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  • File : 1273897106.jpg-(57 KB, 711x513, sadtrooper2.jpg)
    57 KB Imperial Chaplain 05/15/10(Sat)00:18 No.9824964  
    Please post in this thread if you were affected by the Rebel's attack on the Death Star. Many need closure and I'm here to help.
    >> 40Kfag from /m/ !!t8iiyj3DIqR 05/15/10(Sat)00:20 No.9825000
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    >He was beaten by teddy bears with sticks and stones
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:20 No.9825013
    >>9825000
    Those were just scout troopers, they hadn't received the jeanseed yet
    >> Stormtrooper D-284921-382010 (inactive) 05/15/10(Sat)00:21 No.9825028
    All my friends died that day. I was on leave. I haven't slept in months; every time I close my eyes, I see their faces. If I was there, maybe I could have changed something.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:21 No.9825034
    i'm from alderaan

    eat a dick
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:22 No.9825044
    I was held back a year at the Academy, because I failed Accident Avoidance 305. If I'd passed, I'd have been on the Death Star with all 3,552 of my friends and comrades in what should have been my graduating class.

    I should have been there.

    It should have been me.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:22 No.9825048
    I... I was just a day laborer, moving and unloading the shuttles that went up there and helping out all those fresh-faced recruits that were drafted into the army. They payed me well and so my family could survive. With it gone... I can't feed my children anymore. We lost so many jobs when the Death Star blew up. Damn those Rebels, DAMN THEM! Friggin' Insurgents.
    >> Qes !OZqrVI/9AU 05/15/10(Sat)00:22 No.9825051
    It was 27 years ago man! Unless you're talking about the first one, in which case it was 33 years ago.

    Let it go man. Let it go.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:22 No.9825054
    >>9825000
    Fun thing to consider about those teddy bears.

    They were gonna eat Luke.

    Notice how they're using Stormtrooper helmets for drums?

    Luke takes another bite and grins, knowing that if he says a word, he's next...
    >> LaBambaMan 05/15/10(Sat)00:23 No.9825080
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    >> Imperial Chaplain 05/15/10(Sat)00:23 No.9825082
    >>9825044
    >>9825028
    Stop blaming yourselves. You're experiencing survivor's guilt. It's not your fault.
    It's not your fault.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:24 No.9825104
    Those were the droids I was looking for.
    I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:26 No.9825148
    >>9825104
    /thread.
    >> Imperial Chaplain 05/15/10(Sat)00:26 No.9825150
    >>9825104
    It's okay. You're just one man. Those Jedi, they do... things. They make you forget. You couldn't have done anything else.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:28 No.9825183
    >>9825082
    It's just that I was going into Turbolaser Targetting with an emphasis on Fighter Defense. All my instructors said I could have hit a Tach from orbit with a hand blaster.

    If I'd been there...A million souls, man. A million souls and if I'd been there...I've run the simulations. Every time, I save the Star.

    I could have saved them...
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:30 No.9825225
    >>9825150
    That kind of mind control is exactly why the Emperor had to take them out.

    Imagine hundreds of those terrorists running around, man. I mean, even if they could just control minds...but they can do other stuff, too.

    I mean, I've got a friend who served on the Executor. The stories he tells when he gets drunk...
    >> The Noghri People Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:30 No.9825240
         File1273897859.jpg-(2.04 MB, 1437x2800, NoghriNEGAS.jpg)
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    Anyone that served the Empire deserved the death they got.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:31 No.9825252
    I still remember where I was the day the Death Star was destroyed. I was patrolling on Byss, as usual. Then I hear over my comlink that it's been obliterated. My brother was on there.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:32 No.9825266
    >>9825183
    You've gotta remember, man. They had Jedi. Like >>9825150 said, they do...things. Even with your accuracy, they would've made you miss.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:34 No.9825309
    >>9825252
    Me, I was interrogating some Rebel scum. Someone rushed in and told me. Next thing I knew, I was beating the Reb's brains into the tiles. I'm still on psychiatric leave.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:34 No.9825321
    >>9825240
    >Just because some Imperial activities might hurt some nonhumans, all Imperials deserve to die.

    Man, that's exactly the kind of crap the Separatists were saying back in my Dad's day.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:35 No.9825352
    ...I saw a Rodian raise a gun to a smuggler in a bar

    The smuggler shot him in retaliation

    Why would they do that? The galaxy is a terrible place...
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:36 No.9825361
    >>9825240
    Go suck Thrawn's dick.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:36 No.9825366
    >>9825352
    What are you talking about? That Rodian shot at him first!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:37 No.9825389
    >>9825366
    >>9825352
    Guys, guys. We're all good Imperial subjects here. Let's agree that both of them are assholes.
    >> Trooper Gamma-12984387 05/15/10(Sat)00:37 No.9825390
    Half the people I had ever gotten close to and known were on the Death Star when it was destroyed. I was going to be serving as a guard for some detainees on the station, but due to a random mix-up with the flight plans, I ended up serving in the ground assault at Endor.

    Those fucking bears. I still hear their shrieks at night. The faces of my friends torment me in my sleep. I should've died with them... I... I wish those fucking bears had just killed me there on Endor.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:38 No.9825403
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    >>9825366
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:38 No.9825415
    As much as I want to sympathize with the people who died in the Death Star's destruction, it's difficult to do so when it was meant to destroy entire planets. It was already used to destroy Alderaan, which had several billion people on it, and I don't think it would have been the last.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:38 No.9825422
    >>9825352
    I know what you mean.

    I was part of a team sent to shut down some Tibanna smuggling on Bespin.

    Before I knew it, a bunch of Rebels with a Jedi in tow stormed the place, shot dozens of our people, and set a goddamn Wookiee loose. I heard they kidnapped the administrator, too.

    Blando or something.

    Poor guy.
    >> Death Dark !!JStiKQ4Vh2U 05/15/10(Sat)00:39 No.9825445
    My life for the Empire!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:40 No.9825448
    Everyone I've ever known died that day. And Hoth. Fucking Hoth. Those speeders destroyed the AT-AT I was in. I'm lucky to be alive. I'm not so lucky that I broke my spine and was burned over 75% of my body.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:40 No.9825450
    The Imperials deserved to die. The real tragedy is the contracted labor. Should a man die just for trying to give his family a living?
    >> Nameless 05/15/10(Sat)00:40 No.9825456
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    It was... it was the voices, man! The voice in my head! It wouldn't let me stop! I had to... Don't you SEE?! I had to do it.
    Just like Baker's Canyon. I had to do it. Just like back home.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:41 No.9825480
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    ...So many deaths...
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:41 No.9825485
    >>9825366
    >That Rodian shot at him first!

    I actually have a friend who claims to be a diehard Star Wars fan, yet has never seen the original version of 4, 5, and 6.

    He doesn't believe that Han shot first. Sometimes I try to troll him by saying Han shot first, but he counters by "forgetting" that I explained it to him already.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:42 No.9825502
    >>9825415
    Yeah, as if Alderaan wasn't well-known as a serious Rebel base. I mean, sure, the remaining Alderaanians go on about being a peaceful people without weapons, but have you ever looked at the specs for one of their freighters?

