH.jpg)
    11 KB
    I know... and I like the feeling
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:37 No.9787160
    The ship could come under attack right about now for no clear reason.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:38 No.9787161
         File1273732680.jpg-(76 KB, 400x426, 7b77bfc5f45d5d46f7b13f6dc18a0c(...).jpg)
    76 KB
    I know what the nurse's problem is...
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:39 No.9787168
    So do I...she needs a good dicking to cheer her up!
    Inquisitor! It's now or never: is there a spare room I could take her to get my end of the deal over with?
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)02:39 No.9787172
    Uh huh. I forget what hunger feels like.

    Either way you might want to tone it down a touch. Tyranids capable of communication are rare, and I wouldn't want my research subject going feral on me.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:39 No.9787173
         File1273732772.jpg-(58 KB, 704x396, 1214717379891.jpg)
    58 KB
    Oh man is she going to get it for that...
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)02:40 No.9787179
    Okaaaaaay, "Kerrigan."
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:40 No.9787184
         File1273732838.png-(171 KB, 337x253, 1239442223112.png)
    171 KB
    We still haven't killed anybody yet.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:41 No.9787191

    I was going to go with several severe mental illnesses, murderous impulses, a well-deserved fear of men, and pedophilia, but that works too.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:41 No.9787196
         File1273732892.jpg-(482 KB, 897x1697, 1241617208348.jpg)
    482 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:42 No.9787203

    BRILLIANT! Vibrochainswords! How did we not think of it sooner!?
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:42 No.9787205
    MAGOS what's this doing here?
    Is it a tyranid?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:42 No.9787210
    That's a question for the good magos, I suppose
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)02:43 No.9787213
    Or I could pull a few strings.

    If you do me some favours...
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:43 No.9787214
    Adeptus Evangelion did it
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:44 No.9787226
    You are horrible at whispering. And I mean fucking terrible.
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)02:44 No.9787227

    It's my valuable research. Try not to harm it unless it interferes in our affairs.
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)02:44 No.9787228
         File1273733058.jpg-(19 KB, 200x200, ahrm.jpg)
    19 KB

    Kerrigan... what?
    >> Hysterical Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)02:45 No.9787243


    O Eternal Emperor,
    Who Alone watches us,
    And rules the tides and stroms,
    Be compassionate to your servant,
    Gift me your strength, your resolve and your courage three,
    That I may complete my purpose!

    *draws nano-saw tube from nursing pocket*


    *activates saw and plunges into neck, blood fountaining forth before she falls to her knees, shuddering in agony*
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:45 No.9787244
    Im not even whispering Emperor damn it
    Since when did this ship got full of aliens and heretics?
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)02:45 No.9787250
         File1273733153.jpg-(173 KB, 735x492, eeafc14b85f7cf8dc4b410cdc69ca8(...).jpg)
    173 KB
    >Starcraft joke

    Nevermind. Here - have some Sheepkas. Should take the edge off that gnawing hunger.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:46 No.9787255

    Well damn. There goes a physically capable, if mentally unstable, medic.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:46 No.9787262
         File1273733182.jpg-(103 KB, 740x555, fuck_this_shit.jpg)
    103 KB
    I think this is the point where we sling the nurse over our shoulder, wave to all those assembled, and walk out of the fucking room.

    "Have fun discussing your fucking nids or chainswords or whatever, wankers, I've got shit to do and xenos to purge."
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:46 No.9787264
         File1273733192.jpg-(273 KB, 800x600, lilyrin.jpg)
    273 KB
    Lily also wants to know if you can do something about her eyes
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)02:46 No.9787267
    Looks like I'm getting my servitor after all.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:46 No.9787272
    Damn it call the Medic...
    *grabs her and puts pressure on wound*
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:47 No.9787279
    >>9787243 dying without taking everyone on the ship with her

    This is SO fucking out of character!

    ...body's still warm though, right?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:48 No.9787293

    You only need the head, right?
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:48 No.9787295
    kobrek Kill that guy now
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)02:48 No.9787296
    rolled 2, 2, 3, 1 + 7 = 15

    Biomancy - Seal Wound - watch me invoke Perils
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:48 No.9787299

    They're already en route, though with a wound like that there won't be much they can do. Not unless you've got a way to keep blood circulating through her with that massive gash. Looks like a write-off.
    >> Hysterical Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)02:49 No.9787306

    *eyes look into those of the Inquisitor, blood welling from mouth*

    GURKH... please... no...

    *eyes beg him to let her die as words become beyond her due to blood and saw damage*
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:49 No.9787312
    I'm extremely tempted to make an obvious joke regarding the fact that she IS the medic, Inquisitor...
    Emperor damn it to the warp, how do you people manage to screw up something as simple as letting me have a private room to get it on?
    Here, let me do that. You've been out of the field too long, Inquisitor; you've forgotten how battlefield first aid works.
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)02:49 No.9787315
    Again, I can pull some strings if you do me a couple of favors....
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:50 No.9787325

    You're short a physical arm, lad. Forgot about that?
    >> Abaddon 05/13/10(Thu)02:51 No.9787346
    Yo, just dropping by to ask, has anyone seen my arms?
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:51 No.9787349
    Anybody here who knows battlefield first aid?
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:52 No.9787354

    If you want me to stop trying to keep this nurse from joining the Emperor this soon, sure.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:52 No.9787361
         File1273733543.jpg-(62 KB, 610x463, 610x.jpg)
    62 KB

    Short on resources, you say? No, no, the Guard is not familiar with THAT quandary at all.

    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:52 No.9787362
    ...well fuck me gently with a chainsword, you're right.

    Yo creepy, are you a psyker? Great...all I needed was to get tangled up with Inquisitors and their pet spooks. Whatever, just hurry up and heal her. She's DYING, dammit! I'm not a necrophiliac!
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)02:52 No.9787371
    rolled 9, 8, 3 + 7 = 27

    Brain failure.
    >d10s, not 6s in DH
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:52 No.9787373
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)02:53 No.9787375
         File1273733584.jpg-(12 KB, 161x158, YES.jpg)
    12 KB

    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:53 No.9787387

    Down, 'nid. This blood's not for you.
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)02:54 No.9787392
    rolled 5 + 7 = 12

    Sorry about that, I'm just glad I can do this Fettered.
    >Above Wounds recovered
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)02:54 No.9787396
    *Baps with newspaper*
    NO! NO! BAD!

    Here, have a Sheepka.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:55 No.9787404
    ...So first the Guardsman wants the body, then the Tech wants the head, then the Nid wants the rest?

    Well, at least she's not going to waste.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:55 No.9787405
    You stay the fuck away from her xenos scum, as long as there's a chance she'll live ain't no way I'm letting dat ass get away.

    Hey Inquisitor, if she does die, what happens to our deal? I'll still expect a good lay, and it looks like you're the only female around.
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)02:56 No.9787421
         File1273733804.jpg-(18 KB, 200x200, stare.jpg)
    18 KB

    ... damnit
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:57 No.9787432

    oh gawd
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)02:57 No.9787438
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    She'll live, but it'll take her some time to recover from the blood loss. Probably a week or so.

    And the Inquisitor ISN'T the only female around. There are Sheepkas.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:58 No.9787441
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    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)02:58 No.9787446
    Indeed. They are delicious.

