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  • File : 1294531798.png-(138 KB, 695x570, GGIntro.png)
    138 KB Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)19:09 No.13446636  
    It's Saturday night and I'm bored. Time for another round of Goofus and Gallant Quest! Last time we played, /tg/ aced a science project, halfassed it on cleaning a vacant lot, and fucked up their chance to sleep with Olympia at camp. WHAT SHALL BE YOUR NEXT ADVENTURE?

    Best of five usually decides the route, so be clear so I'll count your vote. Quests marked with an X CANNOT BE CHOSEN.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)19:11 No.13446655
    rolled 70 = 70

    sage for shitty questfag
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)19:11 No.13446660

    yeah ok
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)19:11 No.13446663
    forgot your sage bro
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)19:13 No.13446674
    Let's go with Dog Days. We shall assemble a team of hell-hounds to crush our enemies.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)19:14 No.13446688
    singing in the snow
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)19:14 No.13446698
    Oh brother, because the way its spaced out makes me think that this will be stalker-related.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)19:16 No.13446717
    Moving On

    Sounds like there's room for shenanigans
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)19:24 No.13446779
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    Eh, I was gonna wait for a tiebreaking vote but forget it, let's go with this one.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)19:25 No.13446786
    fucking shitty quests, quests are never going to be /tg/ related
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)19:25 No.13446791
         File1294532735.png-(100 KB, 648x478, GG2.png)
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    Will you work for the bike or trust your fate to the birthday gods?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)19:27 No.13446810
    We go on quests to try to earn our money

    Wanna argue with the sticky?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)19:28 No.13446820
    we shall quest
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)19:48 No.13447024
    I thought the first guy was telling us to just steal the bike. I like this idea the most, but I'd rather do the second if its not an available choice (which I have a hunch that it isn't)
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)19:52 No.13447077

    So is that a vote for Goofus?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)19:53 No.13447089
    shit quest
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:00 No.13447193
    If Goofus is telling us to steal it, then yes. If he's saying be lazy and wait for three months, then no. I vote for the other guy in that case.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)20:04 No.13447245
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    He's telling us to wait for three months, so I'll count that as a Gallant vote. /tg/ chooses Gallant!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:05 No.13447255
    /tg/ chooses GTFO, faggot
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)20:05 No.13447260
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    This won't backfire at all.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:05 No.13447269
    Try to get money for the bike. Or steal the bike if that's valid
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:07 No.13447286
    how about dog raping, is that a good way to make money?
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)20:07 No.13447292
         File1294535254.png-(95 KB, 651x511, GG5.png)
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    Are you gonna share the goods, /tg/? (Monitor is crap so this is what I gotta settle with in terms of a cap.)
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:08 No.13447307
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    >women working

    Don't make me laugh. Vote Goofus
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:08 No.13447308
    well she's not very well gonna fuck us for a promotion if we DON'T hire her, now is she?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:09 No.13447319
    Hire Natasha or she'll probably turn out to be better at dogs than us and we'll lose money
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:10 No.13447332
    In that case, we can only hire her if we pay less than minimum wage.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:11 No.13447336
    Fuck no... it's just dog walking, having a second person helping isn't going to somehow make twice the cash or make the dogs shit faster.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:12 No.13447353
    Hire Natasha. Subtly control her and make her do more work than you, while making it appear as if you do more work than her. Thus take more money from her. Also sex her.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)20:15 No.13447395
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    /tg/ choose Gallant for "honorable" reasons.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)20:16 No.13447417
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    How good is your poo fu, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:19 No.13447436
    From an accounting perspective, shampoo is not a liquid asset and can't be resold, so we wouldn't lose any money using it. We would lose money if we buy more. It'd be stupid not to use it.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:19 No.13447439
    We need the money for the bike, so let's go Goofus. Besides, if this backfires we can just blame Natasha.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:20 No.13447449
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:20 No.13447452
    get dog shampoo. Human shampoo sticks in dog's fur really bad and makes them itchy and they smell weird. I tried that once and I regretted it and so did my dog.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:20 No.13447454
    No, dogs do not bloody well need special shampoo. Plus you only need a tiny amount and then dilute it with water.

