Monk is far greater than Samurai
It's the truth baby so don't cry
Bitches gonna bitch and say I lie
But all those fuckers are shit and can go die.

Ninja doesn't use
Western rhyming poetry
Haiku for the win.

>>14540283
>MFW your form is all off and you're missing a kigo and solid kireji anyways.

>>14540271

You fight with your fist,
And talk like you're black.
Its pointless to resist,
That your rhymes are just whack.
I sit far away, and bust a cap in your ass,
Call me a bitch, but I'm packin' brass.
Yeah, I hear ya, you like being prepared,
But hey, I'm not the one whose sexually impaired.
You know, maybe once you catch up with the times, you'll be okay.
Instead chasing down windmills like Don Quixote.

MC OGM here.
That's right, Original Game Master.
You fuckers don't even stand a chance.
Best get a party to step to my shit.

So you PC rappers think you can start shit.
I'm MC OGM and I'm rollin up in this bitch.
The tomb of horrors ain't got shit on what I do.
I only play for TPK so you know you're all screwed.

Now sit back as I spin tales of your cavern invasion,
droping traps on you of the rock falling persuasion,
Now I don't give a fuck if you roll with evasion,
When I say that you're dead there is no fucking debatin.

To me, you bitches weebo shit don't fly,
Gun's fist or steal won't be preventin your demise.
With the snap of my fingers the ground splits and everybody dies.
Now shut the fuck up gunslinger, monk, ninja and samurai.

>>14540379
Guns are cool and I'll give you that bro
But fists just rule; thought you should know.
I see your hand cannons, all made brass metallic
But if you ask me they appear suggestive and phallic.
Nothing against dicks, cause I'm sure you like those
But I don't turn tricks, at least not for bros.

Now without your guns you're naked and disarmed
But I'll never be without being seriously harmed.
Cause these fists are steel or adamantite
'Search your feelings Luke' you know I'm right.

>>14540271

You're spreading your slander, much like a coward.
Stealthing about, never deflowered.
Bitch, you couldn't even grasp a sword in your hand.
So why don't you bend right over, you're about to get manned.
Call weaboo, you can't phase me.
My cock's 4 miles long, like the Yangtze.
Dude I hope you're ready to spread,
Cause I'm not gonna be done without fucking your head.
I'll draw my blade, but you're gonna get shaken.
Dude, your luck is already godforsaken.
I see that you've bit off more then you can chew,
So I'll be fair and end this with weapon fighting, two.

>>14540531
You make your move I dodge like breeze
I see your attempt, how sad, oh geeze...
Your rhymes are week your insults feeble
No pain to me; even fags are people.
You like fucking men, I understand - that's cool
But please try again; if you want to get this fool.
So I say you want to hit me? try harder than that
Better be fast; only 3 swings at bat.

>>14540271
>>14540491

Come here, little boy, why don't you sit on my lap.
I'll tell you a story then give you the clap.
You think you're hot shit, without using a weapon,
But when I'm done with you, you're gonna have trouble stepping.
Fuck with me? And you're battling a god.
Cast a spell, and you're a portable lighting rod.
See y'all know your messin with some deity's might.
It don't even matter how much you think your punk ass is right.
Cause this is my domain, I'm owning this battlefield.
I think its best you children just fucking yield.

rolled 20 = 20

Seven a.m., waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein' everything, the time is goin'
Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

>>14540474

FAIL demotivational. At least get one with the correct quote:

"When people told themselves their past with stories, explained their present with stories, foretold the future with stories, the best place by the fire was kept for... The Storyteller"

You all think you're dope
But hidden where you can't see
Are the tripwires I laid
And twenty pounds of TNT

You'll never see my face
Go ahead and say your prayers
There are 60 shotgun shells
Built into the exit stairs

The basement's filling fast
My timers running down
A cloud of natural gas
To spread you around town

>>14540644
I'm surrounded by gays? I ain't even mad.
You've got your god? Good for you I'm glad.
Cause when I take the field you better pray
Cause I'll fuck your ass hard and I'm not even gay.
You like little boys? Well good for you!
Your god may support you but I'm a Jew
With theses fists of fury I'm hell-a moxie
So awesome as is don't need a god for proxy.