    However this isn't a charity. 5 Thrones.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)02:58 No.9787447

    I...what ARE those things?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)02:59 No.9787458
    ...feels like I should know this already...
    Whatever, I've been through the fuckin' mill, and my chance at getting some won't come again for another week. I'm entitled to an answer.
    The hell is a Sheepka?
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)02:59 No.9787459
    *points bolt pistol* you caused me A LOT of trouble Guardsman
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:00 No.9787471

    So off 'im. There're plenty more. Or don't, whatever.
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:00 No.9787474
    Clones of Fuuka.

    They are currently being used for my experiments.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)03:00 No.9787475

    What, do we not have blood transfusion supplies on this ship?
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)03:02 No.9787487
    WTF is wrong with this ship
    Oh emperor guide me and these idiots around me
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:02 No.9787488

    You CLONED her? What in the Emperor's name made that sound like a GOOD idea?
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)03:02 No.9787490
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    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)03:02 No.9787492
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    Words fail me at this point in time, so.... yeah.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:03 No.9787500

    You'll be down one more if the other medics don't make it here soon. I don't know where they are, but without proper equipment and treatment the nurse'll be gone any minute now. Battlefield expediency only does so much.
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:03 No.9787505
    They seem to be quite useful.

    They are also surprisingly delicious, as my Experimentors have tasted..
    >> Dying Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)03:03 No.9787512
    *goes still, blood running down neck. About two liters pool around her*
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)03:04 No.9787517
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    >Note to self: Sort damn faggery folder.

    Sheepkas were an inadvertant creation of Fuuka, where she was accidentally turned into a sheep-thing. And duplicated.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:04 No.9787525

    >> Commissar Aedan 05/13/10(Thu)03:05 No.9787533
    Good lord, has the quality of the average Imperial Guardsman really sunk so low since I last checked that they are now not only are incredibly stupid, but outright argue with Inquisitors and disobey direct orders? What happened to the respect? The awe? And most importantly, the fear? I remember when not long ago, even the thickest Guardsman would rather fellate his lasgun than speak poorly of a member of the Inquisition except perhaps in a small box with walls three feet thick on all ends. And even then he would whisper it under his breath.
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)03:05 No.9787535
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    Holy shitballs, I came as fast as I cou-



    what the FUCK is going on in here....
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)03:05 No.9787536
    I'll take her to Medical. You people work out your problems.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:05 No.9787545

    Still sounds like a potential nightmare to me. Can they do any of the stuff she can? 'Cuz I'm still suffering her little 'curse'.
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:06 No.9787553
    Oh hey there. Take your time. I get her head if she dies.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:07 No.9787560

    About damn time! She's just gone unconscious, I think, but there's not much blood left in her. Get working!
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:07 No.9787564
    Wait. The original Fuuka does things?

    What curse?
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)03:07 No.9787569
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    >> Leman Russ 05/13/10(Thu)03:07 No.9787575
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    Yeaaah... what?
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:08 No.9787578

    If you don't already know, I'm not going to say anything other than 'RIDER KICK' was one of her battlecries.
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)03:08 No.9787580

    Man how the FUCK did you manage to fuck this u- HEY, YOU, FUCKASS, HELP ME GET THIS BITCH ON THAT TABLE HERE.

    We've got a table here meant to provide life support to guys who've had their HEARTS ripped out to make room for crazy-ass robot tech and shit and you dipshits didn't think to USE it? Fuck me sideways. Just... yeah, right there. Okay, now that... no, it's just a substitute, she'll need a proper transfusion later, but for now she'll have enough flow to keep from brain death.

    Just gimme room to work, chuckles.
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)03:09 No.9787594
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    You and me both, sport. Fortunately the Sheepkas are not nearly as inimicable.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)03:09 No.9787597
    Well I could have killed all of them But im really short of men here and one of them's bleeding to death
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:09 No.9787598
    *Lightly kicks your shin with a robotic spider leg*
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)03:10 No.9787603
    Right... so while we wait for her to recover, let's get working on the vibroarm installation.
    >> Random Crewman 05/13/10(Thu)03:10 No.9787605
    Excuse me! We're going to need to clear this area so I can check out the--What the fuck...
    ... I'll come back later.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:11 No.9787612


    You might not be able to see through my visor, but I'm glaring at you. Oh yes. Most furiously.
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)03:11 No.9787617
    Let her bleed out...

    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:11 No.9787625

    Oh, really? I guess they're not such a concern as I originally thought, then.
    >> Random Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)03:12 No.9787630
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    Oh get the fuck OUT. You fuckers send us head-long into grinding combat with horrific aliens who's war machines are terrifying and vile in the ways they'll dismember us, painfully and horrifically, and you expect us to be afraid of YOU? What are YOU assholes gonna do, SHOOT us? Really scary, HEY GUYS THIS JUST IN, WE'RE GONNA DIE BY GETTING SHOT. We're fucking Guardsmen, that's old news.

    Oh, you could torture us, but we could just accidentally the whole melta-bomb and take you WITH us before that happened.
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:12 No.9787631

    *Kicks slightly harder*

    Have another Sheepka.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)03:12 No.9787633
    Is that you Lord Lemman Russ you look...
    Girly im quite sure you were a boy according to the records>
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:13 No.9787649

    Stop. For the sake of whatever you respect, stop. I REALLY don't like when that...thing happens.
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)03:13 No.9787651
    Inquisitor, have you got a psy-damper around here anywhere? Because I could've SWORN I just repaired that nurse's injury.
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)03:14 No.9787665
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    I can always munch on this one... right?
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:14 No.9787666

    Probably on her person. Most Inquisitors would have one, I'd think, unless they had good reason not to.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)03:15 No.9787669
    What? why?
    Did you break yours?
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:15 No.9787676

    Have at 'im. Just watch out for the crunchy bits.
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:15 No.9787679
    *Flicks on pict-recorder and kicks harder*
    >> Jim Irons, Security Officier 05/13/10(Thu)03:15 No.9787680
    What the blazing hell is going on here?

    Inquisitor, what in the world possessed you to not call in some of the Emperor's finest to subdue a deranged guardsman and suicidal nurse?

    I swear. I only knew about this since I checked in on why someone was calling for medics.
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)03:17 No.9787695
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    Uh, yeah, you hear me? Yeah, got her on one of the servitor tables... oh, fuck no. Yeah. Right. Speak up, this comlink is shit.

    ... Yeah, that's it. Can you give me more? ... Yeah, that should do it. No brain damage on the scans... once we get the blood in her and fix the patch on her neck, should be all set.

    Yeah, grazed the spine, but a psyker here did some mojo before I got here, looks like its good as new. We'll have her on her feet in minutes, actually.

    ... Uh, no. Just... send it down on a robo gurney. Uh, you... you don't want to come down here. Trust me.
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)03:17 No.9787696
    No, but I tried using Biomancy - you know, psyker bullshit - on the nurse, and I thought it worked.

