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  • File : 1297561809.gif-(109 KB, 670x541, 962545ccd3aac68d81074a699dde9238.gif)
    109 KB Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)20:50 No.13880437  
    Okay, /tg/. Awesome kills general.

    >Abberoth casts an illusion, I walk forward on my horse
    >Abberoth splits horse in two, green gloops me
    >Have to jump into water to keep from suffocating on air
    >Fight the Abberoth, get a critical, carve my way straight up THROUGH the fish with a dagge
    >emerge on the other side covered in blood
    >> Phoenix !!DiJrnAJDGNk 02/12/11(Sat)20:56 No.13880524
    >Paladin of Hextor attacks our NPC village, takes our families and friends slave, so we become PCs
    >Spend literally entire campaign tracking this douchebag down
    >Reunite with Orc side of my half-Orcs family, put tearful bro-union off POR LA VENGANZA
    >find Dick-Paladin using our village as slave labour to build holy symbol to LE god
    >NOPE.jpg
    >Half-Orc gets bulked up to Large size, Bulls Strength etc. And then Rages the fuck out
    >Picks up Paladin like a ragdoll, slams him to his holy fucking symbol and crucify him the fuck to it with swords.
    >free our family, set fire to holy symbol and crucifed paladin and anything else tries to fuck with us going back to our quiet, happy NPC lives
    >ROW ROW FIGHT THE HEXTOR
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:03 No.13880601
         File1297562616.jpg-(107 KB, 654x421, Guts_slasher_smile_7502.jpg)
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    >playing a greatsword wielding fighter in 3.5.
    >monster hunter backstory. Took a decently high Int, cross classed in to scout, have most Knowledge Skills, with a GM feat for a +5 relating to monster knowledge.
    >GM has a 'vorpal' house rule. A natch 20, followed by a 20 on the confirm roll, followed by a THIRD 20 = instant decap.
    >This has never happened before. In 10 years of gaming.
    >Party comes up to huge cave. Gargantuan Black Dragon comes out cave, looks at us like we're dinner.
    >We are like level 6. This fight is nearly impossible for us, DM tell us so. He does this, from time to time. Black Dragon is probably gonna slap a geas on us or some shit, send us off on an aggravating (and probably evil) quest.
    >My character is a monster hunter. Dragons are monsters. Fuck it's shit. ROLL INITIATIVE.
    >Roll low on init. Whole party goes first. Everyone does minor damage, Dragon is Boss Mode.
    >Dragon breathes on us. Hurts bad, but no party members down yet.
    >My turn.
    >Attack Roll. 20.
    >Confirm Roll. 20.
    >Pause for dramatic effect. GM has been watching rolls.
    >Roll third 20.

    >Jump twenty feet in the air, and decapitate black dragon in a single blow.
    >mfw.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:06 No.13880635
    >Playing noble in WHFRP
    >two skaven run into me when running away from other party members
    >coup de gras one with my pistol
    >other begins to grapple me
    >I bite his nose, 7 damage
    >he tries to bite me back, I stab him in the mouth with my main gauche
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:07 No.13880641
    >>13880437
    >Okay, /tg/. Awesome kills general.

    Not until you explain what the hell is up with your picture.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:08 No.13880656
         File1297562916.jpg-(100 KB, 800x782, 1264388293156.jpg)
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    >Fighting priest on top of a landing pad during logideamon invasion
    >Deamon knife vs powersword
    >Psyker tries to assist
    >Rolls 9
    >Raining blood
    >tries again
    >rolls 9
    >Rolls 100
    >Get's sucked into the warp.
    >Priest spasms
    >Pulls the trigger of his offhand pistol
    >Shoots me full of holes.
    >I lop off his head
    >Fail possession check
    >Go on daemonic killing frenzy
    >Become known as 'The Butcher'

    MFW
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:14 No.13880713
         File1297563249.png-(130 KB, 698x389, 1292841617623.png)
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    >running 3.5 mashup campaign. any book goes.
    >player rolls some kind of winged elf from faerun.
    >it is a sorcerer. sounds pretty special snowflake. make fun of female player.
    >pit low level players against vulture demon.
    >sorcerer out of spells. switches to sword. has high dex, weapon finesse. Decent sword skills.
    >attacks with sword. does okay damage. vrock about to die. player remembers she gets a bite attack from her race.
    >I check, it's true.
    >Ok, fine, whatever, roll it.
    >20.
    >We're using critical hits card deck.
    >she draws the DISEMBOWEL CARD.

    >mfw a Cha 22 Winged Elf Spellcaster bites the guts out of a vulture demon, killing it.

    And now she's a barbarian/sorcerer.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:20 No.13880776
    does anyone have the space marine one with the brick as the weapon?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:21 No.13880798
         File1297563709.jpg-(52 KB, 336x237, They-Live-Hoffman-lenses.jpg)
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    >>13880713
    god damn.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:25 No.13880847
    >>13880713

    HUGE GUTS!

    RIP AND TEAR!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:26 No.13880856
         File1297563993.jpg-(84 KB, 1440x810, 1295328227171.jpg)
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    >>13880713
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:31 No.13880902
         File1297564274.png-(53 KB, 500x242, badge.png)
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    >>13880713
    I.... kind of want to see this drawfagged out.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:33 No.13880929
    Destroying ALL of the Thor Orbital Platforms in a Shadowrun game over the course of one hour in-game time.

    And then instigating a civil revolt in Seattle.

    That was a fun game.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:36 No.13880959
    >>13880929

    I don't know.

    Seattle is pretty revolting naturally.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:38 No.13880978
    >>13880929
    Well, I haven't had any cool /tg/-related stories for a while, but I just hit the Annihilator in a Blitz match in MNC before Jump Padding over a Jackbot and killing it with a shotgun blast to the head.

    Support here; it's like you don't even need the rest of the team anymore.

    But your story sounds a lot more interesting. Sing me the song of your conquests.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:45 No.13881079
    >Leap Attack Battle Jump Warblade with a Greatspear, level 6
    >Group is checking out an old ruined castle in the woods as we were tracking a band of hobgoblin soldiers
    >Instead run into a hungry manticore
    >Terrible rolls on all parts result in the manticore unharmed and our wizard practically pinned to the wall with manticore tail spikes
    >I realize the manticore is under a hole in the roof
    >Run outside, leap into the roof, run over, then drop down through the hole onto the manticore
    >Counts as a charge thanks to Battle Jump
    >Do 56 damage in one hit
    >Pin the manticore to the ground like a butterfly collector's specimen

    Good times.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:45 No.13881084
    Not one of mine. It's a story my dad likes to tell.

    >AD&D
    >My padre is the DM
    >Group finds a bunch of bandits in a box canyon
    >Munchkin Druid/Wizard hurls a Fire Ball
    >Everybody sits down and crunches the numbers
    >Fire Ball back blast kills everyone
    >Good times
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:46 No.13881091
    >2nd ed D&D, in City of Brass, trying to get a godslayer-tier sword forged
    >fight is picked with an efreeti lord, who decides our selfish pursuit is worth punishing
    >party engages him, I (2nd ed ninja) use boots + cloak of elvenkind and a ring of fly to stick to the ceiling, unnoticed, and slide over top of him
    >Drop behind, sneak attack with long spear: 384 points of damage (a fuckton in 2nd ed)
    >Carve "384" into his chest, continue

    semi-unrelated to topic, but same encounter, and equally awesome:

    >pixie party member uses polymorph self, illusion, and disguise to appear exactly as efreeti lord
    >finds his harem
    >bluffs concubines into believing he's their master, that they're going on a trip, and that the magics require them to be in bottles for the transit part
    >seven efreeti willingly bottle themselves
    >party now has 21 wishes
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:46 No.13881098
    >>13881079
    >leap attack
    >greatspear
    ... You were playing a Final Fantasy Dragoon?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:48 No.13881125
    >>13881098
    >>13881079
    Everyone always makes that comparison.. I guess it's apt. I played her more as an Irish barbarian-hero type, though, doing those ridiculous feats of superhuman ability all the time because of something I can't remember.

    Also, earlier in the fight, I managed to use the Warblade "parry" maneuver against manticore tail spikes. Got a nat 20. DM ruled that I managed to deflect the spikes back at it. By spinning my spear.

    The fight in general was pretty ridiculous.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:51 No.13881158
         File1297565501.png-(158 KB, 350x334, Lancer.png)
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    >>13881125
    Not a Dragoon, more....
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:52 No.13881160
    >>13880713
    ...I want to draw this. What is the Elf race's name?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:55 No.13881187
    >>13881125
    >Everyone always makes that comparison.

    >Run outside, leap into the roof, run over, then drop down through the hole onto the manticore
    >Counts as a charge thanks to Battle Jump
    >Do 56 damage in one hit
    >Pin the manticore to the ground like a butterfly collector's specimen

    plus

    >I managed to deflect the spikes back at it. By spinning my spear.

    I wonder why...
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)21:57 No.13881205
    >>13881160
    Avariel or Winged Elves (Aril-Tel'Quessir)
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:03 No.13881265
    >Playing a dwarven thief, 2nd ed AD&D
    >Last encounter of dungeon is party vs. pitfiend
    >Notice a balcony with stairs leading above demon
    >run up stairs, sneak over edge of balcony, leap off
    >backstab demon with +5 dagger, natural 20
    >do so much damage pitfiend explodes in hail of guts
    >land in guts, take no damage
    >snatch wineskin from pansy elf mage, wash off blood
    >macho walk out of dungeon. Fuck YEAH.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:06 No.13881297
    >>13881160
    Avariel.
    http://images.wikia.com/forgottenrealms/images/8/88/Avariel.png
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:08 No.13881316
    >>13881297
    *THAT* gets a bite attack?

    What.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:11 No.13881345
    >>13881316

    True Fact;

    Genetically they closer similar to our Earth squirrels than to regular Faerun Elves.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:11 No.13881347
    >Played a kobold samurai addicted to smoking a CHA-boosting devil-plant (BoVD)
    >Left outside town while rest of the party goes in because I would "draw too much attention"
    >Chillin' at the wagon, wasting time
    >See party running full-tilt from angry spear-wielding mob, three rounds away
    >Take a hit of the devil-plant and ready for action
    >Run toward mob as the party keeps fleeing
    >Leap and stand *on* a leveled spear and perform iaijutsu-focus aided attack against the wielder
    >65 damage
    >Dispatch the rest of the mob in a similarly immediate manner
    >Rest of party does nothing.
    Never left behind again
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:12 No.13881360
    >>13881345

    Why the fuck can't I type.

    Genetically they are closer...

    Fuck.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:32 No.13881563
    >>13881347
    Which book includes samurai again?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:32 No.13881569
    >Dwarf fighter gets fireball wand with bright, shiny ruby fastened to the tip with a gold holder.
    >Bends the prongs and takes the ruby out
    >8 5d6 fireballs go off from the wand being broken
    >Entire party inside a 20x20x20 room
    >Everyone dies
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:35 No.13881607
    >>13881563
    The complete Warrior has a version that's shit.
    Oriental Adventures is 3e but was updated to 3.5, and is less shit.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:36 No.13881620
    >>13881563
    Was Oriental Adventures spin of samurai, though a class of the same name also appeared in Complete Warrior.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:40 No.13881671
    >>13881563
    Complete Warrior or Oriental Adventures.
    They differ slightly, though.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:42 No.13881698
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    Playing 3.5 as a human beguiler whose backstory is that he used to be a fuckall enormous monstrous spider and was a powerful magic user. he polymorphed into a human and got stuck like that, so had to start again from a low level, since somatic spider components are too different.

    anyway. since he's a puny human, his shit was somewhat wrecked when a young hill giant decided he wanted to steal his awesome spiderhole.

    my char was left out on his ass and went to the local inn to buoy his spirits with tea and crumpets. there, he ran into a dread necromancer (the other PC in this campaign) and asked for his help. the two of them go to the cave.

    the giant has blocked the door with a big rock.
    beguiler casts ghost sound to sound like a bigger giant. DM rules I get a circumstance bonus from the echo. the giant comes out to investigate. we sneak in and I lay down an obscuring mist behind us at the cave mouth.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:43 No.13881706
    (cont'd)

    since it's my cave, I know the layout so I high five the DN and give him spider climb. I lead the way up the wall onto the ceiling, because the giant won't look there.

    I snipe at him with whelms and whelming blasts, because I can't do shit for damage with my light crossbow and I'm hoping to KO him.

    (in this game, we were already aware of the giant kingdom and were on mostly friendly terms with them. even if he was being a dick, I wanted to avoid killing one of their children)

    I can't hit at all. the dread necromancer keeps bombing him with inflicts and chipping away at his health.

    the DM tells us he's on his last legs and I inform the DN of my plan. he agrees it makes sense and says he'll let me try to take him out peacefully.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:44 No.13881722
    (contd)

    the giant FINALLY discovers us and manages to bonk the DN with his club. it deals a lot of damage, so he asks if it's ok to use another inflict light.

    I say yeah, knowing roughly how much health a hill giant ought to have left after a few rounds of combat.

    he nat 20s. and confirms. max damage. his inflict light wounds did more than any of his inflict moderates had not only for the session but for the whole game.

    I ended up putting a cock ring of reduce person on the giant's finger and taking him to the local church of pelor to get res'd (for free, a fellow absent PC is a paladin there)

    once he was restored to life I gave him a good talking to and said I wouldn't tell his parents if he moved all his shit out of the cave posthaste. I also bluffed him into thinking I shrank him with my magic.

    still. mfw when the DN killed him
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:49 No.13881763
         File1297568953.png-(102 KB, 640x704, classbold.png)
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    >Evil Campaign
    >I roll a Kobold Cleric
    >We get in a fight with the priesthood of a good aligned diety
    >The Blackguard manages to land a hit on the high priest and they all respond by healing him right up to full, and a little bit over.
    >The Barbarian and Rogue are both down after getting their shit slapped by the Paladins
    >The priests are throwing around Mass Cure Moderate Wounds like they are fucking candy
    >Me: I cast Mass Heal
    >DM: Ok so [Rogue] and [Barbarian] stand up as they feel strength return to their-
    >Me: No, I want to cast it on the priests
    >The DM looks at the current health of High Priests and his four helpers, then at my caster level on my sheet
    >mfw I make five guys explode in fountains of positive energy while also bringing the Blackguard back from the brink of death and he proceeds to kick the shit out of the now unsupported Paladins.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:51 No.13881785
    >Deathwatch
    >Squad leader possessed due to crit fail willpower
    >No apothecary
    >Chaos Space Marines led by a Daemon Prince with Mark of Tzeentch
    >Epic fight later the CSM are dead but we're almost in the same boat against the Daemon Prince
    >Librarian perils'd on his turn which summoned some warp vortex which the remaining CSM failed to dodge and were slurped away, thankfully we took dodge. His power did nothing to the Daemon Prince
    >Daemon Prince bellows, "LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT IS DONE"
    >He perils
    >Summons a Daemon Prince, possessed player asks what mark the new prince has OOCly
    >GM rolls... Mark of Khorne
    >Slaughter ensues, both Princes are dead before we can even react
    >Victory
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:54 No.13881813
    >>13881763

    He is so EEEVIL that he heals bitches to death.

    Please tell me you took a god whose domain is Trickery.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:55 No.13881826
    >>13881698
    >>13881706
    >>13881722
    Cool story and everything, but I like the character. "Giant magical spider stuck as a human" isn't something that I've seen before.
    Bravo.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:57 No.13881847
    >>13881813
    I went with Gaknulak, the Kobold god of Protection, Stealth, Trickery and Traps. Mostly for the trap thing, but yes, Trickery is in his domain.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:58 No.13881864
    >>13881847

    >Stealth, Trickery, and Traps

    The Kobold God of Trolling.

