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  • File : 1294034500.jpg-(48 KB, 485x728, Acid.jpg)
    48 KB Seemingly useless magical items Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:01 No.13380360  
    A small figurine of a troll which imbues its owner with mischievous impulses.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:02 No.13380370
    A pair of socks that dry quickly and always smell nice. They also glow faintly when spiders are nearby.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:03 No.13380380
    A piece of cloth that can grow to the size of half a football field or shrink down to the size of a penny. It can also change colors and (simple) patterns, but can't usually be used as camouflage. It's magical, but still only as durable as normal cloth.
    >> LaBambaMan 01/03/11(Mon)01:03 No.13380389
    Best item EVER!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:03 No.13380391
    A wallet which, when opened, spawns 1d8 moths. Any money placed in the wallet disappears as soon as the wallet is closed, and the moths will ravenously eat any nearby clothing that isn't being worn.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:04 No.13380396
    A staff charged with the Random Spell Generator.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:05 No.13380404
    A pastry shaped like a small turtle that regrows overnight to full size so long as you don't eat the head, and you store what's left in your satchel for a full eight hours without opening it again. It's not enough to stand as a meal but it's enough to remind you what food tastes like. Also it has little eyes on it that look at you innocently even as you eat it.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:06 No.13380412
         File1294034779.gif-(1.64 MB, 304x268, ABANDONTHREAD.gif)
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    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:06 No.13380413
    A wooden pole which, when the tip is placed on the ground, will always perfectly balance and remain upright until physically pushed over.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:07 No.13380417
    A small pin that people will find difficult to not look at.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:07 No.13380419
    An Egg that, if willed by the owner, speaks in a gravely and deep voice, narrating the past 5 minutes of events in a film-noir "hardboiled" detective monologue.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:08 No.13380430
    What happens if you rip it in half?

    What if you open and close it over and over repeatedly?
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:08 No.13380431
    A seed that, when planted, grows into a corpse.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:09 No.13380457
    Then you suddenly have a shitton of moths.

    A glove that makes the character’s left hand invisible to bumblebees.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:12 No.13380497
    A pendant of stealth which gives a +5 to all hide checks, then flashes brightly and plays an uplifting "success" chime when the wearer successfully passes undetected.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:14 No.13380514
    A small metal cage containing a floating eye. It constantly stares at the most evil person it can see.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:14 No.13380516
    ...I love you
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:14 No.13380520
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:16 No.13380541
    A talking turtle that tells you exactly what you should have done five minutes after you've done it.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:16 No.13380544
    A dildo that cannot get you off, instead anyone you look at while using it will feel the dildo instead.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:16 No.13380547
    A small metal box that, when opened, shouts the answer to a question that someone, somewhere in the world just asked.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:17 No.13380556
    A fish hook which causes all fish attached to it to become musically capable, followed by a short dance number, then the death of the fish.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:20 No.13380596
    A magical ring that slices off whatever digit it is on.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:21 No.13380609
    >Implications that imply implications
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:22 No.13380620
    An indestructible ornament that no matter how hard you try will never stay on the tree.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:22 No.13380628
    >Implying that you couldn't get a millions dollars by livestreaming that on the internet and charging per view
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:23 No.13380634
    A headband that summons ghostly bees, which are invisible to the wearer but can be seen by everyone else..
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:24 No.13380651
    A doormat that will spell out a greeting apropriate to what whomever steps on it thinks of.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:27 No.13380695
    A sword that glows blue when a command word is spoken. The glow is totally contained when the blade is sheathed.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:32 No.13380741
    You'd have to stare the person non-stop the entire time and you'd never have the added high of feeling it yourself.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:34 No.13380760
    A book that, whilst closed, contains the secrets of the universe. If it is opened more than a few millimeters, however, the words vanish, replaced by an in-depth recipe for tuna casserole.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:36 No.13380778
    A bottle of limitless severed penises.
    >> Agares !a9.MfebhPU 01/03/11(Mon)01:37 No.13380793
    A glove that becomes extremely heavy if worn while stealing something.