    Those fucking things can fight off a Star Destroyer for like, 20 minutes. They call the things "Blockade Runners" for fuck's sake.

    Are you going to look me in the eye and say a million loyal Imperials deserved to die because a bunch of Headphone-Heads lost their weapons depot planet? HUH?

    YOU THINK SOME FUCKING ALDERAANIAN IS WORTH MY FUCKING COUSIN'S LIFE?!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:42 No.9825507
    The Emperor was power mad, if damn near any of the moffs had taken control the empire would have seen some semblance of reason and been an effective peacekeeping force.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:43 No.9825523
    >>9825502

    Yes, yes, I do.

    1 to 1 ratio.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:43 No.9825538
    >>9825502
    Its quite reasonable to attack enemy territory. On the other hand, corvettes are made by corellians.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:44 No.9825557
    Why were those rebels fighting to restore the republic? The thing was a corrupt, beurocratic clusterfuck under the control of the major corporations. I mean the trade federation invades a planet and what did the senate do? Ask for a committee. And when all the corporations didn't get their way, how did they act? By dragging the galaxy to war. Fuck the republic. And fuck those Jedi as well. How many wars has the galaxy had to deal with over those fanatics having a disagreement with some sith assholes?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:45 No.9825565
    Sun Crusher.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:45 No.9825567
    >>9824964
    Death Star crew complement total: 1,179,293

    Alderaan population total: 1,097,000,000

    Fuck you, asshole.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:45 No.9825585
    I had just got my zero-G assault training and was en-route when it happened. Maybe I could have changed something. That what we were there for.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:45 No.9825587
    >>9825507
    You mean like Grand Moff Tarkin, the guy who invented the Death Star?

    He seems REAL STABLE. The only guy with the balls and gusto needed to hold the empire together with the Emperor dead was fucking Pellaeon, who is forever a badass.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:46 No.9825593
    >>9825567
    Nearly 1 imperial dead for every 1000 rebel traitors dead. Very nice.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:46 No.9825604
    >>9825485
    >I actually have a friend who claims to be a diehard Star Wars fan, yet has never seen the original version of 4, 5, and 6.
    a single tear rolls down my cheek
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:47 No.9825615
    >>9825502
    There were two billion people on the planet. Do you really think that all of them were involved with the rebellion? Or that all of those lives were worthless? The Death Star was a terrible idea and should never have been made. It was only one of many terrible things about the war that forced good people to kill each other.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:47 No.9825621
    >>9825557
    The New Republic was even worse. I was so happy when Thrawn came to power.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:47 No.9825624
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    I could really use a bounty hunter now
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:47 No.9825629
    >>9825587
    Guys, let's not get into this again.

    That's all they think of us, you know? These young mercenary hotshots. They just see old men squabbling about lost battles. By the Force, if they could have seen us in our prime...
    >> Qes !OZqrVI/9AU 05/15/10(Sat)00:48 No.9825638
    >>9825615
    Plus the taxes. How much money do think it took to make one of those things, much less two?

    How many programs got cut to fund that waste of space?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:48 No.9825639
    >>9825523
    >>9825538
    FUCK YOU, MAN!

    It's that kind of rebel sympathysing shit that keeps us from sending a goddamn World Devastator to Sullust right now and wiping out those rebel scum right fucking now.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:49 No.9825657
    Galaxy Gun
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:49 No.9825659
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    The only good thing about Alderaan being destroyed is that there was probably some Imperial troops there at the time.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:49 No.9825675
    I wish I could bring Vader back to life so that I could kill him again, slowly. And then again. He can never die too many times.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:50 No.9825690
    >>9825621
    And then some asshole kills him. The one chance to stabilize the galaxy and get things in order before those vong nutjobs arrive and someone kills him.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:50 No.9825696
    Never give up! I didn't cut and run like some of you spineless traitors, I joined up with the nearest Imperial remnant holding

    THE EMPIRE IS FOREVER
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:51 No.9825710
    >>9825675
    Don't talk that way about our commander! Vader might have been a little impersonal, but he was a great man! If he wasn't good enough to win the war, then nobody was!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:51 No.9825715
    Damnit! Vader was a damn war hero! He brought down the damn jedi those fanatics continuously brought the fucking galaxy into war.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:52 No.9825751
    >>9825621
    Every time I go to a bar where I know some former rebel terrorists hang out I always ask them how they like living in the new republic they helped create. Not a single one of them has ever said a thing back to me.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:53 No.9825766
    >>9825715
    >>9825710
    THEN HE BETRAYED THE EMPIRE AND ALL HE'D WORKED FOR FOR SOME WHINY SNOT-NOSED KID! I WISH I COULD KILL VADER A MILLION TIMES AS HORRIBLY AS POSSIBLE.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:53 No.9825779
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9824964/

    Archive'd
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:54 No.9825811
    >>9825766
    You weren't there! NOBODY WAS THERE! That's lies, damn it! Lies and slander! Those damn rebels weren't content with just beating us, they had to ruin our greatest hero too. Ignore the rebel propaganda! Remember Vader as he truly was!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:55 No.9825818
    >>9825389
    I mean, I'm as proud an imperial subject as anyone but...it's just too damn bad that Tarkin was on the thing when it blew, because he deserved to be court martialed an executed for the shit he pulled.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:55 No.9825823
    >>9825766
    That's a lie! Vader was seen being viciously killed by is supposed son by removing his rebreather! Who would do that! All these goddamn rebels are barbaric fuckers and need to die for what they've done to the Empire.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:55 No.9825836
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    >>9825766
    There's not a shred of evidence for that except the word of some Jedi Rebel Witchdoctor.

    By all accounts from the Imperial Guard, Vader defended the Emperor from a goddamn lightsaber assassination attempt mere minutes before the place went critical.

    He was goddamn hero, and I refuse to accept these lies that he was that Skywalker fuck's father.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:56 No.9825854
    >>9825502
    those are CORELLIAN corvettes, troll
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:57 No.9825872
    >>9825710
    Then why do Vader's subordinates tend to mysteriously disappear?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:57 No.9825878
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    >>9825615
    >>9825567
    >>9825565
    >>9825538
    >>9825523
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:58 No.9825886
    >>9825872
    All of those "mysterious disappearance" were actually documented Rebels. Each one was a traitor!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:58 No.9825892
    Someone post the Wall!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:58 No.9825894
    The Death Star was an inside job. I guess Vader just HAPPENED to be in his TIE at the time and the Emperor just HAPPENED to not be there. It was all a hoax to make the Rebels look bad.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:58 No.9825897
    >>9825872
    The man was intense, I'll give you that, but name one person more devoted to the Cause.