On a side note, since my DM challenged me not to be a weaboo monk I play a beat-boxing, freestyle dancing monk who goes into combat rhyming. I do the windmill as a whirlwind attack and am a total jolly African American, eating 'fired' chicken and watermelons, with a weak spot for dem elf women.

Y'all motherfuckers arguin' about the d20
Y'all suckin' cocks, why argue how many?
Rollin' 20s is shit for Rank One PCs
My dice are exploding, Tsuruchi MC

Swords are nice if you like dying in fear
But it's bows and arrows that I hold most dear
Difficult terrain is a friend, not a foe
Keeps me making pincushions out of you boring-ass trolls

>>14540924
You've got a complex, you think you're god?
Say that again? Sounds a little odd...
Without a playa what then would you do?
Sit around day sniffing your poo?

You look at me, I look at you
What would Ash be without Pikachu?
You think you're controlling, you think you're all that?
You think you're so cool cause you wear the DM hat?
Well you're just a tool for my enjoyment
I don't DM cause I have employment
I fulfill your desire to have meaning in life
In this relationship I'm husband and you're wife.

>>14540938
You say you're a wasp?
nah more like a fly.
I pack DDT so you know your gonna die.
I'd so go back home, but it was probably destroyed by a tsunami.

>>14540938
>>14540938

Bows and Arrows? What are you a bitch?
It only takes one polearm to wreck your shit.
Fuck even those Unicorn women can rape you.
Worst part is you know that it's true.
Spinning Defense and a Halberd is all that I need.
Or maybe some Deflect Arrows and I'll eat your ammo feed.
And once I get up there, we all know its over.
Your entire clan will be more rare then a fourth leaf clover.

>>14541102
Dude, too soon.

>>14541111
I liked the four leaf clover bit, then the quadriple-get made it just delicious.

>>14541084
If this were pokemon I would be packin heat
Winning matches with bullets would be pretty sweet.

I don't wear some hat, I'm a boss, it's a crown
without me all you would ever do is sigh and frown.
Lets be honest if I weren't running shit all you would have is your work week.
You have no relationships you fuckin aspie.

>>14541111
You're funny, pal, acting tough with a spear
But the difference in power could not be more clear
One Void Point for a shot that cannot go wrong
Called shot to the face and that's it, so long

Making jokes about a tsunami is all kinds of wrong
And I'm pretty sure the Mantis are more like Hong Kong
Or maybe Korea, I'm never quite sure which
But wherever they're from they'll make you their bitch

>>14541183
I've humored you enough; your point is invalid.
Just like you; your brain's like salad.
You're going meta, when this battle is in game
I expected bet'a, but you're all lame.
I'm not even arguing as a monk but as a playa,
I'm done with you Ash, Smell ya lata~

Well monk, you're shit was honestly pretty funny, some good laughs. But I'm tired and I gotta get up early tomorrow, so I'm calling it a night. And the whole thing about actually playing a beat boxing monk, thats awesome. Sounds like it would be a fun campaign.

>>14541293
Shit I didn't see that when I posted about being done, either way, I'm out, congrats.

Warriors, torchbearers, come redeem our dreams
Shine a light upon this night of otherworldly fiends
Odin's might be your guide, divorce you from the sane
Hammer's way will have its say, rise up in their name

Oh, Memory and Thought
Jet black and clawed

Children of the Elder God
Scourge of light upon the dark

Scratching hag, you can rake your claws and gnash your crooked teeth
You've taken slaves like ocean waves, now feel the ocean seethe
Father Thor, bless this war, between the dark and light
In their songs let their wrongs bring dissolution's night

Oh, Memory and Thought
Jet black and clawed

Children of the Elder God
Scourge of light upon the dark

>>14541345
Hey /tg/, it's time to blow your mind,
i'm the arcane trickster with the wicked magic rhymes.
i'm gonna use my arcane tricks and my plus ten to linguistics;
we're goin' on a journey, come with me across the Styx.

down into Hell where I'm castin' a spell,
a bullet through your mind when I fire my shell.
somatic components- they ain't got shit on me
cause I can use Still Spell and it's mothafuckin' free.