    (Stealing from Oblivion here) An item that allows the owner simultaneous water breathing and water walking powers.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:40 No.13380817
    It's called acting, honey.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:41 No.13380837
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    Never mind that water won't actually save you from the guard...
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:43 No.13380862
    A spear that looks incredibly valuable, but is in fact worthless.
    A piece of paper that fills everyone within 10 meters with unease.
    A knife that, when it touches a piece of metal, transforms it into an origami crane made from said metal.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:50 No.13380927
    A small cloth which is always dry and cand remove a stain in one wipe, said stain is then held by the cloth until wiped onto a different surface where it then transfers the stain.
    >> Neurosurgeon That Graduated Top of His Class 01/03/11(Mon)01:54 No.13380963
    Any artifacts my damn dorfs make.

    I had craftdwarf workshops set up on the work level, and near the fun stuff, deep in the earth. When they got a strange mood, they would always choose to go to the very bottom one, instead of going for the more convenient location -- you know, five steps over. It's like they were laughing at me when they constructed a microcline mug with gopher bones engraved with an image of a microcline mug.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)01:55 No.13380975
    This would make awesome toilet paper.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)02:00 No.13381020
    Hahha I love /tg/
    not the use I had in mind but that's fucking crafty
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)02:17 No.13381175
    A +2 dog of cats.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)02:30 No.13381298
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    Hair of Strife. This is a long blonde strand of hair that, once grasped by a man, will bond with him. It can be brushed off, but will reappear at inopportune moments, like when your wife is asking you where you've been all night. It exudes a subtle but distinct scent of perfume. The only way to get rid of it is to convince another man to pick the hair off you, at which point it bonds with him. Picture somewhat related.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)02:43 No.13381383
    Wand of Create Wand (Create Wand)

    one charge
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)02:44 No.13381392
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    Wand of Unrealistic Expectations. Tapping the wand against something concealed will make people believe that it is somehow better than it actually is. They expect your money pouch to contain more money that it actually does. They suspect you have a better physique beneath your cloak. Unfortunately, they view their expectations as merely reasonable and will not be impressed or put off by them. (If, for instance, you tap your poker cards, they may expect you to have three of a kind rather than a pair, but that won't affect the way they play their hand, even if it really should.) Upon revealing whatever was concealed, they will be vaguely disappointed.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)02:48 No.13381424

    Or just make arrows out of the wands.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)02:50 No.13381439
    >A spear that looks incredibly valuable, but is in fact worthless.
    How would this even work?
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)02:51 No.13381449
    When I want run's out of charges it crumbles to dust.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)02:52 No.13381455
    a shield that is unbreakable when not being used in combat
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)02:52 No.13381462
    map to the greatest treasure in the world, anyone who reads it immediately forgets everything they ever saw, including the map.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)02:57 No.13381505

    sell the staff for buttloads to a poorly versed trader, use the knife to get rid of any metal door ever, and slip the paper to someone to make them and the people with them to get extremely paranoid and possibly have a breakdown.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:00 No.13381526
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    Wand of Jumbles. Waving the wand at something organized will put it into disarray as soon as nobody is looking at it. Carefully sorted stacks of paper turn to piles of pages randomly heaped together. A backpack full of items put in particular places will lose all sense of order. A second wave of the wand will restore everything to its original, sorted state.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:00 No.13381532

    This is my favorite thing in this thread.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:02 No.13381551
    That is so useful that you're an idiot for even thinking of equating the word "useless" with it.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:17 No.13381652
    that would make fishing so much fun
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.13381660
    The rod of animal amalgamation. When the tip touches a creature, all creatures of similar type suddenly stick together to form a larger version of the original creature. (think a large dog made of smaller dogs glued together) Size of the new creature is dependent on the size of the original animal and the number of similar animals near it. All creatures retain their normal intelligence and thought processes, they are simply stuck together

    Not useless, but could be amusing
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.13381662
    A compass that points to where you were one minute ago.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:33 No.13381791
    A necklace that, when worn, stops your voice from echoing.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:47 No.13381919
    Naaaaa na na na na na na na...
    >> [Ag]Corp. Shot !H508X.HbJ6 01/03/11(Mon)03:51 No.13381972
    >A knife that, when it touches a piece of metal, transforms it into an origami crane made from said metal.
    >What armor?