    Unless someone cut her again...
    *looks at everyone suspiciously*
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)03:17 No.9787699
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    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:17 No.9787703


    Back! You stay on THAT side of the room! *jumps away*
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:19 No.9787716
    Tell me then. I'll kick harder.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)03:19 No.9787717
    It was supposed to be a TOP SECRET OPERATION
    Throne if i didnt need them i would have sent this ship on a full course to a nearby star and be off to terra sunbathing while drinking tea with those little umbrellas on top do you understand?
    >> Att Kas Maintenance Crew 05/13/10(Thu)03:19 No.9787721
    Well fuck throne inquisitor, now we have to clean this entire hallway because there's blood everywhere.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:20 No.9787729

    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)03:20 No.9787734
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    ... sir, all due respect? How the fuck could you look at this scene for longer then two seconds and still expect a rational answer?

    This is the mouth of fucking madness here.
    >> Leman Russ 05/13/10(Thu)03:21 No.9787742
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    Oh yeah... this.

    Um, ignore it, everyone else does.
    >> Groggy Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)03:21 No.9787746

    Ugh... *coughs weakly as machines move away*

    Oh... I'm... no...

    *closes eyes, before silent tears run down her cheks toward her ears*
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:21 No.9787753
    Speak up. *Wiggles leg*
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:21 No.9787756

    Oh good. Despite your efforts to the contrary, you're still alive. Now calm down. Things may not be as bad as you think.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)03:22 No.9787757
    Alright, Inquisitor. You've got me. I'm an exhausted amputee who's just been cut a bum rap and might yet be turned into a drooling servitor...and yet I'm still willing to submit quietly to whatever this suicidal mission may be. Go ahead and blam me if you want, but I guarantee you'll have to look long and hard before you find another veteran Guardsman of my level with my natural talents.

    And YOU! Why didn't you say that there were clones of her earlier? We could have let her bleed out and I could have gotten my rocks off no problem.
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)03:22 No.9787765
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    >brb munching on guardsman
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:22 No.9787767

    Fucking hell. I turn into a bloody woman. Does it satisfy you to know that? Geh.
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)03:23 No.9787773
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    Oh hey Primarch.

    I had the opportunity to ask Fuuka about you two. She sent me a pict.
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:23 No.9787776
    Clones of the Sheepkas, not the nurse.
    >> Resigned Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)03:24 No.9787784
    I'm... i'm going to be... the servitor now... aren't I...
    >> Commissar Aedan 05/13/10(Thu)03:24 No.9787787
    I'm sorry, but I don't believe I know you. And unless I'm mistaken, you don't know me. So therefore you have no idea as to how I work or how I think. Shooting you is simple, inefficient, and above all, dull.
    When I punish a Guardsman, I make a point of it being complex, efficient, and exciting. For example, I could have you cleaning the latrines for the next few months, during which time I will usurp control of the kitchens and start demanding they make certain foods specifically designed to make your job a living hell. Also, you will sleep and eat down there (assuming you have cleaned them enough to clean them enough to eat out of, otherwise you will go hungry). And if you decide not to do your job and let the shit pile up around you, then I will bring you out into the main area, strip you naked, and have your genitals lashed with an electrowhip for everyone to see.
    Do I make myself clear, soldier?
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)03:24 No.9787788

    "...What? Did you do this to... yourself?"

    *looks at assorted cast of lunatics*

    ".... somehow, that makes sense."
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:25 No.9787807
    Interesting. I might want to study this further.

    Are you free to make an appointment?
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:26 No.9787810

    Maybe, maybe not. Depends on what the Inquisitor needs and desires of you.
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)03:26 No.9787811
         File1273735567.png-(109 KB, 500x400, 1268827912758.png)
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    Crap. Not that one. This one.
    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)03:26 No.9787817

    Sir, You are talking to a corpse...

    ... or what's left of it.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)03:26 No.9787818
    Ah, I see.

    ...are you sure this one isn't a Slaaneshi heretic, madam Inquisitor?

    *suddenly considerably more tender*
    Hey now, girl...surely it isn't that terrible a prospect? I really wasn't expecting the suicide attempt...most girls leap at the chance to be with one of the Emperor's Imperial Guardsmen.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)03:27 No.9787825
    No you aren't i have plans for you...now go to my private quarters
    >> Leman Russ 05/13/10(Thu)03:27 No.9787826
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    mmm... cookies.

    Also, another pic I don't remember.

    I need to stop... something other than drinking.

    Maybe take some fish oil caps or something.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:27 No.9787830
    Is that when Fuuka shoved Russ into a dress? That was adorable.

    No. Go piss off Fuuka and have her do it to you instead.
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:28 No.9787847
    But that's the thing, would it even effect me? I AM most machine after all.
    >> Jim Irons, Security Officier 05/13/10(Thu)03:28 No.9787848
    ... I'm not so sure. I think we should just go before someone shoots us.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)03:28 No.9787854
    No that guy isnt a slaaneshi cultist
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:29 No.9787861

    I'm pretty sure it'd work fine. It'd probably work even if she did it to a Necron.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)03:29 No.9787862
    Indeed. Like hell she's gonna be a servitor, after all that trouble.
    Say...private quarters? Now that's more like it, madam Inquisitor!
    >> Random Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)03:30 No.9787873
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    ... these assumptions, you make...

    To wit, two weeks ago our rear-area camp was over-run, and the only decent fighting position we could defend was the latrine trench. So that became our foxhole and trench. For three weeks. The commissary had been wiped out already, so we lived off strips of cold-cut Ork that we ate while standing up to our knees in shit.

    Did you know that smell is 90% of taste, Commisar? Because I sure as fucking hell know it now.

    As for balls and whips, I've got this funny story involving an amphibious op and the local species of Terran-imported jellyfish.

    Are you starting to comprehend?
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:31 No.9787888
    Good sir, I have an answer. I'd like to hire you as a full-time Experimentor!

    I offer free food and shelter, and high pay for exciting work that betters mankind! What do you say?
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)03:31 No.9787891
    Guardsman! You ate dead orks?
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)03:31 No.9787893
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    Oh bugger... I think I ate the wrong guardsman..
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:32 No.9787901

    I've worked alongside Sisters of Battle, Inquisitorial Stormtroopers, and under and Inquisitor LORD. If I were a heretic, I'd have been sent to the warp a LONG time ago.
    >> Commissar Aedan 05/13/10(Thu)03:32 No.9787904
    Am I? Well, so I am. Regardless, I'm glad that's settled and the fool has been dealt with. Drinks all around.
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)03:32 No.9787909
    Say, friend, do I know you? Weren't you my trench buddy fighting against the Orks down there?

    (Horny Guardsman is now the name for the amputee veteran who's trying like mad to get some tail, stay alive, and hold up his end of the deal with the Inquisitor...in that order)
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:32 No.9787916

    Surely you have room for another measly Guardsman?

    He's only wafer-thin!
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:33 No.9787920
    Hm, interesting. Fuuka seems to have disappeared though. Pity.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)03:33 No.9787921
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    >> Jim Irons, Security Officier 05/13/10(Thu)03:33 No.9787922
    I was right. Um. right. Ship stuff. Ship security stuff. I better go do ship stuff at some place that isn't here.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:33 No.9787923

    She'll be back. You'll have your chance.
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)03:34 No.9787929
    One would think so...
    *eyes him suspiciously*
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:34 No.9787938

    Save your roving eyes for the girls, lad.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)03:35 No.9787943
    Not reading the thread.