    I hear he personally executed dozens of Jedi Traitors in their filthy Temple.
    >> Jedi Asshole 05/15/10(Sat)00:59 No.9825903
    >>9825878

    DAMMIT I FORGOT TO NAMEFAG FOR THE 1 to 1 RATIO.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)00:59 No.9825905
    Non-roleplay post:

    Do we ever actually see any examples of the Empire oppressing people? I mean sure, Palpy says something like "I have abolished the Senate" but who gives a shit? Do you really think the occupants of the Empire's planets ever saw any benefit from the actions of their Senator? I KNOW they didn't in the Old Republic.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)00:59 No.9825920
    >>9825894

    LORD VADER WOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED IF NOT FOR THE SUPERIOR ARMOR OF HIS TIE FIGHTER. YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, SUKA!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:00 No.9825922
    >>9825905
    The Empire was the best thing to happen to the galaxy. Period.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:00 No.9825927
    >>9825905
    Go find anything involving the Noghri.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:00 No.9825936
    >>9825905
    The biggest stuff is the documented Humans First policy, not that that would bother your average /tg/ HUMANITY FUCK YEAH fag.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:01 No.9825947
    >>9825897
    Yeah? Well, I heard the Jedi were trained from childhood in their temple.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:01 No.9825948
    >>9825905
    The EU is ridden with the Empire oppressing people. That said, I agree that the Senate was probably fucking useless, but so is the one in the US. Heads would still roll if Obama somehow abolished the Senate.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:01 No.9825954
    >>9825927
    I have. If anything they seem to really like Vader at least.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:02 No.9825960
    >>9825947
    Man, I heard more than that. Those sick Jedi fucks deserved to die.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:02 No.9825965
    >>9825947
    So they brainwashed kids?

    Is that what you're saying?

    Sounds like that cult needed to be shut down. Fucking kidnappers.
    >> Fucking Liar 05/15/10(Sat)01:02 No.9825968
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    >>9825013

    >jeanseed

    don't you mean Geneseed :v
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:02 No.9825972
    >>9825894
    It's true. The ISB had the faulty exhaust port installed, then leaked the schematics to the rebels. It's all a conspiracy, man.

    Oops, shit, dropped my deathstick...
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:02 No.9825974
    >>9825905
    I'm actually trying to think of something but I'm drawing a blank. I know something from the expanded universe has an example.

    Though I'm certain that this entire post has made my argument look like a joke.

    But seriously how many wars has the galaxy had to deal with because of the sith and jedi? You'd think that sooner or later someone would get tired of being used as a pawn and start researching a way to kill off both for good.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:03 No.9825979
    I was on Dewback patrol on Tatooine at the time. X'hasa, my dewback, is dead now, but she got to kill a lot of Rebels. I made sure of it.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:03 No.9825984
    >>9825936
    I'll give you that, but Thrawn's very existence is testament to the fact that the Empire still had a measure of a meritocracy in place.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:04 No.9826014
    >>9825974
    The Conspiracy nuts would have you believe that the Emperor was a Sith Lord, but don't believe that shit. The Emperor converted the last Sith (Vader) to his cause and did his damnedest to exterminate all those Separatist Jedi.

    What a man.
    >> Jedi Asshole 05/15/10(Sat)01:05 No.9826029
    >>9826014

    pretty sure that people would know that the Emps was there as a Sithi Poo.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:05 No.9826030
    >>9825960
    >>9825965
    And where are these presumably brainwashed children now? While the Empire was around, only two Jedi were known to exist. One was already an old man, and the other wasn't even from the temple.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:05 No.9826034
    I was a Field Trooper back then. The one time my men needed me, I wasn't there. Stupid! Useless!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:06 No.9826041
    >>9825954
    Did you also read what the empire did to their people? And, more specifically, to their planet?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:06 No.9826042
    >>9826014
    Actually I was being serious in a non roleplay post. I really do wonder why people still put up with all the shit the Jedi and sith cause.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:06 No.9826048
    >>9825984
    Which is why Thrawn, having won his position, was sent off into the fucking distance where he wouldn't trouble proper, human Imperial Admirals.

    Fucking speciesists. I just wanted to serve my Empire, but you can't go anywhere as a Kel Dor in this galaxy unless you know somebody.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:06 No.9826052
    I told them to fix that god damn exhaust pipe... it cost the life of my brother..... God damn Rebel scum
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:07 No.9826066
    >>9826030
    Order 66. My father was one of the clone troopers there. It needed to be done and they should be commended for it.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:07 No.9826070
    Sith Lords?

    Those guys from the legends who sucked the life out of whole planets and ripped stars apart with only their minds?

    I'm pretty sure if the Emperor was one of those, that whole "Rebellion" thing would have ended differently.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:07 No.9826078
    >>9825974
    See that's the thing, even if you kill all of them off, force powers are a natural talent of almost all organisms in the Star Wars universe. It's like trying to kill off people who have a knack for planning military operations in our world. Might make wars less likely, but you can't get rid of an inborn talent.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:08 No.9826095
    >>9826048
    The New Empire accepted many aliens. What about that? And how about the damn T'Syriél?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:08 No.9826098
    >>9826029
    Actually, the established policy in EU is that Palps was only known as a Sith by the folks who were involved in his personal business...specifically, his Imperial Guard, Vader, and a few trusted advisors.

    A few Moffs had suspicions, but the Empire at large was completely unaware.

    The Rebellion, of course, was founded by a bunch of people who knew, so it was more well-understood there.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:09 No.9826102
    >>9826042

    The same reason why people put up with other religious nuts: they have the power.

    In Star Wars they have literal power.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:10 No.9826119
    >>9825502
    The ship was Corellian just so you know, hell most imperial senators were probably in better ships.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:10 No.9826128
    >>9826066
    You're the son of a clone?! They were even more of an abomination than the damned Jedi!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:10 No.9826135
    >>9826078
    Except that it's accepted to be a genetic trait.

    If you kill off all the Force-users in a couple of generations, you kill off the gene.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:11 No.9826148
    Listen guys, I love the Empire, and I'm grateful to the Emperor for getting rid of that shithole we called the Republic but let's not deny that the guy did approve of all those superweapons that proved to be a massive waste of everything. It would have been better if the Empire used all those resources and money for more productive purposes.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:11 No.9826153
    >>9826095
    The New Empire is awesome. Emperor Fel is a hero, and let's not even get into Admiral Pellaeon.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:12 No.9826165
    I was Vader's umpteenth secret apprentice, and yet another one who had the ability to outpace the Emperor in power. NOW I HAVE NOTHING. ONLY EXTREME UNTUTORED FORCE STRENGTH AND THIS RED LIGHTSABER THAT PEOPLE KEEP TRYING TO KILL ME FOR.

    What should I do with my life?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:12 No.9826172
    >>9826153
    And let's also not forget that those white lightsabers the Imperial Knights use are sexy as fuck.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:12 No.9826173
    I was just an ISB man.
    Kell...
    Kell brought his family to see the station he was working in. Oh Force, I was in the last escape pod when I saw them. That girl's crying face still haunts me.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:13 No.9826189
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    RRRRRGGGggGGHHRRrllll RRrrrRRRrrRRRRRRRRRRRRR rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRR!
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:14 No.9826202
    >>9826189
    OH SHIT HE'S GONE MAD! SOMEONE TASE HIM!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:14 No.9826203
    >>9826128
    And you call the Empire bigots.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:14 No.9826204
         File1273900477.jpg-(125 KB, 1280x800, Blast-Doors-star-wars-4354986-(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:14 No.9826211
    >>9826165
    lol, gotta love the Star Wars EU.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:15 No.9826224
    >>9825905
    These guys.
    >>9825240


    Ok Slavery for many non-vital non-human species.
    Lots of death camp type things too.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:15 No.9826225
         File1273900540.jpg-(57 KB, 750x600, Darth Vader died for your sins.jpg)
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    There is no greater sacrifice.