    Seriously. So useful.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:54 No.13382001
    Cunningly-crafted wooden apples. They taste delicious, but are indestructible.

    A codpiece of holding. It can hold anything, but it's socially awkward, not to mention disadvantageous in combat, to be rummaging around in your trousers for your hero's ... junk.

    A cat-apult. It's a small, animated catapult, that follows the hero around, but is really only accurate when it's launching cats.

    Related to the first one ... iron rations. Made of iron.

    A scabbard of dulling. Blades inserted into the scabbard become dull and rusted.

    Finally, Figurines of Wondrous Copyright Attorneys. They summon a scribe who can only be made to attack bards or other performing types who replicate the bards' performances without paying royalties.
    >> [Ag]Corp. Shot !H508X.HbJ6 01/03/11(Mon)03:56 No.13382015
    >A scabbard of dulling. Blades inserted into the scabbard become dull and rusted.
    >capture enemy
    >Dull his blade
    >You now have an excellent and frightening torture implement.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)04:16 No.13382163
    A toothpick +5. People trying to remove flecks of food from their teeth tend to stab themselves and bleed, but for negligible damage.

    A sentient sword, inhabited by a complete and total pacifistic coward. The blade will not and cannot be used to attack anything. However, the cultured and sophisticated courtier whose soul is trapped in the blade has an extensive knowledge of fine wines and cheeses.

    A bag of dehydrated water.

    A crystal ball of scrying. It's fixed on a peasant's house, and cannot spy anywhere else. If you're interested in watching a rat-catcher and his wife, children, and pigs, this is the item for you.

    Scissors of mending. They cannot cut anything, but can return cut cloth and paper to its original, whole state.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)04:19 No.13382189
    >A bag of dehydrated water.
    Nostalgiaing so hard. Some friends of mine made a fake commercial for dehydrated water. It was the most amazing thing ever.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)04:22 No.13382217


    And link us to it.

    And tell your friends and embarass them.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)04:25 No.13382241

    What the hell is this shit? I was expecting something better than this.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)04:27 No.13382254

    , and
    This post campaign. in my

    was I may use

    item awesome
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)04:31 No.13382274
    >A wallet which, when opened, spawns 1d8 moths. Any money placed in the wallet disappears as soon as the wallet is closed, and the moths will ravenously eat any nearby clothing that isn't being worn.

    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)04:32 No.13382286
    A pair of gloves than turn invisible when you wear them.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)04:32 No.13382288
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    >A crystal ball of scrying. It's fixed on a peasant's >house, and cannot spy anywhere else. If you're >interested in watching a rat-catcher and his wife, >children, and pigs, this is the item for you.

    I came......
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)04:38 No.13382329
    A pair of seven-league boots that are always slightly too small to wear.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)04:45 No.13382390
    Amulet of Orc Warning. Whenever an Orc (hostile or not) is within thirty feet, and in plain view, the amulet will declare THE ORCS ARE APPROACHING in a low, constipated voice.

    Also available in the Insectoid version; when a hostile monstrous insect is within thirty feet, and plainly visible, it screams BUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS! extremely loudly like a fuckwit.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)04:50 No.13382413
    Trash bag: Contains various amounts of worthless trash whenever opened
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)04:54 No.13382442
    Wand of statement, when this wand is pointed at any physical object it will loudly exclaim exactly what you personally think about that object, even if you have yet to form an opinion about that object.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)04:55 No.13382454
    once in a changeling game I got a little bag that whenever opened would tell me to fuck off in various ways.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)05:01 No.13382492
    A ball-vice of omniscience. Whenever you wear it, you know everything, but are incapable of writing, speaking, drawing, moving or even thinking clearly due to excruciating pain.

    As soon as you take it off, you forget everything you learned.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)05:03 No.13382522
    A pair of really baggy pants that makes your junk grow twice as long. This enchantment disappears as soon as the pants come off.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)05:05 No.13382537
    You know that I could probably take over the world with an item like that.