    Good show.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)22:59 No.13881868
         File1297569540.jpg-(183 KB, 418x600, 1693-perfect-balls-hit.jpg)
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    >human fighter with short sword and shield
    >4 hobgoblins in cave, some of them are drunk
    >they all attack me at once
    >block with shield
    >my collegues help me to get rid of 3
    >the last one pushes me over and wants to flee
    >fuck you, revenge time. tell the DM that i flail my sword around his feet at random
    >sword gets stuck in his balls
    >he crumbles into the dust of the cave, howling like a wolf
    >twist the sword around his ballsack, he dies of blood loss and hilarity
    >clean the sword in a river for the rest of the day

    Such is the life of a warrior
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:02 No.13881895
         File1297569747.jpg-(84 KB, 1280x720, [FFFpeeps] Shinryaku! Ika Musu(...).jpg)
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    >Party finds fortified encampment where massive army of orcs, goblins, and ogres has withdrawn to.
    >Too big to take on right away, head back to town.
    >While in town, come up with a plan.
    >Get some supplies, head back to the camp.
    >Give my sorcerer a ring of invisibility and a Heward's Handy Haversack full of alchemist's fire.
    >Fly over camp dropping alchemist's fire on the wood-and-canvas towers, palisades, and tents, all while invisible and 600 feet up.
    >And using Ghost Sound to blast Ride of the Valkyries.

    >mfw a single level 10 sorcerer single-handedly wipes out roughly 2/3 of a 10,000+ orc army

    Okay, so the druid helped a little bit by using Call Lightning Storm to blast some of the peripheral towers, but the vast majority of the killing was due to fires started by the sorcerer's special deliveries.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:05 No.13881918
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    >World of Darkness Promethean/Werewolf crossover
    >PCs fighting giant Silent pandoran that looks like the Horseman of Death (I was going with a 'monsters of legend' theme for that campaign)
    >Electrification Promethean hooks self up to main power grid for the city of New Orleans.
    >Promethean uses dick as lightning rod, screaming "MINE IS THE DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS"
    >Explodes Big Bad, knocks out power for entire city of new orleans, saves world.
    >With his dick.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:07 No.13881930
    >>13881918

    his scream was stupid but his dick was godly
    >> Titanium Man 02/12/11(Sat)23:08 No.13881945
    >looking into a shady arms company
    >my character, gothic armored superhero called Darkhold, meets spy called Scorpio and some snake dude called Slithering to compare notes under bridge
    >we hear trembling above us
    >turns out it's a fuckhuge cyborg golem thing
    >I fire a lightning bolt at it
    >natural 20, kill it in one shot
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:11 No.13881980
    >I just got these awesome new prosthetics
    >taking a walk for the first time in 20 years
    >Some asshole in armor comes and kills me with fucking lightning
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:13 No.13881994
    >>13881980

    >Heroing 101: If it moves, shoot it.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:14 No.13882014
    >>13881980

    >Used to be ore
    >got smelted into steel
    >forged into FUCKING CYBERLEGS, YEAH
    >get grafted to a guy
    >some faggot lightningbolts the guy I'm grafted too
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:15 No.13882019
    >existing in an elemental plane, enjoying being all shocking and shit
    >get pulled into reality
    >suddenly I'm being shot at some metal dude going for a stroll
    >kill him instantly
    >> The Scientist !!heRPel6KTW6 02/12/11(Sat)23:15 No.13882023
    >>13880713
    >>13881160
    >>13881205
    Updoot: still drawing.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:18 No.13882055
         File1297570706.png-(101 KB, 201x216, 1287628406525.png)
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    >>13882023
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:19 No.13882072
    >be a bridge
    >some douchebags try to kiss each other under me
    >a minute later a giant metal dude tries to walk over me
    >a lightning bolt comes out of fucking nowhere
    >metal dude dies instantly
    >everything went better than expected.jpg
    >> Titanium Man 02/12/11(Sat)23:24 No.13882120
    >>13882072

    Hey, now, Scorpio was a bitch and I wasn't interested in putting the moves on her for one second.
    >> The Scientist !!heRPel6KTW6 02/12/11(Sat)23:28 No.13882154
         File1297571284.png-(114 KB, 600x600, Not finished HUGE GUTS.png)
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    >>13882055
    I just realized I need more description to finish this.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:29 No.13882171
    >>13882120

    >tsundere.jpg
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:31 No.13882188
    >3.5, four PCs
    >Walk into room filled with a giant wasp hive.
    >Notice we all have several bottles of lantern oil
    >Molotov cocktail the entire room

    deadwaspsdeadwaspseverywhere.jpg
    >> Titanium Man 02/12/11(Sat)23:33 No.13882206
    >>13882171
    We disagreed on crime-fighting methods which is why she acted like a cunt. She wanted to go in and beat up people no matter what. I had a big code of honor going - no violence unless the person deserved it, equal to the crime. Of course, guess what kind of sick shit my guy did to mass murderers.

    >>13881980
    >>13881994
    >>13882014

    He swung a lamppost at us. Officially fair game.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:34 No.13882216
    >Use a Young Dragon as a Quest Giver for not-good-at-rp Hackenslash players in 2nd Ed.
    >Level 1 Hackenslash players see a Dragon, and attack it.
    >Young Dragon hands them their asses.
    >Don't kill them but take their weapons as punishment
    >ProTip: Never take Hackenslash players' weapons as punishment
    >Players follow Dragon back to cave
    >Players set up large log on swinging ropes at mouth of cave, raise it up, call out Dragon
    >Dragon comes out, Players roll to hit called shot to head with a swinging log battering ram
    >Miss
    >PC: "What about when the log swings back again?"
    >Critical
    >MFW level 1 party slays a young dragon
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:38 No.13882259
    >>13882216
    Reminds me of Ewoks versus AT-ST.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:40 No.13882278
    >>13882216
    Who cut down the tree? Did they use their hands or teeth? Or maybe they improvised weapon'd a beaver?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:47 No.13882357
    >>13882278
    Y'know trees fall down naturally on their own, right? Age, wind, weighed down by freezing rain. Any copse older than 30yrs is gonna have some fallen comrades. DC 5 Survival Check, basically.

    If nothing else, have the Barbarian push one over vis-a-vis how Pakies use Elephants to log areas.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/11(Sat)23:52 No.13882410
    >>13882154
    No, not really. Doing good so far.
    The rest of the party is:
    A hu-cast: http://www.pso-world.com/images/classes/hucast.jpg
    A gold dragonborn: http://www.playfactory.fr/dungeons_dragons/img/visuels/Dragonborn_M_Warlock_111115.jpg
    And a cambion: http://thecrux.cc/Submitted_Images/Cambion_whelp_Fostriis.bmp

    If you want to draw them chibi-style looking horrified in the background, that would be an epic plus. They were in a cave. Looks amazing so far.

    And remember, it was a vrock being disemboweled. If you have any questions, let me know.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:00 No.13882514
    >Playing 3.5e, using classes from a book called The Hunt: Rise of Evil
    >Play a NE Shaman of the death domain, start level 3
    >It's like a weird mix of druid/cleric/wizard
    >party hires a boat to get to where we need to go.
    >Boat crashes on island, characters fall unconscious.
    >Wake up, prisoners in a huge gladiatorial arena
    >Some goblin comes in and gives us shit, wondering why we're there.
    >us:"We crashed, nothing more, nothing less."
    >him:"I don't believe you. To the arena with you all"
    >taken Individually to gladiatorial arena.

    Continued
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:02 No.13882536
    >>13882278
    drug a fallen tree?
    pay someone to do it?
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:02 No.13882544
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    >>13882514

    >My fight comes, arena is pretty common
    >Large shoddy pillar in middle, some small water pits between arena walls and pillar in middle
    >run to pillar, call out raven familiar to fly on top of pillar to see stuff for me
    >"BIG DOG, BIG DOG"
    >still have gear, throw a ration to distract the animal. Fail
    >"Dog" moves closer to pillar, throw another ration near small pool. It goes for easy meal.
    >See "Dog" is a Dire Wolf.
    >Attack with spear, miss, ignored
    >Attack again, miss, growled at, but continues eating.
    >"Fuck It." Sparta kick wolf into pool, it fails to climb back out
    >Stab it in shoulder with spear, lodges in place.
    >Wolf tries to jump out of pool, but is held by me and my spear.
    >reach into belt pouch quickly for ink vial, uncork with mouth. Splash wolf in eyes for blindness.
    >Dire Wolf lunges at me, fails opposed Str check
    >Spear skewers wolf and dislocates shoulder completely. Wolf now stuck in small pool it can't climb out of.
    >Spear snaps. Toss away broken spear handle, pull out staff.
    >Beat helpless wolf to death
    >BAB progression: As sorcerer
    >Strength: 13
    >Entire parties face when
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:05 No.13882582
    >>13882544
    >we crashed
    >lol naw bro, naw. go fight things
    really?
    >> Old-school DM 02/13/11(Sun)00:10 No.13882642
    >>13882216
    Called shots.
    They do not do extra damage.
    None.
    They do nothing special, at all, unless the GM rules that there's something small the player needs to hit.

    You cannot make a called shot with a weapon as crude as a log on a rope. You also cannot make sneak attacks with it.

    A log would not do enough damage to kill that dragon.

    In summary, you, or whoever the DM was, did not know the rules, and was taken advantage of by their players.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:12 No.13882655
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    >convince DM to let me build magic missile minigun
    >never use it
    >later in the campaign, fighter decides on a whim to save a giant snowtoad from a thunderbird
    >fly there on Wings of Flight, spin up barrels
    >pissed about wasting time...
    >...but have a crush on the fighter
    >appear in the bird's nest
    "CRY SOME MORE!" (.jpg)
    >kill it in one turn

    After:
    >toad is dead anyway
    >fighter loses interest
    >youwillneverknow.gif

    Of course, the dorftastic Hellknight collects feathers for his armor, and pats my wizard on the back.

    "Good job. These will look great on my new plates."
    >mfw
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:16 No.13882712
    >>13882582

    Sadly, yes. We're playing that we're in a sort of peace-keeping/police type unit trying to be big damn heroes (Lol neutral evil), and bad weather caused out ship to come aground. The goblin thought we were there to bust him for something. After the individual fights, we had another larger fight that we won, and ended up talking to the first goblins twin brother. The second goblin sent the first into the arena for not letting us go in the first place, then got us another boat so we could continue on our way.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:16 No.13882721
    >>13882642
    >can't make a Sneak Attacks with a tree

    nofunallowed.jpg
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:19 No.13882750
    >>13882642
    >A log would not do enough damage to kill that dragon.
    A swinging log to the head should knock it out, though. Perhaps theymerely glossed over the coup de grace?
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:20 No.13882765
    >>13882712
    tell me gobtard died horribly.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:20 No.13882767
    >>13882642

    Hulking Hurler/Monk/Rogue. Oh yes I fucking CAN make sneak attacks with a tree, bitch.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:21 No.13882776
    >>13882765

    It was pretty heavily implied at the time that that was what was happening.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:22 No.13882789
    >>13882767

    Herp, replace "Monk" with "Drunken Master"
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:24 No.13882811
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    >>13882642
    >Implying another DM doesn't know the rules
    >Not allowing consideration for Rule 0
    >Other instances of stated house-rulings in same thread as early as the third post
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:25 No.13882822
    >Playing my first character ULFGARR THE DWARF
    >Going through dungeon
    >Shot by poison dart, DM rolls to see what it effects. Laughs and tells me I'll find out soon.
    >Stomach starts rumbling like a dragons roar, turns out my intestines were effected.

    >Time to fight some orcs

    >CLEAVE ARMOR, NAT 18, YEAR
    >CLEAVE WEAPON, NAT 20, FUCK YEAR
    >BULLRUSH SUCCESS, TAKE HIM DOWN!

    At this point I proceed to interrogate the orc.

    "Where's your leader?"

    "Your mother is a beardless WENCH, DWARF."

    "MY MOTHER HAD AN AMAZING BEARD."

    >Roll for punch
    >DM reminds me I have lethal fists due to a feat
    >Orcs skull reverberates between my fist and the floor, killing him with the concussive force.

    >Stomach starts to rumble again.
    >Regret wearing loin cloth
    >Shit all over orcs chest and walk away with a tear in my eye.
    TLDR; Gave an orc a sloppy Cleveland Steamer.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:32 No.13882924
    File deleted.
    >>13880437
    The op STILL hasn't sauced the pic!
    I demand nao!
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:33 No.13882938
    >>13882822

    Can't.... stop..... laughing.....
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:34 No.13882954
    >>13882822
    My word.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:35 No.13882973
    >>13882938
    There was a whole thread of ulfgarr's exploits that got archived. I don't know where the link was, but this story was in there I believe, as well as many other awesome/hilarious ones.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:40 No.13883036
    >>13882973
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12976701/

    Found it for ya buddy.

    Ulfgarr stories don't seem to start until a bit down, and he slowly takes over the thread like a plague.
    >> Nephanim 02/13/11(Sun)00:43 No.13883074
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    Dark Heresy. The party is up against three Golephs and thirty hereteks with lazguns. The cultists are fighting the Priest, the Assassin and the Techpriest to a standstill, two of the Golephs are pretty much faceraping the Skum and the shooty psyker, while the third is coming right at me.

    My character is a healing Psyker, with horrible offensive ability, so I decide to sacrifice my own defense in order to try and heal the Shooty Psyker and the Skum and get them back into the fight. I roll at full power, 3 dice... 9, 9, 9...

    "Goddamn, you sure you don't want to spend an Edge to reroll that?"
    "You know what, fuck it, I'm gonna roll with this, but I roll the healing first." Roll, max healing, the comrades are back up and in the fight.

    First Psy phenom. roll goes to the Perils table: Raining blood, all other rolls go straight to the Perils table.
    Second roll: Warp Storm: 2d10 damage on everything, GM decides to roll on the cultists in 10 person groups... Max goddamn damage on all three, they get blown away. Rolls on each of the Golephs, max damage, right through their massive DR, because it's fucking warp energy. Allies each roll and end up moderately wounded, I roll and get down to within five wounds.
    Last Roll, gravity reverses... I get the maximum radius, and the maximum duration... The BBEG had just escaped out the door the round before... Into the open street...

    I reversed gravity in a full kilometer, for a full minute on the outskirts of a FUCKING HIVE. and killed the fuck out of the majority of an entire cult, damn near killed the BBEG, and destabilized massive chunks of Hive in one round with my Perils of the Warp. And we all survived.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:46 No.13883098
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    >>13882154
    Is this bro still drawing? God I hope so.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:47 No.13883120
    >>party goes up against half-fiend T-Rex
    >>Paladin goes to melee it after being told by the DM it's a bad idea
    >>T-Rex chomps Paladin, dealing massive damage and grappling Paladin
    >>DM rules that Paladin has enough room in the Rex's mouth to make an attack with one-handed weapon
    >>Paladin makes use of Adamantine Holy Avenger
    >>Crit, over 200 damage
    >>Rex's tiny brain gets sliced right in half, instant death
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:47 No.13883124
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    >Get within three hexes with an ARC-6W Archer
    >Walking Speed
    >Target has Zero movement modifier
    >No cover
    >Gunnery 3

    You can imagine the implications

    Macross, Ideon, eat your hearts out.
    >> The Scientist !!heRPel6KTW6 02/13/11(Sun)00:48 No.13883130
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    >>13882410
    Updoot: This is far more fun than it should be.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)00:57 No.13883250
    >2e
    >playing rogue
    >sneaking up ruined tower/invasion staging area for goblin and orc horde alongside buddy sorc
    >rest of the party following down stairs some distance away, trying not to raise the alarm until the last minute
    >halfway up get to a closed door
    >no traps found
    >peer under it
    >its a barricks. 2 dozen goblins inside, drinking, resting, weapons and armour at the ready.
    >shit, how do we get past this?
    >sorc buddy sticks finger in keyhole
    >fireball into the middle of the room
    >2 dozen goblins in one blow

    We proceeded to get our asses handed to us by the orc mage at the top of the tower however. I got teleported outside before getting a sneak attack in(lols, failed some sneaking when getting into position), fell 5 stories and landed heavily on the worg kennels. They apparently enjoyed this surprise lunch.