    Never forget.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:16 No.9826234
    >>9826211
    There's a difference between "The EU" and "The EU George Lucas approves of."
    >> Qes !OZqrVI/9AU 05/15/10(Sat)01:16 No.9826246
    >>9826189
    No, I dont think it's your smell. People ignore your posts out of ignorance. Post casually.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:17 No.9826261
         File1273900641.jpg-(31 KB, 398x460, darth-revan.jpg)
    31 KB
    ...
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:17 No.9826262
    >>9826189
    Don't make me drop another fucking moon on you.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:17 No.9826265
    >>9826234
    No, there is no difference. Both are complete shit with only a few good gems.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:17 No.9826271
    >>9826234
    Lucas is on record as saying that the EU is a parallel universe.

    In his mind, none of that is real. No Mandalorians, no Sith Empires, no Massasi temples or Noghri.

    Just what is specifically shown in the movies.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:17 No.9826275
    I was a jumptrooper on the Death Star. People were screaming for help, people that I knew, that I'd laughed with, drank with. And I just... I just frew away. Every day, that blaster pistol looks better and better. Better and better.
    Tell them I'm sorry. Tell them I wish I could take it back.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:18 No.9826284
         File1273900696.gif-(49 B, 1x1, imp.gif)
    49 B
    a..aliens? in my empire?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:19 No.9826297
    I was a janitor on the Death Star. Those plans? That Bothan? I don't regret it. He gave me a good price.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:19 No.9826298
    >>9826271
    Lucas is also on record for saying "Midi-Chlorians." He lost all cred after that.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:19 No.9826301
    >>9826271
    Also known as "Shit" or "Movies he was unhappy with because they were turned around by way better writers."
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:20 No.9826322
    >>9826298
    >>9826301
    I'm just saying, man.

    The entire thing is his property, legally speaking.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:21 No.9826337
    >>9826322
    Legally speaking, the moon belongs to the united nations. Are we going to let those fucks have all that delicious helium-3?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:21 No.9826342
    >>9826297
    I will find you and end you. That is my vow. I was a commando in the 808th and you are a dead man.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:21 No.9826351
    >>9826165
    Wait. So not only did I LOSE EVERYTHING, but I never really existed?

    Well shit. I'm going to go throw some star destroyers at kindergarteners then.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:22 No.9826360
    The only thing the Imperials did that ticked off a few people was, A.) Exist, B.) Made Humanity #1

    Crime was down, murder was down, if you weren't a Jedi scum or harboring Jedi scum chances are most imperials would be nice to you. The Emperor wasn't racist, if he was he'd wouldn't allow the numerous aliens, droids...etc. working for him as Moffs or other officials.

    Rebel alliance just wanted to go back to smuggling drugs, and getting away with anything and everything because the Republic was just as corrupt. Damn hippies.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:22 No.9826369
    >>9826322
    We need to get somebody made a judge just so they can deny his IP next time someone has it brought to court.

    Or better yet have them thrown in for rape.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:23 No.9826377
    >>9826297
    ...

    ...


    GET HIM!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:23 No.9826385
    >>9826360
    Emps was racist and sexist. If you had the balls you could advance, but it was an utter bastard. Other than that, it was more the constant oppression. But yes, crime and stuff was down.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:23 No.9826389
    >>9826360
    Don't forget
    C.) Build and employ weapons of mass destruction on a planetary scale, designed by a race they subjugated and brainwashed [Poor Omwati]
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:24 No.9826396
    >>9826360
    So what you're saying is, Palpatine really DID make the trains run on time.

    The space trains.

    Do those exist? They should.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:24 No.9826411
    >>9826360
    Exept for the Corps that either got nationalized over nothing or had the Imps kill off natives so they could take whatever they wanted from the wreckage, and it was pretty much completely at random.
    >> Bevelle Lamelisk 05/15/10(Sat)01:24 No.9826416
    >>9826389
    Ahem.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:25 No.9826422
    >>9826396
    The Serin shuttle service.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:25 No.9826424
    >>9826396

    Go and read Peter F Hamilton's "Pandora's Star" and "Judas Unchained". It's a two book series about a commonwealth where most transport (prior to events of the book that force them to develop spaceflight) is trains running through wormholes between worlds. Choochoo.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:27 No.9826455
    >>9826422
    Man, did you used to play Star Wars muds too? I forget the name run by.. Trelar, I think it was? And the one prior that. Those were awesome. I played a Sith a few times. MAIM BURN KILL SLA- what? I'm roleplaying. Being a teenager was cool.

    Wait, this explains so much.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:27 No.9826456
    That's awesome. I am in favor of space-based public transportation.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:28 No.9826474
    Fucking Hoth Man,

    Shits Cold as fuck and will freeze your balls together, but you know what. Luckiest Posting in my carrier.

    Hoth Survival Rate; 76%
    Deathstar Survival Rate 0%

    They tell us, their fighting for a nobel cause, but really its one master or another. Jedi , Sith, they make out their enemies, but its an Old Boy's Club and no Regular people are invited.

    Don't tell me that a king or an aristocrat senator is some magical improvement over emperor. The World's going to shit and at least palpatine had the balls to try to fix something rather than watching it swirl around the hole.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:28 No.9826489
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    >>9826360
    ohacro waoowoc wohoworcrooowhwo wwoorcrrwoao aoacwo churhshhurrraaoahoowh ooww aoacwo ohooooorahwoc rawhwa scoowh oaraanrascrarcahc?! ah ohahanan oaooscwo oohoworc aoacworcwo rarcwo rcahak oowwww rooohurc rarcscc!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:29 No.9826506
    >>9826455
    Good times.

    I was the head of the Rebel Alliance and then the Kuat Drive Yards for a while.

    Until some asshat started saying KDY should secede from the Empire, and the Empire killed me just in case. Fuck that guy.

    Also:
    Play as slicer.
    trollface.jpg
    Slicebank.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:31 No.9826535
    >>9826416
    Go eat a bag of dicks...WHILE BEING EATEN BY A ROOM FULL OF BEEEEEEES!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:31 No.9826549
         File1273901498.jpg-(45 KB, 204x231, C3P0.jpg)
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    >>9826489
    What my furry friend here said is:

    "Why does everyone forget the subjugation of the Wookies and Mon Calamari?! I will come over there are rip off your arms!"

    Oh, my!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:32 No.9826567
    >>9826489
    Look we told you already George doesn't like it when Chewie goes off to visit relatives.
    >> Bevelle Lamelisk 05/15/10(Sat)01:32 No.9826579
    >>9826535
    This guy isn't the first. You wouldn't believe the shit I get for what amounts to being a good engineer.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:33 No.9826587
    >>9826549
    See, that's exactly the kind of thing a Primitive would say.

    Those savages can't even SPEAK Imperial Basic!

    Fucking eight-foot-tall monsters. Why should we let them into our society?