    How many posts did it take to rape the nurse?
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)03:35 No.9787946
    Anyway, what was that about private quarters, madam Inquisitor?
    >> Random Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)03:35 No.9787950

    I think? Either that, or we just chewed on them and spit it out and screamed and pissed on the bodies. Somewhere in there it all gets hazy. But there was rage, I remember that.

    We were about to get our first hot meal in MONTHS, and then... just... holy fucking... fuck.


    Oh yeah, I remember you. I think you got hit when... well, somebody just screamed SLOW YER ROLL SON and some Trukk or something with a Deff Rolla on it promptly stopped rolling. I remember that.
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)03:35 No.9787954
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    My stomach is smaller than a guant's, Im pretty sure half a guardsman was plenty.

    the rest of him is that mess over there
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)03:35 No.9787955
    I forgot what my plan is....hmmm
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:36 No.9787960

    I won't shoot you! It's an easy, but necessary job! No one seems to want to do it! That's why I have to pay high! Come on, you know a good deal when you see one don't you?
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:37 No.9787975

    Damn. Well, you can have him next time you're hungry then.
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)03:38 No.9787985
    Cool story bro. I think that's the last thing I remember before waking up in this madhouse. No offense, madam Inquisitor.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:39 No.9788000

    Honestly, either brainwash...I mean, 'cleanse the mind' of the nurse or give her some R&R to get herself in order. Or fire her, in which case I know of a merc crew looking for a medic.
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)03:39 No.9788001

    Hope you don't mind sending a bolt pistol down here, soon? I swore an oath for this ob, so I can't leave my patients, and she can't be moved yet.

    Did I mention I fucking hate this job?
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)03:39 No.9788004
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    That may take days
    >> Resigned Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)03:39 No.9788008

    I will go...

    *slowly stands, pats down bloody nurse smock and walks from the room. Her eyes are dull and seem to lack any emotion at all*
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)03:40 No.9788016
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    Somebody archive this thread, it's full of interplay and lulz.
    >> Jim Irons, Security Officier 05/13/10(Thu)03:40 No.9788018
    *over intercom* What the heck do you need a bolt--fuck it. Someone will be right down with that.
    >> Abaddon 05/13/10(Thu)03:41 No.9788023
    So /tg/ woke up, assumed the identity of an inquisotor , a merc, some tech magos, and then a liar showed up and still no nurse rape.

    /tg/ I am slightly proud

    my arms however are not amused and still missing
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:41 No.9788034
    Uh...she supposed to be lookin' like that?

    Well nevermind then. I'll be gone by then and he won't be a nuisance t'me.
    >> Random Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)03:42 No.9788041

    Shit, I just got lost on my way to the commissary. I've wanted a taco for so long it hurts.
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)03:42 No.9788045
    Hey, buddy, it's the Imperium. We all hate our jobs.

    *looks uneasily around*
    Think I should give her some time to recover, or should I go after her now? She seems...I dunno...maybe I should comfort her or something.
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)03:43 No.9788063
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    Pretty sure that one's been manipulated. I can tell from some of the stipples and seeing a few manipulations in my time.

    You may be able to lure her out with picts of Sheepkas, or Russes.


    It's entirely possible Russ has some sort of, um, "fondness" for dresses.
    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)03:43 No.9788065
    Commisar, sir.

    Is the behavior here entirely... orthodox?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)03:43 No.9788068
         File1273736630.jpg-(11 KB, 179x300, kohaku 2.jpg)
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    Now, where have I seen eyes like that before...
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)03:44 No.9788071
    Ay-Oh-Kay, bolter, bolter, we have a bolter. Now I'll just...

    did she just fucking WALK out of here? Oh god DAMMIT you can't let a suicide case just walk. I'll be right back.

    *waves bolter to punctuate statement*
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:44 No.9788073

    I'd wait. Go after her now and it's probably going to be like a warm doll. Let her get some life back in her eyes.
    >> Richard Prims, Owes Security Officier A Favor 05/13/10(Thu)03:44 No.9788084
    Hey, someone needed a bolt--umm... I don't know how to respond to this.

    I don't know what you're talking about, but I think clearly no one involved in this has been using the word 'think.' Go for it.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)03:45 No.9788097
    Good...why dont you rest on my bed
    and leave them for a while
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)03:45 No.9788101
    Point taken and appreciated, stormtrooper, but I think I'd better go with the medicae just in case.
    Yo doc, she went this way, I think.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:46 No.9788107

    Bah, shit, didn't think of that. I've got your back.
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)03:46 No.9788122
         File1273736817.jpg-(30 KB, 200x200, coffee.jpg)
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    I could always rape the nurse.
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)03:47 No.9788130
    *commotion from the next room over*


    >> Richard Prims, Owes Security Officier A Favor 05/13/10(Thu)03:47 No.9788132
    Damnit the hell Irons. This is the last time I go along with "I accept favors as collateral for bets," even if I had a full house.

    So... um.. guys? All you needed was the bolter right? I'm just ... uh... going to step back slowly and try not to be noticed...
    >> Blank Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)03:47 No.9788135
    *arrives at Inquisitor's quarters. Not even looking around, she walks to the bedside and sits on the edge, looking straight forward*
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)03:48 No.9788136
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)03:48 No.9788137
    What are you doing mr. kobrek
    cant you see the nurse is tired and WILL rest at MY ROOM?
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:48 No.9788138

    Gah! No, that pocket HAD her surgical tools! Look out!
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)03:49 No.9788150
    *Sticks his head back in the room*
    Like hell you will, xenos. Magos, I believe I speak for everyone when I say, put that thing back in its tube or whatever.
    *dashes back out*
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)03:49 No.9788162
    ...you're equipped for that? Just what sort of body are you in, anyway?

    Oh, and NO.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:50 No.9788170

    Whoa. Barely even reacting. It's like she's
    an automaton.


    I've no problem with that concept, Ma'am, but she's behavin' kinda funny. It might be best to keep an eye on her.
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)03:50 No.9788172
         File1273737017.jpg-(34 KB, 200x200, ^w^.jpg)
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    >my face
    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)03:50 No.9788179


    I think... this situation is slightly confusing...
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)03:51 No.9788196
    Agreed. I think the medicae and I will be fine, madam Inquisitor. We'll look after her.
    >> Leman Russ 05/13/10(Thu)03:52 No.9788211
         File1273737172.png-(5 KB, 104x122, LR (255).png)
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    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)03:53 No.9788224
         File1273737238.gif-(30 KB, 829x573, 40k.gif)
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    Oh, there you are. Yeah, thanks, I needed that. And don't you go anywhere. Come in here. MOVE it, goddamit, don't leave me alone with these psychopaths.

    Right, um... just keep an eye on the door of the cabin. I'm going to try and talk to her.

    *snaps fingers* Hey, kid, wake up. There's two big guys who are very sane and have bolters with them, you're safe. Saaafeee. Eh? Hello?
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)03:54 No.9788233
    *stands awkwardly in the door, looking at her*
    ...You should really get some rest, girl. The doc'll be in soon to check on you.
    >> Blank Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)03:55 No.9788237

    *looks blankly at the Meditech*

    If you require something, please say so.