    >3.5E
    >multiclass Fighter/Ranger (2-weapon fighting) Elf
    >A weapon for every occassion on me
    >Considered a walking armoury
    >Party set upon by large group of wolves in the wild
    >Tripped and disarmed by a large alpha wolf
    >Quick Draw knives
    >Crit
    >Disembowel wolf
    >Stand up
    >Turn 2, things are going badly for the party
    >Draw Shortspear
    >Throw
    >Crit
    >Split second wolf down the middle like a spit

    Later on, being covered in wolf guts and gore came in handy. Circumstance bonuses to Intimidate, woo yeah.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)01:00 No.13883292
    >Swallowed whole by a T-Rex
    >Dieing, one round at best till I'm out
    >struggle to reach bag of holding
    >turn it inside out dumping a few dozen alchemist fires into his stomach acid
    >go up in fiery vengeance

    I AM ONE SPICY MEATBALL!
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)01:01 No.13883304
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    >>13883130
    >> King of Heroes 02/13/11(Sun)01:03 No.13883333
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    >playing Cavalier
    >fighting the BBEDragon
    >fucker won't come down, and fucking up all the NPC's we got an army to fight
    >Yell at the Paladin who he formed a relationship with, "Let's do that!"
    >We run while mounted getting distance and casting Challenge, and Knight's Challenge on Dragon while she casts Smite Evil
    >warrior, and rogue are buying time while sorceress begins casting
    >CHARGE!
    >She casts Holy Sword on her lance and Channel's smite
    >sorceress casts Shape Earth to make a ramp leading up towards the dragon
    >horses have horseshoes of sprinting, activate them
    >charge up ramp at the dragon before he can react
    >I crit, she regular hits
    >480 damage from me
    >she does 180
    >pierce drill holes through the giant bastard
    >DM is shocked
    >says we charged so fast and with such force we burst through another plane
    >Characters never seen again and have a legend made after them
    >Pierced the Heavens with our lances.
    >> Nephanim 02/13/11(Sun)01:09 No.13883406
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    >>13883124
    >Friend runs his Cyclops up to a King Crab, blasting at it with the one small laser left on him.
    >Is at one hex higher than the King Crab, makes a kick.
    >Elevation difference makes the kick hit on the Punch Table.
    >Head Shot, 10 damage, critical hit, cockpit.

    "Looks like I got some pilot on my foot." over the open comms, the rest of the enemy force is listening.

    Their faces when... (Apparently the King Crab Pilot was the lovable upbeat mascot of the whole lance... They ignored us to seek bloody vengeance on that one mostly dead Cyclops while our mechs and tanks shot theirs in the backs.)
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)01:13 No.13883479
    >>13883333
    I usually lean toward casters, but stories like this really make me want to play a melee class. There's just something about melee classes that make them so much more badass.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)01:16 No.13883522
    >Playing DH
    >Is the campagin where the robot assassin murders a guy in the square, then runs - meant to be a chase and shoot thing
    >Playing as a assassin with a long-las
    >Get one viable shot when the assassin is in my LOS before he's run off which no real way to catch him up after
    >Aim a headshot
    >Get a ridicuasly low roll as well as righteous fury which hits
    >End up doing about 35 damage
    >Vaperise the assassins head and set him on fire
    >End the chase scene as soon as it started

    Ah, I do miss my old dh days, before I become the GM.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)01:17 No.13883533
    >>13883333
    (angela is my waifu)
    >> King of Heroes 02/13/11(Sun)01:19 No.13883576
    >>13883479
    While it was a great finale, my favorite part of that campaign was when we were level 3. Our feats were Mounted Combat and Ride-By Attack. Party had to infiltrate a bandit camp. Me being a heroic knight and her being a paladin were against the idea of disguise and trickery.

    We call out a challenge to all the bandits. As they start to come out, sorceress freezes ground. Bandits all fall. Charge. 20-50 damage every attack. Me and paladin kill 30 bandits this way. Rogue and warrior sneak in through back entrance, fight and kill the leader.

    Forever a bro-team with Paladin.
    >> King of Heroes 02/13/11(Sun)01:29 No.13883720
    >>13883522
    >im doing that campaign
    >im an assassin with long las too
    >i tried to chase
    >dm says i fail because i dont have augmented enhancements
    >i mad
    >after he escaped i looted the bolt pistol off the guy in the square
    >dm got mad, very mad
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)01:46 No.13883952
    >>13883130
    So is drawfag still working? HUGE GUTS seems like fucking awesome artwork.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)01:48 No.13883979
    >>13883952
    drawfagging takes a while. Tell stories while we wait.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)01:49 No.13883982
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    >>13883952
    So fucking good.
    I'm the guy who posted that story. Our DND group is actually playing RIGHT NOW, and I'm F5ing like the Fucking Fist of the North Star.
    >> The Scientist !!heRPel6KTW6 02/13/11(Sun)01:50 No.13883999
    >>13883982
    Haha WOW! I sort of lost track of what I was doing.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)01:54 No.13884046
    >>13883979
    I don't have any awesome kills. I have emotionally wrenching kills, but not awesome.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)01:54 No.13884047
    >>13883979
    That's a good idea.

    Once upon a time:
    >DND 3.5.
    >Iron Kingdoms setting.
    >Hired to kill Fang Dragon.
    >Fight dragon twice, goes poorly. Dragon keeps flying around and dive bombing us.
    >track dragon to his lair.
    >INGENIOUS PLAN TIME.
    >Get dozens of Harpoons. (Stormwrack book)
    >Attach harpoons to masterwork chains. Attach chains to huge heavy rocks outside entrance to lair.
    >WAIT.
    >Fang Dragon comes out to eat. Sees us laying in wait.
    >Throw dozens of harpoons in to dragon before it realizes what's going on to fly away.
    >Dragon isn't going ANYWHERE. Can't move for anything, can't fly away. We stay out of it's range and shoot it to death with arrows.

    That was a pretty good day.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)01:56 No.13884059
    >>13884047
    Why can't it snap the harpoons?
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)01:57 No.13884073
    >>13884047
    that gave me a DF flashback
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)01:58 No.13884087
    >>13884059
    According to the rules in Stormwrack, it CAN, but it takes a chunk of flesh and hp with it. Which we were fine with. And it takes like a full round action to remove ONE.

    We had a LOT of harpoons.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)02:16 No.13884312
    warblade/bloodclaw
    >captured by a major religious army of magical barbarians
    >all of captives (8000ish) are forced to wear cursed rings that prevent causing harm to our captors so we are allowed to keep our weapons
    >have a vial of pure magic that has been shown to animate the inanimate
    >during a forced sermon apply the magic to a statue of the barbarian god in front of everyone.
    >statue crumbles
    >MASSIVE BATTLE WITH GOD AVATAR. starts with chopping of finger and help from the party to inspire the other captives to do the same
    >level to 9 due to RP xp
    >take barbarian, rage, crit on attack, use critical hit deck get double damage and immediat grapple
    >WRESTLE WITH A GOD AVATAR WHILE A WAR STARTS ALL AROUND ME
    >taking massive damage and cant manage to do much more than keep him busy
    >most of party busy else where but I get a little help when palidin wearing mountain plate jumps from the second floor onto us with a lance!
    >get knocked out and god avatar FINALLY drops me and attempts to coup de gras me
    >BIG REVEAL 9th lv feat was die hard WALL OF BLADES!
    >No Longer grappled SOARING RAPTOR STRIKE!
    >GOD AVATAR DIES, THIS WAS MY LAST ROUND OF RAGE! RROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!


    >... later paladin takes credit for the kill.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)02:19 No.13884347
    >>13884312
    >all of captives (8000ish) are forced to wear cursed rings that prevent causing harm to our captors
    wait what
    If they had the infrastructure for this, how did a war even happen?
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)02:22 No.13884389
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    >d20 Modern
    >Playing a strong hero fist-fighter
    >have feats that auto-crits people for non-lethal when surprised and makes unarmed 3x crits.
    >Get brass knuckles, which by the rules cannot do non-lethal.
    >DM plays with house rule that confirming crits with 20's doubles the damage multiplier for each subsequent 20.
    >stealthily rescuing hostages from a basement
    >Hostage taker comes down to check on prisoners.
    >I am hiding behind the basement door.
    >Attack from behind.
    >Roll 20.
    >Confirm with 20
    >Roll another 20.
    >Roll another 20.
    >Roll another 20.
    >Roll 18
    >Roll max damage
    >mfw I hit the guy for nearly 15 times his total HP
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)02:23 No.13884394
    >>13884347
    they were from a nother continent. they are just beginning an invasion. rings are religious items not technically magical thus very cheap.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)02:23 No.13884395
    >>13884347
    I infered that the people were captured seperately, but then cut off thier fingers to free themselves, thus creating an 8000 person army, with each person missing a finger.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)02:24 No.13884406
    >>13884394
    and our continent was already at war.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)02:24 No.13884411
    >>13884395
    yes
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)02:26 No.13884426
    >>13884406
    with itself
    >> The Scientist !!heRPel6KTW6 02/13/11(Sun)02:50 No.13884698
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    >>13883130
    Updoot: Gonna take a break for this crazy concept called sleep.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)02:55 No.13884740
    >>13884698
    You are the god of drawfags, kind sir.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)02:55 No.13884747
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    >playing mage in a FATE game set in the world of Eberron

    >in one of the Great House's halls

    >surrounded by enemies, friends are all out of the fight by this point

    >FUCK WHAT SHOULD I DO I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY REAL OFFENSIVE SPELLS!

    >Telekinesis the chandelier above me, drop it to the floor between me and the enemies

    >as they run at me I manage to skillfully evade their attacks, then I use telekinesis to gather up all the shattered glass covering the floor of the room into a big cloud, then drive it into each and every one of them, killing all four of them in a bloody shower of glass

    >my face when I barely live and still save everyone even with a punctured lung, a broken arm, and a burned face

    The scars have been on my character ever since, though.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)02:58 No.13884775
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    >>13884698
    The Cambion's expression is my favorite. He looks so genuinely concerned.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)03:07 No.13884857
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    >>13880437
    >play a homebrew version of shadow run
    >play a race of cool robot people
    >Group pulls unbelievable bullshit and atrocities across the galaxy
    >Bide time....
    >BBEG of the entire game launches a quantum bomb at us
    >Open up a wormhole and send it back.... into their SUN
    >System will be wiped soon, we needed to do something really important there
    >During the confusion ditch group
    >Kill whole solar system and group gets blamed
    >Systematically kill entire party
    >Just as planed.

    Needless to say, it generated an awesome plot point for our next campaign and our GM was shocked but loved how things turned out. To my surprise the other players didn't hate me for it.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)03:13 No.13884921
    >>13880437
    Damn it! I too want sauce on this picture!

    Polite sage for lack of content.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)03:18 No.13884958
    >First time playing DnD
    >Dorf Barburian
    >Plot with mimics taking the shape of an old lady out in the woods.
    >Big mama mimic is birthing tons of small ones
    BOSS FIGHT TIME
    >Mimic-old-lady talks about her races supiriority, detailing her plan to take over the village
    >Ranger shoots at her. Misses but pisses her off.
    "DUDE! You never intturput the DM's Bad-guy speaches"
    >She summons tons of small mimics and grows to 14 feet tall.
    >I enter rage mode and charge her ass. Power attack with 2H axe.
    >20
    >20
    >14
    >Cut off half of her arms in one swing
    >Party attacking little guys
    >Round two
    >19
    >16
    >Cut off her other arms
    >Ranger shoots her in the torso for 3.
    >Kills her.
    "I DID IT!"
    >Smaller mimics eat his ass while I sit on the queen's corpse watching.

    She was OUT OF ARMS. The least he could have done was let me finish her off...
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)03:21 No.13884975
    >>13884921
    The show is Pretty Cure. Fresh Wa Pretty Cure, or something. Its like Kamen Rider, but magical girls.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)03:22 No.13884982
    >>13884975
    The actual PICTURE source is probably danbooru.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)03:27 No.13885013
    >>13884775
    I am the Cambion in that campaign.

    I was genuinely Concerned.

    I knew that Vrock in High School.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)03:31 No.13885031
    >>13884975
    1,000 thank you's, good Anon.
    >> Blackheart !!d+z47tvchVl 02/13/11(Sun)03:38 No.13885076
    >Aidie dukes it out with a chainsword against a Necromunda thug.
    >Slash at eachother.
    >Both of them are heavily injured
    >Aidie makes a critical failure and lose grip on his sword which flies out of his hand.
    >Into the ganger's face.
    >He survives and is quite angry so he tries to gut defenceless Aidie.
    >Counter with a kick into his stomach.
    >Win the roll with maximum DoS, ganger falls prone on his ass.
    >Right into the chainsword that slipped out of Aidie's hand previously.

    Needless to say, it was gruesome and hilarious.
    >> Vesper !eFPmCmEOnc 02/13/11(Sun)03:43 No.13885099
    >gnome barbarian
    >on a boat
    >attacked by kraken
    >decide to jump off boat and slam my gnome warpick into the beastie
    >roll high on Jump
    >Crit
    >doesn't kill it, but Dm goes into detail about me hitting the bitch so hard I caused like 3ft waves
    >next turn, kraken grapples me
    >bite the tentacle for two damage
    >kraken dies
    >my face
    >> Vesper !eFPmCmEOnc 02/13/11(Sun)03:44 No.13885104
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    >>13885099
    forgot pic
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)03:54 No.13885161
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    rolled 12 = 12

    >>13885099
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)03:56 No.13885179
    >annoying friend is mary sue
    >he doesn't want to kidnap a psyker, we do it anyway
    >he wants to leave, he trys to kill us with stare
    >we powerfist him in the stomache, throw him off of ship
    >finish mission, jobwelldone.jpg
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)04:04 No.13885226
    >>13882924

    Christ guys, its been 5 hours!
    Its Futari Wa Precure. Nagisa and Honoka,

    Goddamn /tg/, youre slow tonight.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)04:05 No.13885228
    >>13885099
    Reminds me of another one. Not done by me but by a friend.
    >Friend is playing a warforged fighter with bodyspikes
    >Party is fighting a kraken on a boat.
    >Rest of party is failing horribly to hit the damn thing.
    >Warforged declares, "Everybody calm the fuck down, I got this."
    >Dives off boat onto Kraken.
    >Proceeds grapple the kraken.
    >Between crazy grapple mods and body spike damage, manages to drag kraken to the bottom and break it over his knee like it was his personal bitch.

    I wasn't there, but it was a great story.