    As for those Catfish, I've got a Quarren friend who tells me they don't even cook their food.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:33 No.9826604
    >>9826587
    Neither do the humans from Tokyon 9.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:33 No.9826609
    >>9826579
    Who STILL needs to steal ideas from children.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:34 No.9826621
    >>9826389
    Alderaan was a criminal world, it was home to the criminal Bail Organa and the rest the Organa clan. They were all rebel sympathizers.
    >> Bevelle Lamelisk 05/15/10(Sat)01:35 No.9826629
    >>9826609
    They also say shit like this. Seriously, what?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:36 No.9826654
    >>9826271

    Fuck off Darkstar
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:38 No.9826689
    >>9826654
    ?

    I'm just saying, this is what George Lucas says. Personally, I think it'd be awesome to do a cold boot of the whole EU. Start over from scratch, and do things differently (for example, have Leia actually realize her Force potential after Endor, like Luke said she would. She's supposed to be as strong as he is, and he promised to train her!).

    I think it has the potential to be awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:38 No.9826707
    >>9826549
    I'll admit, that was pretty bad, but the Emperor himself didn't have any hand in it. Neither he nor Vader were speciesists--the Emperor chose a nohuman as one of his Grand Admirals, for crying out loud, and Vader was famous for his relations with primitive cultures like the Noghri, no matter how new Rebel propaganda has twisted their relationship.

    Thrawn wasn't posted to the Far Reaches to keep him out of sight. He was BORN in the Far Reaches; it was the best place for him to defend. Especially since that was the best place for him to build up in preparation for the Vong.

    I'll be if the Emperor hadn't been so distracted by the insurgency, he would have had the slavery problem dealt with in days. Tarkin was the slaver; the Emperor wasn't.

    This is what makes Akbar so tragic. He turned from an honest, loyal soldier with potential into the lynchpin of Rebel tactics, and all because Tarkin took him as a slave, rather than an assistant. If Tarkin had taken him on as as assistant, instead of being a racist fucktard--or if he'd had the chance to attend Officer Academy he deserved--things could have been way different. He might have been a second Thrawn.

    Instead, he became a monster.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:41 No.9826766
    >>9826360

    Humans are only one race in a big, big, big galaxy, a race with no special built-in evolutionary advantages like night vision or claws or whatnot.

    Just imagine if, say, the inhabitants of some random South Pacific island bullshitted their way into the Presidency, all positions of power in the U.S. military, Congress was abolished, and when the people of Manhattan staged a peaceful protest, the city was nuked into radioactive glass.

    Damn those South Pacifickers. Damn their eyes.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:41 No.9826770
    Personally I think Star Wars is at its best if you only consider the very first film canon.
    >> Bevelle Lamelisk 05/15/10(Sat)01:41 No.9826775
    >>9826609
    Oh wait, I get it now. This is about that Gooey-zux girl who whoever she was, right?

    Look, let's just get this straight. I don't know her. I never MET her. I'm an engineer, not a scientist. I don't HAVE "Ideas". They tell me "Tell us how we can build this" and I fucking do it, ok? Stop acting like I'm something I'm not. The Theory isn't my JOB.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:42 No.9826779
    >>9826689
    She willfully avoids it, she partially rejects the force and this is why she is weak in it, I think it fits the character.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:43 No.9826801
    I think we're all missing the point: by all accounts, until his "Master" came out of the woodwork, Skywalker was on the fast-track to joining the Imperial Academy.

    This man only joined the Rebellion because a crazy mind-controlling old man promised him riches and pussy.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:43 No.9826804
    >>9826707
    I know. Everyone always forgets the T'Syriél stormtroopers, who were very effective.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:44 No.9826815
    >>9826775
    Sucks you had to work for the Hutts afterward. They've got a pretty terrible reputation.

    You should have dropped the oversized "Death Star" thing, and shifted focus towards smaller, lower-power superlasers for capital ship combat.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:44 No.9826817
    >>9826801
    The sick thing is, he totally got it.

    I mean, have you SEEN Mara Jade? Mroww.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:44 No.9826819
    >>9826801
    He even said he didn't like the empire, it was just a way off that rock. Several of his friends who had passed through there turned traitor anyway.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:44 No.9826825
    >>9826801
    Shit, you hand me magic powers and a laser sword and I'll go overturn the government too.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:44 No.9826830
    >>9826801
    He was a whiny little bitch, anyways. At least the old man's dead.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:45 No.9826836
    >>9826770

    No.

    Star Wars sucks, except for the first film, from 1:12:18 to 1:12:25. Everything else is dead to me forever. Non-canon.

    Damn that Lucas fellow anyway for producing such shit every time he tries to do anything ever (except those 7 seconds, those were okay).
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:45 No.9826841
    >>9826779
    So did Luke.

    I think any reasonable sovereign, upon being told by somebody she's personally witnessed performing miracles that she could do these same miracles, would submit to training.

    If she was even half the woman she claimed to be (and looking at her family, it makes more sense for her to be that devoted than some farmer from buttfuck nowhere), she'd have taken Luke up on the training.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 05/15/10(Sat)01:45 No.9826845
    >>9826817

    She's dead, Jim.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:46 No.9826862
    >>9826801
    Don't you mean A SEPARATIST AND TRAITOR.

    Vader confirmed it himself. My uncle told me--he was on the command board for the engineering staff, and heard from Vader that said old man was Obiwan Kenobi.

    Traitorous bastard. I dunno how the Separatists got to him, but they sure got him good.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:46 No.9826870
    >>9826804
    They were grunts, the equivalent of Ogryn and the species they were recruited them hated the.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:47 No.9826882
    >>9826845
    Big deal. He had unrestricted access to that ass for YEARS.

    Do you know what I'd do for that?


    Anything short of betraying the Empire. Because I'm not some sickfuck traitor.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:47 No.9826890
    >>9826819
    Psh.

    Watch the movie again. He's extra excited.

    And his friends only turned traitor because somebody blew up Wedge's family...before the movie...which didn't deter him from wanting to join the Empire.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:47 No.9826891
    >>9826817
    The Emperor likely tapped that. Just saying.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:48 No.9826902
    >>9826882
    She only fell for him because of Stockholm Syndrome, anyway. Asshole killed the Emperor. Her boss, and father figure.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:48 No.9826906
    Considering how many "traitors" there are around, perhaps the Empire deserved something of what it got?
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:48 No.9826919
    >>9826891
    It's good to be the King.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:49 No.9826922
    Trioculous here. Thrawn's a pussy.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:49 No.9826926
    >>9826891
    Jabba would've if he could've.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:50 No.9826946
    >>9826906
    "If one man considers the rest of the universe traitors, doesn't that make him wrong?"

    True, except for when the man is the EMPEROR!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:50 No.9826947
    >>9826890
    He met wedge on Yavin it was the Darklighters who were the ones I referred too.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:50 No.9826948
    Hutts have this horrible reputation

    but really, I'd rather work for them than most others.

    Sure their gonna try to weasle you, and if you cross them their gonna kill you, but thats just the name of the game.

    Hutts pay, and that's more than you can say for a bothan or rodian or most other miserable alien trash in the universe.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:51 No.9826961
    >>9826891
    I think she was established as the only one he DIDN'T tap.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:52 No.9826981
    >>9826948
    How are you still alive, Fett?!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:52 No.9826989
    >>9826961
    Pssh, bullshit. You're telling me that all those years, he didn't hit it, even once? Sure, sure.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:52 No.9826990
    Why on earth was Jabba attracted to Leia anyway?