>>14541295
>>14541313
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I too had a good time
You did well yourself
Against my onslaught of rhyme.

So peace out my brotha.

>>14541384
well dammit,
are you kiddin me?
am i just too late?
I was cookin up more rhymes
and damn, son, they're great

I wanna use my rhythm
and my unmatchable wit
so please just be trollin
when you're callin' it quits

Let's keep this shit goin'
slap some lyrics on this thread
cause if you don't then i'll be pissed
cause this can't end up dead.

monk fucking won

>>14541420

Obviously 3.5 and Pathfinder had it all wrong. Monk had Bardic Music.

>>14541420
hey man now don't disrespect
we got lots of rappers here
if you wanna pick the best
enjoy 10d6 straight through your ear

cause I got sneak damage dice bonus
all up on my spells
and if you causin a ruckus,
then i'll be sure to feed you hell.

>>14541415
Fuck man, can't you see I'm all tired and shit?
I've been at it all night and it's time to call 'quit'.
I've been bashing the best, now I need some rest
So look to another for your rhyming battle quest.

=_=

>>14541468
well damn, i guess that's it
i guess the rhymes are really done.
damn, now I'm straight upset
cause I missed out on all the fun.

the monk's fists are all sore,
and the slinger's broken his gun
the samurai's blade is broken,
my spot check for rhythm: rolled a natural one.

Monk, I lied, I'm back for one more,
But this time I'm not here to even up the score.

It's to tell these bitches that monk won you can't dispute it.
Hell he gained a follower without even taking leadership.
He's a level one bard who can just barely spit,
but he knows following Monk he'll learn some sick shit.
He used to think he was the boss, orchestrating from behind his DM screen,
Now he's gonna rep the d20 rap scene.
Enough of this high and mighty talk.
He's gonna try to make it as a player, learn to walk the walk.

This battle has inspired me. I'm gonna play a battle rapping bard.

Archive thread?
Archive thread.

There's a saying out west
where we straight deal with guns
"Spare no man your best
and give no donkeys to nuns"
I highball and quickdraw and lay raw on all ya'll
so stop and take count, keep your eye on the ball
Did he fire five rhymes or six,
And did he take any risks
to put fifty men down or to play any tricks?
Fuck that, Blat Blat
We only know the true way
When two men get pissy in the middle of day
High noon, half past, in the street, dead last
One man's a winner and the other is grass.
Light a stogie for the law and take in all that funk
because "AAAaaAAAaaAAHH", feeling lucky punk?

>>14541549
Indeed this should be archived

I really want to play a badass monk now next game.

thread was fun while it lasted guys.

>>14541784
noone wants to fight you man

noone

>>14541784
Just go to bed
you won
thread's dead

Where's the thread is archieved? I can't find it on suptg.

>>14541784
Want someone to fight
Well, my rhymes are tight
So will you keep on rapping tonight
Or give up in fright
I'm a sight to behold
Don't call me old
My passion be burning cold
And my soul long sold

You'll soon find I'm a lyrical mastermind
Years ahead of my time
So I hung around a little longer
Magic got a little stonger
year after year
Until I was here
No mere necromancer, but a necromaster
The ultimate caster
I'm a fireball blaster
An unnatural disaster
You might be fast, but with timestop I'm faster
You use kung-fu, to my etheral laughter
I'll reach out and touch you, force an save or die
You try to reply, but bitch, this lich can fly
And rain negitive levels from 40ft in the sky
Or maximised fireballs, just to watch you fry
. . . As in small fry

Because you're outclassed, caster classes be better
You can punch real fast? Well, I can do that better.
Baleful polimorph you, into whatever shape I find fitting
You'd make a better throne, you're only good for sitting
Or make you my minion, but forget dominate
I'd much rather resurrect your ass, to serve what you hate.