    >I lol'd when he had to walk back to land on the seafloor because the party didn't have the strength to drag him back up.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)04:15 No.13885291
    >>13883333
    Fellow Cavalier player reporting in just to say that you fucking rock and they should make an cav order about that legend.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)04:17 No.13885299
    >>13885291
    It's funny because that was posted before. A long time ago. Somewhere.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)04:19 No.13885312
    >>13885299
    First time I've seen it, but it deserves to be retold. Even if it is fake, it's a damn fine fairy tale.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)04:33 No.13885369
    >Half the party is stuck in some kind of hole
    >The CE player is standing on the top of the hole, taunting us and occasionally shooting at us
    >I throw my deceased warpony after him
    >Natural twenty, twice
    >He gets right square in the face with a dead pony and gets knocked out
    >> King of Heroes 02/13/11(Sun)05:15 No.13885590
    >>13885299
    Wow someone remembers my story? Awesome. I loved that campaign, the DM got so pissed at us with all the rediculous damage charging on horseback can do, but he let us get away with crazy stuff. We were killing things way higher CR than we were supposed to. Here's another story:

    >lvl 6 and fighting a lvl 12 Rakshasa who was the head of a cult
    >Warrior was just knocked out, rogue half-dead(but stabilized), and sorc is out of spells. We had to fight through a building into an underground crypt/temple thing so we couldnt bring the horses
    >Paladin summons her bonded horse
    >we both pass quick mount check
    >CHARGE
    >i make the ride check to stay on
    >she is left handed, I am right
    >Double lance the elephant headed fucker in the chest
    >keep going and pin him to the wall
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)05:33 No.13885680
    >>13884698
    >log on to /tg/.
    >see story from my gaming group, translated in to glorious art.
    >see KYOOT version of my dragonborn character freaking out.
    >FARU IN RABU.

    THIS WILL BE MY AVATAR FROM NOW ON. THANK YOU, DRAWFAG.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)05:52 No.13885781
    Fighting a young minotaur and his goblin lackies. The party was easily cutting down the goblins, but the minotaur was giving us a bit of trouble. He killed my wolf companion, so at this point I said "Now you pissed me off." I moved in to attack the cow while he was still standing above my slain friend, his blood still fresh on the beast's axe.

    >Attack roll
    >20
    >Cool. I don't usually roll that high.
    >Roll again to confirm the crit
    >20
    >Holy shit...
    DM now informs me that if I confirm this next critical roll, it'll be an instant kill.
    >Roll like the FIST OF THE MOTHERFUCKING NORTH STAR
    >20

    I cut the minotaur in half, and use a shovel fashioned from it's bones to bury my wolf after mopping up the last of the goblins.

    That was probably my last streak of good rolls, and that was maybe... Two years ago?
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)07:03 No.13886062
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    >DnD 3.5 Gestalt game.
    >Houseruled that all PCs have reduced LA due to gestalt.
    >I'm level 3, Druid/Barbarian, Feral Dragonblooded Human, See pic.
    >PVP free for all to try characters out before campaign proper.
    >2 other players, both min-maxers, one caster, other is melee.
    >They know each other's reputation, so they don't go after me.
    >Caster used a smoke bomb or something.
    >Drop club and cast Produce Flame and various entangle spells just to waste time really.
    >Cast Master Air, get wings, and fly up into air.
    >Caster knows shit just got real, and casts Ray of Stupid on the other guy.
    >He min'd his INT, and was one-shoted into brain death.
    >Master Air runs out of time on next turn, fly above caster, throw some fire but miss.
    >He can't reach me, so he heals himself with a healing belt.
    >Smoke disperses.
    >He altered self into some turtle man with high AC.
    >My character notices a patch of ground in the entangle area has dead plants.
    >Caster + dead plants = He did it.
    >Am directly above him.
    >Hand still on fire.
    >Wings disappear after this turn.

    >LET'S DO THIS.

    >Charge straight down into the caster 100 feet below.
    >INSTANTANEOUS INTIMIDATING RAGE
    >Caster pisses himself from being demoralized.
    >Nat 18
    >One-shot damage
    >Obliterate caster's skull with my flaming claw-grip of hatred.

    In the campaign itself, he rolled bad one on one vs an ogre, but it's still okay.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)07:14 No.13886108
    >>13884698
    I am bumping this thread because HUGE GUTS is my new fetish.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)07:17 No.13886125
    barbarian tries to hit a ally in battle
    nat 1, that means you hit the next target
    which is the difficult enemy the ally was fighting
    nat 20
    critkill it
    "I...uh...came to...rescue you! yes!"
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)08:33 No.13886513
    >fighting the BBEG solo
    >everybody else is dead
    >not high enough level to hurt him
    >roll a natural 1
    >roll a second natural 1
    >roll on critical miss table
    >"wielder and adjacent creature are decapitated"
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)08:37 No.13886542
    In a futuristic custom system a friend of mine devised, the game is thus: A group of bandits were stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. Our group is a rag tag bunch of selfish individuals. Mine was the only purely evil person. We are offered a large reward.


    >Playing a psychotic doctor who can generate different diseases and infections within his body. Can infect people through various means, one of which are needle-like protrusions hidden in the ends of his finger tips. The party thinks I'm a simple doctor.
    >Rest of the group goes to track the bandits down. They find no leads.
    >My character heads to the local hospital. Steals medical supplies and discoveries that the bandits are receiving free aid and support from the staff.
    >Discovers a secret entrance outside the hospital that leads to the bandits lair.
    >Inform group of my discovery.
    >Group rushes into the lair, hacking, slashing, and shooting everything.
    >My character visits the poorer side of town. Finds orphans and discovers most of their parents were bandits that were killed.
    >Gains their trust with candy and medical aid. Injects them with self-generated infections. A type of fast acting virus that will cause vomiting, pustules, and a nasty rash.
    >Send kids down into the secret entrance telling them "You're parents are hiding down here, waiting to give you hugs and toys!"
    >They end up infecting the bandits and players with this fast acting virus.
    >Players have NO IDEA I'm behind this.
    >Half of players die from weakened state and disease. The rest continue on not knowing the cause of the children or disease.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)08:39 No.13886555
    >>13886542

    (CONTINUED)


    >I visit the king, explain that I can also help in getting rid of the poverty stricken section of his city, which I argue will help clean up his city and keep anymore from becoming vigilantes. They will truly fear and respect his rule. All I need is a small force of his finest soldiers and an extra bonus reward for doing so.
    >I travel back to the poorer side of town alone. Get a large meeting going on with most of the adults. Let them know I'm a doctor and that I'm trying to help. Explain that after I had passed out vaccines earlier at an orphanage, the king came in and abducted the children for some nefarious plot.
    >IS A CHARISMATIC MOFO.
    >Let the parents know that the bandits that have been helping them are currently under siege by the kings men. Tell them I can inject them with a new type of steroid that will temporarily make them superhuman. Inject them with DISEASES.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)08:39 No.13886560
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    >>13886555

    (CONTINUED/FINAL)

    >Send them down the secret passageway.
    >They attack and kill more of the party, before they succumb to the disease and rest of party themselves.
    >Last remaining party member is a robot and only one not convulsing on the ground. Unaffected by disease. Except he gets to tangle with the bandits guardian. A large, living, gelatinous thing. It engulfs him. He takes it out by producing an electrical burst hoping to take it out before it erodes his armor. SUCCESS! Hurts himself in the process.
    >I did all of this in SECRET meetings with the GM, explaining to the group in radio transmissions that I was merely just stealing shit from the hospital to sell to benefit the group as a whole until they decided to have me track down what the cause of the disease was.
    >MFW the party feels crappy about losing everyone, before the GM explains my scene with the kings men. They brighten up. Then I order the kings men to detain the robot and burn the rest and I am payed HANDSOMELY twice in front of them.

    I'm a nice person. This was the ONLY dick bag move I have ever done. The fact that it worked out so well is what gets me. The group, thankfully enough, had no hard feelings and were blown away by my subterfuge.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)08:46 No.13886612
    >RT Game
    >Playing slutty voidmistress
    >Ship is commandeered by three Alpha Legion CSMs, have already killed two through GM leniency, surprise and incredible luck
    >Third one is pissed off and chasing me with a chainsword
    >Normal bolt pistol does not scratch him
    >Astartes bolt pistol just pisses him off
    >Grenade jammed behind his neck just chips the armor
    >Have been dodging chainswords for 30 seconds
    >Fail dodge roll
    >Get leg chopped off
    >CSM advances for the kill
    >Hold up the pins to the grenades at his waist
    >Throw myself aside as he is blown in half
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)08:53 No.13886665
    >D&D4e
    >airship crashes near me
    >refugee ship from besieged Githzerai fortification
    >pleading for assistance (PLOT HOOK)
    >agree to assist the hell out of 'em, for the low-low price of... ONE AIRSHIP.
    >38 on the Diplomacy check
    <DM> Seriously? You're barely into Paragon tier, how can you have an airship?
    <Me> By rolling a 38 on the Diplomacy and being DAMN SEXY.

    >refugee pilots airship toward fortification
    >encounter enemy flagship mid-fight, engage in ship-to-ship combat
    >Githyanki captain of flagship comes abovedecks to dispatch us in person
    >Seeker lodges a Feyjump Shot in the captain's arm
    <Seeker> I teleport her three squares toward me.
    <DM> ...that's over the side of the airship. She gets a save from that...
    >DM rolls save
    >nat 1
    <DM> ... so the TWO HUNDRED FIFTY HP ELITE CAPTAIN gets bamfed off the side of her own fucking airship and takes... y'know, I don't feel like rolling 20d10. Are you happy? You just one-shotted an elite.
    <Seeker> Quite.
    >commandeer BETTER AIRSHIP

    The best part is that we can probably expect a visit from our friend the Captain sometime later in the tier. The best plot is that which happens naturally.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)09:06 No.13886759
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    >>13881084

    Holy crap, I remember that. What are the odds?...

    Say hi to your dad for me. Tell him Mark sends his regards.

    To contribute to this thread, one of my old stories I posted before, different context:

    >Shadowrun campaign
    >played a physad ninja elf
    >going home after a successful run
    >ambushed by gangers
    >roll initiative
    >went first before everyone else
    >have multiple attacks, so declared a strike on each opponent with monoblade
    >crit every single one
    >encounter ends

    >party's faces
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)09:34 No.13886966
    >>13883124

    1st Edition Mechwarrior RPG campaign, party is hunting down pirates in the middle of a raid.

    They spot a junky-looking Archer heading down the street, it's armor riddled with holes. The PC's send another heavy, a Catapult to jump in front of it to keep it from getting a good shot on the parts warehouse they were protecting.

    At which point the Archer reveals those holes weren't damage, but weapons ports.

    Forty machineguns and a large laser bolt later and the Catapult is a burning ball of tinfoil scraps after the Archer did internal damage six times from the MG's to it's ammo bays....and both get hit.

    Party thinks it's so awesome they salvage the Archer after beating the pirates and use it.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)09:39 No.13887003
    SOMEONE ARCHIVE THIS THREAD GOGO
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)09:54 No.13887110
    >>13887003
    You know, you could do it yourself, you lazy cunt.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)10:05 No.13887179
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    >>13887003
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/13880437/

    There, it's not exactly a hard process, you know.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)12:23 No.13888183
    I can't wait for HUGE GUTS to be done
    >> SIDEBOARD 02/13/11(Sun)12:32 No.13888241
    Dm'ing 4E Keep on Shadowfell

    >>1st dungeon room rogue detects and disarms pit trap while stealthed, tells party about enemy numbers.
    >>Party kills goblins in the room
    >>Party checks possible routes
    >>Party hears sounds of goblins and mining coming from other room
    >>They decide to draw em out.
    >>Wizard uses ghost sound to create sounds of battle
    >>1 Goblin and Lizard come out to check
    >>Party hides behind pillars, pit trap between 4 pillars.
    >>goblin finds pit trap doesnt see fighting
    >>goblin triggers pit trap without falling
    >>Rogue backstabs goblin and kills it
    >>Ranger kills lizard
    >>Party tries to reset trap, they hear more goblins walk towards them
    >>Wizard creates an illusion that nothing is happening
    >>Goblin leader notices illusion
    >>Wizard says "Before he notices anything else I throw a rock in his face while casting casting light."
    >>I say ok roll if you hit him, Nat 20.
    >>"Rock flies in the air and suddenly explodes in a flash of light. The goblins unused to sudden flashes of light due to them staying in the mines for so long are blinded and stunned. The goblin leader is also hit for 1d4 of damage. You get a surprise round."
    >>Party decimates goblins during surprise round.
    >>Warforged Fighter shieldslams one goblin into a pillar instantly killing it.
    >>Ranger paladin and barbarian clean up the rest.
    >>Rogue sneaks behind goblin near pit trap and asks "does kicking him count as a standard or minor action"
    >>I ask why? Don't bother waiting for answer I knew what he was going to do.
    >>I say... FREE ACTION
    >>Rogue shouts "THIS IS SPARTA!"
    >>Rogue also adds - "I shoot him with my crossbow in mid air"
    >>Crossbow hits doing 1d6 damage + 1d4 from kick + damage from fall. Goblin falls prone, pit is filled with dire rats, rats eat goblin.
    >> The Scientist !!heRPel6KTW6 02/13/11(Sun)13:39 No.13888705
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    >>13888183
    Updoot: Woke up late, this is becoming much more involved than I first anticipated.
    >> Titanium Man 02/13/11(Sun)13:46 No.13888768
    >>13888705

    CHOO CHOO CA-BOOGIE
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 02/13/11(Sun)13:49 No.13888793
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    DnD 3.5

    Long story short, we are fighting a bloodthirster (some big daemon that we forgot the name of but everyone called a bloodthirster) that was possessing the Queen of Israel (some land in the DM's game we all forgot the name of but everyone called Israel) like a used condom. My Warforged Warblade of Nod attaches onto him with my grapple beam. He tosses me into the veils of the Initiate of the Seven Veils.

    Transported to Mechanicus.

    So I think I'm out of the fight. The Bloodthirster charges the rest of the party, and hits the veil.

    Transported to Mechanicus. Right next to me.

    I grapple beam again, hit my stance that increases my attack range, and then Rocket Punch of Perfect Clarity for damn near 160 damage. The fight becomes my Warblade vs. the Bloodthirster in midair across the gears of Mechanicus.

    Finally, I call out in Mechanicus machine code that "There is a virus in Mechanicus. Initiate purge mechanics. End of Line. Compile request." A passing Inevitable helps out and the Bloodthirster dies. He teleports me back.

    We were all amazed.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)13:56 No.13888859
    >>13888705
    That is beautiful.
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid 02/13/11(Sun)14:04 No.13888924
    >Playing 7'6" 180 lb. Slenderman-meets-PyramidHead Guardsman from Dusk who goes absolutely silent/mute in the frenzy.
    >In a village on a Swampy Agri-world, my shotgun wedding to the innkeeper's daughter is interrupted.
    >Interrupted by an attack by a bunch of cultists of Nurgle, 2 witches, 2 stinkbeasts, and 1 carnosaur.
    >4-5 rounds in, almost fucking everything is already dead
    >Suddenly-
    >"I'MTHECROCOSAURBITCH!!!"
    >Scaly motherfucker just bulldozes through two houses without giving even a single morsel of a fuck, but slows down and looks confused. (Psyker just evacuated the skull of the beastmaster witch and it reverted to basic animal mind)
    >It sees meat along the wall of the inn in which the wedding party is hiding(cultists i bifurcated who now lay in a soup of themselves) and proceeds to eat.
    >Frenzy fading, my body painted in 2 coats of primer and 4 coats of official GW "Cultist Gore" Red, I rush into the inn, run upstairs, out the window onto the 1st floor roof, and sheathe my sword.
    >(To The Arbites)"Joseph, when I die, leave my blade and my mask to my firstborn or, failing that, to the Macc Baís of Dusk."
    >Snap warmask shut, fall silent. Frenzy.
    >Jump off roof onto clueless carnosaur.
    >Carnosaur fails agility. I slam into it, wrapping and locking my arm around its neck

    >ThisIsHowIRassleAGator.jpeg

    >Roll for first unarmed damage done by me (1d5-2+5)
    >10
    >Fate point. Auto-confirm. Roll Righteous fury damage.
    >10
    >Roll 2nd righteous fury damage.
    >7
    >11 wounds of damage and one level of fatigue, it keeps failing its rolls to escape my grasp. over and over, me and the beast go down in the mud, wrestling like fuck every time the psyker spasms it
    >Team guns it down like a boss, and i take a wound as it falls on top of me.
    >Push it off, stand up, nail its head to the ground with my sword.
    >"RIGHT, THEN! NOW! WHO KNOWS HOW TO COOK ONE OF THESE THINGS!?"
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)14:22 No.13889074
    This doesn't involve a kill, unless you count my teammates, but the fight did end well.