    Hutts are hermaphrodites who reproduce like earthworms.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:53 No.9826993
    >>9826947
    Except that even on film, he greets Wedge as an old friend.

    The others, his buddies (the "friends have gone" Aunt Beru talked about) all joined when the Empire killed Wedge's folks.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:53 No.9826997
    >>9826981
    'Cause my backpack's got jets.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:53 No.9827001
    >>9826981
    You see, the Sarlacc isn't so much a monster as a really long, low-budget amusement park.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:53 No.9827002
    >>9826981
    Fett tricked the Sarlacc to squeeze his jetpack which activated it allowing him to escape.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:53 No.9827003
    >>9826990
    Hutts are sick fucks, especially Jabba. Man, the stories I could tell you.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:54 No.9827013
    >>9826997
    Yeah really, I mean... that thing can't even close it's mouth. I'm amazed they don't use it as a waste dump.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:54 No.9827018
    >>9826990
    >Why was a powerhungry gangster sexually excited over holding a princess from a doomed planet, perhaps the last of her kind, captive in his collection?

    Really?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:54 No.9827022
    >>9826990
    Not even enormous earthworms can resist 80s Carrie Fisher.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:54 No.9827023
    >>9826990
    >>9827003
    You sure its that, and not just an attempt to dehumanize and humiliate her? The guy was pretty pissed.

    Plus, it was entertainment for the rest of the staff.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)01:55 No.9827034
    >>9827018
    There are tons of humans man.

    And how exactly is Leia a princess? She has no royal ancestry, adopted or otherwise.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:55 No.9827035
    >>9827023
    He really seemed to enjoy it. That, and what he did to Solo.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:55 No.9827048
    >>9827034
    She was a dictator on oh-so-peaceful Alderaan.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:56 No.9827058
    >>9826993
    I think that you are confusing wedge with Biggs,
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:58 No.9827092
    >>9825947

    I can't take him, he's jedi.

    They train from child.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:58 No.9827097
    >>9827034
    Bail Organa was technically part of the Alderaanian royal family. Unfortunately for him, the Alderaanian royal family had been essentially kicked-out-of-the-government centuries ago.

    >>9827035
    I never really got that. I understand that gangsters tend to be upset when people betray them, and Solo was a little huffy when the two last met, but before that, he was a pretty good resource. And he had a pretty good reason for dumbing cargo at the time.

    He really just needed to pay Jabba back for it.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:58 No.9827098
    >>9827058
    >Gus Treta station never existed

    Heh.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:59 No.9827114
    That's why I prefer the Sith. When the Jedi were in power, what did they accomplish? Also, you know, aesthetics. I heard from a friend of a friend of a friend that one time, he [MESSAGE REDACTED FOR THE GOOD OF THE FEL EMPIRE]
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)01:59 No.9827117
    >>9827022

    He wanted to shove his tongue in her ass, I think that's fairly obvious.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:04 No.9827195
    >>9827035
    >>9827023
    >>9827022
    >>9826990
    He was all turned on by having the Last Alderaanian in his collection, having a Princess in his collection, and having a Rebel Asset in his collection.

    All three in one person?

    That's like having an Adventure Comics #1 in mint condition (none of these are known to exist) that's in a plastic case, which is duct-taped to a similarly vacuum-sealed original copy of the Magna Carta (I think 9 of these are known to exist), which is similarly duct-taped to another vacuum-sealed original copy of the Declaration of Independence (I think we've got 1 of these left).
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:08 No.9827260
    >>9827195
    Nice analogy there.
    >> Moap 05/15/10(Sat)02:09 No.9827271
    I remember when I first heard about the Death Star, officer training. I lurched out and chocked the rebel prisoner.... four rooms away.

    Vader took me into his secret adept training after that, And when we lost the war, I was told to adapt to that bastard Luke's ways. And it's true.

    It's a cult, no free though, no anything, I was told to have no desires, no needs. Who can lvie lik that, save a secret army? I hated them, so I left. To this day after all thats happened I still laugh at them, brainwashed the way they are, and wonder what good I could have done serving the emperor.

    The Vong had the right plan, Ill tell you that.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:10 No.9827290
    >>9827260
    Well, those are 3 rare-ass things on ONE planet.

    Leia was 3 rare-ass things in an entire fucking galaxy.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:12 No.9827310
    >>9825974
    I hear legends that some old crone tried to destroy "the Force" once, but some laser-sword wielding punk, /as always/, came by and fucked that all to hell.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:13 No.9827333
    >>9827310
    That is an admirable goal. More people should follow in his footsteps.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:15 No.9827366
    >>9827271
    Everyone misses the Empire. The entire Rebellion was a big scheme to get Princess Cunt her crown back.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:16 No.9827381
    Ah, one more bad thing about the Empire: No HoloNet. Fuckers kept it for themselves.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:16 No.9827382
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    Best thread on /tg/ right now.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:17 No.9827393
    >>9827381
    In a time of war, some sacrifices have to be made.

    Trust me, I was in the Service. We weren't exactly watching Jawa Eye for the Tall Guy.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:18 No.9827409
    >>9827381
    Yeah they only let systems tap in to update planetary networks once every 30 standard days.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:18 No.9827417
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    25 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:19 No.9827421
    >>9827381
    The Republic fucking tracked it. The HoloNet would have been brought back if, you know, we weren't fighting Rebels.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:23 No.9827477
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    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:26 No.9827518
    >>9827477
    Endor! Oh shit, I can see them! Stay back, stay back! They're killing everyone oh force help me I'm going to die oh force oh force oh force
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:27 No.9827531
    >>9827518
    Do not cry out to that Jedi superstition!

    Jedi myths can't save you!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:27 No.9827542
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    >>9824964

    Lord Vader created a memorial from his own pay.

    That's why he lived in that fucking iso-chamber for so long. He truly cared about each and every one of his troopers.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:28 No.9827565
         File1273904939.jpg-(365 KB, 1600x1200, ship_10_1600x1200.jpg)
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    >>9827518
    WE'RE SOLVING THIS PROBLEM THE NAVY WAY
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:29 No.9827572
    >>9827531
    You're with them, aren't you? Shitshitshit I swear I'll shoot stop screaming stop
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:29 No.9827574
    >>9825779
    Reminder:

    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9824964/

    Vote: The Empire demands it!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:30 No.9827590
    >>9826961

    Does that mean that Big Dark E pegged Vader?

    You are now imagining Ian McDiarmid and James Earl Jones fucking.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:31 No.9827595
    >>9827572
    GET IT TOGETHER, MAN!

    Would Lord Vader put up with this kind of sniveling?

    I hear he cut off his own son's HAND for the glory of the Empire! What the HELL do YOU have on that?!
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 05/15/10(Sat)02:31 No.9827599
    Those rebels are crazy. Why don't they just go with the system.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:31 No.9827608
         File1273905113.jpg-(127 KB, 500x500, 2654062628_7a0484ce85.jpg)
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    >>9827590
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:32 No.9827611
    ;_;

    .......my dad's name is on that wall.