>>14542084
MC Necro
Once again, too slow
Was coming on next, yo
But everyone had to go.

Well hello there good fellows!
I'm a Kobold and I...
I've got...
Bellows?

No, wait, let me start again.

Hey there dudes I'm here to rock!
I'm a Kobold and... I've got a cock?

Wait wait wait, one more try, one more try.

I'm an awesome Kobold, yo yo yo
I kick ass yo yo yo
Rhyming's easy bitch, yo yo yo
You gettin' fucking TOLD, yo yo yo.

This ain't too hard.

>>14542084
Cool you can fly but I can jump,
You think you're all cool but just a chump
You bring back the dead? That's cool a'ight.
Try ta bring back yourself after we fight.

Just try to hit me, beat my saving throw
But they're damn high; I told ya so bro.
Improved evasion; I'll halve your shit
Look at your face as you throw a fit
My soul is a diamond so just watch out
Add anti-magic field and you start to pout
My body purely timeless my blows unarmed
You better move quick to go unharmed
Now I'd say I'd kill ya, but you're already dead
So I'll beat you senseless till you give me head.

>>14542306
Nothing you can do will keep this lich down
I'll be back sooner or later, to terrorise your home town
Just try to keep up with me you weaponless clown

I just need to keep casting til you roll a one
I can do this all day son, so I'll have some fun
This face be emotionless, I must confess
Even when I do miss, I'm not any ness
My pokerface is stuck in a permanent grin
I don't need anything else, coz I *always* win

Your soul is a diamond? I used to keep mine in one too.
But your purity and will won't help when I'm coming for you.
Lock your soul in a box, so I can hear it's agonized screams
As your body dances to my beats and my dreams
And your mind, seperated, comes apart at the seams
Coz this is what I do with Lawful adventuring teams

Anti-magic field, you think that will stop me
I've taken levels in four martial classes
Did lessons from Weaboo Fightan' Magic, got 4 flawless passes
Because I love a good book, and I love to show up you cattle
So this multi-class pro has levels from the tomb of battle
I'm the undead who'll leave suckas rhymeless
Because I'm the one who is truely timeless
And remember that when you're fighting old age
Forget fighting with your hands, when you can be a sword sage
I'm crusading for a new world, one without life
Took a dip in warblade, to get better with a knife
But I can rock any weapon, from nun-chuk to scythe
Coz i've been practicing long and hard, in my living afterlife.

Once again you're getting all homo-erotic
I thought life wanted to procreate, makes me sick
Only head you're getting is your own, removed from your neck
Coz my wit be sharp like my skills, you better check
But why should I go and fight you alone?
Flanking bonuses from Weights, holding you prone
And as you struggle I'll give you the bone
Through your pure heart, as I wait for the tone.

MC Necro and DJ Bones up in this Lich.

>this thread

A picture won't do so I'll spit out a rhyme, a line
I gotta say my /tg/ bros are blowin' my mind
Some people might get jelly 'bout the plays you create
But you've stuck it to 'em dudes, we know haters gonna hate

>>14542635
You don't know your classes, a monk is Timeless
Read with some glasses, Mr. Lich rhyme-less
I'm no mortal, nor longer a human
Just a fucking monk with my fists a zoomin'
Take all your training, through an infinity of death
But don't be complaining when you run out of breath
A jack of all trades, maybe master of some
You take what you need, I only need one.
Your magic gone, we can fight by arms
Hope you don't mine my +10 to disarms.
My unarmed strikes, adamant, lawful, ki
When I pwn your face don't look at me.
You took all these classes but them all for naught
In dying you realized against a monk you fought.
No sword is faster, nor magic more potent
I break your body like a cheese lured rodent

You can run but I'm much faster
You can fight by arms, but I am master
Your magic gone you're set for disaster
I'll grind your bones up into plaster