    Use the sister's stuff
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)20:22 No.13447490
         File1294536167.png-(40 KB, 599x357, GG8.png)
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    /tg/ chooses Goofus! Now with less "being able to read"
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:23 No.13447508
    oh noes! we done goofed!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:24 No.13447511
    God damn the GM writing this.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:24 No.13447520
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)20:24 No.13447521
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    Fortunately, Mr. Schmeltzer does not break his disguise as a Highlander to destroy you.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:25 No.13447539
    really? Wow... that's just extra bullshit railroading... it's worse than the one where God himself basicly comes down and says "Fuck You, Goofus!"
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:25 No.13447541
    K things are alirght
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)20:26 No.13447551
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    Do you need Google Maps, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:27 No.13447557
    OK let's steal some dog shampoo
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:27 No.13447566
    Yes let's use google maps and write down the number
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:28 No.13447571
    I'd like it noted that none of this shit would have happen if we hadn't let the girl join the operation.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:28 No.13447585
    After the last railroading debacle? We'll hit our head and get amnesia if we don't write it down.

    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:29 No.13447590
    What kind of moron would'nt right down the address?

    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:29 No.13447595
    Can he ever remember his phone number? No we're writing it down.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:30 No.13447604
    Writing down the address would be useless as we've already proven we can't read.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:30 No.13447617
    write down the address on her ass while you fuck her as punishment for the bitch grabbing the wrong shampoo.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:31 No.13447621
    in b4 you write it down and lose the note, or write it down wrong.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)20:32 No.13447631
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    /tg/ chooses Gallant! Model airplanes suck, do you have Figuarts or something, I can't fight Another Agito with this
    >> Crix !!nLvSV/0cRma 01/08/11(Sat)20:33 No.13447643
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    Could you imagine being goofus?

    It would be living hell, suddenly you're running down the school hallway when a scissor in your backpack slips out into your hand and you impale some kid in the eye.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)20:33 No.13447655
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    THE END! Boy, that was...cut short. I feel robbed of a satisfactory Goofus and Gallant experience.

    One more quest so it stays in one thread. Choose your destiny from the OP picture!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:35 No.13447686
    Let's harass our younger brother.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:35 No.13447699
    You know would Gallant call Goofus Goofus or would he call Goofus by his god given Christian name instead of being a dick bag?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:36 No.13447708
    Moving on, I never want to see that Natasha bitch again
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:37 No.13447723
    We got enough money for a bike AND a dog? Dogs are fucking expensive, we must be rich.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:37 No.13447735

    Not when you adopt one from a shelter like a kind-hearted individual.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)20:38 No.13447747

    Well, you see, it was cheap because the dog only has...TWO LEGS.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:38 No.13447749
    Do adopted dogs eat less?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)20:43 No.13447822
    presumably our parents are actually willing to pay for upkeep
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:01 No.13447933
    We didn't even have sex with her...
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:09 No.13447998
    I'm going with Brother. Though, after I found these online, I must say I'm disappointed. If you do anything that isn't Ultra-good, White Knight-esque, you will be fucked over, and fucked over hard.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:10 No.13448008
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    Rolling for SAN loss.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:17 No.13448059
    If anyone's interested I'm currently making a (gigantic) flow chart for the Dog Days story. Mostly to quickly display how you get anally raped every time you follow Goofus' advice.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)21:20 No.13448085
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    All right, Brother it is. 4chan's been messing up for me, so let's hope this goes through.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:22 No.13448110
    hey let's be fair, it didn't say we DIDN'T have sex with her, and we didn't completely piss her off, so a handsome fellow like us almost DEFINITELY stuck it in that, on multiple occasions
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:24 No.13448128
    It's because this is basically a propaganda device for parents to show their kids how you're screwed if you aren't an upper left blue 24/7.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)21:27 No.13448139
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    Yeah, fuck you, Evan, I was the god damn WIZARD OF OZ
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:27 No.13448143
    let's kill him and wear his skin
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)21:29 No.13448176
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    How committed are you to your ACTING CAREER, /tg/?

    I'm now imagining the main character as a tiny Brian Blessed complete with beard.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:30 No.13448195
    Though, to be fair, a lot of times Goofus's suggestions are just plain retarded. Like not writing down the address.

    Though this is balanced out by the fact that both choices are usually retarded, and aren't good divergence points. They also offer no moral ambiguity to go further than "Lazy vs Lawful"
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:33 No.13448208
    oh god, the moral weight of such decisions,

    i suggest we help him, due to the meta-info I've witnessed in this thread
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:33 No.13448210
    fuck him, you need to get to work on your christian bale impersonation for the elemtary school performance of the dark knight
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:33 No.13448212
    Fuck him. Who the fuck randomly spells out words? Maybe he has tourettes or something...