    So is my brother's.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:32 No.9827619
    >>9827574
    Careful it isn't up to date.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:33 No.9827621
    >>9827565
    Stormtroopers do the dyin'. Navy just does the flyin'.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:33 No.9827632
    >>9827611
    You come from a family of Imperial Heroes.

    Honor them.

    Don't disgrace their names by submitting to Rebel Propaganda or Jedi Superstition. Stand firm with them.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:34 No.9827635
    >>9827595
    What? Why am I holding my old rifle? What's going on? Who's this little girl?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:34 No.9827641
    >>9827611
    My wife has her name on that wall. First in her class on the fast track officer programme.

    ...Oh it hurts so much...
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:34 No.9827642
    >>9827619
    Is there a way to make it update?
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)02:34 No.9827645
    >>9827621
    Where's that image of the various branches of the armed forces talking about how they feel about things sucking?
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 05/15/10(Sat)02:34 No.9827649
    >>9827565
    Wouldn't that destroy the Generator?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:35 No.9827657
         File1273905323.jpg-(108 KB, 600x546, 1262204657230.jpg)
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    >>9827621

    I'm doing my part!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:36 No.9827676
    >>9827619
    How do you update it?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:37 No.9827680
    >>9827657
    http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/empire_one/

    I'm here to help.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:37 No.9827682
    >>9827676
    It updates automatically every hour.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:39 No.9827708
    >>9827682
    And is large enough that in the next three weeks, it's going to collapse and form a singularity.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:40 No.9827712
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    liquor kills the pain
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:40 No.9827719
    >>9827682
    >currently has fewer votes than "gritty magic girls" and every single Frost Giantess thread.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:42 No.9827746
    >>9827680
    I remember those old commercials. Me and NT-28493 would laugh and laugh when they came on. I'm so sorry, 28493. I had no choice. I couldn't save you, you were too badly burned.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:43 No.9827762
    >>9827682
    It hasn't updated.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:44 No.9827781
    >>9827641

    I know man. After my father and brother died I signed up. Now I fly an interceptor.

    We all need to do our part in memory of the fallen and in service to the galaxy.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:45 No.9827796
    >>9827762
    Ever archived before? No? Be quiet.

    If you want to force it to update you can re-archive it, but it does indeed automatically update by the hour.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:47 No.9827825
    >>9827796
    Hey, he's just asking a question.

    Let's be civilized. We're not Wookiees or anything.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:48 No.9827836
    >248 posts and 26 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

    I love you, /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:49 No.9827853
    >>9827836
    I am so proud to have started the thread.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:50 No.9827873
    >>9827853
    I LOVE YOU, ANON!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:50 No.9827875
    I didn't know so many were on /tg/. Thanks, guys. You've really helped me. If I can ever eat solid food again, I'll buy you a beer.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:56 No.9827950
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    I was assigned at Junction CXV-89672. The commsystem told us that there was a prisoner escape, so we grabbed our blasters.

    What were the chances of them coming through there?

    The bastard shot CF-54871. Shot him right in the chest.

    I'll never forget his scream. That horrible, horrible scream.

    Now I seem to hear it everywhere: Kill Bill. Pirates of the Caribbean. Lost. A Goofy Movie.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)02:57 No.9827970
    >>9827950
    >CF-54871

    Fuck, I knew that guy.

    We used to call him Wilhelm. Some kind of family name or something.

    He was on the fucking Death Star?

    I...I had no idea.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:01 No.9828023
    >>9825034

    /thread
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:06 No.9828089
    >>9828023
    I feel a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I believe something awesome has happened.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:07 No.9828095
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    >>9828023
    Fuck that guy. BAWWW, my rebel-sympathizing hippie world got destroyed because we were harboring thousands of goddamn traitors!
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:08 No.9828107
    About trying to end all the Jedi vs Sith bullshit: Jacen Solo basically tried that, and look where it got him....
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:12 No.9828172
    >>9828107

    So fucking what? Are we supposed to check every planet for Jedi and sith artifacts to make sure none of them survive to inspire people?

    Every time they resurface they build a bunch of fancy Laser swords and some holocrons and get them scattered around. Every time someone finds an artifact they resurface. You'd need to completely destroy several inhabited worlds, and root through every world with any sort of history to find every single sith Dagger or something.
    >> Moap 05/15/10(Sat)03:13 No.9828184
    >>9828172
    Maybe its already happened.
    Maybe they were... successful
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:16 No.9828211
    >>9828184
    ... fuck man. It does say "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away."

    Fuck ...
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:17 No.9828227
    >>9828172
    Exactly. We can't expect to win a straight-up, balls-out war of extermination.

    We have to win the hearts and minds of the Empire, and convince them that the galaxy is better off without sad devotion to ancient religions. We need to show them we can build a better universe without hokey religions or ancient weapons.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:18 No.9828250
    >>9828227
    Really? That's not hard. Just remind everyone of all the problems the jedi caused.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:21 No.9828278
    >>9828250
    I hear the Trade Federation fiasco only turned violent after the Jedi showed up.
    >> Moap 05/15/10(Sat)03:21 No.9828280
    >>9828211
    Think about it man, fucking think about it
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:21 No.9828281
    >>9828250

    Well there were all those children taken from their homes to be trained to enforce the governments will. Don't talk about parents consent because one incident from HoloNet News shows the Jedi don't give a damn about that. It's the whole reason the Zesion Sha have refused to join the Jedi multiple times.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:23 No.9828297
    >>9828250
    Let's not forget our historical vids.

    The Jedi left the Republic high and dry during the Mandalorian Wars 4,000 years ago.
    >> teka 05/15/10(Sat)03:26 No.9828335
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    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:26 No.9828346
    Or that the Jedi didn't really seem committed to the whole "freedom of sentients" thing. They didn't follow up on the Gungans. They did kind of practice slavery and enslave a whole species to manual labor, treating them as animals.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:29 No.9828385
    >>9828297
    And let's not also forget that all of the Jedi that did want to do something were forbidden from helping. What the fuck happened to all that talk about helping people? Fuck the jedi. Seriously. Fuck them. I'm a historian and I'm not kidding or exaggerating when I say that every major conflict that this galaxy has had to deal with was because of some jedi that went nuts because his/her master couldn't teach them how to properly control themselves.