    *her voice is monotone*
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)03:55 No.9788245

    Patting her down for weapons might be in order at this point.
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)03:56 No.9788258
         File1273737409.jpg-(44 KB, 395x600, 1259392137581.jpg)
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    "Oh, yeah. I require you to SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT, DUMBASS, I've got your scan right here, you have no brain damage, and-

    wait, did you say something about servitors?"
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)03:57 No.9788264
    Mr.Medic I'll be sure to keep an eye at her
    you and the others can now leave my room
    *takes off coat and slowly reach for the nurses surgical tools in pocket*
    youre safe now dont worry
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)03:57 No.9788268

    What is your name?
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)03:58 No.9788277
         File1273737491.jpg-(156 KB, 800x800, 14322415c0ddec2a496f4196ddd3ba(...).jpg)
    156 KB
    It's scary how many of these picts there are. We were wandering through an Inquisition datavault that's full of them. They may be assembling it in case they need to charge the Space Wolves with heresy.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)03:58 No.9788278

    What the hell, doc? If her brainscan's normal, why's she actin' this way?
    >> Richard Prims, Owes Security Officier A Favor 05/13/10(Thu)03:58 No.9788279
    But but... The blood... the spider guy... This isn't good... this isn't good...
    >> Blank Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)03:58 No.9788287

    *Doesn't respond even in the slightest to being disarmed. Her eyes just look ahead*
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:00 No.9788303
         File1273737625.jpg-(23 KB, 360x360, mrpopo.jpg)
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    >Mr.Medic I'll be sure to keep an eye at her

    Oh SURE you will, INQUISITOR. Because keeping people ALIVE is what you're ALL ABOUT. Hands off. She's still unstable, or some shit. You're liable to catch something, quite possibly a bolter round.

    That goes for the REST of you psychopaths, too.
    >> Imperial Guardsman Number 3(?) 05/13/10(Thu)04:00 No.9788311

    But it would take some kind of tactical genius to make her into a servitor while we were all around her!
    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)04:01 No.9788320
    Don't worry. There's far worse than this.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)04:01 No.9788321
         File1273737686.jpg-(123 KB, 417x500, e0bfabd4b655bd4fbac3c2efc211fa(...).jpg)
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    The amounts of murder and rape in this thread are nowhere near quota.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)04:01 No.9788323

    You keep using that word. I am thinking it does not mean what you think it means.
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:02 No.9788327
         File1273737729.jpg-(13 KB, 150x171, no_shit_sherlock.jpg)
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    >this isn't good
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)04:02 No.9788333

    Goes double for the xenos and the magos.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)04:02 No.9788334
    *Hands the tools to the medic*
    yes im quite sure of it now, are you threatening me medic?
    *takes off various inquisitional accessories*
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)04:02 No.9788336

    What is your name?
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)04:03 No.9788338


    I barely know 'er!
    >> Leman Russ 05/13/10(Thu)04:03 No.9788339
         File1273737788.jpg-(85 KB, 850x637, LR (38).jpg)
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    Bring em on.
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:04 No.9788351



    I'm pretty sure 'psycopath' is the perfect word for everyone involved in this situation who isn't me, the good security officer, or the mind-fucked nurse.

    Hold on, I'm going to give her a stim-shot. Looks like she's suffering extreme shock from jamming a fucking saw into her own neck. Funny how that works.
    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)04:04 No.9788354

    You're out of order! Unhand your weapon!
    >> Liar's Keeper 05/13/10(Thu)04:04 No.9788356
         File1273737887.jpg-(85 KB, 300x539, annoyed.jpg)
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    I heard a certain Zoanthrope was hanging around here
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)04:05 No.9788368
    You're out of line boy. I am an Honoured Magos and you will show me respect.

    Besides, I only want a servitor, I can easily pick up the pieces left from the xeno. My wants are fulfilled.
    >> Blank Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)04:05 No.9788369

    *looks at the tech wordlessly, just blankly staring into his photosensory orbs. Just staring. Blankly. Staaaaaaaaaaaaare.*
    >> Richard Prims, Owes Security Officier A Favor 05/13/10(Thu)04:06 No.9788376
    Oh shit no! They said they'd take me away from the fighting, put me on a nice, safe ship! NO MORE FIGHTING NO MORE FIGHTING!

    *Prims produces a knife from his back pocket and proceeds to stab himself repeatedly in the neck.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)04:06 No.9788381

    Nonsense. The majority of my advice has been towards the benefit of the majority. And admittedly I'm here because I can't trust other people around potential trouble and have to deal with it myself.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)04:06 No.9788385
    Throne dammit commissar and security guy how the warp these xenos are inside this ship?
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)04:07 No.9788392
    You're a perverted scalpel-happy cogboy is what you are, and the only one who gets respect at this point is the Inquisitor, seeing as how I'm in her employ. If she tells me to make nice, then I'll make nice, but not before.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)04:07 No.9788397
    Fucking hell! MEDIC! You've got another one on your plate!

    Not sure where he got to, but he just ate half a Guardsman. Might be sleeping it off.
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)04:08 No.9788401
    And what the hell is wrong with this guy? Guess you're the only sane one left, doc.
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:08 No.9788402
         File1273738092.jpg-(104 KB, 562x437, hahaha_fuckyou.jpg)
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    "... In Soviet Russia, UNDERLINGS BLAM YOU!"
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)04:08 No.9788404
    Yep. How's things, Tyrant?

    Hm. Subject is not responding. Well. What shall we call the Nurse gentlemen?

    Oh goody another servitor!
    >> Liar's Keeper 05/13/10(Thu)04:08 No.9788406
         File1273738108.jpg-(274 KB, 800x600, roll for luck.jpg)
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    We have ways of getting around

    your guardsmen are pretty easily coaxed sometimes

    >flashes snapshot
    >> Nameless 05/13/10(Thu)04:08 No.9788410
         File1273738136.jpg-(168 KB, 800x600, horo vs cat.jpg)
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    Yah, you know, if they can make a heresy charge stick, they can set the other Astartes on you, don't you?

    Anyways, just thought you should know. And I've completely skipped over the files they labled "Fappage", "MegaFappage", and "GIGAFappage."

    Later. Errands to run an' stuff.
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:09 No.9788416

    *looks at the Junior commisar*

    "... uh, make that three?"
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)04:10 No.9788420
    Perverted?! Where in the galaxy did you get this idea?!
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)04:10 No.9788425
    *Gently lays the nurse in bed, remove my gloves, put weapons and stuff at the drawer near the bed*
    Gentlemen? shes trying to rest and i want my privacy
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)04:11 No.9788433

    Throne DAMN IT. I'll try and keep one alive until you can get to 'im, but I've only got two hands.
    >> Liar's Keeper 05/13/10(Thu)04:11 No.9788440
         File1273738313.jpg-(148 KB, 500x600, Gameface.jpg)
    148 KB

    :/ wonderful, hes more elusive now than he was when he was an Eldar.

    He's got ways of hiding from synapse...
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:11 No.9788442
         File1273738319.jpg-(34 KB, 350x498, 1253515911909.jpg)
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    "Right, okay, got plastiseals on Prim's neck- he missed the esophagus but got his carteroid. We'll have to do a proper tissue regen on that before he can do much.