    I'm disappointed in you.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)05:06 No.13382543
    Good confidence builder, though.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)05:08 No.13382554
    Tear the pages off one by one. Never opened. Still read it. Fuck ya.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)05:08 No.13382557
    Just don't take them off. Wear two pair!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)05:08 No.13382559
    >point it through a crowd

    "All of these people are assholes!"
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)05:09 No.13382562
    90% of the items in this thread would be EXTREMELY useful to anyone with even the merest amounts of inventiveness.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)05:14 No.13382609
    And in almost all cases, this is noticeable immediately, so the "seemingly" part doesn't hold either.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)05:16 No.13382621
    >use with pain immunity

    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 01/03/11(Mon)05:49 No.13382835
    The Hasted Knitting Needles

    These knitting needles allow a character to be hasted, but only when they are in the act of knitting, and only while the player's life is threatened.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)05:52 No.13382849
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    Did someone steal something in this thread?

    By which I mean YOU VIOLATED THE LAW
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)06:24 No.13382948
    This has all been a huge help to my treasure hunting game.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)06:24 No.13382950
    Bag of Beholding: A pocket-sized bag, that when opened, a 1:20 scale Beholder pops out
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)06:33 No.13382992
    A stick that always smells a little bit odd.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)06:34 No.13383000
    A headband which, when worn, slowly replaces the wearers memories with ones that are identical, except they're being narrated by Jeremy Irons.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)06:38 No.13383011
    I'd kill my grandmother with my father's severed dick to have that item in real life.
    >> Sweet Soul Bro !!H5XdMKmBv5G 01/03/11(Mon)06:41 No.13383018
    Suddenly, Mini-Beholders everywhere.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)06:42 No.13383023
    Like a swarm of horrible, horrible bees.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)06:43 No.13383030

    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)07:05 No.13383123
    >instrument unfill

    you took the words right out of my mouth, capatcha.

    if i had jeremy irons in my head constantly, i think i would last about 2 hours before dashing my skull open to make the hurting stop.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)07:20 No.13383174
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    Pendant of Pretentiousness. Gives you the hoity-toity accent of a foreign noble (think snooty Frenchman / Englishman). Does not actually enable you to understand or speak their language. Accent disappears once pendant is removed, you are cursed with the drawl of an ignorant country bumpkin for the next few hours.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)08:05 No.13383386
    Purse of Infinite Greed
    -Any coin placed inside this item disappears forever.

    Festering Sword
    -This is an infected weapon. Any sword it touches is transformed into a Festering Sword. It is identical to a standard sword except for a faint odor of decay.

    Miniature Lighthouse
    -A model of a lighthouse with an ever-burning beacon light. It attracts stormy weather.

    The Dark Lord Kamastamille, Fiend of Stubul
    -This is a small dog. It smells of brimstone and has faintly-glowing red eyes. It is otherwise indistinguishable from a normal dog.

    -A hovering silver sphere that gravitates toward individuals whose parents were not married at the time of their conception.

    Ioun Chamber Pot
    -This chamber pot orbits its owner's head at all times.

    Half-wit Bit
    -A small, multicolored construct that can float and follows its owner. It can only say "Yes" and will do so in response to any question.

    FATAL Ointment
    -Enlarges any orifice to which it is applied. Effect lasts 2300d10000 picoseconds.

    Grogon's Eye
    -Turns any alcoholic drink within line-of-sight to stone.

    Picasso Ring
    -When worn, makes your facial features appear to be oddly placed.

    Criminal Scum
    -A bucket of pond scum. Town guards seem to be drawn to whoever carries it.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)08:13 No.13383408
    Give the item to a nun and tell her its cursed and it should remain in the cathedral vault so no demons can get it.

    Ownership is who is in charge, not who's holding it. Then politely advance upon the nun as a love interest.

    You didn't specify what sort of impulses they are.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)08:20 No.13383436

    If I had an evil lair, I'd keep one of those model lighthouses in it.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)08:20 No.13383440
    That might be the craftiest plot to get with a nun I've ever read.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)08:40 No.13383545
    This seems like the perfect place for a Captcha artifact.

    Wormy Lestat

    A race of vampires long forgotten by legend.
    This evil dwells deep underground and only enters the human realm when it rains, slithering up to the surface they crawl from the ground in worm form to feast on the blood of anyone walking around without shoes on.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)08:43 No.13383557
    >Seemingly useless magical items

    But everyone else seems to have ignored it, so whatever. Why can't we just have a magic items and spells thread?
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)08:44 No.13383568
    Quim Adjurama

    A simple power word to turn any bodypart of the opponent into a quim
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)08:47 No.13383580
    A small twisted peice of metal that acts as a cloak pin. It is nigh indestructible but cannot be worn on "luxury" materials (such as silk).