    >Playing Marvel Universe Roleplaying Game
    >Party is epic level and story is set in 40 years in the future where mutants still aren't liked.
    >Party is traveling through forests in Canada on foot when we learn we are being tracked.
    >Tracker turns out to be Wolverine who has lived as a hermit in Canada for the passed 30 years. This Wolverine has devolved into an insane, berserk killer.
    >My party believes they can take on Wolverine because we out number him.
    >I watch as Wolverine proceeds to rip and tear the entire team a new one, except for me who is just watching.
    >Wolverine turns to me.
    >I turn to GM. My character is a badass commando so I ask if he remembered all his equipment. GM answers yes.
    >I ask GM if there is a can of pepperspray in my equipment. GM answers yes.
    >I pool all my points into spraying pepperspray in Wolverine's face.
    >While Wolverine goes off on a blind, tree-killing frenzy I grab my teammates and run. We live to fight another day all because of me.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)14:28 No.13889123
    My arbites was wracked with fear while facing this heretical bio construct, it went to attack the psyker who my PC sees as the little sister she never had, she went into berserker bigger sister mode, charged it with a knife, got some righteous furies and killed it.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)14:30 No.13889137
    >>13888705

    Much more AWESOME Than anticipated, you mean.

    Having just finished reading the thread, this whole turn of events has spawned manly tears.

    Manly tears.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)14:30 No.13889143
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    >Dark Heresy
    >Dark Eldar, Eldar, and Admech clusterfuck
    >allied with Eldar due to Inquisitor shenanigans
    >salamander scout w/ heavy flamer bum rushing Eldar farseer
    >guardsman with lasgun+grenade launcher fires frag grenade into Salamander
    >righteous fury, righteous fury EVERYWHERE
    >GM grins
    >"Your frag grenade detonates directly next to large promethium tank, the ensuing explosion immolates the scout vehicle and anything nearby."
    >Eldar farseer and techpriests down
    >Inquisitor's attempted heresy quelled
    >report as "unfortunate incident" due to Inquisitor
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)14:35 No.13889191
    Mines not as good as half of these people but still pretty awesome IMO

    >Human Monk. Fighting a "anti-party"
    >Me vs dwarf fighter
    > all of his allies are dead he runs
    >AoO! *rolls 20 then confirms* i say im kicking him in the balls yelling "RISING FALCON!!"
    >Dwarf dies from sonic force
    >IRL put on sunglasses and forever name my attacks
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid 02/13/11(Sun)14:40 No.13889237
    I was DM'ing this one.

    >D&D 3.5
    >Bright Justice is an Unarmed Swordsage with 8 Int, a lot like a naive, oblivious Kamen Rider
    >25-30 strong force of well-equipped, well-organized orcs (funded and controlled by BBEG) is marching on the fortress town the group is in.
    >Bright Justice figures fuck this tactical shit and runs out the gate to charge the orcs alone and meet them some 80-100 feet away from the walls.
    >He uses sudden leap and some other shit, makes it there like lightning.
    >Nat 20 Initiative.
    >"How big is that armored, covered battering ram?"
    >"Gargantuan"
    >"Wow, okay well I'm going for them. I use Death Mark."
    >"Which orc?"
    >"None of them."
    >"? What? ...Oh sh-"
    >"The battering ram."
    >Death Mark heavily damages the battering ram and its second part channels fiery explosive force through the target, its magnitude and power based on the target's size.
    >6d6 fire damage in a radius that encompassed the entire group of orcs except for like 6.
    >Bright Justice rolled something like 4,6,6,5,6,3

    And that is how Bright justice, at lvl 3, killed 20 orcs with a single punch, and he didn't even punch a fucking orc.

    I couldn't be mad. It was too fucking epic. I love that player.
    >> Titanium Man 02/13/11(Sun)14:40 No.13889238
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    >>13889191

    YES
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)15:17 No.13889647
    >Rogue Trader
    >Arch-Millitant Metallican Gunslinger
    >Tyranids, tyranids everywhere
    >planet burning, infested, generic dying hive world
    >PC's running towards spaceport, slowly accumulating horde behind them
    >Tyranid warrior fires something, takes the leg right off of the Rogue trader
    >Void master tries to carry him, also gets shot
    >PCs can't outrun horde anymore
    >Arch Millitant declares "I tell the Void-master to get the captain out of here, then turn and face the oncoming horde"
    >FEAR CHECK
    >Arch-Millitant passes
    >pulls back duster, draws pistols, cue heavy metal soundtrack
    >ten in-game minutes of tyranids dying
    >arch-millitant ascending hive with grapnel gun and sheer badassery
    >ends with a last stand on top of a construction crane, one bullet left
    >AM player says "He flips the gun once in his hand, closes his eyes, and puts it to his temple
    >VOIDMASTER GUNSHIP OUT OF NOWHERE
    >"YAHOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
    >Outrun flock of gargoyals, brofist as they reach space
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid 02/13/11(Sun)15:22 No.13889701
    >>13889647

    ...This is good. I enjoy this.

    I... I may well be in shock...
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)15:23 No.13889714
    >>13889701

    I almost cried. Of course, I'm also really high right now.
    >> $taunche 02/13/11(Sun)15:24 No.13889722
    >Fighting shadow demon thing
    >Riding a flying glider/kite towards it
    >Set glider on fire
    >ram demon
    >demon messes with my brain as final act
    >made retarded
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)15:26 No.13889748
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    1.25 MB
    >>13889647
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)15:33 No.13889811
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    >>13889722

    Pic related?
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)15:46 No.13889918
    >Fighting army of kobolds
    >See general about back middle riding on dire weasel.
    >Have insane speed from Blade Dancer PrC
    >Charge straight through
    >No AOOs hit thanks to Expeditious Dodge activating (moving at least 30 ft. in a round gives a +4 Dodge bonus to AC)
    >Jump check against kobold general's AC; hit, critical.
    >Knee plant him off his mount and into the ground.
    >Feel like >>13889238 for using, "The Knee."

    Decent battle, once everything's all said and done.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)18:26 No.13891663
    bump
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)18:57 No.13892072
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    Playing level 3 dwarf barbarian
    Storm castle full of kobolds
    Both weapons break
    Search check
    Nothing but hallway with lots of doors
    Tell GM i rip off a door
    Pass strength check, proceed to rip off another door.
    I am now wielding 2 1-inch thick doors...
    GM looks at me asks "what now?"
    I proceed to run down the hall splattering any kobold unlucky enough to get in my way
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)19:12 No.13892240
    >>13889811
    god damn it, I shouldn't have laughed that hard.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)19:16 No.13892293
    >>13889918

    You weren't fighting an 'army' of kobolds. If you had to charge through an army, there would have been enough of them rolling 20 that your AC wouldn't matter.
    >> The Scientist !!heRPel6KTW6 02/13/11(Sun)21:05 No.13893255
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    >>13888705
    Updoot: I'm easily distracted it seems. It's getting there though.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)21:14 No.13893359
    >>13893255
    Best drawfag ever!
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)21:40 No.13893720
    >>13893255
    Oh my. you certainly put a lot of effort into this.

    Bumpan with a story of my friend:
    >>human monk with genie bloodline
    >>Can fly, can use dimension door
    >>Fighting a evil version of himself
    >>Evil version is prodigy who is supposed to usher in new era, friend tried to train him in the art of the monk
    >>turned evil
    >>Ohcrap.jpeg
    >>Evil version uses dimension door
    >>GM rules he can try to determine where he'll attack to get an AoO
    >>gets it
    >>Puts his fist where the evil monks chest would be
    >>Rips his heart out
    >>"I didn't teach you everything I know"
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)21:53 No.13893883
    >>13893720
    But seriously, that was the last session, and one-shot kills were given out like pastries. Other awesome kills include:

    >>Giant fighter getting incinerated by party cleric; that fighter was his last character beign possessed by the BBEG
    >>Half-orc Frenzied Berzerker one-shotting a shadowdancer into another bag guys shield
    >>Aforementioned heart-ripping
    >>Giant, four-armed, death skeleton mecha getting whittled until we drop a miniature sun on him, trap him in a tornado and in a cocoon of earth, then blast him with the party clerics lifeforce/all his spells at once (homebrewed metamagic feat)

    Man was that campaign good.
    >> Alice 02/13/11(Sun)22:46 No.13894574
    Playing in World of Darkness setting game.

    A boss enemy opens a gate to another dimension and flings a SHITTON of fucking weapons at the entire party. My character suddenly got the idea to jam his two huge falchions into the ground to make a shield shaped barrier and then laid behind them as the shitstorm passed. For some reason my barrier held.

    It was fucking ridiculous. We were supposed to be wiped out by that.
    >> ScottishGent 02/13/11(Sun)23:04 No.13894827
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    >DnD. Start of campaign. Tavern.
    > Doing tavern shit when goblins bust in.
    >Need to kill and weapons too slow, also on other side of establishment.
    > Throw fork at one goblin.
    >Get him in the eye and he tumbles around.
    >Leap a table and get cornered by goblin again.
    >Dump bowl of soup on him.
    >Apparently this is the hottest soup ever, goblin spasms and dies.
    >So close to sword I can spit on it when another goblin.
    >Only nearby implement is a deck of cards.
    >Throw them like a cheap mans Gambit.
    >nat20
    >Card sticks into goblins neck and when removed the gout of blood makes this tavern look like a Tarantino movie.

    Moral of the story everything ever is a weapon.
    GM's face when 20 showed up.
    >> Anonymous 02/13/11(Sun)23:50 No.13895484
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    >Piloting Panther Battlemech for glorious Combine
    >Entire Davion recon lance comes piling out of cover from behind mountain.
    >Get pelted with LRM's, SRM's, laser bolts while standing in place.
    >Nothing hits.
    >Return fire with single precise shot from main gun.
    >Enemy Valkyrie keels over with smoking hole for cockpit.
    >SQUAD BROKEN, enemy lance flees after failing morale check
    >> Anonymous Prime 02/14/11(Mon)00:05 No.13895673
    I'm a high level warrior dual wielding swords, my opponent is both a good friend and an enemy. He's a warrior with a zweihander

    >Epic clash ensues
    >He fights with brutal, precise slashes, I fight with fast whirling attacks, relying on dexterity
    >As the battle rises to a crescendo we're both on our last breaths.
    >I try one last time to convince my old comrade to surrender. He won't.
    >We both charge.
    >He critical misses
    >I critical hit, dealing double damage
    >DM says I defeat him, asks me to add some flavor
    >With my left blade I shatter his sword, while I spin 270 degrees around him, twirl my right blade around in my hand mid-spin and plant it in my opponent's back, where it ruptures through to his chest.
    >Both the saddest and most awesome kill I've ever made. I really liked that character, but both of us didn't have any other choice.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)00:16 No.13895829
    >DnD 3.5
    >Playing LE Dragonkin Cleric of Tiamat
    >Good buddies with LE Paladin of Hextor
    >Paladin gets into barfight in town.
    >Two guards stand up that were in the bar, and move to arrest Paladin.
    >My cleric walks up behind them, speaking in a calming, reassuring tone.
    >Casts Poison as he casually puts a hand on one guard's shoulder.
    >Rolls 10 Constitution damage.
    >Guard falls over, dead. Second guard runs away screaming in terror.
    >> Garm 02/14/11(Mon)03:10 No.13897914
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    >>13893255
    Keep up the good work my man, my brother is really looking forward to the finished product.
    >> Marauder Månsson !!oiDcukULdOC 02/14/11(Mon)06:06 No.13899036
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    I always liked your style scientist.

    Back on topic, Drakar & Demoner Trudvang.

    >Group find a frozen lake down in a mine where some villages children are kept after they were taken.
    >Turns out a huge dragonrelated fourlegged motherfucker lives down there.
    >Group charges at it, it charges back.
    >Bowman does nothing thanks to system hating on everything that isn't melee as fuck.

    Everybody slips around, mostly dragon but us too. Skate about, it gets in a fight with the fastest PC.
    >I come sliding after, claymore of dragonslaying raised above my head.
    >Roar as i slam the sword into its throat and decapitate the boss encounter in one blow.
    >FUCK YEAH BITCH
    >Slip around in blood while the others free children

    ---

    DH, im GMing.

    >Four armed mutant scum hides on top of elevator since they know floor above is a trap.
    >Door opens, guard looks confused at the empty elevator.
    >Scum peeks two arms and a shotgun through maintenance hatch in roof.
    >Blast the fucker like a boss.
    >Guard's body turns to pulp.
    >Ammo set off.
    >Everything in a 9 meter radius takes 3d10 damage.
    >Nearly dies himself but kills another guard out in the hallway with jawbone-shrapnel.
    >Falls out of elevator hatch onto the brand new red carpet.
    >> Garm 02/14/11(Mon)06:43 No.13899165
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    Not technically a kill, but a pretty awesome team combo. And nearly a kill anyway.

    >Playing a hacker/demoman smart hero in a D20 modern campaign.
    >Group is sent along with a covert ops team to destroy a doomsday cult that is dangerously close to completing a ritual, whatever, fuck their shit we says.
    >We arrive at the plantation manor the cult leader is hiding in and team spreads out to complete pre-assigned jobs. I begin planting C-4 at locations around the perimeter of the manor.
    >Team gets discovered by cult shortly thereafter, fight breaks out, nothing major occurs until an old man riding an undead dog starts ripping our covert ops team apart in the foyer of the mansion.
    >Run to the foyer, help teammates gun down dog.
    > Dog is about to eat my brother, whip a grenade at it.
    > Natural the fuck twenty. It lands in the dog's mouth, blows the fucker to hell.
    >Old man lands calmly on his feet with half his skin missing.
    >Turns out he's a lich.
    > I crap my pants and run for party's Crown Vic.
    >Friendly NPC's and one of the players dispatched or quickly rendered useless by lich's magic. All appears fucked.
    >One of my brother's then proceeds to get into the Crown Vic, and RAMS THE FUCKER STRAIGHT INTO THE LICH.
    >Brother miraculously survives crash with 2 hitpoints, scrambles away before lich can recover.
    >Party's Faceman reveals that he had been hiding a M72_LAW in the trunk of his car for emergencies, fires anti-tank round at lich still pinned by crashed car.
    >It was at this moment that I remembered that I had set C-4 around the manor-house and was told that all surviving team members had evacuated the manor.

    >Activate cellphone trigger.
    >Watch as manor erupts in flames.
    >Yippee-Ki-Yay Motherfucker.
    >Watch as horrid skeletal mage gets up from this assault.