    I'm not going to do shit about his balls, though. If he didn't want them kicked he shouldn't have been a fuckwit."
    >> Abaddon 05/13/10(Thu)04:13 No.9788461

    and now for some inquisitorial rape. proving once and for all that my arms are still missing.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)04:13 No.9788464
    Good luck finding him. I've no idea where he got off to.

    Balls he doesn't need. Ye can regrow those anyway, can't ye?
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:14 No.9788477
         File1273738473.jpg-(22 KB, 265x302, 1260036021834.jpg)
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    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)04:14 No.9788478
    *removing my carapace breastplate*
    Can you guys leave my room now and wipe the blood on the floor
    >> Liar's Keeper 05/13/10(Thu)04:14 No.9788480
         File1273738489.jpg-(23 KB, 232x224, '3'.jpg)
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    Going well enough I suppose. hearing that people want me to have a breast war with Leman Russ was an interesting highlight...
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)04:14 No.9788482
    Busy day, eh doc?

    Just don't even start with me.

    So Inquisitor, might be the wrong time to ask but when am I gonna get my roboarms?
    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)04:15 No.9788487

    This is madness! You are threatening a member of the Inquisition, and an Imperial Commisar! Do you not see the insanity of your actions?
    >> Blank Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)04:15 No.9788488

    *Does nothing to stop her. Just falls back limply, staring up at the ceiling blankly*
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)04:15 No.9788492

    Colour me intrigued.
    >> Jim Irons, Security Officier 05/13/10(Thu)04:16 No.9788499
    People are shooting each other, stabbing themselves, and generally everything other than this ship warping into a star has happened, and that's your reaction?

    You're all fucking crazy the lot of you!
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)04:16 No.9788500
    I'll be off as soon as the doc and I can move these bodies. Unless they're your thing, in which case we can leave once they're just stabilized.
    >> Liar's Keeper 05/13/10(Thu)04:17 No.9788510
         File1273738634.jpg-(13 KB, 160x130, smirk.jpg)
    13 KB

    Well I should be going... I'll have to find that creature later...
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)04:17 No.9788512
    Commissar can you please escort them out of the room
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)04:17 No.9788517
    And I'll go, as long as I can be assured that a) I'll eventually get some, b) nobody touches that nurse but me, and c) that I'll get my roboarms.
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)04:18 No.9788525
    Breast war?
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:18 No.9788530

    What, you mean solving all your problems by SHOOTING THEM WITH A BOLT PISTOL is madness? That's pretty fucking funny coming from a Commisar.

    ... but you have a point. Why let you live? I could just overdose you with this painkiller here and you won't be around to tell anybody I shot you. And the Inquisitor just wants to rape the fuck out of that Nurse as soon as we're out of here, or something to that effect. Doubt she'll care.

    Uh, Kobrek, can you prop up Prims so he doesn't take up so much floor space? Don't slip on the blood."
    >> Liar's Keeper 05/13/10(Thu)04:19 No.9788545
         File1273738798.jpg-(49 KB, 200x300, mhmmmmmm.jpg)
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    I brought a brood of Warriors, they are entertaining a few guardsmen a few rooms back, or perhaps you would like something different?
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)04:20 No.9788551
    *Mounts the nurse*
    Dont worry guardsman just head to the operating room so the operation can begin
    mr.Jim I've seen worse things than this
    >> Commissar Aedan 05/13/10(Thu)04:20 No.9788553
    My dear medic. You seem to be one of the few rational people here, and as such you will realize that it would be far better for you to promptly move this man to a facility better equipped to save his life than an Inquisitor's sleeping quarters.

    As for the rest of you, I suggest you leave the Inquisitor and her guest immediately before I ask her to allow me the privilege of executing you all with extreme prejudice.
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:20 No.9788554
         File1273738827.jpg-(8 KB, 251x251, 1210488918399.jpg)
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    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)04:20 No.9788558

    Security officer. If you can still hear this I need a full attache of loyal troops sent to this area!
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)04:21 No.9788560
    >I could just overdose you with this painkiller here and you won't be around to tell anybody I shot you
    Huh, I just realized I left my pict-recorder on.
    >> Kobrek Mehlman, Mercenary Stormtrooper 05/13/10(Thu)04:21 No.9788561

    Sure thing. Good luck doin' yer job. This nurse is well beyond what I can handle, and...yeah. I'm takin' my boy from yer body 'n fender and getting him off this ship. Like, now.

    Good luck, mate.
    >> Liar's Keeper 05/13/10(Thu)04:21 No.9788569
         File1273738911.jpg-(23 KB, 153x183, what.jpg)
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    Time to gooooo~

    >> Blank Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)04:22 No.9788572

    *Doesn't respond at all, apart to breathe shallowly. Doesn't seem to blink*
    >> Jim Irons, Security Officier 05/13/10(Thu)04:22 No.9788573
    Right. Well um. There's a problem with that. This incident aside it's looking like we've got loyal and competent : pick one. No seriously, which squad do you want?
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:23 No.9788579
         File1273738998.jpg-(33 KB, 225x603, 1228183314699.jpg)
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    Sounds good to me. Korbek, if you could grab Prims... Commisar, if you could grab, uh, the Commisar here, and I'll carry-

    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)04:23 No.9788581
    I see what you two are trying to do.
    Well...fine. You're the Inquisitor, I guess you get first dibs. Don't ruin her for me though, or the deal's off, roboarms or no roboarms.

    What exactly are you offering here?
    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)04:23 No.9788586
    But sir, that medic has been wildly flailing around a bolt-pistol and threatening the inquisitor for the past several minutes!

    Nonetheless, you are correct. The injured man is the only one here clearly free of taint.
    >> Leman Russ 05/13/10(Thu)04:25 No.9788596
         File1273739106.png-(432 KB, 1110x960, deyseemerollin.png)
    432 KB

    Also: >implying we can't take them all on.
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:25 No.9788603
         File1273739140.jpg-(180 KB, 530x643, just as rand.jpg)
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    >Huh, I just realized I left my pict-recorder on.

    Presumably it also recorded a trained Commisar losing the draw to a medico? Oh yeah, he's gonna want THAT floating around.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)04:27 No.9788629
    *whispers into the nurse*
    dont worry...
    *takes off her uniform*
    *nips the tip of her right ear*
    >> Liar's Keeper 05/13/10(Thu)04:27 No.9788630
         File1273739257.jpg-(36 KB, 200x200, yeaahh.jpg)
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    please see

    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)04:28 No.9788642
    Like I care what happens to him or you. I was remarking is all.

    Ah well. This has been most annoying. The only new development for me is that Fuuka has a curse. Must study further.

    *Picks up the remains of the half-eaten guardsman*

    Now if you'll excuse me, I have a servitor to make. If anyone wants a biotic arm, just vox me, I might get you one for the right price.
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)04:28 No.9788646
         File1273739325.jpg-(38 KB, 200x200, shadows.jpg)
    38 KB
    rolled 18 = 18

    >Watching from closet
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)04:30 No.9788666
    Well, since it doesn't look like I'll be getting the nurse any time soon...*looks regretfully at the nurse and busy Inquisitor*
    Feel up to a little fun?
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:30 No.9788671
         File1273739430.jpg-(58 KB, 320x240, batman_crying_out_loud.jpg)
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    ... okay, a man can only take so much. I'd shoot all of you crazy fucks, but then I'm obliged to treat you, and three or four superior officers screaming for my head even as I save their lives is just too much bullshit for me to put up with at once.