    A large waterhorn that never bursts or sours the contents.

    A broken tea set that still functions as if it were newly made. It also hisses if there is homemade cake nearby.

    A mirror that always reflects the owners face, no matter how far away he is.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)08:53 No.13383604

    Get one of those mirrors, keep it somewhere near important people such as family. They'll be able to see if you're sleeping, awake, hurt (at least in the face) or dead no matter where you are.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)08:54 No.13383609

    So they'd have the health meter from DOOM in their living room?
    >> Lieutenant General Halazzi !zO1NDocbl6 01/03/11(Mon)08:56 No.13383622
    Small Troll Doll - A small doll made of frayed cloth in the rough shape of a troll. Holding this item imbues the user with the sense that they are a slight bit bigger than they are.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)09:02 No.13383647
    What's that Inspector? Me? At the scene of the crime? No sir I stay out of trouble, my fingerprints would have been everywhere if I had done it correct? You were there as well, I clearly had no gloves.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)11:57 No.13384667
    The eye thingy could take out a whole room if ya used while people were in mid drink. 
    Also stop bitching abou "not seemingly useless enough" unless you post the use you had in mind. No need to for overly obvious near infinite uses such as and indestructible shield.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)17:48 No.13388329
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    Pendant of Poison State. It glows if you have just failed your save vs. poison.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)18:17 No.13388630
    Purse of Conversion. This small pouch changes any gold coins placed inside into silver coins.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)18:25 No.13388717
    Amulet of What the Fuck Is That? Misshapen amulet appears to represent some sort of weird... thing. It's impossible to get a good grasp of its exact dimensions, and its geometry may not be entirely Euclidean. Regardless, people stop and stare at it, asking what the fuck it is. Unfortunately, you don't know.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)18:38 No.13388869
    The car door of cooling: When near the character with the lowest int in the group, opening the window allows them to believe there is a cool breeze blowing through.

    The box of want: Whatever is in the box, it is the most valuable and important thing you have ever laid your eyes on. You will do anything to have whatever's inside it.
    (Slightly less useless, but I felt it would require a bit of imagination to both realise that the box is magical and using it well.)
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)18:45 No.13388962
    > Seemingly useless magical items
    I don't think tg understood what that meens.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)19:09 No.13389207

    >magical items

    Yeah, it'll never happen.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)19:13 No.13389263
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    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)19:20 No.13389352
    grats on the reference. Now where does the other artefact come from?
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)20:03 No.13389877
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    Portable Mud Puddle. It's like a portable hole, only it's very shallow and always filled with mud.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)20:13 No.13389990
    A mouse with a dog's brain.

    Ok,, not an item. But fuck you too.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)20:39 No.13390244
    Ball of Bouncing. It keeps bouncing to the same height. If something obstructs its bounce, it tapers off like a normal ball.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)20:50 No.13390370
    Hidden Sceptor:
    Every time they use it, it opens into an alternate present where the mirror images of the party stand on the other side and look at them quizically for a moment, activate their own device and cause the rift to close.
    Each time they do this, the mirror party has some random thing on them, like cowboy hats, or mustaches (or no mustache if a party member has one).
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)20:59 No.13390470
    darkball - this magical ball hovers and follows the user around, it absorbs all light within 30ft, it can only be during the day

    (hmm, whats that giant black hole walking towards me)
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)21:07 No.13390565
    This can be incredibly useful. It isn't even seemingly useless or useless unless the user has some imagination.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)21:09 No.13390579
    A book that when activated turns into a scroll.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)21:14 No.13390635
    I think Oglaf has the monopoly on this stuff.