    >Entire party craps pants.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)08:39 No.13899742
    bump for great justice

    ps: Captcha Uyinflu Körnicke
    wow, never thought the would use an Umlaut in those
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)08:48 No.13899777
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    >D&D 4e
    >Me and my friend plus DM
    >Not really in a campaign yet, so DM says "Time to fight a Gelatinous cube!"
    >We're level 1
    >WTF
    >Fight anyway
    >Both my Warden and my friend's Bard get a crit first round
    > Next few rounds get it close to death
    >Last round it devours us, me first.
    >MFW

    Magic conch, why did this happen?
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)08:49 No.13899785
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    >>13899777

    ( I don't) no.

    You got trips, though.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)08:52 No.13899794
    D&D 3.5

    >Me and my group fighting a 7 headed hydra.
    >Group is handling it not too good.
    >Ranger summons a hypogriff behind the hydra.
    >Be a rogue, now have flanking
    >Run in on it dual wielding rapiers
    >Crit and sneak attack on every attack (4 of them)
    >Roll all my d6.
    >Take the Hydra from about 2/3s of its health, to -56.
    >Continue onward to speak with an imprisoned oracle coated head to toe in hydra blood

    Fuck yeah
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)09:01 No.13899822
    >Orc Cleric
    >Party's taking on a Beholder/drow minons inside a cave
    >See the party necromancer (don't ask) summoning a storm giant
    >While we're inside a cave
    >STORM GIANT
    >CAVE
    >badidea.jpg
    >Punch the Necro while summoning, disrupt his summons
    >See our Barb and dragonborn getting manhandled by said beholder
    >FUCKTHISSHIT
    >Charge forward with Greatsword
    >Crit
    >Crit confirmed
    >Split that googly eyed motherfucker in two while the Barb and dragonborn are near death
    >Heal those bitches, see the Necro and druid (not mentioned, because said Druid was fucking useless the ENTIRE night) get skewered by a volley of arrows
    >Heal those bitches, too
    >Slay those rat bastard Drow
    >Arrange the bodies to spell out "HAIL KORD"
    >> Hivemind 02/14/11(Mon)09:17 No.13899865
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    DMing D&D 3.5
    Arabian Nights kinda game, players are; A minotaur, a sorceress, a cleric and a mystic theurge.

    >After some foolery and (side)quest aquisition they find a glass fortress.
    >they enter, head first across hundreds of glass soldiers
    >find villain lair, minotaur (tank) trips out into induced plot exposition Trollface.jpg
    >Boss shows up and fucking fuck the fuck out of the fucking party
    >Minotaur wakes up
    >First roun:
    >He graples, pins and badly damage a 16th level mage
    >mage cast a readied teleport, cleric was invisible behind him
    >aoo - 20. mage loses head, body teleports alone
    >MFW
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)12:55 No.13901046
    bumpan, for HUGE GUTS
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)13:30 No.13901279
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    >>13893255
    Drawfag, you are god. BUMPing in the name of god.
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid 02/14/11(Mon)14:35 No.13901802
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    >>13901279

    Meaty Bump (Sorry I've told this shit a million times.)

    >Same ogodwtf nightmare berserker as in (>>13888924).
    >Rank 1 Guardsman
    >In armored car, ambushed in underhive by gangers, automatic gunfire from front and back, doesn't penetrate car's armor. safe inside vehicle.
    >Lolno
    >Kick open door, a few seconds of nothing happening as i lapse into a silent frenzy.
    >leap out, run straight backward toward nearest gunman
    >both legs sheared off at the hip like he was a flimsy cloth doll with a single swipe of my greatsword. white 18-wheeler behind him is painted red.
    >3 full-auto bursts in my back, too tough to even take a wound of damage. whip around silently to face the gunners, charge to the front this time.
    >disembowel one in middle of battlefield with a slash from groin to throat so brutal that it actually creates a small geyser of gore and viscera, shatters his ribcage, and lifts him an inch or two into the air.
    >rush the road block, leap up onto the cars the gangers have taken cover behind, catch the leader reloading.
    >start swinging down at them wildly, slaying one and smashing the leader's good arm.
    >one flees
    >suffernotthecoward.avi
    >chase him down, outrun him, cut off his exits. he jumps through a storefront window to escape, slashed up badly, loses his last wound, is stunned on floor of the shop.
    >He looks up just in time to see my sword fall toward his face...
    >and lodge in the floor by his ear.
    >Fear 1, he fails, pisses himself, blacks out
    >I kneel over his chest and headbutt his face into a drippy, bone-fragment-studded, well tenderized steak
    >drag his mangled corpse outside, drop it in front of ganger leader, look down at leader, silently smudge an ear-to-ear grin in the coating of gore on my mask with my fingertip.
    >Arbites passes his intimidate check and interrogates like a boss.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)14:39 No.13901839
    Get swallowed hole by purple worm
    Use spiked armor to get stuck in his throat
    Punch my way out of its throat with my fists.
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid 02/14/11(Mon)14:41 No.13901859
    >>13901839

    Fuck my stupid shit, that is metal as hell.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)15:03 No.13902030
    Shadowrun game set in homebrew country made up by the northen parts of sweden, norway and finland saying "Fuck off" to their respective countries and ganging up.
    >Runner team composed of male dwarven physical melee adept, male human combat medic (my char), female orc hermetic mage, male troll weapon master and human female rigger.
    >the team are hired to seek and retrieve a runaway corp. princess that likes to slum it out with some deadbeat ganger boyfriend.
    >we find the boyfriend beat to a pulp in the backseat of his car. No signs ot the girl.
    >Time to rough up some guys for intel.
    > Dwarf adept and my human combat medic split off from the rest of the group. They are off to persuade some hacker to help us and we are going into the slum parts to track down a gang that might have a clue where the girl is.
    >Stomp in to the gangs turf, gang not very friendly
    >End up busting skulls left and right trying to get to their chief.
    >Walk right into a small troop of gangers armed with pistols and uzis
    >Dwarf gets pumped full of holes, starts bleeding like a stuck pig. Bullet has hit a major artery.
    >My combat medic goes into flashback mode, in his mind he's back in the eurowars trying to save his brother.
    >Desperatly tried to stop the bleeding, dwarf not doing very well.
    >The dwarf dies from combination of stray bullet and massive bloodloss.
    >Epic rage moment for my combat medic as he flips completely, taking down gangers left, right and center.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)15:04 No.13902043
    >>13902030
    >Busts down door into gangleader hideout
    >SUPRISE, ASSHOLES!
    >Blows a massive hole through the abdomen of ork bodyguard with his pump-action shotgun.
    >Bodytackles the troll gangleader off his feets
    >Plant one foot on gangleader and start demading some god-damned answers.
    >Troll tries to reach for his small pistol.
    >Blow hir right horn clean off with a shotgun blast at close range.
    >"Oops, I missed"
    >Reload shotgun calmly and aim at gangleaders head. Now the troll is way more talkative.
    >Get what info i need from him. I let him get off the groud as on my way to leave.
    >Turn around, scream FOR CLYDE! and pump him full of buckshot. All 6 round i had left in the gun.
    >calmly walk out, grab the dwarfs corpse, put him in the passenger seat of my sedan and head towards the team hideout.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)15:12 No.13902125
    >playing DH as a Scum.
    >Scum lugs around a massive, two-handed metal baseball bat with a foot long nail punched through the head.
    >There are a group of Redemptionists lurking near his car by a statue of St. Grendel (yes, that grendel.)
    >They spot Throttle (the scum.) who proceeds to get in his car and turn the ignition, The car is basically 40k's answer to a muscle car, and the engine roars.
    >Redemptionists spot in their tracks as he wheels the car around to face them, starts grinding the wheels.
    >He shoots at them at 160 km/h, killing three of them in a single hit as they explode into gore all over the wind shield, and he makes a horrendous drive check to avoid hitting the statue.
    >climbs out of the car, hefts his bat.
    >Throttle wanders over and swings the bat for 19 wounds before soak.
    >he goes into critical damage and his head explodes in a shower of gore.
    >get to make an immediate attack on the very next guy, breaks his leg to the point of irrepairablility.
    >lean down next to him, Throttle is in his face, covered in tattoos and piercings with a giant green mohawk. Tells him to go back to his friends and tell them not to fuck around on the surface ever again.
    >Redemptionists tell stories about the psycho with the Bat of Retribution.
    >Throttle drives away and rams down a treebear (a homebrew monster that can absolutely rape a group of acolytes), spattering his windshield with gore.
    >Just another day on Vrisce.
    >> Alex 02/14/11(Mon)15:14 No.13902136
    >>13902125

    Show your true face, Doomrider!
    >> THE DOOMRIDER 02/14/11(Mon)15:15 No.13902145
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    >>13902136

    CURSES.

    I HAVE BEEN FOILED.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)15:28 No.13902290
    >>13902276
    time to start a band, mijo.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)16:21 No.13902703
    bumping an epic thread
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)16:48 No.13902955
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    >mfw this thread is still alive, and when more progress on HUGE GUTS

    Fact: /tg/ is the best board on 4chan.
    >> The Scientist !!heRPel6KTW6 02/14/11(Mon)16:56 No.13903030
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    >>13893255
    Updoot: I'll shade this later (maybe). Pretty much as done as much as I care to for the moment though. School work and shit like horrible attention span aside. This took way longer than I intended. New drawing program and such.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)17:09 No.13903099
    >>13881763

    I forget, what's the limit for healing in D&D before ill effects start happening?
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)17:14 No.13903139
    >>13903099
    Three or four times max, IIRC.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)17:16 No.13903148
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    >>13881079
    >Leap Attack Battle Jump Greatspear
    ???
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)17:17 No.13903156
    >>13903099
    Normally you can't heal someone beyond their max. Only time I've heard of the overload on positive energy explosion thing being legitimate is in 3/3.5 & that was only on the plane made of positive energy.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)17:25 No.13903217
    >>13881763

    GM is madly in love with you or just didn't care.

    Tell me they atleast got a save or SR.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)17:27 No.13903236
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    >DH game, playing a hive noble assassin, hitman/investigator of the noble house
    >investigating certain strange deaths
    >leads to a factory office floor, a person from another noble family has smuggling deal with eldar corsairs or something
    >rest of party catches up, fight breaks out between us and two dire avenger template eldars and corsair captain
    >fight goes on, we're getting a bit wounded
    >one avenger template eldar tosses a grenade, make a jump to hide behind a massive wooden desk
    >corsair captain jumps after me, DM thinking he's finally going to get one of us(me) killed
    >mauler bolt pistol on burst, three shots at point blank range on the eldar, three hits, three righteous furys, eldar captain fucking explodes in front of me, showering the room with blood and gore
    >mfw
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)17:30 No.13903254
    bump
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid 02/14/11(Mon)17:46 No.13903378
    >>13903236

    Jesus Fuck. Bolt pistols have never been that strong when I saw them used.

    Hell, my commander, the Arbites, shot me in the kneecap point-blank with one, did 4 damage after my armor and toughness soak, i fate pointed immediately, healed 4 and so it basically just "stung a bit."

    That's what i get for thinking he's bluffing lol.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)17:58 No.13903472
    >>13903378

    Yeah, they aren't as good as I'd want them to be, but a mauler is 1d10+5 pen 4 and counts as a Best quality for the person who it is crafted for. Also, it, unlike all other bolt pistols, has a three-round burst. These things kinda make up for the apparent suckiness.

    And after all, the hits, due to insane luck, triggered righteous furys and boom. I did end up doing over 50 damage after reductions.
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid 02/14/11(Mon)18:02 No.13903496
    >>13903472

    Fuck, man. Never seen that much damage before in DH. Only ever came close with my Metallican Gunslinger's Fate Bringer that got into the mid-high 30's,
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)18:03 No.13903504
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    >GURPS game
    >We are trying to escape from an island prison
    >We've set fire to a guardhouse
    >The guards inside decide to do battle with us, probably for bu
    >Kill 2 of them with my bare hands
    >Last one standing makes a bad crit with his spear, putting me at negative HP
    >Runs back into the burning house, my comrades gives chase
    >I Pass the HT roll
    >"OH NO YOU LE DIDN'T"
    >Go punch that motherfucker
    >Perfect roll
    >Roll for effect, x3 damage
    >Two fives and a six
    >The guard flies through the roof, apparently there's rules for that.
    >At this point a new player is introduced.
    >"Nigel Fontleberry, I punched *points* that guy"

    >MFW during all this.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)18:03 No.13903510
    >>13903496
    That's the first game in which we've gotten up to the 50's, mostly due to the psyker and his fucking blood boil. He's been bursting shit to pulp with it.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)18:07 No.13903537
    I posted my awesome kill in the general board. ^.^;; How do I erase a post? >>13903520
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)18:08 No.13903543
    >>13903510

    Ack, mistake, not blood boil, it was some else..
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid 02/14/11(Mon)18:08 No.13903545
    >>13903510

    Psykers man... Fuck that shit.

    We got a psyker who is absolutely untouchable, unkillable, and essentially as fucking infuriatingly broken as is possible and still tries to grossly misinterpret rules on purpose in order to just break the game. He's such a total bro, though, so we still love him, but fuck...
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)18:09 No.13903552
    >>13903537
    Click the white box on the left

    Now go to the bottom of the page, look at the bottom right, and click "Delete Post"
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)18:12 No.13903579
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    Dragon King in an Exalted campaign. I was brainwashed and used as a weapon by the Dragon Blooded Wyld Hunt. All my equipment is from dead Dragon Kings; I am decked out. Kill a few DB and human Akuma, some minor spirits and elementals, and help defeat a very confused Lunar. However, on my first hunt vs Solars..

    Solar Exalt resonates with my connection to Helios. (Eclipse Caste flares Anima a little) I go berserk.

    Leap into a flying machine driven by my Dragon Blooded Exalt handler. He is busy flying it. The seven Imperial commandos inside get turned into goo. The DB begins to respond. Grab the controls with my tail, steer it into friendly airship that is bringing essence cannon fire to bear on the fleeing population of the Solar's fortified village. Leap out of one airship onto the other with my ludicrous Dex+athletics before they collide, leap down into enemy DB Commander and get surprise attacks on him. Continue murdering terrified Imperial soldiers.

    Therewerenosurvivors.jpg

    >>13903552
    Thank you sir!
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)18:13 No.13903584
    >>13903545
    Bio-lightning is the one that he bursts people with I think, and then he can also cripple/fatigue people with blood boil. Also, dat regeneration. Biomancers make no fucking sense.
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid 02/14/11(Mon)18:15 No.13903597
    >>13903584

    Ours is Fear Aura, Spasm, Divine Shot, Distort Vision, Unnatural Aim, all the fucking time.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)18:17 No.13903609
    >>13880437

    >Abberoth casts an illusion, I walk forward on my horse

    >Abberoth casts an illusion

    >Abberoth

    Are you sure you don't mean aboleth?
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)18:19 No.13903629
    D&D 3.5
    >Playing Weretiger, Dragon-born, Goliath, Grapple-Monk
    >Campaign based around killing evil dragons
    >Have +40 or so to Grapple
    >Sleeper-hold Dragons for shits and giggles and let my team beat the shit out of them.
    >Step into cave with Bro-ass Paladin who could deal about 200-300 damage without a Crit to Evil Dragons, and a new player playing a Rogue.
    >Ran into cave without going into hybrid form.
    >Me and Rogue have Evasion, Paladin has a Ring of Evasion.
    >Hydra pops out of ground, and fire breaths us.
    >I need anything higher then a 1 to pass. Same thing for Rogue.
    >We both roll ones.
    >Paladin rolls 20.
    >Hydra one hits me and Rogue.
    >Paladin charges, and one hits the Hydra with smites.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)18:22 No.13903652
    >>13903537
    >^.^;;
    You die in a fire..
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)18:23 No.13903667
    >>13903597
    I've actually been toying around with the idea of playing a templar calix telekine in the next game. Go full on Neo mode, stopping bullets in midair and bursting shit down with force barrage o.O
    >> Marauder Månsson !!oiDcukULdOC 02/14/11(Mon)18:48 No.13903926
    >>13903378
    >>13903472

    They got tearing quality in an update, meaning you roll twice for damage and pick the highest.