>>14542808
You're no monk, but a rouge, stealing my rhymes
Don't worry, I'm flattered, it happens sometimes
What was that troll back in the days of 3E
That's right, it was that monks are OP
It's funny coz your class can't do anything as well as me
You turn up, I've prepared a contingency
The floor is now lava, as far as you can see
I can fly, so it's ok for me
But jumps need to land,
And into death's hand
You fall
Like a paladin
And then I win

Now you say you're bringing anti-magic orbs
And that all my magic, it just absorbs
But if you get within range I'll be surprised
Because I have a plan: It's simply surmised:
Raise Family, it's a brand new spell
I think you'll like it, it's rather swell
It's effect, if you couldn't tell
Is bring back your family, and their family as well.
After a healthy dose of repeating recursion
We find the effects, of my little excursion
To your mother's cemetery
Now you see
We find that we're all inter-related
There's the cousins you loved, and the ones you hated
But all of them are walking again,
Along with flesh golems, the size of big ben.
It's a bonafide omnicide, take a side, step inside
Kick back, relax, and eventually, enjoy the ride
Coz I'm illin' and chillin' like the villin' I am
Hero Killin' and blood spillin' coz I don't give a damn
You think you have it all in the physical arena
But I've got minions who are by far much meaner
Sure, your moves might be picturesque
Meet my mount, a re-animated tarresque

>>14543076
Oh I'm the rogue, but you need tricks to endure?
With flying, lava, and animation of family obscure?
WELL I JUMP IN THE AIR AND LAND ON YOUR FACE
AS I MASH YOUR BONES YOUR PHANTOM HEART WILL PACE
AS FAST AND RAPID AS MY FLURRY OF BLOWS
YOU'LL SEE THE COST YOUR TRICKERY OWES
ANTI-MAGIC FIELD, WE NO LONGER FLY
DOWN INTO THE LAVA, TOGETHER WE DIE.

BUT WAIT EVEN THIS FATE I CAN AVOID
EVEN THOUGH IT WILL LEAVE YOU VERY ANNOYED
ANTI MAGIC I SHALL SEAL TO YOUR BONES
I JUMP TO A WALL; SEE WHO OWNS?
ENTOMBED IN LAVA YOU SHALL NEVER AGAIN RISE
I'LL WATCH OVER YOU FOREVER WITH THESE HALF-ELVEN EYES.


Sorry for the godmod (I wanted it to be something of a bang), I have to stop now, it's too late/early man. Good job though, pretty sick rhymes bro.

DJ Phylactery
Where could he be?

All brothars in the house, let me tell ya, let me tell ya what happened in teegee in days that go by.
First they came for the Wakfu,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Wakfu fan.
Then they came for the Touhou, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Touhou.
Then they came for the X-Com, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a X-Com player.
Then they came for Grey Knights and there was no one left to speak out for me.
Yo, motherfucka!

BITCH STEP BACK,
I'M READY TO ATTACK,
GONNA BEAT DOWN ON YOU TIL I HEAR YOUR SKULL CRACK,
SWORDS AND SPEARS,
THAT SHIT'S QUEER,
AXES AND MACES,
JUST UNNECESSARY GEAR,
CUS ALL I NEED IS MY FEET AND FISTS,
MAYBE MY ELBOWS AND KNEES
TO ASSIST,
WITH TURNING YOU INTO RED MIST.

>>14543189
I ain't no MC, but it seems to me,
The monk beats the lich quite easily.

He's got no fear and in lava he skips,
Whilst on the microphone you have no grip.

Now I ain't no MC, this rap is foreign to me,
But even a white dude can see a fatality!

You are done, you quit, you done checked out,
Clearing the field for the monk's victory shout!

>>14542262

Get the fuck outta here, you're a disgrace to my race
move your bitch ass over, here's a true rappin' ace
Hatin' on the bugbears, they're suckin' on my mace
Bitches know my name from prime to interplanar space