    I'll give you brass hats a few minutes to arrive at a conclusion that doesn't involve an innocent nurse being raped or a fucking hull breach to hard vaccum. How's that sound?
    >> Blank Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)04:31 No.9788694

    *Allows bloody uniform to be removed without a fuss, staring blankly at the roof. Breathing remains constantly shallow, but her skin seems paler*
    >> Liar's Keeper 05/13/10(Thu)04:31 No.9788695
         File1273739506.jpg-(8 KB, 172x58, open invitation.jpg)
    8 KB

    oh they are right this way~
    >> Liar 05/13/10(Thu)04:33 No.9788725
         File1273739613.jpg-(8 KB, 121x67, shadowswatching.jpg)
    8 KB
    rolled 10 = 10

    >continues watching
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)04:33 No.9788727
    *stops mounting the nurse*
    can you guys please leave the room now
    *wearing a tank top with pants and boots*
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:34 No.9788730
         File1273739642.gif-(5 KB, 176x377, dracula_wut_blank.gif)
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    "... Inquisitor, please stop that. There's blood all over the floor in here, and there's a techpriest and... xenos... and... just.... please stop. Before you ruin girl on girl for me, forever."
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)04:34 No.9788733
    Makes me wish I still had my dick.

    And no Mind-Linked Experimentors nearby. *Sigh*
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)04:34 No.9788735

    Yo doc, you're a great guy. Sorry I had to contribute to the lunacy. But before I go,
    You might wanna check on her once more...don't think the Inquisitor is doing nice things
    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)04:35 No.9788744

    *Panic* --Draws bolt Pistol
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)04:36 No.9788759
    *dives on top of the medic*
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)04:37 No.9788772
    *takes a bolt pistol from under the pillow and points it at the commissar*
    what!? cant take the pressure Jr.commissar?
    you're still green, take that away before you hurt your self
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:37 No.9788775

    *drops all preamble and dives for the bed, tackling both nurse and Inquisitor to the ground on the opposite side of the bed*

    >> Harry Hill, Gaurdsman? 05/13/10(Thu)04:38 No.9788782
    Hey, um... Jim said you needed me an Ike here to shoot someone--oh it looks like you're taking the initiative without us. Good show. *Proceeds to lean back against the wall and watch*
    >> Liar 05/13/10(Thu)04:38 No.9788788
         File1273739925.jpg-(38 KB, 200x200, warp ability.jpg)
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    rolled 18 = 18


    >rolling to remove laspistol from hand with warp ability
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:38 No.9788794

    So what we have here-

    1. Doc dives for Inquisitor and Nurse.
    2. Horny Guardsman Dives for Doc.
    3. Inquisitor draws weapon and makes pithy one-liner.
    4. Doc hits nurse and inqusitor, then Guardsman lands on top of them.

    This is a SPECTACULAR clusterfuck, oh yes.
    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)04:39 No.9788798
    -Alternatively levels pistol at every visible person except the Sr Commisar

    "Sir!" "Sir!" "What do I do!"
    >> Abaddon 05/13/10(Thu)04:39 No.9788803
    All this cock/twat blocking could have only been planed by a tactical genius.

    Creed is here somewhere
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)04:40 No.9788809
    *takes medic off of me then takes a rosarius from the drawer*
    >> Blank Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)04:41 No.9788820
    *Hits the floor in just panties and nurse-hat with doc on top of her. Blankly stares up at the doc*
    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)04:41 No.9788832
    rolled 7 = 7


    >Rolling to prevent BOLT pistol from flying off.
    >> Harry Hill, Gaurdsman? 05/13/10(Thu)04:42 No.9788834
    Hey, I thin that one ther likes you doc!
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:42 No.9788836
         File1273740144.jpg-(54 KB, 500x375, 404.jpg)
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    *takes oppertunity to roll under the bed, bringing the Nurse with him*

    "Hey, Guardsman, I think there's room under here for you. Grab a pillow or two if you can."
    >> Commissar Aedan 05/13/10(Thu)04:42 No.9788841
    Right. That's it. I'm out of here. I probably should start shooting you all on general principles, but since there's an Inquisitor present, I'll let her handle it.
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)04:42 No.9788842
    *Looks down at the corpse still in his arms and looks back at the Jr. Commissar*

    "Yeah, I don't feel like repairing myself. I'm uh...gonna just work on this servitor."

    *Slowly crawls out of the room*
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:43 No.9788847
         File1273740218.jpg-(26 KB, 311x459, unfuck_yourself.jpg)
    26 KB

    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)04:44 No.9788852
         File1273740265.jpg-(23 KB, 200x200, warp ability.jpg)
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    >d20 7 vs d20 18, isn't that a disarm?
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)04:44 No.9788854
    *turns the rosarius on then proceed to nearby cabinet while pointing bolt pistol at the Jr.Commissar*
    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)04:45 No.9788858

    Right right... Excelent thinking... excelent.

    >backs off slowly

    I'l just have to get a new gun...
    >> Commissar Aedan 05/13/10(Thu)04:45 No.9788860
    I suggest you promptly leave, either with me or on your own. This is getting out of hand and at this point I'm inclined to let the Inquisitor handle it herself.
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)04:45 No.9788864
    *stands up slowly*
    Much obliged doc, but I think it's time to end this whole damn thing. Good luck. Take care of the nurse.

    Go ahead. Shoot me. Maybe you'll put the fucking gun down and let the Inquisitor handle things after you've got some aggression out.
    >> Ike Hill, Gaurdsman? 05/13/10(Thu)04:46 No.9788876
    Well fuck. Looks like the doc like Harry. What do they call that again, triangles?
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:47 No.9788885

    "Kid, if you get shot I will be extremely annoyed. I don't get paid for overtime. Careful up there."
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)04:48 No.9788897
    >I'l just have to get a new gun...
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)04:48 No.9788900
         File1273740539.jpg-(9 KB, 198x66, just as planned.jpg)
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    <You are now all aware his bolt pistol was thrown across the room.>
    >> Blank Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)04:49 No.9788905
    *slowly moves, crawling out from under the bed. Slowly standing, she blankly looks over at her target. The Inquisitor, her near-molester. Nurse's skin is almost white, bare under the room's lights. Emotionless, she takes a step forward.*
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)04:49 No.9788909
    *open the cabinet looks a 'nid but proceeds to take a power sword inside*
    you're getting on my nerves boy, medic take the nurse back to clinic, and you magos give that horny guy his arms now
    >> Harry Hill, Gaurdsman? 05/13/10(Thu)04:49 No.9788913
    Hey, um, sir? why aren't we making with the shooting on that Xeno there. They told us we were going to shoot stuff and we were kinda looking forward to it.
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)04:51 No.9788936
         File1273740690.jpg-(13 KB, 121x83, Not as planned.jpg)
    13 KB
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)04:51 No.9788938
    looks at nurse
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:51 No.9788940

    "Oh for the love of fuck-"

    *puts hand on Nurse's shoulder, gently*

    "C'mon kid, let's get out of here. Please? I can't leave my patient. Please come along so we can get the fuck out of here?"
    >> Blank Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)04:51 No.9788941