    But really, anything at point blank with full auto (or just semi auto thats okay too) will fuck almost anything up royally. Especially semi auto shotguns.
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid 02/14/11(Mon)19:02 No.13904012
    >>13903926

    We were using the tearing rule. He just rolled badly, i guess, because the 10 damage it did was 4 after my armor and soak, even with its 4 pen. And with my 18 wounds(too few by far, in my opinion), that's just not very effective.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)19:08 No.13904064
    4e
    >My bard: You best get ready to get your ass sent back to the elemental chaos!
    >Demon: You'd be doing me a favor! I much prefer it to this shithole!
    >Bard: Then why don't you just kill yourself?
    >Demon: *head explodes*
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)19:09 No.13904072
    Not a kill, but only because I fudged it.
    So we have Fortune's Wit, soon-to-be-Zenith-Caste Exalted, currently a human attuned to Ashigaru armor. Vigilante justice, all the time!

    A girl is being attacked by gangsters. She gon' get raped. He is pretending to be a gangster at the time. He has modified the armor from the book to make it have the "Summon Armor" type charm that instantly dresses him in armor instead of some other ability. I allow it.

    He transforms, beats the shit out of all of them except one has her with a knife at her throat. Gangster is the gang leader, and is maliciously going to just kill her. He proceeds to HIT BOTH OF THEM with his giant black ironwood staff. He rolls 5 10s and three successes on his 11-die accuracy roll. (4Dex4Melee, Great stunt) The to-hit was only 3 for her and 6 for him. He rolls 8B+4 Strength Damage +10 (22B) on the girl, 8B+4Strength Damage + 7 (19B) on the bandit.

    She was a twilight solar pretending to be weak and helpless.
    mfw he nearly kills her.
    >> Marauder Månsson !!oiDcukULdOC 02/14/11(Mon)20:07 No.13904533
    >>13904012

    TBsoak is among the most retarded mechanics in that game in my opinion, should be reserved for bitchin tough monsters and shit.

    This idea's taken alot of flack around here other times i've mentioned it. Seems people think its a deadly enough system with the TB.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)20:22 No.13904649
    >>13903030

    Nowhere near the person who inspired HUGE GUTS, but I would ask of you this- at least give it a background that isn't purple-urple.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)21:22 No.13905256
    >>13904072
    >>13882216

    The concept of "MFW" seems to be lost on some people.
    >> Bi-Polar Hernandez !KuKq0dYqkQ 02/14/11(Mon)22:44 No.13906147
    >>13882822
    "HEY TIAMAT

    I HAD A MACE THAT LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU.


    IT BROKE."
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)22:57 No.13906300
    This happened while I was DMing a game of Dragonstar, which is basically D&D in space with dragons ruling the galaxy and drow as their deputized police force.

    My party plays with one general rule: Have your characters act with common sense for whatever universe they are in. Basically, don't act like a retard.

    Story takes place while the party is doing black ops work for the drow. Party consists of an elven cleric, kobold fighter, dwarven paladin, and a human ranger. They are all non-drow races so if they get sloppy, nothing will stop the drow from cutting their losses and putting bullets in the party's brains.

    >Campaign is going fine until the kobold fighter decides to start doing random crap because he doesn't want to do what the rest of the party wants to do.
    >Kobold fighter leaves party and decides to dress like Dracula and act like Count Chocula. No, I am not joking.
    >Kobold fighter starts randomly robbing and killing people in the city in broad daylight.
    >Other party members are starting to get annoyed. The cleric tries to go get the kobold so they can resume their questing.
    >Kobold fighter turns around and fills the cleric full of holes. Leaves him for dead.
    >Rest of the party is now very annoyed.
    >I intervene,despite being annoyed. Drow arrest the kobold and throw him in jail.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)22:59 No.13906321
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    >13906300 Continued

    >Kobold uses his one free 'phonecall' to call the local news station. He blabs the entire story of the party's operation to a reporter.
    >Naturally, the drow are watching so they catch the kobold in the act. They beat the crap out of him, then throw him in an even larger and darker cell.
    >Everyone takes a 15 minute break to let heads cool.
    >Game resumes. A drow officer asks kobold fighter if he will start behaving. Kobold starts hurling insults and obscenities at the officer. Drow officer walks away. Kobold remains in his large, dark cell.
    >Party sees on the news that the kobold went on a rampage. Drow have hidden his identity so the party has the option to go get their teammate.
    >Party decides. "Fuck no. Let the bastard rot."
    >Kobold fighter tries to escape his cell until he hears dualing banjo playing behind him. Inside his cell with him are two Redneck Trees. For those who have played the 'Clerical Errors' card game and its expansions, yea, its THAT Redneck Tree monster. See attached pic.
    >Redneck Trees proceed to sodomize kobold to death.
    >Kobold player is horrified until I show the party the character sheet for the Redneck Trees. Everyone has a good laugh. Kobold player rolls a new character and doesn't act retarded.
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)23:33 No.13906709
    >>13903030

    This picture is fucking amazing, but Avariel do not have bite attacks.

    No idea what your friend was actually playing.
    >> Titanium Man 02/14/11(Mon)23:37 No.13906752
    >>13906709

    Is "badass motherfucker" a viable class?
    >> Anonymous 02/14/11(Mon)23:41 No.13906773
    >>13906752
    It's a 3rd party one but, otherwise, yes, I believe it is.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)00:20 No.13907104
    >fighting in Temple of Gruumsh against an orc cleric his 2 guards and a dominated forest troll who is roiding out strength buffs from the cleric
    > Sorcerer is keeping cleric busy in a duel of spells while ranger is drawing the guards away with his bear pet while barbarian and myself (paladin) take on troll
    >in back casting heals and protection on barbarian, barbarian is able to stab troll through the foot with his sword pinning his foot to the floor.
    >Barbarian gets knocked out of way by troll who attempts to pull
    >fuck it, haste activate belt of bull's strength
    > swing hammer
    >roll
    >crit
    >takes trolls head clear off
    > trolls head becomes projectile
    >banks off pillar and hits orc cleric in head
    >orc cleric has become unconcious and now suffers major trauma
    >guards think cleric is dead and flee
    >rangers bear pet catches one and mauls it to death.

    a good time was had by all
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)01:15 No.13907551
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    >Playing RogueLock (Warlock 8, rogue 2), Beguiling influcenced earlier in the game.
    >Party fighting Orcs led by BBEG
    >Warrior getting trounced
    >Cleric in trouble
    >Druid unconscious
    >Paladin overwhelmed
    >BBEG offers my character demon pact for Hellfire Warlock class.
    >roll Bluff, 20 on the die, net to about 40
    >BBEG approaches, 20 feet away "Come to the darkside"
    >Warrior falls, paladin doomed.
    >Flee the Scene towards BBEG.
    >Appear behind him, Backstab w/ Rapier and Hideous blow Eldrich Blast.
    >Nat 20, reroll to confirm, 20.
    >48 Damage w/ Eldrich blast.
    >16 Damage w/ Rapier (weapon finesse)
    >4 Damage w/ Backstab
    >Eldrich Blast Rapier blows hole through BBEG's chest. Smoking meat falls to the floor, combat stops.
    >Intimidate roll on Orcs "Who's next?"
    >MFW
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)01:29 No.13907684
    Not actually a kill, but an awesome moment from my session tonight. Playing a gestalt Dwarf Barbarian/PsyWarrior, party is "infiltrating" a smuggling ring run by the country that's the main enemy of the one we're working for, and is shipping cursed items into the general market. We manage to take out one group of guards non-lethally, before they sound the alarm. We then chainsawed through about 70 conscripts (the DM wanted to see how fighting lots of low-level mooks would challenge us - it didn't.) before finding the spymaster hurriedly throwing all his papers into a bag of holding. He holds a magi/psy-tech gun on us and it about to teleport out via a prepared trigger. Unfortunately, one of our objectives was to retrieve the information he had. I had one standard action left before it hit his initiative and he'd be gone, so I tried a last ditch move. Fully augmented Exhalation of the Black Dragon, spat at the hand holding the bag. Rolled an 18 to hit. It ate through his hand at the wrist, the bag dropped, and he teleported away thanks to the trigger. Felt like a bawss right then.

    The party then proceeded to just barely survive an encounter with the imperial guard, blow the smuggler tunnels, and make it out alive. Shit was so cash.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)03:56 No.13908991
    >Eclipse Phase Game
    >Rolling an Extropian P.I. who was a fall survivor with PTSD. She wigs the fuck out when encountering titan/exsurgent horrors
    >Group is performing a recovery mission for an artifact on Earth
    >Half way through exploring the ruins of a massive multi-story mall, we encounter weird titan shit: a gigantic centipede made out of horrificly merged morphs
    >Roll initiative, then willpower to not collapse into a simpering wreck
    >Roll hot for initiative, and natural 1 on the willpower test
    >Fully-automatic burst with the rail-gun assault rifle at point blank range, rolling 1 point under maximum damage
    >Take out most of it's HP, the other two mop up.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)04:22 No.13909118
    >2nd AD&D.
    >Playing a bow-using Bard, who is hiding the fact that he can use magic.
    >Party goes through a dungeon, and at the end we see the "quest item" we were sent to retrieve.
    >Fighter gets close to grab it, and suddenly Everard's Black Tentacles start attacking everyone.
    >I'm far enough away that I don't get attacked, and continue attacking with a bow.
    >Everyone else attacks the tentacles, but gradually they get knocked out.
    >As two people remain, doing their best to fight the tentacles, I decide to unclasp my studded leather and let it drop.
    >Magic Missile the damn thing right as the last party member is knocked out.

    >I saved the party, and nobody knows I did it with magic.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)10:45 No.13910724
    Epic BUMP!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)10:59 No.13910790
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    >2nd edition AD&D
    >playing a chronomancer named The Physician
    >Never carry weapons or learn offensive spells
    >Collect several different colored dragon's teeth after epic battle
    >Find out dragon was being controlled by some big evil dude
    >Party gets fucking raped by this guy while I stand in the back giving as much support as I can
    >I'm the last one left
    >Call shot at big guy's head
    >Throw black dragon tooth
    >Roll three consecutive 20's in a row on hit rolls
    >Evil guy roars as he charges
    >Dragon tooth flies right down his throat
    >Body dissolves from the inside out
    >whole party's face
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)11:00 No.13910794
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    >Underwater campaign, party gets to BBEG of campaign segment, a gargantuan kraken
    >After much spell and projectile flinging, my harpoon-chucking orca-man fighter hides in a nearby house to recoup hp, is summarily thrown several hundred yards away from the battlefield
    >Friend playing a double-headed trident tempest triple crits (20, 20, 20; it's a house rule sometimes), flies into the eye of the kraken like a goddamn scud missile
    >Does the remaining ~200 damage to the kraken, killing it, and flying out the other eye
    >My PC's flying underwater fishman house landed in a deep trench
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)11:29 No.13910938
    Playing Dresden Files RPG.

    For the sake of fun I chose to play a vanilla in a group of fairly strong magic sorts. Spend most of the game mostly being a charisma/interact with technology guy, played as a ex military slightly corrupt but generally good guy politician.

    Anyway we're getting ready to call the BBEG to a negotiation where we highly expect them to betray the neutrality and kill us. BBEG is a group of powerful baddies that were kind of a ripoff of the Denarians from the actual series, same idea, same bitch and a half to kill thing going on.

    Pass a note to the DM and make a few rolls without explaining anything to the other players. (I do this fairly often on charisma based things, cuts down on meta gaming) Neutral ground is a building site that ran out of money.

    As expected they betray us and I tell the party to run and follow me... They tell me to shut up and hide, I'm just a vanilla. I tell them that they really should run... they tell me to shut up again...

    They are losing the fight really bad at this point.. One of them is dead and the others are basically just hiding behind shields in stalling tactics.

    I go to the payphone on the corner, put in $1.25 and press (000)000-0000...

    About 100 different claymore mines and assorted other high ordinance goes off in the building site killing absolutely everything without negotiation.. Other players are looking at me with WTF faces almost about to yell at me for not telling them what I was doing.

    My reply "Well I did tell you it would be a good time to run..."
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)12:23 No.13911319
    >>13910938
    While that WAS amusing it was a bit of a dick move unless your character didn't give the tiniest of a shit about the others. You could've said something to get what was going to happen across.

    "Boom"/"Big Boom", for example, would have carried the meaning over well enough.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)12:28 No.13911349
    >>13911319
    They couldn't know about the explosives, I being a mortal was the only one not under the unseaele accords (setting fluff) And if I had mentioned explosives at the event the baddies would have bugged out (super hearing etc...)

    Probably should have included the fact that the first half I spent shooting and trying to help/convince them to leave and they kept herp derping telling the vanilla to shut up and let them handle it...

    Well the vanilla did handle it.
    >> !UdzMmUq0Oc 02/15/11(Tue)12:30 No.13911361
    >>13911349
    All you should have needed to say, before the meet, "Look, I've got something planned in case this all goes to shit, so when I tell you guys to run, you should fucking do it."
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)12:36 No.13911391
    >>13911361

    True, but that just wasn't his style, imagine a politican, a successful one just coming out and saying their plan in normal talk. Naw he was one for smug remarks and cryptic snarky advice.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)12:44 No.13911447
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    I love greentext stories! It's like I'm on /r9k/ again!
    Regardless
    >Warrior-priest Cleric, avoided DMM because it's stupid.
    >Disregarding the story...It's long.
    >We get to a portal which is summoning demons into our world. Party all engages various small demons, and on turn two, a Balor steps in. All 5 NPC Paladins disengage, their explosives specialist rushes to the portal. Paladins meet the Balor.
    Now, I'll stop for a bit here. Our DM rolls in the open, for everyone to see. This is important to note.
    >Balor decapitates two Paladins in one round, two of the other three Paladins score critical hits with greatswords-a-smiting with holy weapons. The third one hits.
    >Balor takes another one out, explosives specialist lays down the bomb at the portal.
    >Last two Paladins get two more critical hits, get taken out by more decapitations.
    All of these threats and confirmations are rolled in the open.
    >My Cleric yells "Cower in the face of fear, demon!"
    >The demon points his sword at me and yells back "Foolish mortal, I am fear incarnate!" And charges at me.
    >I have a readied action to recieve a charge with my mace, cleric smite and strength domain readied.

    All this time, I spent buffing up myself and my friends. All said and done, I forget how hard I was supposed to hit, but it was a +roidiculous bonus.
    I rolled the dice...in the open...
    natural twenty.
    Confirm.
    Over 50 damage, on a x2 crit.
    Killed it.
    Bewildered, I say "I smack the balor in the skull, splitting it. Stepping out of the way as it collapses, sliding on the ground, I get covered in black ichor and skull fragments. Next in the initiative is the bomb-layer. His bomb goes off.