    Well of Doubt, Arrow of Regret, etc.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)21:16 No.13390648
    i'm going to make a table of this, for all of us
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)21:35 No.13390871
    bumping to see if you do, a friend needs to reroll and he wants to be a crafting wizard so a few of these items will come in handy
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)21:40 No.13390917

    perpetual motion
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)21:41 No.13390944
    a coin, when flipped, always lands the side you dont want it to land on
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)21:56 No.13391169
         File1294109774.png-(572 KB, 3936x4708, d76.png)
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    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)22:00 No.13391223
    Sweet. Now my next campaign can really confuse everybody.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)22:06 No.13391311
    I'LL TAKE 20!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)22:08 No.13391335
    That's a list, not a table, you jack-hole.

    Also, thanks.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)22:08 No.13391339
    you enter a room, it is filled with shelves containing hundereds of different trinket-like items, what do you do...
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)22:09 No.13391355
    fuck you, at least I actually kept my word on something

    plus its 3:10 here, tiredness is to blame
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)22:16 No.13391438
         File1294110977.jpg-(476 KB, 1024x781, Thou Vexed.jpg)
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    >24. A glove that becomes extremely heavy if worn while stealing something
    >Mass produce this item
    >Distribute to the poor of various cities
    >Cities have epidemic of 16+ Str Rogues
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)22:18 No.13391465
    >30. ... Picture somewhat related
    Swing and a miss, list-maker.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)22:19 No.13391483
    >26 and 33 are the same thing
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)22:23 No.13391531
    >41 not capitalized
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)22:25 No.13391552
    >47 whoever wrote this is stupid
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)22:30 No.13391632
    Invisible gloves- capable of turning one's hands completely invisible when worn. Unfortunately, the effect ends at the wrist.

    (For maximum uselessness, make the gloves themselves opaque)
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)22:58 No.13392010
    (Gift horse. Mouth. Look in it much?)

    Thanks for the table, man. I'll put it to good use.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)23:05 No.13392106
    Fuck you too, nigger.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)23:31 No.13392419
    It's more like "magical items that require a little creativity and imagination to be useful" than actually useless, but I've never seen a set of these (and I've looked at a lot) that was truly useless.

    Good thread.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)00:13 No.13392855
    WHY AIN't yall niggaz be postin this this warhammer/mtg/dnd/evangelion thread?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)02:28 No.13394097
    A flask of phlogiston. It can be used to light fires, or if placed in a bowl it will act as a small camp fire. Produces 6 ounces a day.

    This isn't remotely useless, but I like it.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)02:33 No.13394129
         File1294126427.jpg-(9 KB, 201x151, GendoGlasses.jpg)
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    Glasses that switch what is seen in each eye. So you see on your left with your right eye, and on your right with your left eye.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)02:51 No.13394281
         File1294127461.jpg-(27 KB, 558x450, 1270314042519.jpg)
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    A coffee mug that always refills its self once emptied with an exact replica of the coffee that was once in it.

    "In the cold dead hand of the skeleton you see a small mug with what appears to be filled with still hot coffee..."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)04:35 No.13395155
    postmodern literature
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)04:38 No.13395179

    "In the cold dead hand of the skeleton you see a small mug with what appears to be filled with spiders..."
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)04:42 No.13395201
    ....Is that Stan Lee? What anime was HE in?
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)04:46 No.13395225


    he's also seen committing seppuku in the first few pages of Mechanical Boy Ultimo.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)04:46 No.13395234
         File1294134418.jpg-(433 KB, 640x426, heroman (1).jpg)
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    forgot my image.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)04:55 No.13395295
    Wow, and now I know Stan Lee does anime too.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)04:57 No.13395313
    A book that constantly bleeds when you open it. Nothing inside, it just bleeds.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)05:02 No.13395352
    A necklace which grants berserk strength, but only when the wearer is sleeping.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)05:04 No.13395367
    Think of the amount of trouble you'd go through to identify something like that.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)05:06 No.13395380
    A small vial of sand, the grains of which are guaranteed to sparkle in the corner of a viewers eye. You ever see a flash in the corner of your eye, then look only to realize it was just the light reflecting off a sparkle on the ground? They will always do that.
    >> Anonymous 01/04/11(Tue)05:23 No.13395472
         File1294136621.jpg-(180 KB, 691x632, cosmo.jpg)
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    A noose that always snaps when you try to hand someone with it, then reforms.

    Remember, SEEMINGLY useless.

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