    *shoves the medic aside, eyes locked on the female Inquisitor. Step by step, she slowly closes the distance, eyes never wavering*
    >> Horny Guardsman 05/13/10(Thu)04:51 No.9788942
    ...well fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

    Well doc, you've been a real bro. Best of luck, and best of luck to the nurse. I'm off to commit some heresy with >>9788695 before anything else crazy happens.
    Take care.
    *walks out*

    (hope this thread gets archived, it's been a blast)
    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)04:52 No.9788946
    Have trust in the Commisar. It's not good here.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)04:53 No.9788963
    *stares at the nurse but readies the sword*

    (hope it gets archived)
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)04:54 No.9788969
         File1273740849.jpg-(16 KB, 247x248, denton_oh_fuck.jpg)
    16 KB

    "... OH SHI-"

    *bolts out of the door*
    >> Abaddon 05/13/10(Thu)04:54 No.9788972
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)04:55 No.9788981
    >> Blank Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)04:56 No.9788992

    *Stepping forward until they are mere inches apart, the nurse stares deeply into the Inquisitor's eyes, her eyes barely focussing in their depths. Silently, she draws her arms up and takes the Inquisitor's head in her hands before drawing her close and kissing her, all the emotion left in her put into this soft, warm kiss. When the moment ends she draws away, eyes barely opening, before taking a step backwards. Her eyes are worse. It is as if her blank eyes were full of emotion and joy compared to this. She tilts her head slightly.*

    It's time for me to go.

    *her voice is still monotone as ever*
    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)04:57 No.9789003
         File1273741055.jpg-(135 KB, 1024x768, 1273389572557.jpg)
    135 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)04:58 No.9789011
    >> Blank Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)04:59 No.9789030

    *slowly she turns and waves her hand in a circular motion before drawing back. A gate to a green land appears, animals and a stream audible through the gate. Taking one last, emotionless look back at the Inquisitor, she says her farewell.*

    Thank you.

    *Stepping forward into the light, naked skin white as fresh linen, she steps out of view before the portal closes, a gust of air blowing out into the room. Her Imperial nursing pin spins on the floor before falling still*
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)05:00 No.9789037
    *sweep her off of her feet (carrying her like a princess) tears forming in her eyes then gently lies her in bed *
    stand down jr.commissar

    (hope it gets archived)
    >> Harry Hill, Gaurdsman? 05/13/10(Thu)05:01 No.9789050
    Damn. Uh, can we go to that place if we kill Orks good?
    >> Fucking Liar 05/13/10(Thu)05:01 No.9789052
         File1273741295.jpg-(38 KB, 200x200, grrreat.jpg)
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    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)05:01 No.9789055

    Workin on it
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)05:02 No.9789057
    (posted at the same time ...dont mind my last post)
    pick up the pin
    >> in another area meanwhile 05/13/10(Thu)05:02 No.9789064
         File1273741357.jpg-(104 KB, 400x400, kissface.jpg)
    104 KB
    >gnight /tg/
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)05:02 No.9789069

    Hey losers. I was the first one to actually vote for this to be archived. Make with the voting!
    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)05:03 No.9789077

    Damned warp... Nothing good of it!
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)05:05 No.9789102

    Doesn't look like it archived properly... eh, whatever, I'm exhausted. It was a blast, /tg/.
    >> Gemini, AKA Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)05:05 No.9789106
         File1273741544.jpg-(9 KB, 199x170, Good Av 3.jpg)
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    The pin is warm to the touch. When the Inquisitor picks it up, it is as if all the happy memories the nurse experienced wearing it are visited upon her, giving a feeling of peace. Once her most treasured item, she has given it freely to the Inquisitor, no longer needing happiness where she has travelled to.

    If you hold it close and concentrate, you can hear the nurse's love.
    >> Fuckign Liar 05/13/10(Thu)05:05 No.9789109
         File1273741557.jpg-(29 KB, 200x200, Warpfire.jpg)
    29 KB
    rolled 7 = 7

    >rolls to escape!!!!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 05/13/10(Thu)05:06 No.9789125
    As upbeat as that sounds, the chain of events still makes me feel like we did something horrible.
    >> Gemini, AKA Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)05:07 No.9789143
         File1273741643.jpg-(9 KB, 196x174, Good Av 4 (2).jpg)
    9 KB

    In any case, thanks for the game but now I have real players waiting for me to get off and GM for them. I did ponder going mental with the nurse, but this ending was acceptable.

    Thank you all, it was a good thread.
    >> Ryan O'Malley, Meditech 05/13/10(Thu)05:08 No.9789157
         File1273741707.jpg-(83 KB, 640x445, just_as_planned_maverick.jpg)
    83 KB
    >> Fuckign Liar 05/13/10(Thu)05:08 No.9789160
         File1273741714.jpg-(35 KB, 200x200, whatzoa.jpg)
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    fuck me...
    >> Commissar Aedan 05/13/10(Thu)05:09 No.9789172
    Good thing we've left already, eh? Call in a battleship to destroy the warp-tainted thing, will you? I need to contact the Inquisition and inform them of the fate of Inquisitor Payne. After that I think I could use a stiff drink. Care to join me?
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)05:09 No.9789175
    *Puts the pin inside her pocket wipes the tears wears her inquisitional uniform puts a stern face tears still continue to roll down her cheek*
    *leaves the room and goes to the bridge of the ship*
    >> Gemini, AKA Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)05:09 No.9789179
         File1273741768.jpg-(8 KB, 181x161, Evil Av 1.jpg)
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    A person separated of all warmth and love, crossing into a paradise land? I believe you're mistaken, good sir. Don't worry yourself, just lay back and decide that yes, she is happy there.
    >> Fuckign Liar 05/13/10(Thu)05:11 No.9789201
         File1273741874.jpg-(22 KB, 200x200, lucky fucker.jpg)
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    Oh cool

    >> Tech Magos Theodore Bubbles 05/13/10(Thu)05:12 No.9789213
         File1273741920.jpg-(139 KB, 676x461, 1272287593797.jpg)
    139 KB
    Damn. Only one servitor.
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)05:12 No.9789216
    Commissars what youve seen here in this blasted ship
    it never happened
    do you understand me?
    >> Niklaus Ghallager, Jr Commisar 05/13/10(Thu)05:13 No.9789229
    *mumbles something* YES! Yes sir right on it.

    Did I perform as poorly sir?
    >> Inquisitor Dahlia Payne 05/13/10(Thu)05:17 No.9789285
    Thanks guys it's been a blast vote for it fags
    imma draw things and post it later 'kay
    >> Gemini, AKA Imperial Nurse 05/13/10(Thu)05:18 No.9789298
         File1273742325.jpg-(9 KB, 199x170, Good Av 3 (1).jpg)
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    I don't think I'll be on. Could you archive that one so I can check it tomorrow?
    >> Commissar Aedan 05/13/10(Thu)05:21 No.9789323
    I will not recount anything of what I saw or heard this day, ma'am. However I would be remiss in my duties if I did not take the necessary measures in the event of a warp rift inside an Imperium ship. I do hope you understand.

    No, you performed as well as could be expected under the circumstances. You carried out the orders given to you by your superior and that is all that can be asked.

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