    I killed a Balor in perfect timing with an explosion in the background, and didn't even look at it.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)12:56 No.13911528
    >>13911319
    but that would have revealed it to the enemies
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)13:20 No.13911739
    >>13911391

    Seems like the other posters are giving you shit about your party members, but I say well done. That will encourage better teamwork in the future. (Seeing as how they clearly couldn't come up with a decent plan beforehand, other than "oh we'll muscle through these bad guys")
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)14:37 No.13912458
    >>13911391
    thats just good use of your character imo, if your party is too derp to trust you when you give them advice thats their own fault
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)15:20 No.13912937
    bumping yet again
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)16:11 No.13913464
    >>13880437

    >02/12/11

    Jesus christ /tg/, I made this three days ago. Bravo.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)16:17 No.13913529
    >>13913464
    storytiem threads > all
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)16:19 No.13913557
    >playing a Space Marine Apothecary
    >getting slapped around by a crisis suit
    >tau don't know shit about space marines aye
    >he probably doesn't know i can heal myself
    >crawl behind rubble and stabilise my wounds
    >dude disregards firing far away and picks me up
    >act like rag in agony
    "Pray to your God, human!"
    "Space Marines don't pray to Gods, foul Xenos!"
    >ram that sweet drill on my gauntlet into the "cockpit"
    >keep drilling until my gauntlet runs purple with tau blood

    DRILLER KILLER
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)16:28 No.13913662
    >>13913557
    >Your drill is the drill that will pierce the heavens!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)18:29 No.13915114
    TO THE FRONT WITH YOU.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)20:54 No.13916774
    BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
    UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP!

    Also,
    >said pycyi
    PYCYI SPEAKS!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/11(Tue)23:17 No.13918391
    The party's fighting a black dragon, adult, I think. I'm playing a cleric with the death domain. I walk up, use the death touch domain power. The dragon fumbles his save. I poked the dragon and he died.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)00:23 No.13919020
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    In our current campaign I play a Blackguard. Pic related, that's him. The setup for the party's adventures is that they worked in an evil wizard's dungeon, but the place got sacked by level 15 NPC adventurers. I got nearly killed by their elf assassin (who fights with poisoned returning daggers), and wanted revenge.

    >Go to nearest magic item/enchantment store
    >Purchase two of their cheapest long-distance teleportation scrolls--not necessarily accurate. Don't care
    >Pay the wizard shopkeep to do whatever it takes to scry on the assassin, using the knife he left in my back as a conduit
    >Immediately teleport there, landing on the table he's gambling at
    >His buddies try to grab me, but I'm too strong, and grapple the assassin, threatening him with his own knife
    >Slithers free, draws another dagger (a matching one), freshly poisoned
    >I draw my dire flail

    I should mention at this point that I was a fighter designed for disarming.

    >Disarm him, bludgeon him
    >Shocked, his buddies flee. He draws a cheaper dagger, I disarm him and hit him again. Repeat twice more. I pick up his poisoned dagger
    >Realizing he's helpless, he tries to run
    >Immediately give pursuit, stuck about twenty feet behind him due to my armour
    >Flees from tavern basement with me in pursuit, town guards seeing what's going on
    >DM says I have three turns to nail this assassin before guards catch up
    >Use returning dagger (with potent level 15 poison)
    >Turn 1, miss. Turn 2, miss. Turn 3, nail him. He goes down. I jump on him and bludgeon him with gauntlets until his face is unrecognizable. Get away from guards and dash into nearest magic-looking shop
    >Throttle shopkeep, telling her to read my other teleportation scroll while holding me.
    >I teleport back to the starting town
    >Thank shopkeep for his services, tip him

    Did I mention I was only level 5 at the time?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)00:35 No.13919122
    >I'm a 3.5 fighter
    >party and I are chasing down a guy with a suitcase, he has a lot of guns
    >chase goes into a fancy restaurant, party is busy battling some minions, I continue the chase
    >me and him fight our way through the kitchens, into a back alley
    >Apparently the bad guy fails a jump check and barely makes it over a fence
    >I hop over and attack him with my greatsword
    >20
    >20
    >20
    >He was apparently carrying a dozen or so grenades, I pierce one, all his grenades and ammo goes off
    >the party finally rushes out into the alley to see me walking out of the smoldering wreckage of 2 walls, a chain link fence, and a crater filled with a fine red paste
    >I have 3 HP left
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)00:50 No.13919258
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    I have a few.
    >Technocrat character is investigating a group of werewolves outside town
    >Send in a bunch of vampires I don't like to do the actual investigation because I'm not suicidal
    >Follow at a safe distance
    >Werewolves turn out to be Black Spiral Dancers and try to recruit the vampires
    >I come in to interrupt the negotiations before they can agree to anything
    >Werewolves are about to kill me, I point to the legion of soldiers I had manipulated another technocrat into deploying there
    >Use mind rote to escape as a hail of bullets force the vamps and werewolves to retreat
    >Checkmate.

    Later, with the same group of werewolves,
    >Werewolf claws me but fails to overcome soak
    >Picks me up thinking I'm helpless
    >My turn
    >Produce handgun loaded with silver bullets and shoot him 3 times at point blank
    >Checkmate.

    Still later, with the same group of werewolves,
    >Giant fucking battle in a cave
    >Werewolves and their allies have me outnumbered by about 5 to 1
    >Reveal that two of my allies are Mark 5s
    >Checkmate

    And then I killed another werewolf with silver bullets and Mind.

    I miss that chronicle. Not even the storyteller knew the shit I was up to half the time.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)01:40 No.13919729
    This one is form the finale of one of my brother's multiverse campaigns.

    >Party is all either 20th level or nearly 20th level with ELC's, 3.5E. Party is: A Githzerai Psion, A human Mage, A Tiefling Jedi, (Multiverse) A monk, and a reploid fighter.
    >Party currently recovering from already taxing fight against several of the campaigns reoccuring bads, monk is out of commision, everyone else weakened.
    >Currently resting at the top of a power lift inside an enemy Star Destroyer, fighting our way to the bridge.
    >When a fucking Infernal (that's a CR 26 Evil Outsider) ambushes us and proceeds to tear us a new asshole. I'm playing the psion, and nearly out of power points, the mage also is running low on Spell points, but we nonetheless hurl spells and psychic bolts at the thing while trying to keep it from killing the jedi and the robot, who are protecting the monk.
    >We fight for a good 20 rounds, but the creature has only taken minor damage and brought the jedi down to -6.
    >As a last ditch effort, the reploid summons his damaged Mecha which had been keeping in reserve and grapples the Infernal, as we cast powers to lower it's strength.
    >He tells us all to fight on without him as he hurls the two of them OVER THE EDGE INTO THE OPEN LIFT SHAFT.
    >He manages to restrict it's wings and they beat the shit out of each other as they plummet down the miles long tube to the bottom of the ship.
    >After crunching the numbers, we determined that the impact did enough damage at terminal velocity to BREACH THE HULL OF THE SHIP.
    >This damage wasn't enough to kill either of them by some cosmic miracle, and since the ship was in atmosphere, they continue to fall TO THE PLANET'S SURFACE.
    >The impact destroyed them both as that player sacrificed himself by suplexing the monster that would have TPKed us through a spaceship and into a planet.
    >Epic Character Death.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)01:47 No.13919796
         File1297838858.jpg-(82 KB, 500x375, 2158205985_3e3f762736.jpg)
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    >>>Playing a low level samurai using Oriental Adventure's rulebook
    >>>Party encounters bug bear
    >>> INITIATIVE WIN. BUGBEAR IS FLATFOOTED... CRITICAL IAIJUTSU DRAW ATTACK!
    >>>BUGBEAR HOWLS IN PAIN! MASSIVE DAMAGE!
    >>>Bugbear's turn:
    >>>Bugbear bites you. Bugbear hits you with one arm. Bugbear hits you with its other arm.
    >>>You are at -10 hp. You are dead.
    >>>MFW
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)01:48 No.13919802
    >>13919796
    Sorry sorry... I meant to say Umber Hulk. Not bugbear.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)02:50 No.13920290
    I almost suspect the drawfag is delaying the HUGE GUTS to keep the thread going.
    I ACCEPT THIS
    >> Cú Airúath Siblaid 02/16/11(Wed)07:49 No.13922188
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    >>13919729
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)08:29 No.13922402
    >>13922188
    >Play Dark Heresy
    >Be mindcleansed sniper assassin
    >Use Grapnel to climb up to a catwalk
    >Cleric wants to follow me and back me up
    >He too has a grapnel
    >He's also much heavier than I am
    >Catwalk breaks and falls when he's halfway up
    >He lands, hard, in Crit 1
    >"Hey, what about the catwalk?"
    >GM rolls
    >Has Cleric roll dodge, he fails
    >Burns fate point to only have his leg get cut off by the catwalk

    Catwalks: Mankind's greatest foe.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)09:37 No.13922737
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    >Playing DH
    >PC have to go down into a basement of a vampire Eldar to retrieve an item he needs
    >Basement turns out to be a massive labyrinth full of raptors and zombies
    >One PC finds a demon host chained up in the lowest part of the dungeon
    >PC is angry at the group and agrees to help the demon host. PC gets a pysker rating of 4 and now has a demon host helping him.
    >Other PC goes to get help from the Eldar who has 2 ork bodyguards and a Tau butler. They gear up and head down for the confrontation
    >After they exchange words the PC with the orks and Eldar goes first. He targets the Demon Host
    >Rolls low, hits 5 times with moded boltgun
    >10
    >10
    >10
    >10
    >Destroys demon host with first shot in the first round
    >uses other shots on PC
    >Orks run up and chop him and the other PC to pieces
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)09:40 No.13922760
    >>13922737

    The Ordo Hereticus has taken note of... just how many heretics do you have in that playgroup?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)09:47 No.13922799
    >>13922760
    They are all heretics. It's a very weird game. They are currently plotting to kill the god emperor so that the empire can move into a new era of awesomeness using dark age tech they found and Necron tech given to them by good Necrons who broke free of the C'tan. This happened last session:

    >Party is currently trying to win the help of an army of demon bikers through a tournament
    >Best of 5 matches win
    >Both sides are tied for 2 to 2
    >A PC named Fire, who is the leader of a human rival biker gang agrees to a fight against the demon biker leader
    >Says to wait for a moment while he goes to change
    >Comes back in a ballroom dancing attire
    >We are all like wtf
    >Roll with it. Demon leader goes to change as well and comes back in a sequined costume
    >A tango ensues, each trying to take the lead from the other
    >At the end, Fire uses a fear power and causes the demon to be submissive. Fire dips him and places a rose in his mouth.
    >Demon biker army acquired
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)09:50 No.13922822
    >>13922737
    >>13922799
    I see. You're playing SadSodHammer 40,000, instead of LodsamunneyHammer 40,000.

    Gormless tossers.

    FOR THE EMPEROR AND A BUKKET FULL'O DOSH!
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)09:52 No.13922835
    >>13922737
    >>13922799
    how much canon you guys need to rape to... whatever you need to do that requires a lot of canon raping.
    Its like you all work for GW.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)09:53 No.13922839
    >>13922799
    >good Necrons who broke free of the C'tan
    The fuck? Rage mode engag....
    >Demon leader goes to change as well and comes back in a sequined costume
    >A tango ensues
    This is the best game I've heard of in a while.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)09:54 No.13922846
    >>13922799
    i... i didnt read this post. I resent what i said here >>13922835

    your game is at levels i dont think ill possibly come close to in Dark Heresy.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)09:54 No.13922850
    >>13922822
    Heresy Floor.

    That's my next game.

    We foight fer da Emprah, an' we gonna get lods of dosh, innit boys?
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)09:56 No.13922863
    >>13922799
    >itsglorious.jpg
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)10:07 No.13922940
    >>13922737
    >>13922799
    They are going to go hunt down a demonic truck next session that some old PCs were in when the psyker PC went into full corruption mode after putting on a demonic ring and leaving it on for too long. The truck grew to 40 ft. tall and 70 ft. long. It has tentacles with with mouths growing on them and it breathes fire. The PC have arranged to use some moded Tau mechs against it.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)13:52 No.13924594
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    This is the thread that never ends!
    Yes it goes on and on my friends!
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:00 No.13924666
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    >fightan dragon
    >acro test to run up tail, pass
    >run up tail to head
    >pass strength to hold on for dear life
    > shadow garrote
    >pass attacks and strength tests
    >choke out full-grown red dragon
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:13 No.13924796
    >>13905256
    I just couldn't post my picture. =(
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:51 No.13925092
    postin' in a truly epic thread
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)14:59 No.13925155
    >>13924666
    Epic post with epic trips.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)15:48 No.13925577
    Bumping a 4 day old thread.
    >> Carl Sagan 02/16/11(Wed)16:30 No.13926005
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    >3.5, playing a Bard, low-level game
    >fightan a low-level Dragon
    >cast 'Tasha's Hideous Laughter'
    >Verbal component "What do you call a mushroom who buys all the drinks? A Fungi to be with!"
    >Dragon fails his resist.
    >Dragon spends rest of combat groaning at the pun
    >party members drop the hammer on the fucker
    >MFW

    Feels good, man.

    >Capcha: Moses, Inc
    Call today for your franchise opportunities!
    >> Tollymain !!ze5GOtMjMiN 02/16/11(Wed)16:40 No.13926112
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    >That Guy joins my game.
    >Didn't really realize it until mid-session.
    >Party is fighting massive flock of predatory birds that is attacking their skyship, slowly losing.
    >That Guy gets bored, decides he'd rather go play Xbox at his place.
    >Jumps off of this ship several feet up, passes acrobatics and grapple check to grab a bird.
    >Weight is too much for the bird, both plummet to the forest below.
    >Ship crashlands later.
    >Character never seen again, That Guy leaves to go play Halo.
    >hfw
    >> Boots 02/16/11(Wed)16:48 No.13926197
         File1297892885.jpg-(72 KB, 1024x768, American-Psycho-Wallpaper-amer(...).jpg)
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    rolled 93, 95 = 188

    >spend months in-game going deep undercover
    >do some evil shit, bomb a bazaar, etc
    >get buddy-buddy with the BBEG
    >gather every resource I have
    >corner him in antimagic field
    >wizard vs wizard brawl
    >I brutally murder him with a crowbar
    >at level 7
    >mfw

    Of course, that was right after the group disbanded and the DM and I were just killing time...
    >got a new campaign together
    >bring my wizard back
    >setting had gone from Arabian-style desert to Frozen North
    >my character's from the Frozen North, or more accurately a fantastic version of Russia
    >fluff as denied entry to MOTHERLAND and pissed
    >now working as sort of KGB agent
    >gonna save the world
    >I bring my crowbar.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)21:05 No.13929117
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    >Play adeva game
    >Take a break from our regular psychotic routine to do an offshoot session with NPCs
    >Our mission is to find any intel on the Angels and destroy the base
    >Become the Demoman
    >Enter the one story building
    >Flush out another armed forces killing the staff
    >Find out that there are 3 stories or so beneath us that you can access with the elevators
    >Storm through the area CAUTIOUSLY and set the C4 to make sure that the building collapses on itself
    >As I was setting one in the Gas Storage room an angel spawn was drooling from above
    >I spin my shotgun straight up without aiming to take a pot shot at it
    >DM says that this will be a hard or near impossible shot if it hits
    >Roll anyway
    >Get a 3
    >Insta kill a zergling that was hiding in the panels above us
    SHIT WAS ON THEN
    NONE CAN STAND BEFORE THE DEMO-DOLE

    on an unrelated note I was able to convince one of BBEG to help me plant some C4 in the room and to guard it from the "Big meanies" with the guns.
    >> Anonymous 02/16/11(Wed)21:05 No.13929120
    And now she's been trudging along a solid 4 days.



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