    Now we can't exterminate them. But can we make some device that makes them powerless?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:29 No.9828396
    >>9824964
    I never wanted to join the Empire, but I'll never forgive those Rebel bastards for what they did.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)03:31 No.9828411
    >>9828385
    Ysalamiri. Study them.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:32 No.9828431
    >>9828411
    Really? I know some people who would love to know about this thing.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)03:34 No.9828459
    >>9828431
    It's like a sloth but even lazier. Projects a bubble where force effects cannot exist.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)03:37 No.9828493
    More people unironically support the empire in this thread than you think gentle lurker.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:01 No.9828821
    >>9826948
    The Chiss would make great business partners, unfortunalty they're also heavily lacking in humility.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:03 No.9828850
    to all you Imperial Fags:

    HAHA, YOU LOST TO A BUNCH OF TEDDY BEARS
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:12 No.9828935
    >>9828850
    >>HAHA, YOU LOST TO A BUNCH OF TEDDY BEARS

    Oh gee, Rebel Propaganda. So believable.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:12 No.9828939
    >>9828850
    HAHA Rebels, you drafted a bunch of tribalist teddy bears to fight your battles for you.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:17 No.9828983
    I honestly can't wait for Lucas to die or allow for more freedom regarding his setting. That way maybe the view that the Jedi are a bunch of pretentious, stuck up, assholes like the one taken in KOTOR 2 will become more mainstream. I mean when you look at the setting you realize that this is basically what they are.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:21 No.9829028
    The problem I have with KOTOR is that it wanks the gray jedi shit pretty hard. LOOK HOW EDGY OUR ANTIHEROES ARE. Not everything has to be all morally gray all the time you know. There's nothing wrong with the default heroic fantasy, black and white view portrayed in the original trilogy.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:23 No.9829041
    Wait are there really people unironically supporting the empire?

    Jesus Christ you fucking nerds they were space nazi's. Genocide was a matter of policy. Not attempted genocide, but literally wiping out entire species.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:24 No.9829050
    >>9828983
    explain how this wasn't the case in the prequels

    Literally everything that happened was only because the jedi were inflexible pricks. They were even told what was happening by Dooku.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:24 No.9829055
    >>9829041
    This is a board the constantly has HUMANITY, FUCK YEAH threads. This shouldn't be a surprise.

    Personally I just hate the jedi.
    >> Alpharius 05/15/10(Sat)04:24 No.9829056
    >>9828850
    Hey man, I lost my brother at the Battle of Endor.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:25 No.9829060
    >>9829041
    Nazis tried to wipe out human races, the Empire was HUMANITY FUCK YEAR. Nothing wrong with eliminating alien threats, especially considering Palpatine campaigned on fearmongering about invasion from extragalactic aliens, which turned out to be true.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:25 No.9829064
    >>9829028
    The only gray Jedi that gets any credence at all in those games is Jolee, and he's only gray in relation to crazy-puritan-strawman Bastila.

    The other gray Jedi is Kreia, who ends up being the big bad who tried to murder the Force.

    You're not even allowed to go gray in the first one. You HAVE to choose good or evil.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:26 No.9829068
    >>9829055
    I know but I constantly hope that it's people being silly, not the many proto-fascists that unironically think that judge dredd is a good guy, or that the 40k imperium is anything but the most severe distopia possible.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:26 No.9829070
    >>9829041
    >unironically
    because you totally have the ability, with your magic internet senses, to tell if we're fucking around or not
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:27 No.9829076
    >>9829070
    Maybe that's why the anon posed it as a question.
    u mad?
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:28 No.9829090
    >>9829050
    The movies portrayed them in a positive light despite this. My main problem with the jedi is that they are always portrayed in a positive light no matter what. One thing I liked about KOTOR 2 so much was that it basically said "You know, you guys aren't all perfect, and maybe you should start taking some responsibility for so many of your members turning into nutcases." Hell the game practically said that the jedi's philosophy was partially responsible.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:28 No.9829094
    >>9829060
    Yes there is you fucking freak.
    If sapience/sentience was discovered in other beings the concept of 'humanity' and all the innate rights and social mores we have have would be applicable.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:29 No.9829104
    >>9829064
    Eh. I suppose I mean the focus on grey morality in general. I'm so tired of the I AM EVIL BUT ONLY SO TO OUT-EVIL AN EVILER EVIL shit. Original star wars was a heroic fantasy setting with GOOD GUYS and BAD GUYS, and as I'm a change fearing neckbeard, deviations from that philosophy irritate me.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:30 No.9829120
    >>9829050
    I once more propose that Mace Windu fell to the Dark Side.

    He proposed that the Jedi take control of the entire Republic, then (on evidence from somebody he outright said he didn't trust) he tried to overthrow the government. When the Supreme Chancellor was unarmed on his back against a windowframe, with a Jedi next to him explaining that the Code specifically forbade murdering unarmed prisoners, he tried to strike the prisoner down (whether he was right in thinking the prisoner was still a threat or not, he HAD NO EVIDENCE).
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:30 No.9829124
    >>9829060
    I think it's mostly due to how the republic and jedi were portrayed in the prequels. In the original trilogy we here told about how great, democratic, and wonder the Jedi and Republic were. Then we got to actually see them and both are far from it.
    >> 40Kfag from /m/ !!t8iiyj3DIqR 05/15/10(Sat)04:31 No.9829128
    >>9829120

    Mace Windu did fall to the Dark Side. Of Coruscant's pavement.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:32 No.9829141
    >>9829104
    In the first game, the gray morality was actually really Good, just gray in comparison, again, with the strawman Bastila, who was ULTIMATE LG PALADIN.

    In the second game, being a gray Jedi was a trick to get you to murder the Force and become a Sith.

    That's...not really supportive...
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:33 No.9829147
    >>9829094
    historically humanity has trouble applying equal rights and stuff to others based on matters of skin colors, genitalia, and what gender we wish to fuck. Do you really think that we'd straight up be buddy buddy with an alien race, with a likely inhuman culture?

    Unless by social mores you meant discrimination and racism (prominent social forces, both historically and today). Then yeah, they'd likely be applied.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:33 No.9829148
    >>9829120

    He was also prone to fits of rage. If he didn't fall, he at least walked right up to the line and spat over it.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:35 No.9829181
    >>9829124
    >The original trilogy was NOSTALGIA GOGGLES for the Old Republic.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:43 No.9829278
    >>9829120
    He was more "grey" than dark. He saw that the senate was under Palpatine's control, and that to deal with the threat he had to kill him. It was war, and when it came to the Jedi's most hated enemy, arresting him wasn't an option. Better cut off the head of the snake, before it bites you.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)04:44 No.9829288
    >>9828107

    Yeah. He tried to become a Sith to save the galaxy. Look where that got him. He fell to the dark side, went nuts, killed his aunt (seriously, his uncle is the most powerful Force user who ever lived or will live throughout history, and he thought killing that man's wife was a GOOD IDEA?!), became almost universally reviled, and on top of that lost everything (the love of his life, his daughter, the respect he had for past actions, his sanity...).
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)05:03 No.9829465
    >>9829278
    >Not a Dark Jedi
    >The entire Order 66 justification was that the Jedi were going to overthrow the government and run it themselves
    >Mace Windu suggested that they Jedi kill the Supreme Chancellor, overthrow the government, and run it themselves
    >Mace Windu was the personification of Sidious' rhetoric against the Jedi

    Yeah...So...
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)05:11 No.9829538
    >>9829465
    The Jedi and the Rebellion upset the balance of power in the galaxy opening the door for external threats to multiply.

    The Empire had it been allowed to remain, would have repulsed the advances of the Vong far less painfully than the New Republic.

    ITT; Jedi Impatience doomed the galaxy. Not just in the Vong wa,r but the civil war that errupted later as a result of Jacen Solo's corruption during his captivity with the Vong.
    >> Anonymous 05/15/10(Sat)05:53 No.9829876
    So, this thread.

    Best Star Wars thread, or Worst Star Wars thread?



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