    Though we get shafted if we pick any of Goofus's suggestions. So I'm honestly split.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:34 No.13448215
    Offer to help him out so we can sabotage him.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:35 No.13448224
    Offer to help so we can sabotage him.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:36 No.13448231
    I really want to do that.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)21:41 No.13448276

    I can't tell if these two are different people or not.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:45 No.13448300
    I posted twice by accident.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:47 No.13448323
    flip a coin for the tie breaker.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:48 No.13448329
    don't, even if it means buttrape no lube.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)21:51 No.13448359

    I'll count them as a single vote for Gallant, then.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:51 No.13448363
    Goofes, fuck the consequences the other choice has mommies boy written all over it.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:52 No.13448377
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    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)21:58 No.13448451
    OP continue man!
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)21:58 No.13448460

    Need a tiebreaker vote first. Got 2 for Goofus and 2 for Gallant.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:01 No.13448493
    let's just roll for it.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:01 No.13448495

    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)22:02 No.13448502

    I'll roll if it takes too long, but that takes the fun out of questing.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)22:03 No.13448517
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    /tg/ chooses Goofus by a hair. Will you go for the prize?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:06 No.13448559
    so nothing changes... you knw what let's choose gallant and then sacrfice him to Chutulu... or ruin his work...
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:07 No.13448576
    Goofus, cause we're being forced to do shit.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:07 No.13448581
    The only compensation we need is the chance to see him fail miserably after our "help".
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:08 No.13448586
    Goofus. This is AMERICA, not some backwards soviet state.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:12 No.13448624
    How bout four votes with rolls for eventual need of tie-breaker?

    Also, Gallant.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:15 No.13448657
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:16 No.13448669
    Gallant. Because we can screw him over later.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:19 No.13448699
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    these adventures are too short to think about the long term, goofus go go go
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)22:20 No.13448706
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    /tg/ picks Goofus since that got majority first. >>13448581 was vague to me, so I didn't really count it.

    Anyway, this is how my dad raised me - our reward for doing work was "not do more work for a bit". And we get ANOTHER choice. This is not going well for our hero!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:21 No.13448729
    So wait, did we get out of helping the kid?
    >> Crix !!nLvSV/0cRma 01/08/11(Sat)22:22 No.13448741
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    >implying goofus won't sneak out anyway
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:24 No.13448752
    let him stay then

    sorry, but I can't be the only one who thought that when reading...
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:25 No.13448770
    Fuck him. Why the fuck does a genius need us to help him, anyways?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:27 No.13448783
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    Evan is being a douchebag faggot who only cares about himself. Tell him to go fuck himself for making you lose out on learning your lines AND missing the movies with your friends. He's being a spoiled mama's boy and your mom doesn't give a dick about you.

    >civist AUTHORS
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:40 No.13448891
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    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)22:42 No.13448910

    Best out of five and it's too early to roll.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:43 No.13448921
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    It doesn't matter if we mess with Evan. He's just gonna be pic related.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:43 No.13448927
    let's go gallant, goofus has fucked us over so far.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:48 No.13448974
    goofus wouldn't be a choice if it didn't have good results to pick him.

    goofus, can't be all bad.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:49 No.13448984
    Protip: Goofus will ALWAYS fuck you over. Take, for example, this hypothetical choice:

    You get dressed, and the only thing left to do is tie your shoelaces. What should you do?

    Goofus: Fuck it. Just put your laces in your shoes and go out. You have better things to do.

    Gallant: Do it because your parents and Jesus said it was the right thing to do

    >pick Goofus

    You get two steps out your door before your laces pop out, trip you, and send you sprawling into heavy traffic. You wake up in the hospital three months later, and you now cannot move anything below your chin. At least you'll never have to tie your shoes anymore!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:50 No.13448993

    He totally can be.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)22:50 No.13448997
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    /tg/ picks Goofus, proving that, under fire, it is an asshole.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:50 No.13448998
    you should write these things
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:51 No.13449004
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    In the context of the story, it's more like this.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:51 No.13449011
    does this mean we're getting laid?
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)22:51 No.13449014
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    You up for some honest father-to-son talk, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:53 No.13449028
    When the fuck did I decide that I want to see him at the spelling bee? It sounds boring as hell. Lets ask our dad, if only to see if he'll let us not go. I'd suggest skipping it without asking, but I doubt that we have a means of transportation, nor the freedom to do it due to the railroad nature of this plot.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:54 No.13449033
    I don't trust any plan Goofus comes up with on his own. Go Gallant.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:54 No.13449034
    Let's see what he has to say. That way we can ignore our brother but still seem like the nice guy.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:55 No.13449042
    let's ask dad, he may have a way to 'break off the tracks', so to speak
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:55 No.13449048
    Ask dad about drugs and sex. He said we could ask him anything, right?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:56 No.13449059
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    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)22:58 No.13449076
    I'll go Gallant this time. :(
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)23:00 No.13449101
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    /tg/ chooses Gallant, but dad is too fucking lazy and tells you to take it to your drama coach. Do you?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)23:05 No.13449132
    Yes so we can try to seduce her. If not, we can always go to her and say that she said we should do it instead of listening to our brother spell shit.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)23:07 No.13449150
    Fuck that. Skip the bee, talk to no one.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)23:12 No.13449179
    I agree, but the plot doesn't. We can't do that, because we'll just get railroaded to the bee.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)23:15 No.13449202
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    Why not try and believe?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)23:16 No.13449213
    Because you want Goofus. >>13448984 is what happens when you pick Goofus.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)23:16 No.13449221


    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)23:20 No.13449265
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    You ever seen a drama person get mad?
    Gallant is fucking DEAD.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)23:23 No.13449296
    She wont get mad, though. You have to become aware of the setting we're in, and play to its rules. The drama lady wont get pissed and start being a drama bitch, she'll be nice and offer advice.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)23:26 No.13449336

    She'll stab me.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)23:37 No.13449477
    I'm now imagining that Gallant is just a shell-shocked Goofus, desperately picking the most straight-laced solutions to problems to avoid incurring the wrath of an angry god.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)23:39 No.13449495
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    Feh, it's been long enough - I'll go tiebreaker and vote Gallant, earning him the win. Next time will alternate.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)23:40 No.13449503
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    We get the role because we are Tiny Brian Blessed.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)23:42 No.13449518
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    Know what my dad got my sister for landing a part in a play? "You should focus on French more."

    He was a giant asshole.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)23:44 No.13449537
    He spells out words in the middle of a goddamn song? Fuck him.

    It also appears that our Gallant Gambit has backfired on us by denying us our excuse to avoid the bee.
    >> Titanium Man 01/08/11(Sat)23:44 No.13449539
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    THE END! This one felt a bit longer than the other, but it's still more fun when you Goofus all the way.

    Anyway, that's it for this installment of Goofus and Gallant Quest. Join me later on when we do the FINAL TWO QUESTS and see if /tg/ truly is a Goofus or a Gallant!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)23:45 No.13449549
    Enjoy your shitty bee.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)23:46 No.13449553
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    First loser, bro. First loser.

    Meanwhile I'm lead.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/11(Sat)23:51 No.13449614
    Can someone explain to me how the fuck watching a spelling bee could ever be fun. I'm obviously excluding things that you could do AT a spelling bee to make it fun, because it's said that he was enjoying the act of simply watching it.
    >> Anonymous 01/09/11(Sun)00:01 No.13449690

    Unless you like listening to the words being said or your kid is in it...
    >> Titanium Man 01/09/11(Sun)00:03 No.13449707

    "Concerned. C-O-N-C-E-R-N-E-D. Concerned."

    "YES. WOW. I was looking forward to THAT word. YES. AWESOME WORD."
    >> Anonymous 01/09/11(Sun)00:17 No.13449843
    Even if it was your kid, I imagine it being boring most of the time. But he wasn't even your kid.

    Maybe if you got really drunk beforehand...
    >> Titanium Man 01/09/11(Sun)00:26 No.13449940

    "Spell assume."
    "Assume. A-S-U-M-E. Assume."
    "I'm sorry, that's incorrect."
    >> Anonymous 01/09/11(Sun)07:22 No.13453003

    That's terrible and hilarious at the same time.
    >> Anonymous 01/09/11(Sun)08:29 No.13453523
    I can only assume, based on the previous Goofus-triggered railroading, that had we gone all Goofus the father would have turned out to be a violent drunk, and our unwillingness to involve him in our lives would have dragged him into an alcohol-fueled spiral ending in a tear-filled divorce...that makes us miss our audition.

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